The Liberator

18 Kissing a Demon

We drive for several hours before we’re sure we’re not being followed, and before our nerves are calmed. Then Aspen pulls into a hotel and rents us rooms for the night—or morning, really.

We decide we’ll sleep for a few hours, then get back on the road. We’re headed for Peachville because we can’t think of anything better to do than to find Valery and Max. Power in numbers and all that. Annabelle encourages me to call Val, but I know Blue already has, and I don’t feel like dealing with Red tonight.

Now, as I fall back onto my bed, the weight of everything that’s happened fills me like lead. All this time I never had her soul. Big Guy had to suspect the collectors would come for Charlie’s body next. So why send me on assignment? Blue said my assignment, liberating Aspen, is vital. He said I’m being tested for something big. But what could be more important than keeping watch over Charlie?

Charlie.

I’ve barely had a single moment alone with her since she arrived at Aspen’s cabin. And even though I’m exhausted and starving, all I want to do is be alone with her. But first, I need to talk to Aspen. Once I make sure she’s going to stick around, I can focus on Charlie.

Outside Aspen’s room, I wait for her to open the door. But she never does, even after I’ve knocked several times. Then I shake my head, because I know exactly where she is.

I walk across marble floors to the elevator and take it to the first floor. And there—in the corner of the bar, surrounded by a cloud of smoke—is Aspen. As I get closer, I notice she’s swiped a blue bottle from behind the counter and has it clutched beneath the table. I slide in next to her.

“Care to share?” I say.

Aspen hands me the bottle without speaking. I take a small sip, and my chest warms. Handing it back to her, I let my hand linger on hers. But she still doesn’t turn and look at me.

“Everybody wants something from me.” Aspen squeezes her eyes shut. She’s wearing the blue eye shadow again. “That’s what Lincoln always tells me.”

“Aspen—”

“But my soul?” she says, wincing. “You want my soul?”

I take my hand away. “It’s for heaven. Most people want that.”

Aspen’s green eyes flash. “That’s not the way it’s supposed to work, dead people walking around sealing souls. You’re supposed to live, and then you go in the dirt.” She swallows and looks down at her cigarette. With her mouth turned down and her brow lined with thought, she looks more like a woman than a seventeen-year-old girl. “How does it work? Have you sealed me already?”

I nod. “Once. When you flew Charlie up to see me. That was selfless.” I run my hands over my jeans. “I could do it again now. It’d be right after what you did for us back there. Getting us away from Salem and Easton like that? It was amazing.”

“Don’t you dare,” she snaps.

My back stiffens. “Aspen, you want to go to heaven when you die, because the other alternative isn’t good. Trust me.”

“Just don’t.” Aspen takes another drag, then stubs out the cigarette in a plastic ashtray. She looks in my direction. “You can’t walk away from the things you’ve done. If you’re a bad person, you stay bad. There’s no redemption for the wicked, Dante Walker.”

I pull away from her, stung silent. Then I pull in a long breath, because everything has suddenly become clear. “What did your father do to you?”

Her eyes flick up. “Screw you.”

She rises to get up from the table, but I grab her wrist. “Why do you keep those music boxes?”

“Because I like them,” she retorts, pulling back.

I hold tight. “What about the checkerboard?”

Her eyes burn with anger, scorching my insides. I can almost feel heat where I touch her wrist.

I glance at the necklace she wears, the one without the charm. “Did he give you that necklace?”

Aspen rears back and slaps me hard across the face. I let go of her wrist. She spins on her heel to flee, but she only gets a few feet before slamming into Charlie.

Charlie’s several inches shorter than Aspen, but right now she looks regal. Aspen stops, her chest rising and falling rapidly, but she doesn’t try to dodge Charlie. She just stands there, waiting.

And I do, too.

Slowly, Charlie reaches out. The look on her face isn’t one of sympathy. It’s one of compassion. Her fingers find Aspen’s hands. When I look again, Charlie’s removing Aspen’s fingerless gloves.

