The Shadow Queen

CHAPTER 15

As the last bandage came off, Shira studied Cassidy’s hands, then sighed in relief.

So did Cassidy.

“You’ll need to work them gently,” Shira said, “and I do mean gently. There’s still healing going on under the skin. And the skin itself is still fragile. Pulling on a tough blade of grass could be enough to slice it open.”

“Are you telling me not to work in the garden?”

“I’m telling you to be very careful about how much you do for the next few days,” Shira said. “And you should put a tight shield over your hands to protect them. And wear gloves.”

Cassidy rolled her eyes. “Now you sound like my father.”

“Maybe you should have listened to him.”

They glared at each other. Then Shira looked away, as if suddenly realizing she’d crossed some line.

And she had.

“I guess we’ve become friends,” Cassidy said, noting the look of surprise and pleasure in Shira’s eyes.

“I guess we have,” Shira replied a little cautiously. “So, what are you going to do first now that you can do things again?”

“It’s not the first thing I’ll do, but tonight I’m going to take a long, hot bath and soak until all of me wrinkles.” To her way of thinking, being given sponge baths because she couldn’t wash herself had been sufficient punishment for ripping up both hands. And needing someone’s help with even more personal needs . . .

Which made her think of the other thing she needed to discuss with Shira.

“Do you know a brew to delay a moontime?” Cassidy asked.

Shira frowned. “Why would you want to do that? It will only make the next one a lot worse.”

Cassidy wasn’t sure how to explain without sounding insulting. Because wanting to delay this was insulting.

“You don’t trust them, do you?” Shira asked.

“Trust who?”

“Your First Circle. You don’t trust them to protect you. You don’t trust them not to turn on you.”

She didn’t want to admit it, but she wasn’t going to deny the truth. A witch was vulnerable during the first three days of her moon cycle because she couldn’t use her own power to protect herself. And she felt far more vulnerable here in Dena Nehele than she had back home in Dharo.

Shira gave her a considering look. “You can trust Ranon. He won’t hurt you.”

“He’s not sure he wants to serve me.”

“No,” Shira said thoughtfully, “he’s sure of that. He’s . . . puzzled . . . by his response to you.”

A flash of understanding, especially when she realized Shira was acting more like a woman trying to brace herself for a truth that would wound.

“He wants to sniff my neck,” Cassidy said.

Shira hesitated, then nodded.

“And he’s not sure if that means something sexual.”

Another reluctant nod.

“It doesn’t.”

Shira’s eyes widened. “It doesn’t?”

“No. I’m not sure what the attraction is. I can’t see or feel anything. And I’m not sure what this impulse means to the males, except it’s not sexual.” She was pretty sure it wasn’t sexual. Maybe she should write to Jaenelle soon and ask. “When I was preparing to come here, Jaenelle told me any Warlord Prince who truly belongs to me will want to sniff my neck and I wasn’t to make a fuss about it.”

Shira’s mouth hung open. “Jaenelle? Witch told you that?”

Obviously the rest of the court knew what she’d told Talon about Jaenelle Angelline. Maybe that was why Theran had been so stiffly polite these past few days. “Yes. When I thought about it later, I realized I’d seen all the males in her First Circle stand behind her and a little to the right so that they could . . . Well, they weren’t obvious about it, but basically they were standing there in order to sniff her. But there wasn’t anything sexual about it. I suppose it was sexual with her Consort, but he arrived years after I had served my apprenticeship in the Dark Court, so Jaenelle’s brother Lucivar was the only one I saw kiss her on that spot, and it was friendly. Like when my brother, Clayton, gives me a kiss on the head.”

“It’s not sexual,” Shira said, not quite believing.

Cassidy shook her head and smiled. “Ranon is in love with you. I figured that out the first day when you offered your services to the court. So if the two of you want to find a suite of rooms in this place so you can live together, I have no objection. If you want to handfast, we’ll all ignore Theran’s mutters about expenses and have a party.” She frowned. “There are still Priestesses here, aren’t there?”

Looking a bit dazed, Shira nodded. “But I’m a Black Widow.”

“And judging by the reaction when you first came here, that’s not going to be an easy thing to be openly. But it shouldn’t stop you from being with someone you love.”

Shira walked over to the window and stared out. Since she kept wiping her cheeks, Cassidy went to the door, intending to slip out and give the other woman a little time to shed happy tears in private.

“How close are you?” Shira asked, turning her head a little. “To your moontime.”

“It will start in a few days. Maybe any day now, actually.”

“I can make up a brew that will delay it. Since you’re so close, I’m not sure it will delay it for a full cycle, but it will give you a little more time to get used to the males here.”

“Thank you.”

