Time Slave

27

Hamilton opened her eyes. Her body stiffened, but she was held. She half lay, and was half sitting; Ugly Girl’s arm was about her shoulders, holding her up. She felt a gourd, broken, brimmed with water, held to her lips. She drank. She tried to pull away from Ugly Girl but could not do so. Ugly Girl, with the strength of her people, was much stronger than she. Then she drank again. Hamilton half lay, half sat, held by Ugly Girl, on a shelf of rock, on boughs. Hamilton moved her legs. She looked upon her ankles. They were free of leather capture shackles. Her hand went to her throat, half expecting to find a tether upon it. But she was not secured in any way. “Thank you,” she whispered to Ugly Girl, in the language of the Men. Ugly Girl grimaced, trying to imitate the smile of the Men. Ugly Girl withdrew the gourd, and withdrew her arm from about Hamilton. Hamilton drew her legs beneath her, on the shelf of rock. She was clothed. She wore a rough garment of crudely scraped skin, chewed and beaten. It covered her breasts, and body. The garment was too large for her, for the bodies of the women of the Ugly People are broader than those of the women of the Men; it was belted at the waist with a hide rope. On one of the short women of the Ugly People it would have fallen below the knees; on Hamilton, who was taller, it did not reach her knees.

Hamilton must have looked frightened, for Ugly Girl made soft clucking noises to her, to pacify her.

Hamilton looked out the wide mouth of the shallow cave. She could see brush, trees.

She could escape!

She reached out again for the gourd of water. Ugly Girl handed it to her, and, again Hamilton drank.

On the other side of the cave, squatting down, was the woman of the Ugly People. She was moving hide string through two pieces of leather, sewing. The large, widely set eyes looked up at Hamilton, curiously. Near her, standing against the other side of the cave, was a small boy, his head almost a fifth the size of his broad body; he was roundshouldered, long-armed; his jaw was receded; his hair had been cut with stone from his face; he might have been eight years of age.

He pointed at Hamilton, and said a word. Ugly Girl laughed. Hamilton felt uneasy.

The mother seemed to assent to what the boy had said. She, too, repeated the word, and looked down, smiling, to return to her sewing.

Hamilton tried to say the word. It was hard for her to pronounce.

Ugly Girl laughed at her miserable effort. It made Hamilton angry that Ugly Girl, in her stupidity, should laugh at one who was human.

Hamilton looked again to the wide mouth of the cave.

