The End of All Songs

17. Some Confusion Concerning the Exact Nature of the Catastrophe

The large, black egg-shaped air-boat containing, in an indentation at the top, Lord Mongrove settled to the ground nearby. A look of profound and melancholy gratification lay upon the giant's heavy features. In robes of funereal purple he stepped from the boat, his right hand drawing their attention to the desolation beyond the city, where not even a wind whispered or stirred the barren dust to a semblance of vitality.

"It has all gone," intoned Mongrove. "The cities no longer sustain our follies. They can barely sustain themselves. We are the last survivors of humanity — and there is some question as to whether we shall continue to exist for much longer. Well, at least most of the time-travellers have been returned and the space-travellers given ships, for all the good it will do them. Yusharisp and his people did their best, but they could have done much more, Duke of Queens, if you had not been so foolish as to trap them for your menagerie…"

"I wanted to surprise you," said the Duke somewhat lamely. He was unable to take his eyes away from the desolation. "Do you mean that it's completely lifeless out there?"

"The cities are oases in the desert that is our Earth," Mongrove confirmed. "The planet itself crumbles imminently."

Jherek felt Mrs. Underwood's hand seeking his. He took it, grasping it firmly. She smiled bravely up at him.

The Duke continued to fiddle with his useless power-rings. "I must say one feels a certain sense of loss," he said, half to himself. "Is My Lady Charlotina gone? And Bishop Castle? And Sweet Orb Mace? And Argonheart Po? And Lord Shark the Unknown?"

"Everyone, save those here."

"Werther de Goethe?"

"Werther, too."

"A shame. He would have enjoyed this scene so much."

"Werther flirts with Death no longer. Death grew impatient. Death took him, perforce." Lord Mongrove uttered a great sigh. "I am meeting Yusharisp and the others here, shortly. We shall know, then, how much longer we have."

"Our time is limited, then?" said Mrs. Underwood.

"Probably."

"Gord!" said Inspector Springer, upon whom the import of Mongrove's words was just beginning to dawn. "What bad luck!" He removed his bowler again. "I suppose there's no chance at all of getting back now? You wouldn't 'ave seen a large time-machine about, eh? We were 'ere on official business…"

"Nothing exists beyond the cities," Mongrove reiterated. "I believe your time-travelling colleague was prevailed upon to help in the general exodus. We thought you dead, you see."

For an instant, at their backs, the city shrieked, but subsided quickly. Scarlet clouds, like blood in water, swirled into the atmosphere. It was as if the city had been wounded.

"So he's returned…" continued Inspector Springer. "That's for sure, eh?"

"I regret that the evidence would suggest as much. If he was unlucky, he might have been caught up in the general destruction. It happened very quickly. Atoms, you know, dissipating. As our atoms will doubtless dissipate, eventually. As the city's will. And the planet's. Joining the universe."

"Oo, blimey!" Sergeant Sherwood screwed up his face.

"Hm." Inspector Springer rubbed his moustache. "I don't know what the 'Ome Secretary's going to say. There's nobody to explain…"

"And we'll never know, either," Sergeant Sherwood pointed out. "This is a fine turn up." He seemed to be accusing the inspector. "What price promotion now?"

"I think it's high time you reconciled yourselves to your fate," suggested Harold Underwood. "Earthly ambition should be put aside. We are, after all, here for eternity. We must begin considering repentance."

"Do be quiet, Mr. Underwood, there's a good chap." Inspector Springer's shoulders had slumped somewhat.

"It could be that there is still a chance of salvation, Inspector."

" 'Ow do you mean, sir?" asked Sergeant Sherwood. "Salvation?"

"I have been considering the possibility that one may be granted the Kingdom of Heaven, even after one has been consigned here, if one can work out, satisfactorily, exactly why one was placed here…"

" 'Ere?"

"In Hell."

"You think this is —"

"I know it, Sergeant!" Harold Underwood's smile was radiant. Never had he been so relaxed. It was plain that he was absolutely happy. Amelia Underwood contemplated him with some relief and affection.

"I am reminded of John Bunyan's uplifting moral tale, The Pilgrim's Progress ," began Mr. Underwood, flinging a friendly arm around Sergeant Sherwood's shoulders. "If you recall the story…" They wandered off together, along the perimeter.

"Would that we were all so deluded, at this moment," said Mrs. Underwood. "Shall there be no chance of escape, ultimately, Lord Mongrove?"

"Yusharisp and his people are currently looking into the problem. It could be that, with careful use of the resources at our command, we could keep a small artificial vessel of some kind going, for a few hundred years. We should have to ration all provisions most carefully. It might even be that some would not be able to join the vessel, that a selection would have to be made of those most likely to survive…"

"A sort of new Ark, then?" she suggested.

The reference was meaningless to Lord Mongrove, but he was polite. "If you like. It would entail living in the most rigorous and uncomfortable conditions. Self-discipline would be all-important, of course, and there would be no place for amusement of any sort. We would use what we could from the cities, store the information we could glean, and wait."

"For what?" asked the Duke of Queens, appalled.

