The Devil Inside

CHAPTER 15

There was another round of whipping later that night. Only this time, it was Adam’s voice I heard crying out in pain — not even a hint of pleasure — and there were no sex sounds afterward. My guess was that Adam had done penance for keeping that crucial secret. I hoped it was cathartic for Dominic.

I hadn’t bought any PJ’s on my shopping trip, and I wasn’t about to sleep naked in this house, so I curled up in bed fully clothed. I don’t think I’d ever felt so miserable about myself in all my life. My mind kept going over and over how I’d treated Brian and the rift I’d caused between Adam and Dominic. Asking myself when I’d come to be so hateful. Wondering if it was too late for me to change.

I must have drifted off eventually, because the next thing I knew I was in Lugh’s living room — or whatever it was.

I was sitting on the sofa, and Lugh sat on the love seat facing me across the coffee table. His right ankle was propped on his left knee, his arms spread out across the back of the love seat. He’d backed off from last night’s aggressive outfit. Black leather pants and boots seemed to be a uniform for him, but tonight he topped it with a plain black T-shirt. He still looked good enough to eat, but I didn’t feel an unbearable urge to fling myself at him. That was a plus.

My native defensiveness made an appearance, and before he had a chance to speak, I asked, “So are you going to tell me what a miserable bitch I am for what I said to Dominic?”

He smiled faintly. “Should I?”

I sighed. “Probably.”

“You’re too hard on yourself.” His voice was rich and dark as molasses. “You meant well.”

I sank into the sofa and crossed my arms over my chest. “Did I? Adam sure didn’t think so.”

“Adam barely knows you.”

“And you know me better?” Dumb question. He probably knew me better than I knew myself, even though he was a total stranger to me.

He just smiled. “Your technique could use some work, but your heart was in the right place.”

I suddenly remembered something Adam had said, something I hadn’t paid much attention to at the time. If I’d known Lugh had lifted the injunction …

Lugh had lifted the injunction? Just how “I” was this VIP?

“So,” I said, “Adam seems to think you’re worth protecting.”

Lugh slid his ankle off his knee and put both feet on the floor. “As I happen to be inhabiting your body, I should think you’d agree.” He smiled at me. It was a friendly, disarming smile. But I’m not that easy to disarm.

“Wanna tell me who you are?”

“Not particularly. You haven’t shown yourself to be the soul of discretion.”

He scored a hit. I tried not to let it show. “Considering all the shit I’ve gone through because of you, I think I deserve to know anyway. I was almost burned alive last night, if you remember.”

I think I scored on that one, though Lugh’s expression didn’t change much. He leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees, looking at me as if trying to puzzle me out. His gaze was disconcertingly intense.

“Stop looking at me like that!” I snapped.

One corner of his mouth lifted, but he didn’t let it become a full smile. “I suppose you do have the right to know how high the stakes are.”

I kinda thought the stakes were pretty high already, what with people trying to crispy-critter me, but I kept that opinion to myself.

“I told you I’m a reformer,” Lugh continued.

I made a “keep talking” motion with my hand.

He seemed to brace himself. “I frighten my own people because I have the power to make my reforms come to pass. You see, I’ve just ascended to the throne. I’m their king.”

Well, that was a stunner, no doubt about it. I was possessed by the king of the demons? Hell, I hadn’t even known they had a king. Then I realized he said he’d just ascended to the throne, which suggested that beforehand, he’d been a prince. Named Lugh.

I think for a moment, my heart stopped beating.

Lugh laughed at me. “No, I’m not Lucifer,” he assured me. Either he’d read my mind, or my face gave away my thoughts. “Although I suppose it’s possible some of the mythology is loosely based on me.” I probably didn’t look any less alarmed. He rolled his eyes. “Remember, this is the same mythology that says demons live in the fires of Hell. There have always been segments of the human population who find us frightening and therefore vilify us. That doesn’t make the stories true.”

