Unwind

26. Pawnbroker

The man inherited the pawnshop from his brother, who had died of a heart attack. He wouldn’t have kept the place, but he inherited it while he was unemployed. He figured he could keep it and run it until he could find a better job. That was twenty years ago. Now he knows it’s a life sentence.

A boy comes into his shop one evening before closing. Not his usual type of customer. Most folks come into a pawnshop down on their luck, ready to trade in everything they own, from TVs to family heirlooms, in exchange for a little quick cash. Some do it for drugs. Others have more legitimate reasons. Either way, the pawnbroker’s success is based on the misery of others. It doesn’t bother him anymore. He’s grown used to it.

This boy is different, though. Sure, there are kids who come in, hoping to get a deal on items that were never claimed, but there’s something about this kid that’s markedly off. He looks more clean-cut than the kids that usually turn up in his store. And the way he moves, even the way he holds himself, is refined and graceful, deliberate and delicate, like he’s lived his life as a prince and is now pretending to be the pauper. He wears a puffy white coat, but it’s a bit dirty.

Maybe he’s the pauper after all.

The TV on the counter plays a football game, but the pawnbroker isn’t watching the game anymore. His eyes are on it, but his mind is keeping track of the kid as he meanders through the shop, looking at things, like he might want to buy something.

After a few minutes, the kid approaches the counter.

“What can I do for you?” the pawnbroker asks, genuinely curious.

“This is a pawnshop isn’t it?”

“Doesn’t it says so on the door?”

“So that means you trade things for money, right?”

The pawnbroker sighs. The kid’s just ordinary after all, just a little more naive than the other kids who show up here trying to hock their baseball card collections or whatever. Usually they want money for cigarettes or alcohol or something else they don’t want their parents to know about. This kid doesn’t look like the type for that, though.

“We loan money, and take objects of value as collateral,” he tells the kid. “And we don’t do business with minors. You wanna buy something, fine, but you can’t pawn anything here, so take your baseball cards somewhere else.”

“Who said I have baseball cards?”

Then the kid reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bracelet, all diamonds and gold.

The pawnbroker’s eyes all but pop out of his skull as the kid dangles it from his fingers. Then the pawnbroker laughs. “Whad’ya do, steal that from your mommy, kid?”

The kid’s expression stays diamond hard. “How much will you give me for it?”

“How about a nice boot out the door?”

Still, the kid shows no sign of fear or disappointment. He just lays the bracelet on the worn wooden counter with that same princely grace.

“Why don’t you just put that thing away and go home?”

“I’m an Unwind.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

This throws the pawnbroker for a loop for a whole lot of reasons. First of all, runaway Unwinds who show up at his shop never admit it. Secondly, they always appear desperate and angry, and the stuff they have to sell is shoddy at best.

They’re never this calm, and they never look this . . . angelic.

“You’re an Unwind?”

The boy nods. “The bracelet is stolen, but not from anywhere around here.”

Unwinds also never admit that their items are stolen. Those other kids always come up with the most elaborate stories as to who they are, and why they’re selling. The pawnbroker will usually listen to their stories for their entertainment value. If it’s a good story, he’ll just throw the kid out. If it’s a lousy story, he’ll call the police and have them picked up. This kid, however, doesn’t have a story; he comes only with the truth. The pawnbroker doesn’t quite know how to deal with the truth.

“So,” says the kid. “Are you interested?”

The pawnbroker just shrugs. “Who you are is your business, and like I said, I don’t deal with minors.”

“Maybe you’ll make an exception.”

The pawnbroker considers the kid, considers the bracelet, then looks at the door to make sure no one else is coming in. “I’m listening.”

“Here’s what I want. Five hundred dollars, cash. Now. Then I leave like we never met, and you can keep the bracelet.”

The pawnbroker puts on his well-practiced poker face. “Are you kidding me? This piece of junk? Gold plate, zircons instead of diamonds, poor workmanship—I’ll give you a hundred bucks, not a penny more.”

The kid never breaks eye contact. “You’re lying.”

Of course the pawnbroker is lying, but he resents the accusation. “How about if I turn you in to the Juvey-cops right now?

The kid reaches down and takes the bracelet from the table. “You could,” he says. “But then you won’t get this—the police will.”

The pawnbroker strokes his beard. Maybe this kid isn’t as naive as he looks.

“If it were a piece of junk,” the kid says, “you wouldn’t have offered me a hundred. I’ll bet you wouldn’t have offered me anything.” He looks at the bracelet dangling from his fingers. “I really don’t know what something like this is worth, but I’ll bet it’s worth thousands. All I’m asking is five hundred, which means, whatever it’s worth, you’re getting a great deal.”

The pawnbroker’s poker face is gone. He can’t stop staring at the bracelet—it’s all he can do not to drool over it. He knows what it’s really worth, or at least he can guess. He knows where he can fence it himself for five times what the kid is asking. That would be a nice bit of change. Enough to take his wife on that long vacation she’s always wanted.

“Two hundred fifty. That’s my final offer.”

“Five hundred. You have three seconds, and then I leave. One . . . two . . .”

“Deal.” The pawnbroker sighs as if he’s been beaten. “You drive a hard bargain, kid.” That’s the way these things are played. Make the kid think that he won, when all the while he’s the one who’s truly being robbed! The pawnbroker reaches for the bracelet, but the kid holds it out of reach.

“First the money.”

“The safe’s in the back room—I’ll be back in a second.”

“I’ll come with you.”

The pawnbroker doesn’t argue. It’s understandable that the kid doesn’t trust him. If he trusted people, he’d have been unwound by now. In the back room, the pawnbroker positions himself with the kid behind him, so the kid can’t see the combination of the safe. He pulls open the door, and the second he does, he feels something hard and heavy connecting with his head. His thoughts are instantly scrambled. He loses consciousness before he hits the ground.

The pawnbroker comes to sometime later, with a headache and a faint memory that something had gone wrong. It takes a few seconds for him to pull himself together and realize exactly what happened. That little monster conned him! He got him to open the safe, and the moment he did, he knocked him out and cleaned out the safe.

Sure enough, the safe is open wide—but it’s not entirely empty. Inside is the bracelet, its gold and diamonds looking even brighter against the ugly gray steel of the empty safe. How much money had been in the safe? Fifteen hundred, tops.

This bracelet is worth at least three times that. Still a deal—and the kid knew it.

The pawnbroker rubs the painful knot on his head, furious at the kid for what he did and yet admiring him for the strangely honorable nature of the crime. If he himself had been this clever, this honorable, and had found this kind of nerve when he was a kid, perhaps he’d be more than just a pawnbroker.

27. Connor

The morning after the bathroom incident, they are rousted awake by the Fatigues before dawn. “Everybody up! Now! Move it! Move it!” They’re loud, they’re on edge, and the first thing Connor notices is that the safeties on their weapons are oft. Still bleary from sleep, he rises and looks for Risa. He sees her already being herded by two Fatigues toward a huge double door that has always been padlocked. Now the padlock is off.