Cassidy left the room and paused outside the door. In Dharo, she had made few decisions that had meant much. Here, every decision she made, no matter how small, could ripple through the entire Territory.

Be what you are. That had been Jaenelle’s last bit of advice.

Maybe she wouldn’t accomplish much. Maybe her court would decide among themselves to keep her for a year as a token while they actually ruled. The Darkness knew they were all stronger than she, so there wasn’t anything she could do if they opposed her.

But she had done something of value today, and if she did nothing else while she was here, at least she’d made it possible for two people to love each other openly.

As she headed for the door that opened onto the terrace, Cassidy couldn’t stop smiling.

Gray pretended to rake the softened earth in front of him while he watched Cassie. The sun shone on that braid of fire as she walked across the lawn, and her strides were long and easy. Like the rest of her.

Every morning since the hurting she had come out to sit in the chair he set out for her. They talked about plants while he dug and weeded, reclaiming another piece of the gardens. And she talked to him about Protocol, since he studied a little more of the books each night and asked her questions.

He enjoyed the simple easiness of being around her, and looked forward to the hour or so they could spend together before she had to go inside to do her Queen work.

He hoped she would enjoy the surprise he had hidden in the wheelbarrow.

“Look,” Cassidy said, giving him a wide smile as she held up her hands. “No more bandages.”

Setting the rake aside, Gray scrubbed his hands on his pants to clean off a bit of the dirt before taking careful hold of her hands.

Healed. Not even a small scar to show the damage she had done to her hands.

Healed but not whole. Not yet. Maybe never. Maybe never as strong as before the hurting.

He had learned that painful lesson years ago.

“They’re not strong enough for digging,” Gray said. “Not yet.”

“I won’t know that until I—”

“No,” he said, his voice sharpened by a certainty he couldn’t explain. “They’re not strong enough yet, Cassie. Not for digging in ground that hasn’t been tended for too many years.”

She looked bewildered—and hurt—that he would snap at her like that.

He couldn’t stand to see her hurting, so he added quickly, “But you could plant.”

“Plant?”

Gray stepped to one side so that Cassie could see inside the wheelbarrow.

“Oh,” Cassie said, picking up one seed pot. “What are they?”

No longer sounding hurt. Now she sounded curious and excited—the seedlings of happiness.

“Don’t know the fancy name for it, but the common name is blue river,” Gray said. “It’s a delicate trailing plant that has small blue flowers. Starts blooming in late spring and into summer. If you cut it back some at that point, it will have a second blooming season. I was thinking about that boulder you weren’t sure of.”

Still looking at the plant, Cassie nodded. “It has that funny hole in it.”

“I figure that hole is about the size of a good-size pot. So if you plant one blue river in that hole and the others in front of the boulder . . .”

“It will look like a waterfall tumbling down rocks into a river. Gray, that’s a wonderful idea.” She gave him a quick kiss, right on the mouth, before she turned back to the wheelbarrow and began crooning to the little plants.

Gray stood frozen. She had kissed him. But not in a mean way. Not in a way that meant he was going to be tied down and hurt. Not the way the other Queen had done.

And not quite like a man-and-woman kiss. At least, he didn’t think so. It was done before he’d known it had started.

He wouldn’t mind trying a man-and-woman kiss if the woman was Cassie.

Would she want to try that kind of kissing with him?

“Gray?”

“Huh?”

“Where did you go?”

“Huh?”

Cassie stood in front of him, holding two of the seed pots, smiling at him, and looking a little puzzled.

“You have the strangest expression on your face,” Cassie said. “What are you thinking about?”

Oh, no. He knew better than to answer that question. “Did you ask me something before?”

Cassie studied him for a moment, then shook her head. “Males are very strange.”

Not half as strange as females, Gray thought.

“I asked where you got the plants.”

“Oh. There are a couple of women in town who grow plants for sale. They have greenhouses and everything. And there are two sisters who grow a lot of the plants Healers need for their brews and salves. So when Shira and Ranon went to look at plants yesterday, I went with them. And I found these.”

“I’d like to take a look at what’s available,” Cassidy said. “Maybe we could go back to those places tomorrow morning or the day after.” She wrinkled her nose. “I haven’t been in the town yet; things have been so busy here.”

“We?” Gray asked, wondering why his heart was feeling funny all of a sudden.

“You and me. Oh, and I suppose I’ll need an official escort as well just to keep everything proper.”

“Protocol,” Gray said, nodding. “You have to set a good example.”

Cassie rolled her eyes. “I know you’ve lived here all your life, but you sound like you’re from Kaeleer.”

The words made him feel strange—and good. And stronger in a way he couldn’t describe.

