The Crystals of Mida

9 The traveling set—and a discovery of interest

Slow was the movement of the covered conveyances, though not so slow that the march was over-easy. Again I walked behind the kand of Telion and Ceralt, Fayan a small distance from me, behind the kan of Nidisar. We had looked upon one another briefly when first brought from the tents, and then had returned to our own thoughts and miseries. When the new light had first begun to appear, the males had risen from their sleep to relight the candles and hand about portions of the meat we had eaten the fey previous. Telion had released the leather from the post so that I might feed, and I did so in vile temper, for the leather had kept me from reaching to Telion’s covering as he slept, for the small bit of metal.

When we emerged from the tent, the kand of the males waited, as did a large number of other males, some of whom wore chains. Those with the chains quickly folded up the tents and placed them upon a conveyance which had no top or cover. The post from the rear of the tent had first been removed, and was also placed within the conveyance.

In the strengthening light, it was easily seen that more than six hands of tents were so being removed from the ground about us, and the fires were each being quenched. Many city folk moved about, some armed, some not, and better than thirty paces from us were a number of young slavewomen being urged within the rear of a covered conveyance. Upon completion of the folding of the tents, the conveyances, drawn by kand, were sent upon their way, the kand ridden by males preceding them, following them, and moving beside them. The male slaves were chained to conveyances which bore tents, thereby made to walk beside these conveyances, and many were the stares sent from them to Fayan and myself.

The light from behind thick clouds was gray, and also gray was my humor. Fayan and I traveled toward Ranistard, yet our captivity grated upon me. What was to be accomplished with Jalav in leather and metal, captive to males, who gloried in her shaming? If this was the purpose of Mida, already had it been brought about. Fayan looked not upon me, not I upon her, and so it would go, seemingly forever. The stones of the road now bruised my feet, and I had barely the strength to ignore it.

When the light was highest, the conveyances halted, and Telion and Ceralt dismounted by a tree, tied their kand, and then found a tree to which my neck leather might be wound, I being placed so that I knelt before it, my back hard against it. The leather to my wrists was looped about my ankles, allowing me to raise my arms no farther than waist height. Then did they remove themselves to a distance, where they sat with Nidisar and fed from the meat they had fetched with them.

Fayan had been placed as I was, before another tree, perhaps five paces from mine. Why we had not been placed together, I knew not, yet I did not really regret it. Little encouragement had I to give her, and none to give myself. For perhaps two hands of reckid did I kneel so before the tree, and then did sounds draw my attention. First I heard the sound of a lellin, scolding harshly at some menacing presence, and then came the call of a high-nesting wrettan, its sweet tones adrift upon the forest air. At first, I thought myself deceived, that the calls of the feathered children of the wild were accident, then did I hear them again, changed slightly as they should be, and great joy rose within me.

I looked toward Fayan, and saw that she, too, had heard and understood. Strongly were her eyes upon me, therefore did I lift my bound wrists as high as they would go, and in the silent hand-gesture speech of Midanna, I asked “Do you see?”

Fayan read my words, and raised her right hand to answer.

“No.” We both had heard the identifying call of Hosta, yet neither of us saw sign of them. I longed to see again the brave sight of my warriors, but knowing of their close presence was enough to dispel the gray of the skies. Mida had not abandoned us, and there was purpose aplenty to our captivity!

The males had neither heard nor seen, and came shortly to Fayan and myself with meat. Telion released the wrist leather from my ankles, amusing himself briefly, to my discomfort, as he did so, yet did I barely notice the playful touch, for I feared that Fayan, knowing herself watched by Hosta, would refuse to be shamed and inadvertently betray their presence. Fayan was, however, a strong and loyal warrior, refusing to betray her sisters even at the cost of her pride. She knelt before Nidisar and fed from his hand, reluctantly yet without struggle, then suffered his extended “reward” with eyes closed. When we were once more upon the road, I was relieved.

The conveyances were again stopped with yet a hin till darkness, and the tents were erected in their previous order by the male slaves. I hoped to be tied to a tree, so that in the confusion of erecting camp, one of my warriors might make her way to me unseen, yet was this not done. Telion took his kan and those of Ceralt and Nidisar, and disappeared from sight upon some errand, and Ceralt held the leather close about his fist till the tent stood, keeping me close by his side. Many times that fey had he looked upon me, yet had I not returned his looks, and once again did he seem angered.

At the departure of the male slaves I was thrust within the tent, and once within, Ceralt looked upon me. “You do not kneel to your master, slave,” he observed, “nor do you remove your skirting as you were bidden to do. You are not as satisfactory a slave as the other.”

“Jalav is no slave of any sort,” said I, meeting his gaze, as I knew I would soon be shut of him. “The hunter must truly fear Jalav, to ever keep her bound in leather or metal.”

