The Singer

Chapter Eighteen

Ava stared out the window into the snow that fell over Bergen. She tried to ignore the tension in the small flat, tried to focus on the book of the Old Language that Orsala had given her before she went to the market, but she couldn’t.

Damien and Sari were fighting again.

“It’s not a good plan. We would be too exposed in Oslo, and Vienna is out of the question.”

“I’m not going to hide like a little girl, Damien. You’re the one who said change had to come. I’m only agreeing with you!”

Damien clenched his teeth. “Yes, change needs to come, but right now—”

“I don’t need to be protected.”

“But Ava does.”

“Whoa!” Ava held up her hands and spoke up. “Do not pull me into this argument. This is between you two.”

“Exactly,” Sari agreed. “And I think we head to Oslo first, before we make our way to Vienna.”

“What exactly do you think you’re accomplishing, exposing yourself this way?” Damien shouted.

“Who is debating now?” Sari said. “Old men? Those who know nothing of the reality around us? I have been hiding for two hundred years and I know more about what’s going on in the world then some of them do.”

“The council will not understand. They’ll try to take you away from me. Try to punish me for abandoning my house. If we’re exposed now, milá—” His voice broke. “I could not bear it, Sari. Not now. Not when we’ve finally…”

Sari went into his arms, and Ava turned her head away. She could still hear them.

“They have nothing to condemn you. Your house burned. You reported it. You took shelter at a scribe house. You went to your mate, but you did not abandon your duties. Evren will confirm this, and you know how he is respected.”

“He’s a scholar, not a politician.”

“Gabriel will vouch for you, as well.”

“He hates me, Sari.” Guilt layered his voice. “As he should.”

Sari’s voice was muffled, as if she was speaking against Damien’s skin. Ava glanced over her shoulder. They were embracing, despite their angry words.

“You told me yourself, Tala insisted on going into that fight. I know my sister. Gabriel knew her, too. He knows this. He may be angry with you, as I was, but he knows his mate would not be held back from battle, whether she was carrying a child or not.”

“He lost so much more than we did, Sari. I have never blamed him for his hatred.”

“Even if he does hate you, he is pragmatic. My presence in Vienna will only bolster the voices on the council who call for the Irina to return.”

They drifted into a quieter argument, and Ava turned back to the book, still trying to concentrate. It was only three in the afternoon, but the sun was already fading. Soon it would be dark. She longed for sleep. Her dreams had been even more vivid in the last nights. Her memories of Malachi gave him life, even if it was only in her own mind. She knew it wasn’t healthy. Knew she was only holding on to an illusion. But for those few precious hours, she wasn’t alone. She’d take them. She’d take anything that let her feel his presence.

She hadn’t seen Jaron again, but the dream of him was far more vivid than any other she’d had. She’d awoken from it feeling perfectly alert. She remembered every word.

“He finds you because he can. Just as I can.”

Who was Jaron talking about? Volund? There was no way of knowing who the Grigori who had found Sarihöfn belonged to because they’d been killed immediately. But Volund was the most powerful Fallen angel in the region, so it seemed logical. But why could Jaron and Volund both find her so easily? According to Orsala, the Fallen had never seen past the spells Sari had worked on the land to shield Sarihöfn. What had caused them to fail?

“I do not know his purpose. Only that he would thwart mine.”

“And what is your purpose?”

“That is not for you to know yet. I gave you my vision once. I will give you others when you need them.”

Why would Jaron give her visions? Despite who he was and how he had lied to her, Ava couldn’t help but sense the Fallen angel did not mean her harm. If he had, he’d had too many opportunities to hurt her and nothing had happened. What did his visions mean? And why could she show them to the other Irina through her song?

“Ava?”

She heard Sari’s voice but didn’t turn from staring out the window. “What’s up?”

“We’ve decided to stay here for a few more nights. I know it’s crowded in Renata’s flat, but—”

“It’s fine.” She closed the book and turned. “I’m fine. Have we decided what to do after that?”

Damien had disappeared to who-knows-where, but Sari sat next to her.

