The Lost Wolf's Destiny

Chapter 4

Lucas began to talk. He told her an abbreviated version of the truth, though he said nothing about Lilly and how Jacob had killed her right in front of him. That part of his past was his own private shame, which he would always bear alone. As he spoke, choosing his words with care, he watched her closely. While he didn’t want to send her into shock, she needed to know what she faced.

“My mother must have been a Shifter, because Jacob is human. I don’t actually know what happened to her, because I remember absolutely nothing about her. Long story short, Jacob caught me changing into a wolf. He viewed this as a sign from his God that I was a demon, and he set about trying to purge my body and—as he said—make me holy again.”

Swallowing, he pushed away the image of his vibrant sister, beaten and lifeless. “His methods were horrific. I believe he would eventually have killed me. I managed to escape, and I ran. I haven’t seen him since. It’s been fifteen years now.”

Watching him, her eyes, a shocking shade of green, went soft with sympathy. “You must have been very young.”

“Fifteen.” While he tried to factually relay his horrific past without growing emotional, his wolf reacted with hers on another, more primal level. Though he knew she had to be aware of this, externally she showed no reaction.

Was this how it was normally between Shifters, he wondered? At the thought, a wild sense of longing possessed him, something unwanted and unwarranted, and which he promptly pushed away.

“That’s it. When I saw you and your little girl on the news, with him promising he could heal her, I knew I had to come and stop him. I drove from Seattle.”

She nodded.

Watching the emotions trace across her beautiful face—shock and horror and revulsion—he stopped talking. There were no more words he could say without revealing the most important part of all. His sister’s death.

Silence. He waited, almost defiantly, for her reaction. Half of him expected condemnation, as if all of what had happened had been his fault, as if he’d somehow deserved the actions of the so-called pious man of God.

He also feared she would panic, because in revealing his past, he’d also revealed what Jacob had in mind for her little girl.

As Lucas talked, Blythe found herself listening in a sort of horrified fugue state. Disbelief, shock and terror for Hailey mingled with revulsion that a so-called man of God could do such things to his own son.

And what about her daughter? If Lucas was right, she’d delivered her baby girl into the clutches of a madman.

When he finally finished, the silence rang with a thousand questions, none of which she expected him to be able to answer.

“Why?” she finally asked. “Even if you being able to shift was—is—out of the ordinary, you’re his son. Throughout history, other parents have learned to deal with that. What would drive him to...recoil from you like that? Why would any father do such a thing to his own child?”

“I’ve asked myself that very same question a hundred times. I don’t know that I can explain the unexplainable. But as far as I can tell, it’s because of his belief system. In his narrow-minded view, such a thing as a Shape-shifter cannot exist. I’m a werewolf, he said. He honestly believed—believes—that I have a demon inside me.”

“That you come from hell,” she said, still unable to entirely wrap her mind around the idea.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“But since he’s human, that means your mother...”

“She must have been a full-blood. But she died when I was born and he destroyed everything of hers. I’ve never even seen a picture.”

“Seriously?” Again, such a thing was beyond her comprehension.

He shrugged once more, as if it didn’t matter. “Yes. I know nothing about her.”

“Then you had no one to teach you to...”

A shadow crossed his face. She got a sense that there was more, that he hadn’t told her everything. But she didn’t press him, not now. Hellhounds, he’d already revealed so much horror, the thought that there might be more was staggering.

“The first time I felt the urge to shift, I freaked out.” He sounded rueful, speaking of something that broke every Pack law she could think of regarding children. The first change should be a special thing, guided with a loving hand. Like Hailey’s would be, if she lived that long.

Blythe clenched her fists. Though she felt sorry for this man, listening to him talk about the past wasn’t going to help save Hailey.

He cocked his head. “You must be wondering how all this relates to your daughter,” he said, as if he’d read her mind.

Masking her inner turmoil with what she hoped passed for calmness, she nodded. “Yes. Yes, I am. Tell me. What do you think your father—”

“Jacob.”

She acknowledged the difference with a dip of her chin. “What does Jacob want with my daughter?”

