War in Heaven

20

I think the Kiwis’ home-brewed beer wouldn’t have seemed so bad if the entire world hadn’t tasted of rotten eggs. I’d bartered for the beer using some of the gear we’d got from one of Merle’s caches. Merle had revealed the whereabouts of another cache with ill grace. I’d pointed that it was his own fault that the first one had been compromised. I’d managed to score a laser pistol at the cache but I was still light on weapons. I had no chance of replacing my Mastodon or shoulder laser out here and nobody had an assault shotgun they were willing to give up. I was quite tempted to nick Merle’s Void Eagle but it would have just caused more trouble.

They’d cleaned Rannu up — he hadn’t been strong enough to do it for himself — and then moved him into the cave where I’d been imprisoned. It smelled a lot fresher. Even on this world. When I walked in Rannu was doing press-ups. The stylised biomechanical Kali tattoo on his back seemed to dance with the movement of his muscles.

Rannu looked up and then sat down on his cot. We’d spent quite a long time checking him out, making sure that the scary thing that Nuada had done had completely burned Demiurge out of him. As far as we could tell it had.

‘How are you feeling?’ I asked.

‘Tired, wrung out, very angry.’

I nodded and offered him a beer. He seemed about to refuse but changed his mind and accepted it.

‘What do you remember?’

‘I remember us escaping. I remember attacking the last pa thinking we were attacking Rolleston and his people. I remember being shown the truth…’ He faltered. ‘Then feeling like I was drowning in filth. The next thing I know I’m being resuscitated.’

His wrists and ankles all had open wounds from the manacles. His body was a patchwork of self-inflicted cuts and lesions, some of which had manifested spontaneously. Pagan had said this was the result of a particularly convincing and potent, self-inflicted biofeedback attack.

‘You’ve not left the cave much,’ I said.

Rannu didn’t look up. ‘We did some damage,’ he said. ‘Not just what we did, the things we said.’

‘It wasn’t us, you know that.’

If I could just convince myself of that then I might have a chance of convincing other people.

‘That’s not what they’re going to see, is it?’

‘Well, they’re just going to have to fucking live with it, aren’t they?’

Now Rannu looked up at me. ‘So are we.’

‘Frankly, I think that’s the least of our problems. You need out? You’ve been through the wringer.’

‘How could you even ask that?’ he demanded angrily.

We lapsed into silence, sipping our beers.

‘How come Morag hasn’t been to see me?’ he finally asked.

I thought about how to answer this. I didn’t think he wanted to hear that it was guilt over having written him off. She had been right: it had been a very risky proposition indeed. It only looked good now, seemed to be the right thing to have done, because it had paid off. It could have just as easily fucked everything up. She could explain it to him.

‘They got some stuff from when Nuada or whatever the fuck that thing was burned Demiurge out of you. They also found some stuff in my head. They think they may have a way to hack Demiurge without it noticing. She’s been pretty busy, man. Why don’t you go and see her? You’ve got to get to used to angry Maoris staring at you because you killed their friends.’

He laughed but it was pretty humourless.

I stayed and bullshitted for a while. It didn’t take long to run out of things to say. There was too much mutual guilt floating around in that cave. I made my excuses and left. Not that I had much to do except try and get back to a reasonable degree of fitness and wait for the hackers to let us know what they’d found.

‘That was touching.’ Morag was leaning against the rock wall outside Rannu’s cave.

I turned on her. ‘Okay. I’ve got it. You’re angry at me, you hate me, but don’t take it out on him. Don’t tell him what you said, just deal with your own fucking guilt and go and see him,’ I told her quietly. I didn’t want Rannu to hear.

‘Pagan wants to see everyone.’

‘Fine. We talk in there with Rannu.’

She shook her head. ‘Dinas Emrys.’

‘Fucking whatever, but he can bring his staff here. I’ll tell the others. Why don’t you go in and see him?’

She glared at me but turned towards Rannu’s cave. I grabbed her by the arm.

‘When are we going to talk?’

‘Don’t fucking touch me!’ It was loud enough that heads turned in our direction.

‘Morag? You okay?’ Rannu asked from inside the cave. Morag shook me off.

‘Your touch fucking sickens me.’

Rannu was at the cave mouth. ‘You okay?’

She turned and hugged him, hiding her face from me. I walked off. The selfish arsehole part of me told me that her hugging Rannu had been for my benefit. I looked up to see Little Henry and Strange watching me intently. Little Henry had been avoiding me since I’d killed his whanau brother; now he was walking towards me. Strange remained still and just stared at me.

‘Pagan wants to see us all in Rannu’s room,’ I said when he was close enough.

‘The last of the supplies from the heist are in,’ he told me, ignoring what I’d said. The short guy with the bowler hat had been the warmest and most approachable of the whanau; now there was no trace of his previous warmth or friendliness.

‘Okay,’ I said. ‘Surely you guys are handling the distribution?’

‘It wasn’t food or ammo. Mother said you should see this.’

‘Can’t you just tell me?’ I asked, looking at him and then Strange suspiciously.

‘Trust me. You’ll want to see this.’

I was reasonably sure I could handle Big Henry and Strange if it got nasty. They led me out of the pa, through tunnels and into a cave used as a garage because it connected to some of the larger tunnels used as a road system. Ground lights illuminated the battered civilian cargo lorry.

The modular cargo container on the back of the truck was freshly painted and I suspected it had come off the back of one of the vehicles we’d hijacked. Big Henry went to the back of the container and opened the double doors. Glancing at him and Strange, I moved around and looked in.

‘Oh,’ I said.

‘We thought you’d want to see,’ Big Henry said coldly. Strange was swaying back and forth as if in anticipation.

Up close they looked less like biotech and more like human technology made from metal and composite. The exo-armour, however, reminded me of large metal Berserks made symmetrical. The tips of tentacles protruded from their backs on either side of the flight systems. I suspected they were made of some nanotube-like material. They looked sleek, predatory and violent. There was a hint of alien about them, but in a human battle line they could pass as human tech, though I suspect they would give veterans pause because of their resemblance to Them. They were fully armed and spare ammunition was secured in a cargo net at the back of the container. There were eight of the suits of armour.

‘They were in the last truck. Soloso has no use for them and they would just give him away if they were found,’ Big Henry told me. I had visions of using them to infiltrate the Citadel. ‘Go ahead, have a look.’

I turned to look at Big Henry in the cave’s shadowed half-light.

