Within the Flames

Chapter Sixteen

Don’t be afraid.

But she was afraid.

Afraid and broken, from the inside out. Fighting only made the pain worse, but Lyssa fought anyway, terrified and miserable, and in agony. The shift had never come on her so quickly, not for years. She always had warning.

Let me out, whispered the dragon.

But even had she wanted to, she couldn’t have. What should have been magic and miracle was a nightmare. Out of her control. Raging through her body. Ripping her apart.

Only this time, she wasn’t alone.

Let me go! Lyssa wanted to scream, but her voice wouldn’t work, and no matter how hard she tried to push Eddie away, he held on. His arms were so strong. His voice, stronger.

She stopped hearing the words — but the meaning, the spirit inside them, poured into her — and she clung to the whisper of his voice, the throb of each syllable pounding with her heartbeat.

Each heartbeat broke her bones.

Each heartbeat made the fire grow inside her. A pure golden heat that started in her heart, then spread into her veins. Dragon fire, real fire. It shocked her, and she was afraid — until she remembered who was holding her. Eddie would not burn if she lost control.

She had already lost control, and he had survived. Survived, and stayed with her.

Lyssa, whispered Eddie, only this time his voice was within her mind, rolling through her with the fire. His presence filled her, strong and steady and calm.

But it was his compassion that cut through the pain. Lyssa clung with all her strength to that warm empathy, desperate for a taste. It had been so long since anyone had made her feel protected.

The struggle in her body eased. Pain faded.

Lyssa came back to herself, slowly, in increments that were little more than an easing of the tension in her chest. She knelt on the floor, with no idea how she had gotten there. The rugs were burning beneath her. Her clothes were on fire, turning to ash. Eddie crouched with her, also engulfed in flames — his arms tight around her body.

She chanced a look and found him light and golden as the sun, and burning with a sweet heat she felt in her blood. Fire, all around him. Fire, crawling through the air. For a moment, she imagined a set of wings flaring from his shoulders, wings made of fire. . but that faded in the blink of an eye.

He bowed his head toward hers, large hand cupping her cheek with a gentleness that cut her to the core. “Lyssa. Are you okay?”

She could only nod, voice broken. His fingers tightened, sliding into her hair. “Look at me.”

Her gaze found his, and he gave her a smile so kind it couldn’t be real. A smile that was in his eyes. . those warm, dark eyes that were even more haunting up close.

He didn’t say anything. . but he didn’t have to. Lyssa understood what he was telling her with that one look.

I’ll take care of you.

Around them, the fire began dying. A terrible weakness stole through her body: skin tingling, heart pounding as her limbs and muscles settled.

She tried to move, anyway. Eddie’s arms tightened. “No. Rest.”

“I don’t think I can,” she whispered.

“Yes, you can. Just. . sit here a minute.”

Lyssa didn’t answer but stayed put as he untangled himself. He was almost naked — the remains of his clothes little more than charred rags. She instinctively averted her eyes, but when he turned his back, she looked.

She had never seen a fully naked man — not in real life, anyway. His muscles were hard and lean, and his shoulders looked even broader without his shirt. Nothing soft about him. His strength, the way he moved. . was hungry, and coiled.

And he had a fantastic ass. Lyssa had never thought much — at all — about the qualities of a man’s backside, but his was—

She looked away, cheeks hot, as he began to turn. Only to realize that she was just as naked as he. Scraps of her jeans clung to her legs, but the sweater was practically gone.

Lyssa wasn’t sure what embarrassed her more — that her breasts were exposed or her right arm. She twisted away from him, trying to cover herself — hugging her arm to her body. Dragon scales glinted in the remains of firelight, like rubies pounded into armor.

Something large and heavy fell down around her shoulders. It was her sleeping bag — or what was left. The edges were burning, but Eddie slapped his hand over the small flames, beating them out.

Lyssa chanced another look at him, admiring his focus as he put out the fire. So calm, and intent. Acting as though there was nothing in the last bit odd about what he was doing. . or who he was doing it with. Not once did he look at her right arm. It wasn’t as if he was avoiding it, either. It just didn’t seem to matter to him. Not nearly as much as it mattered to her.

It made her feel. . almost normal. For the first time in ten years, she didn’t think of herself as deformed.

Until she glanced down, and noticed his chest.

He was bleeding from five deep slashes above his heart. Claw marks.

She stared, and all those good feelings died. Eddie followed her gaze. “Oh. I didn’t even. . it’s fine, Lyssa.”

Horror filled her. “No, it’s not.”

“It’s just a scratch. I’m tough.”

“There’s blood. I could have killed you.” Lyssa tried to stand. Her legs wouldn’t hold her, and Eddie caught her arm.

