The Shepherd’s Crown (Terry David John Pratchett) читать бесплатно онлайн полную версию книги (ч. notes)

Footnotes

1

The Feegles believed to a man that they had to be dead, as the world they now lived in was grand, filled as it was with so many opportunities for stealin’ and fightin’ and boozin’. A land fit for dead heroes.

2

Sometimes literally, since a kelda usually gave birth to about seven Feegle babies at a time. Jeannie herself had produced a daughter in amongst her first brood.

3

Lord Swivel’s father reckoned it was no waste, and that he had thoroughly enjoyed drinking the family fortune. At least, he thought this until he drank so much he fell over and met a gentleman with a decided lack of flesh on his bones and the definitive addition of a scythe a good few years earlier than he should have done.

4

He knew, too, that gods could sometimes make inconvenient requests. He had an associate who had chosen to follow the crocodile god Offler and then found he had to keep an aviary of tooth-cleaning birds handy to fulfil his god’s dental whims.

5

Very true, but a lot of people came from Fourecks, as is often the case with a Place-That-Nobody-Has-Ever-Heard-Of. They just never bothered to go back again.

6

Thus proving that books can teach you much, if only to give you a good name for a devilish smart goat.

7

The legend of Pilotus and his son Langas, who wanted to fly like the birds, was known by every well-educated boy. They did indeed build themselves wings by sewing together feathers and thistledown. The boy at least flew a little way, but his elderly and portly father crashed. The moral of the story is: understand what you are doing before you do it.

8

Granny’s soap was like her advice: strong and sharp and it stung a bit at the time, but it worked.

9

A popular idea among the young lads, since they felt that everyone — and ‘everyone’ definitely included the young ladies — should swim without their clothes.

10

Though Agnes does have the very handy excuse that if she behaves badly, it might not be Agnes doing the Devil-Amongst-the-Pictsies dance on the table, but her other personality, Perdita, who is much more outgoing and, incidentally, a lot thinner.

11

She did not know it, but a keen young philosopher in Ephebe had pondered exactly that same conundrum, until he was found one morning — most of him, anyway — surrounded by a number of purring, and very well fed, cats. No one had seemed keen to continue his experiments after that.

12

And its meals. It’s amazing how a night as an owl, snacking on voles, can really leave a nasty taste in your mouth.

13

She hadn’t ever needed to. Granny Weatherwax was like the prow of a ship. Seas parted when she turned up.

14

Pronounced Ah-wij.

15

The only known instance of the Feegles rebuilding a pub they had drunk dry and demolished. The rebuilt version, however, turned out back to front. Complete with a big ripe boil on the neck in question.

16

Thus proving that dreams that come true are not always the right dreams. Does wearing a glass slipper lead to a comfortable life? If everything you touch turns into marshmallows, won’t that make things a bit … sticky?

17

Pig-boring saved a lot of nasty squealing. A pig-borer, like Petulia, would talk to the pigs until they simply died of boredom.

18

Basically, if it had something herbal in it, Magrat and Verence thought it would do you good. With some of the herbs in Granny’s garden, this might be doubtful. At least in the short term. And it might not be wise to stray too far from the privy.

19

And contrary to popular belief, no witch Tiffany knew had yet managed to control a broomstick whilst also using an umbrella.

20

There was the usual man-who-puts-weasels-down-his-trousers in action too. Hence the need for a doctor.

21

It gets awfully cold up there, and no sensible witch ever took to the skies without several layers of flannelette between her and the stick.

22

Another tiny clue.

23

‘Enough’ wasn’t really a long enough word to describe the numerous little tasks any young woman marrying into the Ogg family found were expected of her.

24

Said in a way that made anyone listening know this instantly.

25

And heard her. For Mrs Earwig’s copious amount of jewellery announced the witch with such a cheerful jangle that it was as if it had ambitions to move from being a set of charms and amulets to being a full instrumental fanfare.

26

Though a Feegle will cheerfully lie about almost anything, so Tiffany still went into any privy with her eyes peeled for flashes of Feegle; she had even once had a nightmare about a Feegle popping up out of the other hole of her parents’ two-holer.

27

Pronounced ‘Chuffley’ under that strange rule that the more gentrified a family is, the more peculiar the pronunciation of their name becomes. Tiffany had once heard a highborn visitor named Ponsonby-Macklewright (Pwt) refer to Roland as Chf. She wondered how they managed at dinner when Pwt introduced Chf to Wm or Hmpfh. Surely it could lead to misunderstandings?

