The Lost Starship

-38-

It turned out they had won… after a fashion, Maddox decided.

A day after the battle, Victory drifted in the void three light years from the alien star system. The vessel wasn’t near another star, but in the middle of nowhere. The craft had made the jump in one large bound.

The red giant blazed its light, the brightest object in the darkness.

The alien ship had taken severe damage from the star cruisers. Entire sections of the vessel were off limits because they were smashed wreckage now open to space. Perhaps one third of the craft lacked an atmosphere because the stellar vacuum drifted through it. In certain places, the crew had to take large detours to get from one point to another.

Still, they had survived the encounter with the New Men. No more fires raged or energy dissipated in the starship. They had fully acquired Victory, and they were in no immediate danger of destruction. Those were the good points. The bad troubled Maddox and severely depressed the crew. They had a two-week supply of food, at best. Dana had found a water supply, so they wouldn’t die of dehydration. The star drive needed repair before it could work again. Once it began working—if they ever reached that point—they weren’t sure they could keep it functional for long. They lacked a Laumer Drive, so they couldn’t use the regular tramlines. Earth was three hundred light years away. With Victory’s present star drive, they wouldn’t remotely reach the Oikumene, never mind the Commonwealth of Planets or Earth, before the drive failed for good. And, without this ship in the Star Watch’s possession, nothing Maddox and the others had done out here mattered in a grand strategic sense.

“There’s only one way we’re going to survive more than a few weeks,” Dana said. “We have to repair the ship.”

They met in a chamber with low chairs and what they used for a table. It was warm in here, so they didn’t have to wear their vacc-suits. That was good, because the last tanks only had a half-supply of air left.

“Okay,” Keith said, as he twirled what looked like a key ring, “we need to fix stuff. What do we try to repair first?”

“That’s easy,” Dana said, “the star drive. Without it, we’re trapped in the void with no way of changing our fate.”

Valerie set a tube she’d been fiddling with onto the table. “I’m still worried about the AI. You told us before it isn’t dead. You just cut it off from the ship’s controls.”

Doctor Rich nodded. “That’s right. It’s alive and likely brooding, if such a thing is possible.”

“The AI must know of ways to bypass what you did,” Valerie said. “Maybe it’s secretly working to regain control of its ship.”

“No. I don’t think so,” Dana said. “Think of the AI as a genie, and we’ve corked its bottle. It’s not getting out unless we first pry out the stopper.”

Maddox cleared his throat. “We must work under the assumption the AI will remain inoperative for a time. In that way, Doctor Rich is correct. Our primary goal is to fix the star drive. That will be your department, Doctor and Meta. I’m giving you Keith and Riker as helpers.”

The sergeant sat morosely in a corner. His bionic hand opened and closed with faint whirring sounds. Meta also seemed despondent, with her elbows on the table and her eyes staring and distant.

First glancing at Meta and then looking back at the captain, Dana said, “I’d also like Valerie’s help.”

“No,” Maddox said. “Lieutenant Noonan will help me. Once we figure out how to use the ship’s sensors, we’re going to scour space for a clue as to where we should go next. We’re deep in the Beyond. That doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of humans. We’re going to search for planetary industrial signs. If nothing else, if we find such a system, we can go there and fill our food stores. At best, we’ll also gain technical help to effect fuller repairs. I suspect we’ll only fix everything at a Star Watch dockyard.”

“Trying to bargain for repairs in a human-run star system out here in the Beyond would be dangerous,” Dana said. “The starship is a fantastic prize. It has alien technology that includes a new beam, a better shield and a completely new star drive that bypasses tramlines. Whoever captures the ship will be tremendously wealthy. Greed motivates people do to nasty things.”

Maddox took his time answering. Did he detect avarice in the doctor’s eyes? He didn’t want to believe it. She had taken the Star Watch oath. Would she hold to it? Or would Doctor Rich think of it as some lesser superstition she’d taken to build morale at the most critical juncture of the trip? Without Dana, none of this would have been possible. Maddox didn’t want her for an opponent again. He needed her to remain one hundred percent on the team.

“I’m not speaking about riches for myself,” Dana said, “if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Of course not,” Maddox said.

“I’m merely saying we have to worry about hijackers if we enter a technologically advanced star system. There’s something else, too. People in the past fled into the Beyond for a reason. Usually, the emigrants were odd in some way. Those oddities might trip us up if we go into their star system.”

“There are dangers all around us,” Maddox agreed, “but we have a deadly warship. People will trifle with us at their peril.”

