Two Spirits

CHAPTER 1

The oppressive feeling of having his life completely out of control settled around Trey Masters like a heavy fog. Could it be any worse?

His stomach clenched as soon as he thought it. Yeah. Yeah, it could be a hell of a lot worse. He could be in some unmarked grave or at the bottom of the ocean. The Veron family could still be ruining lives with him as an unwitting accomplice and his students or the kids he coached as victims.

Trey closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cold window of the police cruiser. He wasn’t sorry for what he’d done. There’d been no choice but to do the right thing. He was an elementary schoolteacher, for god’s sake. What kind of a man would he be if he’d said no when the Feds showed up and asked him to help them bring down a powerful family making and distributing child pornography?

No, he wasn’t sorry he’d helped. Even if he’d known beforehand that Patricia Veron made a deadly, vengeful enemy, he would have kept sleeping with her and kept pretending everything was okay because he’d been desperately clinging to the illusion of heterosexuality.

Bile rose in his throat as he wondered if he might eventually have asked her to marry him if the Feds hadn’t stepped in. He wanted to believe the answer was no.

Old feelings of self-loathing threatened to return but Trey ruthlessly stomped them down. Pretending, yeah, he was good at that. Pretending and denial had been a part of his life since he was twelve years old and got an erection thinking about his best friend.

He’d been convinced he was going straight to hell then. He’d become certain of it when the fantasies become more detailed and erotic as he grew older.

Fag. Queer. Pervert. The names were knives with the power to shred lives. He’d seen what happened when other kids got labeled. He’d done everything in his power to avoid it. In high school he’d become a track star, a debate team captain, the boy who never lacked for a date or a girl willing to let him touch her breasts and cunt.

In college it was more of the same. He’d continued to run track though he’d traded the debate team for the school paper. There’d been fewer girls but the ones he did go out with, he’d fucked, wanting to convince himself he was straight.

After he graduated there’d been his first teaching job, followed by a second one when he’d moved back home because his mother was starting to show the signs of the disease that would come to define both of their lives. Even if he hadn’t already been steeped in years of denying his core self, he wouldn’t have acknowledged his sexuality then, not in his devoutly religious mother’s house.

On the outside, he’d been the successful son his mother had wanted. But on the inside, with each year that passed, he’d had to work harder and harder to suppress the truth of what he really was. Gay.

Trey grimaced. What a word. Gay. There was nothing about being homosexual that made him even remotely happy, much less lighthearted and carefree. Then again, when had he ever allowed himself to act on a same-sex attraction? Never.

Maybe it was time to stop pretending. Maybe when this was over and it was safe to involve someone else in his life…

Trey rubbed his chest. The dull ache was still there months after the funeral even though the truth was he’d lost his mother years ago to frontotemporal dementia—FTD to those unfortunate enough to have someone they love suffer from the fatal condition that shrinks the lobes in the brain controlling personality and speech.

It was a relief to know she was at peace now. She would have hated knowing what she’d become. Only his memories of how much she’d loved and sacrificed as she’d raised him on her own had helped Trey hang on as the disease turned her into a verbally abusive and embarrassing stranger.

A flash of lightning followed by the crack of thunder made him open his eyes. The cop driving grunted and said, “They might as well have sent you to Alaska. Christ, who picked this place?”

Trey didn’t have an answer as he looked out at Hohoq. It was supposed to be his refuge but seemed more like a dreary prison. He counted five buildings and prayed the mist pressing in on the police car was hiding the rest. A glance was enough to extinguish any hope for a bookstore or a library. He’d probably end up grateful for a TV getting more than one or two channels.

The car slowed to a halt in front of an old-fashioned sign swinging on heavy chains. Sheriff.

“Grab your stuff,” the cop said as he cut the engine and placed his hand on the door handle. “As soon as I make the official handoff, I’m out of here.”

“Sure thing. I know you’re in a hurry.”

“Bet your ass I am. My wife’ll kill me if I’m not back and on the plane to Vegas with her.”

Trey rubbed his chest again, this time as twinges of envy slid through him. He wanted what the cop had, a nice heterosexual lifestyle with a wife at his side both at home and out in public.

He wanted it, but he knew it wasn’t going to happen unless he was willing to spend the rest of his life living a lie—or unless he stopped letting what others think define how he lived. There were cities where it’d be no big deal to be openly gay. There were liberal school districts and communities where people understood being gay didn’t equal being a child molester—far from it, and the statistics proved the point. Most of the sick scum who preyed on children were heterosexual.