“What are you doing?” he asked sharply.

She couldn’t answer him, staring instead at her golden claws. She saw no blood, but it had to be there.

Her mother had told her that witches once used dragon claws as weapons.

You’re a weapon, she’d said, then. Be careful.

“Lyssa,” Eddie said.

She hated herself. “I drew your blood.”

“It was an accident.” He forced her to look at him. “You didn’t mean to hurt me.”

But what if I did?

Again, she tried to stand, clutching the sleeping bag around her. She was weaker than she wanted to admit, and her knees buckled. Eddie forced her to lean on him as he carefully eased her down.

He was so gentle. Lyssa pressed her fist against her throat, finding it hard to breathe. “Listen to me. Please, just go. Please, Eddie.”

His quiet laughter surprised her. “If you were anyone else, I would have been long gone.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I want to.”

Lyssa bowed her head, unable to look at him. “There’s something inside me. Something terrible that wants to come out. I’ve fought it for my entire life, but after my parents were murdered. .”

She swallowed hard, feeling ill. “It’s an instinct to kill.”

For an agonizing moment, he was completely still. And then his hand came up slowly. . as if he was giving her time to move.

Lyssa did not. She trembled as his palm slid over her cheek. It felt too good. So safe. She remembered the compassion that had filled her — his heart, full of that terrible kindness — and the weight of it bowed her shoulders until she thought she would never breathe again.

She hated herself for not pushing him away.

“One day I’m going to lose,” she said. “I’m going to give in, whether I want to or not. And I’ll take someone’s life. I’ll have to if I want to survive the Cruor Venator. And when that happens. .”

You will inherit your birthright, whispered the dragon. There is no shame in that.

No, but there was power in it. Awful power.

“I don’t trust myself,” she told him. “You shouldn’t trust me, either. Lannes was right.”

The gargoyle knew the truth. She had seen it in his eyes. Surely, he had told Eddie. But if that was the case, then why was he here now, with her? How could he sit here and act as though nothing were wrong?

And why don’t I have the courage to tell him myself? To say the words out loud?

Eddie’s hand was warm on her cheek. “Look at me.”

She did, reluctantly, and found him studying her with those dark eyes, those eyes in her dreams, lost in fire.

“Let me tell you something,” he said, in a too-soft voice. “I killed a man when I was a child. And that was nothing more than instinct, and rage. I ran from that murder. I ran from myself. Sometimes, I feel as though I’m still running, not because I think I’ll do it again. . but because I wish I could do it again. And kill the right man, this time.

“So whatever is inside you. . it’s inside me, too. I’d say it’s inside everyone in this world.” He brushed his thumb over her lips. “Don’t go acting like you’re special.”

“Eddie,” she began, but that was all she could say before he pressed his mouth over hers in a firm, hard, kiss.

It surprised her — and then she stopped being surprised, and her entire body melted as heat stroked through her, turning her muscles so soft and heavy she could barely sit upright. Lyssa molded herself against him, savoring the brush and stroke of his lips, the slow movements of his hands buried in her hair, the pound of her heart and the deep hum of pleasure rising from his throat, sparking a burst of tenderness inside her that made her glow with even deeper hunger.

Eddie broke off the kiss but did not break from her. His mouth remained pressed against the corner of hers, their breath mingling, harsh and rushed. Their naked bodies touched with every breath, soft and light, and hot.

“Lyssa,” he whispered, touching her throat in a way that made her shiver. “Lie down.”

Her eyes were almost too heavy to open. “Gonna take advantage of me?”

His quiet laughter made her feel almost as good as his kiss. “Not yet. But you need to rest.”

“There’s more. . I need to tell you. About me.”

“When you’re ready.”

She let her eyes close completely. “What did Lannes tell you?”

“Lannes isn’t you. What he said doesn’t matter.”

“You should trust your friends.”

“You’re my friend.”

Slowly, with exquisite care, he folded her against his chest and made her lie down on her side. His entire body spooned around her, pressing against her back, holding her snug and warm, and strong. It might not have been the most intimate touch a person could receive, but it felt like it, on the inside. More than an embrace. Closer than skin. She felt him, alive, all around her.

“Are you okay?” asked Eddie, his voice low and rough.

“Fine,” she lied, because having him behind her, holding her, made her feel — against all odds — safe. More safe than she’d felt in years. As though nothing, no one, could hurt her. Ever again.

And that wasn’t fine. It was heartbreaking.

I’ve been alone too long. I never realized how alone until now.

She’d guarded her heart, all these years. For a very good reason. If she let this man in. . if anything happened to him. .

Inside, the dragon stirred. Lyssa felt it, and tensed. But the dragon merely sipped the fire burning in her blood and sighed.