“Leave your things! Go! Move it! Move it!”

To his right, a cranky kid pushes a Fatigue for tearing away his blanket. The Fatigue hits him on the shoulder with the butt of his rifle—not enough to seriously wound him, but enough to make it clear to the kid, and everyone else, that they mean business. The kid goes down on his knees, gripping his shoulder and cursing, and the Fatigue goes about the business of herding the others. Even in his pain, the kid looks ready for a fight. As Connor passes him, Connor grabs him by the arm and helps him up.

“Take it easy,” Connor says. “Don’t make it worse.”

The kid pulls out of Connor’s grip. “Get off me! I don’t need your stinkin’ help.” The kid storms away. Connor shakes his head. Was he ever that belligerent?

Up ahead, the huge double doors are slid open to reveal another room of the warehouse that the Unwinds have never seen. This one is filled with crates—old airline packing crates, designed, both in shape and durability, to transport goods by air freight. Connor immediately realizes what they’re for—and why he and the others have been warehoused so close to an airport. Wherever they’re going, they’re going as air cargo.

“Girls to the left, boys to the right. Move it! Move it!”

There’s grumbling, but no direct defiance. Connor wonders how many kids get what’s going on.

“Four to a crate! Boys with boys, girls with girls. Move it! Move it!”

Now everyone begins to scramble around, trying to team up with their preferred travel companions, but the Fatigues have neither patience nor time for it. They randomly create groups of four and push them toward the crates.

That’s when Connor notices how dangerously close he is to Roland—and it’s no accident. Roland moved close to him on purpose. Connor can just imagine it.

Pitch black and close quarters. If he’s in a crate with Roland, then he’ll be dead before takeoff.

Connor tries to move away, but a Fatigue grabs Roland, Connor, and two of Roland’s known collaborators. “You four. That crate over there!”

Connor tries not to let his panic show; he doesn’t want Roland to see. He should have prepared his own weapon, like the one Roland certainly has concealed on him now. He should have prepared for the inevitability of a life-ordeath confrontation, but he hadn’t, and now his options are limited.

No time for thinking this through, so he lets impulse take over and gives in to his fighting instincts. He turns to one of Roland’s henchmen and punches him in the face hard enough to draw blood, maybe even break his nose. The force of the punch spins the kid around, but before he can come back for a counterassault, a Fatigue grabs Connor and smashes him back against the concrete wall. The Fatigue doesn’t know it, but this is exactly what Connor wanted.

“You picked the wrong day to do that, kid!” says the Fatigue, holding him against the wall with his rifle.

“What are you gonna do, kill me? I thought you were trying to save us.”

That gives the Fatigue a moment’s pause.

“Hey!” yells another Fatigue. “Forget him! We gotta load them up.” Then he grabs another kid to complete the foursome with Roland and his henchmen, sending them toward a crate. They don’t even care about the one kid’s bleeding nose.

The Fatigue holding Connor against the wall sneers at him. “The sooner you’re in a box, the sooner you’re somebody else’s problem.”

“Nice socks,” says Connor.

They put Connor in a four-by-eight crate that already has three kids waiting to complete their quartet. The crate is scaled even before he can see who’s inside with him, but as long as it’s not Roland, it will do.

“We’re all gonna die in here,” says a nasal voice, followed by a wet sniff that doesn’t sound like it clears much of anything. Connor knows this kid by his mucous. He’s not sure of his name—everyone just calls him “the Mouth Breather,” since his nose is perpetually stuffed. Emby, for short. He’s the one always obsessively reading his comic book, but he can’t quite do that in here.

“Don’t talk like that,” says Connor. “If the Fatigues wanted to kill us, they would have done it a long time ago.”

The Mouth Breather has foul breath that’s filling up the whole crate. “Maybe they got found out. Maybe the Juvey-cops are on their way, and the only way to save themselves is to destroy the evidence!”

Connor has little patience for whiners. It reminds him too much of his younger brother. The one his parents chose to keep. “Shut up, Emby, or I swear I’m going to take off my sock, shove it in your stinky mouth, and you’ll finally have to figure out a way to breathe through your nose!”

“Let me know if you need an extra sock,” says a voice just across from him. “Hi, Connor. It’s Hayden.”

“Hey, Hayden.” Connor reaches out and finds Hayden’s shoe, squeezing it—the closest thing to a greeting in the claustrophobic darkness. “So, who’s lucky number four?” No answer. “Sounds like we must be traveling with a mime.”

Another long pause, then Connor hears a deep, accented voice.

“Diego.”

“Diego doesn’t talk much,” says Hayden.

“I figured.”

They wait in silence, punctuated by the Mouth Breather’s snorts.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” Emby mumbles.

“You should have thought of that before you left,” says Hayden, putting on his best mother voice. “How many times do we have to tell you? Always use the potty before climbing into a shipping crate.”

There’s some sort of mechanical activity outside, then they feel the crate moving.

“I don’t like this,” whines Emby.

“We’re being moved,” says Hayden.

“By forklift, probably,” says Connor. The Fatigues are probably long gone by now. What was it that one Fatigue had said? Once you’re in a box, you’re somebody else’s problem. Whoever’s been hired to ship them probably has no clue what’s in the crates. Soon they’ll be on board some aircraft, headed to an undisclosed destination. The thought of it makes him think about the rest of his family and their trip to the Bahamas—the one they’d planned to take once Connor was unwound. He wonders if they went—would they still take their vacation, even after Connor had kicked-AWOL? Sure they would. They were planning to take it once he got unwound, so why would his escape stop them? Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if they were being shipped to the Bahamas too?

“We’re gonna suffocate! I know it!” announces the Mouth Breather.

“Will you shut up?” says Connor. “I’m sure there’s more than enough air in here for us.”

“How do you know? I can barely breathe already—and I got asthma, too. I could have an asthma attack in here and die!”

“Good,” says Connor. “One less person breathing the air.”

That shuts Emby up, but Connor feels bad having said it. “No one’s going to die,” he says. “Just relax.”

And then Hayden says, “At least dying’s better than being unwound. Or is it? Let’s take a poll—would you rather die, or be unwound?”

“Don’t ask things like that!” snaps Connor. “I don’t want to think about either.” Somewhere outside of their little crated universe, Connor hears a metal hatch closing and can feel the vibration in his feet as they begin to taxi. Connor waits. Engines power up—he can feel the vibration in his feet. He’s pushed back against the wall as they accelerate. Hayden tumbles into him, and he shifts over, giving Hayden room to get comfortable again.

“What’s happening? What’s happening?” cries Emby.

“Nothing. We’re just taking off.”

“What! We’re on a plane?”

Connor rolls his eyes, but the gesture is lost in the darkness.

The box is like a coffin. The box is like a womb. Normal measures of time don’t seem to apply, and the unpredictable turbulence of flight fills the dark space with an ever-present tension.