Trey snagged the single duffle bag he’d had time to pack in his mad rush to get out of the house and into an informal protective custody arrangement. Maybe when this was all over he’d take a trip somewhere and…what…hit a gay bar, check out the personals? Yeah, right.

His virgin ass was so obvious it glowed. He’d attract every predator in town.

He opened the car door and was hit with a blast of wet icy wind. It was enough to bring Trey’s thoughts clearly back to the here and now.

Survival. That was key. Even with his heaviest jacket on, he felt like he was freezing by the time he made it the short distance into the sheriff’s office. His cop escort was already making the handoff to a man Trey figured was the sheriff, though he was surprised at the thick braid accompanying the Native American features.

“He’s all yours,” the cop said. “No sign of Patricia Veron, but that doesn’t mean she won’t surface for some payback.”

“So expect trouble?” the sheriff asked, the answer lost on Trey as another man stepped into the room.

Trey stiffened, cock-first. He buried his hands in his pockets and was grateful the jacket was long enough to cover a boner that’d scream fag if any of the other men noticed it.

Stop fighting it. If you’d accepted it earlier you’d never have been sleeping with Patricia Veron and none of this would have happened.

Trey ducked his head and tried to get himself under control. Think small town and just how notorious cops are for being close-minded when it comes to queers. It didn’t help. In that split second of awareness an image had burned into his mind and his cock wasn’t going to let him forget it.

Tenino was having a hard time paying attention to the conversation between the city cop and Tekoa. His gaydar was pinging and his cock was at attention and ready to serve in the line of duty. It was the last thing he’d expected when he stepped into the office.

He’d been dreading hauling a stranger out to his cabin, but now…blond hair, blue eyes, a neat ponytail he could already see himself freeing and spreading out across the sheets on his bed… Tenino could hardly wait for introductions.

Ever since his cousins Ukiah and Tekoa had found their mates, he’d been feeling the need to settle. He didn’t hold out any hope he’d have a mate in the truest sense of the word, a forever lover who could join him in flight when the storm called and the Thunderbird spirit rose. For that to happen he’d have to find one among The People, which didn’t seem likely since not many of them were bisexual, much less one hundred percent gay like him.

His heart ached when he thought too hard about not having that ultimate spiritual connection, so mainly he didn’t think about it. He lived. He had sex when he could get it. He’d even spent some time as a cop in Los Angeles and San Francisco, but in the end the pull of the land had been too strong. Now he was back to stay and ready to begin and end each day in the arms of a longtime lover, though finding one was proving to be difficult.

Tenino studied the blond who seemed to be trying his best to ignore his presence. Shy? He’d never found it attractive in men though it could be kind of cute in women.

He could make an exception for the blond. Besides, the blond was going to find it hard to stay shy at the cabin. The place was small. They’d be bumping into each other every time they turned around.

Tenino grinned. Bumping and grinding wasn’t going to be a hardship.

He tried to remember exactly what Tekoa had told him about his soon-to-be guest. It hadn’t been much. Friend of a friend asking a favor, the possibility of some danger so Tekoa didn’t want the stranger at his cabin or at the lodge his brother Ukiah owned. Both places had women there now.

That’s all Tenino remembered. He shrugged off the need for more information. It’d come. The grin widened. Hopefully he’d come.

The blond looked up at the mention of his name. Trey.

The sound of it stroked over Tenino’s cock. He closed his eyes briefly as the image of him lying on top of Trey, whispering the name as he thrust, flashed through his thoughts. Tenino extended his hand when Tekoa made the introduction. Trey’s eyes met his and slid away quickly. His shoulders hunched just enough to make him shrink inside his coat.

Tenino turned to shake hands with the cop. The cop’s face was flushed and his expression said it wasn’t because of the heat in the office. He’d caught the way Tenino was devouring Trey with his eyes.

Tough shit, Tenino thought. Deal with it.

“You going to be okay here?” the cop asked Trey. “If you’re not good with this, you can ride back with me.”

“I’m good,” Trey said, emotion churning in the pit of his stomach while his heart raced like a rabbit’s.

