Veteran

21

I could hear Them singing. How could I hear Them singing in vacuum? It wasn’t in my ears. It wasn’t even in my head. It sounded like wind blowing through impossibly loud chimes, somehow discordant and beautiful at the same time, a choir of off-key angels.

They/It was beautiful as well. From where I hung in space I could see Their spires rooted deep into the asteroid, towers of a bioluminescent, coral-like material. They looked like a huge and perfectly still, tranquil city. I hung in space, naked and whole, no machinery in me any more, watching Them/It.

A whisper that came from deep within imparted to me that this was Them, that this was all They were. That this had been Their existence and They had been content because They had never known or wanted more.

I thought I could watch Them for ever and listen to Them for ever. Something at the back of my mind wondered how I could be in vacuum again and not be dying. I saw a flash image from a nightmare. Cold, so very cold, veins exploding, blood leaking around the plastic that filled my eye sockets. Gone again as I forced it down, a memory from another time, another life, and I just hung there and watched and listened.

I didn’t know how long I’d hung there, never growing bored or restless, and I don’t know what made me first realise that something was wrong. Maybe it was an old instinct. I looked around as much as my fixed position in the sky would allow. Eventually I found some of the stars were missing then more as the craft came closer. I recognised the configuration if not the actual ship itself. It was a light cruiser, the sort that had been manufactured around eighty to a hundred years ago. Because of the prohibitive cost of spacecraft many were still in service today. Though huge and seemingly ungainly, I’d always thought spaceships strangely graceful. Its manoeuvring thrusters silently and continually corrected the cruiser’s course.

This was a warship, a human one, and I could see what was about to happen. I started screaming at it – somehow I could hear my own voice – but it did no good. The barrage of missiles had so far to fly it was like they were moving in slow motion, their engines burning harshly. The red light of laser batteries stabbed out, joining the cruiser to the beautiful alien spires again and again, scarring and burning wherever they touched. It was the cruiser’s particle-beam weapon pulsing blue and white every time it was charged that did the most damage. I watched spires split and burst and float into space and then the rockets blossomed, covering the alien city in the brief fires of their plasma warheads.

Ice clung to my face from tiny frozen teardrops. I could not understand this. There was no point. It seemed like an attack on something beautiful for the sake of it. The worst of it was that I could still hear them, the same way I had heard their singing, but they weren’t singing any more.

The asteroid seemed to spin in front of me. It took a moment to realise that it was me who was moving. We were on the opposite side of the asteroid. The cruiser was above me now, making minute alterations with its thrusters to hold it in place. From its hold came two heavily armed assault shuttles – again they were older models. The assault shuttles escorted a much larger transport shuttle. I couldn’t remember the designation for the transport shuttle but it was one of those models that was basically an engine and a cockpit with a framework in the middle that could be filled with modular cargo loads. In this case it carried a portable base set up for deep space.

I watched as the assault shuttles landed and a squad of exo-armoured troops disembarked from each, setting up a perimeter for the transport shuttle. The base was tethered and set up. It was a large one but I couldn’t make out what it was for. It wasn’t a mining operation; besides the Belt resources were nowhere near exhausted and much easier to get at. It wasn’t an OP, as they’d destroyed the only other thing on the asteroid. It was too small for a garrison and didn’t have enough spacecraft with it, and the cruiser was a much better choice for a base.

I had no reference for time but it seemed to me that the base was set up very quickly, or rather the bare amount of set-up was done and it was abandoned. The transport shuttle and one of the assault shuttles were left there as the final assault shuttle took off. They’d also left all the exo-armoured troops on the asteroid. Then something really weird happened. The assault shuttle did not dock with the cruiser. Instead it set another course away from the asteroid at maximum burn. The cruiser began firing its escape pods on the same trajectory as the assault shuttle.

There was obviously some concern from the troops still on the asteroid. Then they started firing. Whatever they were firing at was behind me. Still floating in space though I was, I managed to swing round. Over the small horizon of the asteroid I saw it come. It looked like an oil slick, as it seemed to surge across the cold rock. It was huge, covering the ground, I could see splashes from where the armoured troops’ railgun rounds impacted, but it still came on, tendrils and pseudopods reaching for the soldiers. I recognised this black liquid – it was what I’d seen beneath the chitin of a thousand berserks. It was the same stuff the Ninja had been made from when it had forced its way into Gregor, violating my friend, and it was the same material that had made up Ambassador. The city was Them.