Once they’re airborne, the four kids don’t speak for a very long time. Half an hour, an hour maybe—it’s hard to tell. Everyone’s mind is trapped in the holding pattern of their own uneasy thoughts. The plane hits some rough air. Everything around them rattles. Connor wonders if there are kids in crates above them, below them, and on every side. He can’t hear their voices if they are. From where he sits, it feels like the four of them are the only ones in the universe. Emby silently relieves himself. Connor knows because he can smell it—everyone can, but no one says anything. It could just as easily have been any one of them—and depending on how long this trip is, it still could be.

Finally, after what feels like forever, the quietest of them all speaks.

“Unwound,” Diego says. “I’d rather be unwound.”

Even though it’s been a long time since Hayden posed the question, Connor knows immediately what it refers to. Would you rather die or be unwound? It’s like the question has hung in the cramped darkness all this time, waiting to be answered.

“Not me,” says Emby. “Because if you die, at least you go to Heaven.”

Heaven? thinks Connor. More likely they’d go to the other place. Because if their own parents didn’t care enough about them to keep them, who would want them in Heaven?

“What makes you think Unwinds don’t go?” Diego asks Emby.

“Because Unwinds aren’t really dead. They’re still alive . . . sort of. I mean, they have to use every single part of us somewhere, right? That’s the law.”

Then Hayden asks the question. Not a question, the question. Asking it is the great taboo among those marked for unwinding. It’s what everyone thinks about, but no one ever dares to ask out loud.

“So, then,” says Hayden, “if every part of you is alive but inside someone else . . . are you alive or are you dead?”

This, Connor knows, is Hayden bringing his hand back and forth across the flame again. Close enough to feel it, but not close enough to burn. But it’s not just his own hand now, it’s everyone’s, and it ticks Connor off.

“Talking wastes our oxygen,” Connor says. “Let’s just agree that unwinding sucks and leave it at that.”

It shuts everyone up, but only for a minute. It’s Emby who talks next.

“I don’t think unwinding is bad,” he says. “I just don’t want it to happen to me.”

Connor wants to ignore him but can’t. If there’s one thing that Connor can’t abide, it’s an Unwind who defends unwinding. “So it’s all right if it happens to us but not if it happens to you?

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Ooh,” says Hayden. “This is getting good.”

“They say it’s painless,” says Emby—as if that were any consolation.

“Yeah?” says Connor. “Well, why don’t you go ask all the pieces of Humphrey Dunfee how painless it was?”

The name settles like a frost around them. The jolts and rattles of turbulence grow sharper.

“So . . . you heard that story too?” says Diego.

“Just because there are stories like that, doesn’t mean unwinding is all bad,” says Emby. “It helps people.”

“You sound like a tithe,” says Diego.

Connor finds himself personally insulted by that. “No, he doesn’t. I know a tithe. His ideas might have been a little bit out there, but he wasn’t stupid.” The thought of Lev brings with it a wave of despair. Connor doesn’t fight it—he just lets it wash through him, then drain away. He doesn’t know a tithe; he knew one.

One who has certainly met his destiny by now.

“Are you calling me stupid?” says Emby.

“I think I just did.”

Hayden laughs. “Hey, the Mouth Breather is right—unwinding does help people. If it wasn’t for unwinding, there’d be bald guys again—and wouldn’t that be horrible?”

Diego snickers, but Connor is not the least bit amused. “Emby, why don’t you do us all a favor and use your mouth for breathing instead of talking until we land, or crash, or whatever.”

“You might think I’m stupid, but I got a good reason for the way I feel,” Emby says. “When I was little, I was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. Both my lungs were shutting down. I was gonna die. So they took out both my dying lungs and gave me a single lung from an Unwind. The only reason I’m alive is because that kid got unwound.”

“So,” says Connor, “your life is more important than his?”

“He was already unwound—it’s not like I did it to him. If I didn’t get that lung, someone else would have.”

In his anger, Connor’s voice begins to rise, even though Emby’s only a couple of feet away at most. “If there wasn’t unwinding, there’d be fewer surgeons, and more doctors. If there wasn’t unwinding, they’d go back to trying to cure diseases instead of just replacing stuff with someone else’s.”

And suddenly the Mouth Breather’s voice rings out with a ferocity that catches Connor by surprise.

“Wait till you’re the one who’s dying and see how you feel about it!”

“I’d rather die than get a piece of an Unwind!” Connor yells back.

The Mouth Breather tries to shout something else, but instead goes into a coughing fit that lasts for a whole minute. It gets so bad, it frightens even Connor.

It’s like he might actually cough up his transplanted lung.

“You okay?” asks Diego.

“Yeah,” says Emby, trying to get it under control. “Like I said, the lung’s got asthma. It was the best we could afford.”

By the time his coughing fit is over, it seems there’s nothing more to say.

Except this:

“If your parents went to all that trouble,” asks Hayden, “why were they having you unwound?”

Hayden and his questions. This one shuts Emby down for a few moments.

It’s clearly a tough topic for him—maybe even tougher than it is for most Unwinds.

“My parents didn’t sign the order,” Emby finally says. “My dad died when I was little, and my mom died two months ago. That’s when my aunt took me in. The thing is, my mom left me some money, but my aunt’s got three kids of her own to put through college, so . . .”

He doesn’t have to finish. The others can connect the dots.

“Man, that stinks,” says Diego.

“Yeah,” says Connor, his anger at Emby now transferred to Emby’s aunt.

“It’s always about money,” Hayden says. “When my parents were splitting up, they fought over money, until there was none left. Then they fought over me. So I got out before there was none of me left, either.”

Silence falls again. There’s nothing to hear but the drone of the engine, and the rattle of the crates. The air is humid and it’s a struggle to breathe. Connor wonders if maybe the Fatigues miscalculated about how much air they had. We’re all gonna die in here. That’s what Emby said. Connor bangs his head back sharply against the wall, hoping to jar loose the bad thoughts clinging to his brain. This is not a good place to be alone with your thoughts. Perhaps that’s why Hayden feels compelled to talk.

“No one ever answered my question,” Hayden says. “Looks like no one has the guts.”

“Which one?” asks Connor. “You’ve got questions coming out of you like farts on Thanksgiving.”

“I was asking if unwinding kills you, or if it leaves you alive somehow. C’mon—it’s not like we haven’t thought about it.”

Emby says nothing. He’s clearly been weakened by coughing and conversation. Connor’s not interested in volunteering either.

“It depends,” says Diego. “Depends on where your soul is once you’re unwound.”

Normally Connor would walk away from a conversation like this. His life is about tangibles: things you can see, hear, and touch. God, souls, and all that has always been like a secret in a black box he couldn’t see into, so it was easier to just leave it alone. Only now, he’s inside the black box.

“What do you think, Connor?” asks Hayden. “What happens to your soul when you get unwound?”

“Who says I even got one?”

“For the sake of argument, let’s say you do.”

“Who says I want an argument?”

