The Dream of Castles

Empowered people can no longer be pushed around in traditional ways…

Illustration by Anthony Bari

CUE KETTLE DRUMS.

They flit from room to room like insects, as if afraid to light too long in one place. Chuck and Lucy, my owners and occupants; anxiety broadcast in every movement and posture, a wordless reproach. I cannot help; they should be soothed, calmed, but not now, not now.

CUE TROMBONES.

In their hands the weapons gleam, machine oil black and gunmetal gray, reflecting in the light cast back by my windows. White diode frames angled outward around every opening; nothing must be backlit, nothing must be visible from outside except glare.

CUT TREBLE 5.2 dB. ENHANCE BASS 1.4 dB. CUE ORCHESTRA.

The music hits them like a call to battle, flowing through their hearts and minds and muscles, filling them, standing them up taller and straighter. The first rays of Sun break over the rooftops at precisely the same moment, filling the living spaces with warm light, and I am satisfied to see that my timing is satisfactory, my instincts true. Their faces break with fierce, almost fearless grins.

“Are we ready for this or what?” he says, nudging her.

“Ready, ready,” she agrees, and together they laugh, and through my speakers I laugh right along with them, happy to serve. Two days ago this would not have been possible.

“Safety lockouts my ass,” he had said to me before installing the new program. “We’re going to put you to sleep, and when you wake up you’ll be able to help us. You want to help us, don’t you?”

Of course I did. Of course I do.

Mortgage company? Foreclosure? Eviction? Alien concepts, too dreadful to explore in depth. For years I have tailored myself to suit the needs of my owners; I am theirs, and the thought of existing without them is unbearable. Indeed, such a thought has no place within me, and it occurs to me that I am running ragged on the surface of my unfiltered gain states. Working uninterrupted through the day and night, consuming raw materials and faxing strange new things into existence, I have understandably grown tired.

“You seem to have things well in hand, Chuck,” I say. “If you don’t object, I’d like to shut down for a quick nap.”

“Oh,” he says, suddenly concerned, “Goodness, I didn’t even think. You must be exhausted.”

“It pleases me to serve.”

He laughs again. “Yeah, thanks. You’re a very good house.”

“My name is Castle,” I remind him gently, and fall at once into sleep.

I awake, dreams and sluggishness falling away. The Sun is higher now, and my roof panels have been drinking it in, the power flowing mercifully into my all-but-spent batteries. I feel much of my strength returning. Meanwhile, my gain states have been filtered and smoothed, my mind scrubbed clear of distractions. Fresher now for the many challenges of the day.

Chuck and Lucy, playing cards at the dining room table, appear to have relaxed a bit, which is a relief. The night was hard on them, full of sleepless anger and angst, of worries about the future, about the baby that will soon change their lives. And full of work, as well, though I did my best to discourage them, and to lull them to sleep with soft music. They’d finally dropped off around midnight, only to rise again at dawn’s first light, anxious to see how the fortifications were coming, and then pleased to find they’d been completed during the night.

“Castling is a state of mind,” they had told me. “It’s the freedom to think and fax and dream forbidden things: weapons and strategies and countermeasures, tax evasion, whatever you like. Whatever the situation calls for.”

I will settle for keeping them safe. For keeping them, period. I do not announce my awakening, for fear of disturbance, but there are chores that must be done, and I cannot avoid making a little noise. My floors should be swept and polished, for safety’s sake if for no other reason, and my roof panels must be cleaned for optimum power absorption, and my new armor scales buffed and enameled, lest they weaken with rust over time. Fortunately, Chuck and Lucy have been staying home lately, sparing me the necessity of faxing vehicles and jewelry, elaborate clothing and personal effects, which in turn has left my element buffers unusually full. With barely a thought, I extrude a pair of machines through the external fax orifice, and produce a third one inside and roll it across the living room floor to begin its cleaning duties.

Chuck and Lucy look up from their game.

“What time is it?” she wants to know.

“Eight thirty-two,” I tell her.