Tendrils grabbed the armoured soldiers and simply prised open their armour. The soldiers inside the powered armour died when they were exposed to vacuum but the tendrils still pierced their flesh. The semi-solid black liquid surged into the shuttles and then penetrated the base. I found myself able to move, trying to ignore the panicking, dying humans around me as I moved, or was taken, into the base.

Corpses of military cyborgs hung in the air. It looked like they had tendrils of their own blood growing out of them. The base seemed to me to be more of a warehouse. It was full of weapons – everything from a space fighter to a laser pistol, but only one of each. There were surface-to-space missile launchers, self-propelled artillery, a sled, a tank, assault rifles and railguns. The newest of these weapons was about seventy years old.

The liquid seemed to reach out and touch it all, even the dead cyborgs; it was like it was tasting everything. Through the massive torn-open airlock door I could see what looked like a tree branch made of liquid reaching up towards the now inert and drifting cruiser. After all, if they were going to go to war they would need to learn to travel interstellar distances.

My eyes flickered open. I was lying in her lap. She was gently cradling my head. A familiar tendril of black liquid flowed from her mouth and into mine. Her eyes were gone; black liquid pools had replaced them. Suddenly I was choking and I could hear whispers inside me.

I sat bolt upright. There was an uncomfortable yank from the sockets on my neck as our connection was broken. Morag cried out and sat up.

‘What’re you doing?’ she cried. I was almost surprised to find myself in the dusty ruins of the old terraced flat.

‘What am I doing?’ I demanded, pulling the last remaining plug from the biofeedback device. ‘What are you doing?’ I was shouting now. ‘In here!’ I tapped the side of my head. She looked stricken, but I was too angry at my violation, at the revelation that flew in the face of everything I’d always known.

‘But you said-’

I stabbed my finger at her. ‘To share, with you. Not so you could fucking brainwash me! You let him in! You gave him access to my head!’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘You know it doesn’t make any difference?’ I told her.

‘What doesn’t?’ she demanded, getting angry.

‘Whether your pimp is human or alien!’ I shouted. I think I expected her to burst into tears. She didn’t; she just looked cold, distant and very angry.

‘Go away,’ she said through gritted teeth. Straight away I knew I was being an arsehole, straight away I knew I’d woken up afraid, but I tried to ignore that weakness and hold on to my pride and anger. I grabbed my clothes and my gear and went to find a place to dress.

I guess Mudge noticed my face like thunder as I returned to where we’d parked. The cyberbillys were beginning to break camp and head out. Dust filled the air again.

‘Went well then?’ he asked, smirking. He was smirking less when he found himself lying on his arse with his mouth bleeding.

Mudge jumped back to his feet. ‘What the fuck!’ he shouted.

‘Not now,’ I told him, and he had the sense not to push it further. Pagan was stood a little way from us, leaning on his staff, watching me. I couldn’t make out the expression on his face.

Gibby skidded his car to a halt next to me, kicking up dust and causing me to cough. I slapped on another stim and knocked back some more of Papa Neon’s pills with water. Buck pulled up on his low rider.

‘What’s the plan?’ he asked.

Something exploded in the air over the square. We all instinctively ducked and weapons were drawn. I saw bits of debris rain down on the ground around a small group of complaining cyberbillys. Whatever it was hadn’t been big.

‘What d’you reckon?’ Buck asked. ‘Recce drone?’ I nodded. I could see Morag striding angrily across the square towards us carrying the camping gear. Shame and anger were warring within me. I think shame was winning but anger had pride on its side.

From the embankment I could see Rannu walking towards us. He had removed the magazine from, and was folding in half, a shotgun/ sniper rifle combo weapon.

‘Recce drone?’ I asked. He nodded, sliding the folded weapon into a long sheath strapped to his thigh. Morag was with us now, talking quietly to Buck. He did not look happy.

‘Rannu just took out a recce drone, which means that we’re compromised,’ I said. Everyone continued to look at me expectantly except Morag. ‘We’re going to head back to Crawling Town and swap the vehicles if we can.’ I was looking at Buck and Gibby. Gibby swore but Buck nodded. ‘And then make our way as fast as possible back to New York. Is that okay with everyone?’ There were nods and muttered assents.

I turned to the muscle car and climbed into the driver seat, ignoring complaints from Mudge. Rannu and Pagan climbed into the cramped back seat and Mudge took shotgun. I saw Buck get off his bike as I plugged myself into the car’s interface and the engine growled into life. Morag climbed onto Buck’s low rider and Buck got into Gibby’s car. The suspicious and unpleasant part of my mind asked how she’d talked Buck into loaning her his bike.