Instead of answering, he asked another question. “Does he know you’re a Shape-shifter?”

“No, of course not.” Puzzled, she frowned. “Why would I tell him something like that? He’s human. You know the law.”

“Since I’m not actually part of your Pack, no, I don’t. But no matter. I think Jacob has somehow learned that you and your child are like me—Shape-shifters. Since he believes these powers came from a demon, he’s on a holy mission to wipe out the evil. He intends to cure your daughter—not of her physical ailment, but her spiritual one. Even if it kills her.”

For a split second, she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think, couldn’t move, couldn’t even swallow. “Then we’ve got to go help her,” she finally managed. “Now.”

Expression grim, he shook his head. “You heard what happened when you tried to call the police. He’s got the entire area in his pocket.”

“Then we’ll go out farther.” Desperate now, she began to pace. “The FBI will help.”

“Not if they talk to the local police and are told you’re a crackpot.”

Stunned, she stared at him. “Are you serious?” she asked. “You really think that’s what will happen?”

He nodded.

This was like something out of a nightmare.

“These people really are crazy,” she said, trying to keep her hands from trembling. “How is that possible? An entire town...”

“He’s a very hypnotic speaker.”

She stared at him, letting him see her disbelief. “Are you saying he hypnotizes people?” Then, before he could even answer, she inhaled sharply. “Hellhounds. Are you saying he hypnotized me?” That explanation would certainly clear up a lot of things.

Lucas grimaced. “To be honest with you, I don’t know. It’s entirely possible.”

She took a deep breath and released it. “It sounds like you think no one is going to help me.”

The wry grimace he made didn’t make her feel any better. “At least no humans will. What about your Pack?”

“I don’t know. I’ll call them.” She grabbed the cell phone and then stared at it in frustration. “I’m not sure I know the number. It’s stored in my cell, which he took from me.”

“So it appears you’re on your own,” he said, without inflection.

His lack of emotion was beginning to get to her. She glared at him, determination and ferocity coursing through her. “Then I’ll do it by myself. I have to get my daughter out. I don’t care if I need to rip out some throats to do it.”

As another Shifter, no matter what his upbringing, she believed Lucas would understand. When in their wolf form, they all retained their human intellect. This made them deadly fighters when they needed to be.

His face a stony mask, he shook his head. “You’re not alone,” he said. “I’ll help you.”

“Look,” she said. “I’m grateful, but you have to understand I don’t trust anyone involved in any way with Jacob Gideon and his Sanctuary.”

“I’m not involved with them.” He glared at her. “I told you, I drove all the way here from Seattle to help you.”

“Assuming I believe you, I have to ask you why. We’re total strangers. Why do you care what happens to us?”

“It’s more than just you. What that man did to me and mine should never be done to anyone else.”

She opened her mouth to respond, and then closed it. The cold fury shimmering in his dark blue eyes made her shiver.

“And to answer your question as to why, it’s time he was stopped. For good. No matter what the cost, I will help you save your daughter. And then, I’ll make sure Jacob Gideon doesn’t hurt any other Shifters. Ever again.”

Oddly enough, this fierce resolve decided her. “All right. Thank you. I accept your offer of help.”

“Good.” Something in his grim tone told her he hadn’t actually given her a choice. “They won’t be expecting two of us. You need to get ready.”

“Get ready?” Incredulous, she could only stare. “I’m chomping at the bit. The sooner I can get Hailey away from that monster, the better.”

“Good. Because we’re going to go in and get her out. No matter what.”

She nodded. “When?”

He glanced at her, his jaw set. “Tonight.”

As a slow, fierce smile broke out over Blythe’s expressive face, something intense flared inside Lucas. What the hell? Pushing it away, he dragged his gaze away from the hope shining in her emerald-green eyes and forced himself to focus. He wondered if she understood the risks she’d be taking. If caught, and especially if Jacob learned she was also a Shape-shifter, she’d be subjecting not only her daughter, but herself to unspeakable acts of torture.

By the end, she’d be longing for death.

