Vamps and the City

CHAPTER 10

The penthouse at Raleigh Place boasted two floors of opulent decor, including Italian marble floors and columns and Baccarat crystal chandeliers. Darcy figured you could fit a small chamber orchestra into the master bathtub. Or you could feed the entire population of Liechtenstein from the huge pantry in the kitchen.

Even so, she preferred the roof. Maybe it was a result of her forced confinement, but she loved being under the open sky. She loved the evening breeze on her face and the scent of roses that wafted from the glass greenhouse in the corner. She loved how the swimming pool glimmered in the moonlight and cast dancing reflections along the white-painted walls surrounding the roof. A mist hovered over the hot tub, inviting her to indulge in its glorious heat. Huge clay pots sat every five feet along the chest-high walls, each pot containing a green leafy plant that soared high over her head. Some plants were trimmed into huge cones, while others were shaped into fanciful animals. Each topiary was covered with white twinkle lights that glittered like the stars overhead.

In the opposite corner from the greenhouse, there was a tiny pool house. The two rooms contained the bare essentials, in sharp contrast to the grandeur of the penthouse. But Darcy was so enthralled with the roof, she'd decided to make the pool house her office and special retreat.

She paced around the swimming pool, tense with excitement. She was wearing the sparkly maroon dress she'd bought for Shanna's wedding, because tonight, she'd spend some time in front of the camera. Tonight, they would begin filming The Sexiest Man on Earth. And after a separation of two long weeks, she would see Adam again.

"Here they come," Gregori announced from the north edge of the roof. Next to him, Bernie aimed his camera at the street twelve floors below.

Darcy rushed to the wall and peered over. A black limousine was slowly coming down the street.

Maggie and the ex-harem judges were arriving. The second cameraman, Bart, was in the limo, so he could record their reactions to their new home. Darcy would combine the footage from both cameramen during the editing stage. The limo rolled to a stop at the red-carpeted entrance to Raleigh Place.

Gregori touched the earphones he was wearing. "Audio's coming in. I can hear them talking."

Darcy slipped her earphones on. At once, she could hear the excited voices of the ladies inside the limo.

"Land sakes!" Cora Lee exclaimed. "This place is grand!"

"Look," Lady Pamela said. "A footman is coming to open the door for us."

"That's a doorman," Vanda muttered.

"He's still a servant," Lady Pamela huffed. "Though I must say, it is appalling how servants these days neglect to wear their powdered wigs."

"Or proper livery," Princess Joanna declared. "It is impossible to tell which lord he is serving."

Darcy sighed as she watched from the roof. The ex-harem was so stuck in the past. She'd insisted that they update their wardrobe for the show, but now, she had a dreadful feeling they had completely ignored her. Bart climbed out first with his camera so he could record the ladies exiting the car. Vanda climbed out and strode down the red carpet. She was striking with her purple hair and dress. So far, so good.

Lady Pamela exited next. She adjusted the bodice on her Regency-style gown of pale blue silk. Her matching reticule hung from a ribbon around her wrist. Darcy groaned.

Maria Consuela and Princess Joanna moved onto the red carpet, both wearing long medieval gowns with veils covering their hair.

"I thought you bought them new clothes," Gregori muttered.

Darcy sighed. "You know what they say about old dogs."

Cora Lee struggled to get out of the car, but her hoop skirt jammed in the narrow door opening.

Maggie shoved her from behind, and she popped out onto the sidewalk. Then Maggie jumped out and closed the door.

They filed into the building, murmuring their appreciation of the marble floor and gilded ceiling.

"I do declare," Cora Lee exclaimed. "That elevator is so shiny!"

"Yes," Maggie agreed. "That's the elevator for the penthouse. The doors are solid brass."

"How lovely," Lady Pamela's snooty voice could be heard over the others. "Be a dear and push the button for us."

"Ah, actually, I need you to follow me," Maggie said. "This way, please."

"Where are you taking us?" Princess Joanna demanded.

"To another elevator," Maggie explained.

"But this hallway is so plain and dreary," Cora Lee whined.

"Why are we not going to the penthouse?" the princess asked sharply. "Where does this other elevator go?"