Her body, subtly, tensed. She was, concealing the intent, readying herself to dart for the opening. Ugly Girl, smiling, put her hand gently on Hamilton’s knee. She shook her head. Hamilton angrily brushed aside Ugly Girl’s hand. Then Hamilton looked away, as though to consider other parts of the cave. Ugly Girl stepped back. Hamilton swung her legs over the side of the shelf. Then, suddenly, Hamilton sprang to her feet and darted toward the opening. She stopped suddenly, almost losing her balance, some feet before the opening, for, at that moment, in the opening, appeared the short, broad frame of the male of the Ugly People. Hamilton, terrified, stepped back, retreating from him. In his hand he held the short ax, so mighty, yet more shortly handled than the axes of the Men. On his left shoulder, steadied there, by his left hand, was the body of a deer. He did not raise the ax against Hamilton, but regarded her, puzzled. Hamilton backed from him. Then, against her back, she felt the shelf of rock. But yesterday this brute, without a thought, save for the intercession of Ugly Girl, would have crushed her head between a rock and the blade of his ax. He looked at her. Hamilton approached him, submissively, looking down, and knelt before him, the monster, putting her head to the stone, desperate to pacify him, in her femaleness to make obeisance to the male in him, to be pleasing to him, to plead with him for her life. She, a human female, kissed the stone before the feet of the short, mighty male of the Ugly People. Then, timidly, trying to smile, she looked up. She was startled. He was regarding her, stupidly. The males of the Men, she knew, expected and demanded, thereby triggering and releasing, complete subservience behavior in their females; they produced stimulus situations in which her blood instincts had no choice but to bare themselves, detonating the fantastic psychophysiological reflex, or response, of female submission to the aggressive, mightier animal, the male. Cringing and smiling in a female, she knew, warded off male wrath; it indicated with her body that, if she should be spared, she would be his work object and his sexual pleasure-object. But the male of the Ugly People looked at her, puzzled. Then she realized that the males of the Ugly People did not relate to their females as did the males of the Men. They were of a different species. She rose to her feet, and backed away from him. He did not approach her. He looked to his own woman. Suddenly Hamilton felt contempt for him. He was a male. Yet he did not make her his slave. He could do so, if he wanted, but he did not do so. Hamilton felt emotions of both relief, for she did not wish to be the slave of the monster, and irritation, and frustration, for, triggered by fear, her slave reflex had not been satisfied. Too, suddenly, almost unaccountably in her mind, she despised the male of the Ugly People. He was strong, stronger even than most of the human males doubtless, but yet, too, so weak, so stupid. She saw, in his broad back, as he squatted near his woman, and threw the deer down to the floor of the cave, both weakness and strength. His woman rubbed her nose along the side of his neck, and he grunted and thrust his head to her shoulder. Hamilton stood back, her arms folded, her feet widely spread. She held the male of the Ugly People in contempt. She did not feel then he was a true male. He is weak, she thought. This kind will not survive. They are too weak to survive. The male, she thought, irritably, who does not make his female his slave, either cannot do so, and is a weakling, or is a fool. If I were a male, she thought, I would make my females slaves, the pretty, weak, lovely little things! Since when, in nature, does the strong not dominate the weak? Since the weak have crippled the strong, she told herself, thereby denying the strong their birthright, and, inadvertently, in the same act, to their own frustration, depriving themselves of theirs as well, the opportunity to join in that contest in which, in any normal situation, she will meet her defeat, that contest which, if truly carried out, must terminate with her conquest, her joyful, abject surrender to the will, the absolute domination, of the mightier animal, the male. She realized then that male dominance has little to do, directly, with physical strength, though it is customarily linked with it. An extremely strong man, physically, she recognized, could be, and sometimes was, a psychological weakling, emasculated and petty, unable to satisfy complete dimensions of a female’s nature; sometimes such men even prided themselves on this form of impotence; sometimes, Hamilton suspected, such men, out of hostility and spite, and self-hatred, and hatred for women, refused to recognize the desperate wants of their lovers, scorning them for the realities of their genetic nature; refusing to respond to the most obvious, most desperate and profound unspoken pleas; and should the woman repudiate her conditionings, cast aside her guilts, and, humiliating herself, shamelessly beg, “Dominate me!” such men, frightened, knowing themselves unable to fulfill her needs, might laugh at her, thus ventilating hysterical anxiety, or pretend not to understand, or look upon her strangely, and deny her, thus making her miserable, making her suffer, in a culturally approved form of sadism; the female is not, Hamilton conjectured, simply a physical organism, but a psychophysical organism, and her blood needs for submission to a male express themselves beautifully in the totality of her response, not only in the weakening of her body, its secretions, its heightened sensitivity, its helplessness, its readiness, but in her psychic vulnerability, helplessly willing, waiting for him to impress his will upon her, to command her; she is eager to be made a mere instrument of his pleasure, eager to be subjected to his will, eager to be ruthlessly, uncompromisingly, dominated, eager to be, should he have the courage, literally the slave girl of a master; and should she be fortunate, it is just that which, perhaps to a thrill of horror, she finds herself to be. Once Hamilton had attempted to make aggressive love to Tree. He had struck her, bringing blood to her mouth. “Lie still, and endure,” he had told her. “I will tell you when to touch and caress.” “Yes, Master,” she had whispered. Few men, Hamilton thought, are strong enough to satisfy the slave in a woman. Few women, she thought, though all wish to be stripped and subdued, are fortunate enough to find a Master. Across thousands of years, remote from her own time, in an age of peril and barbarism, she had found hers, a hunter called Tree.

Hamilton then looked at the broad-backed male of the Ugly People, squatting near his female, cutting the hide from the deer with the ax, and then ripping it with his teeth and fingers. He took a bit of meat from a rib and gave it to the woman, and then to the boy, and then to Ugly Girl, who joined them. They were not human, Hamilton knew. Then, no longer did she scorn the male of the Ugly People. Perhaps, to him, she was no more than a female monkey might have appeared to Tree, different, small, ungainly, of no interest sexually. This annoyed her to some extent, for she was vain of her beauty, but, too, she was relieved that he had not wanted her. He gave another piece of meat to the child. It was growing dark outside. Hamilton edged toward the mouth of the cave. They were of a different species. The innocence and cruelty with which a human hunter treated his human females was, apparently, not that of the Ugly People; too, she suspected, the deep needs in her own body, and in those of the other human females, to seek out and respond to sexual domination, were apparently much less pronounced in the Ugly People; they were less sexually driven, Hamilton conjectured, than humans; doubtless, they, too, had their dominance and submission behaviors, but such behavior seemed less clear cut, less evident, than in humans; their sexual drives were less she conjectured than those of humans; the sexes in the Ugly People, she recognized, shuddering, were much less clearly differentiated than in humans; she suspected they would not breed as well. They were an experiment in evolution quite different from that of humans, Hamilton recognized, an interesting alternative, one which humans would survive, but one which, in its long millennia, when all was said and done, should man destroy himself, might prove to have endured the longer span on the calendars of time. They seemed very gentle with one another.

