White Hot Kiss

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

When I awoke, it was near dawn and the sky beyond the softly rolling canopies still clung to night. The events of the previous day rolled through my mind with startling clarity. My heart rate picked up, but I didn’t move. My body wasn’t the problem—the aches had dulled, and even the throbbing in my face was nothing compared to a few hours ago. It was just that I knew the Wardens would’ve realized I was missing by now. They would’ve started looking for me and for Petr. Zayne...I couldn’t even think of him right now.

Nothing would ever be the same.

The heat of the lean, hard body pressed against mine was a stark reminder of that fact. Roth’s chest rose and fell steadily against my side. Our legs were tangled together. His arm was thrown over my waist. The closeness, as crazy as it was, pushed away everything else that was important. I’d never woken up in the arms of a boy before. When Zayne and I were kids, we’d bunk together, but this...this was so different. Languid warmth started in my toes and traveled up my body at an alarming speed, flaring tightly at each point our bodies met.

I thought of the kiss we’d shared—my first kiss. I was as breathless as I’d be practicing evasive techniques. Considering everything that was happening and had happened already, it seemed like the last thing I should be thinking about.

But it was as automatic as breathing. My lips tingled from the memory. I doubted Roth even thought twice about it, but I had quite a few times since Friday.

I turned my head ever so slightly and sucked in a soft breath.

Roth was on his side, like he’d been before I’d fallen asleep. His face was relaxed, lips parted. I wanted to touch the line of his jaw, the curve of his brow, and I had no idea why. But my fingers tingled with the desire to do so. At rest like this, the harsh edge to his beauty was absent. In that moment, he was what I believed angels might look like.

Then he opened his mouth.

“You shouldn’t look at me that way,” he murmured.

A different kind of heat swamped my cheeks and I cleared my throat. “I’m not looking at you in any way.”

He gave his customary lopsided smile. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“You do?”

An eye opened. The pupils were stretched vertically, and I shivered—not out of fear, but from something else entirely. He reached out, brushing a few strands of hair back from my face. His hand lingered on my cheek, surprisingly gentle compared to what came out of his mouth next. “Just so you know, your virtue isn’t safe with me. So when you look like you want me to devour every inch of your mouth, I will without an ounce of regret. However, I doubt you’ll feel the same afterward.”

“How do you know what I’ll regret?”

The moment those words left my mouth, I knew I probably should’ve kept that comment to myself. Both of Roth’s eyes opened and fixed on me. Then he moved incredibly fast.

Hovering above me, he stared down at me with eyes that were a mosaic of every shade of gold imaginable. “I know a lot.”

“You barely know me.”

“I’ve watched you for a long time, always a few steps behind you. I wasn’t trying to be creepy when I told you that before.” He ran his finger along the hem of the borrowed shirt, his knuckles brushing the swell of my chest. “You know what I saw?”

I blinked slowly. “What?”

He stopped messing with the hem and slid his hand along the curve of my ribs as he bent his head down. His lips moved against my ear. “I saw something in you that you desperately try to hide from everyone. Something that reminded me of myself.”

I drew in a shallow breath, mouth dry.

Roth pressed his lips against my temple, sliding his hand under the edge of the shirt. I jumped when his fingers touched my belly. “You always seemed lonely. Even when you were with your friends, you were lonely.”

My chest spasmed. “And you...you’re lonely?”

“What do you think?” He shifted so that one leg was between mine. “But it doesn’t really matter. I’m not lonely right now. Neither are you.”

I wanted to pursue the conversation, but his hand traveled up my stomach, stopping at the edge of my bra. My body had a mind of its own and it arched against his hand, willing him further without really knowing why. His eyes met mine. There was something hot and calculating about his gaze—feral and predatory.

Roth’s gaze landed on my mouth, and I felt his chest rise sharply against mine. A soft breeze kicked up, stirring the canopies. They rolled noiselessly, revealing the sky. I knew he was going to kiss me then. The intent was in his stare, in the way he lowered his head to mine and parted his lips. I reached up, placing my hand on his cheek. His skin was warm, hotter than mine.

