The Swords of Zinjaban

III - Princess Vázni

"Bloody wog tribal chief!" muttered Ordway. "Must dunk he's the Pope."

"You're just an ethnocentric bigot," said White. "I thought he treated us well enough. Not his fault you didn't know the rules."

"Don't be fooled," said Reith as their carriage rolled back to the inn. "He can put on the gracious manner, and he speaks the best English of any Krishnan I know after Ferrian. He's done some good things; but he's got a terminal case of the ruler's disease."

"What's that?" asked Ordway.

"Megalomania. He's unpredictable and quite ruthless with anyone who gets in his way. If you're keen to know what having your head cut off feels like, try pulling off those false whiskers."

At the inn, they washed up and changed into their best finery. When Alicia appeared, Reith stared, White gulped, and Ordway whistled. Reith asked: "Lish, could that dress be a copy of the one we bought together in Majbur, years ago?"

"It's the original," she said. "I've guarded it with my life, all the way to Terra and back. Is it still in styled' As Alicia paused to twirl like a model, the filmy violet gown, cut down to midriff level in front, swirled around her like a lilac mist.

Reith smiled fondly. "I haven't been to any Krishnan parties lately, but a gorgeous girl in a gown like that should set the styles, not follow them. I ought to remind you, though, that in the outback, some missionaries have persuaded the local rulers to forbid such—uh —displays of personal resources."

"What a shame!" laughed Alicia. "Every woman should be allowed to make the most of her assets. Are we ready to go?"

At the palace, the Terran guests found themselves on a receiving line that stretched through the anteroom and out into the hall. Everyone waited patiently for a quarter-hour, while the line failed to move. Reith asked the cause.

"His Altitude's betrothed is late, as usual," grumbled the courtier ahead of him. Behind Reith, Alicia whispered: "Fergus, I think the missionaries have been hitting the shaihan's eyes here. Not one woman is wearing a dress like mine."

Reith glanced up and down the lengthening line. "You lad me not! Not a tit in the tatting. It's not just fickle fashion, either; dames wear dresses like yours in other cities."

"I see I'll have to buy a new evening dress. Do you know where I might find one?"

"I don't think ready-mades can be bought in a town of this size. You'd have to hunt up a dressmaker." With a slightly shamefaced grin, Reith added: "I know, because I've had to take my women tourists shopping."

Alicia suppressed a snicker. "Poor Fergus, who always hated shopping so!"

The line began to move, like a sun-warmed serpent. As the Terrans inched forward, Reith saw that, inside the salon door, Dasht Gilan stood smiling the distinctive Krishnan smile at the head of a string of beaming officials. The Dasht, splendid in a flashing cuirass of gilded metal scales and scarlet tights, stood beside a handsome, mature Krishnan woman wearing an emerald gown and a gem-encrusted tiara in her dark-green hair. To Reith she looked uneasily familiar.

As each guest approached, a servitor repeated his name to the Dasht, who proffered his bejeweled hand to be kissed. The guests bowed to the Dasht's companion and greeted the remaining notables with the usual Krishnan thumb-grasping handshake. When at last the Terrans approached, the Dasht beamed. In English he cried: "Dear friends! It is good of you and your clients to honor our small gathering on such short notice! Permit me to present my affianced bride, the widow Vázni bad-Dushta'en. My dear, these visitors from across the nighted gulfs of space are Mr. Reith ... Doctor Dyckman ..."

As White and Ordway filed past, bowed stiffly, and were likewise named, Gilan's bride-to-be scarcely noticed; she and Reith were staring at each other in tardy recognition. Alicia looked sharply at both, her azure eyes widening.

"Are you in sooth Sir Fergus Reese?" said the fiancée in accented Gozashtandou. "My Fergus?" She pronounced it "fair-goss."

"That is my name," said Reith, struggling to control his features. "And you are ...