"Well, for some kind of opportunity…"

"What kind?"

"We cannot be sure. No one knows what will happen after the dissipation. Perhaps new suns and planets will begin to form. Oh, I know it is not very hopeful, Duke of Queens, but it is better than complete extinction, is it not?"

"Indeed," said the Duke of Queens with some dignity, "it is not! I hope you have no intention of selecting me for this — this drifting menagerie!"

"The selection will be arranged justly. I shall not be the arbiter. We must draw lots, I suppose."

"This is your plan, Lord Mongrove?" asked Jherek.

"Well, mine and Yusharisp's."

"It appeals to you?"

"It is not a question of what appeals, Jherek Carnelian. It is a question of realities. There are no more options. Will you not understand that? There are no more options !" Mongrove became almost kindly. "Jherek, your childhood is over. Now it is time for you to become an adult, to understand that the world is no longer your cockle."

"Don't you mean oyster?" Inspector Springer asked.

"I think he does," agreed Mrs. Underwood, with some distaste. The thought of sea-food was still inclined to make her feel queasy.

"It would help," said Mongrove sternly, "if I were not interrupted. I speak of the most serious matters. We may be moments away from total obliteration!" He looked up. "Ah, here are our saviours."

With a sort of wheezing noise the familiar asymmetrical mound that was Yusharisp's spaceship started to descend, to land near to Mongrove's egg. Almost immediately a tiny squeaking began and a mould-covered door opened in the side of the ship. From the door issued Yusharisp (at least, it was probably Yusharisp) followed by his colleagues.

"So(skree) many sur(skree)vivors!" exclaimed Yusharisp. "I suppose (skree) that we (roar) should be grateful! We, the survivors of (skree) Pweeli, greet (roar) you, and are glad to kreee yelp mawk…" Yusharisp lifted one of his feet and began to fiddle with something at the side of his body.

Another Pweelian (probably CPS Shashurup) said: "I take it (skree) that Lord Mongrove (roar) has informed you that the end (skree) is with us and that (roar) you must now (skree) place yourselves under our discipline (skree) if you wish to (roar) extend your chances of living (skree) (roar)…"

"A most distasteful idea," said the Duke of Queens.

The Pweelian said, with a note of satisfaction in his voice: "It is not (skree) long since, Duke (roar) of Queens, that we were (roar) forced to subject ourselves to your will without (skree) any justification whatso(skree)ever!"

"That was entirely different."

"Indeed(skree) it was!"

The Duke of Queens subsided into a sulk.

"As far (skree) as we can ascertain (skree)," continued Yusharisp, "your cities are still continuing to (roar) function, though they have been hard-pressed. Indeed, surprisingly, there is (skree) every evidence that (yelp) they will remain functional long enough (roar) to (skree) allow us good time in which to prepare evacuation (yelp). If a means of harnessing their energies can be found…"

Helpfully, Jherek lifted a hand on which power-rings gleamed. "These harness the energies of the city, Yusharisp. We have used them for a good many millions of years, I believe."

"Those toys (yelp) are not (skree) what we need now, Jherek Car(roar)nelian."

"This encounter becomes boring," said Jherek in Amelia's ear. "Shall we seek privacy? I have much to say."

"Mr. Carnelian — the Pweelians hope to help us!"

"But in such a dull way, Amelia. Would you belong to yet another menagerie?"

"It is not quite the same thing. As they say, we have no choice."

"But we have. If the cities live, so may we live in them, at least for a while. We shall be free. We shall be alone."

"You do not fear annihilation, still? For all that you have seen that wasteland — out there?"

"I am still not entirely sure what 'fear' is. Come, we'll walk a little way and you can try to explain to me."

"Well — a little way…" Her hand was still in his. They began to leave.

"Where (skree) are you going?" shrieked Yusharisp in astonishment.

"Perhaps we'll rejoin you later," Jherek told him. "We have something we wish to discuss."

"There is no time! (Roar). There is no (yelp) time left!"

But Jherek ignored him. They headed for the city, where Harold Underwood and Sergeant Sherwood had already disappeared, not long since.

"This is (skree) insane!" cried Yusharisp. "Do you reject our (roar) help, after all our efforts? After all we have (yelp) forgiven you!"

"We are still a little confused," Jherek said, remembering his manners, "as to the exact nature of the catastrophe. So —"

"Confused! Isn't it (skree) obvious?"

"You seem a trifle insistent that there is only one answer."

"I warned you, Jherek," said Mongrove. "There are no more options!"

"Aha." Jherek continued to draw Amelia towards the city.

"It is the very End of Time. The End of Matter!" Mongrove had gone a very odd colour. "There may be only a few seconds left!"

"Then I think we should like to spend them as peacefully as possible," Jherek told him. He put his arm round his Amelia's shoulders. She moved closer to him. She smiled up into his face. He bent to kiss her, as they turned a corner of a ruined building.

"Oh, there you are, at last," said an amiable voice. "I'm not too late, after all."

This time, Jherek did not respond to the newcomer until he had kissed Amelia Underwood warmly upon her welcoming lips.