“Ijolé! Just give him an answer, man, or he won’t leave you alone.”

Connor squirms, but can’t squirm his way out of the box. “How should I know what happens to it? Maybe it gets all broken up like the rest of us into a bunch of little pieces.”

“But a soul isn’t like that,” says Diego. “It’s indivisible.”

“If it’s indivisible,” says Hayden, “maybe an Unwinds spirit stretches out, kind of like a giant balloon between all those parts of us in other places. Very poetic.”

Hayden might find poetry in it, but to Connor the thought is terrifying. He tries to imagine himself stretched so thin and so wide that he can reach around the world. He imagines his spirit like a web strung between the thousand recipients of his hands, his eyes, the fragments of his brain—none of it under his control anymore, all absorbed by the bodies and wills of others. Could consciousness exist like that? He thinks about the trucker who performed a card trick for him with an Unwinds hand. Did the boy who once owned that hand still feel the satisfaction of performing the trick? Was his spirit still inexplicably whole, even though his flesh had been shuffled like that deck of cards, or was he shredded beyond all hope of awareness—beyond Heaven, Hell, or anything eternal? Whether or not souls exist Connor doesn’t know. But consciousness does exist—that’s something he knows for sure. If every part of an Unwind is still alive, then that consciousness has to go somewhere, doesn’t it? He silently curses Hayden for making him think about it . . . but Hayden isn’t done yet.

“Here’s a little brain clot for you,” says Hayden. “I knew this girl back home. There was something about her that made you want to listen to the things she had to say. I don’t know whether she was really well-centered, or just psychotic. She believed that if someone actually gets unwound, then they never had a soul to begin with. She said God must know who’s going to be unwound, and he doesn’t give them souls.”

Diego grunts his disapproval. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“This girl had it all worked out in her head,” continued Hayden. “She believed Unwinds are like the unborn.”

“Wait a second,” says Emby, finally breaking his silence. “The unborn have souls. They have souls from the moment they get made—the law says.”

Connor doesn’t want to get into it again with Emby, but he can’t help himself. “Just because the law says it, that doesn’t make it true.”

“Yeah, well, just because the law says it, that doesn’t make it false, either. It’s only the law because a whole lot of people thought about it, and decided it made sense.”

“Hmm,” says Diego. “The Mouth Breather has a point.”

Maybe so, but the way Connor sees it, a point ought to be sharper than that.

“How can you pass laws about things that nobody knows?”

“They do it all the time,” says Hayden. “That’s what law is: educated guesses at right and wrong.”

“And what the law says is fine with me,” says Emby.

“But if it weren’t for the law, would you still believe it?” asks Hayden. “Share with us a personal opinion, Emby. Prove there’s more than snot in that cranium of yours.”

“You’re wasting your time,” says Connor. “There’s not.”

“Give our congested friend a chance,” says Hayden.

They wait. The sound of the engine changes. Connor can feel them begin a slow descent, and wonders if the others can feel it too. Then Emby says, “Unborn babies . . . they suck their thumbs sometimes, right? And they kick. Maybe before that they’re just like a bunch of cells or something, but once they kick and suck their thumbs—that’s when they’ve got a soul.”

“Good for you!” says Hayden. “An opinion! I knew you could do it.”

Connor’s head begins to spin. Was it the plane’s banking, or a lack of oxygen?

“Connor, fair is fair—Emby found an opinion somewhere in his questionable gray matter. Now you have to give yours.”

Connor sighs, not having the strength to fight anymore. He thinks about the baby he and Risa so briefly shared. “If there’s such a thing as a soul—and I’m not saying that there is—then it comes when a baby’s born into the world. Before that, it’s just part of the mother.”

“No, it’s not!” says Emby.

“Hey—he wanted my opinion, I gave it.”

“But it’s wrong!”

“You see, Hayden? You see what you started?”

“Yes!” Hayden says excitedly. “It looks like we’re about to have our own little Heartland War. Pity it’s too dark for us to watch it.”

“If you want my opinion, you’re both wrong,” says Diego. “The way I see it, it’s got nothing to do with all of that. It has to do with love.”

“Uh-oh,” says Hayden. “Diego’s getting romantic. I’m moving to the other end or the crate.”

“No, I’m serious. A person don’t got a soul until that person is loved. If a mother loves her baby—wants her baby—it’s got a soul from the moment she knows it’s there. The moment you’re loved, that’s when you got your soul. Punto!”

“Yeah?” says Connor. “Well, what about all those babies that get storked—or all those kids in state schools?”

“They just better hope somebody loves them some day.”

Connor snorts dismissively, but in spite of himself, he can’t dismiss it entirely, any more than he can dismiss the other things he’s heard today. He thinks about his parents. Did they ever love him? Certainly they did when he was little. And just because they stopped, it didn’t mean his soul was stolen away . . . although sometimes to admit that it felt like it was. Or at least, part of it died when his parents signed the order.

“Diego, that’s really sweet,” Hayden says in his best mocking voice. “Maybe you should write greeting cards.”

“Maybe I should write them on your face.”

Hayden just laughs.

“You always poke fun at other people’s opinions,” says Connor, “so how come you never give your own?”

“Yeah,” says Emby.

“You’re always playing people for your own entertainment. Now it’s your turn. Entertain us.”

“Yeah,” says Emby.

“So tell us,” says Connor, “in The World According to Hayden, when do we start to live?”

A long silence from Hayden, and then he says quietly, uneasily, “I don’t know.”

Emby razzes him. “That’s not an answer.”

But Connor reaches out and grabs Emby’s arm, to shut him up—because Emby’s wrong. Even though Connor can’t see Hayden’s face, he can hear the truth of it in his voice. There was no hint of evasion in Hayden’s words. This was raw-honesty, void of Hayden’s usual flip attitude. It was perhaps the first truly honest thing Connor had ever heard him say. “Yes, it is an answer,” Connor says.

“Maybe it’s the best answer of all. If more people could admit they really don’t know, maybe there never would have been a Heartland War.”

There’s a mechanical jolt beneath them. Emby gasps.

“Landing gear,” says Connor.

“Oh, right.”

In a few minutes they’ll be there, wherever “there” is. Connor tries to guess how long they’ve been in the air. Ninety minutes? Two hours? There’s no telling what direction they’ve been flying. They could be touching down anywhere. Or maybe Emby was right. Maybe it’s piloted by remote control and they’re just ditching the whole plane in the ocean to get rid of the evidence. Or what if it’s worse than that? What if . . . what if . . .

“What if it’s a harvest camp after all?” says Emby. Connor doesn’t tell him to shut up this time, because he’s thinking the same thing.

It’s Diego who answers him. “If it is, then I want my fingers to go to a sculptor. So he can use them to craft something that will last forever.”

They all think about that. Hayden is the next to speak.

“If I’m unwound,” says Hayden, “I want my eyes to go to a photographer—one who shoots supermodels. That’s what I want these eyes to see.”