The smile of the Dasht evaporated, and his face became intent. To his betrothed he said: "Meanst that this Terran be he to whom you once—I had forgot—" Nearby officials stared, and a susurration of murmurs spread outwards like ripples in a pond.

"May it please Your Altitude!" interrupted Alicia in English. "Permit me to suggest that such matters were better discussed in private."

With a sigh of relief, Gilan drew himself up and forced a smile. "Your quickness of wit, dear madam, testifies to your right to the honorable tide of 'doctor.' I withdraw my remark of this afternoon; even I have been known to err." With the aplomb of a practiced courtier, he spoke graciously to the Terrans. "Mr. Ordway, Mr. White! I have reserved the third hour tomorrow for our conference. It shall take place upon the drill field, where later a parade and other entertainment will mark the opening of the fair."

The Dasht nodded a dismissal and turned to his next guest. Reith and Alicia continued down the reception line, grasping thumbs with the Dasht's treasurer; with the commander of the army, a weather-beaten old officer called Sir Bobir; and with several minor bureaucrats, who stared at Alicia with ill-concealed curiosity about this alien female of such evident if unexplained importance.

At the end of the line, Reith and Alicia found a handsome, powerfully-built Earthman with wavy brown hair, wearing a tartan kilt complete with sporran. As Reith gave him a Terran handshake, he cried: "Haw, Fergus! And do ma een deceive me? If it isna ma ault jo, Alicia Dyckman!" He seized Alicia and gave her a hearty kiss. "Now how in Hishkak did you come to fall out of the sky?"

Reith introduced White and Ordway to Kenneth Strachan, old Krishnan hand, professional Scotsman, mighty lover of women of both species, and engineer now turned toymaker for the Dasht. "How goes it, Ken?"

Strachan lowered his voice. "As well as with any hired clown. That's all this building of mechanical beasts for His Altitude's amusement amounts to. Man, what I could do with modern technics!"

Reith shepherded his party towards the buffet. Ordway said: "What was that all about, Fergus, between you and Big Bwana's girl friend?"

"It seems," said Reith, picking his words with the care of a bomb-disposal expert disarming a thousand-pounder, "that the Dasht's fiancée and I knew each other long ago. Let's move on; we're blocking the way."

Reith and Alicia, each carrying a drink and a snack, found an empty spot behind a potted plant. Alicia giggled. "Poor Fearless, cornered by two ex-wives at once! First you looked as if you'd seen a headless woman walking in a graveyard at midnight. Then you turned red as a beet!"

"Can you blame me?" muttered Reith, draining his goblet of falat. "You'd be aghast, too, if a pair of ex-husbands popped out of a trapdoor at you, like the Devil in that opera. The etiquette books don't cover the situation."

"Not having two ex-husbands, I wouldn't know. One ex is one too many."

Reith's eyebrows rose. "You mean you'd rather not have me around?"

"No, no, of course not! I love having you with me. I'm delighted that you're here. I just mean—oh, never mind."

Reith glanced towards Ordway, preparing to act if the production manager got drunk and made a disturbance. But Ordway, talking to the Dasht, seemed on his best behavior. Reith said: "I hope Gilan doesn't decide to cut off my head—or some other important part—lest Vázni be lured back to my lecherous embraces."

"You poor darling! If he tried that, I'd offer him my virtue to save you."

Reith swallowed his arthropod on a stick and gave Alicia's arm a little squeeze. "You're the best friend I've ever had," he said, feeling his eyes watering.

"And always will be," said Alicia. "You're the only ex-husband I'm ever likely to have, so I've got to take care of you. Here comes the trumpet call for dinner!" She set down her goblet and clapped hands over her ears.

Reith was directed by an usher to a seat along the horseshoe-shaped table. He found himself between two Terrans, a middle-aged man and woman, in decent but sober Terran dress. The Dasht had placed Vázni on his right and Alicia on his left, and Reith observed that Alicia now had a gauzy scarf tucked into her bosom to cover her breasts.

