The Spectre General

V

As Kurt turned to go, there was a sharp knock on Colonel Harris’ door.

“Come in!” called the colonel.

Lieutenant Colonel Blick, the battalion executive officer, entered with an arrogant stride and threw his commander a slovenly salute. For a moment he didn’t notice Kurt standing at attention beside the door.

“Listen, Harris!” he snarled. “What’s the idea of pulling that cleanup detail out of my quarters?”

“There are no servants in this battalion, Blick,” the older man said quietly. “When the men come in from work detail at night they’re tired. They’ve earned a rest and as long as I’m CO. they’re going to get it. If you have dirty work that has to be done, do it yourself. You’re better able to do it than some poor devil who’s been dragging a plow all day. I suggest you check pertinent regulations!”

“Regulations!” growled Blick. “What do you expect me to do, scrub my own floors?”

“I do,” said the colonel dryly, “when my wife is too busy to get to it. I haven’t noticed that either my dignity or my efficiency have suffered appreciably. I might add,” he continued mildly, “that staff officers are supposed to set a good example for their juniors. I don’t think either your tone or your manner are those that Lieutenant Dixon should be encouraged to emulate.” He gestured toward Kurt and Blick spun on one heel.

“Lieutenant Dixon!” he roared in an incredulous voice. “By whose authority?”

“Mine,” said the colonel mildly. “In case you’ve forgotten I am still commanding officer of this battalion.”

“I protest!” said Blick. “Commissions have always been awarded by decision of the entire staff.”

“Which you now control,” replied the colonel.

Kurt coughed nervously. “Excuse me, sir,” he said, “but I think I’d better leave.”

Colonel Harris shook his head. “You’re one of our official family now, son, and you might as well get used to our squabbles. This particular one has been going on between Colonel Blick and me for years. He has no patience with some of our old customs.” He turned to Blick. “Have you, Colonel?”

“You’re right, I haven’t!” growled Blick. “And that’s why Tm going to change some of them as soon as I get the chance. The sooner we stop this Tech School nonsense and put the recruits to work in the fields where they belong, the better off we’ll all be. Why should a plowman or a hunter have to know how to read wiring diagrams or set tubes. It’s nonsense, superstitious nonsense. You!” he said, stabbing his finger into the chest of the startled lieutenant. “You! Dixon! You spent fourteen years in the Tech Schools just like I did when I was a recruit. What for?”

“To learn maintenance, of course,” said Kurt.

“What’s maintenance?” demanded Blick.

“Taking stuff apart and putting it back together and polishing jet bores with microplanes and putting plates in alignment and checking the meters when we’re through to see the job was done right. Then there’s class work in Direc calculus and subelectronics and—”

“That’s enough!” interrupted Blick. “And now that you’ve learned all that, what can you do with it?”

Kurt looked at him in surprise.

“Do with it?” he echoed. “You don’t do anything with it. You just learn it because regulations say you should.”

“And this,” said Blick, turning to Colonel Harris, “is one of your prize products. Fourteen of his best years poured down the drain and he doesn’t even know what for!” He paused and then said in an arrogant voice, “I’m here for a showdown, Harris!”

“Yes?” said the colonel mildly.

“I demand that the Tech Schools be closed at once, and the recruits released for work details. If you want to keep your command, you’ll issue that order. The staff is behind me on this!”

Colonel Harris rose slowly to his feet. Kurt waited for the thunder to roll, but strangely enough, it didn’t. It almost seemed to him that there was an expression of concealed amusement playing across the colonel’s face.

“Some day, just for once,” he said, “I wish somebody around here would do something that hasn’t been done before.”

“What do you mean by that?” demanded Blick.

“Nothing,” said the colonel. “You know,” he continued conversationally, “a long time ago I walked into my C.O.’s office and made the same demands and the same threats that you’re making now. I didn’t get very far, though—just as you aren’t going to—because I overlooked the little matter of the Inspector General’s annual visit. He’s due in from Imperial Headquarters Saturday night, isn’t he, Blick?”

“You know he is!” growled the other.