He had a point. Much as I disliked demons, I’d never subscribed to the hellfire-and-brimstone point of view. There was no reason to change that now. I nodded to indicate I was over my moment of superstitious dread.

“My brothers have taken the first step to start a war of succession,” he continued, “though I suppose if they succeed in killing me, it will not be much of a war.”

“Brothers…” I made the word halfway a question, though I would have liked to come up with something more eloquent and intelligent-sounding.

Lugh nodded. “Two of them. Dougal is the elder and will succeed if something happens to me.” He met my eyes grimly. “My youngest brother is named Raphael.”

Shit on a stick! I swallowed hard. “That would be Raphael, as in the demon Andrew is hosting?”

“So it would seem.”

I frowned. “But if this is a war of succession and Raphael is in on it, why didn’t he just kill you the moment you possessed me? You make it sound like I was too out of it to put up much of a fight.”

“True.” His lip curled in distaste. “Raphael and I have a long history of bad blood. Dougal and I disagree on matters of policy, but with Raphael, it’s always been personal.” The hinges of his jaws stood out in stark relief, like he was grinding his teeth. “I suspect he found the prospect of a swift death…unsatisfying. And I suspect Dougal’s other supporters are rather annoyed with Raphael right now.”

He looked at me and shook his head as he spoke. “I always wondered why there was only one person there on the night I was summoned. I would bet my kingdom Raphael acted on his own to use you as a host. Since Dougal’s quarrel with me is political, not personal, he wouldn’t have let me live a moment longer than he had to. But Raphael is determined to make me suffer first.”

And I thought I had troubles with my brother!

“So if Adam and I can get hold of Andrew, would you be able to cast your brother out of him?”

Lugh smiled at me. “Not unless you’d be so kind as to let me take control when you’re conscious.”

I shuddered.

“But even then, I don’t know if I could do it. Raphael and I are evenly matched. I have no way of knowing who would win if we fought.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What about me? Can I toss him out on his ear?”

Lugh sighed. “I’m afraid not. You are obviously a very skilled exorcist, but Raphael is beyond you.”

That tweaked my pride. “You never know until you try. I’ve kicked some serious demon ass in my time.”

He looked amused. “I regret to inform you that the vast majority of demons who walk the Mortal Plain are of far less exalted — and less powerful — lineage than Raphael and myself. You have not faced a demon of anywhere near our rank before.”

Just what I wanted to hear. “And what about Adam? Did you ever really believe he could exorcize you?”

His shoulders lifted in a hint of a shrug. “No. But I hoped to speak with him. I need an ally.”

“Other than me, you mean.”

His amber eyes crinkled with amusement. “Are you my ally?”

“Well, duh! I don’t have much choice, you know.”

He inclined his head, causing a lock of that fabulous black hair of his to slide forward across his cheek. My hormones took notice, but didn’t go nuts.

“Point taken,” he said. “But I suspect Adam has skills and contacts that we might find useful.”

“And you trust him?” I sure as hell didn’t.

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have delivered myself into his hands.”

My heart thudded. “This was your idea! You told him to kidnap me and lock me up.”

Lugh laughed. “No, not in so many words. I asked him to help and protect you. He decided on the manner in which he would do so.”

I had a few colorful things I wanted to say, but Lugh kept talking.

“Truly, Morgan, he is a good man, and he’ll keep you safe to the best of his ability.”

“A good man? Excuse me, but were you napping earlier this evening?”

Lugh’s shrug was elegant. “I didn’t say he was a nice man.”

“Sorry, in my book, good men don’t whip their lovers.” Judgmental? Maybe so. But also heartfelt.

His stare pierced me. “Even if their lovers enjoy it?”

“Even if.”

Lugh looked disappointed in me. “If you could inhabit another’s skin as we do, your mind would be less narrow.”

I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but I didn’t know him well enough. Yeah, I actually have to know someone pretty well to be vulgar with them. I settled for willing myself to wake up from my dream.

