The Search for Zei

CHAPTER XIII

Although Barnevelt had expected the assembling of the expedition to consume a week, all the major matters had been taken care of by the end of the long Krishnan day. There were a dozen ships and boats for sale: an all-sail fisherman, seaworthy but slow; a naval galley-barge that would have needed a larger crew than the Earthmen cared to ship; a couple of wormy wrecks good for little but firewood…

"You pick her, pal," said Tangaloa, blowing smoke-rings. "You are the naval expert."

Barnevelt finally chose an anomalous little craft with a single lateener mast, fourteen one-man oars, and a stench of neglect. However, under her dirt he recognized good lines and satisfied himself that her wood was sound.

He shot a keen look at the dealer. "Was this craft built for smuggling?"

'Tis true, Lord Snyol. How knew ye? The queen's men took it from a crew of illegals and sold it at auction. I bought it in hope of turning a small but honest profit. But for three revolutions of Karrim has it lain upon my shelf, for legal traders and fishers find it not sufficiently capacious for their purposes, while for military use is it too slow. Therefore I offer it cheaply—a virtual gift."

"What's it called?"

"The Shambor, a name of good omen."

The price the man asked did not strike Barnevelt as exactly giving the ship away, however. When he had beaten the dealer down as far as he thought he could, Barnevelt bought the ship and made arrangements for careening, scraping, painting, and renewing all questionable tackle. Then he and Tangaloa repaired to the Free Labor Mart and posted applications with the crier for seamen of exceptional courage and loyalty, because, as he made plain, the expedition entailed risks of no ordinary jeopardy.

After that they went to a second-hand clothing shop, where they procured the blue uniform of a courier of the Mejrou Qurardena. And as the uniform—the only one in stock-fitted Barnevelt fairly well while Tangaloa could not get into it, Barnevelt was elected to wear it for the invasion of the Sunqar.

When their dinners had settled and they had gone back to their room to put on their best clothes, they set out for the palace which, like most of Ghulinde, was lighted by jets of natural gas. They were ushered into a room containing Queen Alvandi, Princess Zei, Zakkomir bad-Gurshmani, and a paunchy, bleary-eyed, middle-aged Krishnan sadly setting out a game board.

"My consort Kaj, such as he is," said Queen Alvandi, introducing the Earthmen under their Nyami pseudonyms.

"It's a great honor," said Barnevelt.

"Spare me these empty encomiums," said King Kaj. "Once had I, like you, some small name in gests of war or sport, but all's done now."

"Rrrrrk," said a familiar voice, and there was Philo in his cage. The macaw let Barnevelt scratch among the roots of his feathers without trying to bite.

The king continued: "Play you chanijekka?"

Barnevelt, a little taken aback by Zei's rising to offer him her seat, peered at the game board. The latter looked somehow familiar: a hexagonal board with a triangular crisscross of lines covering the interior area.

"Father!" said Zei, who had just lighted her cigar on a gasjet. "How oft must I tell you 'tis pronounced 'chanize-kash?"

"The proper form of the name," said Queen Alvandi, "is 'chanichekr'."

"Be not absurd, Mother!" said Zei. " 'Tis 'chanizekash,' is't not, Zakkomir?"

"Whatever you say's right by definition, O star-jewel of the Zogha," said that young man.

"Weathervane!" said the queen. "Any noddy knows…*

King Kaj snorted. "If I have but a ten-night to anticipate, then by Qunjar I'll call it what I please!"

"If you say it, 'tis probably wrong," said Queen Alvandi, "and I take ill your calling on a sanguinary god whom the righteous edicts of my predecessors have banished from the land! I have always understood 'chanichekr.' How say you, O men of Nyamadze?"

Barnevelt gulped. Feeling a little like a man who has been asked to step into a cage to separate a pair of fighting lions, he replied: "Well—uh—in my land it's known as 'Chinese checkers.' "

"Just as I pronounced it," said the queen, "save for your barbarous outland accents. Chanichekr shall it be to any who'd play with me. Choose you now, arid red moves first."

She held out a fistful of markers, one of each of the six colors. King Kaj drew red. He looked at it lugubriously, saying:

"Were I as lucky in the kashyo drawing as in this, I should not now face a wretched and untimely cease…"

"Stop your croaking, you wormy old aqebat!" yelled the queen. "Of all my consorts you're the most useless, in bed or out! Anyone would think you'd not had all the luxe the land provides in the year just gone. Now to your play. You're slowing the game."

Barnevelt inferred that Kaj was one of those one-year consorts decreed by the curious customs of this land, and that the end of his term and of his life were fast approaching in the form of the kashyo festival. Under the circumstances he could hardly blame Kaj for taking a dim view of things.

"Zakkomir," said Princess Zei, "you'll get nowhere with a move of that description. Why build you not a proper ladder?"

"Play your own game and keep your big nose out of mine, sweetling," retorted Zakkomir.

"The insolence of the princox!" cried Zei. "Master Snyol, would you term my nose large?"

