Vicious Circle

Chapter 26

The living room seemed dark after our time in the sunshine, and my eyes adjusted slowly. I’d held back in the kitchen, but Johnny motioned me to follow, and I knew he wanted me with him for this.

Nana sat to one side of the couch and indicated the other end to Johnny. “Good, Persephone. I’m glad you came too. You should see this.”

I sat on the floor opposite them. The cards were upside down to me, but I knew them well enough that it made no difference. Nana’s deck was pretty, but worn.

“In light of everything that’s happened, I thought doing a reading might give me some insight. I didn’t get answers, but it seems very clear this reading is about you, Johnny, so I thought you should see it.” She paused. “Have you ever had your cards read before?”

“Nope.”

Nana gestured over the cards spread across a Tarot cloth on my coffee table. “This is a Celtic Cross spread. The first position represents you. As you can see, the card is the King of Cups.” She lifted the card and handed it to Johnny. “My deck is a Mythic deck, with the populace of Greek mythology adorning the cards. The king here is Orpheus, who was the son of the muse Calliope and was known as the greatest musician ever. I understand you have a band and have written many songs, so I think this card suits you well.” She smiled genuinely. “Since the cards in the suit of cups are concerned with emotions, the King of Cups is described as a man who values relationships and human experience above all else. Also, he is a man who influences others with his words, so, again, I believe this is a good match for you.

“The next card, the card that’s lying across your king”—she replaced the card—“is the card that identifies the problem. And the problem here is the King of Wands, represented by Theseus. Your current problem is with another man of heated enthusiasm, a man of some strength and nobility of character. He is an impatient man, though, and selfish too. Do you know whom this card represents?”

Johnny studied it. “I think so.”

Sounded like a vampire-wizard to me.

“Now the third card…” She suddenly sat straighter. “I’m not boring you with the overexplaining, am I?”

“No. Please, go on.”

“The third card crowns you and reveals the surface of the issue. You’ll see that it is the Judgment card, and the figure on it is Hermes, messenger of the gods. See these pillars here? One black and one white? Remember them. I think you’re looking at your past and seeing the patterns for the first time and realizing there is a certain intelligence in it.”

“I don’t know most of my past.”

“But what you do know,” I said, “is that there is a pattern to it, a pattern guiding you toward your destiny.”

Johnny smirked. “Yeah. I guess.”

Nana smirked back. “After all that’s happened in the last twelve hours, you ‘guess’?”

“All right. All right. I see it.”

“The fourth card is the base of the problem, the motivation that drives you, as such.” She lifted the card and held it up for both Johnny and me to see. “It is the High Priestess.”

“Intuition,” I said.

She pointed. “Here are those black-and-white pillars again, see? The secret pattern of your purpose, your particular destiny, is something you already know, but you might be looking for some other future when the one you’re meant for is already here.”

“I think I know what I’m meant to do already. And I’m not looking for a substitute.” Johnny took the card from her, examining it. “Who is she?”

Nana offered me a secretive smile while he examined the card, then faced him to answer. “She is the Queen of the Underworld. She is Persephone.”

My chin dropped to my chest. Peripherally, I could tell that Johnny stilled, fingered the card, then replaced it on the table. His voice was deeper than usual when he said, “Go on.”

“Fifth is the position of past influences. The card Strength shows Heracles struggling with a lion that represents the beastly side of his own character. I think we all know what this refers to. Sixth is the Hanged Man, Prometheus. This is the position of future influences and suggests that in the future you will have to sacrifice something to gain something else of greater value.”

“Like what?” Johnny asked.

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Any clues? Hints?”

“Only that it will not likely be easy. It could be something physical you must relinquish—or maybe something intangible, like a certain belief or attitude. Seventh here is the Chariot.” She held it up. “Notice Ares is driving a chariot with a black horse and a white horse—rather like the black-and-white pillars, don’t you think? And the two horses are trying to go in opposite directions.”

“I see that.”

Nana smiled wryly. “He’s not going to get where he needs to be if his motivations aren’t working in unison, is he?”

“No.” He frowned at the card. “What does this one’s position indicate?”

“The position refers to how you see yourself. This card tells me things have been neither wholly good nor wholly bad, that you have learned to accept the consequences of being a wærewolf, but perhaps you have not embraced the fact of being one and you still harbor anger about it as if something was taken from you, when perhaps you need to see it as ‘something was given to you.’” She paused. “You’re going somewhere, but you can’t get there if you don’t get your motivations to work together. Even if you want to, even if you need to, you cannot be in two places at once.” She tapped the corner of the next card. “The eighth position—which refers to how others see you—you’ll notice even the title of the card leaves no room for misunderstanding.”

“The Hermit.”

“Yes.”

“The scythe makes him look like the Grim Reaper, though.”

“Cronos was the youngest Titan and father of Zeus. The lamp he holds represents the patience and understanding he acquired in his loneliness. It is, perhaps, a great thing to have the understanding, but is that knowledge worth the hardship of being alone?”

Johnny looked at her steadily. “Can you be less cryptic?”

“I think this is tied to the last card, so be patient. The ninth card represents your hopes and fears and can be either one or the other, or both in one. The card here is the Devil, represented by Pan, who is an icon of the bonds all people feel with the instinctive animals that they are. Pan is part man and part beast. Pan is an untamed god of nature”—she regarded Johnny earnestly—“but he is also a musician.”

Johnny smirked again. It was almost adorable.

“So is this my hope or my fear?” Johnny asked.

“Both, I believe. You hope to accept fully what you have become and what you will become, yet you fear what doing that will mean.”

“You’re losing me again.”

“Just remember the things I tell you. It’ll all make sense eventually.”

Johnny turned to me as if asking for proof.

“It will,” I said. “It always does. The cards are like that.”

“What about the last one?”

“The future outcome. The Magician. Hermes again. Here, he is the ruler of magic and master of the four elements. He has before him a caduceus with two snakes, one black and one white, representing every opposite you can imagine. Darkness and light, male and female, and so forth. And I think”—she tapped the Hermit—“it is no accident that this card, this lonely patience, brings the reward of being able to see and understand both light and dark, both good and evil. Hermes is the inner guide, and he may guide you to perilous and wearisome places, but only to point out the potential you have and make you choose whether to develop it or leave it uncultivated.” She leaned forward. “I’ve always found Hermes to be an exciting card. I do hope you pursue what he shows you.”

“You’re not suggesting magic?”

“No. No. I would never. Much too dangerous.”

“Then what? How will he show me what to pursue?”

“A dream. A book you stumble on. Anything spontaneous and intuitive at the same time.” She tapped the High Priestess card. “Intuitive.”

“It’s all connected, huh?”

“Oh, yes. You already know that. And what’s more, you have two kings and eight Major Arcana cards. It’s splendid. Hermes is here twice, once in the underworld where he guided Orpheus”—she pointed to the King of Cups—“and where Persephone”—she touched the High Priestess card—“is Queen. Hermes carried the infant Pan”—she tapped the Devil card—“to Olympus when his mother fled in fright after seeing what she’d given birth to. There is definitely a linking of the underworld through these cards. Heracles, seen here in the Strength card wearing the color of Ares—the god on the Chariot card—Heracles rescued Prometheus”—she tapped the Hanged Man—“a Titan and brother of Cronos.” She tapped the Hermit card. “In fact, the only one who does not have deeper connections on this reading is Theseus, the King of Wands, and, him being the problem here, I’m not at all surprised by that.” She studied the cards again, then looked up. “Eight Major Arcana is wildly powerful.”

“Why?”

“The Major Arcana are the cards of the gods, the influence of deities. You’re definitely unique, Johnny. And they know it.”