“Aren’t worried, are you? It occurs to me that the I.G. might take a dim view of your new order.”

“I don’t think he’ll mind,” said Blick with a nasty grin. “Now will you issue the order to close the Tech Schools or won’t you?”

“Of course not!” said the colonel brusquely.

“That’s final?”

Colonel Harris just nodded.

“All right,” barked Blick, “you asked for it!”

There was an ugly look on his face as he barked, “Kane! Simmons! Arnett! The rest of you! Get in here!”

The door to Harris’ office swung slowly open and revealed a group of officers standing sheepishly in the anteroom.

“Come in, gentlemen,” said Colonel Harris.

They came slowly forward and grouped themselves just inside the door.

“I’m taking over!” roared Blick. “This garrison has needed a house-cleaning for a long time and I’m just the man to do it!”

“How about the rest of you?” asked the colonel.

“Beg pardon, sir,” said one hesitantly, “but we think Colonel Blick’s probably right. I’m afraid we’re going to have to confine you for a few days. Just until after the I.G.’s visit,” he added apologetically.

“And what do you think the I.G. will say to all this?”

“Colonel Blick says we don’t have to worry about that,” said the officer. “He’s going to take care of everything.”

A look of sudden anxiety played across Harris’ face and for the first time he seemed on the verge of losing his composure.

“How?” he demanded, his voice betraying his concern.

“He didn’t say, sir,” the other replied. Harris relaxed visibly.

“All right,” said Blick. “Let’s get moving!” He walked behind the desk and plumped into the colonel’s chair. Hoisting his feet on the desk he gave his first command.

“Take him away!”

There was a sudden roar from the far corner of the room. “No you don’t!” shouted Kurt. His battle-ax leaped into his hand as he jumped in front of Colonel Harris, his muscular body taut and his gray eyes flashing defiance.

Blick jumped to his feet. “Disarm that man!” he commanded. There was a certain amount of scuffling as the officers in the front of the group by the door tried to move to the rear and those behind them resolutely defended their more protected positions.

Blick’s face grew so purple that he seemed on the verge of apoplexy. “Major Kane,” he demanded, “place that man under restraint!”

Kane advanced toward Kurt with a noticeable lack of enthusiasm. Keeping a cautious eye on the glittering ax head, he said in what he obviously hoped to be a placating voice, “Come now, old man. Can’t have this sort of thing, you know.” He stretched out his hand hesitantly toward Kurt. “Why don’t you give me your ax and we’ll forget that the incident ever occurred.”

Kurt’s ax suddenly leaped toward the major’s head. Kane stood petrified as death whizzed toward him. At the last split second Kurt gave a practiced twist to his wrist and the ax jumped up, cutting the air over the major’s head with a vicious whistle. The top half of his silver staff plume drifted slowly to the floor.

“You want it,” roared Kurt, his ax flicking back and forth like a snake’s tongue, “you come get it. That goes for the rest of you, too!”

The litde knot of officers retreated still farther. Colonel Harris was having the time of his life.

“Give it to ’em, son!” he whooped.

Blick looked contemptuously at the staff and slowly drew his own ax. Colonel Harris suddenly stopped laughing.

“Wait a minute, Blick!” he said. “This has gone far enough.” He turned to Kurt.

“Give them your ax, son.”

Kurt looked at him with an expression of hurt bewilderment in his eyes, hesitated for a moment, and then glumly surrendered his weapon to the relieved major.

“Now,” snarled Blick, “take that insolent puppy out and feed him to the lizards!”

Kurt drew himself up in injured dignity. “That is no way to refer to a brother officer,” he said reproachfully.

The vein in Blick’s forehead started to pulse again. “Get him out of here before I tear him to shreds!” he hissed through clenched teeth. There was silence for a moment as he fought to regain control of himself. Finally he succeeded.

“Lock him up!” he said in an approximation to his normal voice. “Tell the provost sergeant I’ll send down the charges as soon as I can think up enough.”

Kurt was led resentfully from the room.

“The rest of you clear out,” said Blick. “I want to talk with Colonel Harris about the I.G.”