“He’s still voting for the scribe house in Cappadocia.”

“It is very isolated. I felt very safe there.”

“And I’m sure they would welcome us. They’re very old-fashioned, and Orsala would be highly regarded.”

“But you don’t want to go there?”

Sari shook her head. “No.”

“Why?”

“I’m tired of hiding. This struggle between Irin and Irina, it has to end. I can see that now. Just like my anger with Damien, we have let it fester until we are dying from the inside. If we continue like this, sunk in bitterness, anger, and willful misunderstanding, then the Grigori don’t have to kill us. We’ll die anyway.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to go to Oslo and see some friends. Contact a few allies. Then I want the Irina to return to Vienna.”

Ava’s eyebrows rose. “I don’t see you as much of a politician.”

She smiled. “I’m not. But my grandmother once sat on the council. And our elders’ seats have been empty too long. We are the ones who stepped away. For us to come back, we must be the ones to return. Then we will no longer be silent.”

“The other Irina—the others in hiding—they may not agree with you.”

“Then I will find them and convince them. If I can convince my stubborn mate,” Sari said, “I can convince anyone.”

“What about me?”

“You need to go to Vienna, too. It’s time to show yourself to the Irin world.”

Ava’s heart began to race. “I… I don’t think that’s a very good—”

“He was right, you know?” Sari nodded. “Malachi. You are a miracle. It was a miracle that you survived in the human world as long as you did. It was a miracle you found Malachi and Damien in Istanbul.”

“They kind of found me.”

“And if they found you, they can find others. Don’t you think there are others out there, Ava? Sisters lost in the human world? I don’t know how, but I do think they’re out there. We have to find them. Show them who they really are.”

“I have a feeling that not everyone is going to like that idea.”

Sari gave her a rueful smile. “Then it’s a good thing I’ve never cared much about being liked.”

“Where are you?” His voice was urgent, even as he braced himself over her, covering her body with his as they lay under the forest canopy.

“Right here,” she breathed out.

Her heart raced. She held on to him, pulling him down until the broad planes of his chest pressed against her. Her lips tasted the skin of his neck. Her teeth caught his ear.

“Where… where are you, Ava?” He almost sounded like he was in pain. “I need to know.”

She frowned, confused, then pushed him back so that she straddled his hips. “I’m here. With you.” Leaning down, she pressed a kiss over his heart. “Always with you.”

“I came back to you, Ava.”

She felt a phantom pain shoot through her chest. “I know.”

“Truly.” He pulled her down, capturing her lips with his own, their breath mingling in the cold night air. It misted around them, though she didn’t feel the cold. The fog was only a blanket, concealing them from the shadows of the forest. “I came back to you. And I must find you. You need me.”

“So much.” The tears stung her eyes and she tried to focus on his presence. The energy she felt between them. It was everything—everything—she needed. She only had it here. Fleeting. She knew it wouldn’t last. She closed her eyes, desperate to hold on to the comfort of his touch.

He kissed her again, gripping the back of her hair with one strong hand. A sharp pain shot through her.

Pain?

He pulled his lips away. “I need to know where you are, Ava. You need me to find you.”

The pain distracted her from the pleasure of his kiss. “I don’t understand.”

“Where are you?”

For a moment, the voice came from outside. From another place that chilled her. An echo of his voice, then another, layered on top of it. She stilled, pulling away from him.

“What is this?”

“Dream…” He clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head. “It’s a dream… but not a dream. It’s… it’s more, Ava. I can’t… I don’t know how to tell you.”

For the first time since he’d found her, dread touched her heart. “No.”

“Don’t pull away.” He reached for her, but she was already across the meadow. “Ava!”

Fear and confusion filled the space between.

“I don’t understand.” Tears slid down her cheeks. Hot. Painful. Cold wind bit her ankles.

“I’m trying to come back to you!”

“Why am I afraid?”

“Because I am! I need to find you, Ava.”

She blinked as the memory came crashing down. His face, dissolving into gold dust. She looked down, and muddy water swirled around her feet.

