The Shadow Of What Was Lost

Chapter 43

Caeden watched as Taeris leaned back, evidently trying to absorb everything he’d just been told.

Caeden had spent the past half-hour explaining the events of the evening and, to a lesser extent, what had precipitated them. About how Alaris had contacted him through the dok’en, had warned him against revealing information to the Gifted. Had warned him to distrust them completely.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Taeris' expression was more thoughtful than angry.

Caeden looked at the ground. “Alaris said that if you found out who I truly was, you would kill me.”

The scarred man nodded slowly. “You were scared.”

Caeden’s cheeks burned. “I should have trusted you,” he said, his voice catching. “I don’t know why I didn’t. You’ve shown me nothing but kindness and good faith since we met.”

“Trusting someone is one thing, lad. Trusting them with your life is another entirely. I can’t say that this has made things any easier for us here, but… I understand.” Taeris' tone was gentle, with only a hint of the frustration he surely must have been feeling.

"Thank-you," said Caeden softly. He paused, then gave Taeris a cautious glance. "How long were you waiting?"

"I came as soon as I felt that Essence blast. Not many of the Gifted around here could have produced that," Taeris observed dryly. He rubbed his forehead. “The men you fought. You’re certain they were Blind?”

“I think so. They didn’t have the helmets, but they were wearing black armour. They were a good deal faster than normal men, too.”

“And yet you killed all five of them.” Taeris raised an eyebrow.

Caeden hesitated. “I can do what they do, only… better. And without the armour.”

“You think it’s the armour giving them these powers?”

“I’m sure of it.” Caeden had already had some time to think about this. “Slowing your passage through time like that is an Augur ability; those five men couldn’t all have been Augurs. Combine that with the way their armour absorbed Essence….”

Taeris gave a thoughtful nod. “And as I said, I felt the blast from here. This is bad, Caeden. Very bad. It means that even if the Gifted get a chance to fight, we’re going to be less effective than we’d hoped.”

“I know.”

There was silence for a few seconds, then Taeris began pacing. “The question is - how did they get in? The city is supposed to be locked down; everyone is being searched as they enter. Men transporting black armour would certainly have been stopped.” He paused, frowning. “Unless, of course, they have been here for some time. Waiting.” He glanced at Caeden. “When did you make contact with Alaris?”

Caeden calculated. “Just after Deilannis. A month ago, perhaps?”

Taeris nodded to himself. “A week before the invasion began. Those men could have been sent ahead to help Das kill you - they could have slipped into the city as recently as a couple of weeks ago." He stared worriedly into space as another possibility occurred to him. "Or, they may have been sent ahead for a different purpose entirely, and Alaris simply took advantage of their presence here."

Caeden swallowed. "A different purpose… like what?"

"Scouting. Sabotage. Fates only know." Taeris was silent for a few seconds as he considered it some more, then shook his head. "Regardless - the Blind are clearly afraid of you, Caeden. Whatever is locked away in that memory of yours, it’s evidently something they don’t want uncovered." He rubbed his chin. "When you spoke to Alaris, did you tell him where you were going?"

"No." Caeden hesitated, grimacing as he recalled the conversation. "He knew I was travelling with Gifted, though. He probably could have guessed where I was headed… but he couldn’t be certain, so maybe Das was the bait. He knew that if I really wanted answers, I’d have to come here. Sooner rather than later, too, once I heard about the invasion."

"That sounds like it would be about right." Taeris bit his lip. "Unless…."

"Unless what?"

Taeris sighed. "I’ve been thinking a lot about the Blind, Caeden, and there’s always been something that hasn’t quite made sense. They’ve never acted like a conquering army, trying to maintain control of the territory they’ve gained. And if they were sent by Aarkein Devaed, why just a thousand men? We know there are at least dar’gaithin out there as well, so why not send them too - everything he has?"

He leaned forward. "But think about the timing of all this. If you’re such a threat to them… maybe when Alaris made contact with you and realised that you might get your memories back, it forced them to act early. The Boundary is weak, but we know it hasn’t collapsed yet, not completely - why not wait until that happens, and send everything they have at once?" He nodded to himself. "I think… there’s a possibility this entire attack is about you, Caeden. I think they may have lured you here, and are coming for you before you can remember anything. While you’re vulnerable.”

Caeden felt a chill as he considered the possibility. “So I’m responsible for even more deaths,” he observed, his tone heavy.

“No. You can’t think like that. This has to be a precursor to Devaed’s real attack; the only reason he would send an advance party like this – giving us warning, time to prepare for whatever comes after – is if you are somehow a threat to him. Perhaps his only threat." Taeris shook his head. "It’s only a theory. But if I had to guess, I would say that he can’t risk you remembering… whatever it is you know.”