“My lips’ll go to a rock star,” says Connor.

“These legs are definitely going to the Olympics.”

“My ears to an orchestra conductor.”

“My stomach to a food critic.”

“My biceps to a body builder.”

“I wouldn’t wish my sinuses on anybody.”

And they’re all laughing as the plane touches down.

28. Risa

Risa doesn’t know what went on in Connor’s crate. She assumes guys talk about guy things, whatever those things are. She has no way of knowing that what occurred in his crate was a reenactment of what happened in her own, and in almost every other container on the plane. Fear, misgivings, questions rarely asked, and stories rarely told. The details are different, of course, as are the players, but the gist is the same. No one will discuss these things again, or even acknowledge having ever discussed them at all, but because of it, invisible bonds have been forged. Risa has gotten to know an overweight girl prone to tears, a girl wound up from a week of nicotine withdrawal, and a girl who was a ward of the state, just like her—and also just like Risa, an unwitting victim of budget cuts.

Her name is Tina. The others told their names, but Tina’s is the only one she remembers.

“We’re exactly the same,” Tina had said sometime during the flight. “We could be twins.” Even though Tina is umber, Risa has to admit that it’s true. It’s comforting to know there are others in the same situation, but troubling to think her own life is just one of a thousand pirate copies. Sure, the Unwinds from state homes all have different faces, but otherwise, their stories are the same. They even all have the same last name, and she silently curses whoever it was who determined that they should all be named Ward—as if being one weren’t enough of a stigma.

The plane touches down, and they wait.

“What’s taking so long?” asks the nicotine girl, impatiently. “I can’t stand this!”

“Maybe they’re moving us to a truck, or another plane,” suggests the pudgy girl.

“They’d better not be,” says Risa. “There’s not enough air in here for another trip.”

There’s noise—someone’s outside the crate. “Shhh!” says Risa. “Listen.” Footsteps. Banging. She hears voices, although she can’t make out what the voices say. Then someone unlatches a side of the crate and pulls it open a crack.

Hot, dry air spills in. The sliver of light from the plane’s hold seems bright as sunlight after the hours of darkness.

“Is everyone all right in there?” It’s not a Fatigue—Risa can tell right away.

The voice is younger.

“We’re okay,” Risa says. “Can we get out of here?”

“Not yet. We gotta open all the other crates first and get everyone some fresh air.” From what Risa can see, this is just a kid her age, maybe even younger.

He wears a beige tank top and khaki pants. He’s sweaty, and his cheeks are tan.

No, not just tan: sunburned.

“Where are we?” Tina asks.

“The graveyard,” says the kid, and moves on to the next crate.

In a few minutes the crate is opened all the way, and they’re free. Risa takes a moment to look at her travel companions. The three girls look remarkably different from her memory of them when they first got in. Getting to know someone in blind darkness changes your impression of them. The large girl isn’t as overweight as Risa had thought. Tina isn’t as tall. The nicotine girl isn’t nearly as ugly.

A ramp leads down from the hold, and Risa must wait her turn in a long line of kids leaving their crates. Rumors are already buzzing. Risa tries to listen, and sort the fact from fiction.

“A buncha kids died.”

“No way.”

“I heard half the kids died.”

“No way!”

“Look around you, moron! Does it look like half of us died?”

“Well, I just heard.”

“It was just one crateful that died.”

“Yeah! Someone says they freaked out and ate each other—you know, like the Donner party.”

“No, they just suffocated.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I saw them, man. Right in the crate next to mine. There were five guys in there instead of four, and they all suffocated.”

Risa turns to the kid who said that. “Is that really true, or are you just making it up?”

Risa can tell by the unsettled look on his face that he’s sincere. “I wouldn’t joke about something like that.”

Risa looks for Connor, but her view is limited to the few kids around her in line. She quickly docs the math. There were about sixty kids. Five kids suffocated.

One-in-twelve chance it was Connor. No, because the boy who saw into the dead crate said there were guys in there. There were only thirty guys in all. One-in-six chance it was Connor. Had he been one of the last ones in? Had he been shoved into an overpacked crate? She didn’t know. She had been so flustered when they were rousted that morning, it was hard enough to keep track of herself, much less anyone else. Please, God, let it not be Connor. Let it not be Connor. Her last words to him had been angry ones. Even though he had saved her from Roland, she was furious at him. “Get out of here!” she had screamed. She couldn’t bear the thought of his dying with those being her last words. She couldn’t bear the thought of his dying, period.

She bangs her head on the low opening of the cargo hold on her way out.

“Watch your head,” says one of the kids in charge.

“Yeah, thanks,” says Risa. He smirks at her. This kid is also dressed in Army clothes, but he’s too scrawny to be a military boeuf. “What’s with the clothes?”

“Army surplus,” he says. “Stolen clothes for stolen souls.”

Outside the hold, the light of day is blinding, and the heat hits Risa like a furnace. The ramp beneath her slopes to the ground, and she has to stare at her feet, squinting to keep from stumbling. By the time she reaches the ground, her eyes have adjusted enough to take in their surroundings. All around them, everywhere, are airplanes, but there’s no sign of an airport—just the planes, row after row, for as far as the eye can see. Many are from airlines that no longer exist. She turns to look at the jet they just arrived on. It carries the logo of FedEx, but this craft is a sorry specimen. It seems about ready for the junkyard. Or, thinks Risa, the graveyard . . .

“This is nuts,” one kid beside Risa grumbles. “It’s not like this plane is invisible. They’re going to know exactly where the plane has gone. We’re going to be tracked here!”

“Don’t you get it?” says Risa. “That jet was just decommissioned. That’s how they do it. They wait for a decommissioned plane, then load us in as cargo. The plane was coming here anyway, so no one’s going to miss it.”

The jets rest on a barren hardpan of maroon earth. Distant red mountains poke up from the ground. They are somewhere in the Southwest.

There’s a row of port-o-potties that already have anxious lines. The kids shepherding them count heads and try to maintain order in the disoriented group. One of them has a megaphone.

“Please remain under the wing if you’re not using the latrine,” he announces. “You made it this far, we don’t want you to die of sunstroke.”

Now that everyone’s out of the plane, Risa desperately searches the crowd until she finally finds Connor. Thank God! She wants to go to him, but remembers that they’ve officially ended their fake romance. With two dozen kids between them, they briefly make eye contact, and exchange a secret nod. That nod says everything. It says that what happened between them yesterday is history; today, everything starts fresh.

Then she sees Roland there as well. He meets her eye and gives her a grin.

That grin says things too. She looks away, wishing he had been in the suffocation crate. She considers feeling guilty for such a nasty wish, then realizes that she doesn’t feel guilty for wishing it at all.

A golf cart comes rolling down the rows of airliners, kicking up a plume of red dust in its wake. The driver is a kid. The passenger is clearly military. Not military surplus, either—he’s the real thing. Instead of green or khaki, he’s in navy blue. He seems accustomed to the heat—even in his hot uniform, he doesn’t appear to sweat. The cart stops before the gathered hoard of juvenile refugees.