“You left me,” she whispered into the darkness. “And you can’t come back.”

“No,” he said, running toward her. But no matter how fast he ran, he could not come any closer. “I came back! You brought me back, Ava!”

She shook her head, pulling the darkness around her like a cloak. “No.”

His eyes turned desperate. “Ava, come to me.”

“You’re gone.”

“You must come to me.”

She sank to her knees on the cold ground. “It hurts now.”

“Please!”

“It hurts.”

A hedge sprang up between them, circling her, guarding her. Keeping him away.

“Ava, no!”

The pain that had pierced her heart faded, and his panicked voice grew dim. Faint whispers came from the trees.

“Safe.”

“Careful.”

“Safe, safe, safe.”

“Shhhhhh.”

She closed her eyes and sat on the cold ground, pressing her forehead to her knees and ignoring the small hands that tugged at her shoulders.

“Go back,” the small voices said. “You need to go back.”

No. It wasn’t safe. Something… something was different. And wrong. Something had hurt her outside the hedge.

“We need you to find your way back.”

When Ava opened her eyes, it was dark. She curled to her side and tried to stem the flood of silent tears that washed down her face. For the first time in weeks, there had been no comfort in dreams.

“Not real,” she whispered. “They aren’t real.”

Malachi died again in her heart.

Ava let the darkness take her. She closed her eyes, and she did not dream.

The next day, she walked through the flat like a zombie. Sari and Damien were gone. Orsala was in the apartment with her, but the old woman was studying a book and paid her no attention. She sat near the window, scrolling through the news on Renata’s computer. She recognized a familiar name that brought the hint of a smile to her lips.

“Huh.”

“What is huh?” Orsala asked.

“My dad. He just started a European tour for the New Year. Might try to see him if it works out.”

“Hmm.” She was distracted, flipping through the pages of the book with a frown on her face. “You’ll have to speak to Damien and Sari. See if one of them can go with you to meet him.”

The thought of having to ask permission to see her own father grated on her nerves. “If I want to see Jasper, I’ll see him.”

Orsala’s only answer was a raised eyebrow.

The more Ava thought, the more it seemed like a great idea. Jasper might have been a mess, but he did have lots of security. In fact, she liked his security a lot better than most of the nameless bodyguards her stepfather had hired over the years. Jasper’s guards were big and mean-looking, but they usually had a sense of humor. They’d have to, to work with her father. So what if they were mostly for show? It wasn’t as if Grigori were going to break into a suite at the Four Seasons and kidnap her. No one got kidnapped at a Four Seasons.

She sighed and contemplated calling her mother. She’d have to if she wanted Jasper’s number. Her phone had been left in Cappadocia, and she didn’t know anyone’s number from memory except for her mom’s. If she wanted to see Jasper, she had to call ahead. Most of his people didn’t know that Ava existed. Only his manager and head of security knew her by name.

She had time. Looking at Jasper’s website, it seemed like he’d be in Europe through the beginning of summer. Then she noticed movement out the window. It was Sari and Damien, arguing again.

“Cranky and Crankier headed back,” she told Orsala. “Estimated time of arrival, four minutes, unless they start arguing on the stairs.”

Orsala sighed. “They were always like this. For the life of me, I do not understand why.”

“They like it.”

“You’re not wrong.”

A few minutes later, Damien walked through the door with no Sari in sight. But the color was high on his cheeks and his lower lip looked distinctly… bitten.

He cleared his throat. “Sari went to call Renata. She finally got a message from her.”

“Oslo?”

He nodded and hung up his scarf on the back of the door. “I think so. Yes.”

Ava checked her work e-mail for the first time in weeks. Mostly junk, but there were thirty messages from her usual clients. A dozen or so from magazines she’d worked with occasionally. And another from an online publication she’d been considering approaching on her own. She liked their subscription numbers, and one of their regular photographers had won several prestigious awards last year. Things were moving online, and she didn’t want to be left behind.