Caeden shifted uncomfortably. "Even if you’re right, I’m not going to be able to remember anything from a cell," he pointed out. "The princess knows I took off the Shackle, saw me sneak out. It’s only a matter of time before I’m locked up." He rubbed his forehead, glancing at the door, still half-expecting guards to come crashing through it at any moment.

“We will have to see how Karaliene reacts before we make any plans,” Taeris admitted. “If she wants to clap you in irons, then we will have to adapt. But I suspect she will at least hear you out - and from everything you’ve told me, there’s a good chance she will be grateful.”

Caeden gave Taeris a puzzled look. “Grateful?”

Taeris smiled, looking amused. “You did break her trust, Caeden, but… you also saved her life. You saved her and brought her back here, when you could have escaped and left her to her death. You may think what you did was the logical choice, but some people aren’t as naturally good-hearted as you." He shrugged. "Growing up here, Karaliene’s probably seen more of the selfish side of human nature than you or I put together. I’m sure that on some level, she’ll appreciate the sacrifice you made.”

Caeden frowned. He wanted to believe Taeris, but it had been his fault that Karaliene was in danger in the first place. Besides, her disapproving glares from earlier that day were too fresh in his mind for Taeris' words to give him any comfort. “And if she doesn’t throw me in prison?” he asked.

“Then nothing changes. I keep pressing Tol Athian to use the memory device, and hope that Karaliene’s contacts are helping our cause in the background.”

Caeden sighed. “So for now, I just… wait?”

“Yes. If you run then Karaliene will assume the worst, and this opportunity we’ve been given here will be for nothing." Taeris shook his head. "And anyway - if things go badly with her, we do have a last resort."

Caeden raised an eyebrow. "Which is?"

Taeris hesitated, then drew a small, smooth white stone from his pocket.

"I gave Nashrel the other Travel Stone, back at the Tol. I’m hoping he stored it with the other Vessels in Tol Athian." He stared at the stone grimly. "It’s not charged yet; I’ve only been able to use the smallest trickle of Essence here in the palace. But it should be ready in a couple of days. It was my intention only to use it if the Blind got too close to Ilin Illan, when there was no longer any chance of convincing the Council to help. But if you get locked up, we can use it earlier. Break you out, if need be."

Caeden looked at the white stone with trepidation. "Won’t Tol Athian know we’re there if we use it, though?"

"Oh yes," said Taeris with an emphatic nod. "The Elders will detect the portal as soon as we open it inside the Tol - we’ll have only minutes to both locate and use the Vessel that can restore your memories. If that."

"And if the other Travel Stone is somewhere else in the Tol?"

"Then it will be a short trip." Taeris slipped the stone back into his pocket with a sigh. "But there’s no benefit to worrying about any of that right now - it may be an option we’ll never have to use. The best thing you can do at the moment is try to sleep, if you can. Whatever action Karaliene is going to take, it seems likely at this point that she isn’t going to take it until morning.”

Caeden inclined his head. “Thank-you, for being so understanding about all of this. And… I truly am sorry for not telling you about Alaris sooner. I know I’ve caused a lot of trouble this evening."

"I’m just glad you know which side you’re on, now," said Taeris with a tight smile. He gave Caeden a slight nod, and slipped out the door.

Caeden stared into space for a few minutes after he’d gone, lost in thought. Eventually he gave a tired shake of his head and decided to follow Taeris' advice, lying down on the soft bed and closing his eyes, trying to ignore the knot of worry in his stomach.

Still, it was a long time before he could sleep.

Caeden yawned.

For a moment he lay in his comfortable bed, blissfully sleepy, aware that something had happened the previous night but not quite remembering what.

Then the memories returned and he sat up straight, any semblance of tiredness gone.

The world outside the open window was still dark, but Caeden could detect a hint of grey in the black night sky. It was morning, albeit still before dawn. That was a good sign; he’d half-expected to be woken sooner by guards with instructions to haul him off to the dungeons. It seemed the princess had decided against that course of action – or at least decided to hold off on it.

He rose and dressed, enough time passing that he was almost beginning to relax when a sharp knock at the door made him freeze.

“Open up,” came a stern voice from the other side.

Caeden glanced at the open window and for a brief, wild moment considered running. He wouldn’t get within a hundred feet of the wall before being stopped, though.

He walked over to the door and opened it, trying to look calm.

Outside he was surprised to see Karaliene herself, flanked by two burly and very displeased-looking guards. Her arms were crossed and a frown was plastered across her face; even so, the sight of her made Caeden’s heart skip a beat.