“I thought you could go with me,” Cassie said. “If you want to,” she added.

“I want to.”

Her smile when she was happy was bright enough to dazzle the sun.

“Daylight’s wasting,” Cassie said. She set the seed pots aside and held up her hands. “Look. A double shield over the skin and then heavy gardening gloves.” Which she called in and slipped over her hands.

“And your hat,” Gray said.

She wrinkled her nose at him but obeyed and called in her hat.

“Are you going to swear at me?” Gray asked.

“I’m thinking about it.”

He just grinned.

*Cassie? Cassie!*

Gray paused to watch the Sceltie’s dance of indecision. Vae clearly had an opinion about Cassie working in the garden—Hell’s fire, the dog had an opinion about everything—but she wasn’t sure if her “permission to nip” applied to the Queen.

“She’s all right,” Gray told Vae, glad for the excuse to take a break. Not that he needed an excuse. Not with Cassie. But he didn’t want to admit about himself what he’d been so quick to point out to her—sometimes damage couldn’t be healed all the way if you weren’t careful during the healing.

He didn’t want her to know. Wasn’t ready to tell her. Not yet. But he knew the warning signs and knew he needed to take some care or he’d be helpless and hurting.

“Yes, I’m all right,” Cassie said. She stripped off her gloves and held up her hands so Vae could see them. “See? Nothing hurt.” Then she looked at Gray. “But the hands have had enough work for the day.”

He shrugged and smiled. “Nothing more to plant anyway.”

“Was that deliberate?”

“Maybe.”

She studied him for a moment as a thread of awareness grew between them. Then she looked at the Sceltie. “Did you come out for walkies?”

*Theran said I am underfoot and should go outside for a while,* Vae replied.

“Nipped him, didn’t you?” Cassie said.

*Many times he will not listen until I nip him. But he is learning.*

“I’ll bet he is.” Cassie vanished her gloves and got to her feet. “I want to take a look at the rest of the garden, get a feel for the whole thing.”

“I’ll warn you now,” Gray said. “This is the best of it. At the far end, the ground is overrun with some kind of weed. Can’t dig it out. It just grows right back. Can’t even burn it out.”

“I’ll take a look.” Cassie turned toward the house. “What about that dead tree? Why didn’t anyone take down what’s left of it?”

“Can’t.” Gray rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “That honey pear tree is a symbol of the Grayhaven line. That’s why the Queens let it stand. At least, that’s partly why.”

“But it’s dead, Gray.”

“Yes.”

He saw the moment when she understood.

“Bitches,” she said softly.

“It’s dead, but it still taunted them,” Gray said. “I’ve been talking to some of the men who used to work here and some whose fathers worked here. They said some of the Queens tried to pull the tree down, but there’s something about it, about what’s left of it. Saws won’t cut the wood. Axes can’t do more than chip at the outside. And the roots are still so chained to the ground, the tree can’t be pulled out either. The soil all around it is so hard it can break a shovel, and Craft can’t touch it at all. So all that time, they said they left the tree to remind everyone that the Grayhaven line was gone, but in truth they left it because they couldn’t get rid of it.”

“Maybe because the line isn’t completely gone,” Cassie said.

“Maybe.”

“I hear the names Jared and Lia, Thera and Blaed. They must have been so important to this land, but I know so little. Does anyone know stories about them? Or were those lost too when the other Queens took over Dena Nehele?”

“Sure, there are stories,” Gray said. “I know some. So does Theran. Talon would know more because he knew the four of them. They were friends.”

“Do you think Talon would share some of those stories with me?”

“He’ll tell you. So will I.”

She stared at the tree and looked a little sad. Then she smiled at him. “I’d better take a look at the rest of the garden before someone comes looking for me.”

He watched her walk away, with Vae trotting beside her.

As he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, he felt a warning twinge in his back.

“Enough,” he said.

It surprised him how bitter his voice sounded that he couldn’t work anymore today. He’d never minded before when he had to stop.

But that was before it mattered that someone might think he was weak.

One last thing, he thought as he vanished the tools. He’d get a bucket of water to wet down the new plants, and he’d use Craft to take the weight of the full bucket instead of forcing his body to do more than it should. Then he’d get something to eat and sit in the shade while he studied the next part of the book on—

*Gray? Gray!*

His body stiffened in response to the panic in Vae’s voice. He saw Cassie at the far end of the garden, backing away from that weedy spot, one hand clamped over her mouth.

Something wrong. Something terribly wrong.

*Gray!*

He ran.

The moment Vae saw him running toward Cassie, she ran toward the house. He had no idea who the Sceltie was calling for help, but he was certain she’d do her best to rouse everyone she could.