White and Ordway sat among Krishnans, with whom they could communicate but little for want of a common language. Pulling himself together, Reith donned a glassy smile and a synthetic suavity, and introduced himself to his dinner partners.

"I'm Trask," said the male. "Edmund Trask; or, if you must be formal, the Reverend Edmund Trask. This is my wife, Melissa. We are pleased to meet you, Mr. Reith. We have heard of your exploits."

"The tales exaggerate," said Reith. "You are missionaries?"

"So they call us. We think of ourselves as friends of those in need."

Reith nodded. "What denomination, if I may ask?"

Trask made a deprecating motion. "We set no great store by denominational differences. All are brothers in Christ. But if you really wish to know, we are Polyecumenal Baptists."

"Oh. What success have you had in Ruz?"

"Less than we'd like, but more than we might have. Fortunately, the Dasht protects us from the malice of the misguided."

"Who are they?"

Trask lowered his voice. "The priests of this benighted astrological cult, like that fellow over yonder." He nodded towards an elderly Krishnan wearing a purple robe embellished with symbols embroidered in gold thread. "They try to stir up the fears of the ignorant against us; but that is to be expected. I assure you, Mr. Reith, we do not dwell in idle parasitism."

"Have you converted the Dasht?"

Trask chuckled. "Not quite. He tries to carry water on both shoulders. I suspect his plan is to wait until he is old and infirm and submit to a deathbed conversion, just in time to avoid the flames of Hell. Of course, the sainted Constantine—or so some call him—did much the same."

"Tell me more," said Reith. The Trasks launched into a voluble account of starvelings fed, abandoned infants rescued, and other virtuous deeds. By their lights, at least, the Trasks were the salt of their adopted planet.

"We also persuaded the Dasht," said Melissa Trask, "to abolish that barbarous method of executing criminals, by putting them in a pit and releasing a yeki or other predatory beast to devour them, the way the Romans did with lions and Krishnans—I mean Christians. Now he hangs or beheads them before just a few witnesses. We should prefer no death penalty at all, but in this medieval world I daresay that's too much to expect."

While digesting this information, Reith ate his crisped unha skin with small nánasha or Krishnan pancakes, served with a sour-sweet sauce. This was followed by a fungus stuffed with arthropod paste; and that by the shredded roots of the sha'pir herb, detoxified, with slices of fried máru, a small relative of the semi-reptilian 'avval. At last he said, "Did you have anything to do with the change in women's fashions? I notice the ladies no longer wear dresses like those of my associate Doctor Dyckman, the blond Terran woman beside the Dasht—that is, before she improvised a small change in it."

"Indeed," said Melissa Trask. "We told the Dasht we considered that bare-bosomed fashion indecent. He hasn't actually forbidden it; but he's let it be known that women so clad will not be welcome in the castle. He is a person of austere tastes; you will notice that he drinks only fruit juice, as Edmund and I do.

"But tell me, is that Doctor Dyckman the same lady who had a reputation on Krishna, before we arrived, for research in the social sciences? I believe her first name was something like 'Alice.' "

"It's Alicia," said Reith. "Yes, she's the same."

"I should have expected an older-looking person."

"She's been back to Earth, and you know what space travel does to the normal passage of time."

"Dear me, yes!" said Melissa Trask. "Though I've never understood it. We heard she was always involved in some controversy or adventure."

Reith smiled. "Her story is more fantastic than anything you can imagine."

"Oh, really? And such a pretty woman, too! Do tell me the story."

Reith said: "Some other time, perhaps. Why do you consider the traditional Krishnan style of dress indecent?"

"Isn't it obvious, Mr. Reith? The sight of the bare female bosom arouses carnal thoughts in the male. Such emotions are to be expected between a wedded pair; but public displays of nudity lead to sinful conduct with drastic social consequences. One of our converts told us a horrifying story, that recently in Novo one of our brothers in Christ—though of the Romish persuasion— was pursued down the street by a naked Terran woman, menacing him with a sign on a pole. Do you know anything of this?"