"Matter of fact, I should call it 'aristocratic' rather than plain 'big,' " said Barnevelt, who had been stealing furtive looks at the princess' boldly handsome features. He stroked his own sizeable proboscis.

"Why," she asked, "is a beak-nose a badge of birth in far Nyamdaze? With us 'tis the contrary, the flatter the nobler-wherefore have I ever in my companions' laughter read mockery for my base-born looks. Perchance should I remove to this cold clime of yours, where my ugliness by the alchemy of social custom might to beauty be transmuted."

"Ugliness!" said Barnevelt, and was thinking up a neat compliment when Zakkomir broke in:

"Less female self-appraisal, madam, and more attention to your game. As the great Kurde remarked, beauty of thought and deed outlasts that of skin and bone, be the latter never so seductive."

"And not pleased am I to hear our customs made light of," growled Queen Alvandi. "Such mental mirror-posturing is meet for vain and silly males, but not for one of the stronger sex."

As Zei, looking a bit cowed, returned to her game, Zakkomir turned to Barnevelt. "General Snyol… O General!"

Barnevelt had fallen into a trance watching Zei and woke up with a start. "Huh? Beg pardon?"

"Tell me, sir, how go your preparations for the gvam hunt?"

"Mostly done. There's actually little left but to pay our bills, choose our crew, and oversee the overhaul of the ship."

"I'm tempted to cast my lot with you," said Zakkomir. "Long have I lusted for such adventure…"

"That you shall not!" cried the queen. " 'Tis much too perilous for one of your sex, and as your guardian I forbid it. Nor would it look well for one so near the royal house to engage in this disreputable traffic. Kaj, you scurvy scrowl, my move to block! Would we could advance the festival's date to one earlier than that dictated by conjunction astrological."

Barnevelt was just as glad of the queen's interference. Zakkomir might be all right under his lipstick, but it wouldn't do to have strangers cutting in on the deal, especially as the expedition was not what it seemed.

"In truth," said Zei, "the dangers of the Banjao Sea are not to be undertaken in a spirit of frivolity. Could we persuade you two to give up this rash enterprise, sirs, high place could be found for you in our armed service, which being sore disordered at the moment needs captains of your renown to officer it."

"What's this?" said Tangaloa.

The queen answered: "My foolish lady warriors protest the men won't wed 'em for divers reasons, all addle-pated. There's factional quarrels 'mongst the several units and insubordinate jealousy amongst the officers—oh, 'tis a long and heavy-footed tale. The upshot is, I must bend my principles to the winds of human weakness and hire a male general to knock some silly crowns together. And as such employ to our own men is forbidden, I must seek my leader from foreign lands, however such choice may grate upon our pride. Do you perceive my meaning?"

King Kaj, who seldom got a word in edgewise, spoke up: "How soon will you depart, my masters?"

"Not soon enough to avail you!" snapped Alvandi. "I see how blows the breeze, my friends. He'll think to seduce you into leaving early, having smuggled himself aboard in the guise of a sack of tabid tubers, and so provoke the righteous wrath of the Mother Goddess by evading the just price of his year's suzerainty. Know, sirs, you had better watch your respective steps, for this day have I signed the death warrants of three miserable males who sought unauthorized to slip from the land, no doubt to join the damned freebooters of the Sunqar. As for this aging idiot of mine…"

Kaj stood up, shouting: "Enough, strumpet! If my remaining time be short, at least spare me your sluttish yap! Get the astrologer to finish the game for me."

He stalked from the room.

"Bawbling dotard!" the queen yelled after him, then beckoned a flunkey and bid him fetch the court astrologer. She said to Zei: "Find you young consorts, Daughter. These old ones like yon allicholy neither give pleasure in life nor prove toothsome when dead."

Barnevelt said: "You mean you eat him?"

"Certes. Tis a traditional part of the kashyo festival. If you'll attend, I'll see you're served a prime juicy gobbet."

Barnevelt shuddered. Tangaloa, taking the news quite calmly, murmured something about the customs of the Aztecs.

Zei's rich lips had been pressed together ever since the departure of Kaj. Now she burst out: "Never will I have friends of mine to these family gatherings again! These travelers must deem us utter barbarians…"

"Who are you to reprehend your elders?" roared the queen. "Sirs, but a ten-night past was she who speaks so nice one of a rout of young revellers who, instigated by this buffoon her adoptious brother," (she indicated Zakkomir) "did strip themselves egg-bare and mount the central fountain in the palace park, as they were a group of statues Panjaku means to set there. I had a lord and lady from Balhib, of oldest family, to walk in the park. So, say they, be this the great sculptor's new group, which we thought not yet completed? And whilst I stood a-goggle, wondering if 'twere a joke my minions had played upon me, the statues leap to life and cast themselves about us, loathly wet, with many unseemly jape and jest…"

"Quiet!" yelled Zakkomir, asserting himself suddenly. "If you women cease not from this eternal haver, I shall be driven forth like poor Kaj. There was no harm in our acture. Your Balhibo lord did laugh with the rest when he got over his initial fright. Now let's talk of more delightsome things. General Snyol, how escaped you from the torture vaults of the Kangandites when they for heresy had doomed you?"