“That may be a strong point in your training,” mused Ceralt. “You feel yourself feared, therefore superior. You must be taught otherwise.” He then reached toward me, and first removed the collar leather, then unbound my wrists. As I rubbed my wrists to restore life to them, he removed his sword, tossed it to the side, and looked toward me again.

“Now, slave,” he said, folding his arms, “remove your skirting and kneel.”

“I obey immediately,” said I, and then darted swiftly toward his sword. Almost did I have my hands upon it, yet Ceralt reached me before I reached it. His arms wrapped about me and bore me to the ground, his well-muscled form holding me easily just past arm’s reach of the sword. No farther did he move me from it, but kept me tantalizingly near as his hands ignored my struggles and removed my clan covering, then made free with my body. Maddened was I by his play, maddened by the nearness of a sword, and then he did that which I had never conceived possible. With his arm about my waist, he raised me to my knees, at the same moment forcing my head to the furs by a handful of hair, and in such a humiliating manner did he take me. The power of his maleness could not be escaped, and he made full use of me so before returning me to my back and using me again. Free was I of leather and metal; yet held helpless by his strength, and his laughter at my futile attempts at resistance smarted. In full heat was he in possession of me, and he laughed again as he used me.

“Your face shows you think yourself punished, Jalav,” said he to a much dismayed warrior, “yet such is not so. Now you receive your reward and upon completion of being rewarded, shall you be punished.”

I had no wish to know his meaning, though when he was well drained, his words became clear. Bested by him had I been, with neither leather nor metal to aid him, yet was I to be further reduced in my own eyes. He took me by the hair to where the leather had been left, bent me far over, and beat me with the leather across my hips and thighs. Painfully did the leather sting, but the pain was not a consideration. To be taken as I had been, then beaten in such a manner, showed the lowly position of her who was so used and beaten, and the superiority of him who held the leather. With my warriors within hailing distance was I treated as a slavewoman, as helpless as they to aid myself.

Ceralt beat me soundly, then was I stood straight again by the hair. “Take yourself to the post, slave,” said he, the leather in his hand, “and kneel there as your master orders.”

Numbly did I go to the post and kneel as bidden, the pain given me by Ceralt felt fully within me. The male nodded in approval at my actions, then stretched himself out in the fur at his ease, while I knelt and thought upon the wisdom of Mida.

Easily might it be seen that most males are superior in strength to females. I, myself, had been shown that, stripped of my sword, I was as helpless before a male as any slavewoman. Long had I wondered at Mida’s reasons for allowing her warriors none save an occasional sthuvad, yet no longer did I wonder. Were her warriors to remain warriors, they must face males in no way save as captors or with sword in hand. Shamed had I been by Ceralt, and bested by him, and my life was his to end. Such was Midanna law, and such was that which I had lived by, and now wished to die by. Mida would not wish the services of one such as I.

Telion returned not long after, with a tenth skin, and paused just within the silk to gaze upon me but I did not look up.

“My congratulations, Ceralt,” said he, moving closer to the hunter. “Our slave seems most proper now, and quite a bit subdued.”

“A woman need only be shown her master,” said Ceralt, his voice filled with satisfaction. “I wager she obeys in all things now, and is much the better for it. How went your investigations?”

“Most interestingly,” said Telion with a small laugh, seating himself beside Ceralt. “The lovely ladies travel to Ranistard, sponsored and protected by their fathers, and there shall suitable marriages be made for them. As few as are the females who remain in Ranistard by cause of the plague, they shall be welcomed by each man able to move, and offered one dowry after another. He who arranged for their fathers’ agreements shall be a man of wealth, with commissions from both father and groom due him.”

“We would have done well purchasing female slaves to the same End,” said Ceralt. “Do you know the man who arranged for the brides?”

Telion hesitated briefly, then answered, “No. He is not a warrior, I know, and I have never met him. However, we shall have little difficulty arranging an introduction or two among the ladies. I have let it be known that I have acquaintances in the Palace of the High Seat.”

“I shall not ask after those acquaintances,” laughed Ceralt. “I do not wish to press you on matters which should best be left unmentioned—if we are to meet the ladies. I shall enjoy the company of a lady again, even though it be here in the wilderness.”

“A lady is ever a lady,” agreed Telion. I heard the words they spoke, yet it made little sense. Much occupied was I with preparation for death.

In a short while, a slave brought a large portion of roast meat, and a cloth to set it upon. Ceralt and Telion began to feed, and I remained upon my knees, head down, admitting to Mida and those Midanna who came before me all my lacks and omissions. The burden of spilled blood unrevenged was, a heavy one, yet my soul would not have to face that of her who bore me—my soul would not enter the Realm of Mida. Heavy, heavy, heavy, was my despair at my failure, and nothing was left save the final cleansing. I then reached up and touched my life sign, stroking it a final time before removing it from about my neck and placing it upon the fur before me. Then was I truly readied.