‘I hope you’re not fucking around,’ I told him.

‘Look, I know who’s to blame. That doesn’t mean I have to like looking at you. Besides, what are we going to do? Lock you in the container? A bit fucking childish and I’m pretty sure a man of your initiative and training could break out of there.’

I watched him for a while trying to work out what was happening here. Strange was just looking between the two of us, still swaying and breathing funny. Like she was aroused. Idiot curiosity got the better of me and I climbed up into the container.

‘How’d you open it up?’ I asked as I examined the first suit, the one closest to the door.

‘We don’t know; nobody’s been able to do it yet,’ Big Henry told me. I touched the centre chest plate. The armour split and then slid apart leaving strands of a thick viscous lubricant that looked like a bodily fluid strung between the two panels.

‘Oh.’ Big Henry sounded genuinely surprised.

Inside it looked like black meat, a Themtech version of human innards. I made a disgusted noise. It was obvious that a human was supposed to climb in there and join with the armour. It was also obvious that the armour was alive.

‘Demiurge?’ I asked.

Big Henry shrugged. Not an encouraging response.

‘There are no transmissions and no locators that we can tell,’ he said.

‘Worth getting Pagan or Tailgunner to check that out again,’ I said and turned around to jump out of the rear of the container.

The sickle fish-hooked me in mid-air. I tasted metal in my mouth and then my momentum tore the side of my mouth open, pulling my head back. I landed painfully on my back on the stone, my mouth full of blood. Big Henry was on me, his face a mask of bestial anger as he raised a club above his head. I kicked up from the ground catching him in the face, sending him flying out of my view.

A massive hand grabbed me by the front of my inertial armour and lifted me easily to my feet. I found myself face to face with Soloso in his finery of rags. It was a hit. They’d called in external help. I didn’t need this. Except Soloso looked furious. One-handed he threw me across the cave, slamming me painfully into the wall.

I didn’t even have time to slide to the ground before Strange was on me, slashing at me with her curved blades. I nutted her with every bit of strength I could muster. She staggered back as her nose exploded.

Fuck this. The three of them were closing on me. I extended my blades, though the ones on my right hand were still much shorter than those on my left.

‘I’m going to kill all three of you,’ I told them. Or that was what I meant to tell them. It was actually more a case of me gargling and spitting out blood as I failed to talk. My newly bisected cheek flapped around. It really hurt.

‘You killed them!’ Soloso screamed at me. This surprised me. He was genuinely angry.

‘Who?’ I asked, sort of, while drooling blood down myself.

‘The Puppet Show!’ he howled. The calm contained hard man I’d met in Moa City was gone now. This was a deeply emotional man. Admittedly it was a deeply emotional man holding a bloody sickle and wanting to cause me harm.

Then it hit me. I’d been an idiot. I’d been so worried about what my betrayal had done to the people here, I hadn’t considered that I’d implicated the Puppet Show, and unlike us the Puppet Show wasn’t exactly mobile.

‘Those three beautiful women! You destroyed them! Do you know they killed themselves rather than let the Squads put the Black Wave into their systems!’

The big man was much more upset than he was angry. Big Henry and Strange were casting uneasy glances at him and each other. Another four lives I’d fucked. More if they’d gone after the entire gang.

I just stared at him, not sure what to do. One thing that doesn’t go down well with vocational criminals is betrayal, particularly if high-ranking people go down as a result of it. I didn’t think that was Soloso’s problem. The guy had obviously not processed his grief. My blades slid back up into my arm.

‘I’m sorry, man,’ I gurgled at him.

I couldn’t fight them. They were the victims here and I’d had a hand in their victimisation. More than anything this drove home the warnings I’d been given about operating in the field with Morag. This drove home how selfish my feelings for her were. I’d been prepared to flush a lot of lives down the toilet. The people of Earth may have been an abstract. This huge and dangerous man sobbing in a way I knew made the muscles round the plastic in your eyes hurt wasn’t an abstract.

Soloso sat down hard. All the fight had gone from him. The sickle clattered to the stone and he held his face in his hands as he sobbed. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I don’t think that Strange or Big Henry knew either. I spat out some blood so I could try and talk.

‘Shall we leave it at that?’ I asked.

Big Henry looked at Strange. She nodded. I sat cross-legged in front of Soloso.

‘I’m really sorry, man,’ I told him earnestly through a mouthful of blood. He just sobbed harder. Finally he looked up at me.

‘They… they…’ He swallowed hard. Snot was running down his face. ‘They were incandescent,’ he finally managed.

I had nothing. I just nodded like I had the slightest idea what he was talking about. He leaned forward and I thought he was trying to kill me again. Instead he just hugged me and started crying harder. That’s the thing with the truly hard: some of them can be very sentimental.

Tailgunner and Mother ran into the cave. Tailgunner took one look at Strange’s broken nose. Strange at least had the courtesy to look guilty. The big hacker turned on me.

‘I told you…’ He trailed off as he saw Soloso’s massive form hugging me and sobbing. I looked up at him as I bled onto Soloso’s arm. Even Mother looked surprised.

She turned on Strange and Big Henry. ‘No more of this, okay? I mean it. We have enough problems.’

Strange was looking at her feet like a naughty child being scolded. Big Henry was staring back at her defiantly.

‘You would never-’ he started.

‘That’s enough!’ Tailgunner snapped.

‘We’re not letting this lie. We are going after those responsible, but I’m not going to settle for murdering the weapon. Do you understand me, Henry?’ said Mother. Big Henry didn’t answer.

‘You think you’re the only one grieving?’ Tailgunner demanded. The impact of his question was somewhat spoiled by Soloso sobbing all the harder. I patted his arm.

‘I mean it, Henry. No more. This is what they want to happen with these tactics. You do their work when you go after him,’ Mother said. Big Henry, with a final angry glare at me, nodded.

‘Pagan wants to see everyone in Rannu’s cave,’ Tailgunner told us. I nodded, wondering how I was going to disentangle myself from Soloso.

Mudge was heading towards Rannu’s cave. He changed his course to intercept me.

‘Does a day go by when you don’t get your arse kicked?’

I tried to tell him to fuck off but I just ended up spitting blood all over myself so had to settle for giving him the finger. Offensive or not, I could tell that Mudge wasn’t his old self.

In Rannu’s cave I saw Morag look up at my bloodied form and just shake her head.