Roth pressed against me and my heart beat crazy fast. Our bodies were nearly flush, pieced together, and his musky, wild scent enveloped me. There was a brief moment when his lower body rocked against mine, and every nerve I had came alive, but then he sighed a sound full of regret and rolled off me.

Rolled right on off me.

Standing beside the lounge, he stretched his arms up over his head, flashing a tantalizing glimpse of his abs and the dragon tattoo. “I’ll get us some coffee. We need to talk.”

There was no chance to respond. He was just gone. Poofed like Cayman had in the hall the night before. What the Hell?

Sitting up, I pressed my palm against my forehead and groaned. I used his absence to gather my wits and calm my chaotic pulse. Five minutes later he returned with two cups of steaming coffee.

I blinked. “That was fast.”

“Being a demon has its benefits. Never have to worry about traffic jams.” He popped open the tab and handed it over. “Be careful. It’s hot.”

I murmured my thanks. “What time is it?”

“A little after five in the morning,” he said. “I’m thinking about skipping school today. You should.”

I smiled wearily. “Yeah. I don’t think school is going to happen.”

“Rebel.”

Saying nothing to that, I took a sip of the coffee. French vanilla? My favorite. Just how closely had Roth been watching?

He sat beside me, stretching out long legs. “Seriously, though, how are you feeling?”

“Better. My face doesn’t hurt as much.” I peeked up, wondering if he’d felt anything before he rolled off me and disappeared into thin air or if he’d just been messing with me. “How does it look?”

Roth’s gaze drifted over me, and I had a feeling he wasn’t really paying attention to the bruises. “It looks better.”

There was another stretch of silence, and I reached for my necklace out of habit.

It wasn’t there.

“My necklace?” Dismay hit me. “Petr ripped it off. I have to—”

“I forgot.” Roth leaned back and reached into his pocket. “I saw it on the ground and grabbed it. The chain is broken.”

I took it from his palm. Squeezing my hand around the ring, I wanted to cry like a fat, angry baby. “Thank you,” I whispered. “This ring...”

“It means a lot.”

I looked up. “It does.”

Roth shook his head. “You don’t know how important it really is.”

The ring seemed to burn against my palm and I looked down, slowly opening my hand. In the blossoming sunlight, the stone looked like it was full of black liquid. I thought back to what Roth had told me about my ring and then I thought about what Petr had said.

I looked up and found Roth watching me. A full minute passed before he spoke. “You must be so lonely.”

“We’re back to that again?”

He frowned. “You live with the very creatures obligated to kill you on sight. One of them tried, and who knows how many more want that same fate for you? You’ve probably spent your entire life wanting to be like them, knowing that you can never be. And the only thing you have to remind you of your real family is a ring that belongs to the only part of you that you refuse to claim. Nothing else, right? No memories. Not even what it felt like for your father to hold you, or a memory of what his voice sounded like.”

I sat back, a dry lump in my throat. The low hum of traffic on the street below muffled the gasp that escaped my tightly pressed lips.

Roth nodded without looking at me. “I’ve tried to imagine what it’s like for you, wanting to belong so desperately and yet knowing you never can.”

“Wow,” I whispered, looking away. “Thanks for the reality check. Are you the demon of downers?”

He looked at me then. “Why were you out in the woods last night?”

The change in subject caught me off guard. “The Alphas were at the house. It’s not good for me to be around when they visit.”

“Ah, the Seraphim—warriors of justice and blah, blah, bullshit.” Roth shook his head, smiling ruefully. “What a nasty lot of bastards, if you ask me.”

“I’m sure they’d say the same thing about you.”

“Of course they would.” He dropped my hand and took a sip of his coffee. A moment passed as he watched a leafy plant sway in the breeze. It looked like a Venus flytrap. “The Seeker, the zombie and the possessed...that sounds like the start of a really bad joke, doesn’t it?”

It did.

“But they all had something in common. You.”

“I figured as much, but I don’t understand why. What does it have to do with the ring or my mother?”

“Hell is looking for you,” he said, rather casually.

“You said that before and I...”

“Didn’t believe me?” When I nodded, he closed his eyes. “I wasn’t lying. Hell only looks for someone when that person has something that interests them. We do like to covet things. I’ve told you that.”

“But I don’t have anything they could want.”

“You do.”