I didn’t expect it to work, but almost immediately my eyes opened and I found myself curled into a protective ball in bed. The room was still pitch black, my body heavy with exhaustion and interrupted sleep. I stretched and turned over, and before I had time to wonder if I’d now be awake the rest of the night, I was asleep again.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of someone clomping around my room. I blinked bleary eyes and turned away from the wall.

The clomping was the sound of Adam’s biker boots impacting the wooden floor. I sat up cautiously, keeping my eyes fixed on him, but he had his back to me and didn’t seem inclined to look in my direction.

He dropped a tray onto the writing desk, rattling dishes and silverware. It was just a wild guess, but I thought he was still pissed at me. I slid my feet out of bed, studying the tension in his broad shoulders. He must have heard me stirring, but he didn’t look my way.

After putting the tray down, he made a beeline for the door. I gathered he planned to leave without once speaking to me or even looking at me. But, sad to say, he was the closest thing I had to a friend right now, and I needed him. I swallowed my fear and my pride.

“Adam, wait,” I said as he jerked open my door.

He froze with the door halfway open, his hand still on the knob. Still, he didn’t turn toward me, though I had a good view of his profile. His mouth was set in grim lines, his eyes narrowed, but it didn’t look like anger. It looked more like pain.

“Did I cause irreparable damage?” I asked. I had to keep my voice fairly low so it wouldn’t wobble. Despite Lugh’s pep talk last night, I still felt really bad about the trouble I’d instigated.

He hesitated a long time in the doorway, then pushed the door closed and turned to face me. A muscle at the corner of his eye ticked, and his face looked paler than usual. For about half a second, that puzzled me. Then a sneaking suspicion crept into my mind.

“Are you hurt?” I asked him. He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. I remembered what I’d heard last night.

I raised my eyebrows. “You’ve had plenty of time to heal the damage.”

He shrugged, but the movement made him wince. “If I were so inclined, yes.”

It offered me an unwanted glimpse into his psyche. “Would Dominic have any objection to you healing yourself?”

His chin jutted out stubbornly. “Doesn’t matter.”

Yeah, I knew what I was looking at, all right. Self-loathing: an emotion with which I was intimately familiar. It meant it wasn’t so much me he was pissed at as himself. I found myself in reluctant sympathy.

“Dominic’s demon could have told him the truth, too. It’s not all on your shoulders.”

His eyes closed and he heaved a sigh. “I still should have told him. To hell with our laws. It’s not like Dom would have told anyone else.” He opened his eyes and looked at me. “I might never forgive you for the way you did it, but I’m glad he knows the truth.”

I accepted that as gracefully as I could. I wondered how Adam had managed to get so attached to the real Dominic so quickly, but I wasn’t nosy enough to ask.

I was, however, fond enough of meddling to ask, “So is Dominic enjoying this whole martyr bit you’ve got going on?”

Adam’s sensual lips twisted into an ugly snarl. “I’d be very careful what I said if I were you.” His demon glowed in his eyes.

Oh yeah, I’d hit a sore spot, all right. A smart woman would have done exactly what he suggested. I guess that means I’m not that smart.

“I know you mean to punish yourself, but I can’t see Dominic as the kind of guy who — ”

He took a menacing step in my direction. “Shut. Up.”

“I would if I didn’t need your help and all, but you’re not much good to me — or to Lugh — if you’re wigging out. So I’m asking you to ask yourself who you’re hurting more by not healing yourself. My money’s on Dominic. So I suggest you cancel the pity party and heal.”

Both Adam’s fists were clenched at his sides, and the glow in his eyes was almost too bright to look at. “Damn you!”

I shrugged, trying to look casual and unworried while my insides quivered. Adam in a rage is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen. “Some would argue that I already am.”

I watched him struggle with himself for a long time. If the struggle went the wrong way, I had a sneaking suspicion he was going to forget his scruples about needing consent to hurt someone. I felt almost as bad about this whole mess as he did, but not enough to martyr myself for it. Which begs the question, why did I set myself up for it? But some questions I don’t want to ponder.