You are still afraid to be close to him, it whispered. Why?

He’ll cause me pain, said Lyssa.

Then you should have killed him when you first saw him. You should kill everyone, then. Everyone is capable of that.

No.

No, echoed the dragon, softly. Forget what was. Listen to his voice. Listen to his spirit around you. Feel his touch. His heart is made of fire. It is pure, like fire. You know this. You would not let him be with you now if you did not.

His lips brushed the back of her neck, while his strong fingers kneaded her left shoulder. Tingling sparks of pleasure raced through her, and she drew in an unsteady breath as she arched against him, wanting—needing—more.

There were so many risks involved. . but she couldn’t stand not to be touched. Not now, after having such a powerful taste of what she’d been missing, all these years.

Lyssa rolled over in his arms, letting the sleeping bag slip down her shoulder to reveal crimson scales and twisted muscle. Part of her breast was exposed, as well — and that was where his gaze lingered, with a hunger and desire that made the fire in her blood rise, and rise again.

His hand moved. She held her breath as he tugged down the sleeping bag, revealing her full breast — and when she saw his eyes darken even more, an ache spread through her, slow and heavy, pooling between her thighs.

Eddie’s expression was haunted, pained — his voice, little more than a rasp. “You’re beautiful.”

“No, I’m not—” began Lyssa softly, but once again he stopped her voice, only this time with his lips pressed against the reptilian flesh of her shoulder. He moved before she could stop him — but the tenderness of that kiss made tears spring to her eyes.

“You,” he whispered, “are beautiful.”

Lyssa sighed, and struggled closer, letting the sleeping bag slide down again. Eddie’s breathing roughened, a wave of heat pulsing off his skin — so much heat it could have been fire.

“Where else do you want to kiss me?” she whispered.

His gaze snapped to hers. “Are you sure?”

“You started this.”

“I wanted to. . make you feel safe.”

Lyssa brushed her lips over his jaw. “Neither of us is safe. We’re going to break each other’s hearts, remember?”

Eddie swallowed hard, heartbreak already in his eyes. “Tell me what you need.”

“This,” she told him. “You.”

“Yes,” he whispered, and covered her mouth in a searing kiss, his hand sliding beneath the sleeping bag to rest against the full curve of her breast. Pleasure shot through her, and she strained against him, reaching for his hand.

Before she could touch him, his thumb found her nipple, stroking it in sharp flicks that made her cry out in shocked pleasure. He replaced his thumb with his hot mouth, suckling hard, and even as she writhed against him, he cupped her breasts in his large, warm hands, pushing them together and squeezing as he ran his tongue and thumbs over her nipples, caressing them in an unrelenting rhythm that sent wave after wave of pleasure through her body.

She gasped his name, and he slid down her body, one hand lingering on her breast while his other trailed a blazing path against her side until his palm rested lightly between her legs. He kissed her hip, her thigh, then deeper, making her spread her thighs as his finger glided between the wet folds of her body, stroking — lightly at first, then with more pressure, slipping inside her in another kind of rhythm that tore a low moan from her throat.

His fingers pushed deeper, harder, and his mouth pressed hot against the hard nub of her clitoris, making her shake with such intense pleasure that Lyssa thought she’d explode. Her hips moved against his hand and mouth, her moans growing sharper, shorter. Desire built in throbbing waves, and just when she thought she could take no more, he slipped a third finger into her body and scraped his teeth against her.

Lyssa shattered, blind and lost, feeling all the threads of her soul unravel in one moment of pure pleasure.

Even when she came back to herself, it was slow and languid, her entire being focused on those heavy, blissful throbs that continued to wrack her trembling frame. Eddie’s fingers remained inside her body, rubbing her gently, and she tightened her thighs around his hand. He chuckled, making her shiver.

“That was. .” she whispered. “That was. . incredible.”

“Mmm,” he said, his voice so deep it was almost a purr. Lyssa hadn’t known he could make a sound like that, and she wanted to hear it again.

Slowly, with a great deal of reluctance, she tried to pull away from him. He grabbed her hip, holding her still.

“Not yet,” he murmured.

“I want to taste you,” she told him, and his eyes darkened.

Breathless, trembling — her heart pounding with dizzying force — she made him roll over on his back. His body was beautiful. Hard muscle, lean lines. His jaw was rigid, and so was the rest of him.

Lyssa wished she could be patient and explore every inch of his body, but right then, all she wanted was one thing.

His shaft was thick and heavy in her hand, and even before her mouth touched the tip of him, his chest started heaving for air. Sparks flew off his skin, along with a wave of terrible heat that only made her burn hotter for him.