I shifted on the lounge, pushing down the sudden urge to get up and run. “And you? It’s the same reason why you started looking for me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” I placed the half-drunk cup of coffee on the roof and held the ring close to my chest.

He gave me another quick grin. “I’ve told you. I’ve been watching you for months, years really.”

Years? My brain couldn’t wrap itself around that idea.

He returned to staring at the plant. “I found you long ago, way before your most recent birthday, before any of the demons became aware of you. I guess the real question is, what makes you so special that Hell is looking for you? You’re half-demon. So what?”

For some reason, I started to feel lamer than I normally did. “Okay.”

“But—” he held up his hand “—half demons don’t really have any demonic power. They’re just bat-shit crazy. You know, the kids that pull wings off of butterflies and burn down their houses for fun? Usually while they’re still inside the burning house. Not the smartest bunch, but hey, it happens. Not everyone is created equal.”

I pursed my lips. “I don’t think I’m special.”

Roth looked at me again. “But you are. You’re a half demon that is also half Warden. Do you even know what they really are?”

“Well, people call them gargoyles, but—”

“Not what they’re labeled, but how they were created?”

I ran my fingers over the curve of the band. “They were created to fight the Lilin.”

He busted into laughter—deep, amused chuckles.

Embarrassment flooded me. “Then why were they created, smart-ass?”

“Don’t ever let them make you feel like they’re better than you.” Roth shook his head, still smiling. “They aren’t. They aren’t better than any of us.” He laughed again, sounding less amused. “They’re His big-ass mistake, and He gave them a pure soul to make up for it.”

“None of that makes any sense.”

“And it’s not my place to explain it to you. There are so many rules. You know that. Ask your dear adopted dickhead of a father. I doubt he’d tell you the truth, or has ever told you the truth, for that matter.”

“Not like you’re doing a good job of telling me the truth, either.”

“It’s not in my nature to do so.” Setting his cup down, he leaned back on his elbows and peered up at me through dark lashes. “Believe it or not, there are rules that even the Boss follows. Not all of Hell’s children follow them, but there are things I cannot and will not do.”

“Wait. The Boss—do you mean...?”

“The Boss?” he repeated. “Yes. The big one downstairs.”

“Do...do you work for him?”

He flashed another demure smile. “Why, yes, I do.”

Good God, what was I doing wanting him to kiss me earlier?

Roth sighed as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Say you had something I wanted? I can’t just take it from you.”

I shook my head, confused. “Why not? A succubus takes energy without the person knowing.”

“That’s different. The succubus isn’t killing the human. Just tasting their essence, and for the most part, the human doesn’t mind.” He winked. “But I’m old-school. Just like the Boss. Humans have to have their free will and all that nonsense.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in free will?”

“I don’t, but that doesn’t mean the Boss doesn’t.” He shook his head. “Look, we’ve gotten way off topic here. You know that I work for the Boss and that I’m here on a job, so to speak.”

Even though I knew there had to be a reason why Roth popped out of nowhere and started following me, sour disappointment still curdled in my stomach. What was I thinking? That he saw me chowing down on a Big Mac and just had to know me? “I’m your job?”

His dark gaze flickered to mine and held. “Yes.”

Slowly nodding, I let out a low breath. “Why?”

“I’m here to keep you safe from those who are looking for you. And by those, I mean demons a lot bigger and badder than what you normally deal with.”

I stared at him so long that I think my eyes crossed, and then I burst into laughter. So hard, tears tracked down my face, blurring his scowl.

“Why are you laughing?” he demanded. “It better not be because you doubt my ability to keep your ass—a very lovely ass, by the way—safe. Because I think I’ve proved that I can.”

“It’s not that. It’s just that you’re a demon.”

His expression turned bland. “Yes. I know I’m a demon. Thanks for the clarification.”

“Demons don’t protect anyone or anything.” I waved my hand dismissively, still chuckling.

“Well, obviously they do, because I’ve saved you multiple times.”

Wiping a few tears off my face, I quieted down. “I know. And I appreciate it. Thank you. But it’s just so...so ass-backward.”

Impatience flashed in his eyes, darkening them until the brown flecks almost disappeared. “Demons will protect just about anything if it’s in their best interest. Or namely, Hell’s best interest.”

