The Status Civilization

Chapter Twenty-Five

In the morning, the friendly oak tree dispensed breakfast and shaving equipment. Barrent ate, washed and shaved, and set out for the nearest town. He had his objectives firmly in mind. He had to establish some sort of foolproof disguise, and he had to make contact with Earth’s underground. When this was accomplished, he had to find out as much as he could about Earth’s secret police, military dispositions, and the like.

Group Two had worked out a procedure for accomplishing these objectives. As Barrent came to the outskirts of a town, he hoped that the Group’s methods would work. So far, the Earth he was on had very little resemblance to the Earth which the Group had reconstructed.

He walked down interminable streets lined with small white cottages. At first, he thought every house looked the same. Then he realized that each had one or two small architectural differences. But instead of distinguishing the houses, these niggling differences simply served to point up the monotonous similarities. There were hundreds of these cottages, stretching as far as he could see, each of them set upon a little plot of carefully tended grass. Their genteel sameness depressed him. Unexpectedly he missed the ridiculous, clumsy, make-shift individuality of Omegan buildings.

He reached a shopping center. The stores repeated the pattern set by the houses. They were low, discreet, and very similar. Only a close inspection of window displays revealed differences between a food store and a sports shop. He passed a small building with a sign that read, ROBOT CONFESSIONAL—Open 24 hours a day. It seemed to be some sort of church.

The procedure set by Group Two for locating the underground on Earth was simple and straightforward. Revolutionaries, he had been told, are found in greatest quantity among a civilization’s most depressed elements. Poverty breeds dissatisfaction; the have-nots want to take from those who have. Therefore, the logical place to look for subversion is in the slums.

It was a good theory. The trouble was, Barrent couldn’t find any slums. He walked for hours, past neat stores and pleasant little homes, playgrounds and parks, scrupulously tended farms, and then past more houses and stores. Nothing looked much better or worse than anything else.

By evening, he was tired and footsore. As far as he could tell, he had discovered nothing of significance. Before he could penetrate any deeper into the complexities of Earth, he would have to question the local citizens. It was a dangerous step, but one which he could not avoid.

He stood near a clothing store in the gathering dusk and decided upon a course of action. He would pose as a foreigner, a man newly arrived in North America from Asia or Europe. In that way, he should be able to ask questions with a measure of safety.

A man was walking toward him, a plump, ordinary-looking fellow in a brown business tunic. Barrent stopped him. “I beg your pardon,” he said. “I’m a stranger here, just arrived from Rome.”

“Really?” the man said.

“Yes. I’m afraid I don’t understand things over here very well,” Barrent said, with an apologetic little laugh. “I can’t seem to find any cheap hotels. If you could direct me—”

“Citizen, do you feel all right?” the man asked, his face hardening.

“As I said, I’m a foreigner, and I’m looking—”

“Now look,” the man said, “you know as well as I do that there aren’t any outlanders any more.”

“There aren’t?”

“Of course not. I’ve been in Rome. It’s just like here in Wilmington. Same sort of houses and stores. No one’s an outlander any more.”

Barrent couldn’t think of anything to say. He smiled nervously.

“Furthermore,” the man said, “there are no cheap lodgings anywhere on Earth. Why should there be? Who would stay in them?”

“Who indeed?” Barrent said. “I guess I’ve had a little too much to drink.”

“No one drinks any more,” the man said. “I don’t understand. What sort of a game is this?”

“What sort of a game do you think it is?” Barrent asked, falling back on a technique which the Group had recommended.

The man stared at him, frowning. “I think I get it,” he said. “You must be an Opinioner.”

“Mmm,” Barrent said, noncommittally.

“Sure, that’s it,” the man said. “You’re one of those citizens goes around asking people’s opinions. For surveys and that sort of thing. Right?”

“You’ve made a very intelligent guess,” Barrent said.

“Well, I don’t suppose it was too hard. Opinioners are always walking around trying to get people’s attitudes on things. I would have spotted you right away if you’d been wearing Opinioners’ clothing.” The man started to frown again. “How come you aren’t dressed like an Opinioner?”

“I just graduated,” Barrent said. “Haven’t had a chance to get the clothes.”

“Oh. Well, you should get the proper wear,” the man said sententiously. “How can a citizen tell your status?”

“Just a test sampling,” Barrent said. “Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Perhaps I’ll have a chance to interview you again in the near future.”

“Any time,” the man said. He nodded politely and walked off.

Barrent thought about it, and decided that the occupation of Opinioner was perfect for him. It would give him the all-important right to ask questions, to meet people, to find out how Earth lived. He would have to be careful, of course, not to reveal his ignorance. But working with circumspection, he should have a general knowledge of this civilization in a few days.

First, he would have to buy Opinioners’ clothing. That seemed to be important. The trouble was, he had no money with which to pay for it. The Group had been unable to duplicate Earth money; they couldn’t even remember what it looked like.