He considered telling her more than the bare bones, but in the end, decided not to. The knowledge would change nothing. Like him, she had no choice.

“What time?” she asked, raising her chin in a way that told him she was a woman of courage, a mother willing to fight tooth and nail for her child.

“We’ll use the darkness to provide cover. Until then, you’re going to have to stay hidden. If I know Jacob, he will have told the locals some preposterous story about you, and they’ll be on the lookout to have you arrested and brought in.”

Her eyes widened in fresh shock, making him inwardly wince. Every truth he had to throw out to her was like feeding a wolf a poisoned bone. But she needed to understand just how much of a monster they were dealing with.

“Arrest me for what?”

Grimly, he ticked the possibilities off on his fingers. “Child abuse, child molestation, attempting to sell your daughter, trying to prostitute her to pedophiles—he’ll come up with the worst possible story and make them believe it.”

She swallowed hard. “But none of that is true. He’d have no proof.”

“It doesn’t make any difference. What does matter is that he will have convinced everyone that he took your daughter away for her own good. That you are a danger to her. I promise you, they will believe him.”

Crossing her arms, her expression radiating darkness, she dropped into the dingy motel chair. “I’ll kill him.”

“No, you won’t.” Though if the truth were to be told, he’d been aching to take the man out himself ever since the news story had aired. But the repercussions would be tremendous. “Making him pay will have to wait. First, we’re going to rescue your kid and get away. After that, I’ll figure out a way to expose him, so he can’t do this to anyone else.”

“Hailey,” she said. “Her name is Hailey.” There was both strength and delicacy in her face. “Inside there, in Sanctuary, they kept trying to depersonalize her and I instinctively kept insisting on giving them her name. At the time, I didn’t understand why. Unfortunately, I do now.”

Eyeing her, he felt it again: the rush of attraction that was not only inappropriate, but dangerous. He wondered if Blythe even realized how beautiful she was. On the heels of that thought came another, one he’d considered earlier and had forgotten.

For as long as Lucas had known him, Jacob had always had a weakness for the ladies. If worst came to worst, there was the possibility that they could use that against him. Lucas decided not to mention it to Blythe yet. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come to that.

Her stomach growled, making him smile, even as she gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry,” she said. “I should have gone hunting earlier.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

She thought for a moment. “On the drive down here yesterday.”

“Yesterday? I saw the story on the news a few days ago. I would have thought you’d have been here longer.”

“Nope. Jacob had a few more appearances scheduled, so Hailey and I spent the day shopping, eating out, and we saw a movie,” she said. “I had a few misgivings, and apparently for good reason. I so badly wanted to have hope. Instead, I should have trusted my instincts.” Sighing, she glanced away. “Look what happened. I haven’t even been here twenty-four hours and already my baby is in danger.”

“Don’t worry,” he spoke with more confidence than he felt. “We’ll get her out. In the meantime, I’ll go fetch us something to eat.”

She nodded listlessly, so he left her there.

Later, he returned with a couple of breakfast burritos and coffees, as well as a change of clothes for her that he grabbed at the local big box store. She ate with a mechanical precision that told him she was already working on a rudimentary plan.

“Maybe you should tell me,” she said, blotting her mouth with a napkin. She’d missed a crumb, and he found himself aching to lick it off her lips, which shocked him.

What the hell was wrong with him? With difficulty, he tried to focus on her words. “Tell you what?”

“What I should expect to find when we get into Sanctuary.” Mouth a thin line, she leaned forward. “I need to be prepared.”

“No,” he said, as gently as he could. “You don’t. Let’s leave it at that.”

Her gaze locked with his, the determination in her expression twisting his gut. But finally she nodded. “You’re right. I need to concentrate on getting Hailey out.”

“Yes.”

“But after...”

“One day at a time,” he told her. “That’s how we’re going to get through this. One day at a time.”

Though she nodded, she got up and began to pace the confines of the small hotel room, her lithe grace reminding him more of a trapped panther than a wolf. Even in the artificial light, her hair gleamed like strands of luxurious silk.