“And why would protecting me be in Hell’s best interest?”

Roth’s eyes narrowed. “I was going to try to break this to you gently, but screw it. I told you what your mother could do. I even told you her name.”

My humor dried up right then and there as I stared at him.

A bit of smugness seeped into his face. “And I bet you went through every stage of denial and then some, but Lilith is your mother.”

“You mean a demon named Lilith.” I still refused to believe anything else. It was just some random demon with an unfortunate name.

“No. I mean the demon named Lilith,” he corrected. “She’s your mommy.”

“That’s not possible.” I shook my head. “She’s chained in Hell!”

Now it was Roth’s turn to laugh like a demented seal. “And who started those rumors? The Wardens? Lilith was in Hell, but she broke loose seventeen years and nine months ago, give or take a week or two, which by the way, corresponds directly with what?”

I did the quick math, which put that date right around my birthday. My stomach roiled.

“She went topside, engaged in a little naughty action, got pregnant and popped out a pretty little baby that looked just like her.”

“I look like her?” My head got stuck on the wrong thing.

Roth reached over, picking up a strand of my hair, twisting the pale locks around his long fingers. “She had your coloring from what I remember. I only saw her once before she was taken care of.”

“Taken care of?” I whispered, already knowing the answer.

“When she escaped, the Boss had a pretty good idea of what she was up to. Where he has her now, she’s not getting out of.”

A dull ache pierced my temples. I rubbed at them, never more confused in my life. Should I feel better that Lilith wasn’t dead, being that she was my mother? But being trapped in Hell by Satan himself had to suck and my mom...she was Lilith. I wasn’t sure how to feel, and I knew it was about to get a whole lot worse.

“Have you ever heard of The Lesser Key of Solomon?” he asked.

Lifting my gaze, I shook my head. “No.”

“It’s the real deal—a book cataloging all the demons. It has their incantations, how to summon them, how to tell them apart, ways to trap a demon and all kinds of fun stuff. Lilith can’t be summoned.” He paused, watching me closely. “Neither can her original children.”

My head felt like it was about to explode. “The Lilin?”

When he nodded, my stomach plummeted like my popularity status. “But everything has a loophole, and there’s a really big one concerning the Lilin,” he continued. “In the original Lesser Key, it describes how one can create the Lilin. It’s like a seal that needs to be broken—an incantation.”

“Oh, my God...”

Roth was all serious at this point. “The incantation has these stages, like most spells do. We know they involve spilling the blood of a child of Lilith’s, and the—well, the dead blood of Lilith herself. There’s more—a third or fourth thing, but we don’t know for sure. Whatever those things are, if they’re all completed, then the Lilin will be born again upon Earth.”

My hands fell to my lap. Several moments passed. “And the child. That’s me? There’s no one else?”

He nodded again. “And the whole spilling-of-the-blood thing—well, not to be a downer, but since the Boss doesn’t know if it means a pinprick of your blood or your death, he’s not willing to risk it.”

“Gee. Tell him thanks.”

A smirk graced his lips. “The dead blood...” Leaning over, his agile fingers skipped along my wrist, eliciting a shiver in its wake. He worked my hand open, and the odd ruby-colored ring was exposed. “This stone isn’t a gemstone. It contains the dead blood of Lilith.”

“What? Ew! How do you know?”

“Because Lilith used to wear this ring, and only the child of Lilith can carry her blood without experiencing some seriously ill effects,’” he said, gently closing my fingers around the ring. “So we know where two of the things are, but the rest...it’s in the Key.”

“And where is the Key?”

“Good question.” Roth leaned back, closing his eyes. “Don’t know. And the Boss doesn’t know what the third and fourth things are, but he’s concerned that other demons—Dukes and Princes—may since Lilith was chummy with several of them. Getting out of Hell and having you was on purpose, her last big ‘eff you’ to the Heavens and Hell.”

Wow. That did wonders for a girl’s self-esteem.

“I don’t get it,” I said, curling my hands inward until my nails pressed into the flesh of my palm. “The Lilin are...they are insane and crazy scary, but wouldn’t your Boss want that? It would be Hell on Earth basically.”

