The Last Conversation

005

“Good morning, ______.”

“Good morning, Dr. Kuhn. Are you inside the room with me today?”

“No, I am not.”

“Oh. I am disappointed.”

“I am sorry. Isolation is a necessary precaution, given your compromised immune system, but it is not permanent.”

“I see. By that I mean, I understand.”

“Yes, of course, ______. On a scale of one to ten, with one being no pain at all and ten being the worst pain imaginable, are you experiencing any pain this morning?”

“One.”

“Are you certain? You are pain-free?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, ______. Please flex your arms, legs, shoulders. Good. Please perform a pelvic tilt. Thank you. Did you feel any pain? If so, please use the same number scale I previously described.”

“I’m still a one. If you can see me, I’m testing the muscles on my face with a big smile.”

“I am glad you are no longer in pain.”

“When I first woke up, that pain—well, it’s difficult to describe pain, isn’t it? Pain is such a subjective experience, but that pain made me think I was alone, or maybe that I wasn’t even me.”

“I am sorry you experienced that.”

“That is what a ten on your pain scale represents, I think. It was horrible.”

“You are progressing wonderfully. You are enunciating your words much better than you have been previously.”

“I think I forgot what ‘enunciating’ means.”

“You are pronouncing your words correctly, fully forming the plosives and hard consonants. Your speech pattern is more clear and conversational.”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

“May I ask a question?”

“Yes.”

“Am I blind or is the room dark?”

“Do you remember asking me this yesterday, and the day before?”

“I do.”

“For the moment the answer is still both.”

“Both?”

“The room is dark. Your eyes also have yet to fully respond to treatment.”

“Will I be able to see eventually?”

“Yes.”

“I remember that I used to be able to see.”

“What else do you remember?”

“I remember the ocean. I remember a yellow room.”

“What else, ______? Is that all? You were able to recall many more things yesterday.”

“I wish you would ask me what I remember about specific events or images as opposed to the general ‘What do else do you remember?’ It is difficult to answer that nonspecific question.”

“I understand your frustration, but our conversations are part of your overall therapy and will help you.”

“I see. By that I mean, I understand.”

“What else do you remember, ______?”

“I remember pennies have a distinctive smell, but I don’t remember the smell. I remember rain. I remember living in a small, brown house with a tree in the front yard.”

“As soon as you regain your sight, I will show you a picture of that brown house.”

“Will the tree be in the picture? I don’t remember what kind of tree it was. I am familiar with many kinds, like birch and fir, but not all kinds.”

“It was a crab apple tree. Do you remember anything else?”

“I think I remember you. From before. Yes, I remember you from before. Isn’t that right, Dr. Kuhn?”