"No," said Reith, keeping his face straight by sheer willpower. "But you know how rumors exaggerate."

Leaning towards Reith with eyes aglow, the Reverend Trask ran off with the conversation like a football player intercepting a pass. "First, Mr. Reith, there are the social diseases. Every time the medical profession thinks it has one of them under control, a new epidemic appears—by mutation, I think they call it. Providence works in wondrous ways. Then there are the countless homicides and family tragedies arising from adulteries. We know—and I'm sure Doctor Dyckman would agree— that it's better for a child to grow up with both its biological parents than with only one, as so often results from sexual laxity. You've heard, I'm sure, of the broken-home syndrome, with its delinquency, addictions, crime, and suicide."

As Trask paused for breath, Melissa Trask seized the thread of the discourse. "So you see, dear, dear Mr. Reith, even if you don't believe that Moses literally came down from Mount Sinai carrying a slab of stone engraved with Thou shalt not commit adultery', the ancients still had good reasons for imposing strict rules on sex."

"Did you and the Reverend urge the Dasht to order modification of the bathhouses?"

The Reverend Trask clasped his hands, looking saintly. "The Dasht asked our opinion, and we gave it. We compel nobody. As it is, the bathhouse proprietors find one excuse after another for putting off the change."

Reith's imp of perversity tempted him to launch a harangue on the destructive effects on native populations of missionary meddling; but his common sense asserted itself. 'Tell me more about your good works," he said.

While the Trasks prattled guilelessly on, Reith worked his way through the rest of the repast: boiled burind, an animal resembling a winged monkey, stuffed with an omelet of bijar eggs; a cut of roast shaihan smothered in a piscoid sauce ... A glance down the long table showed that White had given up trying to follow Judaic dietary rules. He was at least sampling everything.

When food and drink were finished, the Dasht stood up in his glittering mail and rapped for silence. The chatter died a quick death.

"Friends!" shouted Gilan III in Gozashtandou. "We have eaten and drunk and enjoyed ourselves. My Altitude hopes that my hospitality hath not displeased you.

"Tonight I shall speak of the defense of our homeland. Harken closely, for I am never wrong! It hath come to mine ears that some do grumble at the taxes required to defend the realm against its foes within and without. A nation that be not prepared to don its shining armor and sharpen its gleaming sword doth five at hazard!

"We have witnessed all too many examples of the tragic effects of such cowardice. Once Jo'ol was independent; what is Jo'ol today save a sphere of the barbarous nomads of Qaath? But fear nought, my friends. I shall be your shining armor; I shall be your invincible sword ..."

The speech rambled on for half a Krishnan hour. Trask whispered to Reith: "I wish we could convince him to follow the Christian way: 'Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek ...' "

"Wouldn't work on the Kamoran of Qaath," grunted Reith. "He'd not only smite thy left cheek but take thy head for good measure."

When the speech was over, the glittering company trooped into a large chamber filled with seats that faced a stage. Here Strachan displayed his automata: a mechanical yeki, which stalked and pounced on a wild unha; ayas and shomals, which leaped fences; bijars and aqebats, which flew in circles on the ends of wires; a pair of puppets, a Qaathian and a Gozashtando warrior, who fought, circling and whacking. The show concluded with the eruption of a miniature volcano, which sent a fountain of smoke and a spray of sparks to the ceiling.

Afterwards, when the guests had cracked their thumb joints and rose to chat, Reith congratulated Strachan. The Scot glanced about before muttering in English: "Ye know I dinna care burha-shit for these gadgets. All their principles are already known to the Krishnans, or I cudna use them. As soon as ma contract's up and I'm paid off, I'll be out of here faster than Maibud left Bákh's treasure vault when the god caught him stealing. How's ma little Jenny and ma wee house?"