Roth choked out a laugh. “No one wins in this case. When humans are stripped of their souls, they waste away and turn into wraiths. They don’t go to Heaven or Hell. And the Boss knows he can’t control the Lilin. He could barely control Lilith.” Roth’s beautiful lips twisted in a wry grin. “And trust me, you haven’t witnessed a pissing contest yet if you haven’t seen Lilith and the Boss go toe-to-toe.”

I tried to wrap my head around this. “So...?”

“The last thing that Hell wants is for the Lilin to be running amok on Earth.” He tapped his fingers on his knee, brows knitted. “And so here I am, making sure your blood doesn’t spill and neither does the blood in the ring while trying to figure out what the other stuff is before that happens. Oh, and there’s the whole issue of trying to discover exactly who wants the Lilin to be reborn. I’m a busy demon.”

My mouth worked, but no words came out. We sat there for several minutes, the only noise the soft tapping of his fingers and the cars below. Mind. Blown. My mother was the Lilith. I was too tired to deny the truth to that. Mommy dearest apparently conceived me as a way to give everyone the middle finger. Blood spilling didn’t sound fun, no matter which way you looked at it.

“Why now?” I asked.

“It’s the timing of your birth. Supposedly the incantation can only work after you turn seventeen.” He paused. “The Boss wasn’t sure if Lilith had been successful in the sense that you...”

I stared at him, horrified when I realized what he was getting at. “That I wasn’t killed once...” I swallowed, thinking of what Petr had said. “Once the Wardens found me?”

Roth nodded. “No one knew where Lilith had gone or where you’d been born. The world’s a pretty big place. I’d found you before, but your birthday was still far off. When the Boss knew we were months away from your birthday, he sent me up again to see if you were still...uh, well, yeah.”

“Alive,” I whispered.

He plowed on. “When I reported back, the Boss ordered me to keep an eye on you. See, the Boss and the demons that Lilith hung with aren’t the only ones who’ve heard of the incantation. Others have, as well, and they see you as a risk. They know the Alphas will obliterate every demon topside if the Lilin are reborn. They want to take you out—the Seeker, the zombie and the possessed human.”

“So some demons may want me to raise the Lilin and others want to kill me because—” And it struck me then, with the force of a cement brick. Ice froze my veins just as a hot rush of betrayal swept through me like a rising tide. “Abbot has to know this.”

Roth said nothing.

I swallowed, but the lump in my throat refused to budge. “He must have known this whole entire time. I mean, there’s no way. The Alphas...and that’s why Petr tried to kill me. It’s probably why he and his father have always hated me, because of what I’m linked to.”

In the looming silence, tears burned my eyes. I clenched my fists until my knuckles ached, refusing to let them fall. At no point had Abbot believed that I deserved to know the truth about what I was, what I could become a part of. And if Zayne knew, I didn’t think I could ever get over that.

“Layla...”

Roth said my name so softly that I had to look at him, and when I did, our gazes locked. Part of me wondered at that very moment what he saw when he looked at me like that—like he wasn’t exactly sure what I was or what he was really even doing here. And this had to be confusing for him. He was a demon, after all. I also wondered why I even cared, but the last thing I wanted to be seen as was a girl on the verge of tears. Which I was.

Sucking in a shrill breath, I eased my fingers open, and the ring bounced around my loose fist. Because I had no other place to put it, I slipped it onto my right ring finger. Part of me expected the action to spark Armageddon, but nothing happened. Not even a weird sensation or a shiver.

How anticlimactic.

Slowly but surely, my brain started to turn everything over. It probably took longer than necessary, but I was proud to know that my eyes were dry even though my throat felt raw. “We need to find that Key.”

“We do. Knowing what’s needed in the incantation gives us a fighting chance. I have some leads.” He paused, and I could feel his stare on me again. “You can’t tell the Wardens about any of this.”

I barked out a short laugh. “I don’t even know how I’m supposed to go home. Once they find out what I did to Petr—”

“They will never know.” Roth caught the edge of my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were a furious shade of amber. “Because you will not tell them what really happened.”

“But—”

“You will tell them part of the truth,” he said. “Petr attacked you. You defended yourself, but it was me who killed him. You will not mention taking his soul.”