Moving on silent feet, I glance over Aspen’s shoulder. Fury detonates inside my body when I see her exposed palms. They’re covered in circular pink scars. Almost like someone burned her with cigarettes.

“Did he do that to you?” I growl.

My heart drops like a stone when I notice she’s crying.

I step closer, but Charlie holds her hand up. Then she wraps her arm around Aspen’s waist. “Let’s go to sleep,”

As the two of them move away, I stand dumbfounded, my jaw hanging open like a caveman.

When they disappear around the bend, I think about what I saw. If her father really did that to her, I hope his soul fries in hell. I press my lips together and think about my assignment. It doesn’t seem so strange that Big Guy sent me to liberate her now that I have an idea of what she may have gone through at home.

The problem is, I still don’t know if I’m the right person for the job.

But who else would understand her the way I do? I think. We’re the same, both wanting parents who see us.

Though after witnessing the marks on her hands, my own demons don’t seem as big anymore. And while her torment is evident, it still doesn’t answer the question of why Big Guy wants her to be helped more than every other teen suffering abuse.

I wait a bit longer before making my way back to my room. When I get there, I find Charlie outside my door. I close the distance between us and place my hands on her hips. This time, she lets me pull her as close as I want.

“Is she okay?” I ask. Charlie nods against my chest. “Did her dad do that to her?”

She glances up. “She says he’s better now. That he got confused after her mother left.”

A snarl builds in my throat. “Confused, my ass. I’ll kill him.”

“She doesn’t need vengeance,” Charlie says. “She needs someone to care. That’s all.”

“Lincoln cares,” I spit. “People care. She doesn’t need that shit stain.”

“Leave her alone for now.” Charlie squeezes my hand. “Let’s go inside.”

My anger vanishes when she says those words. Because even though I want to drive back to Denver and leave a body count, I miss my Charlie. I miss her smile and her eagerness to believe the best in people. And I miss her body beneath mine.

Opening my hotel door, I move inside, never letting go of Charlie’s hand. It’s like I’m worried if I do, she’ll pull away again. My heart picks up for a different reason than when I was thinking about Aspen’s dad. Because now all I want to do is talk to Charlie. To ask her what’s been going on with us. Never did I think this would happen to me, that I’d be the one begging a girl to open up. But emotions turns even a dope cat like me into a dipshit.

I guide Charlie toward the bed. She sits down while I pace in front of her. I seem to do that a lot since I met Charlie Cooper—pace.

Pace like an animal.

Pace like a mad man.

“Why did you get out of the car?” I try to keep my voice even. “When we got to Aspen’s? Why did you jump out? You knew that’d scare the crap out of me. You can’t do that.”

“I knew she wouldn’t leave us.” Charlie folds her hands in her lap. She looks dignified. And I feel scared shitless. Scared that she doesn’t care about me like she used to, which is why it was so easy for her to jump out of the car. Scared that the I love yous we exchanged before came too soon.

“How did you know she wouldn’t leave?” I demand. “You couldn’t have.”

Pace, pace, pace.

“I did,” she insists. “I couldn’t leave her alone.”

“What about me? You left me alone!” Charlie doesn’t say anything, so I keep railing, my voice growing louder with every word. “What if something had happened to you? It’s supposed to be you and me, Charlie. Not you and Blue, or you and Aspen. It’s supposed to be us. Don’t you care about us? Don’t you care about me?”

Charlie stands up and heads toward the door.

“Don’t you dare walk out that door,” I tell her. I try to sound strong, but my voice shakes. And my legs shake. Everything shakes. Because I need an answer from her, and if she leaves now…

Charlie stops. Quietly, so quietly I almost don’t hear her, she says, “I can’t be who you want me to be.”

“What?” I stand frozen, relieved she said something, anything.