"Oh, it goes to the penthouse," Maggie assured them. "It just goes to the… kitchen and servants' floor. It's very nice and private."

"Servants' floor?" the princess shrieked.

Darcy and Gregori both winced as her strident voice grated over the headphones.

"Yes," Maggie responded. "We'll have very nice bedrooms all to ourselves on… the servants' floor."

"The servants' floor?" Lady Pamela's voice shook. "I'm the daughter of a baron, the widow of a viscount. I cannot live amongst servants!"

"There will only be the six of us," Maggie assured her. "And we'll each have our own bedroom.

Here we are. This is the service elevator."

"This is horrid, simply horrid," Lady Pamela sounded shrill. "I–I'm coming down with the vapors!"

"Silly child," Princess Joanna growled. "Where are your smelling salts?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. Lady Pamela's so-called smelling salts consisted of a vial filled with Chocolood.

"I'd better help Maggie." Darcy headed for the stairwell located close to the greenhouse. She glanced back at Gregori and Bernie. "I'll see you in the foyer at ten o'clock."

Gregori nodded. "We'll be there."

Darcy paused at the stairwell door. "Bernie, can you make arrangements for a helicopter? I'd like to get an aerial shot of this roof. It's so lovely."

"No problem." Bernie set down his camera and pulled out a cell phone.

Darcy opened the door to the stairwell. The reception on her earphones was faint now, but she could still hear the sound of screeching voices. Poor Maggie. Darcy rushed down three flights of stairs, then exited on the servants' floor. She could hear the ex-harem in the service elevator.

"Please calm down," Maggie pleaded. "There are six bedrooms on the servants' floor. They're small, but very nice. You'll each have your own room with a lovely view of Central Park."

"The view is of no consequence," Princess Joanna snapped. "It is a floor for peasants. I will not sleep in that hovel."

"It's not a hovel," Maggie insisted.

"This is quite beyond the pale," Lady Pamela declared. "We should be living in the penthouse."

"There are only five bedrooms in the penthouse," Maggie explained. "We need those for all the male contestants. As it is, they're going to have to share rooms."

"They could share the rooms on the servants' floor," Cora Lee offered.

"Those rooms are too small to be shared," Maggie argued.

"Ridiculous," Princess Joanna hissed. "The men should give us their bedchambers. Have they not heard of chivalry?"

The elevator doors opened. The cameraman Bart turned toward Darcy.

She greeted them with a smile. "Good evening. Welcome to your new home."

"This is an outrage!" Princess Joanna glared at her. "You said we would be living in the penthouse."

"The servants' quarters are part of the penthouse, and you'll each have your own room." Darcy led the way to the servants' parlor. "I believe you will find the accommodations quite comfortable." She opened the door.

The ladies trudged inside, grumbling. They stopped in the parlor and looked around. The couches and easy chairs were large and overstuffed; the television was as huge as the one they'd enjoyed at Roman's house. Vanda strolled into the kitchen and checked out the refrigerator. Bottles of synthetic blood, Chocolood, and Bubbly Blood lined the shelves.

"Not bad." Vanda grabbed a bottle Chocolood and popped it into the microwave. "This is really nice."

Princess Joanna sniffed. "Peasants shouldn't live this well. It's ungodly."

Darcy smiled. "Please make yourselves comfortable. And choose which bedroom you prefer."

The doorman arrived with all their luggage. He hauled the trunks to the bedrooms while the women directed him. By the sound of their excited voices, Darcy figured they were adjusting quite nicely.

Once the doorman was gone with a hefty tip, Darcy called all the women back into the parlor.

"Before we get started on the show, I'd like to interview each of you. This will be your chance to tell the vampire world about yourself. Each segment will be edited into the show later."

One by one, the women sat for the camera and gave a brief account of their life stories. Afterward, Darcy took them up one floor on the elevator to the kitchen. As she led them to the foyer of the penthouse, she could hear their sighs and gasps of approval. Bart rushed ahead of them so he could catch their reactions.

"It's beautiful," Lady Pamela whispered.

"I just adore a wide staircase," Cora Lee exclaimed. "Why, this one is wide enough for three women in proper ball gowns like mine."