Finally, the glow in his eyes died. His shoulders sagged, and he shook his head with what looked like disgust.

“You’re right. I’m being a self-absorbed idiot.”

“So you’ll heal yourself?”

He nodded.

We both jumped at the sound of clapping hands. I guess we’d both been so focused on our staring contest, neither one of us had noticed Dominic opening the door. His eyes were brighter, more alive than I’d ever seen them.

“Brava!” he said, still clapping as he looked at me. “I never thought I’d see anyone best Adam in a battle of wills.”

“Fuck you,” Adam said, but there was no heat in his words.

Dominic grinned wider. “Any time, handsome.”

Apparently, he’d forgotten to be bashful around me. I’d have been embarrassed, but it was actually kind of cute — especially Adam’s chagrin. Offhand, I’d say Dominic had forgiven him, which made me feel a hell of a lot better. I might not understand or approve of their relationship, but I didn’t want to be the one to break it up. At least, not like that.

Dominic peeked over at the tray Adam had set down forever and a day ago. He frowned theatrically. “I see I slaved over a hot stove for nothing.” He looked at Adam. “Why don’t we invite our guest to join us downstairs for breakfast? We can discuss strategy.”

Adam hesitated only a moment before agreeing. “If you want to shower and change before you come down, we’ll wait,” he said. “We’ll be in the kitchen, down the stairs and to your right. Just follow the smell of food.”

“I’ll see you in a few,” I said.

I can’t tell you how much better I felt when they left and didn’t lock the door behind them.

The door to the black room was closed when I made my way downstairs about twenty minutes later with my hair damp and no makeup. I thanked God for small blessings.

At the foot of the stairs, I had a brief, almost overpowering urge to make a run for it. I managed to overcome it. I didn’t want to stay here a minute more than was necessary, but if nothing else, Adam could give me a lot of information. That’s assuming he was even willing to give me the time of day.

I found the kitchen easily enough. Adam was seated at the head of a rectangular butcher-block table, watching Dominic cook. There was no question of the fondness in Adam’s expression, and once again I wondered at it. One week ago, Dominic had been to all intents and purposes a different person. Why was Adam still carrying on a relationship with his lover’s host? I might have thought it was out of pity, but that wasn’t at all what it looked like.

When Adam caught a glimpse of me, the expression on his face cooled considerably. He sat up straighter in his chair, losing that relaxed, comfortable look. It made me feel oh-so welcome.

Dominic held no such grudge. He smiled over his shoulder at me. “Have a seat. Food is almost ready, and there’s coffee over there.” He pointed with his elbow, his hands busy at the stove.

I gratefully poured myself a mug of coffee, but couldn’t decide where to sit. I wanted to be as far away from Adam and his thundercloud as possible, but that would mean sitting at the foot of the table facing him. I settled for leaning a hip against the kitchen counter and cupping both hands around my mug. The coffee was heaven. Expensive stuff, by the taste of it, and freshly ground.

Dominic finished up at the stove, then set three plates on the table. He took the seat at Adam’s right, and I no longer had to decide where to sit.

An awkward, tense silence draped the room as I took my seat. Four wedges of French toast dusted with powdered sugar steamed at me invitingly. I caught the scents of vanilla and cinnamon, and my mouth watered obligingly. Too bad my stomach was clenched into a fist.

Adam drowned his French toast in maple syrup and started wolfing it down as if unaware of the tension. But the guarded look in his eye told me he was as aware of it as I.

“So,” Dominic said, his voice just a little too cheerful as he tried to force everyone to be at ease, “where do we go from here, eh?”

He passed the maple syrup to me. I obediently poured it, but I still didn’t think the knot in my stomach would loosen enough to let me eat.

“What do you mean?” Adam grunted. Most of his concentration was still on his plate.

