The Purple Emperor

CHAPTER SIXTY ONE

'Are you sure you know what you're doing?' Chalkhill asked nervously. He was back at Hairstreak's mansion in the forest after an even more nerve-wracking trip than the last time. Cyril had guided him through an ill-marked winding trail that smelled of sliths and now they'd emerged between some densely-planted rose bushes on the edge of that palatial lawn.

Chalkhill stared across the vast expanse of green, very well aware that crossing it would leave him totally exposed every inch of the way. He looked round for haniels in the surrounding trees, but his real worry was Hairstreak's guards, who had a well-deserved reputation of shooting first and asking questions afterwards. He could be a pin-cushion of arrows before he took three steps.

'Of course I know what I'm doing,' the wyrm said testily. 'Cossus Cossus is expecting you.'

'Yes, you said that. But what happens if Hair streak sees me?'

The wangaramas gave the mental equivalent of an impatient grunt. 'What do you think happens if Lord Hair streak sees you? He doesn't know what we're planning, does he? As far as he's concerned, you're still a loyal servant. If you do bump into him – which you won't – you can simply say you came back for fresh instructions.'

It made sense, but Chalkhill was still terrified of Lord Hairstreak. In desperation he went back to an argument he'd already lost several times. 'Why can't we just go somewhere else? All I have to do is wait until Comma's Coronation.'

Cyril gave the mental equivalent of an exhausted sigh. 'That isn't all you have to do. I've told you ten thousand times already: you have to be able to pass for Lord Hairstreak. You weren't exactly a star pupil when he sent you to the Facemaster, were you?'

'It was just the walk,' said Chalkhill testily. 'But I've got you to help me with that now. That's why we were introduced in the first place.'

T can only help you with the walk,' Cyril said. 'There are all sorts of other things. You have to know the people he knows, greet them by name. This isn't like it was before. Hairstreak attending Pyrgus's Coronation could have got away with being introverted and grumpy – people would expect that since he didn't like Pyrgus. But everybody knows Comma is just a figurehead. They'll expect Lord Hairstreak to be strutting round like a turkey-cock. And don't forget you'll still be playing Hairstreak afterwards. This isn't a few hours with a Facemaster – you're going to need every minute we have left to prepare you for the part. Cossus himself will be coaching you. You'll need practice. Ordering servants around, that sort of thing.'

T know how to order servants around,' Chalkhill said sourly.

'And you'll be dealing with high-class demons,' the wyrm said, ignoring him. ‘I know the portals are shut just now, but Hairstreak has his demon pits so you can get used to whipping the silly creatures before the portals open again. Then there's the question of -

Chalkhill felt worn out, as he always did by this stage of the mental conversation. 'All right,' he said aloud. 'You win.'

If a haniel ate him on his way across the lawn, it would be a blessed relief.