The driver steps out first, and joins the four kids who had been leading them. The loud kid raises his megaphone. “May I have your attention! The Admiral is about to address you. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen.”

The man steps out of the golf cart. The kid offers him the megaphone, but he waves it away. His voice needs no amplification. “I’d like to be the first to welcome you to the graveyard.”

The Admiral is well into his sixties, and his face is full of scars. Only now does Risa realize that his uniform is one from the war. She can’t recall whether these were the colors of the pro-life or pro-choice forces, but then, it doesn’t really matter. Both sides lost.

“This will be your home until you turn eighteen or we procure a permanent sponsor willing to falsify your identification. Make no mistake about it: What we do here is highly illegal, but that does not mean we don’t follow the rule of law. My law.”

He pauses, making eye contact with as many kids as he can. Perhaps it’s his goal to memorize each and every face before his speech is done. His eyes are sharp, his focus intense. Risa believes he can know each of them just by a single sustained glance. It’s intimidating and reassuring at the same time. No one will fall between the cracks in the Admiral’s world.

“All of you were marked for unwinding yet managed to escape, and, through the help of my many associates, you have found your way here. I don’t care who you were. I don’t care who you’ll be when you leave here. All I care about is who you are while you’re here—and while you’re here, you will do what is expected of you.”

A hand goes up in the crowd. It’s Connor. Risa wishes it wasn’t. The Admiral takes time to study Connor’s face before saying, “Yes?”

“So . . . who are you, exactly?”

“My name is my business. Suffice it to say that I am a former admiral of the United States Navy.” And then he grinned. “But now you could say I’m a fish out of water. The current political climate led to my resignation. The law said it was my job to look the other way, but I did not. I will not.” Then he turns to the crowd and says loudly, “No one gets unwound on my watch.”

Cheers from all those assembled, including the khaki kids that were already a part of his little army. The Admiral gives a wide grin. His smile shows a set of perfectly straight, perfectly white teeth. It’s a strange disconnect, because, while his teeth are sparkling, the rest of him seems worn down to the nub.

“We are a community here. You will learn the rules and you will follow them, or you will face the consequences, as in any society. This is not a democracy; it is a dictatorship. I am your dictator. This is a matter of necessity. It is the most effective way to keep you hidden, healthy, and whole.” Then he gives that smile again. “I like to believe I am a benevolent dictator, but you can make that judgment for yourselves.”

By now, his gaze has traveled over the entire crowd. All of them feel as though they have been scanned like groceries at a checkout counter. Scanned and processed.

“Tonight you will all sleep in the newcomers’ quarters. Tomorrow your skills will be assessed, and you’ll be assigned to your permanent squads. Congratulations. You’ve arrived!”

He takes a moment to let that last thought sink in, then he returns to his golf cart and is spirited off, with the same cloud of red dust billowing behind him.

“Is there still time to get back into the crate?” some wiseguy says. A bunch of kids laugh.

“All right, listen up,” yells the megaphone kid. “We’re going to walk you to the supply jet, where you’ll get clothes, rations, and everything else you’ll need.”

They are quick to find out that the megaphone kid has earned the nickname “Amp.” As for the Admiral’s driver, he’s been stuck with “Jeeves.”

“It’s a long walk,” Amp says. “If anyone can’t make it, let us know. Anyone who needs water now, raise your hand.”

Nearly every hand goes up.

“All right, line up here.”

Risa lines up along with the rest of them. There’s buzzing and whispering from the line of kids, but it’s nowhere near as desperate as it had been in the weeks past. Now, it’s more like the buzz of kids in a school lunch line.

As they’re led off to be clothed and fed, the jet that brought them here is towed to its final resting place in the massive junkyard. Only now does Risa take a deep breath and release it, along with a month’s worth of tension. Only now does she allow herself the wonderful luxury of hope.

29. Lev

More than a thousand miles away, Lev is about to arrive as well. The destination, however, is not his own: It’s Cyrus Finch’s. Joplin, Missouri. “Home of the Joplin High Eagles—reigning state champions in girls’ basketball,” CyFi says.

“You know a lot about the place.”

“I don’t know anything about it,” CyFi grumbles. “He knows. Or knew. Or whatever.”

Their journey has gotten no easier. Sure, they have money now, thanks to Lev’s “deal” at that pawnshop, but the money’s only good for buying food. It can’t get them train tickets, or even bus tickets, because there’s nothing more suspicious than underage kids paying their own fare.

For all intents and purposes, things between Lev and CyFi are the same, with one major, unspoken exception. CyFi might still be playing the role of leader, but it’s Lev who is now in charge. There’s a guilty pleasure in knowing that CyFi would fall apart if Lev weren’t there to hold him together.

With Joplin only twenty miles away, Cy’s twitching gets bad enough that even walking is difficult for him. It’s more than just twitching now—it’s a shuddering that wracks his body like a seizure, leaving him shivering. Lev offers him his jacket, but Cy just swats him away. “I ain’t cold! It’s not about bein’ cold! It’s about being wrong. It’s about there being oil and water in this brain of mine.”

Exactly what Cy must do when he gets to Joplin is a mystery to Lev—and now he realizes that Cy doesn’t know either. Whatever this kid—or this bit of kid—in his head is compelling him to do, it’s completely beyond Cy’s understanding.

Lev can only hope that it’s something purposeful, and not something destructive . . . although Lev can’t help but suspect that whatever the kid wants, it’s bad. Really bad.

“Why are you still with me, Fry?” CyFi asks after one of his body-shaking seizures. “Any sane dude woulda taken off days ago.”

“Who says I’m sane?”

“Oh, you’re sane, Fry. You’re so sane, you scare me. You’re so sane, it’s insane.”

Lev thinks for a while. He wants to give Cyrus a real answer, not just something that chases away the question. “I’m staying,” Lev says slowly, “because someone has to witness what happens in Joplin. Someone’s got to understand why you did it. Whatever it is.”

“Yeah,” says CyFi. “I need a witness. That’s it.”

“You’re like a salmon swimming upstream,” Lev offers. “It’s inside you to do it. And it’s inside me to help you get there.”

“Salmon.” Cy looks thoughtful. “I once saw this poster about a salmon. It was jumping up this waterfall, see? But there was a bear at the top, and the fish, it was jumping right into the bear’s mouth. The caption beneath—it was supposed to be funny—said, “The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly. ”

“There’s no bear in Joplin,” Lev tells him. He doesn’t try to cheer Cy up with any more analogies, because Cy’s so smart, he can find a way to make anything sound bad. One hundred and thirty IQ points all focused on cooking up doom.

Lev can’t hope to compete with that.

The days go by, mile by mile, town by town, until the afternoon they pass a sign that says,

30. Cy-Ty

There is no peace in CyFi’s his head. The Fry doesn’t know how bad it is.