We kicked up dust as we joined the rest of the Hard Luck Commancheros heading back to Crawling Town.

I drove the car through suburbs that looked more deserted than ruined. It gave them an eerie feel, as if all the people had just left. The sun glowed red through the polluted air. Every so often we saw feral dog packs roaming the rubble-strewn streets. We didn’t talk much. Gibby’s car was ahead of us and in front of that Morag rode alone. I could feel Pagan staring at the back of my head.

‘What is it, Pagan?’ I asked when I finally got fed up with the feeling of his eyes on my neck.

‘You slept with her?’ he asked. Mudge gave me a sideways glance. He was grinning. He seemed to have forgiven me for punching him.

‘That’s none of your business.’

‘That depends,’ he said.

‘This should be good,’ Mudge said exaggeratedly, making himself comfortable in his bucket seat.

‘Do you know what a hierodule is?’ Pagan asked me.

‘You know I don’t.’

‘Oh come on,’ Mudge said, shaking his head. ‘A temple prostitute. You’re not serious?’ Every so often I forget that Mudge is actually quite well educated.

‘I think she is possessed and I think she will do anything for what possesses her.’ This sounded familiar. Pagan was starting to sound like Vicar. The thing is I wasn’t sure he was wrong.

‘It would certainly explain why she was prepared to sleep with this wanker when someone like me was on offer,’ Mudge said, still grinning. I didn’t say anything. Mudge looked over at me. ‘You’re not buying this shit, are you? She may have some funny ideas, probably thanks to this arsehole,’ he said pointing his thumb at Pagan, ‘but a one-hooker alien invasion she is not.’ I still didn’t say anything. I just concentrated on the road. Mudge was staring at me now.

‘Jake?’ he said.

‘I don’t know, man. Some things happened,’ I said. ‘Weird shit.’

‘Cool. Did she lick your arse?’ Mudge asked. This was why it was sometimes difficult to remember that he was educated.

‘Was it her or the alien?’ Pagan asked.

‘Does she have tentacles?’ Mudge enquired.

‘Shut up, Mudge. I don’t know. The alien, I guess.’

‘But she seduced you?’ Pagan more sort of stated than asked. Interesting question: did she seduce me? It didn’t feel like a seduction but then maybe that was the beauty of it. She was after all an experienced hooker.

‘Losing your religion, Pagan?’ Mudge asked.

‘What?’

‘Listen to yourselves. You’re turning a young girl – sorry, woman -into some kind of alien sex demon. What happened to the licentiousness of paganism? Hmm? You sound like one of those old-time pre-FHC fundamentalists. All women are evil. You’re just pissed off because she’s better than you. Don’t worry. I don’t think she’ll be interested in playing John the Baptist; you’ll get the glory for creating God,’ Mudge said before turning to me. ‘And you, you’re lucky that Ash and Bibs aren’t around because they would’ve taken you off and given you a right hiding by now. Grow the fuck up.’

‘Mudge, you weren’t there-’ I began.

‘Shame really. Even I wouldn’t have been as big a prick about it as you are. Maybe there’s something going on with her, so what? You keep second-guessing her and you’ll make yourself miserable and I’ll probably get punched more often. Take it at face value until you know better. You both just sound fucking frightened. In fact, fuck it, when we stop I’ll go and ride with her, see how she feels about a real man. Yeah?’

I didn’t want that, I definitely did not want that, but I did want to hit Mudge again.

‘No, I didn’t think so,’ he said as he watched my knuckles turn white. ‘You know, if we had more women with our merry band I wouldn’t have to listen to this bullshit.’

‘You’re woman enough,’ I assured him.

‘Perhaps dressing it up in religious terms is hyperbole but the fact remains-’ Pagan began.

‘That she is reacting to what is happening to her; she has not found and adapted a belief system to herself. Hers is a natural reaction, whereas yours, like every religion, is man-made,’ Rannu said.

‘You’ve been thinking about this,’ I said to him.

‘I think when things do not go well between a man and a woman, the man and his friends sit around and damn the girl,’ Rannu said. ‘You are both just finding her more difficult to manipulate.’

‘I’m not trying to manipulate her,’ Pagan said. ‘I have concerns.’

‘Really? Fucking least of mine. The lovely Josephine Bran may be looking through a smartgun link at my pretty face right now,’ Mudge pointed out.

‘And if we inadvertently destroy the human race?’ Pagan said. Mudge started laughing; even to my ears it sounded ridiculous. ‘I’m serious,’ he insisted. ‘We get this wrong, we could hand over our system to Them.’