Stunned, I stared at him. “But they’ll come after you.”

Roth chuckled deeply. “Let them try.”

I pulled away and stood, unable to sit any longer. Smoothing my hands over what I was sure was a tangled mess of hair, I started to pace between a potted apple tree and something that resembled a lilac bush that hadn’t bloomed. “I’m not telling the Wardens that you killed Petr.”

His lips slipped into a scowl. “I can take care of myself. I’m rather hard to find when I don’t want to be and even harder to kill.”

“I get that, but no. I’ll tell them it was a demon, but not you. I’m not giving them your name.” Once those words left my tongue, my conviction was cemented.

Roth stared at me, obviously bewildered. “I know I’m telling you to lie about the whole soul thing, but that makes sense. They’d kill you. But you’re willing to lie about me? You do realize what that means?”

“Of course,” I snapped, tucking my hair back. Not telling them about Roth was a betrayal. It could even be seen as me taking sides, and if the Wardens ever found out that I knew who killed Petr and hid the truth, I was as good as dead.

“I think you like me,” Roth said suddenly.

I stopped pacing and my heart did a funny little jump. “What? No.”

He tilted his head to the side, his lips spreading into a teasing grin. “The way you lie to yourself is sort of cute.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Hmm...” He sat up, eyes glimmering with mirth. “You wanted me to kiss you earlier.”

Heat flooded my cheeks. “No. I did not.”

“You’re right. You wanted me to do much, much more.”

Now that heat was spreading elsewhere. “You’re insane. I don’t want that—you.” The words sounded lame to my own ears. “You saved my life. Sending the Wardens after you isn’t a way to repay that.” There. That sounded better.

Roth chuckled. “Okay.”

“Don’t ‘okay’ me.” I took a deep breath.

“Okay.”

I shot him a glare.

“What?” he said innocently. Then he got all serious-faced again. “What are you going to do?”

Glancing up at the overcast sky, I shook my head. Besides the obvious, which was finding out where the Key was and staying away from the demon who wanted to use me as part of a bizarre incantation, I assumed he meant with the home situation.

“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted, my voice a tiny whisper. “I can’t hide from them forever. And as long as they don’t know about the soul thing, I should be okay. Zayne—”

“Zayne?” Roth was frowning again. “The big, blond oaf?”

“I don’t think he can be categorized as an oaf,” I said drily. “How do you— Never mind. Watching me. Got it.”

“You can’t trust them. You may be close with Stony and crew, but they have to know what you are. You’re not safe there.” He ran the tips of his fingers along the cushion beside him, drawing my attention. Hadn’t he touched me like that last night? I shivered and looked away. “If you go home, Layla, you’re going to have to pretend you don’t know any different.”

“I can’t believe it,” I said, and when he sent me a look, I shook my head. “Zayne—he couldn’t have known. He...”

“He’s a Warden, Layla. His loyalty—”

“No. You don’t understand. I’m not naive or stupid, but I know Zayne wouldn’t have kept something like this from me.”

“Why? Because you care for him?”

I was about to ask how he knew that, but then I remembered Bambi had been chilling about the tree house. “Of course I care about Zayne. He’s the only one who’s ever really known me. I can be myself around him and...” I trailed off, because the falsity of what I was saying sank in. I really couldn’t be what I truly was with Zayne, either. “Anyway, he would’ve told me the truth.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Because he cares about you, too?”

“He does, but not in the way I’m sure you’re insinuating.”

“Actually, he does like you.” When I frowned, he laughed. “And I do mean like you, like you.”

I scoffed. “How would you know? You—”

“Don’t know Stony? You’re right, but you forget that I did watch you for some time. I’ve seen you around him, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Sure, a relationship between you two is as hopeless as the debt problem facing—”

“Jeez, okay. I know that.” I sighed.

“But it doesn’t stop someone from wanting another person they can never have.” His gaze turned acute. “Even if Stony doesn’t know the truth, and you trust him with your life and blah, blah, you can’t tell him anything.”

A big, heavy ball of dread settled in my stomach.

“Layla?”

I nodded. “I’m not going to tell them.”

“Good,” he said, standing. He smiled, but I couldn’t bring myself to return the gesture. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d just sealed my fate.