‘You’ll have a smile like me soon,’ Merle said, grinning viciously. Not that he had much of a choice these days. I had to settle for giving him the finger as well.

‘Merle, look after the wound,’ Cat told her brother.

‘Fuck that.’

‘Don’t be an arsehole.’

‘Later,’ I tried to say but just ended up gargling and bleeding all over myself.

Pagan was already tranced in. There were a number of plugs on the ground. I picked one up and plugged it into one of my jacks.

‘Christ, Pagan, why does it always have to be so cold here?’ I asked. Or rather I thought, and my icon, who hadn’t just had its cheek torn open, asked. We were standing in some kind of great stone hall. One wall was missing and instead there was a large balcony open to the night sky. It was a welcome sight.

‘Sorry,’ Pagan said. The flames in a fire pit crackled and leaped as a wave of heat swept out of it. I was beginning to like it here. In the real world everything was pain and air that smelled of rotten eggs. I remembered how easy it had been to lose myself in the sense booths.

The others started to appear as Pagan passed me a stone bottle full of fake whisky. Normally I considered this sort of thing pointless, but he’d almost managed to program the taste of good whisky and at least it didn’t taste of greasy farts in here.

I had appeared near a decoratively carved, sturdy wooden table. On the table were two travel-stained, patched and ancient-looking cloaks.

‘This what was in my head?’ I asked when everyone was here.

‘Sort of, the components were,’ Pagan said.

He still didn’t seem comfortable with me. Couldn’t say I blamed him. I hadn’t ruled out beating the shit out of him yet. Still, I’d probably end up losing that fight as well.

‘Whatever they put in your head, it was well hidden. We couldn’t find it. It seems that Nuada needed to expose you to Demiurge.’

‘And they did that when they used the sense booth on you,’ Morag as Black Annis said. Where I betrayed everything for you, I thought. This explained the dreams of plains of black glass and the dark burning sun.

‘Nuada’s program could hide from Demiurge?’ I asked.

‘Which means you can hack Demiurge?’ Tailgunner asked.

‘Yes. More to the point, we can hack Demiurge without being noticed,’ Pagan said. The atmosphere in the virtual construct lightened. This was good news. This was a chance. There was a sense of relief, a relaxing of tension. Hope.

‘Can we fight Demiurge?’ Mother asked.

‘We can’t, not with our resources. But a data raid’s not out of the question and, more to the point, if they don’t know we’ve been there then they don’t know they’ve been compromised.’

‘Surely you can do that from any system in Lalande?’ Cat asked. She had a new icon that looked just like her. It was Morag’s work. Merle had a new one as well. Tailgunner had presumably designed the whanau ’s high-quality icons.

‘Yes, if we just want to creep around and look at non-vital info,’ Annis said, her voice like grinding stones. ‘All the useful stuff is kept in isolated systems. They have learned from our mistakes.’

‘So they think they have an unassailable, completely secure system, but all the juicy stuff they still hold on an isolated system. And I thought I was paranoid,’ Mudge said.

‘You’re not paranoid; everyone hates you,’ I told him.

He brightened up. ‘Thank goodness for that.’

‘It’s SOP, good tradecraft. They’ve got no reason to stop using things that have worked for them in the past,’ Salem said.

‘Particularly when God demonstrated just how vulnerable non-isolated systems were,’ Pagan added.

‘So we’re right back to square one?’ Mother asked.

‘Where are these systems?’ said Rannu.

‘I’m guessing the fleet flagship will have one,’ Pagan told him.

‘Not going to happen,’ I said.

‘Or the Citadel,’ Annis told us. A lot of virtual air was sucked past virtual teeth.

‘Do we have a valid plan?’ Cat asked.

‘Kind of your job, but I think I can get us in, sort of. I just can’t figure a way out,’ Annis said.

‘Even if you do, so what?’ Mother asked. ‘How much use to you is it? Surely you’re stuck here until the war ends, and before then all of Rolleston and Cronin’s forces are going to pull out.’

‘It could help liberate Lalande 2,’ Tailgunner said.

‘And if Earth loses, then they just come back,’ Mother answered.

‘It’s more complicated than that,’ Pagan said. ‘We use what we know too soon and our advantage is gone as they’ll know that Demiurge is compromised and change their plans accordingly.’

It was an old military intelligence paradox.

‘Let’s see your in,’ Mother asked. Scrolls appeared in front of us and unrolled glyphs on the scrolls lit up and disappeared as information was transferred into our internal memories. I reviewed the data.

‘That doesn’t get us in; that gets us close, and then we die in a hail of vastly superior firepower,’ I said. It was good as far as it went but it was messy. Annis still looked like I’d slapped her.

‘He’s right,’ Rannu said.

‘It’s worth it if we get their entire strategy,’ Annis said.

‘But what use is it to you if you can’t get out?’ Mother asked.

‘Either we have to get into orbit undetected-’ Annis began.

‘Not going to happen,’ Mother countered, but I noticed that Salem looked like he had something to say.

‘We can do it with a tight beam broadcast from the surface,’ Pagan said.

‘Only on a clear enough day,’ Salem said. ‘There may however be a way to get you into orbit undetected. I would like some time to look into it.’

‘Can we use their exo-armour to infiltrate?’ I asked.

Pagan and Annis were shaking their heads. Presumably Tailgunner or Mother had told them about Soloso’s final delivery.

‘You can’t bluff them because the moment you don’t respond to hails they know something’s up, and they’ll know that eight of their exo-armours are missing and who has them. And we can’t reliably use them for a stealthy approach,’ Annis told us. Having looked at her plan I already knew she was right.

‘We’re also assuming that we don’t climb into them and Demiurge takes the suits over,’ Rannu said before turning to Pagan. ‘Can you give them a proper look over?’ Pagan nodded.

‘Can’t you hack Demiurge so it thinks the armour is theirs?’ Mudge asked.

‘No, that won’t work either. As soon as we hit them they’ll know we’ve broken Demiurge,’ I said. ‘Shame though, it’s a good idea.’

‘With a clear corridor of fire you can’t get them in with a direct attack?’ Mother asked. I saw Tailgunner glance at Mother. ‘I’m just asking,’ she told him.

It was Cat who shook her head this time. ‘Too far. I don’t fancy their chances of not getting picked out of the sky — even with the added confusion of looking like their machines, and believe me, I’d much rather be in exo-armour.’

