The Descent

TWENTY-FOUR

I woke up in the fortress, back on the island, lying on a low bed made of cushions on the floor of Adair’s study. Gulls called from out over the sea. It was daylight outside, and the bright white ocean light bouncing through the window lit up the entire room.

I sat bolt upright. My head sloshed as though I had a hangover. For no reason I could think of, I had the taste of seawater in my mouth.

Adair was lying on the floor next to me. He was very still. Dear God—I grabbed his arm: he felt cold and heavy. I shook him, jostling harder and harder when there was no response. Wake up. You must wake up.

His eyes popped open. I burst into tears.

He was up, comforting me in an instant. “Why are you crying?” he said, trying to soothe me. “There is no reason to be sad. We’ve been returned. It’s a miracle. We are the luckiest people in the history of the world.”

He was right, of course. We were lucky. I threw my arms around his neck and blotted my tears on his collar. “I can’t believe we’re back, that’s why I’m crying. He listened to you. He gave you what you asked for,” I said.

“He isn’t without a heart. I was just able to move him to use it.”

“I don’t understand. . . . These memories . . . how are we able to remember what happened in the underworld?”

“A gift, I imagine. I’m sure he wants for us to know exactly how generous he has been to us.”

“And the queen—I suppose this means she’ll rule alone?” I asked.

Adair gave me a sheepish look. “Not alone, not exactly. She has Jonathan with her, remember. I may have persuaded the old man to see Jonathan in a new light. You see, gods are made when a lucky confluence of conditions come together at the moment of creation. I think you could say that Jonathan was the product of one such lucky confluence: take his extraordinary beauty. I think that, under other circumstances, he might’ve been intended to be a god, perhaps even Eros, the god of desire. But waste not, want not; he was there in the underworld already—why not give him a try?”

“You persuaded the old man to make Jonathan your replacement? To be king of the underworld?” I said doubtfully. Adair had always teasingly called Jonathan “the Sun God.” Maybe he’d had a sixth sense about it.

“You have to admit, there is a poetic justice to it,” Adair said with a little smile. “He’s been given tremendous privileges throughout his life, but for the first time, he will have to work hard for it.”

We lay back on the bower of cushions and the cashmere blanket, shoulder to shoulder, in a square of strong white sunlight. It was a delicious moment of respite, a curiously normal moment of calm, and I think Adair and I came to the same conclusion at the same time: we were back on earth in the house where everything had started, but how did we know that anything had changed? We’d been returned to the land of the living, but beyond that, how did we know that we weren’t exactly the same as we’d been before the journey?

“I want to see for myself,” Adair said, determined. He sat up and reached to his desk and began searching with his fingertips for something on the desktop. After a moment of groping and cursing under his breath, he found it: a penknife. The tiny blade, with its ivory handle, seemed an anachronism, a device from another time.

He pressed the blade to the tip of an index finger until it pierced the skin. A corona of red welled to the spot. We held our breath and waited. A minute passed and the wound hadn’t healed over yet. After another minute, a drop of blood rolled down his finger. The wound remained doggedly open.

“My God,” he said, raising it to his mouth to suck on the wound. With a burst of alarm, I realized that Adair could be made to hurt now, to suffer, to feel the burr of pain from a headache, a broken bone, or a tumor. Now wasn’t the time to turn my thoughts to the fragility of life, not when anything could press down and rupture our delicate human bodies, crush us like eggs, but I saw that I could lose Adair still. He could be taken away from me as swiftly as Luke had been.

I stared into his face and I knew that it had changed, almost unperceivably, but it had changed. I knew that soon time would be etched there, recorded in small lines near his eyes and mouth. It would come to me, too. We would see proof of time’s progress on each other and would be forever reminded of the bargain we struck today.

He’d given up so much for me that it was nearly incomprehensible to grasp the scope of it. Who would give up everything for love? Give up infinite power, all of time? And in exchange for the precariousness of the human condition, illness and decay, never knowing which day would be your last. Still, he’d agreed to this because of me. Me. It was humbling. I felt grateful that Adair could love me so much.

Then it struck me, the tremendous responsibility that came with love. He’d traded the entirety of the cosmos for this world, the infinitely small and yet complete world that contained just him and me. Together, we would experience everything that world had to offer. We would have children and raise them together; we would grow old together, and one day we would die. We would experience a common, everyday life, and that was the true miracle of love, I saw. That two people could be the world to each other. We had only the days of one lifetime to dedicate to the task, and suddenly—after two centuries of living as though life would never end—that timeline felt ridiculously short, as though we’d been cheated. Would the days of one lifetime be enough? They would have to be.

Again, Adair seemed to read my mind. He took my hands and looked into my eyes. “We have a set number of days together now—and who knows how many—so we must always remember that our forever is the rest of our two lives, our two lives together. Are you ready to do this, to spend the rest of our lives together, Lanny my love?”

My love. Those words had never sounded better. I leaned into him. “Yes,” I said, holding tightly to his arm as we lay back together on the cushions, bonded together for the rest of our lives. “Yes, I am.”