Thieves of Light

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Pike's little "gotcha" soured Bhodi's enjoyment of the evening excursion. Right up to that moment, Bhodi had felt included and accepted. He knew that Pike was unscrupulous, but Pike was so casual about it and so genial that Bhodi could not make himself judge the Fop harshly.

Then suddenly he became Pike's victim instead of his audience, and the whole business looked very different. Bhodi had never much liked practical jokes, and this was no exception. It wasn't the money. It was the sharp reminder that he, Bhodi, was the outsider.

The incident even left Bhodi with some hard feelings toward Parcival, who not only didn't warn him but seemed to want Bhodi to join an I-was-stung-by-Pike fan club.

"Why are you holding a grudge?" Parcival said when they had a moment alone. "It's nothing personal. I lost all my armor to him on a bet I was sure I could win, and I had to ransom it back. He gets everyone sooner or later."

"That's what Haj said."

"See, you were warned-and he got you anyway. You even had all dinner to notice what had happened. He always gives you a chance to stop him."

Bhodi shook his head. "I guess I just don't expect people to do things like that."

"That's why Pike's important to the platoon. He helps us remember to think sneaky-not to take things for granted. Anyway, considering how you did with Tivia, he probably figured he'd better get you sooner, because you might not be here later."

"Is that what they're saying?"

"Well-more money says you won't get through your gunnery instruction than says you will."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I've got fifty on you making it."

"Thanks-I guess."

Parcival shrugged. "It's a heart bet, not a head bet."

"Why?"

"Don't you know who your instructor is?"

"No. Haj didn't tell me," Bhodi said. With a flash of anxiety, he added, "Don't tell me it's Lord Baethan."

"No. The Lord B. never works with trainees. Doesn't have enough patience with inferior life-forms."

"Who, then?"

Parcival nodded toward a big-bellied figure edging its way toward them through the crowd in the gaming parlor. "It's Pike."

Bhodi stared."Shit."

The next morning, Bhodi stood outside the door leading to the gunnery range and drew a deep breath. He was trying unsuccessfully to settle his nerves before entering.

Before they had left Dracona, Bhodi had won sixty units from Parcival and Pike in the gaming parlors. That was just about what their share of the dinner would have been, and Bhodi took enough satisfaction in the winning to forget if not forgive the business of the stray credit chip.

But there was still the matter of Bhodi's own harsh words, which he had not taken back. He had decided to apologize at the end of the evening, but lost his chance when Pike unexpectedly advised them that he was staying on Rejia for the night.

The announcement had come just as their taxi reached the flightline, five minutes before the scheduled departure of the night's final shuttle. Pike let Parcival and Bhodi clamber out first, then leaned forward to whisper an instruction in the driver's ear. The driver nodded, and the vehicle lurched forward.

"If you'll excuse me, my gentle companions, a certain young lady in the employ of Hop Zoid's modest establishment awaits my return," Pike had called to them, standing up backward as the taxi rolled away.

"Thanks, Uncle Pike," Parcival had called back, waving.

Pike saluted. "The pleasure if not the profit was all mine. Bhodi Li, sleep well."

There was no chance to say any more, not with the taxi disappearing into the gloom and the shuttle waiting.

Twelve hours later, Bhodi's imagination had turned that innocent parting into an ominous warning. Part of Bhodi was hoping that the young lady's charms had been sufficient to detain Pike on Rejia. But expecting otherwise, Bhodi had come prepared in fighting clothes and full armor, his helmet tucked under his arm.

Voices down the corridor told Bhodi that he would soon have company, and he did not want to be found standing outside a closed door like an idiot. Swallowing his apprehension, Bhodi touched the plate and ducked through the opening that appeared.

A moment later laser light splashed across his right shoulder just below the cop, slicing through the strap that held the armor piece in place. He reacted without thinking, without even feeling astonishment. Dropping his helmet,

Bhodi dove away to the left, and the cop came off as he shoulder-rolled to a crouched position.

He looked up to find Pike standing a half dozen paces away, looking at him down the sight-tube of a long-barreled phaser pistol.

"What-" Bhodi began.

Then he saw the muscles of the Fop's hand flex slightly, and Bhodi instinctively threw up his left arm to protect his face. A moment later the forearm guard fell to the floor, and Bhodi felt a blast of heat through the material of his suit.