“The starship has sustained heavy and obvious damage,” Dana said. “We’re limited in what we can do, and people are going to know it. That’s provided we can even get the star drive working again.”

“And that we can find such a technologically advanced star system somewhere close by,” Valerie added.

“Nevertheless,” Maddox said, “we have the neutron beam and a sturdy shield. We can fight whoever thinks to cheat us.”

“Once we repair the deflector generators, you’ll have a shield again,” Dana said. “I don’t even know if any of the other ship’s systems are repairable. The star drive has taken all my thoughts and energy. We have to restore it now.”

“Agreed,” said Maddox. “That’s why you’ll continue attacking the problem with Meta, Keith and Riker helping you.”

Both Maddox and Dana glanced at Meta.

The former two G miner continued to stare forlornly at a distant and unseen point.

“Meta,” Dana said softly. “Is anything the matter?”

Slowly, Meta turned her head. She no longer had her hair bound up. It now swept forward, partially hiding her features. From what Maddox could see, her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy.

“We’re stranded in the void,” Meta said. “We’re fast running out of food. My metabolism runs hotter than ordinary. I’ll starve long before anyone else does.”

Maddox had wondered the same thing about himself.

“You can’t give up now,” Dana told her. “We’re closer to winning everything than ever before.”

Meta made a soft sound. “Do you know how long I’ve been hearing that? Try all of my life. Every time I win, I land in something worse. I thought the prison planet was the height of despair. Wrong. It’s being in a starship that can’t jump, with food and hope quickly dwindling into nothing.”

“No, no,” Dana said, obviously pumping heartiness into her voice. “We have a window of opportunity. This is the time to use it. You have strength and wits. We can eat for a little while longer. During that time, let’s work like demons and fix what we can. If we fail, well, we can worry about it as our stomachs shrivel into nothing. Until then, I’ll fight with all my strength against the universe. I’m not going to let it beat me. And if it does, well, it will know that it has been in the fight of its life.”

Meta turned weary eyes onto Doctor Rich. “I realize that’s one of your strengths. You refuse to quit. You’re remorseless and never say die. I’m finally seeing that every victory lands me in a worse position. Can’t you understand how demoralizing that is?”

“Bah!” Dana said, chopping a hand through the air. “I can’t accept defeatism from you of all people. Do you remember all those monotonous months on Loki Prime? You were the most stalwart Temple Savant of the lot. Your positive attitude was more valuable than your mechanical shrewdness and strength. It’s the person who keeps trying that eventually wins.”

Meta sighed wistfully.

Looking away, Maddox realized something he hadn’t suspected before. Dana needed Meta. Maybe the Rouen Colony woman was the only real friend Dana Rich had ever had. The doctor needed someone who believed in her. That was interesting. As their leader, he couldn’t afford to let any of them wallow in despair. Turning back to them, Maddox reached across the table and put a hand over one of Meta’s.

She looked up sharply, staring at him.

“I wish you’d come with me,” he said. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Where do you want to go?” Meta asked in a lifeless voice.

“Outside,” he said, removing his hand and standing. For several seconds, he didn’t think she would respond further.

Finally, with a heave, Meta stood.

“This way,” he said, motioning with his head. As he headed for the hatch, Captain Maddox didn’t wonder what he was going to do or say. For months, he’d fought to reach the alien starship. Now, the thing was in his possession. That was phenomenal. Not only that, but he’d faced three star cruisers, destroyed one and lived to tell about it. Now, he had to get this relic back to Earth.

Behind him, Meta closed the hatch.

Maddox kept walking down the corridor. He used a well-worn path, avoiding any crusted slime. When they stepped on the ancient substance, it put noxious fumes in the air. He walked until they turned a corner and the hatch was out of sight.

“Where are you headed?” Meta finally asked.

He heard the difference in her voice. She sounded exasperated instead of hopeless. His present action seemed to have stirred a tiny amount of anger in her. Maybe all wasn’t lost with the beautiful ex-miner. Maddox couldn’t believe it, but he found his heart racing and his palms becoming moist.

Something about Meta’s voice had driven him to notice her from the beginning. Her face was like a magnet to his eyes. He could be staring off into space and suddenly, he’d realize he was staring at her. He would look away, and soon he would find himself gazing at her sidelong. Not only that, but her shape tantalized him.

“Captain Maddox,” Meta said, and there was more than a hint of anger in her voice. “I’m not walking any farther until you tell me what this is about.”

He turned around, facing her. “I don’t understand you,” he said.

“That isn’t surprising. I don’t think you understand anyone.”

He grinned. He couldn’t help it.

