The Chantry Guild

CHAPTER 15

"At any rate," said Amid a few minutes later, when they had started to eat from a number of dishes of vegetables, the contents of which, cooked and uncooked, were in large bowls on the table before them, with chopsticks laid out neatly at each seating place, "as Artur reminds me, it wasn't until perhaps three years before the Occupation began that Jathed moved the walking circle up here to the ledge and shortly after that, he died. Kanin was one of his disciples-" 'The Master's leading disciple'," said Artur. "Well, well, perhaps," said Amid. "Jathed didn't assign ranks to his followers. At any rate, Kanin, foreseeing something like the Occupation, moved everyone connected with the Guild - not just the walkers - up here and started building for permanent occupation of this place. Then, last year, he died...and I've already told you how I came to be with him - too late, and was asked to take over as Guildmaster." "The only possible choice-," began Artur, but Amid interrupted.

"Perhaps, as I say. But what you need to know, Hal, if you're going to stay here awhile, is that we're an open democracy in this place, everybody having a vote on everything and the majority ruling. In practice the Guildmaster has a veto over anything voted, but-" "In practice," put in Artur firmly, "no one would think of questioning the Guildmaster's veto, or an order by the Guildmaster." "Well, well. The point is, Hal, you'll be moving in as one of the members of the Guild. That means you'll have a vote, of course, but I'd suggest you wait until you understand this place better before you begin using it. You'll stay in one of the dormitory buildings, in the singles' quarters. There are rooms for couples here as well, but they're all full right now and we haven't had time to build more, that's why I suggested you use my office as your room for tonight." "Thank you," said Amanda. "We appreciate it." "Yes, indeed," said Hal. "The office would only be empty otherwise. I sleep here, nights." Amid made a dismissing gesture with his chopsticks. "Now, about the circle itself. Every Chantry Guild member, which means everyone on the ledge, has a chance to walk in it, in regular rotation. He or she can pass up the turn when it comes, if they want. Both Artur and myself have to, most of the time, because of the administrative work to be done. For the rest, it's a matter of each one waiting for his or her turn, then joining the small group of waiters beside the circle - did you see the group of those waiting their turn as you came in?"

Hal thought back. There had, indeed, been a handful of men and women on the far side of the circle of walkers, but he had thought they were simply people who had stopped for a moment to watch. "The rule as laid down by Jathed, you see," went on Amid, "is that once you begin to walk the circle you can keep walking as long as you wish. The circle goes twenty-four hours a day, every day of the year, so if it was physically possible, a single person could hold his or her place in it indefinitely. But in reality, exhaustion would eventually put an end to anything like that, and the truth is, even those walking normally seem to reach a point far short of exhaustion, at which they decide to step out and let someone replace them. I don't mean they stop as a matter of fair play or good manners, but simply because something in them feels it has accomplished, or absorbed, or whatever you want to call it - what it set out to do. As if a good day's work had been done and they were satisfied with what had been achieved after the time and effort expended."

"Can they tell you afterward what it was that made them decide to stop? What it was they'd accomplished?" Hal asked.

Amid glanced at him suddenly. "That's an interesting question," he answered. "No. They can't. But they'll tell you that they feel... completed. In fact, that's the way I've felt after walking." "I see," said Hal thoughtfully. "What this means," said Amid, "Is that while I can recommend your immediate access to the Guild members, you'll still have to go out there and join those standing by, and wait your turn when it comes. Unless someone ahead of you offers you his or her turn, and of course, this assumes that those in-between you and the one offering don't mind you going before them, too." "No one, I think, would object to Hal being given priority," said Artur. "In fact, even not knowing him, they wouldn't object if a fellow Guild member wanted to trade places backward." "Well, in theory they've got a perfect right to object, and I want Hal to understand that." "I do," said Hal. "In fact," said Amid, almost fiercely, "what you may actually find when you join the waiters is that they'll each offer you the chance to step ahead of them, so that you may be the first one to take the next opening in the circle. But that's up to them. They'd have to do that. I can't, in conscience, even recommend it." "I understand," said Hal. "Guildmaster, " said Artur, "I think you may be leaning over backward a little in all this. Hal should also be reminded that it would only be showing a proper appreciation to accept if anyone offers him a chance to move up." "Well, yes," answered Amid. "You're right of course. I'm sorry if I seemed to imply that you shouldn't accept if anyone offers, Hal." "You didn't," said Hal. "Good, then," said Amid. He turned to Amanda. "Amanda, you've hardly said a word. Now what, now that You've brought Hal here? Will you be staying, too? If so, there'll be a question of quarters. I'd gladly let you have my office for an indefinite number of nights, but sometimes we do need to work over there, when I've got a lot of our people doing some large project or other here, and in any case-" "In any case," said Amanda, "I'll he staying only a few days to see how it works out for Hal. Then I'll be getting back to my own work in the district below." "Whatever you want. Although," said Amid, "I'm oldfashioned enough not to like the idea of your teaching Exotics to physically fight for their rights." "Only if they ask for it," said Amanda. "You should have understood by this time that what I teach them mainly is survival - how to survive if hunted, how to survive under the noses of the garrison troops. Your Exotics are never going to rise and drive off these invaders. On the other hand their own culture, given a little help in some instances, arms them with ways to deflect trouble, avoid trouble or defend themselves, if trouble unfairly comes looking for them." "I'm relieved to hear that," said Amid. "As far as your staying temporarily, we won't be needing the office evenings and nights for several weeks, anyway, and in the case of your coming back for a few days unexpectedly, we can always work out something. But you haven't anything to say about what we're talking about? About Jathed and the history of our Chantry Guild here?" " I'm interested - but this is Hal's area, " said Amanda. "I'lI just go on listening, if you don't object." "Object? Certainly not. This isn't a place where people object to things. Also we're not discussing anything at all secret. "