Barnevelt looked blankly at his questioner. The real Snyol of Pleshch must have been a Nyami general who had fallen afoul of the official religion of that country. After some thought he said:

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell without endangering those who helped me."

At that instant the court astrologer came in. Barnevelt sighed with relief at the interruption of another embarrassing line of conversation. The astrologer, an old codger introduced as Qvansel, said:

"You must let me show you the horoscope I have worked out for you, General Snyol. Long have I followed your career, and all has come about as predetermined by the luminaries of heaven, even to your arrival today at Qirib's capital and court."

"Very interesting," said Barnevelt. If only, he thought, he could tell the boy how wrong he was!

The astrologer went on: "In addition, sir, I should a favor deem it if your teeth you'd let me scrutinize."

"My teeth?"

"Aye. If I may so say, I am the kingdom's leading dentist."

"Thanks, but I haven't got a toothache."

The astrologer's antennae rose. "I know nought of toothaches or the cure thereof! I would tell your character and destiny from your teeth: a science second in exactitude only to the royal ology of the stars itself."

Barnevelt promised himself that if he ever did have a toothache he wouldn't go to a dentist who examined his patients' teeth to tell their fortunes.

"Master Snyol!" barked the queen. "Your turn, as in truth you'd know were your eyes upon the game and not upon my daughter. Has she not the usual number of heads?"

They were invited back two nights later, and again the night after that. On these occasions Barnevelt was pleased to find that they did not have to put up with the morose king and the ferocious queen. It was just Zei, Zakkomir, and their young friends. Cautious questions bearing on the janru traffic and Shtain's disappearance elicited nothing new.

Barnevelt wondered why he and George should be taken into such sudden favor at the palace. He was under the impression that royalty was choosy about its intimates, and he did not flatter himself that with his modest command of the language he had swept them off their feet by force of personality alone. Although George was socially more at ease than he, nevertheless they gave Barnevelt more attention than they did his companion.

Barnevelt finally concluded that it was a combination of factors. The social leaders of this remote city were bored with each other's company and welcomed a couple of exotic and glamorous strangers, arriving with impressive credentials, whom they could show off to their friends. They, especially the hero-worshipping Zakkomir, were impressed by the achievements of the supposed Snyol of Pleshch. And, finally, Zei and Alvandi were serious about hiring him.

He found the gilded youth of Ghulinde pleasant on the whole; idle and useless by his sterner standards, but friendly and charming withal. From the chatter he gathered that there were wild ones of this class as well, but such were not welcomed at the palace. Zakkomir, in his anomalous position as ward of the throne, seemed to pick the social list and to serve as a link between the outside world and Zei, who gave the impression of leading a somewhat shut-in-life.

Barnevelt noticed that the princess became much livelier when her mother was not around—almost boisterous in fact. Perhaps, he thought sympathetically, she had a problem like his own.

Then something else began to worry him: He caught himself more and more stealing glances at Zei, thinking about her when he was away from the palace, and looking forward to seeing her again on his next visit. Moreover, they seemed to mesh spiritually. During the frequent arguments, he more and more found her and himself on the same side against the rest. (Tangaloa disdained to argue, regarding the whole spectacle with detached amusement and making sociological notes on the conversations when he got home at night.)

After several visits, Barnevelt even felt close enough to Zei to fight with her openly, and to hell with protocol. One night he beat her by a narrow margin at Chinese checkers, having nosed her out by a blocking move. She said some Gozash-tandou words that he did not suspect her of knowing—unless she had learned them from Philo.

"Now, now," he said, "no use getting riled up, my dear. If you'd watched what I was doing instead of gossiping about the spotted egg Lady Whoozis has laid, you'd…"

Wham! Zei snatched up the game-board and brought it down smartly on Barnevelt's head. As it was of good solid wood, not Earthly cardboard—and as he had no hair to cushion the blow—he saw stars.

"So much for your criticisms, Master Know-it-all Süyol!"

Barnevelt reached around and gave her a resounding spank.

"Ao!" she cried. "That hurt! Such presumptuous jocosoty, sirrah…"

"So did your game-board, mistress, and I'm in the habit of doing to others as they do to me, and preferably first. Now shall we pick up the little balls and start again?"

Seeing that the others were more amused than indignant, Zei cooled off and took the slap in good part. But, when Barnevelt had bidden her a ceremonious good-night at the door and turned to go, he got a swat on the seat of his shorts that almost knocked him sprawling. He turned to see Zei holding a broom and Zakkomir rolling on the rug with mirth.

"The last laugh is oft the lustiest, as says Nehavend," she said sweetly. "Good-night, sirs, and forget not the way back hither."

Dirk Barnevelt had been in love before, even though his mother had always managed to spoil it. He was not altogether foolish about such matters, though, and saw that nothing would be more tragically ridiculous than to fall in love with a female of another species. And one, moreover, who disposed of successive mates in the fashion of an Earthy spider or praying mantis.