“You find that amusing, do you?” she asked.

“You’re beautiful,” he told her.

Meta shook her head, making her dark hair swish back and forth. “No. You’d better not try any more of your tricks. If you do, I’m going to break an arm.”

“That’s better than quitting and moping.”

“Oh, I see,” she said. “You think you can perk me up with your witty ways. Well, it won’t work.”

Stepping closer, he said, “That’s exactly what I think.”

She watched him warily and raised her hands as if ready to enter a combat stance.

Maddox’s grin widened. He had been far too engaged with the quest these past weeks to try something like this. Now… well, why not press this beautiful creature against his chest? More than ever, he found himself wanting to kiss her and have her passionately kiss him back.

“Don’t try it,” Meta warned.

Maddox moved in, and Meta thrust a knee at this groin. He blocked with his leg but the crash of her knee against his thigh caused him to stagger back.

Meta laughed as Maddox regained his balance. “I warned you,” she said, and there was humor in her eyes.

“You did warn me,” he said. “Yet, that’s why I asked you to come out here.”

“For me to thrash you?” she asked.

“No,” he said, “to show you the power of persistence.” He moved at her again. Once more, she thrust a knee at his groin. He slipped to the side so her strike failed to connect. That caused Meta to lose her balance. She stumbled as he moved back, catching her in his embrace. For a moment, Maddox held the stunning woman in his arms. He felt her against him, and he bent his head, kissing her.

The Rouen Colony woman melted into his embrace. She gripped him, giving him a rib-shifting hug.

“Are you sure about this, Captain Maddox?” Meta whispered, staring into his eyes.

He almost lost his breath from her hug. Instead of admitting defeat—she kept squeezing—he hugged her back with his considerable strength. Then, he bent his head again and kissed her longer than before. This time, she returned it as the power of her hug lessened to something tolerable.

“Meta,” he whispered.

“Captain Maddox,” she said back.

He liked the sound of her voice. He liked the feel of her against him even better.

After a time, he released her. She also let go of him and swept her fingers through her hair.

He debated telling her not to give up hope. An instinctive part of him realized she might believe he’d done all this just to keep her going. This wasn’t the moment to tell her to keep trying. Maybe this wasn’t a time for words. Sometimes, a person simply needed to be wanted, to belong to another.

“In the end,” she told him, “we can’t win. You know that, right?”

Surprised at her words, he raised an eyebrow.

“That’s why I let you do what you just did,” she said. “It’s only fair that I tell you, Captain. I took a vow long before this. My past won’t allow me the kind of emotional attachment you’re craving.”

“Me?” asked Maddox.

Meta nodded sadly. “I am what I am. That can’t ever change. I was an assassin, and I did whatever I had to in order to succeed for my world.”

“What does any of that have to do with this?” he asked.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a nice person. I’m a killer with a pretty face. You’re… a unique man. I could learn to like you too much. That won’t do.”

He frowned at her.

“I don’t want to be hurt, you see. You’re the kind of man who unintentionally hurts women. I’ve had to armor myself for the things I’ve done. To let a man like you past the armor would destroy me. Of course, I’m already destroyed, but you don’t want to hear about that. None of this matters, though, because we’re doomed to die out here.”

Maddox scratched his cheek. For a moment, he wondered if his difference from others meant he could never know love as regular people did. Meta was unusual, and she kept herself emotionally separate from others. Is that why she despaired now?

“You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?” Meta asked.

Maddox had an inkling of what she wanted to hear. So he shook his head.

“You’re lying,” Meta said softly. “You think you don’t have to pay the bitter price of your power, your unusual abilities. In this, I see more clearly than you do.”

Maddox let himself go blank so nothing showed on his face. Meta wasn’t going to be easy, he could see. So be it. What was the right move now? Hmm… yes, he believed he knew.

The captain squared his shoulders. “Let me ask you a question.”

“Yes?” she asked.

“If we’re doomed, as you say, why not strive with every fiber in you to defeat the night? Why go quietly down to death? Let’s fight oblivion together. Let’s fight to live longer and do more than simply quit. If you admit defeat, the game is already up. If you strive, well, who knows, maybe we’ll produce another wonder.”

Meta turned away.

Maddox waited. He’d made his attempt for now. He had time, and he had a hunter’s patience. He wanted her, and he was going to get her.

“Yes,” Meta said, looking up. “Let’s try. What do we have to lose?”

Won one and lost one, with the opportunity to continue the game. That’s not bad for playing a hunch.

Maddox verbally agreed with Meta. Then they returned to the starship’s wardroom.