Amid turned to Hal. "And since the subject of your area's come up," he said, "I ought to admit to you, Hal, that we've got a selfish motive for having you with us, particularly since Amanda can't stay. The Occupation Forces would wipe us out in a moment if they suspected we were here. We avoid their finding out as much as possible by having contact with only three people from Porphyry, who come up this way every so often on the excuse of gathering fruits or berries from the wild plants. But there's always a danger that something might cause the local garrison to investigate this area. It'll be a relief to us to have someone with some military training on hand, even though the chance of their hearing about us up here is remote. We'll sleep a little easier until you leave." "I'm afraid," said Hal, in a colder tone than he had intended, "you're under a misapprehension. Maybe Amanda could be some real help to you, but I'm no Dorsai."

He avoided Amanda's eyes directly as he said these last words but he was aware her gaze was on him. She said nothing. "Oh, you aren't, we all know that," said Amid swiftly, "but I understand you had a Dorsai as one of your tutors and you're a good deal closer to one than anyone else on the ledge here - except Amanda, of course. But if the soldiers find us and it comes to an actual conflict-" "Oh, that-" Hal shrugged. "Certainly, anything an individual can do, since I'm your guest. Of course."

He smiled a little, not happily. "It's a good thing you didn't ask me that a couple of years ago," he said. "At that time my answer would have been that I'd become a little like the rest of you, in that philosophically I'd moved away from the area of violence. But now I'm free to be useful to you up here in any way I can." "Ah," said Amid gently, "of course, you're entitled to live by your beliefs, just as much as the rest of us. If it'd be imposing on those-" "No!" said Hal, and was surprised by the sharpness of his own voice. More gently, he added, "it's perfectly all right. I'm at your disposal, body and mind." "We appreciate it," Amid answered.

Amanda still said nothing, and Hal thought he was aware of an aura of disapproval emanating from her silence. "Tell me more about Jathed," he said, to change the subject "Give Amid a chance to eat, Hal," Amanda spoke finally, "then you can ask all the questions you want." "No, no. That's quite all right. I eat very little," said Amid. "About Jathed - what specifically do you want to know about him?" "If you don't mind, Guildmaster," said Artur, "I've been sitting here just eating and listening, and I've pretty well finished. Why don't I answer while you eat? If there's anything important, you can always speak up. But you should eat." "I'll eat, I'll eat!" said Amid. "You'd think I was a prize goat the way they're always trying to stuff more food down me!"