28

Spotting the truth was much harder.

29

It was a brave man indeed who could look upon a clan of Feegles and not want to tie the bottoms of his trousers tight around his ankles.

30

The Toad was the Feegles’ lawyer, his toad body the result of a misunderstanding with a fairy godmother.

31

The Feegles had, in fact, accidentally set fire to Tiffany’s broomstick, creating a need for new bristles.

32

There are some advantages to wearing layers needing double figures to count. Dwarfs like lots of layers of chainmail, jackets and — of course — the traditional woolly vest which actually makes the chainmail unnecessary.

33

‘River’ as a term doesn’t quite describe the sludge of the river Ankh in its course through the city, though it is of course a decent torrent up in Lancre.

34

Uberwald servants, usually working as doctors, or assistants to mad scientists, who believe a stitch in time saves a lot of bother later. They like to swap body parts from an early age, often within the same family, such that an Igor saying ‘He’s got his uncle’s nose’ really means something.

35

So a new stick, really. As new as the famous nine-hundred-year-old family mining axe owned by the King of the Dwarfs was anyway.

36

The Baron had given the Feegles their own land and the promise that no sharp metal beyond a knife would go near them, but the Feegles lied all the time themselves, so liked to be ready with boot and heid and fist should any other liar come calling.

37

Hamish’s trained buzzard Morag did the actual flying, of course. Mastering the art of flying wasn’t a problem for Hamish. Landings were another matter.

38

You might think that a name like Stank would put people off. But in fact the mountain village of Stank had once been a very popular place for tourists. They liked to send messages home saying, ‘We’re stinking in Stank.’ And go home with presents for their loved ones like tunics with ‘I’ve been to Stank and all I’ve brought home is this stinking tunic’ written on them. Alas for them, with the coming of the railways — or in the case of Stank, the not coming of the railways — tourists began to go elsewhere, and Stank was now gradually disappearing into the mud, surviving mostly by taking in washing.

39

It had been in The Goode Childe’s Booke of Faerie Tales and told how two little elves secretly helped a poor shoemaker, but sadly experience had taught Tiffany that a lot of what was in that book bore no relation whatsoever to the real Fairyland.

40

Most princesses never tried to kiss toads, however, which had been a source of sadness to the Feegles’ toad lawyer for many years.

41

Nanny’s friend on that occasion had been Count Casanunda the lowwayman — a highwayman who carried a stepladder on his horse, on account of his being a dwarf, and was most gallant towards the ladies he encountered.

42

A thought that she would most certainly grow out of, assuming she survived long enough.

43

It has in fact been said that elves are like cats; but cats will work together — for instance, when sharing a kill — while elves squabble and fight so that a third party may go home with the food.

44

It looked a rather poisonous green before it was heated up, but in most cases the end certainly justified the greens.

45

It disappeared pretty quickly too, as anyone given fairy gold soon discovered. Usually by the morning, which often meant a lively evening in the pub. And an even livelier evening the following night if visiting the same establishment.

46

Very true, though getting out again was sometimes trickier, especially if there was strong drink about.

47

Quite correct. As the common joke says, most inhabitants of Slice are more than one slice short of a loaf.

48

It appears to be a fact of life that if two or more well-born ladies should gather together, cupcakes are essential. Otherwise the ceiling might fall on them.

49

A very kind term for Agnes, used only by her friends.

50

A dance that should only be performed when no women are nearby. If you saw it, you would know why.

51

Most everyday working witches believed the best use for a book was on a nail in the privy.

52

Part of him anyway, his memories being relocated to Tiffany’s mind following an episode early in her witching life. The rather pedantic wizard’s knowledge, especially of ancient languages, came in very handy sometimes, like when she wanted to read a peculiar menu in Ankh-Morpork.

53

There was plenty of all these to pick from in Lancre, so he had a good choice of battlegrounds. As long as they were all up and down.

54

Horace was a cannibal cheese, an adopted member of the Feegle clan.

55

Shawn Ogg, in another of his royal duties.

56

We will now not know how the old folk of Twilight Canyons solve the mystery of a missing treasure and defeat the rise of a Dark Lord despite their failing memories, nor the secret of the crystal cave and the carnivorous plants in The Dark Incontinent, nor how Constable Feeney solves a whodunnit amongst the congenitally decent and honest goblins, nor how the second book about the redoubtable Maurice as a ship’s cat might have turned out. And these are just a few of the ideas his office and family know about.