‘You haven’t seen the inside of those things,’ I told her. ‘With a bit of tinkering the in is solid if fucking hairy, but we’re dead as soon as we get in, or more likely as soon as we get close. The only advantage we have is surprise. Once that’s gone, it’s over for us. Even if we get in there’s no way we can get out.’

‘Well isn’t that your job, Jakob?’ Annis growled.

‘Yes, but only if there’s an actual solution. We can look at it some more, but we’re not going to piss everyone’s life away.’ Cat and Rannu were nodding in agreement.

‘You know how much they need this info back on Earth — what’s at stake here?’ Annis demanded.

‘Fuck Earth,’ Mother said. Everyone turned to look at her. There were a lot of angry faces. ‘I’m tired of risking my life and watching my friends die for a place I’ve never seen, couldn’t afford to go to and wouldn’t accept me even if I got there. I know it’s important to you people but not at our expense.’

‘Whether you like it or not, Earth’s key, because if Earth falls then the people here in this cave are pretty much the resistance. Maybe with a few scattered groups who won’t have anything like the advantages we do,’ Merle told her, contempt creeping into his tone, or maybe it just lived there.

‘The Citadel’s the base of their ops here, their main manufacturing site. It’s the key. Vicar knew that,’ Annis said angrily.

‘And how does all of us being dead help?’ I demanded.

‘You fucking coward!’ she spat at me.

I saw people’s postures shift. Not nervous, just getting ready for another one of our arguments.

‘Shut up, Morag,’ Mudge told her. He was staring at her angrily.

‘This isn’t the place,’ Cat told her, shaking her head.

‘This, I guess, shows up another problem,’ I said. ‘I’m not trusted in command of the warfare element of Operation Ungentlemanly Warfare.’ There was little in the way of protest. Merle was smiling in a way that made me want to hit him. ‘Cat, I think it’s better that you take over.’

‘Why? What’d I do?’ She looked surprised.

‘You’ve got experience of command; you’ve not been compromised.’

She obviously didn’t want it. Who would? It was a fucked situation. It also felt like a weight off my shoulders, like I was stepping into lighter gravity. Maybe I was being a coward, but Morag had demonstrated, along with the repeated murder attempts and my total inability to deal with Merle, that I could not lead these people.

The argument was heating up. I understood Morag’s perspective. The exo-armour seemed to be a boon; the two cloaks, if they could hide the hackers from Demiurge, really would be an asset, but there were still many considerations that had to be borne in mind. We couldn’t piss these advantages away by committing suicide.

I watched Annis argue with Merle and Mother. Maybe Morag had become used to doing six impossible things before breakfast. Maybe the extraordinary luck that had seen us through so far had raised her expectations unrealistically, but she was pushing too hard.

‘All of you, shut up!’ Cat said. ‘Everyone calm down. This is getting us nowhere. You’re acting like a bunch of new recruits. Shut up!’ she snapped. Good sergeant voice, I thought, smiling, enjoying it not being me. ‘Okay, we keep looking at this, but until we at least have an out it’s not happening, okay?’ There were muted mutterings but everyone eventually nodded. ‘Until then we help Mother’s people maintain a perimeter and run patrols. Clear? I also want plans to fuck up their infrastructure without committing suicide or unnecessary collateral damage. Any fucking personal problem, sort it out in your own time. Clear?’

More nods. She was purposely talking to us like regular army, conventional soldiers, letting us know what she thought of our behaviour. She had a point.

‘Merle, no fucking around. We get out of here, you look after Jakob’s cheek, understood?’

He looked like he was going to argue but finally nodded. He’d be pissed off because he knew that my wound would heal as a result of the bio-nanites in my blood, whereas he was scarred until we got back to Earth. Which seemed unlikely.

‘Now the Kiwis are watching, so let’s see if we can get through the next couple of days without disgracing ourselves, okay?’ Mother and Tailgunner were smiling.

Under Cat we started to resemble a special forces unit a bit more but we were getting nowhere. We were just going through the motions. We’d been lucky to survive our one operation against the Black Squadrons. We didn’t have anything like the resources we needed to do the Citadel and the rest of our options were risky propositions at best, for very little gain.

Soloso had joined us in the pa. He’d also joined the continuing list of people who were avoiding me. Fine, I was starting to get used to my own company again. With somebody else in charge it was starting to feel like the army again. Guard and picket duty, patrolling, I was quickly into the routine. I didn’t even feel guilty when I used my down time to read what I could find. The firestorm had taken out all the books and music I’d had stored in my internal memory, and my trumpet and the skillsofts were still on the Tetsuo Chou

Mudge at least had started talking to me again. His problem had never really been with me. I welcomed his company though we were both getting worried about the diminishing alcohol and drug supplies. As well as being pissed off with Merle, the constant inactivity was getting to him. He was seriously jittery. The day after our briefing in Dinas Emrys, I saw him having a fierce argument with Morag. I’d been tempted to boost my hearing to listen in but you never hear well of yourself.

Morag, when she wasn’t tranced in working on the stuff they’d got out of my head, the eel net and what little they’d learned when Nuada had fried half their systems, was hanging out with Strange. Apparently the girl didn’t speak to anyone but Tailgunner. Now it seemed she was talking to Morag. Maybe they’d team up and properly murder me.

Hanging over our heads like a bladed pendulum on some kind of ancient clock was the knowledge that any day soon Rolleston and his band of merry arseholes were going to attack Earth and there wasn’t a lot we could do about it.

I was in the main cave in the shadow of Apakura. I’d come to find the motionless giant mech somehow comforting. I was stripping down and cleaning my SAW and engaging in a tried and trusted activity of British squaddies. I was trying to work out how to nick something. Merle’s Void Eagle.

I’d heard raised voices and was watching the whanau on one of the ledges high above where I was sitting. They were arguing about something and Strange was hugging Tailgunner fiercely. I didn’t even consider listening in. It wasn’t my business. Why make my life more complicated?

A shadow fell across me. I looked up to see the most complicated of my complications. Morag was holding two beer bottles. It looked surprisingly like a gesture of peace.

‘Only if it doesn’t end up with us screaming at each other,’ I told her.

‘Do you think you’re in any position to dictate terms?’ she asked testily.

‘No, but I can just walk away.’

‘I’ll scatter the pieces of your gun all over the place.’ But she was smiling. I accepted the beer. She sat down next to me. ‘So Mudge came and shouted at me,’ she said conversationally.

I nodded. ‘He’s good at that if he’s on the right aggro mix of chemicals.’