A few months ago, she’d considered leaving her human job behind and following Malachi around the world. She didn’t know what they would do, but they’d be together. That dream was over. She’d have to find another. And with the knowledge she’d been learning from Orsala, the skills she’d learned from Mala, with a little preparation and a lot of caution, Ava thought she could probably have her old life back. At least a little bit. After all, what else was she going to do? Hunt the Grigori who had killed her mate? The attack in Bergen had shown her the foolishness of that. Join some war she didn’t understand for a race of people she barely belonged to? She had no ties here. No family.

She’d been living in a dream world in more ways than one. That wasn’t real life.

She needed her cameras, her computers, and an assignment that took her far, far away. Maybe going back to Antarctica was an option. The Galapagos. The Brazilian rain forest was probably Grigori-free.

And if it wasn’t, oh well.

“Damien,” she asked, “where are my cameras?”

“In Cappadocia, I believe. Didn’t you bring a small one with you?”

“I need my full-sized—never mind,” she muttered. “I’ll just buy new gear in Oslo.”

Maybe instead of taking one of the assignments the magazines were offering, she’d tag along with her dad on his tour. Take pictures of the rock music world for a while. He’d offered during his last tour of Asia, but their relationship had been too new. Too raw. It was still awkward to think of him as her father. But a few years had passed. They talked regularly… well, if every six months or so with the occasional e-mail between was regular.

He said he wanted to know her more. This might be the perfect opportunity.

Damien sat down beside her. “You seem…”

“What?”

“Distant. Did anything happen?”

I woke up from a dream. I realized the love of my life is really gone. I gave up pretending I was anything special.

“Nothing much. Just checking mail. I need to call my dad.”

“You talked to your mother last week, didn’t you?”

“She informs on me, but I should call him directly. He’s in London right now.”

“Hmm.” He was eyeing her with suspicion, but Ava ignored him. She ignored the pang of guilt. Damien would probably go batshit insane if she talked to him about following her dad on tour. But he wasn’t her boss. Sure, they said she was family, but she wasn’t. Not really. They had a political war to fight that didn’t include her. She didn’t even want to get involved. There were other girls like her out there? Fine. She’d survived. They would, too.

“I know you’ve been cooped up in here. Do you want to go out for a walk?”

And scope out Grigori soldiers for you, so you and Sari could kill them? Make myself even more of a target?

“No thanks. I’m fine.”

He was on to her, but Ava didn’t care. She was just… done. She could rebuild the wall Malachi had pulled down. She’d have to. Then she’d move on with her life. And if the Grigori caught up with her?

She didn’t really care anymore.

There were pounding footsteps on the stairs. The door burst open, and Sari rushed in. She stared at Ava, then her eyes darted to Damien. Then back to Ava.

“What’s the deal?” Ava was trying not to feel freaked out, but something was obviously wrong.

Sari blinked and closed the door behind her. “We need to get to Oslo.”

Damien frowned. “Why?”

“I’ll explain more in the car. But… we need to go.”

“Now?” Orsala asked. “The sun is almost down. It’s a six-hour drive. We’ll go in the morning.”

Damien was more cautious. “What is happening in Oslo?”

Sari glanced at Ava again, but Ava looked back to the computer. She’d follow along to Oslo, there was a large airport there. After that, she’d catch a plane to London and make her way from there. She was done with the Irin fantasy world. She needed to get back to her own.

“Some of the Istanbul scribes arrived at the Oslo house. There is… news you need to hear.”

Her heart twisted a little. Part of her would have liked to see Rhys, Leo, and Max again. But even the thought was too painful. They looked at her and saw Malachi’s mate. She looked at them and saw his brothers. It was too much.

Too much.

She was done.

“Pack up,” Sari said. “I promise I’ll tell you more in the car. I’m… not sure of everything that is happening. Renata is meeting with them tonight. We’ll talk to her after we get there. She’ll know more. Ava, are you ready to go?”

She closed the computer and shrugged. “I don’t have much stuff. I’ll throw it in a bag and we can disappear.”

Damien shot her another suspicious look, but she ignored it and started packing.

Oslo. She’d get to Oslo. And then she’d be gone.