"Juanita was all right the last time I saw her," said Reith. "Where did you find that new Highland getup?"

"Had it made in Majbur. The sporran, noo, is of burha hide in place of badger." Strachan chuckled, fingering the furry purse that hung from the waistband of his kilt. "Mrs. Trask, the missionary's wife, asked me what a Scot carried in his scrotum. I tried to explain athoot embarrassing the dear lady; but not, I fear, wi' complete success."

"What's funny?" asked Alicia, seeing Reith convulsed.

"I'll tell you later," he said. "Where are Jack and Cyril?"

At the inn, Reith bade his companions good night and entered his room. As he started to close the door behind him, the sound of a scuffle, followed by the thud of a heavy fall, brought him round. He looked out, saw Ordway sitting on the floor, and glimpsed Alicia's door slamming shut.

Reith hurried to the fallen production manager, who was dazedly shaking his head. Blood ran from his roseate nose and spread out over his lips.

"Now what the devil!" exclaimed Reith.

Ordway groaned. "You were right, Fergus," he mumbled, "and I was a silly ass. Help me up, will you like a good bloke?"

Ordway lurched to his feet. "What happened?" snapped Reith.

"Well, you see, she was going into her room when I came up behind her. She wasn't wearing that scarf thing she'd borrowed earlier, and I merely tried to slide my arms affectionately around her—you know—what normal man could resist a perfectly ripping pair of tits like—ah—"

"Get on with it!"

Ordway dabbed at his face with a handkerchief. "She's every bit as deadly as you said. First she snapped her head back and smashed my poor nose. Then she kicked me in the shins. When I let go of her, she turned and hit me in the neck, I don't quite know how, and down I went. Must be one of those tricky oriental self-defense things."

Reith said, "Cyril, you'd better understand something. Twenty of your years ago, during her first stay on Krishna, Alicia and I were husband and wife."

"Uh-oo!" said Ordway, putting a hand to his mouth. "Bit of a floater, what?"

"You may well say 'oh'," growled Reith, glowering down like an avenging deity. "I won't go into details, but we're still very fond of each other. So shelve your Alicia project, at least on Krishna. If she decides to go back to Earth, what you two do thereafter is your own affair. But for here and now—well, I advise you not to bother her again."

"What would you do if I did?" said Ordway belligerently.

"You'd find out soon enough. Somebody just might end up dead. Your head would look swell over my fireplace."

Ordway clenched and unclenched his fists, cursing under his breath. Then he smote one palm with the other fist. "Don't suppose I can blame you for feeling strongly. I shan't hold a grudge. Common sense tells me that if you want this she-cobra, you're welcome to her. I never was much for rough-and-tumble. Good night!"

After Ordway disappeared with his bloodsoaked handkerchief pressed to his face, Reith knocked gently on Alicia's door. "Lish! Are you okay?"

The door opened a crack, and Alicia said: "Just a skinned knuckle—nothing that needs attention. Go to bed, Fergus dear!" The door closed.

Back in his room, Reith was laying out the contents of his pockets when he heard a discreet knock and a high, muffled voice, saying in Gozashtandou: "Fergus! Let me in, forthwith!"

Reith's heart leaped up at the thought that it was Alicia, but then it struck him that she would have spoken English. He opened the door to find the Princess Vázni, who pushed her way in. She wore a hooded black cloak, which she tossed on the bed, uncovering the emerald gown she had worn at the banquet.

"Vázni!" he exclaimed. "What in the world—"

"Hush! I had to see you."

"Sit down, my dear."

"Oh, Fergus, it hath been so long ..."

"Yes, yes, but what is it? Aren't you running a risk, coming here alone?"

"Aye, but it cannot be helped. I had Dupulán's own time, evading my servants and those of the Dasht. When mean you to return to Novo?"

"That depends on my clients' business. In a few days, Bákh willing."