‘He reminded me that it was you who’d been captured, tortured and possessed and that you’d betrayed us because of me. Which was stupid by the way. Sweet but stupid.’

Sweet? Sweet! Fucking sweet! Remain calm.

‘It wouldn’t have made any difference. They were going to possess me and they would have known everything anyway. In fact it probably took them longer to break me. More fun for Rolleston though.’ Which didn’t quite make sense. Rolleston was an evil bastard but it had all been for practical reasons. Now he seemed to like causing pain.

Morag didn’t say anything for a while. We both drank our beer and I rapidly reassembled my SAW. She may have been joking but I didn’t fancy wading though pools of acid water looking for components to what was my last remaining weapon of choice.

‘I get that you didn’t want to abandon me, but here’s the thing. When you were possessed you seemed so honest. You seemed to be able to say all the horrible things that we think deep down but never say. Well maybe Mudge does.’

‘You think I believed anything I said?’ I was appalled that she would think that.

‘Not consciously. But you — it — was right. I’ve been a victim most of my life.’

‘You don’t get a choice when you’re that young.’

This was where you really began to feel an ache in your chest talking to Morag, coolly discussing the atrocity that her life had been. I remembered her telling me she would scar herself before ending up a military whore. I turned to look at her. She wouldn’t face me. Emotion was etched on her face, in eyes that couldn’t cry any more.

‘Look at me,’ I said. She didn’t move. I gently took her chin in my hand. She didn’t flinch away from me. I turned her head to look at me. I could see how much this was costing her. More vulnerability to the guy who’d caused her so much pain already. ‘You’re not a victim, never were; you were just waiting for an opportunity, that’s all. If it hadn’t been this, and I sort of wish it hadn’t, then it would’ve been something else.’

She swallowed and nodded. I prayed that she believed me. She looked away.

‘Which just leaves the Grey Lady,’ she said quietly. It was going to come up sooner or later. I still felt cold when she said it.

‘Morag… I… I’ve got nothing to explain or justify. I thought you were dead.’ I think subconsciously I’d searched for the absolute worst thing I could’ve said in the circumstances and arrived at that.

‘And that made it all right?’ she hissed. Angry, but I was grateful that she wasn’t shouting. ‘Tell me, was my corpse still on the floor?’

‘Look, I didn’t want to-’

‘Did she rape you?’ She was still angry but I’m not sure at whom.

‘What? No!’

‘Then why?’ she demanded.

‘I’ve told you. I’ve got no answers. I don’t expect you to forgive me-’

‘I want an answer. Help me understand why you’d fuck a cold-blooded murderer after you thought I was dead.’

‘I was really and truly fucked up. Nothing mattered. I wanted to be close to someone. Even if it was a lie because I was all alone.’ I think it was the closest thing to an explanation I could find. She looked away from me and hugged her knees to herself. I just stared into my bottle.

‘God, I wish you weren’t here,’ she said, finally looking at me.

‘Well I did try and retire to the Highlands.’

She looked like she was going to slap me. Then she laughed. ‘Cheeky bastard.’ Then serious again: ‘What are we going to do? We just keep tearing at each other.’

‘Pretty extreme circumstances. If we get out of this, it won’t be like this. I prom-’

‘Don’t make promises. You can’t keep them.’ She looked away from me again and I concentrated on my beer and tried not to say anything else stupid.

‘Look, you owe me nothing,’ I finally said. She looked at me again. I think she would have had tears in her eyes if they hadn’t been plastic now. ‘You decide. All I know is I want you so much and for ever, but we have to be able to work together because we’re putting the others at risk now. You decide.’

‘All on me, is it?’ she asked and sniffed. ‘Typical.’

‘That’s not what I mean. I mean what I want is us to be together, but you’re the wronged party so it’s up to you.’

She gazed at me for a while and then stood up.

‘Before you go, you have to stop trying to push everyone so hard,’ I said.

She didn’t look at me but she nodded. ‘I know. Cat’s spoken to me.’

‘What are you doing?’

She turned to look down at me.

‘Think about how much it has cost to get here. Buck, Gibby, Balor, Vicar, Dog Face, countless other people whose names we’ll never know, some of whom we’ve killed. It has to be for something, and we’re so close.’ I heard the resolve, the steel in her voice. I couldn’t tell her that more often than not it didn’t matter, and a lot of people died for very little.

‘I don’t think you realise how much we’ve punched above our weight,’ I told her instead.

‘We still have to make it mean something,’ she said.

I had nothing for her. I think we had raised her expectations too high. She turned to walk away but stopped.

‘Go and see Mudge,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘He’s really hurting.’

Showering. I waited until I knew Merle was showering and nicked his Void Eagle, spare clips and his holster. I also stole all the booze he had.

I found Mudge on his own, humming to himself in one of the caves. It was dark. The only illumination was the glowing cherry of his spliff. I was looking at him in the green of night vision. He was oblivious to me. I suspected that he was listening to music on his internal systems. I’d have to see if he had anything worth copying, maybe more of that Cash guy.

‘Mudge?’ I shouted. There was a moment of shock and then he was reaching for his Sig before he realised it was me.

‘What?’ he demanded suspiciously, looking around the cave as if he’d just discovered it anew.

‘Do you want to talk about your feelings?’

He stared at me, appalled. ‘No, I really don’t.’

‘Thank fuck for that. I found a bottle of brandy.’

He immediately brightened up. ‘Cool. Hey, is that Merle’s?’

I just grinned.

‘I just felt stupid, you know. I fell too far, too fast and for the bad boy, the cool guy that Mum warned me about. What a fucking cliche.’

We were both quite drunk now on Merle’s brandy and some of the moonshine that the Kiwis brewed. Morag was right: Mudge was hurting, but he’d cope.

‘Merle’s not cool; he’s a dick.’

‘He is cool. You’re just jealous because he’s harder than you.’ Who wasn’t? ‘Seriously, are you ever going to win a fight?’

‘I won lots of pit fights. I fought three guys up in the Highlands,’ I protested.

‘Yeah, yeah, you won loads of fights when nobody was around.’

‘Hell, you don’t have to split up with him just because he betrayed me and you put a gun to his head,’ I suggested, trying to change the subject. I sort of meant it in a I-just-want-my-mate-to-be-happy kind of way. ‘I mean, Morag’s shot at me and tried to kill me.’