Lyssa stroked him with her tongue, pulling away just enough to blow on his wet skin. He cried out, arching his hips, and she took him in her mouth again, more deeply, sucking hard. She kept her right hand balled in a fist, but her left hand touched the base of his shaft, caressing him with a featherlight touch as she ran her tongue up and down his entire length, again and again.

His hips jerked in rhythm to her tongue and hand, and he sat up, burying his fingers in her hair as she tried to move faster, harder. A groan tore from his throat, sharp pants, and when he said her name in his broken voice, it only excited her more.

Fire raced over his skin, flares of light. Lyssa sucked hard on the very tip of him, and at the same moment, squeezed his shaft in a tight, stroking grip.

Eddie fell back flat and let out a wordless cry as his hips bucked upward. Lyssa felt something wet and hot hit her cheek, but she stayed close as he continued to thrust hard against her hand and lips. She wanted very much to know what it would feel like for him to come inside her body.

When he was finally reduced to little more than a twitch, Lyssa crawled up his side and flopped across his body. She felt slick and hot, and wonderful. Especially when he made a low groaning sound that traveled from his chest into hers.

“Oh, my God,” he said.

Lyssa began to laugh, and Eddie rolled over on his side, making her do the same. He hooked his leg over her hip and slid his strong arm under her arm across her back, hitching her hard against him.

“Twenty-four/seven,” he said, looking into her eyes.

She wasn’t sure what she had expected him to say, but it wasn’t that. “What?”

Eddie kissed her, slow and gentle.

“Twenty-four/seven,” he murmured against her mouth. “I would stick with you. I would look over my shoulder with you. Every day, for the rest of my life.”

Her breath caught. “Wow. I really was good.”

He laughed and buried her against him. Lyssa melted into his embrace, savoring his heat and strength, and his soft, rumbling voice.

“Rest,” he said. “I’ll make sure nothing happens.”

Well,” she mumbled, suddenly shy. “If you’re the something that happens, that’s okay.”

He laughed again, more quietly, and pulled the sleeping bag over their bodies. She knew he didn’t feel the cold, and neither did she, but it felt like a cocoon, a nest, a real bed. . and she liked that.

Twenty-four/seven, she thought, closing her eyes and listening to his heartbeat.

I could love that.

For once, Lyssa did not dream. She didn’t even know she slept until she opened her eyes, and found herself in an entirely different position than the one she’d started in.

She lay on her back, sleeping bag partially tugged down. Eddie was on his side beside her, propped up on his elbow. At first she thought he had been watching her sleep, but his other hand was stroking her right arm. Just his fingertips, light and easy, tracing circles against her crimson scales.

Lyssa’s first instinct was to pull away, but his gaze was thoughtful and soft, and she forced herself to remain still.

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” he said.

“I’m not sure you did,” she replied. “What are you. . thinking?”

He pressed his palm flat against her muscled forearm, and the contrast between human skin and her scales was stark. “I was wondering how this happened.”

She was distracted a moment by the round burn scars on the back of his hand. “I’ve never had an easy time shape-shifting. For some, it’s as simple as breathing. But. . stress. . at the moment of a shift can. . make some aspects permanent.”

Eddie went quiet. “Did this happen when your parents died?”

“Yes,” she whispered, and looked away from him. “I was trying to fight.”

He kissed her shoulder. “At least you tried.”

Something in his voice made her turn back to face him. He was looking at his scarred hand.

Round, dime-sized scars. Dark, slightly ridged on the edges. At least five of them, but some were bunched close together, so it was hard to be certain.

Sorrow filled her, and horror. “Why would anyone do that to you?”

Eddie stilled. . and then slowly, carefully, pulled away from her. Lyssa watched him, recognizing the sudden flatness of his gaze, the tightness of his mouth. How many times had she given him the same look when he asked her questions she didn’t want to answer?

He rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. Lyssa, after a moment, relaxed on her side, cushioning her head on her arm as she watched his jaw flex and his eyes go dark with memory.

“When my mother called. . do you remember that man I mentioned?” Eddie held up his hand. “He did this.”

“No one stopped him?”

“No one knew. I would bandage up my hand and say I hurt it at school. He made me promise not to tell. He said he would. . hurt my mother and sister.”

Lyssa let out her breath. “Does this have to do with the man you killed?”

A grim, bitter smile touched his mouth. “Shoe’s on the other foot now. Next time you don’t want to answer my questions, I’ll remember this moment.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ve never talked about this.”

“It hurts too much.”

“Don’t forget the shame.” Lyssa saw the glitter of unshed tears in his eyes. “I could have. . done things so differently, if I’d just been braver.”

Lyssa’s heart broke for him — and for herself. “I understand.”

He turned his head, finally looking at her — grief in his eyes, such terrible pain. “I know you do.”