The Marriage of the Living Dark

“Daniel?”

He stepped into the room, then pulled the door closed behind him. “I’m sorry. If if s too late, I’ll...”

“No,” Emily said, setting the book aside, then patting the bed beside her. “Come

and sit with me. You want to talk, I take

it?”

Daniel nodded, then went across and sat

“So?” she asked, reaching out to take his right hand in both of hers. “What is it?”

He seemed embarrassed, awkward for once. “If s Siri,” he said finally, not meeting her eyes. “She came to my room, just now. She wanted ...” “Ah...” Emily nodded. So it had come to this. “How old are you, Daniel?”

“Seventeen.”

“Yes.” She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Seventeen. Gods, it seems so long ago since I was seventeen. Some days I feel ageless, like the rock thaf s all around us.”

He met her eyes, curious to know where this was leading.

“And?”

“And I know that some things are difficult, no matter how old you are. Love, for one. It never gets any easier, Daniel. Never. And no one knows all the answers, not even me. But I do know that you’re a good person, and that if you sent her away - and I assume you did, or you wouldn’t be here now wearing that hangdog expression - then it was for a good reason, even if you don’t understand what that reason is.”

“You think so?”

She nodded. “We are sexual creatures, Daniel. All of us. But sometimes that physical side of it isn’t enough. Sometimes there’s something much more important to us.”

Daniel sighed. “Maybe. Yet I feel so confused about it I... I want her, mother. I mean, my body ...” He blushed. “But I can’t. Something stops ma” “That’s okay,” she said. “Ifs nothing to be ashamed of. Indeed, I’d say it was something to be proud of. You want her, but you don’t feel that you want to commit to her, and you sense that if you sleep with her she’ll expect that kind of commitment right?”

Daniel hesitated, then gave a single nod.

“And you don’t want to simply use her, right?”.

“Right” he said quietly.

“Then you’re right not to, Daniel. Simple as that Sin’s lovely, but she’s not what you want.”

He frowned. “But I don’t know what I want”

“Oh, you do, but you haven’t met her yet.”

He laughed. “That sounds .. . well, mystical.”

“Maybe, but if s true. We each of us carry the pattern of the other - the intended other - within us. Many of us never find that intended other, but she, or he, is there.”

“I wish I could believe that”

“Oh, but you do. Otherwise you’d be back in your room right now, with Siri.” He looked down again. “What you say... maybe thaf s so. Maybe there is a special someone for me. But I’ll tell you what I felt I felt... well, I felt that it was somehow important who I slept with. So much else about my life has been ill, I don’t want to spoil this.”

Emily was watching him, a tender smile lighting her features. “You know, you’re a very kind person, Daniel. Siri will be hurting now. She’s probably in her room right now, crying into her pillow at your rejection of her. But it would have been much worse if you had used and then discarded her. Even now, in these final days, we need to remember such things, and act to minimise the hurt we cause to others.””And what I feel... physically?”

Emily released his hand then pushed him away playfully. “I don’t think you need me to tell you what to do, young Daniel.”

He stared at her a moment, astonished, then, seeing the teasing expression in her eyes, looked down, blushing.

“I may not have lived in the camps, Daniel, nor seen what you’ve seen, but I’ve raised a dozen boys of my own. And there’s not a single one of you who doesn’t seek solace in that fashion at one time or another.” He swallowed, then, returning to the subject, asked, “And the girl?”

‘Til see to Siri, Daniel. In fact, I’ll go and see her now. Oh, and don’t fear.

Nothing of what was said here will pass my

lips.”

He grinned, grateful for her tact “And Daniel... here. I doubt you’ll sleep, so take this and read it. You can return it to me in the morning.”

After he’d gone, Emily sat there for a long time thinking, her mind filled not only with what Daniel had said, but also with the history she had been reading and her thoughts on the slow encroachment of the floraforms. Time was ending. She had no doubt of it. For Time was nothing without some conscious mind to mark its passing. And though the floraforms seemed intelligent, she could not believe that, once man had passed from this planet, it would concern itself with hours and minutes and seconds. In the place of Time would be an endless Now, a green unmeasured haze. As there had been before human consciousness evolved, six million years ago.

Hannah’s words had surprised her. She had not known -had not even suspected - that Man had been on earth so long, nor that so little of Man’s history had been charted. It was almost as if nothing had happened but for those last few moments of Man’s existence - ten thousand years out of a period six hundred times as long. There had been a blink of frenetic activity - of frantic exponential growth - and then...