Mudge looked confused. ‘Shooting at you is trying to kill you,’ he pointed out. I nodded sagely. ‘But I don’t really want that kind of relationship, you know,’ he continued. I nodded again. Ideally I didn’t want that kind of relationship either. ‘Are you guys back together?’ he asked.

‘Fucked if I know,’ I said gloomily and helped myself to another swig of the moonshine. I was starting to like the taste of it. Or more likely my taste buds were dead.

‘How are you?’ Mudge finally asked.

I shrugged. ‘Alcohol, denial and drugs will see me through. Concentrate on the job in hand and have nightmares about it for years to come. The usual.’

‘It wasn’t the usual though, was it?’

‘No, no, it really fucking wasn’t. Watching her die, then her being alive again. It’s almost like Rolleston putting two in her head is what I’ve got to look forward to. Like it was a…’

‘Premonition?’ Mudge was looking at me like I was an idiot.

‘I don’t think I could cope with it again.’

‘So walk away. She won’t. She’s hugely overcompensating for something at the moment. She sounds like a fanatic.’

‘She wanted to leave Rannu possessed,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘I don’t get that at all — it doesn’t seem like her. What if I’ve made things worse? Hurt her too much?’

‘Damaged her? That’s your martyr complex kicking in. It’s not all down to you. Other bad things happen.’

I passed the moonshine over to Mudge. He took a long pull on the bottle. ‘Gaaah! This stuff’s horrible,’ he said and then took another long pull.

‘The thing I can’t deal with is what I was saying when I was possessed. I mean, that was me. No doubt about it. I remember saying those things and meaning them. I remember the thoughts. I…’ I trailed off.

I couldn’t explain the possession to myself, couldn’t reconcile it with being me. The thoughts I had had. White had become a deep black. Wanting to do all those horrible things, things that I would have done had I been free.

‘You know that wasn’t you, don’t you?’ Mudge asked, passing the moonshine back.

‘At some level, but my… the reality of the situation, my memories are that it was me. The thoughts I thought… As if everything I’ve done — killing, fighting, hurting, stealing and fucking people over — as if that somehow wasn’t nearly bad enough.’

‘Possessed-you wasn’t that much of a bigger prick than real-you,’ Mudge said, grinning in the dark. I gave him the finger. ‘That’s your problem. You’re not comfortable with who you are. You want to be a nice guy, liked, but we don’t live in that sort of world. Come to terms with who you are; do the best you can but realise that sometimes you have to be a bastard, and if you want to beat the other guy then you’re going to have to be a bigger bastard than him.’

‘That easy, huh?’

‘Nah, those are just words. Seriously, I suggest remaining drunk and stoned until the bad thoughts and memories recede into the distance behind you.’

‘That easy, huh?’

‘Nah, those are just words. Deal in your own way or go under. Same as it ever was.’

‘You’re a huge comfort to me, Mudge. I want you to know that.’

The cave illuminated as Mudge lit another spliff. The flame distorted and exaggerated his features, making him look demonic. The flame disappeared but an afterglow remained.

‘Maybe that’s it. We don’t have anything like the resources and commitment to being a cunt that Rolleston has. How can we win against that?’ I asked.

Mudge shrugged. ‘I’m not sure we have to win. Just fight. Prove that we’re alive, that we were here at this point.’

‘You sound like Balor.’

‘Balor wanted glory; I just want to live my life without slithering around on my belly begging for scraps.’

I nodded at this. It had the sort of drunken logic that sounded brilliant until you woke up in the morning and realised that the world was more complicated than that.

‘So are we finished feeling sorry for ourselves in a dark cave?’ Mudge asked. I nodded. ‘Now that you’re good and drunk you should see if you can get laid.’

It seemed like a good idea for a moment.

‘You going to make up with Merle?’ I asked. Mudge shrugged.

‘You going to let Pagan off the hook?’ he asked.

I shook my head vehemently. ‘No, fuck that. We were supposed to be mates. You’ve no idea what I went through because of that guy!’

‘He thought he was doing the right thing. He realised that there had to be sacrifices. You used to make sacrifices like that all the time.’

‘Bollocks! Every time I tried to come home with everybody. He made a cold, calculating decision to fuck me. He sent me to fucking hell! He’s lucky I don’t kill him. I might do depending on how I’m sleeping when this is over.’

‘Yeah, okay. I don’t have much of a defence for him except he saved our arses in Maw City.’

‘Gentlemen?’

Mudge and I yelled. It may have been more of a scream. The bottle went bouncing, spilling its contents. Both of us were on our feet, sidearms drawn. Salem was standing close to the cave mouth dressed for the cold, pack on his back and holding a walking stick. His arms were spread wide to show he meant no harm.

‘Christ, Salem, are you trying to get shot?’ I demanded.

He frowned at the blasphemy. I was angrier with myself than with him.

‘You shouldn’t be able to do that,’ Mudge said, frowning. He was right. Salem shouldn’t have been able to sneak up on us like that. ‘Drink?’

‘You know I won’t.’

‘Smoke?’ Mudge offered him the spliff he’d just lit.

‘More tempting, but no.’

Mudge nodded and pointed at him with the hand holding the spliff. ‘Oh yeah. You used to smoke this shit and then go out and murder people, didn’t you?’

Salem didn’t answer but he seemed amused.

‘You going?’ I asked.

Salem nodded. ‘Yes, they do not need me at the moment. I believe that they have gone as far as they can. I have just come to say goodbye.’

‘I’m sure we could find things for you to do,’ I told him. Only after I’d said it did I realise how patronising it sounded. Mudge was giving me a look that told me I was being a prat.

‘I will be of more use back in the city. I will teach those who want to fight how to hide from Demiurge, I think. I will also see if I can find a way to help you get information or yourselves off the planet. I have some ideas. I have made provision for contacting Pagan, Cat or Tailgunner if need be.’

‘Why you?’ Mudge asked.

‘Mudge!’ I hissed, but Salem didn’t take offence at Mudge’s abruptness.

‘Because Tailgunner knows me from the neighbourhood. He knew that I’d acted as an exorcist before and I think he understood that I realised Shaitan was real.’

‘You mean Demiurge?’ I asked.

‘Demiurge is an echo, nothing more.’

I stepped forward to shake his hand.

‘Thank you. Really, I don’t have the words. I owe you.’ It sounded inadequate for what this man had done for me.

‘It is the duty of all,’ he said. It could have sounded trite but I knew that he meant it.