Wide hallways led off the foyer to the east and west wings of the penthouse. The grand staircase swept up to an intermediate landing where it then divided in two. Then, the right and left portions of the staircase curved up to the second floor. An interior balcony ran the length of the second floor and overlooked the foyer. The polished marble floor reflected the lights from the massive chandelier overhead.

"This way." Darcy led them up the stairs to the landing. There, she positioned them in a row.

"Hey, ladies," Gregori called as he and Bernie entered the foyer. "Looks like you're ready to go."

"Yes, we are." Darcy ran down the steps and joined Maggie behind the cameramen. She signaled Gregori to begin.

"Welcome, ladies, to The Sexiest Man on Earth," Gregori announced in a clear voice. "There will be a total of fifteen men competing for the title. As the former harem of coven master Roman Draganesti, you five women hold the honor of being the most prestigious female Vamps in North America. Therefore, you are the most suited to judge this contest."

Darcy watched the women react to the compliment. They lifted their chins and stood a bit taller. It was good to see after the beating their egos had taken with Roman's dismissal.

"Princess Joanna Fortescue." Gregori bowed. "I bid you welcome."

"Thank you, good sir." The princess descended the stairs with her head held high.

"Keep the camera on her," Darcy whispered to Bart. This would be where she'd insert Princess Joanna's bio—with a few careful edits. Darcy had cringed when the medieval woman had claimed all Scotsmen were barbarians. Obviously, the princess had grown up in a time when Scotland had presented a threat to England. But sheesh, that was eight hundred years ago! How long could someone hold a grudge? Apparently, a really long time. Now, it seemed clear that the ex-harem was clinging to more than their old clothes. Their old prejudices had survived the centuries intact.

Princess Joanna stood proudly next to Gregori. In her medieval gown, she looked like a queen surveying her domain.

Gregori bowed once again. "Señora Maria Consuela Montemayor, I bid you welcome." As the second oldest lady Vamp, Maria Consuela was the second to descend the stairs.

"Lady Pamela Smythe-Worthing, I bid you welcome." Gregori bowed to the female Vamp from the Regency period. She lifted the hem of her gown to come down the stairs.

"Miss Cora Lee Primrose, I bid you welcome."

Cora Lee skipped down the stairs, her hoop skirt bouncing.

Gregori bowed to the final and youngest judge. "Vanda Barkowski, I bid you welcome."

"Thanks, dude." Vanda aimed a sly grin at the camera as she came down the stairs.

"This way, ladies." Gregori led them to the west wing and a pair of double doors. They filed in and sat on two leather couches facing him.

"This is the portrait room." Gregori motioned to the wall behind him.

Darcy flipped on the lights and all fifteen portraits were illuminated by track lighting on the ceiling.

She'd hung the portraits herself, seven on the top row and eight on the bottom. Her eyes automatically sought out her favorite portrait.

The artist had done a decent job, though she thought Adam's eyes were a deeper blue. For some reason, he hadn't smiled so his dimples weren't showing. But even with a serious expression, his portrait made her breath catch and her heart flutter. For the last two weeks, she'd fallen asleep remembering the feel of his mouth, the taste of his lips, and the heat of his body. She would have to be strong and keep her distance. Otherwise, he presented a temptation that was too hard to resist.

"The Sexiest Man on Earth will be selected according to your own list of criteria," Gregori explained. "The most important qualification was that he be rich. By the end of this show, the winner will be rich. The second qualification was that he be fair of face. So tonight, using these portraits, you will judge these men by their looks. Maggie will give each of you five black orchids.

Below each portrait is a narrow shelf. You will place an orchid by the portrait of each man you wish to eliminate. Five men must be eliminated tonight."

Cora Lee frowned at the black orchids that Maggie dropped in her lap. "We have to make a decision tonight? Five decisions?"

"Yes," Gregori replied. "Who would like to go first?"

The ladies glanced at each other.

Princess Joanna stood slowly, gathering her five black orchids in her hands. "As the eldest, I will go first."

Darcy had never seen the princess look so flustered. The medieval Vamp wandered down the double row of portraits. She clenched her hands together, crushing the flowers. She glanced toward the other ladies for guidance.