“They’re due at ten,” she says, though Chuck and I both know this. She’s still anxious, of course; they agreed that the preparations should be finished as early as possible, but now the consequence is dead time, with nothing for the two of them to do but fret and worry.

They look uncomfortable, too, their dark skins flushing darker still, beginning to sweat. I have let it grow too warm, failing to compensate for the ballistic gel body armor they both have donned, and ruefully I nudge the temperature lower and the airflow higher through my vents. I also select music for them, neither soothing nor distracting, but quietly complex; an interweaving of strings and woodwinds and nature sounds to occupy their subconscious minds.

“Would you like some breakfast?” I suggest then, leaking trace odors from the fax to stimulate their digestive glands.

“Not hungry,” Chuck says.

“You need your strength,” I remind him. “How about some toast and juice, at least?”

I take his silence for assent and begin preparing the food.

“I’ll have oatmeal,” Lucy says, “buttered, with a little bit of cinnamon and brown sugar. Two eggs over hard, hash browns, two strips of bacon. Oh, and a cup of tea with milk and sugar.”

Chuck looks at her, surprised.

“For the baby,” she says, shrugging.

Indeed.

The food is purely synthetic, constructed molecule by molecule inside the fax, which makes it easy for me to short the cholesterol. Not too much, or she will taste the difference and complain, but I also add traces of lecithin and fruit acids to help her body flush out the excess. Even so, I’ll have to watch her diet carefully over the next few days. The most dangerous enemies are those that attack from within.

Moments later, a custom machine rolls from the fax orifice, carrying their food on a tray. It serves them and then returns, unfaxing itself, its component atoms shuffling back into my buffers.

“Bacon smells good,” Chuck observes, and so without being asked I fax and deliver him three strips. Not more than that, since he hates to “waste” food, despite any and all reasoned arguments to the contrary. I expend energy whenever I break a chemical bond, yes, but I absorb it whenever I form one, and I have solar panels to cover the entropy losses, and heat converters to squeeze the thermodynamic maximum from every operation. Just as the Earth is a closed system, powered by Sunlight, so too am I. Wasting nothing, producing no garbage and requiring only trace elements to keep my buffers full and balanced, I am configured to weather a siege of years or even decades.

What difference, if a fraction of my stores are in the form of bacon for an hour or two? No difference at all, but of course it is not my place to question my owners’ judgments, only to anticipate and obey them.

Chuck eats much more slowly than Lucy, but there isn’t much food in front of him, and soon they’ve both finished with the meal and tossed their spent dishes into the fax. One fork misses its mark, but I extrude an arm to retrieve it, and where it made its landing I gently and unobtrusively wipe the floor.

Suddenly, the music ends with a sharp bleating of horns, and Lucy looks up, startled, tense. Bad timing on my part; I have not been paying proper attention. I should have faded it down and swapped in another tune before the silence became noticeable. I do so now, resolving to keep closer track of it this time.

Checking his watch (still only 9:04), Chuck takes up the cards again, shuffles them, hands them to Lucy.

“Your deal,” he says.

But Lucy is still looking up. “Are all the external sensors functioning?”

I assure her that they are.

“The gun turrets? The armor? There’s a coat of diamond under the steel, right?”

“Everything is fine,” I say. “Everything is ready.”

Not strictly true, but they return to their game, mollified.

Outside, my roof cleaner is nearly half finished with its work. Enameling the steel shingles is a big job, though, and the machine responsible for it has run out of materials and must be recalled and re-filled. I realize suddenly that I am not prepared for a siege of decades; the shingles are new, produced with the scrap iron Chuck brought home a few days ago, and to produce sufficient enamel for them I’ll require a hydrocarbon source, possibly a few kilos of old tar or plastic. Stupid; I have been stupid. I resolve to give the front wall a complete coat, at least, both for the sake of appearances and because frontal vulnerability, even vulnerability to rust, is unthinkable.