But they had provided him with a means of overcoming even that obstacle. Barrent turned and went into the nearest costumer’s.

The proprietor was a short man with china-blue eyes and a salesman’s ready smile. He welcomed Barrent and asked how he could be of service.

“I need Opinioners’ clothing,” Barrent told him. “I’ve just graduated.”

“Of course, sir,” the owner said. “And you’ve come to the right place for it. Most of the smaller stores don’t carry the clothing for anything but the more . . . ah . . . common professions. But here at Jules Wonderson’s, we have ready-wears for all of the five hundred and twenty major professions listed in the Civil Status Almanac. I am Jules Wonderson.”

“A pleasure,” Barrent said. “Have you a ready-wear in my size?”

“I’m sure I have,” Wonderson said. “Would you care for a Regular or a Special?”

“A Regular will do nicely.”

“Most new Opinioners prefer the Special,” Wonderson said. “The little extra simulated handmade touches increase the public’s respect.”

“In that case I’ll take the Special.”

“Yes, sir. Though if you could wait a day or two, we will be having in a new fabric—a simulated Home Loom, complete with natural weaving mistakes. For the man of status discrimination. A real prestige item.”

“Perhaps I’ll come back for that,” Barrent said. “Right now, I need a ready-wear.”

“Of course, sir,” Wonderson said, disappointed but hiding it bravely. “If you’ll wait just one little minute . . . .”

After several fittings, Barrent found himself wearing a black business suit with a thin edge of white piping around the lapels. To his inexperienced eye it looked almost exactly like the other suits Wonderson had on display for bankers, stock brokers, grocers, accountants, and the like. But for Wonderson, who talked about the banker’s lapel and the insurance agent’s drape, the differences were as clear as the gross status-symbols of Omega. Barrent decided it was just a question of training.

“There, sir!” Wonderson said. “A perfect fit, and a fabric guaranteed for a lifetime. All for thirty-nine ninety-five.”

“Excellent,” Barrent said. “Now, about the money—”

“Yes, sir?”

Barrent took the plunge. “I haven’t any.”

“You haven’t, sir? That’s quite unusual.”

“Yes, it is,” Barrent said. “However, I do have certain articles of value.” From his pocket he took three diamond rings with which the Group on Omega had supplied him. “These stones are genuine diamonds, as any jeweler will be glad to attest. If you would take one of them until I have the money for payment—”

“But, sir,” Wonderson said, “diamonds and such have no intrinsic value. They haven’t since ’23, when Von Blon wrote the definitive work destroying the concept of scarcity value.”

“Of course,” Barrent said, at a loss for words.

Wonderson looked at the rings. “I suppose these have a sentimental value, though.”

“Certainly. We’ve had them in the family for generations.”

“In that case,” Wonderson said, “I wouldn’t want to deprive you of them. Please, no arguments, sir! Sentiment is the most priceless of emotions. I couldn’t sleep nights if I took even one of these family heirlooms from you.”

“But there’s the matter of payment.”

“Pay me at your leisure.”

“You mean you’ll trust me, even though you don’t know me?”

“Most certainly,” Wonderson said. He smiled archly. “Trying out your Opinioner’s methods, aren’t you? Well, even a child knows that our civilization is based upon trust, not collateral. It is axiomatic that even a stranger is to be trusted until he has conclusively and unmistakably proven otherwise.”

“Haven’t you ever been cheated?”

“Of course not. Crime is nonexistent these days.”

“In that case,” Barrent asked, “what about Omega?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Omega, the prison planet. You must have heard of it.”

“I think I have,” Wonderson said cautiously. “Well, I should have said that crime is almost nonexistent. I suppose there will always be a few congenital criminal types, easily recognizable as such. But I’m told they don’t amount to more than ten or twelve individuals a year out of a population of nearly two billion.” He smiled broadly. “My chances of meeting one are exceedingly rare.”

Barrent thought about the prison ships constantly shuttling back and forth between Earth and Omega, dumping their human cargo and returning for more. He wondered where Wonderson got his statistics. For that matter, he wondered where the police were. He had seen no military uniform since leaving the starship. He would have liked to ask about it, but it seemed wiser to discontinue that line of questioning.

“Thank you very much for the credit,” Barrent said. “I’ll be back with the payment as soon as possible.”

“Of course you will,” Wonderson said, warmly shaking Barrent’s hand. “Take your time, sir. No rush at all.”

Barrent thanked him again and left the store.

He had a profession now. And if other people believed as Wonderson did, he had unlimited credit. He was on a planet that seemed, at first glance, to be a utopia. The utopia presented certain contradictions, of course. He hoped to find out more about them over the next few days.

Down the block, Barrent found a hotel called The Bide-A-Bit. He engaged a room for the week, on credit.