The Fry doesn’t know how the feelings crash over him like storm-driven waves pounding a failing seawall. The wall is going to collapse soon, and when it does, Cy will lose it. He’ll lose everything. His mind will spill out of his ears and down the drains of the streets of Joplin. He knows it.

Then he sees the sign. NOW ENTERING JOPLIN. His heart is his own, but it pounds in his chest, threatening to burst—and wouldn’t that be a fine thing?

They’d rush him to a hospital, give him someone else’s ticker, and he’d have that kid to deal with too.

This boy in the corner of his head doesn’t talk to him in words. He feels. He emotes. He doesn’t understand that he’s only a part of another kid. It’s like how in a dream you know some things, and other things you should know, but you don’t.

This kid—he knows where he is, but he doesn’t know he’s not all here. He doesn’t know he’s part of someone else now. He keeps looking for things in Cyrus’s head that just aren’t there. Memories. Connections. He keeps looking for words, but Cyrus’s brain codes words differently. And so the kid hurls out anger. Terror.

Grief. Waves pounding the wall, and beneath it all, there’s a current tugging Cy forward. Something must be done here. Only the kid knows what it is.

“Would it help to have a map?” asks the Fry. The question gets Cy mad.

“Map won’t help me,” he says. “I need to see stuff. I need to be places. A map is just a map. It ain’t being there.”

They stand at a corner on the outskirts of Joplin. It’s like divining for water.

Nothing looks familiar. “He doesn’t know this place,” Cy says. “Let’s try another street.”

Block after block, intersection after intersection, it’s the same. Nothing.

Joplin is a small town, but not so small that a person could know all of it. Then, at last they get to a main street. There are shops and restaurants up and down the road. It’s just like any other town this size, but—

“Wait!”

“What is it?”

“He knows this street,” says Cy. “There! That ice cream shop. I can taste pumpkin ice cream. I hate pumpkin ice cream.”

“I’ll bet he didn’t.”

Cyrus nods. “It was his favorite. The loser.” He points a finger at the ice cream shop and slowly swings his arm to the left. “He comes walking from that direction. . . .” He swings his arm to the right. “And when he’s done, he goes that way.”

“So, do we track where he comes from, or where he goes?”

Cy chooses to go left but finds himself at Joplin High, home of the Eagles.

He gets an image of a sword, and instantly knows. “Fencing. The kid was on the fencing team here.”

“Swords are shiny,” the Fry notes. Cy would throw him a dirty look if he weren’t right on target. Swords are, indeed, shiny. He wonders if the kid ever stole swords, and realizes that, yes, he probably did. Stealing the swords of opposing teams is a time-honored tradition of fencing.

“This way,” says the Fry, taking the lead. “He must have gone from school, to the ice cream shop, to home. Home is where we’re going, right?”

The answer comes to Cy as an urge deep in his brain that shoots straight to his gut. Salmon? More like a swordfish twisting on a line, and that line is pulling him relentlessly toward . . . “Home,” says Cy. “Right.”

It’s twilight now. Kids are out in the street; half the cars have headlights on.

As far as anyone knows, they’re just two neighborhood kids, headed wherever neighborhood kids go. No one seems to notice them. But there’s a police car a block away. It was parked, but now it begins moving.

They pass the ice cream parlor, and as they do, Cyrus can feel the change inside him. It’s in his walk, and in the way he holds himself. It’s in all the tension points of his face: They’re changing. His eyebrows lower, his jaw opens slightly.

I’m not myself. That other kid is taking over. Should Cy let it happen, or should he fight it? But he knows it’s already past the point of fighting. The only way to finish this is to let it happen.

“Cy,” says the kid next to him.

Cy looks at him, and although part of him knows it’s just Lev, another part of him panics. He instantly knows why. He closes his eyes for a moment and tries to convince the kid in his head that the Fry is a friend, not a threat. The kid seems to get it, and his panic drops a notch.

Cy reaches a corner and turns left like he’s done it a hundred times. The rest of him shudders as he tries to keep up with his determined temporal lobe. Now a feeling comes on him. Nervous, annoyed. He knows he must find a way to translate it into words.

“I’m gonna be late. They’re gonna be so mad. They’re always so mad.”

“Late for what?”

“Dinner. They gotta eat it right on time, or I get hell for it. They could eat it without me, but they won’t. They don’t. They just stew. And the food goes cold. And it’s my fault, my fault, always my fault. So I gotta sit there and they ask me how was my day? Fine. What did I learn? Nothing. What did I do wrong this time? Everything.” It’s not his voice. It’s his vocal chords, but it’s not his voice coming out of them. Same tones, but different inflections. A different accent. Like the way he might have talked if he came from Joplin, home of the Eagles.

As they turn another corner, Cy catches sight of that cop car again. It’s behind them, following slowly. No mistake about it: It’s following. And that’s not all. There’s another police car up ahead, but that one’s just waiting in front of a house. His house. My house. Cy is the salmon after all, and that police car is the bear. But even so, he can’t stop. He’s got to get to that house or die trying.

As he nears the front walk, two men get out of a familiar Toyota parked across the street. It’s the dads. They look at him, relief in their faces, but also pain. So they knew where he was coming. They must have known all along.

“Cyrus,” one of them calls. He wants to run to them. He wants them to just take him home, but he stops himself. He can’t go home. Not yet. They both stride toward him, getting in his path, but smart enough not to get in his face.

“I gotta do this,” he says in a voice he knows isn’t his at all.

That’s when the police leap from their cars and grab him. They’re too strong for him to fight them off, so he looks at the dads. “I gotta do this,” he says again. “Don’t be the bear.”

They look at each other, not understanding what he means—but then, maybe they do, because they step aside and say to the cops, “Let him go.”

“This is Lev,” Cyrus says, amazed that the Fry is willing to risk his own safety to stand by Cy now. “Nobody bothers him, either.” The dads take a brief moment to acknowledge the Fry, but quickly return their attention to Cyrus.

The cops frisk Cy to make sure he has no weapon, and, satisfied, they let him go on toward the house. But there is a weapon. It’s something sharp and heavy. Right now it’s just in a corner of his mind, but in a few moments it won’t be. And now Cy’s scared, but he can’t stop.

There’s a police officer at the front door talking in hushed tones to a man and a woman standing at the threshold. They glance nervously at Cy.

The part of Cy that isn’t Cy knows this middle-aged couple so well, he’s hit by a lightning bolt of emotions so violent he feels like he’ll incinerate.

As he walks toward the door, the flagstone path seems to undulate beneath his feet like a fun-house floor. Then finally he’s standing before them. The couple look scared—horrified. Part of him is happy at that, part of him sad, and part of him wishes he could be anyplace else in the world, but he no longer knows which part is which.

He opens his mouth to speak, trying to translate the feelings into words.

“Give it!” he demands, “Give it to me, Mom. Give it to me, Dad.”

The woman covers her mouth and turns away. She presses out tears like she’s a sponge in a fist.