"I'm sorry, Guildmaster. We do overdo it, of course-" "Never mind. I'll eat. You talk," said Amid. "But if there's anything I want to say, I'm not going to let a piece of fried root keep me from it. All right. I'm sorry. You're right. Talk. I'll eat. "

He began taking pieces of food from the various serving bowls and putting them on his plate. "If Jathed didn't believe in teaching, what did he do?" asked Hal. "Did he walk in the circle, himself?" "Not in the memory of anyone who became a disciple of his," said Artur. "Apparently he had for years, all those years he was alone in the jungle living like a hermit, because, as I may have mentioned, there was a rut - in fact, you might even want to call it a ditch - worn outside the hut he'd built for himself by the time he began to admit disciples. In fact, it was already so deep that they'd shortly have worn it down until they were walking around out of sight below ground level, if some of them hadn't started to fill it in surreptitiously when he wasn't around. He came and caught them at it once, but didn't object. So they filled it back up to ground level, and kept it that way. You could never tell, apparently, what he was going to approve of or object to." "But he, himself, had stopped walking by the time anyone began to live with him?" Hal asked. "He said he didn't need to, any longer. That the Law was in his mind all the time now - it had worn a rut there as well as in the ground. That was one of the questions he answered from someone, once, instead of simply shouting 'Stupid!' and chasing whoever it was off with his staff." "But what did he do, if he didn't teach and he didn't walk?" "In his later days," said Artur, "after he had acquired disciples, there were lots of times when he talked to them. I don't want to give the impression he was unreasonable all the time. In fact, most of the time he was pleasant, even witty, and perfectly willing to discuss things. The only problem was that if you made a mistake you got chased away for good." "Someone he ran off couldn't come back later?" Amanda asked.

Artur shook his head. "There weren't any warning shots, any second chances," he said. "Evidently if you asked the wrong question you were showing you didn't belong there, and out you went. Some of the people he chased away tried to form their own groups, but none of them got anywhere." "Jathed could be, and was," interrupted Amid suddenly, "not only informative but charming. It didn't take a question to get him talking. A bird, a falling leaf, anything or nothing at all, might bring a comment from him and he'd go from that into a sort of informal lecture. Theoretically, as Artur just told you, asking the wrong question got you thrown out, but his disciples noticed that during one of these informal lectures of his, questions were a lot safer to ask. Then, he seemed more willing to explain than at other times. Some of these 'lectures' were recorded by those there at the time - Jathed didn't seem to object to that, either, under those conditions... Artur, where's that control pad? I thought I had it on the table, right here, unless I knocked it off... "

He was searching around the end of the table. "I'll find it, Amid, " said Artur. "I think I saw it over by that chair you usually sit in."

He went back to where they had all been sitting around the fireplace, lifted a transparent glass paperweight, showing a small, green pine cone, about the size of a hen's egg, and took a control pad from underneath it to set it down by Amid. "Thank you," said Amid. "My memory's as good as it ever was, except for little things like this." "You work too hard, Guildmaster." "I do what has to be done-never mind that, now. Ah, I've got it! "

He had been fingering the pad. Suddenly a surprisingly resonant, pleasant, deep bass voice sounded in the room. "...different universe. My universe is not your universe. For example, in my universe I will now get up - watch me - walk across the room, up the wall and stand head down, talking to you as I am now. That's because in my universe it's possible for me or anyone else to do that."

There was a long moment of silence, finally broken by a somewhat timid-sounding, young male voice. "Jathed?" "Yes, Imher?

"Pardon me... but it seems to me... that is, you're still sitting in your chair. You talked about moving but you didn't move. "Of course not - in your universe. But in my universe, I did exactly what I said. You didn't see it because you're not in my universe, you're in your own. Make an effort and step into my universe, and you'll see me standing on the ceiling talking down to you."

There was another pause. "You can't do it?" said Jathed's voice. "Of course not. You don't believe in yourself enough to believe that you can enter someone else's universe. But there're people even on the inhabited worlds today, Imher, who have enough faith in themselves to step into someone else's universe. Faith and - yes, courage - which you also lack, all of you here. Am I correct that none of you see me standing on the ceiling at this moment?"

There was yet another pause. "Well, speak up, speak up!" A chorus that was very close to a shamefaced mutter of "no's" answered Jathed. "But I can! I can, just now. It just happened. Jathed, I can see YOU UP there.'' "Do you indeed, Imher? Very well, as reward for your faith and courage, you may come up and join me. Come on up." "Come up?'' "Wasn't that what I said?'' "Yes, Jathed."

There was a moment of absolutely soundless silence. "I... I made it." "LIAR! Out! Out! Out of my sight! Out of this place and never let any of us see you again! Go! Go!"

There was a thump, a scrabbling noise and the sound of shod feet running away. A door slammed.

There was a further lengthy moment of silence, then the voice of Jathed again, now a little breathless. "Intolerable! Outrageous! Now, where was I? Oh, yes, on the ceiling. I'll just go back up there... try to watch me this time and see me. Now, here I am again, hanging head down, though of course it's not head-down to me, all the rest of you are wrong-side up - ah, but what have we here? Someone who actually has courage and faith. Well, don't sit there on the edge of your chair, trembling! If you think you can do it, Reho, come up and join me." "Should l?'' said a different voice, doubtfully - female this time. "Of course I think - you can, numbskull! Would I invite you up if I didn't see - you were in my universe? Come at once!"