Hamilton again eyed the large open mouth of the cave. It would be difficult to defend, she thought. They are fools, stupid. The shelters of the Men were more rational, more defensible. Hamilton did not realize that the best shelters were indeed those of the Men, and various other human groups. The Ugly People were peaceful. They were not as aggressive as men, nor as swift, nor as intelligent, nor as cruel. Accordingly they would take what little, if anything, was left. They would compete unsuccessfully with fiercer groups. As would Pygmies and Eskimos they would be driven farther and farther from desirable land, good hunting and adequate shelter; unlike Pygmies and Eskimos, clearly distinguishable as human types, the Ugly People were not human; human beings, loathing them, would not tolerate them as competitors; they, in a peculiarly intense fashion, with their mockery of human shape, would trigger the instinctual fear of the stranger, the different; they would be hunted down and exterminated. The man thrust a tiny piece of meat into the mouth of the boy, and then rubbed his bearded chin on the boy’s shoulder.

Hamilton suddenly bolted from the cave, running into the night.

In an instant Ugly Girl was up and after her.

Hamilton plunged through the night, cutting her feet, branches striking her body. She ran. Behind her, always, sometimes closer, sometimes farther, she heard Ugly Girl. Sometimes Hamilton stopped, to hide, to elude Ugly Girl, but each time, to her misery, Ugly Girl turned toward her, approaching. Then Hamilton realized that Ugly Girl, like a hunter, could follow her trail by smell; that, like a hunter, she might hear her breathing, even from yards away. Miserable, Hamilton would leap up and run again. Her hope was to outdistance Ugly Girl. But Ugly Girl seemed tireless. More than once, Ugly Girl called out to her, in the strange tongue of the Ugly People. Then, gasping, Hamilton turned and picked up a rock. Ugly Girl stopped, a shadow among the branches. “Go back! Go away!” said Hamilton. Ugly Girl spoke to her in the language of the Ugly People. “Stay away!” cried Hamilton, lifting the rock. Ugly Girl stepped toward her. Hamilton, with a cry of misery, flung the heavy rock. It hurtled past Ugly Girl. Hamilton struck at her. Briefly the girls grappled. Hamilton wildly bit and clawed, and scratched, weeping, screaming, at Ugly Girl, but Ugly Girl handled her with ease, with much the same ease with which a man might have handled her; the women of the Ugly People, Hamilton realized to her misery, were much stronger than human females; she was no match for her, no more than she would have been for a strong boy; Hamilton was thrown to her belly; Ugly Girl knelt across her body; the women of human beings had not been bred and sexually selected by males for sturdiness and strength, and independence, but for beauty, obedience, submissiveness, responsiveness to masculine domination; Hamilton wept as she felt the hide belt on her garment removed, and felt Ugly Girl pull her wrists behind her back, and, as though she might be a man, fasten them together. Ugly Girl then removed the belt from her own garment and tied its ends together and then, slipping one end of the loop behind Hamilton’s neck, passed the other end of the loop through the first, pulling it tight, putting Hamilton in a choke collar and short leash. She then dragged Hamilton to her feet. Since the leash was short

Hamilton had to walk bent over, at her side. Pulling Hamilton, half choking, beside her, Ugly Girl then returned to the mouth of the cave of the Ugly People. There was a fire there now, rather near the mouth, and various branches and rocks had been brought and put before the opening, to close it somewhat. But the opening had not been yet completely closed. Ugly Girl had not yet returned.

The male of the Ugly People,, and his woman, and the child, emerged from the cave.

Hamilton stood neat to Ugly Girl, bent over, her hands bound behind her back, in her simple choke collar and leash, helpless, a prisoner of Ugly Girl.

The child looked at her, and laughed.

He said the word she had heard before, and he laughed again, as did the male and the female.

“Please don’t eat me, or kill me,” she whispered.

The male and the woman, and the child returned to the cave. Then, to Hamilton’s astonishment, Ugly Girl removed the leash from her throat, and untying its ends, refastened it as her own belt. Then, to her greater astonishment, Ugly Girl untied her hands. Hamilton dared not run. Ugly Girl tied the belt about Hamilton, as it had been before. Then she stepped toward the mouth of the cave. Hamilton turned to face her. She was free. Ugly Girl gestured that she should enter the cave. She made a clucking noise.