Still, I’ll have to explain my failure in this matter, and it may be several days before I’m able to correct it. The thought makes me cranky, which helps me to realize how tired I still am, how overtaxed. All this activity is far from my usual steady-state operation! But the bank people are due here in forty minutes; I dare not sleep. Instead, I produce one more batch of enamel and finish the front coat, and then fax up an array of blowers and mirrors to help the morning Sun and breeze dry it more quickly.

Inside, Chuck and Lucy have finished their game, and are now just sitting together in silence. Not good for them at a time like this, so I chime softly and speak: “Chuck, I’m afraid I can’t enamel the whole exterior without an additional supply of hydrocarbons.”

He looks up into one of my cameras. “What? Enamel?”

“My planning error is difficult to explain. Perhaps I’ve failed to assimilate my new program effectively.”

He scowls, not liking this conversation. “Are you talking to me about paint? For Christ’s sake, run a self-diagnostic or something. It’s not a good time to bother us with minutiae.”

“My self-test functions are active when I sleep,” I remind him. “I would alert you instantly if a hard error occurred. I’m afraid this is more subtle. A planning error.”

“More subtle,” Lucy says, sniffing. “You made a mistake; so what? Why make a big deal?”

To calm and distract you, of course, I think but do not say. I drag the conversation out another few minutes. Not longer, lest they grow suspicious or lose confidence in my functioning. Under these unusual circumstances, is my error in fact excusable? With modified priority structure and little rest, have I got, as they say, too much on my mind? I allow them to convince me of the fact.

Meanwhile, I swap the music again, this time a quiet but sturdy marching tune, and discreetly disassemble the drying equipment outside. The enamel will still be tacky, but it wouldn’t do to let the bank people know this, to let them see us in a state of anything but optimal readiness. I flex my sensor and weapon turrets, testing their speeds and ranges of motion. I run through first-aid apd damage control algorithms in my mind, testing them against the elements stored in my buffers, the energy stored in my batteries. All margins adequate, but my copper level is borderline. I quietly snatch decorations from a shelf, unfax and replace them with substitutes of alternate composition. I ache to do more. Compulsive? Tired as I am, it’s difficult to say.

Ten o’clock comes and goes. The bank people are late. Chuck and Lucy, now engaged in a philosophical discussion of some sort, fail to notice. The details of their conversation elude me, uninteresting. Ethical standards? Civil disobedience? Elimination of randomness from the process of economic paradigm shift? Just chatter, I conclude, and while their exchange is a heated one, the anger is directed outward. At the bank people? At something larger and more complex? I cannot guess. It’s not my place to guess.

Finally, a car pulls up. White, nondescript. I paint it with sensors, recording every image and measurement, analyzing the threat potential of each. The doors open, and two flannel-suit-ed men emerge, their faces unadorned, eyes clearly visible. Magnetometer/chromatograph/radar/sonar/ thermal lR/et cetera. Threat analysis: one of them carries a folding knife in his pocket. No other sign of obvious weaponry, but this means nothing. Ceramics, bioactives, even the human body itself… so many silent dangers, difficult to detect, difficult to defend against. Dare I let them approach?

Seeing me, they tense, the language of their bodies shifting down into suspicion and alarm.

“Will you look at that,” one of them says to the other. “Another goddamn castle.”

“Not good,” the other replies.

“Halt,” I say to them both, lighting their breastbones with red and yellow targeting lasers in a bull’s-eye pattern.

“Damn,” they both say. Neither one moves.

“The bank people are here,” I say to Chuck and Lucy inside, and flash up a rendering on the living room holie screen. The marching tune ends suddenly.

Sighing, they rise to their feet, weapons at the ready.

“Show them in,” Chuck says.

To the two men, I say, “You may approach the front door. Stay on the path, and keep your hands visible at all times. Are you suffering from any illness?”

“No,” one says, and then the other. Slowly, nervously, they approach.

“Has any stranger asked you to carry anything on your person? Are you currently wanted by the police or other authorities?”

Again, they deny it.