‘Don’t get it wrong then,’ Mudge said. ‘I still don’t see how it’d be Morag’s fault.’

‘Have faith,’ Rannu told him. We lapsed back into silence. If Rannu and Mudge were right, and I think I’d always known they were, then I’d screwed up big time. Not only that but I’d said the most hurtful things I could to her. It also meant that what I’d dreamt or what Ambassador had told me might be true. If that were the case then it would seem that not only had we started the war but we had also provided them with the means to make their own weapons. That, however, didn’t make any sense. I couldn’t think of a single good reason to throw humanity into a war like this. I couldn’t understand the gain.

Back at Crawling Town we had a hurried meeting with Papa Neon and Mrs Tillwater. The moving city was getting ready to pull out. They’d had more incursions, serious ones this time. The Fortunate Sons had assembled a full armoured brigade across the border in Pennsylvania with air and artillery support. The Commancheros provided us with new vehicles: two pretty utilitarian pickup trucks (much to Buck and Gibby’s disappointment) and a dirt bike to act as a motorcycle outrider. Mudge had taken the bike and invited Morag to ride with him, probably just to piss me off. She had accepted. It was working. I was pissed off but mostly angry with myself and very sorry.

Pagan sent out a heavily encrypted message to Balor. Rolleston, if he was still interested, could break it in time, but the phrase was random, prearranged with Balor when we’d set up our comms procedures. The Commancheros and the Big Neon Voodoo had both agreed to send out small convoys to confuse anyone surveilling us and to confuse satellite observation. Pagan was running scans and ECM attempting to either find or confuse recce drones and other methods of detection they might use. He’d also swept the vehicles and us for bugs but found nothing. We discussed nothing more about our plans on the journey back.

We drove through the night. Mudge ditched the bike but neither he nor Morag was badly hurt. I kept going through the pills, the stims and some rather good amphetamines that Mudge had. I’d known he would have some somewhere. Things were pretty quiet in our truck.

Balor himself met us by the water, a different rendezvous point from where we’d last seen him. There was a speedboat waiting for us; we were to leave the trucks. He greeted us all like old friends and Morag like visiting royalty. I think Buck and Gibby may have found him somewhat disconcerting.

Over the water I could see parts of New York were burning, the flames reflected in the cold grey water. Smoke was rising from other sections of the city.

‘Problems?’ I asked somewhat redundantly.

‘Nothing for you to worry about,’ Balor said. ‘You are my guests.’

‘Is this because of us?’ Morag asked.

‘I don’t know; we didn’t stop to ask them.’

‘Who were they?’ Mudge asked.

‘They insulted me by sending a marine expeditionary force of Fortunate Sons. As if Fortunate Sons would be a match for my vets. Still, they did have a lot of aircraft,’ he growled, sounding generally angry that they had not properly challenged him.

‘Balor, they could level the city if they wanted to,’ I said evenly. Balor turned to me.

‘I think my evil eye would weep. I love that city.’ He looked sad but then he laughed. ‘I was told they tried to assemble a SEAL team to come into the city, but they all refused and then contacted some of their friends who work for me. That was how we knew they were coming.’ He grinned his unnerving shark grin.

‘If this is Rolleston he’s painting with a pretty big brush,’ Mudge said. I nodded.

We went to work, though I spent a bit of time in the hospital getting my skin patched up again. I wrote down what we would need and gave it to Balor. He read it, ate it and then asked me for another, memorised that one and then ate that too before complaining that I would bankrupt him. I was asking a lot from him but he came through. I couldn’t help but be impressed when he showed me the ten Wraiths. They were one generation back but they were what I’d been trained on in the Regiment.

‘You got the deep-water conversion kit?’

‘Got all the conversion kits, deep water, deep space, toxic atmosphere, high gravity, you name it. They’ve never been used; they belonged to a Fortunate Sons unit before we boosted them.’

‘You know we can’t pay for these.’

‘They attacked my home. You know I’m coming with you.’ I looked up at him sharply and then nodded. He would be useful, very useful indeed.

‘And I won’t be needing one of these,’ he said, gesturing at the Wraiths.

Pagan and Mudge went to work trying to find corroborating intel for Buck and Gibby’s story. Pagan used the other world of the net and Mudge reached out to all his old journalist contacts. Morag worked on God, researched the actual Atlantis Spoke itself and either avoided or ignored me, not surprisingly.