Before the heat could become acutely painful, Bhodi sprang up with a spinning move and dashed for the door. He managed three steps before he felt the left cuisse loosen. It slid down his leg and his long strides kicked it against the wall.

He was almost to the door by then. But as he reached for the touchplate, a stabbing beam of laser light from Pike's phaser began to circle it like an electron orbiting a nucleus. To open the door, Bhodi would have to reach into the beam with no more protection than the thin fabric of his gauntlet.

Instead, Bhodi drew back his hand and turned to stare at Pike questioningly. As he did, Pike flicked the energy beam sideways, slicing the straps holding the holster cuisse in place, and Bhodi's last piece of armor dropped to the floor. The floor of the gallery was littered with equipment, like a battlefield after a slaughter.

"You have a bet down on me failing or something?" Bhodi demanded, finding his voice.

"Couldn't find anyone to take it," Pike said, tipping the barrel of his pistol ceilingward. "So I decided to go the other way and cover all the short bets. I got very good odds."

"Then why the target practice?"

Pike made the weapon disappear into his belly pocket. "I thought we'd get this business of a rematch out of the way right up front. Just in case you had the same notion about proving something to me that you did with Tivia."

Outrage and anger bubbled to the top of Bhodi's emotional kettle, released by the knowledge that the moment of danger had passed. "She at least took me on even," he snapped. "You might notice I don't have a pistol."

But even as he protested, Bhodi knew that his words were foolish. The pinpoint accuracy of Pike's phaser fire had made the point plainly: even armed, there was no way that he would have been on even terms with the Guardian.

"But you had weapons," Pike said lightly. "Or what was all your work with Tivia about?"

"Right," Bhodi said disdainfully. "I'm going to charge somebody who has a phaser pointed at me."

"Sometimes your choice is charge them or die-if the distance to your opponent is less than the distance to cover."

"That my first lesson?"

"No," Pike said, surveying the litter on the floor. "Your first lesson is that armor is not invulnerable. Go see the armorer. He'll issue you replacement straps-and an Allison B-5 phaser sidearm. When you return we'll start on the rest of the curriculum."

The Allison pistol was a hand-and-glove fit with the recess in the holster cuisse. A size-five glove and a size-six hand, that is. Drawing it was harder, it seemed to Bhodi, than it ought to have to be. There were two catches that had to be released to get the weapon free-one on the cuisse, and one on the pistol's grip.

"They sure don't make it easy to get this out fast," he complained to Pike.

"And why should they? The quick draw of your Western epics is foolish theatrics. Any warrior who doesn't have his weapon at the ready before he needs it is a fool who deserves to die young."

"You can't live with a gun in your hand."

Pike's expression darkened. "You can when the alternative is dying with it in your holster. Bhodi Li, your first job is to let go of what you think you know. You know nothing. If you continue to think otherwise, I'm going to lose a thousand units on you and you're going to find yourself back on Earth wondering why you feel lightheaded."

"What's the point? I'll never shoot like you."

"That's not the role planned for you. Look at me, Bhodi. I'm fast for my size, and reasonably agile. But do you think that I can run down a fleeing Arrian, or charge a battle nest? I'm specialized for sniping and fire support."

"Is that what they want from me? Charging nests of monsters? Is that how you got the vacancy in the platoon to begin with? No, thank you. You can send me back now."

Pike crossed his arms over his barrel chest. "What is the reason for your ambivalence, Bhodi Li? What has happened to the confident warrior I saw on the recordings Li-hon showed the platoon? What has happened to your boldness? What has happened to your great spirit?"

"That was a game!" Bhodi fairly shouted. "Don't you get it? Jesus, you could have killed me with that business this morning, and this is only the training! I ought to be going to Friday night football games and feeling up Denise at the school mixers. And Parcival-"

"What of Parcival?"

"Do you know he only really acts like a kid when you're around? It's like you're his father, letting him be his own age-"

"I know," Pike said, nodding. "I'm very happy to give him that. Do you know, when he first came to us he never laughed. He was always serious-always earnest."

"So he ought to be driving his teachers crazy and looking forward to puberty. What right do you have to take a kid like that and throw him in the middle of a war?"