Then he took a deep breath, focusing. This was the princess - and she currently held his fate in her hands. He couldn’t afford to let himself be put off-balance, no matter how lovely she looked.

“Your Highness,” he said formally, remembering to bow just in time. “How can I help you?”

“You can help me by having a conversation with me.” Karaliene strode forward, grabbing his arm and steering him back inside. “In private,” she added with a glare, stopping her two bodyguards in their tracks. She shut the door in their faces.

Caeden waited for the princess to take a seat, then sat opposite her, his heart pounding and a heavy feeling in his stomach. This was it. He tried to tell from Karaliene’s face what his punishment would be, but her expression was inscrutable.

“You snuck out of the palace last night,” Karaliene observed, her tone flat. "You found a way to remove your Shackle."

“I did, Your Highness,” acknowledged Caeden.

Karaliene leaned forward. "You broke the two conditions I had for allowing you to stay here. The only two conditions."

Caeden swallowed. "Yes. I…." He sighed, not knowing where to begin, what to say. His shoulders slumped a little. "I apologise, Your Highness. I made a mistake." He put every ounce of sincerity he had into the statement.

Karaliene watched him for a long moment, eyes narrowed. She looked… puzzled. As if she had been expecting an entirely different reaction.

"Were you trying to run?" she asked. "How did you get out of the Shackle?"

Caeden was silent for a few seconds, trying to think of how best to explain everything. "I wasn’t running. I planned to come back," he said. "I was told that there was a man in the city who knew something about my past. I went to visit him, but it was a trap." He couldn’t keep the bitterness from his tone.

Karaliene studied him, looking sceptical. "And you couldn’t have just asked for my permission to see him?"

"It was… complicated," said Caeden, the words stumbling off his tongue. He grimaced, knowing how evasive and vague the answer sounded.

Karaliene frowned a little, but still looked more perplexed than angry. "Then you should probably do your best to explain it," she said quietly.

Caeden hesitated but eventually sighed, nodding. He could see from the princess' expression that anything short of the whole truth would probably land him in the dungeons.

He took a deep breath, and told her everything he could about his meeting with Alaris.

His throat was hoarse by the time he was done. Karaliene watched him for a long few seconds, her expression unreadable. Then she rose, crossing to the basin and pouring a glass of water. She sat back down opposite Caeden, offering him the drink silently.

He gave her an appreciative nod, taking a long swig, using the moment to brace himself for whatever was about to come.

"They were Blind, weren’t they," said Karaliene, her voice soft.

Caeden blinked in surprise at her gentle tone, but nodded his confirmation. “I think so.”

“And you killed them all?" Karaliene watched him closely. "The Administrators found the bodies last night - it’s supposed to be a secret, but the entire palace has been talking of nothing else this morning.”

Caeden nodded again, a little awkwardly this time. “I had to,” he admitted. He didn’t mention that he had left Havran Das alive. If the man had information about who Caeden really was, then Caeden needed to find him before anyone else.

Karaliene bit her lip. “My uncle has ordered Dras Lothlar to examine their armour. Is that what made them so quick? When they caught me, it was like… I was stuck in glue. Every time I tried to hit them, one of them would catch my wrist before I could swing.” She shivered. “And they were strong. Stronger than they should have been, I’m sure. That wasn’t my imagination, was it?”

Caeden shook his head. “No,” he said quietly.

Karaliene looked at him in silence for a while. Gone were the hard, disapproving glares from their earlier meetings. Now she just seemed… curious. “I saw you,” she said eventually. “I saw you move towards them. You were so fast. And graceful, like….” She shook her head at the memory. “You were almost a blur, even compared to them.” She raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

Caeden shrugged. “It’s the same as what happened with the Shackle. I have these… other abilities, when I need them. I can’t control them, though. That’s one of the reasons Taeris wants me to get my memory back - so I can understand those abilities, use them against the Blind.” He hesitated. “He thinks I may be an Augur.”

Karaliene nodded. “That sounds about right,” she murmured, almost to herself. She bit her lip. "So what do you want?"

Caeden stared at her blankly. "Want?"

Karaliene made an impatient gesture. "For saving me. We both know you didn’t have to do it."

Caeden frowned. "Of course I had to do it. Those men would have killed you." Taeris had said much the same thing, but he couldn’t understand it - leaving Karaliene to the Blind had never been an option, and the idea that anyone thought it had been was vaguely offensive. "It wasn’t for some sort of reward."

There was a long silence as Karaliene continued to stare at him like a puzzle in need of solving, until Caeden began to grow uncomfortable.