"All right... '' Silence again. "I'm here!" said the voice, full of wonder." Where did you expect to be? Now, for the benefit of all those below us who still lack faith and courage, to prove to them you're actually with me, reach back into your own universe and break the ceiling light just to your right, there."

A hesitation. Then the smashing and tinkling impact of light fragments on a hard surface. "Very good. We'll go back down now. That's right.'' "I... I'm afraid of heights. I didn't stop to think before I came... being upside down with nothing to hold me-'' "NOT IN MY UNIVERSE! You are not afraid of heights in my universe, Reho! Do you hear me?" "Yes, Jathed. '' "Good. Go down.''

Silence again. "Well?" said the voice of Jathed. "Now that Reho and I are back in our seats, none of you saw anything at all out of the ordinary - except the inexplicable breaking of the light unit, two meters above your heads?"

"No, Jathed, " said the chorus. "Well, you all have something to hope for, then. Each one of you pick up a fragment of that broken ceiling light and take it away with you to help you study. Ponder. Think. Do that success of your. and you, too, may one day become aware of own universe as distinct from others.- "Jathed?'' It was yet another female voice. " Yes, Katchen?"

"We didn't - I mean I didn't - see you go up the wall to the ceiling in your universe. But when Reho broke the light in her universe, we all saw it break. Why could we see something that happened in her universe but not in yours?" "Think. Answer your own question. Why? Think! Can't you think of the answer yourself?''

"No, Jathed.- "You didn't see Reho break the light in her universe - that's the answer!" "But... " "But what?" "But the light's broken. We can all see its parts on the floor there. We all saw it break.'' "Where?" "Where?'' "Don't parrot me. I said 'where?' Now you tell me - where did you see the light break?"

There was an extended silence. "You each saw it happen in your own universe, you idiots!'' snapped Jathed. "You didn't have the faith and courage to believe that I could walk up a wall and stand on the ceiling, in your universes. That's impossible. But you could believe that a light could be broken. Because lights break. That's poss-ee-ble! " He drew the last word out sarcastically. "When I, Jathed, told you that the light would be broken, so that you'd all have evidence Reho had been with me on the ceiling, THEN you believed! Numbskulls! Reho broke the light in her own universe, only. You - each of you - because for a moment you believed it was possible - broke it yourselves in your own universes, to make what I promised you actual."

He stopped talking. No one else said anything. "All right. Understand then, that you have a universe, that you can do with it what you will - look at the piece of broken light in your hand, those of you who've already picked a piece up - the rest of you pick one up and look at it. Think. You did that, without getting up from your chair, without even walking up a wall and standing on the ceiling! Do you understand now? Do you comprehend how your universe is a place where you can do anything you want, if you've got what's needed to do it, the faith, the courage - and the knowledge, which in this case is the knowledge that a light will break easily? If I'd said Reho would punch a hole in the ceiling, you might not have been as quick to believe and make it happen in your own universe."

"Would you turn it off?. " said Hal. "Well, do as I say, pick up -" The voice of Jathed broke off abruptly.

"That's curious," said Amid. "Why did you want the recording stopped, and stopped just there, Hal?" "Because he said something very interesting. As you just remarked." Hal smiled at the older man. "I'd like some time to think about it." "And what was it that was so interesting in particular, if I might ask?" Amid said. "What he said about everyone being in their own universe," said Hal. "Don't ask me why just now, if you don't mind. The only answer I could give you would be too long and complex and right now I'm not even sure it'd be satisfactory." "If you wish," said Amid. "This tape, and others of Jathed, are here any time you want to listen to them." "Thank you," said Hal. "Now, since dinner's over - for which, thank you - perhaps Amanda and I had better make our move over to that office of yours, for the use of which, also thanks. It's been a long day, all of it uphill." "I can imagine," said Amid. "Good night, then. It's very, very good to see you both. You particularly, Hal, since I hadn't been sure, until Amanda talked to me about bringing you, that I'd ever see you again after I'd left the Encyclopedia." "No meeting is ever impossible," said Hal. "True. Good night, then, as I say. Artur will show you where the office is, and make sure you're properly settled there. Won't you, Artur?" "Of course," said the big man.