‘Even for a sinner like me?’ I asked jokingly.

His face became serious. ‘I have known many men like you, Jakob. God will judge you, nobody else. Not even yourself. He knows what was you and what was not.’

I wondered how much of our conversation he’d heard. Mudge started laughing. I was getting pissed off with his rudeness. I really did owe Salem a lot, maybe everything.

‘Pack it in, Mudge!’ I told him.

‘What? Common sense packaged as religious bollocks?’ he said.

Salem was smiling as well. ‘Mr Mudgie does not offend me. God has a plan, even for him.’

This just started Mudge laughing harder. I had to smile. What the fuck had God been thinking of, making Mudge?

‘What I would say is that you do not have the right to judge Pagan-’ Salem started.

‘Bullshit!’ I immediately felt guilty. It reminded me of our conversation when I had been possessed.

Salem held up a hand as a calming gesture. ‘Please hear me out. If he had not sacrificed you then we would be none the wiser. We would have learned nothing. We may be at a standstill at the moment, but we have learned so much from your imprisonment. I know this sounds harsh, but in the big scheme of things he did the right thing.’

‘Maybe, but it was a fundamental betrayal of trust.’

‘Like you would have volunteered,’ Mudge said, grinning.

I glared at him. ‘I accept that it may have meant progress but you can’t expect the sacrifice to be happy about it.’

‘In some cultures it was an honour,’ Mudge said.

‘Fine. You do it next time,’ I told him angrily.

‘I apologise. I have angered you. It was not my intent. I think that Pagan agonised long and hard about it and feels more guilty than you can imagine.’

‘Good.’ I knew I sounded childish. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I just can’t walk away from this.’

‘I do understand,’ Salem said, nodding sadly.

‘Thank you,’ I said again.

Salem bowed and turned to leave.

‘Hold up,’ Mudge said.

Salem stopped and turned. He was smiling. I think he knew what was coming.

‘You have to tell us,’ Mudge said.

‘Mr Mudgie, I think if I answered that question, regardless of what the answer was, I’d become a lot less interesting than people seem to think I am. Besides, we don’t talk to lensheads.’

Salem turned and walked away to the sound of Mudge’s laughter echoing around the cave.

Mudge and I were trying not to stagger so hard it must have been obvious how drunk we were. There were disapproving looks from Cat and Morag as we tried to reach our cots without falling over. I was going to pay for this.

I glanced up the cave to the ledge where Kopuwai stood in its alcove. I saw that the whanau were deep in conversation with Soloso.

Morag was heading for me. I sensed trouble but I thought it was going to be good trouble. If I was going to get told off for being irresponsible then it meant she still cared. Besides, she had told me to go and talk to Mudge about his feelings. Did she not realise how drunk men have to be for that sort of thing? And it was Mudge I was talking to. What did she think was going to happen?

The guy in the top hat with the ancient-looking long rifle, standing on one of the ledges watching everyone was a bit odd though. Particularly as he hadn’t been there when I’d looked that way a moment ago.

‘Freeze!’ I shouted. He wasn’t moving anyway. ‘Put the rifle down!’ Contradictory instructions.

Moving in on him, laser pistol in a two-handed shooter’s grip, the smartlink putting the cross hairs right across his pale face, I suddenly felt very sober. Mudge was moments behind me, Sig in his hand. Morag had drawn her pistol and was running towards us. Others were beginning to take notice.

Whoever it was had ghosted straight through our pickets, sensors and sentries to appear among us. The weapon he carried looked ancient and was made mainly out of wood. There was some kind of coil wrapped around the barrel, which made me wonder if it was a home-made gauss rifle of some kind. He wore dark work clothes, with some kind of half-length duster/cloak-style garment over the top of them. His skin was extremely pale and he was a lot taller and more slender than most natives of Lalande 2. A flexible tube of a brass-coloured material protruded through the chest area of his clothes and extended to a facemask. The mask seemed to be made of a similar material to the tube, as were the protruding lenses of his cybernetic eyes. They looked home-made but finely crafted.

‘On the ground now!’

‘Drop the gun or we will fire!’

He just watched the commotion as if he was studying us.

‘Don’t shoot!’ Tailgunner came running down from the ledge towards us.

‘Friend of yours?’ Cat demanded as he reached us. The rest of the whanau were not far behind him.

‘Never seen him before in my life,’ Tailgunner said, moving through us to get a better look at the guy.

The infiltrator was just moving his head from side to side as he took us all in. Although he was obviously human, there was something very alien about him. He was observing us as though he’d never seen the like before.

‘So who the fuck is he and what’s he doing here?’ Cat demanded.

‘And how’d he just walk through our guards?’ I asked.

‘I think he’s a Morlock,’ Tailgunner said, staring at him with an expression bordering on wonder.

‘Bullshit, they’re a myth,’ Soloso scoffed as he joined us.

‘What’s a Morlock?’ Morag asked. Mudge opened his mouth to reply. ‘Not you; someone who knows what they’re talking about.’ Mudge shut his mouth again.

I noticed that the strange man had looked at Tailgunner when he’d said the word Morlock.

‘Soloso’s right — they’re an urban myth,’ Big Henry began. I saw that a lot of the Kiwis were nodding but some of the others were holding on to the little wooden or greenstone charms I think they called tikis. There was an air of superstitious fear in the cave. I didn’t blame them. This was a weird guy and it was scary how he’d got in so easily. ‘Supposed to date back to early colonial times, before the war, during the great Lalande 2 mineral rush. When the corps moved in there were rumours that some of the prospectors and freelance surveyors went deep, as deep as they could, to get way from the corps and live free.’

‘How long ago?’ I asked.

‘Ninety, maybe a hundred years ago,’ Big Henry said, forgetting that he wanted to kill me for a moment.

‘What do they live on?’ Morag asked.

‘Story goes they took some of the terraforming gear, maybe some livestock.’

‘Tell the rest of the story,’ Soloso said, grinning.

Big Henry sighed.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘They’re supposed to take people, for eating,’ Soloso said, and then his booming laughter echoed off the cave walls.

‘Maybe that’s what he’s here for,’ Merle said scornfully.

I couldn’t help looking around the cave for others silently surrounding us in preparation for a violent barbecue.

‘So we’ve got a group of humans who’ve lived separately for a hundred years, completely isolated, their own society, their own technology by the looks of it, adapting to a deep environment?’ Pagan asked.

‘I guess so,’ Big Henry said.