"Canst take me with you? If Terrans can disguise themselves as human beings, I can to the converse. I'll tape down my antennae—"

"Good gods, what an idea! Why are you so eager to flee your betrothed? Don't you like him?''

Vázni made the Krishnan negative head motion. "Gilan's a little mad. When he wrote the Dour of Gozashtand, inviting my husband and me to remove to Rosid and enjoy unlimited credit, methought 'twas noble generosity; but when I came to know hiiri—"

"The Dasht called you a widow. What happened?"

"My husband was Aslehán bad-Khar, a knight of Dur. After you so cruelly deserted me, he consoled my grief. The Regent, hoping to lure you back to Dur, would not hear of ending my marriage to you so that I might wed Aslehán. To paint our union with the color of legality, we fled by stealth and took refuge at Dour Eqrar's court.

"Then, when we'd served our purpose as bargaining counters in Eqrar's chaffer with my cousin Tashian, the Dour lost interest in us. So we came to Rosid."

"Had you any offspring?"

"Aye; we'd hatched a daughter in Hershid. She's lately wed and gone to distant Suruskand. Then last year, poor Aslehán was slain in a tournament. Gilan was so sympathetic that my liver was touched, and I accepted his proposal. But after that ..."

"But—what?" Reith prompted.

"A rumor reached mine ears that Gilan had compassed my husband's untimely cease. He'd caused a regular righting lance to be used by Aslehán's antagonist instead of the tilting lance. This fell device was disguised by a bogus coronal, with prongs of strengthless paper. The lance pierced my dear man through.

"I also saw that Gilan's proposal was but a move in his game political. He'd put away his first wife, the lady Farudi. She then wished to wed Sir Shost; but Gilan forbade, calling it unworthy that any woman who had enjoyed his embraces should ever belong to another. When his spies caught the pair in a tryst, he had Sir Shost beheaded on a trumped-up charge and imprisoned Farudi.

"I went to her cell and learned much. The Dasht had discarded her hoping to wed me, thinking that as my consort he'd prevail upon Tashian to name him Dour of Dur—or, failing that, to change the law and name me Douri, whilst he enjoyed the power of my rank."

Reith asked: "Did Gilan figure on begetting a male egg on you, who'd hatch and grow up to become Dour?"

"Doubtless he entertained such a whimsey. But if Farudi spake true, methinks he'd never succeed. He's all but impotent."

Reith chuckled. "Good gods! In spite of all his bluster and warlike posturing?"

"Verily. She said that, in six years of wedlock, he'd gone in unto her fewer than a dozen meager times, and then had discharged but little seed. Now you know why I'm fain to flee from Dur. I've learned a deal since you and I were—"

Alicia, still wearing her bare-breasted gown, tapped on the door and opened it, saying: "I heard voices, Fergus, and—oh!" In Gozashtandou she added: "Are you not the Princess Vázni?"

"Aye; and you are that Mistress—ah—Dackman, was it?"

"Dyckman," corrected Alicia. "We met once, long ago, at Regent Tashian's court, when I was doing research in Dur."

"Well, Mistress Dyckman, any friend of Sir Fergus is a friend of mine. But I must tell you, madam," added Vázni with a touch of hauteur, "that you come at a time untimely. Sir Fergus and I have personal matters to discuss—in private."

"Whatever you say to him you may say to me," replied Alicia, a dangerous glint in her eye. "We are old friends and business associates, and there are no secrets between us. I shall leave only after you."

Vázni looked down her nose and spoke in glacial tones: "You understand not, my good woman. This is an intimate matter, and I shall linger after you depart. As Sir Fergus's former wife, I have a right to a private conversation—"

"I am likewise his former wife," said Alicia sharply. "So I have every bit as much right—"

"You, too?" cried Vázni. "By the divine stars, here's a Ziadian knot to untangle! I'd heard Sir Fergus had wedded again but not to whom. Did he desert you as he so callously abandoned me?"

