Whispers in the Dark

CHAPTER 28

NATHAN slid into the SUV beside Shea and instantly pulled her close to his body. Not resisting, she turned just enough that she could curl into his side and rest her cheek on his shoulder.

He softly kissed her brow. “Tired?”

She nodded.

“How’s your shoulder feeling?”

“It was just a little cut. It doesn’t hurt at all. Barely enough to worry over putting a Band-Aid on.”

The driver’s door opened and Sam got in, glancing in the rearview mirror as he keyed the ignition.

“How far to the safe house?” Nathan asked.

Sam leveled a stare at him. “We’re taking you home.”

Shea raised her head in confusion. Nathan stiffened beside her and shook his head in denial.

Sam held up his hand. “Before you start arguing, this isn’t negotiable. Van and I discussed this before you left Crescent City. We flew you here so that anyone monitoring flights out wouldn’t be led to our back door. It’s not the most expedient route home, but we’re more concerned with no one dogging our steps. I know you didn’t want to bring this to our doorstep, but we built that compound for a reason. We need to avail ourselves of the resources there, not be holed up in some damn safe house with our balls flapping in the wind.”

“Nice of him to let me know,” Nathan muttered.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “And you’ve been so cooperative so far? I told Van to do whatever the hell he had to do to get your asses on that plane. If you want to be pissed at someone, be pissed at me.”

Shea stared anxiously at Nathan. She hadn’t even realized she was squeezing his hand with bloodless fingers until he gently pried them away and then kissed each tip.

I don’t want you to worry, baby. Trust me. If you trust no one else, trust me and believe that I’ll keep you safe. What Sam says makes sense. I trust them with my life. With yours.

She leaned forward, touching her forehead to his shoulder.

It’s not just me I worry about. Or Grace even. I believe that you’ll protect me. That your family, your organization, will try to help Grace—and me. But what of your family? You didn’t want to bring me to them. You’re worried for them. Nothing has changed. If anything, things are more dangerous now. I never wanted to drag others into this mess that Grace and I are in. We just want to be…normal. Free. Free to live a normal life where we can see each other. Laugh and visit together. Be sisters.

How can I feel relief that I’ll be safe when others are risking danger to themselves to ensure that Grace and I are protected?

“That must be one long-ass conversation,” Garrett said.

Shea jerked around guiltily and caught Garrett staring at her and Nathan in avid interest. He’d known that they were communicating telepathically. She watched closely for his reaction but all she saw was curiosity.

“Are you two finished and can we get on the road now?” Sam drawled.

“Yes,” Nathan said.

“No,” Shea said at the exact same time.

“We’ll go with yes,” Garrett muttered and motioned for Sam to drive.

Shea’s lips tightened in irritation, but Nathan put a finger to her jaw and gently turned her back so she faced him.

“Listen to me,” he said in a low voice.

No, please, she begged. Not out loud. I don’t want them to overhear.

His expression softened and he trailed one finger down the side of her cheek. I want you with me. I want you to meet my family. You have to know that’s got to happen at some point. You’re important to me, Shea. Not just some job. I trust my brothers and I know damn well they’d never do anything that would place our family in danger. And Sam’s right. We need the KGI resources. Offense, not defense, remember?

I remember.

Is there some other reason you’re reluctant to go to Tennessee with me?

She hesitated, her chest tightening with an uncomfortable burn.

Shea?

I’m just confused. About us. What are we, Nathan? This whole situation has such a surreal quality. When it was just us, it was easy…

His brow furrowed. What was easy?

To pretend, she offered softly.

His gaze narrowed and a frown marred the line of his mouth. Exactly what are we pretending here?

She tried to ease away and sit back against the seat, but he hauled her over his lap so that her legs dangled in the seat between him and Swanny.

There was nowhere to go. No way to escape his burning gaze. He looked almost angry.

She sighed. It’s easy to pretend that we’re normal. That we have a chance at a normal…relationship. You know, go out on an actual date. You take me out to dinner. We make cutesy conversation. I try not to think about whether you’ll kiss me at the end of the night. I subtly check out your butt when you get up. Those are what normal people do. We don’t have a chance of any of those things. We don’t have a chance at a relationship.

She shook her head and rubbed her palm over her eyes. This whole conversation is ridiculous. I can’t even believe I’m saying this stuff. We don’t even know each other. It’s arrogant of me to even be telling you we don’t have a chance of anything. Who’s to say I’m anything more than an obligation to you?

As soon as she said it, she knew she’d made a huge mistake because suddenly she was being stared down by one big, pissed-off mass of seething male. His fury enveloped her. Oh yeah, he was angry.

He grasped her shoulders and hauled her toward him until there was no space between them and their breaths mingled hotly on her lips. His nostrils flared, and to her shock, he crushed his mouth to hers.