‘So are you going to talk to us, mate?’ Mudge called.

‘We could make him talk,’ Merle suggested. Morag gave him a look of contempt.

The strange man pointed at Cat, patted his chest and pointed to one of the cave exits.

‘I think he wants you to go with him,’ Morag said.

‘Maybe it’s a date,’ Mudge suggested.

‘Nobody say anything unless it’s useful,’ Cat said distractedly. That would pretty much render Mudge mute. She addressed the strange man: ‘Okay, we’ll come with you, but we need time to get ready. If this is a trap or you in any way fuck with us, you die first. Understand me?’

The man said nothing.

‘Well, it’s good we got that sorted out,’ Mudge said.

‘Mudge, what’d I say?’ But Cat wasn’t really paying attention to Mudge; she was studying the strange man.

‘What are you doing?’ Merle demanded.

‘Stay here if you want.’

‘I’m coming,’ Morag said.

‘Ladies love pale willowy types,’ Mudge said, nodding sagely. The man turned to stare at him.

‘Amazing. You can irritate people who you probably don’t even share a language with.’ Morag seemed impressed.

‘It’s a gift.’

Painkillers, cybernetic medical support, alien nanites — none of them were helping with my hangover. We’d gone deep, very deep, so deep that the caves were starting to get warmer. Occasionally we would see the distant glow of lava.

The Morlock had a vehicle stashed disturbingly close to the pa. It was open-topped and multi-sectioned, and made of the same brassy material. It ran on thick rubbery tracks but made surprisingly little noise. He’d plugged into the vehicle like we would, but the jack had appeared on a mobile snake-like apparatus from within his clothing. The vehicle reminded me of a centipede in some ways but it was fast through the caves and tunnels. It also had a lot of locked cabinets and sealed crates. Presumably these contained examples of their tech that he did not wish to share. The floor of the strange vehicle was covered in some kind of dark soil. I saw Pagan looking at the soil with interest. I remembered how important soil had been to the inhabitants of the Avenues back in Hull.

The Morlock said nothing to us; he just drove deeper and deeper. Tailgunner, Pagan, Mudge, Morag and I had joined Cat. Merle had been too disgusted to go. Big Henry, I think, was too scared. Soloso had seemed scornful about the whole thing. Under the scorn I thought I detected a degree of fear as well. I think the Morlocks on Lalande 2 were thought of in much the same way that the Twists were back on Earth. Every culture needs a bogeyman, something to point at and be afraid of.

My cheek still ached every time I saw Soloso. He seemed cheerfully unrepentant about fish-hooking me with a sickle. Mother had stayed back because she was in command of the pa.

I don’t know why we were taking so much on trust with this guy, but despite his weirdness I just didn’t get a sense of malevolence. I’d been wrong about a lot of people before, however. Like Pagan. I found myself glaring at him almost subconsciously. He knew it and was avoiding catching my eye. We were all carrying our full combat gear just in case. I was a little worried having all our hackers with us but it wasn’t my problem any more.

‘Pack it in,’ Morag hissed at me.

I looked away from Pagan as we trundled into a huge vertical crack in the rock that disappeared into the darkness far higher than I could see, even when fully magnifying my vision. Deep below us I could make out the orange glow of lava. Even this far above it I could feel the heat. It was a welcome change from the normal damp chill of the caves.

‘I should have taken a really strong psychotropic,’ Mudge said, removing his sunglasses. We’d tried to explain the pointlessness of wearing sunglasses underground but he’d insisted it was a hangover tradition.

There were a lot of cave mouths, natural pathways in the rock, surrounding the enormous fissure. Some of the ledges were big enough to be small plateaux in their own right. On the opposite side of the fissure, waterfalls cascaded down to be turned to steam far below us. The ledge we were on and much of the surrounding area was covered in dark soil with large flat mushrooms growing out of it. The mushrooms gave off a faint ghostly bioluminescence. However, the most singular thing about the whole area was the beanstalk.

‘Fe fi fo fum,’ Mudge said, grinning as he popped something in his mouth. He’d spent the previous couple of minutes searching all his pouches, presumably for just the right drug for the occasion.

‘I smell the blood of an Englishman,’ Pagan finished and then for some reason glanced at me. Perhaps it was because I was staring at him.

It looked more organic and less like the solid liquid that made up Them but was unmistakably Themtech. Though it was only about the thickness of one of the skyscrapers that I’d seen in New York, its sheer scale reminded me of the Spokes. It ran as high as I could make out and down into the lava below. Smaller tendrils or roots branched from its entire length, burrowing deep into the rock or into tunnels.

‘What are those for?’ Cat asked.

‘At a guess, it’s harvesting resources it needs from the surrounding area, taking minerals, water from the ice for fuel, using the lava below to generate geothermal energy,’ Pagan said.

The Morlock was impassive but I couldn’t shake the feeling he hated this thing. It was like a giant parasitic maggot eating away at the guts of his planet.

‘It probably processes and gets rid of waste as well, but whatever it’s doing it looks like it’s collecting a hell of a lot of raw material and energy,’ Pagan continued.

‘That’s Nightside over there,’ Tailgunner said, nodding towards the opposite side of the fissure. He looked horrified.

‘You had no idea?’ I asked.

He just shook his head.

‘That would explain why it’s been expanding, growing,’ Morag said. Pagan nodded in agreement.

‘What’s been growing? What is this?’ I asked.

‘Don’t you know where we are?’ Pagan asked.

‘Pagan, I will throw you in the lava,’ I told him.

I received a warning look from Cat.

‘We’re deep under the Citadel, Jakob,’ Morag said.

‘Sweet. Let’s climb up the beanstalk and slay the wicked giant,’ Mudge said. I wasn’t sure he was joking.

Pagan was shaking his head. ‘It has to come through at least two miles of solid rock before it gets to this fissure.’

‘Can we sabotage it?’ I asked.

‘What with? A nuke?’ Cat asked.

‘I’d go for that,’ Mudge said.

‘Cat?’ I nodded at the Morlock. He was staring at her. He seemed angry. Cat was so surprised at the change in expression and the intensity of his look that she stepped back involuntarily.

‘Chill, dude. We’re not going to nuke your mushrooms,’ Mudge said. ‘Do they have any hallucinogenic properties?’

‘Why don’t you eat some?’ I suggested. ‘Can we use this at all?’

I noticed that Morag was smiling.

‘This is our out,’ she said.