Finally the princess leaned forward. “So you knew that being caught outside the palace could end in your being thrown in prison. You knew I’d followed you. Despite that, you fought off five men, then carried me back here – not just to the palace, but to my own rooms." Her eyes narrowed. "And you want nothing for this?” Her face was impassive, not giving away even a hint of what she thought of that particular scenario.

Caeden hesitated. "Not being thrown in prison would be nice," he said cautiously.

There was another long silence, then Karaliene gave an abrupt, disbelieving laugh.

"You’re serious." She gave a rueful shake of her head, eyes shining for a moment as she looked at Caeden.

He smiled back, a little dazed. “So… you’re not angry?”

Karaliene stared at him, a half-smile on her lips. “No." She brushed a stray strand of blond hair back behind her ear. "It seems I have misjudged you,” she added, sounding like she rarely made such admissions. She glanced towards the door. “Have you seen much of the palace?”

Caeden shook his head.

The princess stood. “Then perhaps I should show you around.”

Caeden stood too, noting the still-dark sky outside the window. "At this hour, Your Highness?"

Karaliene gave him an amused look. "I would like to continue this conversation," she said, still smiling, " but I’m not sure that the two men outside your door would believe that was what was happening in here if we stayed much longer. They don’t need to accompany us, but they will certainly be more comfortable if we’re not locked away together."

Caeden gave a nervous laugh, trying not to look flustered. "Then lead the way, Your Highness. I’d be honoured."

Karaliene snorted. “And no need for the formalities, Caeden. You saved my life. In private, you can call me Kara.”

Caeden ducked his head, still a little bemused at the turn of events. “I will.”

They walked to the door. Karaliene opened it and immediately she was cold and formal once again; to Caeden’s eyes she grew six inches, somehow seeming to tower over the muscular bodyguards waiting outside.

“You may leave us,” she said in a peremptory tone. “I am going to show Caeden around the grounds. Your presence is no longer required.”

The shorter of the men gave her a nervous look. “Highness, if I may suggest -”

“No.” Karaliene cut him off with a slicing gesture. “No discussion. I know my father and uncle worry about me, but I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”

The guard opened his mouth to protest, but one look from Karaliene silenced him as effectively as a slap to the face. Caeden tried to hide his amusement, but he still got a dirty stare from both men as they wandered off, their expressions sullen.

Once the men were out of sight, Karaliene relaxed again, and they began walking – not aimlessly, exactly, but at a companionable stroll, chatting about small things as they went.

Caeden’s nervousness soon faded away. The princess was easy to talk to, even charming now that she had dropped her formal facade, and Caeden found himself enjoying the conversation. At certain points, though, he had to remind himself of their respective positions. There was a warmth to Karaliene’s expression now when she looked at him, and she certainly showed no signs of wanting to be elsewhere… but she was still the princess. He knew that this newfound friendliness was nothing more than her expressing her gratitude.

Even so, time passed faster than Caeden would have credited, and it seemed only a few minutes later that they came to a balcony overlooking a wide-open courtyard, the now mid-morning sun bright in the sky. A squad of soldiers trained below, their swords flashing sporadically in the light. Caeden and Karaliene just watched for a while, the pleasant mood of the conversation lost as the reality of what was coming set in. The men below wore grim expressions; no-one laughed or joked as they worked.

“I wish I could understand why these men have been acting so carelessly,” said Karaliene softly.

Caeden glanced at her. “What do you mean?”

Karaliene sighed. “General Parathe has been reporting to my father that they have started to just… take days off. Drinking and carousing, presumably. One day they fail to report for duty; the next day they just turn up and act like nothing is wrong. Parathe disciplined them at the start, but the problem is so widespread now that he cannot afford to. If General Jash’tar cannot stop the Blind, we will need every man we can get.”

"Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that," said Caeden.

Karaliene turned to him; he felt his heart skip at how close she was standing. "That’s what everyone else is saying, though - and that’s why I’m worried," she said in a low tone. "My father, the Houses - they’re so confident that our advantage in numbers is all that matters. And until last night, I might have agreed with them, but now…." She shivered, shaking her head. "I know Laiman Kardai and my uncle have been preparing the city for a siege since the first day they heard about the Blind, so I suppose we at least have that. But aside from those two, everyone else just seems to think that this invasion is a chance to play politics."

Caeden glanced across at her; Karaliene’s tone was bitter. “How so?”