Telion eventually rose from his place and approached me, and then crouched before me. “I would now see the obedience of our slave,” said he lightly, a grin upon his face. His hand rose before my lips, a bit of meat there held, and he said, “Eat as does the other, slave.”

I neither moved nor spoke.

“I seem to lack your facility, Ceralt,” said Telion ruefully, looking back at the hunter across his shoulder.

“It is easily done,” laughed Ceralt, also rising to join us. He took the meat from Telion, said, “Your master demands that you eat, slave,” and held the meat to my lips.

Naught save death might I accept from him who had bested me. It was the law.

“Not as easily done as you thought,” murmured Telion, his eyes narrowing as he inspected me. “Does she seem—different—to you, Ceralt?”

“Nonsense!” laughed Ceralt uneasily. “She merely sulks from her punishment! Here, slave, take the meat. I shall allow you to feed yourself this time.”

Oh, Mida! My greatest failure was to you! You saw me to the glory of winning the place of war leader, and I was not worthy of the position! How bitter must be your disappointment!

“There is something wrong!” insisted Telion, a frown upon his face, his eyes troubled. “She has—withdrawn from us! And the bit of wood! Where is the bit of wood?”

“Here,” answered Ceralt low, raising my life sign from the fur. “Jalav, speak to me,” said he, his voice concerned. “What has happened to make you act so?”

“She may not even hear you,” said Telion. “I do not know what ails her, but perhaps the other may tell us.”

He then rose to his feet and hurriedly left the tent, and I was left with him who had bested me. His hand moved to touch my face, his other hand a fist upon my life sign. I waited only for the touch of a blade.

Telion returned, Fayan and Nidisar with him, and the males came swiftly before me, yet Fayan saw clearly that my final farewell had been spoken. Unbound in leather was she, therefore was she able to halt three paces from me, a great sadness upon her, and sink to her knees so that her head might be bowed in memory.

Nidisar looked back to see that Fayan had not followed, therefore did he return to her side. “Fayan, what ails Jalav?” he asked softly, his hand upon her shoulder.

“Jalav awaits the final death,” said Fayan, her voice filled with grief, her head low. “She has removed her life sign so that her soul shall be unguarded when it leaves her, and therefore disappear forever! Nidisar, she does not wish to enter Mida’s Realm!”

“But, why?” demanded Nidisar, turning with pain-filled eyes to Telion and Ceralt. “What has been done to her?”

“What could be done to a girl child who has withstood thirty-five blows of the heavy lash?” asked Telion in a strangely cold voice, his eyes hard upon Ceralt where he crouched before me.

“It could not have been what I gave her!” said Ceralt, in dismay. “I merely removed the leather from her, used her, and punished her with the leather for attempting to take my sword! I have used her before—we both have!—and a hiding with the leather is fit for a true child! It could not have done this to her, not if Bariose’s lash did not!”

“The war leader Jalav awaits the death stroke from your hand, male,” said Fayan quietly, rising again to her feet. “Be merciful, and strike quickly!”

“You are mad, wench!” cried Ceralt, rising to his feet with incredulity as Telion and Nidisar exclaimed sharply. “I do not mean to slay her!”

“You must,” explained Fayan patiently. “You have bested her, and now must take her life.”

“Fayan, we do not understand,” said Nidisar. “Naught was done to Jalav that has not been done to you! Why does she await death when you do not?”

“Jalav is war leader,” said Fayan, her voice weary. “To free her and do as was done is to best her, and a war leader who is bested must be slain. It is the law of the Midanna. Her shame must truly be great, for her to wish her soul lost.” Fayan’s voice grew faint, and her eyes closed. “I, myself, await only the release of Mida to seek the cleansing of death. I thank Mida that I am only a warrior, for I have not the courage to remove my life sign.”

“They both await death!” shouted Ceralt in a high, wild voice, as Nidisar stared upon Fayan as though he had been struck. “I have had many women, and—Aye!—punished a few as well!—yet never has the female then expected me to slay her! A few tears, perhaps, a respectful fear of my wrath, yes, but—death?” Swiftly did he come to me then, and down upon his knees, so that his hands might bite harshly into my arms. “Jalav, I shall not slay you!” he rasped, shaking me as I knelt. “Do you hear? You were merely punished! There is no need for death!”

The light eyes in the dark face were touched by tragedy, though I knew not why. Is one to take the pride and heart of another, and then expect not to take the life as well? Is it possible to be so cruel, even for one without a soul?

“Fayan, you cannot truly wish death,” said Nidisar to my warrior, deep pain in his voice. “For a woman to be taken or punished by a man is no shame! It is the natural way of things!”