Watching her, he tried to throttle the dizzying current of desire racing through him. This both infuriated and intrigued him, because despite his instinctive reaction to her when he’d seen her on the television, he hadn’t expected to want her. More than that, actually. He hadn’t thought he’d crave her the way he did.

He needed to get a grip. For someone who always prided himself on being in control, he felt perilously close to completely losing it.

“I wonder, have you always known?” he asked her, more to distract them both than anything else.

She stopped pacing, swiveling her head around to look at him, sending her long hair whipping around her shoulders. “Have I always known what?”

Feeling foolish, now he regretted asking. Almost. “What you were. A Shape-shifter. When was the first time you changed into a wolf? How old were you?”

As distractions went, it worked. Head cocked, she stared at him, the expression in her vivid green eyes making it clear she was trying to decide if he was messing with her or telling the truth.

“I really want to know,” he added, his voice a bit huskier than he’d have preferred, but sincere all the same.

“I was ten,” she said. “Most of us are ten or eleven when we shift for the first time. Once in a while it happens to someone much younger, but that’s the general age.”

“I see.” Truthfully, he hadn’t known.

“You had no one to guide you at all, did you?” she finally asked. “Because your mother died and you were all alone, except for that crazy man who raised you.”

He doubted his careless shrug fooled her. “I had no idea. The first few times I had the urge to shift, I panicked. I was eleven and I didn’t know what was wrong with me.” He and Lilly had shared that sense of fear. But of course, he didn’t mention that to Blythe.

“Did you go to your father?’

He winced, this time unable to hide it. “No. I couldn’t. Even though I was still relatively normal, I couldn’t fail to notice how rigid the lines were for him. I think I instinctively knew he would recoil from me in disgust and horror.”

The sympathy on her beautiful face completely pissed him off. He didn’t want her pity, or anyone else’s, for that matter. That was part of the reason he’d avoided his own kind all these years. He was what he was and damned if he’d make apologies for it.

With difficulty, he managed to rein in his emotions. None of this was her fault. In truth, he didn’t understand the way she made him feel, the things she made him want. Desire was both the least and the greatest of these.

What he was about to tell her was private—he’d never shared it with another human being, with the exception of the one person he’d let Jacob destroy.

But Jacob had her daughter. If anyone deserved to know, it was Blythe. He’d have to be careful in how he told it, because Lilly had been with him then. Lilly had always been with him. He and his twin had been exceptionally close.

“I was out in the desert near Sanctuary,” he began, hoping like hell he didn’t slip up. He had to tell the story as if he’d been alone. “I liked to go on long hikes in those days. It was a way for me to think. The urge to change had been coming more and more frequently, which terrified me. But so far I’d been successful in fighting it off. Not this time.”

He took a long pull on his coffee, considering his next words.

To her credit, she simply waited, her eyes vivid-green as she watched him through her long lashes. She was quiet, rather than peppering him with questions. This, he appreciated.

After a moment, he continued. “This time, when the urge to change hit me, the need was like never before. Fierce and compelling. I fell to my knees and tried to fight, but something else took over my body and I couldn’t. Before I knew what happened, my clothes were torn and tattered and I shape-shifted into a wolf.”

“You should have had someone there to help guide you,” she said softly. “It’s always like that, the first time.”

He shrugged, careful to keep his face expressionless. His memories of that day were still vivid, though they mostly consisted of watching what had happened to his sister as she went through her first change. They’d been frightened and exhilarated, amazed and shocked.

When they’d changed back, they’d each managed to do so far enough away from the other that they were able to hide their nakedness until they got dressed.

It was all new and strange and a continuous learning process. But they’d had each other and so they’d learned to cope.

“It was a long time ago. But I was in an animal frenzy after that. As wolf, I ran and hunted, when I was human again, I got dressed in my shredded and tattered clothes and returned home. I vowed that one time would be it and I’d never let it happen again.”

“And of course it did,” she said, her expression soft and understanding.

He nearly told her then, nearly revealed the truth of the horror that had happened to his twin so many years ago. But at the last moment, he reined himself in. They were strangers, after all. He would do his best to help her and her daughter, after which he doubted he’d ever see her again. He wasn’t the kind of guy women depended on.