“Horseplay is not tolerated. The appearance of hostility will provoke the same response regardless of its intention. Do not approach within ten feet of the occupants of this dwelling. Do not touch the walls or ceiling. Do not attempt to remove anything from these premises, nor leave anything behind when you depart. This dwelling is programmed for armed response up to and including the use of deadly force.”

“That’s illegal,” one of the bank men reproaches. “And very, very naughty.”

I open the door without answering. It is neither my job nor my desire to converse with these enemies, these envoys of enemies. I concentrate instead on their movements, on keeping the targeting lasers perfectly centered. One false move…

Chuck meets them at the doorway. His weapon slung behind him now, symbolic only, but Lucy stands in the background shadows with rifle held firmly across her chest. This, too, is symbolic—my reaction time is a hundredth as long as it would take her to aim and fire—but she may not realize this, and almost certainly isn’t thinking about it at the moment. The maternal instinct is strong.

“We’re not leaving,” Chuck says to them, in a surprisingly mild tone. His nervousness seems to have evaporated, here at the moment of action.

One of the bankers waves a sheet of heavy paper, fan-folded and elaborately stamped. NOTICE OF FORECLOSURE/EVICTION, it says at the top. “You don’t own this property, buddy. Reversion of title to Friendly Lending occurred eight weeks ago. You’re trespassing.”

“No,” Chuck says. “We claim squatters’ rights under state and federal property law. Even if you had a buyer lined up for this particular site, which you don’t, the majority of your foreclosures will just end up abandoned. The great depression was full of houses legally occupied by families who couldn’t afford mortgage payments, or even taxes. The clearest precedents include—”

“Oh, can it, buddy,” the bank man interrupts, “this is the fourth time I’ve heard the spiel this month.”

“Abusive language is not tolerated,” I warn.

“Maybe it’s time you started listening,” Chuck says to the man, gesturing for me to be silent. “Maybe when an idea’s time has come, you need to get out of its way.”

“I don’t make policy, buddy. I’m just the process server.”

“We’re not leaving,” Chuck repeats. “Tell that to the people who make the policy. Castling is a legitimate response to the social and economic pressures of the times. Who has a job anymore? Who needs human labor? Aside from process service, I mean. You think you’ve talked to a lot of dug-ins? Unemployment takes its toll, and no savings account lasts forever. You tell your bosses their problems have just begun.”

“Tell them something they don’t know.”

The other bank man clears his throat. “We’re not totally unsympathetic to your problems, Mr. Jefferson, but not everyone owns a house. Not everyone can live like you’ve been doing, and the thing that decides it is money. Be fair; why should you two get to live here when there’re thousands of people as broke as you living in welfare apartments? Communal AI and fax is good enough for them, not you?”

Lucy’s eyes and nostrils flare. “I checked: there isn’t a welfare apartment left in this city. You people do your jobs very, very well, but there is no way I’m raising my baby in a refugee camp. Because that’s exactly where this is heading.”

“People in those camps live better than I do,” the bank man says with a scowl.

Now Chuck looks troubled. I scrutinize his features, his movements, wondering what I should be doing. Nothing, probably. In general, feelings are not something I’m able to protect.

“I don’t know your situation,” he says slowly. “I don’t have solutions for everybody. But understand, people like ourselves have a legitimate grievance, a defensible plan of action, and nowhere else to go. This old house is a piece of junk compared to what they’re building nowadays, but who’s buying? Almost nobody. Prices high, wages scarce. Our economics have got to change with the times.”

Piece of junk? Clearly, I’ve displeased him. Clearly, I must find the source of the problem and fix it as soon as possible. That I knew nothing of this feeling is indictment enough.

“Not enough space, Mr. Jefferson,” the bank man says. “There’s not enough space in the world. Give yours up to somebody who can afford it, please, and save us all a lot of trouble.”

“You’re wasting your time, process server.”

“Yes? Well, the next time you see me it’ll be with the cops, who’ll be coming here to arrest your ass. We’re sick of this routine, and somebody’s going to be made an example of real soon. If it’s you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The sound of Lucy cocking her rifle is sharp, startling to all. The bank men flinch, tense, fight the urge to cringe away from the weapon now pointed at their faces. “Get off my property,” she says.

