The Question

The Secretary General

Two wars, a spreading famine in central Africa, a new el niño event turning half the world’s weather crazy, and now this—aliens from outer space. The Secretary General sank deep into her favorite couch and wished she were back in Argentina, in the simple Andean village where she had been born. All she had to worry about then was getting good grades in school and fending off the boys who wanted to seduce her.

She had spent the morning with the COPUOS executive committee, and had listened with all her attention to their explanation of the enigmatic alien visitation. It sounded almost like a joke, a prank that some very bright students might try to pull—until the committee members began to fight over what The Question should be. Grown men and women, screaming at each other like street urchins!

Now the delegation from the Pan Asian Coalition sat before her, arrayed like a score of round-faced Buddhas in western business suits. Most of them wore dark gray; the younger members dared to dress in dark blue.

The Secretary General was famous—perhaps notorious—for her preference for the bright, bold colors of her Andean heritage. Her frock was dramatic red and gold, the colors of a mountain sunset.

The chairman of the group, who was Chinese, was saying, “Inasmuch as PAC represents the majority of the world population—”

“Nearly four billion people,” added the Vietnamese delegate, sitting to the right of the Chinese. He was the youngest man in the group, slim and wiry and eager, his spiky unruly hair still dark and thick.

The chairman nodded slightly, his only concession to his colleague’s interruption, then continued, “It is only fair and democratic that our organization should decide what The Question will be.”

More than four billion people, the Secretary General thought, yet not one woman has been granted a place on your committee. She knew it rankled these men that they had to deal with her. She saw how displeased they were that her office bore so few trappings of hierarchical power: no desk, no long conference table, only a comfortable scattering of small couches and armchairs. The walls, of course, were electronic. Virtually any data stored in any computer in the world could be displayed at the touch of a finger.

The chairman had finished his little statement and laced his fingers together over the dark gray vest stretched across his ample stomach. It is time for me to reply, the Secretary General realized.

She took a sip from the crystal tumbler on the teak table beside her couch. She did not especially like the taste of carbonated water, but it was best to stay away from alcohol during these meetings.

“I recognize that the member nations of the Pan Asian Coalition hold the preponderance of the world’s population,” she said, stalling for time while she tried to think of the properly diplomatic phrasing, “but the decision as to what The Question shall be must be shared by all the world’s peoples.”

“The decision must be made by vote in the General Assembly,” the chairman insisted quietly. “That is the only fair and democratic way to make the choice.”

“And we have only five more days to decide,” added the Vietnamese delegate.

The Secretary General said, “We have made some progress. The International Astronomical Union has decided that The Question will be sent from the radio telescope in Puerto Rico—”

“Arecibo,” the Vietnamese amended impatiently.

“Yes, thank you,” murmured the Secretary General. “Arecibo. The astronomers have sent a message to the aliens that we have chosen the Arecibo radio telescope to ask The Question and any other transmission from any other facility should be ignored.”

“Thus the Americans have taken effective control of the situation,” said the chairman, in the calm low voice of a man who has learned to control his inner rage.

“Not at all,” the Secretary General replied. “Arecibo is an international facility; astronomers from all over the world work there.”

“Under Yankee supervision.”

“The International Astronomical Union—”

“Which is dominated by Americans and Europeans,” shouted one of the other delegates.

“We will not tolerate their monopoly power politics!”

“Asia must make the decision!”

Stunned by the sudden vehemence of her visitors, the Secretary General said, “A moment ago you wanted the General Assembly to vote on the decision.”

The chairman allowed a fleeting expression of chagrin to break his normally impassive features. “We took the liberty of polling the members of the General Assembly yesterday.”

“Very informally,” added the Vietnamese hastily. “Nothing binding, of course.”

“Of course,” said the Secretary General, surprised that her snoops had not reported this move to her.

“The result was far from satisfactory,” the chairman admitted. “We received more than two hundred different questions.”

“It appears extremely doubtful,” said the Japanese member of the delegation, “that the General Assembly could agree on one single question within the remaining allowed time.”

“Then how do you propose to resolve the matter?” the Secretary General asked.

They all looked to the chairman, even the Vietnamese delegate.

He cleared his throat, then answered, “We propose to decide what The Question will be within our own group, and then ask the General Assembly to ratify our decision.”

“A simple yes or no vote,” said the Vietnamese. “No thought required.”

“I see,” said the Secretary General. “That might work, although if the General Assembly voted against your proposal—”

“That will not come to pass,” the chairman assured her. “The nations we represent will carry the vote.”

“Your nations have the largest population,” the Secretary General cautioned, “but not the largest number of representatives in the Assembly, where it is one vote to each nation.”

“The Africans will vote with us.”

“Are you certain?”

“If they want continued aid from us, they will.”

The Secretary General wondered if the Africans might not want to ask the aliens how they can make themselves self-sufficient, but she kept that thought to herself. Instead she asked, “Have you settled on the question you wish to ask?”

The chairman’s left cheek ticked once. “Not yet,” he answered. “We are still discussing the matter.”

“How close to a decision are you?”

A gloomy silence filled the room.

At last the young Vietnamese burst out, “They want to ask how they can live forever! What nonsense! The Question should be, How can we control our population growth!”

“We know how to control population growth,” the Japanese delegate snarled. “That is not a fit question to ask the aliens.”

“But our known methods are not working!” the Vietnamese insisted. “We must learn how we can make people want to control their births.”

“Better to ask how we can learn to control impetuous young men who show no respect for their elders,” snapped one of the grayest delegates.

The Secretary General watched in growing dismay as the delegates quarreled and growled at each other. Their voices rose to shouts, then screams. When they began attacking each other in a frenzy of martial arts violence, the Secretary General called for security, then hid behind her couch.