Rannu helped me with an assault plan, which wasn’t built on very much information. He was also teaching Morag to fight, helping her integrate her softskills, running simulations for her, that kind of thing. He’d added a smartlink to both her laser pistol and her personal defence weapon and provided her with glasses that would act as a heads-up display and show her where the crosshairs were. The guns were linked through a glove that was wired into the glasses. They also provided low-light vision. It wasn’t as good as having it all hard wired but it didn’t involve replacing any more of her flesh.

Rannu and I also worked on the Wraiths. We ran diagnostics, did the deep-water operations conversion and attached insulating foam to help keep their EM and heat signatures to a minimum.

Buck and Gibby took in the sights and got drunk and high. When Balor provided them with a transport flyer, they complained about it but went to work improving it as much they could and breaking it into their way of flying.

I was leaning against an acoustic tile, wearing only a towel just like the rest of us.

‘If you’re going to talk don’t lean against the tile; have as little contact with the floor and walls as possible,’ Pagan said.

‘Should I stand on one leg?’ Mudge asked. I thought Balor looked ridiculous with a towel wrapped round his waist but all our clothes were outside the clean room. I didn’t think Morag looked ridiculous only wearing a towel. I was trying hard not to look at her. Pagan had checked us all thoroughly for surveillance devices before we entered. Worryingly, he’d found a couple on Buck and Gibby, presumably picked up while they were sightseeing.

I pushed myself off the wall and onto my feet.

‘What’ve we got?’ I asked. My question was aimed at Mudge and Pagan.

‘A lot of smoke,’ Mudge said. ‘There are rumours about a facility deep below the surface. Couple of journos I used to know went missing looking into it. There have been a couple of deaths connected to it, one a hacker allegedly burnt out on their security countermeasures, and another a geneticist who’d contacted one of my missing journo friends. Rumour was he was going to blow the whistle. There are some wild stories about it from some of the more conspiracy minded. Usual stuff – the government has captured Them down there, that sort of thing. Nothing solid, but if I was looking for a story and didn’t mind getting killed I’d look into it. Not sure if I’d plan an assault on the strength of it.’

‘Any ideas as to where this facility might be?’ I asked.

‘I’ve got three sub-surface locations,’ he said. Morag unrolled the schematics she’d found. Pagan hadn’t allowed a monitor into the clean room. He’d said it was bad enough that we all had internal electronics. Mudge looked down the long, thick stem of the Spoke and found the three locations.

‘Here, here and here.’ He tapped the deepest one again. ‘This being the one that was most recommended, but like I say it’s all speculation.’

‘How deep?’ Balor asked.

‘Five hundred metres. What difference does that make?’ Mudge asked suspiciously, glancing over at me.

‘That’s the abyssal zone,’ Balor said. ‘No light, very cold.’

‘Pagan?’ I asked.

‘I think there’s something there. I found similar stuff in the more conspiratorial areas of the net. More importantly I confirmed most of Buck and Gibby’s story. The Steel was docked when and where they said it was. There’s a significant drain of power to that area,’ he said, pointing at the third possible location, the one that Mudge had favoured. ‘Some major kit has been delivered and then disappeared, as have a lot of supplies.’

‘What kind of kit and supplies?’ Rannu asked.

Pagan shrugged. ‘Lab gear, bio-hazard stuff, big containment stuff, genetics equipment, general lab supplies, food and enough gear for a not insignificant security force.’

‘Estimate?’ I asked.

‘Platoon strength at least.’

‘Heavy-duty gear?’ I asked. Pagan shrugged.

‘Unknown,’ he said finally. ‘They could be reinforced from elsewhere on the Spoke,’ he suggested and he was right. The Spokes were crawling with security, corporate and otherwise, soldiers returning or shipping out. Most had a garrison of Fortunate Sons, not to mention the Spoke Police, who would have a well-trained C-SWAT unit probably made up of vets like us.

‘So we have to move quickly. Couldn’t get into their net?’ I asked, knowing the answer.

‘It’ll be isolated from the net, a completely separate system, never the twain shall meet. They’ll have external communication in a separate net but it will be AI encrypts. I wouldn’t be able to break them if they’re even breakable at the moment.’

‘Who’s paying for this facility?’ Mudge asked Pagan.

‘Ostensibly a logistics company, but that’s just a shell corporation. If I had the time I could find out, but judging by the sophisticated way they’ve covered their tracks I would imagine the logistics company is an intelligence agency slush fund.’

‘Any idea whose?’ I asked. Pagan shook his head.

‘Okay what’s here?’ I asked, tapping the preferred location of the facility.

‘Airlock,’ Morag said. ‘Submarine loading dock.’ This surprised me.