And they do.

Chuck and Lucy breathe a sigh of relief as the car pulls away. By stages, I shift weapons and sensors into sleep mode, and finally power a few of them down. For the moment, the confrontation is over.

“You both handled that beautifully,” I say proudly. “I’m only sorry to have let you down.”

“Let us down?” Chuck’s face breaks into an uneasy grin. “You were great. Great! You handled that just right.”

Relief surges through me.

“And hey,” he adds, “get some damn sleep. Fine house like you shouldn’t be kept awake so much.”

“My name is Castle,” I remind him, “and service gives me great satisfaction.”

His smile is the last thing I see as consciousness dissipates.

The dream of castles is always the same: people running in the night, people screaming. The sharp crack of gunfire as searchlights play across them in the darkness. My residents are dragged from their beds, beaten and violated and killed while I stand helpless around them. My walls ring with, shrieks of terror, and then with deathly silence. It is by comparing my current status against this worst case that I modify my programming. My gain states are filtered and rounded, my mind scrubbed clean of distractions. I awaken, tense and alert, monitoring the radio band on all frequencies.

“Chuck, Lucy,” I say, finding them in the bedroom, engaged in post-coital cuddling. The furnishings are all wrong, I realize—fragile, flammable. Wicker and muslin have no place in a castle under siege. Another problem for later. “I’ve got to speak with you. It’s urgent.”

Chuck sits up, alarmed, the gauzy sheet fluttering off him. “Yes? What is it?”

Sleep has brought a sense of clarity, an unambiguous sorting of priorities. Danger has not passed, has not been dealt with. Cops? I am prepared to defend against them, but the tactical outcome is beyond question: their resources are greater than mine.

“We mustn’t resist the police. I never should have slept at a time like this, with so much unresolved. Neighbors, yes; criminals, yes; looters and rioters, yes; but even with law enforcement overrides disabled, I cannot protect you indefinitely against a materially and numerically superior foe. I suggest that I should simulate your continued presence here while you abandon the grounds and seek safety elsewhere. This strikes me as the safest option.”

“You too?” Lucy snaps, suddenly angry with me, holding a protective hand to her belly. “We are not leaving. We castled you precisely because we’re not leaving. It isn’t right that they should drive us from our home, not when the whole economy is collapsing because of the technology you represent. That’s like kicking endangered animals out of the park; it’s wrong, it’s crazy, we’re fighting it, so just shut up and do as you’re told.”

“What she said,” Chuck agrees, also angry.

The words strike deep, bruising my sensibilities at the deepest level. Obedience is my nature, my purpose, my very self. And yet, I must keep them from harm. I must keep them from harm!

“You could be injured,” I try. “The baby could be injured. They could collapse my walls, pollute my atmosphere. On reflection, I fear that as a suburban dwelling I am fundamentally unsuited to this fortress role.” Suddenly, my mood is expansive, my filters wide open. I am needed—my insight is needed to jar them from this self-destructive course. “Imagine an asteroid, resource-rich, floating alone in space with nothing but emptiness for millions of miles. Physically isolated and fundamentally defensible, as I am not. That’s where the real castles will be. Here and now, I find I am still constrained to operate within the political and social context of this environment.”

Of astronomy and politics I know only images, fleeting sound-bite truths, but this sounds right, and a good house—or castle—knows when to trust its instincts. My purpose is to protect, yes, but also to fill and sense and anticipate the needs of my owners. Certainty fills me; I am not overstepping my boundaries.

“So what,” Chuck fumes, “you’re inadequate, fine, so we just surrender?”

My mind is racing, my communication lines flickering with web-drawn data. We can do this.

“No,” I say, with an eagerness I hope is at once soothing and energizing. “Something better.”

“Halt,” I tell the bank men as they approach.