The cop didn’t waste any time leaving. Trey looked everywhere except at Tenino, until Tenino said, “The cabin’s remote, might as well grab something to eat in town. You hungry?”

Trey’s eyes met Tenino’s. White heat flashed though him along with the skittering, nervous fear that came with standing at the edge of a high dive before jumping to the water below. “Cabin?”

Tenino’s smile was pure sin. “Can’t put you somewhere it’ll be easy for the bad guys to find you. So are you up for some dinner?”

“Yes.” It was all Trey could manage and thankfully Tenino turned his attention to the sheriff. “What about you? You eating in town or waiting ‘til you get to your place?”

“I don’t think food will be on the menu by the time I get back home.”

“Torture me why don’t you?”

The sheriff laughed. He placed his hand on Tenino’s shoulder. “Your turn’s coming.”

“I’m not like you.”

“I never thought I’d find what I needed either. But look what dropped in my lap. Look what happened with Ukiah. Your turn’s coming. Maybe it’s already here.”

Tekoa’s glance flicked to Trey and back to Tenino and made the ball of want and trepidation grow in Trey’s stomach. His cock grew harder at the words. His breath grew a little short. He’d always considered himself good at reading between the lines— or at least he had until the desire for a straight lifestyle had blinded him to the truth about Patricia Veron and her family. It almost sounded as if—

He shook his head, cleared it, reminded himself he was in a nowhere town with a couple of law-and-order types. Just because he was ready…make that close to ready…to accept his sexuality did not mean the first guy who got his heart racing and his cock head slick with arousal was gay.

It was going to be bad enough having to share a cabin with Tenino. The last thing he needed was to act like a sixteen-year-old with a crush. Yeah, Tenino’s smile had caused what little blood remained in Trey’s head to shoot south, but thinking about it with his big head instead of his little one, Trey realized Tenino was probably envisioning inviting some women over and having some fun.

Trey wasn’t vain about his looks. He’d never had trouble attracting the opposite sex. He’d just lacked the true desire to do it. And he could see how his blond-haired, blue-eyed appearance was a great contrast to Tenino’s darker one.

The color in Trey’s face deepened when he realized both Tenino and Tekoa were looking at him, maybe waiting for him to answer some question he hadn’t heard. He picked up the duffle, said, “I’m ready.”

Apparently it was the right response. They left the office, only stopping long enough to throw the duffle into a Jeep with the sheriff’s department logo on the side of it before walking to a nearby restaurant and claiming a table next to the window.

The rain hadn’t arrived yet, but it was coming. Flashes of lightning streaked across the sky and the peals of thunder arrived in shorter increments of time. The mist was heavy and gray, giving the town a mystical appearance and making Trey think of Native American myths and rural folktales.

“So what do you do when you’re not hiding from dangerous ex-girlfriends?” Tenino asked, drawing Trey’s attention away from the strangely mesmerizing scene outside the diner.

“I teach. Elementary school.”

Tekoa grunted. “You’re lucky the Feds approached you and asked for your help instead of hauling you in as a suspect.”

Trey shivered. He fought to keep the bile from rising in his throat and the nightmare scenarios that had him waking in a cold sweat from returning and destroying his hard-earned calm. All it took was suspicion to ruin a reputation and a career, to make life a living hell.

He gripped the menu to keep his hands from shaking. He wasn’t in the clear yet, wouldn’t know if he’d really survived until he was back home and applying for a teaching job.

The first thing he’d done after the Feds laid out their evidence and asked for his help was to call the principal at the school where he taught and arrange a meeting. They’d agreed on a plan of action, so the school wouldn’t be hurt and neither would Trey when the story broke about the Verons.

The Feds had done as promised. They’d made a point of telling the media Trey was never a suspect and had been instrumental in helping them build their case and shut down a child pornography operation.

But there was no going back to the way things were. Trey knew that.

Even though his principal had tried to talk him into staying, Trey couldn’t shake the need to move on. It was time to put some distance between himself and the city where he’d grown up denying his sexual orientation. It was time to leave the house he’d inherited from his mother, along with the guilt that came with being gay.

“Yeah, I was lucky,” Trey said, putting the menu on the table, his appetite gone.

Their waitress arrived and took Tenino and Tekoa’s orders. When she looked at Trey he said, “Nothing for me.”

“Get him what Tekoa and I are having,” Tenino said. “Otherwise he’s going to regret not eating once I get him to my place.”