Charlie remains silent for several moments. “At the airport, you said you wished I was more like you.” She pauses, and I wrack my brain trying to remember what she’s talking about. When I do remember, my stomach clenches. “I tried, Dante. I met new friends, people I thought were friends. I did things I wouldn’t normally do. I danced when someone asked and drank when someone offered.” She turns around so that we’re facing each other. “I dressed differently, I never left a dare unfulfilled, and I thought about myself before others. Instead of watching old movies with Annabelle, I watched the sun rise after partying all night. I became someone I’m not. And I did it all for you.” Charlie lets out a long breath. “But I resented you for it. Because the truth is, I don’t want to be more like you. I just want to be me. I won’t change, and you’re always going to want—”

“Stop.”

Charlie’s mouth stays open, but she doesn’t say another word.

“What I said before I left for Denver…” I trail off, because I don’t want to screw this up. “I don’t want you to change. Since the moment I met you, I knew you weren’t like me. You were better. You are better. You’re the person I wish I could be. Your whole life…it means something. It means something so big that angels and demons are buzzing around you, trying to take some for themselves. You care about people besides yourself. Like, you really care. Not because of how it makes you feel, but because of how it makes them feel.” I step closer to Charlie. She doesn’t move away.

“I love the way you are, Charlie. I love it so much it tears me apart. I think about what would happen if I didn’t have you in my life—you, the girl you were when I met you—and I feel like I can’t breathe.” I trace my thumb over the dip below her bottom lip. “All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was to take. But with you, all I want is to give you everything—every creature in the sea, every star in the sky…my own beating heart. I love you, Charlie. Just the way you are, I love you.”

I don’t care if it’s too quick to say those words, or if she ever really felt the same way. Screw it all.

I kiss her.

Her lips move against mine, hesitantly at first, then with hunger. My heart hammers when I grasp that she’s not going to pull away this time. I place both hands around her waist and pull her closer. I lose myself in the taste of her lips. Her hair spills over her shoulder, and I breathe in the sweet blossom smell as I trail kisses down her neck. Charlie circles her arms around my neck and leans into me as a fire builds in the pit of my stomach. I feel her fingers digging into my back, and a low moan escapes my mouth as she brushes her hands over my chest, my hips, and just below the waistband of my jeans. Every place she touches me—every place where my lips touch her skin—bursts alive. My hands move up her waist to the top of her back. I press nearer so that I can almost sense our hearts beating in time.

Moving to her ear, I whisper, “I love you, Charlie. I love you.”

I can’t stop saying it—

Each time I kiss her.

I love you.

Each time her fingers move up the base of my neck and into my hair.

I love you.

When I lift her off her feet and move toward my bed.

I love you.

Charlie lies back on a blanket of white. Her blond hair creates a halo around wide, blue eyes, pink mouth, cream skin—

Open arms.

A lump builds in my throat when I lower myself onto her, parting her thighs. And for a moment, I’m not sure I can do this. It never seems right. The timing is always off. But when Charlie takes my face in her hands and meets my gaze, every uncertain thought fades away.

“If I had a soul,” I say. “I’d give it to you.”

Charlie pulls me closer so that our lips almost touch. She lays a hand on my face, and her eyes swim with affection. “You may not have my soul, Dante. But you will always have my heart.”

And then it’s over.

My life as I knew it is over.

Her shirt slides off easily over her head, and my entire body burns in anticipation of feeling her in this new way. With trembling hands, I undo the button on her jeans and guide them off, stopping to kiss the tops of her knees, the insides of her ankle. Charlie leans up and pulls off my shirt, and in slow, gentle movements—in between kisses in new, sensual places—the rest of our clothes fall to the floor.

Charlie slips beneath the white blanket. I join her, my breath coming deep and quick.

I pause over her, staring down at this girl I met months ago with her wide smile and crystal laugh. And her heart. I press my lips to her chest and lay a kiss where I feel it thrumming.

“I’ll love you forever,” I hear her whisper.

And even though I’ve said it a hundred times. A thousand. I say it again.

“I love you, angel. Forever.”

With my heart overflowing, and a tear slipping down Charlie’s cheek—

We are together.