Behind Hamilton, in the forest, she heard the roar of a leopard. She shuddered. Well did she recall the leopard which, long ago, had stalked her, which, to her good fortune, had been slain by Tree.

Again Ugly Girl gestured that she should enter the cave. Again, from the forest, closer this time, she heard the roar of the leopard. Swiftly, gratefully, she entered the cave.

Ugly Girl gestured that she should kneel beside the fire, where some of the meat from the slain deer was roasting on a stick. Hamilton would have knelt behind the male, but Ugly Girl shook her head and placed Hamilton by the fire. She knelt to the left of the woman; the child was on the woman’s right; the male squatted diagonally across from Hamilton; when Ugly Girl had closed the entrance to the cave with thick branches, she came and knelt between the child and the male. The male, with a sharp piece of flint, and a stick, separated pieces of meat from the roast. He gave a piece first to the child; he then gave a piece to the woman; then he gave a piece to Ugly Girl. Then he handed Hamilton a piece of meat. “Thank you,” she whispered. He then cut himself a piece of meat, a large one, and, holding it in two hands, squatting, grease running between his fingers, began to eat it.

That night Hamilton lay down beside Ugly Girl, in the cave of the Ugly People. She looked at the glowing redness of the embers of the fire.

“Can you understand me?” asked Hamilton of Ugly Girl, in the language of the Men.

Ugly Girl, her head illuminated by the redness, signified her assent, nodding her head. Ugly Girl, as Hamilton had suspected, understood much of the speech of the Men, but it was difficult for her to repeat the sounds. Hamilton, too, of course, would have found it difficult to imitate, with adequate exactness, the phonemes of the Ugly People. There was, she suspected, subtle differences in the anatomy of the throat, a thicker, less nimble tongue, a different oral cavity, and, too, of course, a somewhat differently formed brain, with a speech center wrought through an evolution divergent for generations from that of the human.

“What is the word by which they address me?” asked Hamilton. “What is it they call me?”

Ugly Girl repeated the word.

“Yes,” said Hamilton. “What does it mean?”

Ugly Girl crawled over to the fire. She knelt by it. Hamilton joined her there.

Ugly Girl repeated the word. She made, in the sign language common to many of the groups of humans, the name sign, pointing to Hamilton. Tooth, and Fox, at the behest of Tooth, had taught her several signs.

“That is the name they have given me?” asked Hamilton. “It is my name here?”

Ugly Girl nodded.

“What does it mean?” asked Hamilton. She remembered how they had laughed at her, even the child.

Ugly Girl, with a twig, beside the fire, scratched an animal. Hamilton could not make it out. Then Ugly Girl made the sign in the, hand talk of the human groups. Hamilton then looked down. She then understood the drawing.

It was a drawing, primitive, simple, an outline drawing, but one now unmistakable. It was the drawing of a small, female bush pig. Hamilton leaned back on her heels, and smiled. “You are so ugly,”. signed Ugly Girl to her, and then, smiling, kissed her. Hamilton, among the people of Ugly Girl, was no longer the beauty, a casual, inadvertent movement of whose body might lead one of the hunters, to whom she and the other women belonged, to throw her on her back and, without ceremony or courtesy, rape her. Here, among the people of Ugly Girl, it was she, not Ugly Girl, who was the ugly girl. Ugly Girl, of course, among the men, had been used. They were fierce sometimes indiscriminatory breeders. Hamilton did not feel the male of the Ugly People would bother her. To her he seemed large, kind, and sexually sluggish. If he did wish to use her, of course, she would have to serve him, for she was a female. As a primitive woman she would have no choice but to obey the male, and do what he wished. Hamilton smiled to herself. Among the Ugly People, her name was “Sow.”

“What is your name?” asked Hamilton.

Ugly Girl laughed, an almost human laugh. She made the sign for “Flower.” Hamilton smiled.

“What is the name of your people?” asked Hamilton. She had thought only of them, in the habitual manner of the Men, as the Ugly People. She knew, of course, of the Horse People, who hunted horse on the prairies; she knew of the Bear People, with whom the Men sometimes exchanged women; of the Shell People, who traded shells; and of the Weasel People, enemies of the men; and of the Dirt People, vanished now, save for some of their females in the thongs of the Weasel People. “What is the name of your people?” asked Hamilton again of Ugly Girl.

Ugly Girl grinned, not responding.

Her people, this family, had taken her in, she, Hamilton, a female of an enemy kind, different even biologically from them, one displeasing to their senses. They had protected her, fed her, sheltered her.

“What is the name of your people?” asked Hamilton.

Swiftly Ugly Girl made the signs. “The Love People,” she said, in the hand talk of certain of the human groups.