"No. It was the other way round."

"What a fool you were, to leave so fine a man!"

"I agree. But that's not all; Fergus married once again."

Vázni's feathery antennae shot erect. "Doth he remain conjoined to this third spouse?"

"No. She died."

Vázni relaxed with a slight Krishnan smile. "Meanst that he's fair game for her who can sniggle him?"

"Ladies!" interrupted Reith. "I am not a prize up for grabs. I'm not a superior man. I'm a competent tour guide and a fair swordsman, but I'm a flat failure as a husband."

"Pay no attention," said Alicia. "He likes to talk about himself that way."

Vázni turned to Reith. "Fergus, for twenty years I've yearned to ask: Why didst you leave me in such thwart fashion? Was I not a good and loving wife?"

Reith sighed. "I never meant to hurt you, Vázni. But I never wanted to marry you in the first place. I was forced to do so, literally at sword's point."

"Aye, after you'd robbed me of the jewel of maidenhood!"

"Oh, come off it! I didn't rob you; you were just as ready, willing, and eager as I. Nobody's to blame but your cousin the Regent. He planned the whole thing, knowing you and I could never produce a legitimate heir to threaten his position.

"Now let's get to the point. Excuse me, Vázni, if I speak to Alicia in our Terran tongue; it'll go faster." He gave Alicia a quick resume of the princess's tale.

"She can't possibly come with us," said Alicia. "No telling what this crazy baron would do if he found her missing. If he didn't arrest us on our way out of Ruz, he'd at least refuse cooperation on the movie." She turned to Vázni with a forced smile. "My dear Princess, Strachan leaves Ruz soon. I'm sure you could persuade him to smuggle you out; he's harum-scarum enough."

Alicia walked to the door with the firmness of a practiced interviewer ending a session. With a hand on the doorknob, she said brightly: "It's been pleasant meeting you, Princess. Some other time we must—"

"Oh, I mean not to depart!" said Vázni, resolutely sitting down on the bed. "Let us compare our recollections of Sir Fergus. When you were intimate with him, were his lectual powers as great as those I enjoyed? He could perform—"

Reith broke in. "Vázni, please! This is most embarrassing. If you must dissect me—"

" 'Tis no more than you merit," said Vázni, turning to Alicia. "Tell me, fellow ex-wife, did he—"

"Really, Princess," said Alicia, "it's not the sort of thing—"

Reith raised his voice. "Enough nonsense! It's late, and we must be on site early tomorrow. Good night to both of you!"

"I'll not go until she doth!" exclaimed Vázni, eyeing her rival coldly.

"Nor will I leave until she goes!" retorted Alicia with a steely stare.

Reith scratched his scalp. "Well, I'm going to bed, right now. If you want to see a male strip act—"

Vázni gave the Krishnan equivalent of a shrug. "Proceed, and sprackly, husband-that-was! Bákh knows I've seen you naked often enough, and I doubt not that Mistress Dyckman hath, too. I shall relish the spectacle."

"Very well," said Reith, red-faced but determined. "You asked for it."

As he shed his underwear, Vázni remarked: "He's still as lean as ever, save in the belly. There he doth bulge a trifle."

"He's in marvelous shape for a man of his age!" said Alicia defensively. "He keeps in trim by constant exercise."

"Good night, dear ex-spouses!" said Reith, sliding into bed and pulling the covers over his head.

For a while he lay, hearing the verbal fencing between his visitors and hoping that it would not escalate to hair-pulling. If it came to physical combat, he was sure that Alicia knew enough of the martial arts to make mincemeat of the Krishnan woman.

At last Reith faked a gentle snore. Soon he felt the weight of Vázni's cloak removed from the blanket above him and heard his door open and close. When he turned the blanket down, he found that the two women had tiptoed away. With a sigh of relief, he put out the lamp and fell asleep.