At first she was mortified that he was kissing her in front of Swanny and his brothers, but after only a moment she forgot everything but the feel of his lips against hers. The waves of emotion flooding her mind. He was angry, yes, but he was also frustrated. And worried.

He kissed her like he wanted to remove every bit of doubt crowding her mind. Like he was proving her wrong.

Then he gentled the forceful bruising of his mouth and stroked his tongue over hers, velvety rough and warm. His kiss turned from frustration and punishment to shivery seduction.

He slid his hands up her neck to delve into her hair even as he pulled her closer, impossibly close, until their tongues were tangled, mouths sealed, and her nostrils flared with the effort to take in air.

He stroked again with his tongue and then withdrew only to nip at her bottom lip, sucking it strongly into his mouth. He nibbled and toyed and then slid his tongue sensuously over the area where he’d bitten as if to soothe. When he finally drew away, his breaths were harsh explosions in the confines of the backseat, and his eyes were dark, nearly black, as he stared back at her.

You look at me and tell me you think you’re some goddamn obligation to me. You look at me and tell me that we’re pretending when the connection between us is the most tangible, overpowering thing I’ve ever felt in my life. If this is pretending, then I damn sure don’t want to know what reality is. Do you honest to God think I swooped in for a quick lay and to repay some debt to you and that I’ll go on my merry way once you and your sister are safe again?

She dropped her gaze as heat flooded her cheeks. The fury in his voice, the hurt evident in his tone, shamed her.

Goddamn it, Shea, you mean everything to me. You mean more to me than I have the words to explain. Is it normal? Who gives a damn if it’s normal? Fuck normal. You and I will never be normal people. If normal means I’m not with you, then I never want to be that man.

He nudged her chin upward as he said the last. Tears filled her eyes and then she threw her arms around his neck, holding him so tight as her body shook against his.

Oh God, his words scared her and filled her with such hope and longing all at the same time. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to let herself believe in the fantasy she’d built in her mind.

He tugged her gently away from his neck and kissed her softly on the cheek where it was damp with her tears. He stroked through her hair, all the while staring at her with so much…love…oh God, love.

We may not have the most conventional path that a couple has ever traveled to get together, but you’re here and I’m damn well not letting you go. And I don’t give a damn who knows it.

She leaned her forehead against his again and touched his cheeks with her fingertips. I want that too, Nathan. I swear to you I want it. I’m just so afraid that we’ll never have it. I’m afraid of what I’ve done by dragging you into this mess. I’m afraid of what it’s done for any chance that you and I have of being together.

He lifted the hair from her neck and let the strands run through his fingers as they stared at each other, so close that she could feel the light brush of air when he blinked.

Trust me, Shea. We’ll find a way. I need you to believe that. We aren’t alone. I have my family behind me and I’m in front of you. Always. I’ll protect you with my life because you are my life. If that sounds dramatic, fuck it. You’ve been mine since the day you answered me in my darkest hour. You heard me when no one else did or could. You reached out to me. You saved me. We have an unbreakable bond forged in the fires of hell. I won’t allow anything or anyone to come between us.

I trust you, Nathan.

But do you believe me? Do you really believe everything I’ve just said to you? Damn it, Shea, I’ve just gutted myself in front of you. I’ve made myself as vulnerable as a man can make himself to a woman. It’s the same as if I just handed you a knife and offered you my balls, for God’s sake. And I don’t even give a fuck. Because I have no pride when it comes to you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do or say to make you understand that I love you. I fucking love you. There, I said it. Do you believe me now?

He sounded so pissed off and angry that the admission had been torn from him that she had to battle the smile forming on her lips.

They’d held the link between them for so long now that fatigue and weakness crept over her shoulders until they sagged. She still wasn’t back to full strength and she was tired and worried. Holding the link even for this long was taking a toll, but she battled fiercely, because this was more important than anything else.

Her lips trembled. Her fingers splayed out over his face, and she kissed him gently on the mouth. Panic scuttled around her chest and down into her stomach, but how could she not lay bare her soul? Just as Nathan had just done for her.

I believe you. The words whispered from her mind into his, and she could feel her energy fading as she fought to control the pathway. She took a deep breath and took the plunge. How could she not when he’d done the same? I love you too, Nathan. So much. It scares the hell out of me. I can’t lose you. I don’t want to lose you.

She felt his relief so stark, so powerful that it flooded her on all levels, overwhelming her with the sheer intensity of his emotions.

“Thank God,” he muttered aloud.

She let her head slide down to his shoulder, and she pressed her face into his neck, so weary and exhausted. Weak from maintaining the intense flow of communication between them.

He gathered her in his arms and cursed softly under his breath.

“I forget what it does to you,” he murmured. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” she said drowsily. “I wouldn’t trade those words for anything.”

He pulled a hand through the strands of her hair, gently stroking her as he pulled her even closer into his body. “No,” he said quietly. “Neither would I.”