"Well," Cora Lee ventured. "It seems fairly obvious that we should eliminate the African. I couldn't possibly have a black master. My dear papa would roll over in his grave."

"And we must be rid of any Moors," Maria Consuela added,

"Cut!" Darcy strode over to the women. "Ladies, I will not allow racial bias on this show. Please set aside your old prejudices. For Pete's sake, this is the twenty-first century!"

"It is?" Cora Lee tilted her head. "It seems like only yesterday I turned a hundred. Where does all the time go?"

"Your numbers are meaningless to us." Princess Joanna looked down her nose at Darcy. "Only a mortal would count time because he has so little of it."

"I cannot do as you say," Maria Consuela told Darcy. "You do not understand how much we

Spaniards suffered to rid our country of those dreadful Moors."

"I sympathize with the hardships you must have endured in the past, but that was a long time ago,"

Darcy insisted. "And frankly, it's time to get over it. I will not have you selecting these men by race or religion. You are to make your decision tonight based solely on good looks. Any remarks I don't like will be edited from the show. Do you understand?"

Cora Lee snorted. "And I thought we had freedom of speech."

Darcy sighed. "Just be careful what you say."

Maria Consuela glared at her. "That's what they told us during the Spanish Inquisition."

Darcy shook her head in frustration as she walked back behind the camera. "Roll 'em."

Bart turned the camera back on. Princess Joanna glanced back at Darcy with a defiant look, then placed her five black orchids in front of five portrait frames. Darcy groaned.

Maggie leaned close. "You can't expect to wipe out centuries of hatred in one night."

"I guess not." Darcy watched in dismay as each of the judges used their black orchids to reject five men. Vanda was the only one who didn't take race into account, but she was outnumbered four to one.

Darcy studied the five women as they returned to their seats. They were smiling and evidently, quite proud of themselves. The more she thought about it, the more Darcy decided this was a good thing. These were women who had existed for centuries, never having to make an important decision for themselves. Tonight, they had managed to do it. True, they did it in defiance of her instructions, but still, it was a big step toward independence. They had every right to be proud.

Their moment of glory would have to be shortlived, though. It was time for the big surprise of the evening. Darcy motioned for Gregori to approach.

"Ready for all hell to break loose?" She passed him the flashlight containing a black light bulb.

"Yep. Just tell me which guy to do last."

Darcy told him, then he strode back in front of the camera.

"It's time to take a closer look at the five men you rejected this evening." Gregori aimed his

flashlight at a portrait and switched it on. "With a total of five black orchids, Tadayoshi of Tokyo is eliminated from the competition."

Darcy turned off the track lighting. Gregori's black light illuminated some previously invisible paint on Tadayoshi's portrait. Suddenly, he acquired long, white fangs.

"Oh, those are nice," Cora Lee whispered. "But I was afraid he'd be one of those frightful ninja masters."

Darcy winced. That would be a good line to edit.

"With four orchids beneath his portrait, Derek of Philadelphia will also be eliminated from the competition." Gregori pointed the black light at Derek's picture. His long fangs glowed in the dark.

Vanda sighed. "What a shame we had to lose Blackula. He was so handsome."

Darcy agreed, though the other ladies looked doubtful.

"Also with four black orchids, Harsha of New Delhi will be eliminated from the competition."

Harsha's white fangs appeared like magic when the black light hit his face.

"An interesting trick," Princess Joanna admitted, "but I do not see a purpose for it."

"With three black orchids, we'll be saying goodbye to Ferdinand of Salzburg." Gregori shone his light on Ferdinand's face, and the Austrian's fangs gleamed.

Lady Pamela sighed. "It is rather silly, isn't it? We already know the men are vampires."

Maria Consuela fiddled with her rosary. "And if you've seen one fang, you've seen them all."

"I'm not so sure about that," Vanda said with a grin.

"Come to think of it, I have seen a few with a ghastly yellowish tint." Lady Pamela shuddered.

"There's simply nothing worse than a vampire with poor dental hygiene."

Princess Joanna frowned. "And some of them are crooked."