"Are you going to tell me that he would have been better loved and cared for on Earth? Do you know anything of his story?"

Bhodi hesitated. "Yeah, a little."

"Then you know he's where he wants to be."

"He's too young to make that choice."

"You're wrong to judge him by his years," Pike said. "He understands the choice. Yes, he may die young. On his next mission, perhaps-none of us ever know when we go out whether we're coming back. But who are you to say that he shouldn't be allowed to make that choice?"

"Besides, you don't really care about Parcival," Pike pressed. "You're just using him to avoid talking about something else."

"I do, too, care. What d'you mean?"

"It's very simple and very obvious. You talk about protecting Parcival so you don't have to admit you're afraid."

"Hell, yes, I'm afraid," Bhodi snapped. "I'd be an idiot not to be."

"But are you afraid of failing, or succeeding?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bhodi sulked.

"No? I think perhaps you'd like to avoid having to face the third refusal. That way you can avoid facing the question of what you're made of, and go back to Earth and recapture the fantasy."

"The fantasy?"

"You had an image in your mind of what you were. We've taken that from you. You are not the best fighter here, not even the best of the challengers. Can you admit that, or is it too much honesty?"

His chest tight, Bhodi drew a breath before answering. "All right. There are a few that are better."

"To be specific, you currently rank forty-seventh out of fifty-two on the instructors' chart."

"I've only been here ten days!"

"And you've shown us anger, arrogance, impatience and ambivalence about your challenge."

"I worked hard on Ja-Nin."

"By your standards, perhaps so. Compared to other students, not so. And it is progress, not effort, which counts here."

"So what are you telling me? Go home? Quit before I'm fired?"

Pike settled on the floor and, with a sweep of his hand, invited Bhodi to do the same. "I'm telling you to examine yourself and decide what it is you want. Only when you know your goal will you have a chance of reaching it."

"That sounds real simple," Bhodi said, sitting back on his heels. "But it's not that easy."

"Then let me try to help. Why did you come here? Why did you make the first refusal?"

Bhodi hesitated.

"Honest answers, now."

Sighing, Bhodi stared up at the ceiling. Then he shook his head. "Jesus, I watched the shuttle blow up on TV at school and I figured that was it for space. And all of a sudden I'm looking down at old planet Earth and there's someone asking me if I want to see more. What else could I say?"

"And now-why do you stay? Now that you know the price of extending your sight-seeing tour."

Bhodi frowned. "I–I don't know."

"Do you want to go home?"

"No. Except sometimes I think, what if something happens to me and there's no one to go back and rescue my family from what they went through when I disappeared."

"If you die, their loss becomes real and their grief valid," said Pike. "Would you take that from them, too?"

Bhodi shook his head. "I guess I didn't think of that."

"Next question. Do you want to become a Guardian?"

"Yes-and no," Bhodi said after a moment's consideration. "Yes, because it would mean something. No, because I don't want to die."

Pike nodded understandingly. "Bhodi-this uncertainty is something that comes on nearly every challenger recruited from a world with no knowledge of the war. Your uncertainty is even stronger because you don't quite believe you can achieve what you reach for, and so are afraid to try."

There was an edge of defensiveness in Bhodi's voice. "What would you think if you'd been beaten as many ways as I have?"

"As I said before, we deprived you of the image you had of yourself. But Bhodi, understand that the reason you're here is that we have an image in our mind of what you can be."

"What do you mean?"

Pike leaned forward and rested his palms on the floor. "I'll tell you something you're not meant to know, Bhodi Li. There is nothing-nothing! — that you're being asked to do that you're not capable of doing. The tests you underwent when you arrived assured us of that."

"So?"

"So the question isn't whether you can, but whether you will. Commit yourself, give yourself to this fully, and I'll turn you into a warrior Li-hon and Tivia and even Lord B. will welcome into the platoon. Then you can face the question of staying or going home honestly."

Bhodi's expression was dubious. "You can do that for me?"

"Yes," Pike said gravely. "If you trust me." Bhodi stared, then began to snicker. "That's funny." Pike's expression softened, then he, too. started to laugh.

"It is, isn't it?"

"All right, Ferthewillihan Pike," Bhodi said, standing and thumbing the releases to bring his Allison into his hand. "Let's do it."