“I mean, what’s the plan? Hiding and protecting Morgan is all well and good, but it’s not a long-term solution.”

Adam let his fork clatter onto his plate, though there was still a significant portion of his food left. He fixed me with a distinctly unfriendly look.

“Just so everyone’s clear,” he said in a pleasant voice while the expression on his face remained unpleasant, “we’re hiding and protecting Lugh, not Morgan.”

I couldn’t help but wince a little at that, even though I’d made the same point myself yesterday. It made me want to apologize some more, but I didn’t. For one thing, I was too stubborn. For another, I didn’t think it would do any good. I’m not sure if Adam actually hated me, but he certainly disliked me a lot.

“Don’t be an ass,” Dominic said, startling the hell out of me. I’d gotten the impression he was too deferential, too submissive to challenge Adam directly like that.

Even more surprising — Adam took it. “Sorry,” he mumbled, picking up his fork once more and digging into his French toast.

Dominic smiled at me. “Eat before it gets cold. Italians take it very hard when people don’t appreciate our cooking.”

The knot in my stomach loosened a bit, and I took a bite. That first taste was all it took. Tension be damned; this was too good to pass up. Maybe that’s why Adam was so fond of Dominic.

“Wow,” I said, savoring the delicate flavors. “This is delicious.” Adam was still shoveling it in like a pig at a trough. I took my life in my hands and said, “You might want to slow down and actually taste it. You don’t know what you’re missing.”

He froze with his fork an inch from his mouth, his eyes locking on mine in what I suspect was shock. Yeah, I had a lot of nerve poking fun at him at a time like this, but I couldn’t help myself.

Finally, he rolled his eyes, and a hint of a reluctant smile pulled the corners of his mouth upward. He put his fork down and cut the massive bite he’d been about to shove in his mouth in half.

“Is that better?” he asked.

I nodded, and Dominic gave me another one of those fabulous smiles. He seemed to like me a hell of a lot more than Adam did.

“So,” Dominic said, “let’s try this again. What’s our next step?”

I’d have rather just eaten breakfast in peace, savoring the delicious food, but I supposed making plans was more important. Now, if only I had some idea what to do…

Adam looked at me. “I didn’t have much time to talk to Lugh yesterday. Can you give me an off-the-record recap of everything that’s happened?”

I still wouldn’t say I exactly trusted him, but if I didn’t tell him, he could just clock me again and have another conversation with Lugh. So I told him everything I knew, including the painful truth about Val.

Our plates were empty by the time I’d finished. Dominic cleared the table, then came back and refilled all our coffee cups. I wasn’t comfortable letting him wait on me like that, but I had just enough people skills to know arguing over it was pointless.

When he sat back down, Dominic was frowning. “So why would Andrew frame you for murder? It would be damn hard to burn you to death while you’re in jail.”

I hadn’t even thought of that.

Adam smiled grimly. “If Morgan mysteriously disappeared while she was out on bail, what would the police think had happened to her?”

“Oh,” Dominic said.

Lovely. Glad to see my enemies were so thorough and organized. If I had to have enemies, I’d much rather have disorganized and stupid ones.

“So far,” Adam continued, “we have Andrew, Valerie, and three unidentified masked men on our list of enemies. It begs the question, how many more of them are there? Just how big is this thing?”

I rolled that around my mind. “Lugh said this was about a war of succession. If that’s the case, I’d say it’s pretty damn big.”

Adam nodded. “Yeah. And just taking out a couple of foot soldiers won’t be enough. We have to find out who’s in charge.”

“Wouldn’t that be Andrew? Raphael?”

“Maybe, but I doubt it. If he was in charge, he wouldn’t have tried to hide that you were hosting Lugh. One of the privileges of being in charge, you know?”

The more I thought about this, the less I liked it. The fewer bad guys trying to kill me, the better, but here Adam was, telling me that there were likely more of them out there than we knew about. Not a comforting thought at all.

