The Scribbly Man

17

Even though she knew she was in a deep sleep, Kahlan could hear herself screaming.

The pain was unbearable. She wanted to die just to end the agony, but in the strange, confusing landscape of dreams, death eluded her.

She had been in this place before, in this strange, twisted world of abject agony that distorted everything into one single, focused fixation on wanting the pain to stop. She begged for the pain to stop, but the blanket of sleep only helped to keep her immobilized and helpless.

Her hands gripped fistfuls of the bedsheets. She twisted her fists as the pain twisted in her. She panted as fast as she could, trying to get the air she so desperately needed but failing. She thought she might suffocate in that state of powerless burning need.

Somewhere in the distance she heard a comforting voice reassuring her. It sounded like a good spirit. That thought jolted her with a new fear—a fear that she was already dead.

She realized, then, that in death such worldly pain would be a thing of the past. She knew firsthand that death held its own agonies, but physical pain was not one of them.

Kahlan began, then, to feel the suffering starting to wane. It was the greatest blessing possible to have the pain ease, even if only a little. Gradually, her screams died down to moans until after a while she could begin to catch her breath. Even through the haze of sleep, she was aware of at last being able to breathe again.

As the pain abated bit by bit, it allowed her to drift off into a deeper, more normal sleep, where everything faded away into a dream world of every worry, every bizarre, warped fear all blended together into the kind of stark fright unique to dreams.

Her deepest personal fears, fears that were new to her, would not leave her be, even in sleep. Not after what Nolo had told her.

After a seeming eternity spent in that suspended dream state, her eyes finally opened. She was covered in a sheen of sweat. She pulled the neck of the nightdress up, trying to cool herself. She knew she had been asleep for quite some time, but she had no idea how long it had been. The heavy drapes were drawn, so she didn’t know if it was day or night, but at least she was in their bedroom, where she was safe.

Kahlan lifted her head a little and saw that Shale was sitting close by in a comfortable chair, her head slumped, her eyes closed, her breathing even. The woman was gallingly beautiful, with that kind of feminine voice that made Kahlan think she sounded like a frog in comparison. How was it fair that such an alluring woman could have a voice like that?

Kahlan wondered if Richard thought the sorceress was beautiful. She knew he had to.

She smiled to herself then, knowing that Richard thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Sometimes she thought she must have tricked him into thinking that. It was a wonderful feeling, though, having him be obsessed with her. It was a wonderful feeling being obsessed with him.

She wanted nothing more right then than to hold him, than to tell him. But how could she? She wished more than anything that she hadn’t yelled at him.

When she tried to sit up and an unexpected pain made her gasp, Shale’s eyes opened. The sorceress rushed to sit on the edge of the bed.

Kahlan felt a keen sense of comfort to have the woman close.

Shale put a compassionate hand on Kahlan’s arm as she smiled down at her. “There you are.” She smoothed Kahlan’s hair back from her forehead. “There you are.” She looked relieved and radiantly happy to see that Kahlan was alive.

Kahlan took up the sorceress’s hand in both of hers and held it against her cheek. Her gratitude for Shale saving her life seemed unable to be expressed in any other way.

“Where’s Richard?” Kahlan finally asked. “Where are the Mord-Sith?”

“I made Richard go get some sleep by threatening to use a spell to put him down if he didn’t do it voluntarily. He grumbled but complied. The Mord-Sith wanted to stay, but I find it an uneasy feeling to do a healing that makes people scream in pain when their protectors are nearby with Agiel in their fists. I made them go get some sleep, too.”

That made Kahlan smile. She put a hand across her middle. “If you healed me, why do I still hurt?”

“Because your abdominal muscles have been cramping against the things I’ve had to do. They are just exhausted, that’s all. Nothing to be concerned about. I’ve healed all your injuries and drawn out the poison left by the claws of that thing that attacked you.”

“Thing?”

“You called it the scribbly man.”

Kahlan nodded at the memory. “Right.”

Kahlan squeezed Shale’s hand. She felt a deep bond with the woman who had healed her. Healing often formed that kind of closeness. The deeper the healing, the deeper the sense of connection.

“Thank you,” she said. It didn’t begin to seem like enough.

“Glad I could help, and I’m thankful that you are well. It saved my life, too.”

Kahlan’s brow bunched. “What do you mean?”

“If I had let you die, that man of yours would have skinned me alive and fed my hide to the vultures.”