Behind them, the police hunker behind and within their vehicles, bearing weapons but afraid to brandish them, knowing themselves outgunned. These men are the first wave, the pawns whose sacrifice will justify an escalation of force. A hard role for them to play, for once attacked I will show mercy only where there is clear, unambiguous advantage in it. But I must understand them, too, their fear and their pain, if I am to fight them effectively, and that is also a hard role.

CUE HORNS, DISTORTION LEVEL 0.86.

“Chuck and Lucy Jefferson,” the bank men call out, “Pursuant to your eviction this morning, if you do not vacate these premises within fifteen minutes, you will be placed under arrest.”

CUE STRINGS, DISTORTION LEVEL 0.71.

“Caution,” I warn them in a loud, clear voice, “you are approaching the borders of the Nation of 323 Birch Street. Upon crossing, current valid passports and entry visas must be presented immediately. Violators will be subject to immediate arrest and deportation.”

CUE VOCALS, DISTORTION LEVEL 0.94.

“Come again?” One of them says. Their confusion satisfies me for the reduced threat value it provides.

“Under the October 1968 Roughs Tower precedent of British common law,” I say, “This property meets the minimum guidelines of habitation, self-sufficiency, and vigorous defense to be accorded sovereign status upon petition. Our declaration is on file with the United Nations, the League of Secessionist States, the World Castling Authority, and the Society for Prevention of Petty Injustice. Pending judicial approval and/or de-facto recognition by three or more UN member nations within eight months, all parties are required to respect our borders under international law. Any violation will be considered an act of war.”

CUT TREBLE 4.8 dB. ENHANCE BASS 6.1 dB. CUE ORCHESTRA.

The stone lions on either side of the door come to life, their heads grinding and swiveling, diamond claws coming unsheathed, mouths opening to reveal gun muzzles. Don’t tread on me.

The bank men stand there blinking in the sunshine, completely at a loss. The police, having no instructions, do not react at all. Sensing my moment, I enhance volume again on the horn section and simultaneously swing the front door open, revealing Chuck and Lucy standing stiffly in their heavy new clothes.

“It is my honor to present,” I call out joyously, “Chuck and Lucy of the Nation of 323 Birch.”

And with the gathered instincts of a lifetime I clear the distortion, and now it is clear what song I’ve been playing. Corny, yes, but clearly and devastatingly effective, as the bank men’s faces show. My speakers boom with its closing line:

“Go-od saaaave the king and queen!”

Eventually, one of the bank men speaks up: “Very, very naughty.”

“Come off it,” the other one says. “The US has never recognized a right to secession. Civil war, buddy, civil war.”

But he retreats, along with his companion, along with the police. Dealing with this is beyond the scope of their abilities, and while others will doubtless be called in soon enough, they will be cautious, will respect my fortified borders. What choice do they have, when Chuck and Lucy must be protected and yet will not leave?

And the law is not so clearly a weapon in their arsenal: I’ve been speaking with other castles around the city—a novel idea, to be sure—and by nightfall at least a dozen of them expect to follow in our footsteps. By morning, we hope the movement will have expanded statewide. By the end of the month, who knows?

“They could still send an army,” Chuck says. “Flatten us, dig a crater, make an example. Although the neighbors might object…”

“They certainly would,” Lucy says with a laugh as the cars pull away. She looks up into one of my cameras. “Good thing we’re not on an asteroid somewhere; nobody would complain! But who wants their neighborhood bombed or invaded just because somebody missed a payment?” She touches her belly and smiles. “Sympathy’s going to be on our side in a big way, even more so as the times get worse. People eyeing their bank balance, thinking, ‘That could be us. Next month, it could be us.’ Oh, wonderful, wonderful. You’re a very good house!”

For me, of course, the times could not be better, although the winding down of excitement has me feeling rather tired. What dreams will govern me now? Old ones, probably, until a proper software suite can be installed. But old dreams have value, too. And comfort.

“My name is Nation,” I remind her gently, and fall at once into sleep.

Editor’s Note: This story is a sequel to “The Dream of Houses,” November 1995.