Still, he had to tell her part of the truth, just so she really understood what kind of monster she was up against.

“I went as long as I could before changing again. Each time, I came away convinced something was wrong with me.” He shrugged, to show her it no longer mattered. “I started being more diligent about attending Jacob’s services. I tried to be kinder, more studious. In short, I thought if I somehow atoned for whatever sin made me this way, I could be normal again.”

He didn’t tell her this had been Lilly’s idea. She’d been convinced that their shape-shifting abilities were some form of punishment, doled out from an angry God. Jacob’s God. Lucas had gone along with her, because when she was happy, he was, too.

Lost in his memories, he became aware Blythe was speaking. “You only wanted to be normal. When in fact, all along, you were perfectly ordinary, at least for our kind.”

He said the first thing that came to mind. “You sound sad.”

“Of course I do.” Frowning, she shook her head. “Jacob had to have known this would happen. When he married your mother, she would have told him. We’re always allowed to tell our mates. He should have taken steps to ensure you were educated in the ways of the Pack.”

“I’m not sure he knew.” Aware of the bitter twist to his mouth, he looked away, unable to bear the pity he was sure to see in her eyes. “Or if he once had known, he made himself forget. That would be the only explanation for how he reacted once he learned the truth about us.”

“Us?”

Damn. Swallowing hard, he gestured at nothing. “You know what I mean. Our kind. Us.”

After a moment, she nodded, seeming to accept this explanation. He’d slipped. He needed to be careful.

Because in addition to what had happened to his sister, there was more, much more, that he didn’t tell her. How he’d tried to run away, to stay wolf forever. He’d thought that would make his life easier. And it might have, though he never got a chance to find out. No matter how hard he’d tried to stay in his wolf form, eventually he’d always changed back to man.

She shifted restlessly. “If you don’t mind telling me, how exactly did your fath—I mean Jacob—find out what you were? I assume you didn’t tell him.”

“He became curious and I was careless. He followed me one day. He was careful to stay hidden so I didn’t see him. He watched while I changed.” He shook his head, the images as fresh as though they had occurred yesterday. He’d stick to the details whenever possible...more or less. “Full of self-righteous rage, he ran at me when I was still wolf.”

Narrowing her eyes, she continued to watch him. “He’s lucky you didn’t attack him.”

“Maybe.”

Because of Lucas’s paralyzing fear, Jacob had caught them both. After ordering his twin children to be led away in chains, he’d locked them in one of the unfinished basement rooms, eerily reminiscent to Lucas’s young mind of a dungeon. “Jacob screamed, called me a worthless dog, demon-spawn and evil.”

“What did he do after that?” she asked.

He took a deep breath, well aware that what he was about to say would barely skirt the edges of what had happened. It wasn’t even the worst of it. “He beat me to within an inch of my life.”

“While you were still wolf?”

He nodded. “While I was still a wolf.”

“And of course you changed back.” It wasn’t a question. She knew, as he had not, that all Shifters changed back to their original form when they were hurt or wounded. He was aware of that now, of course.

“I changed back. My father was convinced a demon had possessed me. He was determined to rid me of it, no matter what the cost. Even if it killed me.”

She made a sound. He could see in her face that she was tempted to offer comfort. Appalled, he made a gesture, warding her off.

“I’m fine,” he said. “That’s all in the past anyway. The only reason I’m even telling you all this is so you can understand what he wants to do to Hailey.”

Her eyes widened. Glancing at her watch, she cursed. “He’s had all day.”

Sensing her panic, he acted instinctively, reaching out and gently squeezing her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m relatively sure he’s still studying her to make sure she is what he thinks.”

“Relatively isn’t good enough,” she snarled. “If he lays one hand on her, I’ll—” Visibly collected herself, she inhaled sharply. “I’m not going to give him a chance to hurt her.”

“We’re not,” he said. “Remember, you aren’t alone in this.”

She gave him such an odd look he realized that, despite everything, she hadn’t actually considered them a team.