"But some are longer than others," Vanda said. "You know, size is important."

Cora Lee heaved a huge sigh. "My poor Beauregard, God rest his soul. He had the longest fangs I've ever seen."

Gregori frowned at them, clearly uncomfortable. "Ladies, if you don't mind, we still have one more contestant to eliminate. Seth from New Jersey received three black orchids." Gregori aimed his flashlight at Seth.

The ladies waited.

Vanda exchanged a look with Darcy.

"Where are his fangs?" Lady Pamela asked.

"I didn't like him," Cora Lee said. "His hairline is receding."

"His bloody fangs are receding," Princess Joanna grumbled.

"There must be something wrong with that painting." Maria Consuela squinted at it.

"No," Gregori said quietly. "There's nothing wrong with the painting."

The room fell silent. The ladies exchanged confused glances.

Vanda rolled her eyes, obviously impatient with how slowly the women were thinking. "Gee, I wonder why he doesn't have any fangs."

The four women gasped. Even Bart flinched and nearly dropped the camera.

Princess Joanna jumped to her feet. "Are you saying there was a mortal in the contest?"

Gregori shrugged. "Looks that way, doesn't it?"

Maria Consuela stood, clutching her rosary to her chest. "I demand a straight answer. Is that man a mortal?"

"Yes," Greg admitted. "He's one of several mortal men in the contest."

The women gasped again.

"Oh, my! This is horrid, simply horrid!" Lady Pamela fumbled in her reticule for her smelling salts.

"This is an outrage!" Princess Joanna turned to Darcy, her eyes seething in anger. "How dare you sully our contest with mortals?"

Vanda shrugged. "They might be cute."

Lady Pamela scoffed. "A mortal could never be the sexiest man on earth. The very notion is

ludicrous." She unscrewed the top off her vial of Chocolood. "I'm quite up in the boughs over this."

Princess Joanna strode toward Darcy. "How could you! We trusted you, and you have betrayed us."

"Indeed." Lady Pamela sniffed at her vial. "First you put us in those dreadful servants' quarters."

"And now," Princess Joanna continued, "you insult us by forcing us to endure the company of mortals."

Cora Lee bounced to her feet. "We can't have a mortal master!"

"Then don't pick a mortal," Darcy told them. "Look, you're still in control here. You're the ones who decide which men are eliminated."

The women looked at each other.

"Then tell us which ones are mortal," the princess demanded.

Darcy shook her head. "I can't do that. You'll have to figure it out yourselves."

"We can do that." Maria Consuela clicked through her rosary. "We can smell them."

"Actually, you won't be able to do that." Darcy gave them all an apologetic look. "They'll be wearing a vampire repellent anklet that will make them impossible to detect by smell."

Princess Joanna huffed. "Then we will read their minds."

"No, you signed a contract stating you wouldn't."

"This is horrid, simply horrid." Lady Pamela drank her entire vial of Chocolood.

"Whatever will we do?" Cora Lee whimpered. "We can't have a mortal master."

"We won't." Princess Joanna lifted her chin. "Darcy thinks to play this evil game with us, but she will see. The mortal men will not compare to the vampire men. We will detect them as easily as a terrier seeks out vermin."

Maria Consuela nodded. "Si, it is true. The vampire men will be naturally superior."

"Of course!" Lady Pamela pressed a hand to her bosom. "The mortal men will fail miserably at each of our tests."

"Yes." Princess Joanna faced her co-judges with a fierce expression. "Hearken to me, ladies. We must be vigilant and eliminate this mortal threat."

The ladies huddled together, making their plans.

"Sweet Mary and Joseph." Maggie looked at Darcy. "I knew there was a reason for you to be here.

Do you realize what you've done?"

"Yeah. I made them hate me more than ever."

"No. Look at them. I've never seen them so excited, so impassioned. You've given them a purpose for their existence."

A chill inched down Darcy's spine. Surely Maggie was exaggerating. She tended to be a bit overdramatic.

A buzzing sound came from Darcy's headphones and she slipped them on to listen.

"May I have your attention, please?" Darcy waited for Bart to focus his camera on her. "The gentlemen are arriving."