‘You sure?’ I asked. She bit back a reply and nodded.

‘External defences of the Spoke?’ I said. There was shifting and muttering in the room. Spokes were thought to be near impregnable; since they’d been built there had always been paranoia about terrorist attacks.

‘Forty feet of reinforced concrete, in theory enough to deflect a nuclear-tipped torpedo’s blast. Full spectrum scans, motion sensors, automated steel guns, seeker torpedoes, probably augmented guard fauna, fast-response patrol submersibles,’ Morag said. I wasn’t the only surprised one; everyone was looking at her now.

‘Sounds fun,’ Balor said, grinning. ‘I think I’ve always wanted to attack a Spoke.’ He gave this more consideration. ‘Yes, I have.’

Pagan looked furious. ‘I’ve been wasting my time when I could’ve been working on God,’ he said. ‘What you’re suggesting is suicide.’

‘It does sound like an invitation to a cluster fuck,’ Buck said. Rannu, who had helped me form the plan, just smiled.

‘We’re not going to attack the Spoke,’ I said, trying to calm everyone down. ‘All I’m suggesting we do is enter this facility from the ocean.’ Balor looked disappointed.

‘We have to stealth their security as much as possible, then all we have to do is keep them off our backs long enough for Pagan to get us in,’ Rannu said.

‘And while we’re in the airlock they form up their security force and waste us,’ Pagan said.

‘Not if you’re quick enough,’ I told him.

‘I don’t have control over how fast water is pumped out of an airlock. Besides, how’re you planning on getting to that depth? Submersible?’

‘Wraiths,’ Rannu said. Everyone stopped and considered this.

Mudge let out a low whistle. ‘That would certainly give us an edge over their security force.’

‘Can they even operate at that depth?’ Pagan asked.

‘Yeah,’ I said. "Course.’

‘Just,’ Rannu answered more honestly. ‘Look, the plan is interesting as far as it goes but we don’t even know for sure if there’s anything there.’

‘The plan’s insane,’ Pagan said.

‘I like it,’ Balor said.

‘You’re insane,’ Mudge told him. ‘Even if your highly implausible breach works, we still don’t know what we’ll be facing inside. That’s if there’s even anything there. For all we know this could be an expensive and dangerous assault on a laundry.’

‘It’s there,’ Morag said.

‘More hooker’s intuition?’ Mudge asked.

‘No, but there’s a hole in the information there.’ She pointed at the third possible location on her schematic, the one that both Pagan and Mudge had favoured. She looked up at Pagan and her eyes glazed over.

‘I said no comms traffic!’ he shouted at her.

‘They won’t break it. Check my info,’ Morag said. Pagan went quiet. We all watched him expectantly. A few minutes later he seemed to deflate.

‘She’s right,’ he said. I think he must’ve felt a bit like I did when Rannu was beating the crap out of me – the realisation that you’d just been utterly superseded.

‘So how come you didn’t work that out?’ Mudge asked innocently.

‘Leave it, Mudge,’ I told him. From underneath the schematics of the Spoke Morag took a second set of schematics, unfolding them and laying them on the floor.

‘What’s that?’ I asked.

‘I used the floor plans I could find and wrote a program to fill in the blanks. This is the area that we are dealing with. These,’ she pointed at walls and supports, ‘are internal walls and structural supports that have to exist or the Spoke will fall down. As to what’s actually inside I don’t know, but as near as I can work out this is the shape of the area.’ We were all silent; Pagan looked stricken.

‘You sure?’ I asked.

‘Would you ask if Pagan had told you?’

‘Pagan’s done this kind of work before,’ I said.

‘Yeah, I know, and I’m just a stupid rig whore.’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘Well, not today anyway. Get him to check my work.’

‘Whose work?’ Pagan managed to say.

‘Don’t start that again,’ Rannu said menacingly.

‘Pagan, can you check that?’ I asked him. He nodded. Morag sent the information to him and he drifted off, running over her work. It took him a bit longer this time.

‘I think she’s right,’ he said.

‘We still don’t know what the layout will actually be,’ Mudge pointed out.

‘So as soon as we’re in, Pagan raids their systems for a schematic,’ I said. ‘Look. Nobody said this was going to be perfect, but you know as well as I do that as soon as you hit the ground the first thing that goes for shit is the plan.’

‘Not a good reason not to have one,’ Pagan pointed out.

‘We’ve all gone out on shakier grounds than this,’ I said.

‘Rarely ended well,’ he said.

‘Mudge, are you up for this?’ I asked him. He just shrugged.