“For a warrior’s pride to be sullied is deep shame,” said Fayan. “Much pleasure have I found in Nidisar’s touch, yet have I also been much shamed by him. The shame I have accepted for Mida’s sake, but I may not carry it forever. Upon release by Mida, my blood shall wash away the stain upon my honor.”

“No!” cried Nidisar, throwing his arms about Fayan and crushing her to him, his face twisted with grief. “I shall not allow such a thing! It is barbaric!”

“As are they,” said Telion heavily, his face lined with strain. “They live amid heavy, dark leather, bound by cruel, unrelenting laws. Their lives are short, and perhaps that is a blessing.”

“This is insanity,” said Ceralt, “and we are fools for discussing it as if it were to be!” With a stern look he lifted my life sign from where he had dropped it in the fur, and slipped the leather over my head. “You are not to die, Jalav, nor is your soul to be lost,” he said. “I will have no more of this foolishness, else you shall find the leather taken to you again!”

My hand went to my life sign, to remove it once more, but Ceralt’s fist closed over my hand. I raised my eyes to his. “Is Ceralt without honor?” I asked quietly. “Surely, he will not refuse to take the burden of my life? A war leader who has been bested is naught, to force her to retain life is despicable. You have shamed me and bested me, Ceralt, now my life is yours to take.”

Again I attempted to lift my life sign from me, yet Ceralt’s hand was not to be moved. “Aye, Jalav, I have honor,” said he, soberly. “I amused myself at your expense, thinking to repay you for your treatment of me in the forest by taming your fire somewhat. I wished to see you call me master with tears in your eyes, and obey me for fear of a hiding. I did not wish you to yield up your life to me, yet now that you have, my honor forbids that I refuse it”

“It is well,” I smiled, pleased that he who had bested me did have honor. “Sword or dagger, the choice is yours.”

“The choice is indeed mine,” said Ceralt in annoyance, and still he did not allow the removal of my life sign. The other males looked upon us with concern as Ceralt lifted my hair through the leather tie of my life sign, so that it rested once more against my neck. “As your life is now mine,” said he, “you shall live it at my direction.”

Telion and Nidisar laughed with pleasure and relief, yet I looked to a bewildered Fayan, who also did not understand Ceralt’s words. My life was his to take, not keep!

“Ceralt, you misunderstand what I say,” I began. “By the laws of the Midanna, you must...”

“No!” he said angrily “I am not bound by the laws of the Midanna, for I am not of the Midanna! I have accepted your life, and shall see that you live it!”

“Such may not be done!” I protested in confusion. “When I became war leader, with my own hand did I slay her whom I had bested! You may not....”

“I may do as I wish!” he snapped, again standing erect to place his fists upon his hips. “Do you wish to challenge my authority?”

“I do not understand,” I said faintly, looking from one of the males to another. Nidisar stood beside Fayan, his hand upon her neck below her hair; his eyes sparkled with amusement. Telion crouched a short distance away, also amused. Ceralt himself stood tall and angry, his broad shoulders thrown back, his dark head high and proud, and to him I said again, “I do not understand. Am I to face you with sword?”

“No sword, wench,” snorted Ceralt, then did he bend to grasp my arms and lift me to my feet. “I see now that it was cruel of me to take amusement from you, for you are only a savage, and I shall not do so again. From this moment you shall be treated as no more than a captive, to be traded for my men. I shall do what I may to civilize you till then, but not again will you be shamed. Do you agree, Telion?”

“Completely,” said Telion, glancing up from where he crouched. “My injured pride has been avenged, and I would see my city safe. There is no need for your death, Jalav, and much reason to avoid it. Your Mida shall understand.”

“And I now understand certain things, too,” said Nidisar, gazing upon Fayan. “Come, captive, let us return to our pavilion.”

Fayan looked confused as he took her hand and gently led her from the tent, yet was her expression deep understanding when compared with mine. I knew not what these males were about, and knew not why honorable death was denied to me. In misery I stood within the tent, at the mercy of those with no souls and no honor.

“You seem weary, Jalav,” said Ceralt, brushing my hair from about my arm. “Do you wish to eat before you sleep?”

I shook my head, wishing only an end to my captivity by the living, and Ceralt took my arm gently and moved me closer to the post, where the chain was this time put about my left ankle. I sank to the fur, sitting and watching as he and Telion then moved about the tent, wrapping the meat, sharing the last of the renth, and lastly, extinguishing the candles. I waited for the males to lie beside me, demanding that I allow myself to be used, but that was not forthcoming. At a distance they lay themselves upon the fur, and soon were there sounds of sleep. This, least of all, did I understand, for had they not named me captive? Perhaps they did not wish to be near one who had been bested, and for this they could not be faulted. All alone, I lay down upon the fur by the post, to sleep as best I could.