“Tyler?” says the man. “Tyler, is that you?”

It’s the first time Cyrus has a name to go with that part of him. Tyler. Yes. I’m Cyrus, but I’m also Tyler. I’m Cy-Ty.

“Hurry!” Cy-Ty says. “Give it to me—I need it now!”

“What? Tyler,” says the woman through her tears, “What do you want from us?”

Cy-Ty tries to say it, but he can’t get the word. He can’t even get the image straight. It’s a thing. A weapon. Still the image won’t come, but the action does.

He’s miming something. He leans forward, puts one arm in front of the other.

He’s holding something long, angling it down. He thrusts both arms lower. And now he knows it’s not a weapon he seeks, it’s a tool. Because he understands the action he’s miming. He’s digging.

“Shovel!” he says with a breath of relief. “I need the shovel.”

The man and woman look at each other. The policeman beside them nods, and the man says, “It’s out in the shed.”

Cy-Ty makes a beeline through the house and out the back door with everyone following behind him: the couple, the cops, the dads, and the Fry. He heads straight for the shed, grabs the shovel—he knew exactly where it was—and heads toward a corner of the yard, where some twigs stick out of the ground.

The twigs have been tied to form lopsided crosses.

Cy-Ty knows this corner of the yard. He feels this place in his gut. This is where he buried his pets. He doesn’t know their names, or even what kind of animals they were, but he suspects one of them was an Irish setter. He gets images of what happened to each of them. One met up with a pack of wild dogs. Another with a bus. The third, old age. He takes the shovel and thrusts it into the ground, but not near any of their graves. He’d never disturb them. Never. Instead, he presses his shovel into the soft earth two yards behind the graves.

He grunts with every thrust of the shovel, hurling the dirt wildly to the side. Then, at just about two feet down, the shovel hits something with a dull thud. He drops to all fours and begins scooping out the earth with his hands.

With the dirt cleared away, he reaches in, grabs a handle, and tugs, tugs, tugs until it comes up. He’s holding a briefcase that’s waterlogged and covered with mud. He puts it on the ground, flicks open the latches, and opens it.

The moment he sees what’s inside, Cy-Ty’s entire brain seizes. He’s frozen in a total system lockup. He can’t move, can’t think. Because it’s all so bright, so shiny in the slanted red rays of the sun. There are so many pretty things to look at, he can’t move. But he must move. He must finish this.

He digs both of his hands into the jewelry-filled briefcase, feeling the fine gold chains slide over his hands, hearing the rattle of metal against metal. There are diamonds and rubies, zircons and plastic. The priceless and the worthless, all mixed in together. He doesn’t remember where or when he stole any of it, he only knows that he did. He stole it, hoarded it, and hid it. Put it in its own little grave, to dig up when he needed it. But if he can give it back, then maybe . . .

With hands tangled in gold chains more binding than the handcuffs on the policemen’s belts, he stumbles toward the man and woman. Bits and pieces, rings and pins fall from the tangled bundle into the brush of the yard. They slip through his fingers, but still he holds on to what he can until he’s there in front of the man and woman, who now hold each other as if cowering in the path of a tornado. Then he falls to his knees, drops the bundle of shiny things at their feet, and, rocking back and forth, makes a desperate plea.

“Please,” he says. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“Please,” he says, “Take it. I don’t need it. I don’t want it.”

“Please,” he says. “Do anything. But don’t unwind me.”

And all at once Cy realizes that Tyler doesn’t know. The part of that boy which comprehends time and place isn’t here, and never will be. Tyler can’t understand that he’s already gone, and nothing Cy can do will ever make him understand. So he goes on wailing.

“Please don’t unwind me. I’ll do anything. Please don’t unwind me. Pleeeeeeeease . . .”

Then, behind him, he hears a voice.

31. Lev

“Tell him what he needs to hear!” Lev says. He stands there with such wrath in him he feels the earth itself will split from his anger. He told Cy he’d witness this. But he can’t witness it and not take action.

Tyler’s parents still huddle together, comforting each other instead of comforting Cy. It makes Lev even more furious.

“TELL HIM YOU WON’T UNWIND HIM!” he screams.

The man and woman just look at him like stupid rabbits. So he grabs the shovel from the ground and swings it back over his shoulder like a baseball bat.

“TELL HIM YOU WONT UNWIND HIM, OR I SWEAR I’LL BASH YOUR WORTHLESS HEADS IN!” He’s never spoken like this to anyone. He’s never threatened anyone. And he knows it’s not just a threat—he’ll do it. Today, he’ll hit a grand slam if he has to.

The cops reach for their holsters and pull out their guns, but Lev doesn’t care.

“Drop the shovel!” one of them yells. His gun is trained at Lev’s chest, but Lev won’t drop it. Let him shoot. If he does, I’ll still get in one good swing at Tyler’s parents before I go down. I might die, but at least I’ll take one of them with me. In his whole life, he’s never felt like this before. He’s never felt this close to exploding.

“TELL HIM! TELL HIM NOW!”

Everything freezes in the stand-off: the cops and their guns, Lev and his shovel. Then finally the man and woman end it. They look down at the boy rocking back and forth, sobbing over the random pieces of tangled jewelry he’s spread at their feet.

“We won’t unwind you, Tyler.”

“PROMISE HIM!”

“We won’t unwind you, Tyler. We promise. We promise.”

Cy’s shoulders relax, and although he still cries, they’re no longer sobs of desperation. They’re sobs of relief.

“Thank you,” Cy says. “Thank you . . .”

Lev drops the shovel, the cops lower their guns, and the tearful couple escape toward the safety of their home. Cyrus’s dads are there to fill the void.

They help Cyrus up and hold him tight.

“It’s all right, Cyrus. Everything’s going to be okay.”

And through his sobs, Cy says, “I know. It’s all good now. It’s all good.”

That’s when Lev takes off. He knows he’s the only variable in this equation left to resolve, and in a moment the cops are going to realize that. So he backs into the shadows while the officers are still distracted by the scurrying couple, and the crying kid, and the two dads, and the shiny things on the ground. Then, once he’s in the shadows, he turns and runs. In a few moments they’ll know he’s gone, but a few moments is all he needs. Because he’s fast. He’s always been fast.

He’s through the bushes, into the next yard, and onto another street in ten seconds.

The look on Cy’s face as he dropped the jewelry at the feet of those horrible, horrible people, and the way they acted, as if they were the ones being victimized—these things will stay with Lev for the rest of his life. He knows he’s been changed by this moment, transformed in some deep and frightening way.

Wherever his journey now takes him, it doesn’t matter, because he has already arrived there in his heart. He’s become like that briefcase in the ground—full of gems yet void of light, so nothing sparkles, nothing shines.

The last bit of daylight is gone from the sky now; the only color left is dark blue fading to black. The streetlights have not yet come on, so Lev dodges through endless shades of pitch. The better to run. The better to hide. The better to lose himself now that darkness is his friend.