Tymora's luck

OFFSTAGE

Somewhere else in the Prime Material Plane known as Realmspace, Polly Thax unfastened the top four buttons on her blouse and put her hand on the doorknob of the palace's exhibition hall.

"Maiden of Misfortune, pass me by, kiss my enemies," Polly murmured as she turned the doorknob. The door was not locked; it opened noiselessly. Polly slipped into the exhibition hall and closed the door behind her.

The room was well lit from hundreds of magical lanterns suspended from the ceiling. Polly did not spy anyone else in the room. Wielding her feather duster over a row of nude statues, Polly made her way toward the center of the room.

"What do you think you're doing here?" a stern male voice demanded.

Polly started and whirled around. The Hulorn himself, the hereditary mayor of Selgaunt, stood there. Polly's eyes widened.

Once upon a time the Hulorn's blue eyes and curly black hair and boyish charm had attracted more than his share of women. But that was twenty years ago. Now he was a plump middle-aged man of average height. He was still a man of power, however.

"Well?" the Hulorn prompted.

Tm dusting, sir," Polly replied in a quivering voice. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you, sir. I'll come back later."

The Hulorn put his arm out, resting his hand on a glass cabinet containing several ivory carvings of sea mammals, effectively blocking Polly's exit. "No one is to be in this hall without the presence of a guard," he said. "I suppose they forgot to tell you," he suggested with a grin that made clear he supposed no such thing.

"I don't know, sir," Polly replied. "I forget things sometimes."

The Hulorn licked his lips and gave Polly a thorough examination with his eyes. Then he tilted his head to one side and said, "I don't suppose you'd like to see the Eyes of the Sea Queen."

Polly's eyes widened with wonder. "Oh, yes, sir," she replied. "I would love to see them." The look the Hulorn had given her did not distress her in the least. In fact, she'd been counting on it.

The Hulorn led her to a glass case in the center of the room. There, on a white velvet pillow, shining softly like full moons, were two pearls the size of oranges. They were the largest ever discovered in the Realms.

"They're beautiful," Polly gasped.

"Nearly as lovely as your eyes," the Hulorn said, taking a step closer. "Though I suppose men say that sort of thing to you all the time."

Polly smiled, and her eyes met the Hulorn's gaze without a trace of modesty. "Those that have the courage," she replied.

"Would you like to hold them?" he asked.

"May I?" Polly asked.

The Hulorn whispered a brief incantation, and the glass case popped open with a whoosh. The Hulorn reached in and withdrew both pearls. He held them out, Polly tucked her feather duster under one arm and took a pearl in each hand. She held the smooth-surfaced gems to her cheeks and smiled with ecstasy. The feather duster under her arm clattered to the floor.

"Oh!" Polly exclaimed.

"Allow me," the Hulorn said. He knelt down, but instead of scooping up the feather duster, he slid his hands beneath her skirt and rested them on her calves.

While the Hulorn was thus occupied, Polly dropped the pearls down her blouse and drew out a leather blackjack from the pocket of her apron. With a quick, practiced motion Polly slammed the blackjack into the back of the Hulorn's head. He went out like a light, sprawling at Polly's feet. With two pairs of long silk stockings pulled from another pocket, Polly bound and gagged the Hulorn. Then she took his keys from his pocket and retrieved her feather duster. Once she'd slipped from the exhibition hall, she locked the door behind her with the stolen key. After rebuttoning her blouse, she moved quite unhurriedly down the servant's staircase and hung her feather duster in the appropriate cabinet. Taking up a broom, she swept her way through the kitchen, brushing the dirt out the kitchen door. She left the broom by the door and made her way unhurriedly along the garden path, pulling weeds from the onion beds. No one seeing her would suspect she was anything but a parlor maid, kitchen maid, or gardener.

At the garden gate, she retrieved a sack containing a guard's leather jerkin and a helm, and slid the pearls into a hidden pocket in the leather jerkin. Then she slipped off her apron and skirt and donned the leather jerkin and helm. She hung the skirt on a line behind the laundry. At the castle gate, one of the guards gave her a saucy wink and she winked back.

She was strolling through the busy city streets when a horn sounded in the castle yard. Polly turned and looked as surprised as the other pedestrians as troops of guards charged down the street, stopping any woman dressed as a servant. For a while she leaned against a wall and watched the interrogations. As the guards moved down the street, she followed them, blending in with the guards, helping to search some poor, luckless women who looked like her in the most superficial of ways. Then she slipped down a side street and made her way to the dock, where her buyer awaited with payment-the papers that transferred ownership of a Selgaunt carrack and its load of rare cargo to her name.

As she slipped out of Selgaunt's harbor aboard her new ship, she breathed a sigh of pleasure. She was rid of this city of snobs forever.

"We're being flagged by one of Selgaunt's navy vessels, ma'am," the captain of the ship reported. "They're demanding to board us."

"Ignore them," Polly said.

"We may not be able to outrun them."

"I have every confidence in you, Captain," Polly said.

The captain left the ship owner to shout orders to the crew. Polly stood at the rail and once again called on her goddess. This time her request was more of a shout than a whisper. "Maid of Misfortune, pass by me; kiss my enemies."

Polly had no doubt Beshaba would come to her aid. She had made all the right offerings. She imagined a snapped rudder or perhaps a fallen mast, but Beshaba manifested her favor in a far more powerful way.

The ship rose and fell as a great swell passed beneath it. The swell grew as it approached the land. It caught the Selgaunt navy vessel chasing Polly's ship and carried it along on its crest. By the time it reached the city harbor, the swell had become a wall of water.

The water crashed down on Selgaunt, smashing the dockside buildings and depositing the navy vessel, plus several others, in the city streets. The Selgaunt docks were carried back out to sea.

Polly smiled wickedly.

"That's that," she said.

Then she heard a roar behind her. A second tidal wave, even more monstrous than the first, caught her ship on its gigantic crest and swept it inland at a breathtaking pace. Once more Polly called on Beshaba to take her enemies, but there were no enemies left. The water slammed into the Sembian peninsula two miles south of Selgaunt and heaved Polly's vessel inland a hundred feet, dashing it against a cliff. The ship splintered like a child's toy, and its crew and owner were scattered across the beach below. Their corpses were found mingled with the vessel's rare cargo; the farmer who buried them was richly rewarded.