The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August

Chapter 16

Drugs.

More drugs.

They strapped me to my bed, just like Dr Abel had, but unlike Dr Abel they didn’t have the medical instruments so fell back on a mixture of ties and belts. They didn’t beat me more than was necessary to achieve submission, merely enough to make it clear that submission was the only option. Then Phearson said, “I’m really sorry it came to this, Harry, I really am. I hoped you would understand.”

Scopolamine made me laugh; temazepam made me sleep. They tried sodium amytal and I couldn’t stop crying, though I didn’t feel very sad. They misjudged the first dose of barbiturates and my heart nearly popped out of my ears. They modified the dose and Phearson sat as I drooled nonsensical nothings.

He said, “We don’t want to hurt you, Harry. Christ, I’m not that guy, I’m just not; I’m one of the good guys. I’m a good guy trying to do the best. We don’t want to hurt you, but you gotta understand this is bigger than you or me, much, much bigger.”

Then they brought up the jump leads from the garage downstairs and he pressed his face close to mine and said, “Harry, don’t make me do it. Come on, we can do this. We can make things better, you and me. We can make this world a better place!”

When I didn’t answer, they pumped me full of antipsychotics and stuck the leads into a socket on the wall. But one of the guys got it wrong and touched the wrong bit, and shocked himself, yowling like a cartoon character and jumping a foot in the air. They had to take him downstairs to put ice on his hand and didn’t try anything else electric that night.

“Come on, Harry,” whispered Phearson. “Do the right thing. Make a difference, damn it! Make a difference!”

I laughed and rode on the warmth of the temazepam wave.