Kahlan smiled. She squinted around in the muted light. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Two nights and one day between them. It’s not yet sunrise.”

Kahlan put a hand to her forehead. “Dear spirits…”

As she tried to sit up, Shale gently pushed her back down. “You needed the rest. Don’t be eager to get up too quickly. First get used to being whole again. There is no rush.”

Kahlan tested her left arm. It felt normal.

“Is Richard all right?” she asked, looking up with sudden worry. “Have there been any more attacks?”

“One,” Shale said. “Lord Rahl put his sword through it and the door behind. His reaction was instantaneous, but it was gone as soon as it appeared. I don’t know if it was harmed, but I can tell you that the door will never be the same. That man has some muscles on him.”

Kahlan couldn’t help smiling. “Yes he does.”

She didn’t know if she should feel proud of Richard for Shale noticing, or jealous that she did.

“But he’s all right? It didn’t hurt him?”

Shale smiled her assurance. “He’s fine, if a bit frazzled about you. So far the Golden Goddess has not caused any further trouble.”

“But she will,” Kahlan said.

“Your man will fight her. That is what a war wizard does.”

Kahlan smiled at the mental image of him. “He is our protector.” He was everything to her.

Shale nodded. “Yes, he is quite the man.” She let out a deep sigh. “I have to say, that kind of man could make my toes curl, if you know what I mean.”

That unwelcome mental image taunted Kahlan’s jealousy out of the corner. She didn’t say anything.

A curious hint of a smile grew on Shale’s perfect features. “Does he do that for you? Make your toes curl and your eyes roll back in your head as the muscles in your legs turn to stone?”

Taken off guard by such a personal question, Kahlan didn’t answer. But Shale’s smile widened when Kahlan blushed.

“He is my world,” Kahlan said. “He is everything to me.”

Shale lifted an eyebrow. “Then why haven’t you told him?”

If Kahlan had blushed before, now she felt her face burning.

“You know?”

“Of course I know. In healing you I am aware of things like that.”

Kahlan let her head sink back against the pillow as she closed her eyes.

“Dear spirits, how can I tell him, now? He promised a new golden age. I was so happy. I was about to tell him… but then when I saw everything falling apart because of the Golden Goddess, I blamed him. I was so angry at him, as if it was all his fault. I accused him of lying to me. I was so excited, and then all of a sudden I was so angry at seeing our happiness evaporate before my eyes. I blamed him.”

“It’s understandable,” Shale assured her. “He knows that you don’t really blame him or think he was deceiving you. In your condition it’s normal to be more emotional. Once you tell him he will understand and everything will be right between you again.”

“I was pregnant once before,” Kahlan said as she rolled her head away from the sorceress. “I lost the baby. We were both devastated. Now…”

“Now you will finally be a mother, Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan looked back at her. “How can I bring a child into a world only to have it hunted and slaughtered by the Golden Goddess? How can I bring a child into a world full of trouble?”

“It’s not like you have a choice.”

Kahlan shook her head. “I don’t know how I can tell him now.”

“Well, he is going to find out eventually.”

“I know, but…” Kahlan forced out a breath in frustration. “When Nolo said they would kill our child, I lost it. All I could think about was our child, our new life just starting to grow in me, and then…

“Our child would be butchered by those heartless beings. How can I burden Richard with such a worry? With this unexpected trouble how can I tell him I’m pregnant with our child?”

Shale had the oddest look on her face, but she didn’t say anything.

“Don’t you see,” Kahlan pressed. “Our world needs both of us now more than ever. We can ill afford a distraction like this. Everyone’s life is at stake. This would cripple our ability to protect people.”

“Magic helps protect our world. In order for magic to continue, for Lord Rahl’s power, for your power, to continue and protect future generations, you must.”

“I know, but someday. Not now, when our child would be hunted by vicious predators.”

“You and Lord Rahl are not helpless. You must fight for your right to happiness and for our way of life. That is the way of the world. When is it ever a good time?”

“Yes, but don’t you see? This is different with the Golden Goddess and her kind suddenly coming for us. I’m terrified to bring a child into the world right now. I’m terrified for that child.”

Shale seemed to glow with a serene smile.

“Not just a child, Kahlan.”

Kahlan frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Twins.”

Kahlan blinked. “What?”

Shale put a hand over Kahlan’s belly. “You are going to have twins. A boy and a girl.”