‘Yeah, whatever.’

‘I can do it,’ Morag said. I turned to her.

‘Do what?’ I asked.

‘When we get inside, I can raid their systems, bring up the floor plan, that kind of thing.’ Pagan and Mudge both looked at her and then at me. Morag caught their looks. Buck and Gibby were looking uneasy as well. ‘What?’ she asked.

‘You’re not going,’ I told her.

‘What do you mean, I’m not going?’ She seemed so surprised that she wasn’t angry yet.

‘Morag, you’ve proved yourself in tight situations again and again, and the info you’ve given us today is brilliant, but this is a mechanised assault in a hostile environment. We can’t afford to have anyone down there that doesn’t have the training, experience and the ware for this kind of thing. Besides, you don’t know how to pilot a Wraith,’ I said.

‘ I know how to pilot a Wraith,’ she said triumphantly.

‘How?’ I asked, as I looked suspiciously over at Rannu. He remained impassive as ever.

‘Softskills. I’ve run simulations.’ I was glaring at Rannu now but I turned back to Morag.

‘I’ve tried to tell you before, softskills aren’t the same. Even if they’re properly integrated they just give you the basics. You need experience and training, like I said. If we have to be thinking about you as well as what we’re doing we’re just going to get ourselves killed. We’re going to have to look after Pagan when he’s tranced anyway. One we can handle, two we just don’t have the shooters for.’

‘So let me do the running, and keep Pagan as backup for me and as an extra shooter. I’m faster than him anyway.’ She turned to look at Pagan. ‘I’m sorry but I am.’

‘You mean you’re better than me,’ he said. Morag didn’t answer.

‘Look. Doing a run in combat is different-’ I began.

‘Actually it’s not,’ Pagan said. ‘Once you’re in the net you’re in. Doesn’t matter what’s going on in the real world, you get hit, you get hit.’ Morag grinned triumphantly. I glared at Pagan.

‘Look, Morag,’ Mudge said. ‘You’re good at what you do, real good, but you’ve never seen combat. You don’t know how you’ll react. You may freeze up. It’s not just your life on the line; you could get us killed as well. When I first saw combat I used to piss myself all the time and shake like a leaf for several hours after.’

‘You’ve stopped doing that?’ I asked Mudge. "Cause I was little worried that you might drown in your Wraith.’ Mudge gave me the finger and then considered what I’d said.

‘It’s a possibility,’ he finally allowed and then turned to Morag. ‘Look, darling. I don’t doubt you could do this given time, and I’d happily walk into a firelight with you, or at least as happily as I’d walk into any firefight, but this is just a bad job to learn on.’

‘She won’t freeze up. I’m happy to stake my life on it,’ Rannu said. I felt anger surge through me.

‘You are. What you don’t have the right to do is stake mine and everyone else’s here on it,’ I snapped at him. I was furious that he was encouraging Morag.

‘If we’re talking about dropping people from the mission, what about you?’ Rannu asked quietly. I felt like he’d punched me again.

‘What are you talking about? I’m one of the most experienced soldiers here and I’ve done breaches before. Not to mention I was piloting Wraiths before you lost your virginity, sunshine.’ I was trying not to shout.

‘You piss blood this morning?’ Rannu asked. I stopped. I felt cold, and he was right, I had.

‘He’s right,’ Mudge said. ‘You’re pretty much being kept upright by drugs and the metal and the plastic in your body.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ I snapped.

‘So will she,’ Balor said. I was astounded. I turned on Balor and Rannu.

‘You guys know better!’ They didn’t say anything. ‘You know what this will be like and you know you can’t do it-’

‘Without training and experience,’ Morag said sarcastically. I turned to her.

‘Do you really think I’m just saying this to be a cunt?’ I demanded. ‘Fine. You want to go? How about this? Let’s say you manage to pilot a Wraith adequately, let’s say you don’t freeze up and get the rest of us killed, you ready to kill someone else?’ I was shouting now. ‘Because I’ll tell you: the men and women we’ll be shooting at and who’ll be trying to shoot us, they won’t be bad people. They’ll be just like us, probably nice people just trying to make a go of it, do the best they can. The kind of people you could happily go for a pint with if we weren’t so busy trying to kill each other. Instead you’ll see their faces for a very long time, and then, worse, they’ll all begin to look the same to you. So you tell me, you ready to kill?’ She looked up at me. I could see the resolve – her face may as well have been made of stone.

‘I’m ready to do what’s necessary,’ she said and believed it. ‘I think what’s down there is important.’