The waitress lifted an eyebrow. There was no missing the speculation in her eyes.

Heat, confusion, the wild pounding of his heart kept Trey silent just long enough for the waitress to collect the menus and leave. He licked his lips, dared a glance at Tenino.

Their eyes met and held. Trey’s chest tightened. He fought the urge to grip his penis through the denim of his jeans at the bold, confident look on Tenino’s face—as if Tenino knew, as if he wanted.

Trey glanced away first. Conversation was beyond him and thankfully Tekoa and Tenino seemed comfortable with silence.

A foggy mist settled more heavily outside. The wind created the illusion of movement, caused imaginary forms to take shape in the swirling grayness. A memory pushed to the surface of Trey’s mind as a dark, birdlike shadow appeared and disappeared along with a peal of thunder.

Hohoq. It was one of the names for the thunderbird.

Remembering it made Trey look at the scene outside and see it as more than a stark, desolate prison. He loved collecting stories of supernatural beings and occurrences. And over the years, he’d found the promise of a good ghost story, the working of a legend or folktale into a lesson plan, helped his students learn and gave them an incentive for good behavior.

Lightning flashed, followed quickly by thunder. The shadow wings reappeared and seemed to spread further, as if the thunderbird was drawing closer, just as the storm was.

He knew there were a variety of beliefs when it came to thunderbirds. In some cultures they were protectors. In others they were the Creator’s messengers. At least one tradition held they lived as men but could take the form of a thunderbird when necessary. In almost every belief system the beat of their massive wings caused the thunder while lightning shot from their eyes.

Trey rubbed his chest as an odd sensation struck, making him think of talons reaching, sinking in, surrounding his heart and taking its measure, choosing to leave him alive and gifting him with a warmth that whispered of happiness and home, that felt like anticipation and hope.

When the waitress returned with a hamburger and fries, his stomach growled. Hunger returned in a rush and Trey started eating, very much aware of Tenino on the other side of the table.

“So what’s your take on the situation, Trey? Is there likely to be trouble?” Tenino asked.

Trey looked up to witness Tenino stabbing a fry in a pool of ketchup. It made him think of blood.

“If Patricia finds out where I am, then yes. The Feds now think she might have killed before, more than once, to keep her family’s secret safe. She’ll feel responsible for bringing them down and she’ll want to get even with me for betraying her. Her sister committed suicide when the story broke.”

This time Trey couldn’t hide the way his hands shook slightly. Patricia had nothing to lose. If she found him, it would end only one way—with one of them dead.

Revulsion filled him. He blocked his mind to the image of himself in bed with her. His hands lowered to the plate, but before he dropped the burger, Tenino reached over and snagged a fry, then a second one.

“Eat up. Weather’s getting worse. We need to get out of here.”

Trey found himself lifting the burger, eating. He tried not to think about how intimate it seemed to have Tenino casually helping himself to the fries—and failed.

Even without looking at the sheriff’s deputy, he was acutely aware of the other man’s every move, every glance.

In self-defense Trey turned his head to look out the window. A pickup truck with a camper shell on the back pulled to an angled stop in front of the diner. He had only a glimpse of a beautiful blonde before the man driving pulled her to him and they fogged the car windows with the passion they shared.

Longing filled Trey and made him ache. Finally the couple parted. The man got out, blond and beautiful like the woman. He walked around the truck and opened the door. After helping her out they lingered, kissing again, their bodies pressed tightly together and their arms locked around each other.

Trey’s cock pulsed, jerked at the sensuality, the sense of connection radiating from the couple. He barely registered Tenino saying, “Now that Clay and Jessica are back, I guess we shouldn’t expect to see you unless there’s an emergency.”

He barely noticed Tekoa leaving the diner. And then the sheriff was on the other side of the glass.

The woman smiled as she left her blond lover’s arms and slid into Tekoa’s. Tekoa’s lips took hers in kiss every bit as intimate and dominating as the one he’d interrupted and she clung, softened, seemed to melt against the sheriff. He lifted his head, said something to the blond and the blond laughed, leaned in, touched his mouth to Tekoa’s.

The brief kiss sent shock waves through Trey, made him grateful the tablecloth hung down far enough to prevent total humiliation as he gripped his erection to keep from disgracing himself. His face heated. His heartbeat became erratic. He felt as though his entire world had just shifted on its axis.