The Snow Queen

24

“BZ, I wish I didn’t have to hand you this duty; but I’ve put it off as long as I can.” Jerusha stood at the window of her office, looking out, confronted by the sight of the blank wall that was all her view. Boxed in. Boxed in…

“It’s all right, Commander.” Gundhalinu sat at attention in the visitor’s chair, the benign acceptance in his voice warming her back. “To tell you the truth I’m glad to get out of Carbuncle for a while. Certain people have been leaning a little hard on ‘shirkers’… it’ll be a relief to breathe fresh air, even if it turns my lungs blue.” He grinned reassurance as she turned back to him. “They don’t bother me, Commander. I know I’m doing my job… and I know who uses personal incompetence as an excuse to make you look bad.” Disapproval pulled his face down. “But I have to admit sharing the company of inferiors — wears on one.”

She smiled faintly. “You deserve a break, BZ, the gods know it; even if it’s only to waste your time chasing thieves across the tundra.” She leaned against her desk, carefully, trying not to dislodge a heap of anything. “I just wish I didn’t have to send you to oversee star port security because I don’t know how the hell I’m going to manage here, without your support.” She glanced down, a little ashamed to be admitting it; but her gratitude at his unshakeable loyalty would not leave it unsaid.

He laughed, shaking his head. “You don’t need anybody, Commander. As long as you’ve got your integrity, they can’t touch you.”

Oh, but I do… and they do, every day. I need that encouraging word, like life needs the sun. But he’d never really understand that. Why couldn’t she have been born with the sense of supreme self worth that seemed to be bred into a Kharemoughi? Gods, it must be wonderful, never having to look to anyone else for the reassurance that what you did was right! Even when she had promoted him to inspector, he had never questioned that it might be for any reason other than his competence as an officer. “Well, it’s only a matter of— months, anyway.”

“And only a matter of months until it’s all over, Commander. Come the Millennium! Only months until the Change comes, and we can clear off of this miserable slush ball and forget about it for the rest of our lives.”

“I try not to think that far ahead,” dully. “One day at a time, that’s how I take things.” She rearranged a stack of petition cards absently.

Gundhalinu stood up, concern coming vaguely into his eyes. “Commander… if you need somebody who’ll support your orders while I’m gone, try KraiVieux. He’s got a hard shell, but he’s got at least half his mind working — and he thinks you’re trying to do an honest job.”

“Does he?” surprised. KraiVieux was a veteran officer, and one of the last she would have expected to feel even the slightest willingness to accept her. “Thanks, BZ. That helps.” She smiled again, only straining a little.

He nodded. “Well. I suppose I’d better start packing my thermals, Commander… Take care of yourself, ma’am.”

“Take care of yourself, BZ.” She returned his salute, watched him go out of the office. She had a sudden, wrenching premonition that it was the last time she would ever see him. Stop it! You want to wish him bad luck? She reached into her pocket for a pack of iestas as she moved back around her desk; answered the chiming intercom with an unsteady hand.