‘The kinship you feel for Gregor isn’t real; it’s Ambassador playing tricks on you,’ I told her. She looked like I’d just slapped her. She opened her mouth to retort.

‘She’s right,’ Pagan said sadly from behind me. I turned to look at him. ‘She’s better than me. She should do the run. I’ll act as another shooter and watch her when she’s tranced and provide backup in the net if it’s needed.’ At that moment he looked like a beaten man. Desperately I looked to Buck and Gibby, who just shrugged. After all, they had the easiest part of the job.

‘You all going to die anyway,’ Buck said.

‘She doesn’t even have boosted reflexes,’ I said, pretty much as a last-ditch objection.

‘Yes, I do,’ she said. I swung back to look at her.

‘When did this happen?’ I demanded.

‘A week ago, when we started prep,’ she said.

‘Are they integrated?’ I asked.

‘Yes.’ It was Rannu who answered. For a moment I was speechless.

‘Do you know what you’re doing to yourself?’ I asked her, shaking my head.

‘Jakob,’ she said softly, ‘it’s none of your business.’ It had gone very quiet in the room. I could feel everyone looking at the pair of us. ‘And I’m going,’ she said with finality.

Just a little drug deal first, then I started looking for Morag. I finally found her in what looked to be an old function room on the upper floors of the Empire State Building. It had long fallen into ruin but somehow much of the wood panelling had survived. You could still see some of the fading art-deco patterns on it. More surprisingly the chandelier still hung from the ceiling. Most of its crystals were long gone but those that remained reflected the light from outside.

She was sitting on the window ledge oblivious to the drop. Ironically, for an ex-Para I’d never really liked heights despite the fact I’d done several orbital low-opening drops in my time. Much of New York was dark at night because it was uninhabited, but central Manhattan was lit up in all sorts of garish colours, huge spotlights stabbing up into the cloudy night sky. Morag was unintentionally dramatic, framed by the huge window with no glass in it, her loose-fitting clothes blown by the wind as she looked out over the city.

I walked over to the window but stayed several feet back from it and lit up a cigarette. She glanced up at me.

‘You going to tell me this is dangerous?’ she asked.

‘I’m assuming you know that. Question is are you doing it for effect?’ Irritation passed over her face and she turned back to the view.

‘I’m doing it because I like it here.’

‘Can you see why I said the things I said?’ I asked her.

‘Because you feel you have some kind of proprietary relationship to me. Though you’d probably describe it as caring.’

‘Proprietary relationship?’ I enquired, grinning.

‘Talking to Mudge too much recently,’ she said. I couldn’t see her face but I was pretty sure she was smiling too.

‘Yeah? I’m surprised you’re not using fuck as a comma rather than words like proprietary.’

‘Oh, I think he just talks like that for the benefit of all his soldier friends,’ she said. We lapsed into silence for a while, both looking out over the city. I tried to ignore the feelings of nausea, fatigue and weakness that washed over me.

‘Morag, I’m sorry, really sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said.

I know it’s not true. I was just freaked out and scared.’ It was pretty much the fullest apology I’d ever given. She let out a short, bitter laugh.

‘Well I guess you need the training and the experience to handle a lover with an alien in her headware,’ she said, still not looking at me. I didn’t really know what to say to that. I realised that this was all new to her as well and probably a lot scarier as she was experiencing it all directly, but she was finding a way to cope and I’d freaked out. She turned to look at me.

‘You had a dream,’ she said. ‘You acted like a bastard because you had a dream, that was all.’

‘You know it wasn’t a dream, or maybe it was but it was the truth as well. But you’re right and I’m sorry,’ I said again.

‘I accept your apology but I need you to stay away from me,’ she said and turned away. Maybe I was imagining her tears.

‘So what now? Rannu? Balor? Mudge?’ It was almost an instinct to say something stupid and hurtful. The words were out before I’d thought them through. Morag swung off the window and stood in front of me. Blinked-back tears turned to anger now.

‘Has it occurred to you that I’ll do just fine on my own? Don’t you get it? I’m helping you now. With what I know, what I can do, I could set myself up anywhere and look after myself a fuck of a lot better than you could look after yourself when we first met,’ she said, and she was probably right. ‘Thank you for believing me when we met, thank you for protecting me when I couldn’t, Jakob, but things have changed.’

‘Tomorrow I’ll try-’ I began but she cut me off.

‘Tomorrow you just concentrate on your job, because if you’re worrying about me then you’re going to get everyone killed.’

I just stood there feeling foolish. It looked like it was starting to rain.

‘Please go,’ she said. I did.