He slowed to avoid running Cassie down. “Cassie!” Maybe it was nothing worse than a snake or a dead mouse. Maybe . . .

She turned to look at him. Her freckles were the only color in her face.

“It’s witchblood,” she whispered. Then she threw her arms around him and held on as if her life depended on it. “It’s witchblood.”

Her legs buckled, and he went down with her, wincing when his knees hit the ground.

“So many,” Cassie sobbed. “So many.”

He didn’t know what to ask, didn’t know what to do, didn’t understand why those black-edged red flowers upset her so much.

*Cassie? Cassie!*

Not alone, Gray thought as the Sceltie returned, whining anxiously.

Voices. Shouts. He couldn’t twist around to see, but moments later Theran and Ranon were there, asking questions he couldn’t answer while Cassie sobbed.

Then Shira was there, on her knees beside him. “What’s wrong? What happened? Is she hurt?”

“I don’t know,” Gray said, so shaken he began to stammer. “She looked at those weeds and got upset.”

“Not w-weeds,” Cassie gasped before she started crying harder.

“Mother Night,” Shira muttered. She called in a bottle Healers used to store tonics, yanked out the stopper, then grabbed a hunk of red braid and pulled Cassie’s head up. “Here. Drink this. Drink!”

Cassie drank. Gasped. Gulped air.

But she settled. When she rested her head on Gray’s shoulder, she was still shaking but no longer crying.

Shira sat back, took a swig from the bottle, then held it out to Gray. “You too.”

He obeyed and took a long swallow.

“What is that?” Theran asked.

“Brandy,” Shira replied.

By now the rest of the First Circle except Talon had reached the spot—even Powell, who was still puffing from the run.

Gray looked up at Theran. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Not your fault, Gray,” Theran replied softly.

“So many,” Cassie whispered. “So many.”

“So many what?” Shira asked with that quiet voice Healers used when they were asking about something painful.

“One for each,” Cassie said. “That’s how it grows. That’s how you know. One plant for each. Living memento mori. Can’t be killed once it takes root, can’t be hidden. Ground soaked in blood nourishes the seed.”

Gray saw the shock on the men’s faces. Saw Shira pale.

“Cassidy . . . ,” Shira said.

“It grows where a witch was killed,” Cassidy said. “It grows where her blood was spilled in violence. So many died in that spot.”

“Mother Night,” Ranon said.

Gray wasn’t sure which of them was still shaking—he or Cassie—until she pulled away from him to sit up on her own.

It was him.

“Can I have more of that?” Cassie asked, reaching for the tonic bottle.

Shira handed it over without a word.

“Do you know who might have died here, Theran?” Ranon asked.

Theran looked sick. “I’m not sure. Thera, I think. And Talon’s wife.”

“I’ve seen so much of this stuff growing in Dena Nehele— and in the Shalador reserves,” Ranon said. “Was told it was just a weed, an invasive weed. Mother Night.”

Feeling timid, Gray touched Cassie’s shoulder. “What do we do now?”

“It’s overgrown with weeds and hasn’t been tended for too long,” Cassie said. “So we’ll tend that ground and the witchblood that grows there.” She paused. “The Black Widows in the Dark Court told me that witchblood knows the name of the one who has gone, and if you know how, the plant can tell you whose blood nourished the seed.”

Mutters. Murmurs. Shira shuddered.

“I can ask how it’s done—if you want to know,” Cassie said, looking at Shira.

“I—Grayhaven?” Shira said, looking at Theran.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know if . . . I don’t know.”

Cassie nodded. When she shifted position, Theran offered a hand to help her stand up.

Gray got to his feet, wincing a little and pretending he didn’t see the way Shira was studying him before Ranon pulled her up.

“We’re going to clean up that ground,” Cassie said.

*Gray and Cassie need to rest,* Vae said.

“Yes, they do,” Shira said. “Lady Cassidy’s hands are still fragile, and if she’s going to stay out here and supervise, I want Gray to stay close by and keep her company. But I’d like to help clean up that part of the garden.”

“So would I,” Ranon said.

“Gray?” Theran said. “Do you have tools we could use?”

Gray called in the tools he’d vanished, handing them out as Theran, Ranon, and Archerr came up to claim them.

“The short-handled claws would work better for the tight places,” he said. “They’re still in the shed.”

“I’ll get them,” Ranon said, handing the hoe to Shira.

They worked in the garden the rest of the morning, moving carefully between plants that now held a different meaning.

Gray watched them, frustrated because all he could do was watch. There was an odd comfort in knowing Cassie was just as frustrated that she couldn’t help.

And there was no comfort at all in the way Theran kept looking at Cassie when he thought no one was watching.