Karaliene hesitated, then grimaced. “Thanks to my father’s… instability, I’ve heard rumour of at least two of the Great Houses planning for the possibility of ruling. Not planning to rule, of course; that would be treason. But making sure that if there is an empty throne in the near future, they would be nearby to sit in it.” She shrugged. “And I’m a complication to those sort of plans, as you can imagine.”

Caeden looked at her in disbelief. “Surely they wouldn’t risk making things even more unstable. Not now.”

“You really haven’t spent much time around men of power, have you,” Karaliene said with wry amusement. “Take last night. In your place, half of the nobility would have demanded a heavy reward for saving me, and the other half would have just let me die.” She smiled, though with a hint of sadness.

Caeden looked at her with horror. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “That must be hard.”

“Don’t misunderstand, Caeden. I’m a princess; there are plenty of benefits too. I don’t have to face many of the everyday trials that most people go through.” Karaliene’s smile faded. “But at times like this? Yes, it can be hard.”

They watched the soldiers for a while longer, then Karaliene said, “Who do you think they are?” She made a vague gesture to the north.

Caeden paused to think. “I believe what Taeris believes,” he said after a moment. “That these men have been sent by Aarkein Devaed.”

The princess nodded. “There was something… wrong about that armour last night. It made me feel sick just being in contact with it.”

“Then you believe too?”

The princess shook her head slowly. “I don’t know. It all still seems so surreal. A bedtime story brought to life.” She looked at him, expression curious. “Why do you believe?”

Caeden shrugged. “I just know,” he said quietly. “Somehow, I know that he’s not just a myth. When I think of him, I think of someone to be feared.” He sighed. “I seem to know a lot of things that no-one else does, though.”

Karaliene considered. “Perhaps that’s why your memories were removed,” she suggested. “Perhaps you found out too much about Aarkein Devaed?”

Caeden rubbed his forehead. “Maybe.” It was similar to Taeris' suggestion – it could certainly explain why the invaders seemed to be after him – yet he didn’t think it was correct. But then, he couldn’t even give a reason as to why he thought that. It was all very confusing.

Karaliene saw his disconsolate expression and hesitantly reached a hand out, laying it on his forearm. “Whatever it is, I’m sure you will get to the bottom of it.”

Caeden’s breath caught and he froze, as if Karaliene were a bird he could accidentally scare off with a sudden movement. The princess didn’t remove her hand straight away and for a long moment they just stood there, watching the soldiers.

Then there were footsteps behind them and Karaliene turned smoothly, letting her hand slip to her side again.

Caeden turned as well, cringing to see Aelric striding towards them. With the possible exception of the king or the Northwarden, Aelric was the last person he’d wanted to see him with the princess. He’d heard the young swordsman talk of her often enough over the past month or so to know that he was hopelessly in love with her. The black expression on his face as he looked at Caeden did nothing to dispel that notion.

“Your Highness,” said Aelric stiffly, bowing to Karaliene. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Your uncle was most upset when he discovered you had dismissed your guards - especially to wander off in the early hours of the morning with a servant.” He shot an accusatory glare at Caeden. “I thought it best to find you before he did, lest he start taking too close an interest in who it is you’re with.”

Karaliene hesitated, for a moment looking like she was going to protest. Then she gave an exasperated sigh. “Very well.” She turned to Caeden. “I’m sorry, but I really should go.”

Caeden smiled. “I have no doubt you have more important things to do, Your Highness. I’m honoured to have received as much time as I have.”

Karaliene smiled at him warmly. “I hope we can talk again,” she said. “Soon.” With a final, irritable glare at Aelric, she walked back towards the palace.

Aelric made as if to follow, then stopped, frowning. He turned back to Caeden. “What was that all about, then?” he asked. There was nothing untoward in the question or his demeanour, but Caeden could sense the underlying tension.

Caeden gave an awkward shrug. “The princess offered to show me around the palace.”

Aelric scowled openly now. “That’s not what I meant.” His eyes narrowed. “Yesterday, she could barely stand the sight of you. Now she’s talking to you like you’re her best friend?” Caeden breathed a sigh of relief. It at least sounded like Aelric had not seen Karaliene’s hand on his arm, however brief it had been.

Caeden gestured, indicating ignorance. “I don’t know why she changed her mind.”

Aelric stared at him for a few seconds in silence. “Very well,” he said eventually, “but let me make this clear.” He leaned forward, lowering his voice. “If I find out you’re using some sort of Augur power to influence her, I will end this.” He looked conflicted. “I have no wish to see you harmed, Caeden. I believe that there is something… special about you. But if it means protecting Karaliene, I won’t hesitate to tell Elocien and the king about you.”

Without anything further, he spun on his heel and stalked off, leaving Caeden to stare after him worriedly.