“Maybe you need to have a candid conversation with your friend Valerie,” Dominic suggested.

“Just what I was thinking,” Adam said.

My stomach twisted into knots again. I’d been doing my best to avoid thinking about Val’s betrayal. I knew I’d have to face my feelings about it someday, but it was going to be a bitch.

“Why don’t you give her a call,” Adam suggested. “Ask her to meet you here.”

I widened my eyes at him. “And just how would I explain that I was asking her to meet me at the home of the Director of Special Forces?”

“I’m sure you can come up with something.” He leaned forward, putting an elbow on the table and propping his chin on his fist. “You could tell her you’ve decided to throw your boyfriend over for me.”

Dominic laughed and shook his head. I resisted the urge to kick Adam under the table.

“Ha-ha, very funny. But all jokes aside, I think I’d rather meet Val in a public place.” It occurred to me to wonder why Adam wanted her to come to his house. I didn’t like any of the answers I came up with.

He sat up straight, his face gone neutral. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We need to control the meeting place, make sure she doesn’t have backup.”

“She’s not going to burn me to death in the middle of a public place, no matter how much backup she has with her. Besides, she might have nothing to do with any of this. She might have been telling me the truth.” I didn’t really believe that, but I tried to allow myself to hope.

Adam didn’t challenge my delusion, though the look he gave me told me exactly what he thought about it. “If it’s just you and her meeting in a public place, why would you think she’d tell you anything? She’ll just claim innocence, and you might want to believe it enough to be convinced.”

My temper tried to make an appearance, but I tamped it down. He was right, but I still didn’t want to bring Val to Adam’s house. I had a sneaking suspicion I wouldn’t like his interrogation techniques.

“I’ll ask her to meet me for lunch at Reading Terminal,” I said. “If I can’t get her to tell me anything, then we’ll switch to Plan B.”

Adam looked exasperated. “And after you’ve had your cozy little lunch and she knows you’re on to her, what do you think the chances are that she’ll come meet you here for further questioning?”

I figured it was time to be blunt. “I’m not bringing her here so you can torture information out of her, and don’t tell me that’s not what you have in mind. I’ll either meet her for lunch, or we figure out another plan.”

“You’re a fool.”

“Well, you’re a — ”

“Morgan,” Dominic interrupted, reaching across the table and laying a hand on my arm.

I ground my teeth and glared at his hand until he moved it away. But he’d gotten his message across. I swallowed my opinion of Adam and crossed my hands over my chest in a classic I’m-not-open-to-your-suggestions pose.

Adam pushed away from the table with enough force to rattle the dishes.

“Fine! Do it your way. But when they catch you and burn you at the stake, don’t blame me.”

He stomped out of the room like a kid having a temper tantrum. I really wondered what Dominic saw in him. It seemed to take about five minutes of conversation for me to want to put a bullet through his hard-as-rock head.

“Well,” Dominic said with a little grin, “I’m glad to see you and Adam have patched things up.”

I couldn’t help laughing. “Yeah. We’re best friends now.”

“Do you want me to come with you when you go meet Valerie? If she might have backup with her, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to have it, too.”

His offer touched me, especially considering what I’d done to him. “That’s very nice of you, Dominic, but I think this is something I have to do on my own.” My throat tightened. “She’s been my best friend since high school. I need to find a way to deal with what she’s done, you know?”

He nodded. “Let me at least give you a Taser, just in case.”

That made me raise an eyebrow. “Why do you have a Taser?”

He laughed. “I don’t, but Adam does. I’m sure he won’t mind you borrowing it, as long as he doesn’t know.”

I was really starting to like Dominic. If I could just forget that he had some pretty sickening tastes, I might even say we could be friends.

“Thanks, Dominic. You’re definitely one of the good guys of this world.”

That seemed to both please and embarrass him. He muttered some self-deprecating remark that I didn’t quite catch, then slipped out of the kitchen to go steal a Taser.