Kip woke in a little blue room. Every surface was blue luxin, even the pallet where he was sleeping, though it had been softened with a heap of blankets. From the faint rocking motion, he realized he was on one of the blue barges.
And his back hurt like hell. In fact, most of his body hurt. His left hand was bandaged heavily and he could feel that a thick poultice had been spread all over it. His shoulders and both arms were bruised everywhere, he felt like someone had beaten both of his legs with a board, his head was throbbing, and he was sore pretty much any other place on his body he could think of. He wiggled a pinky toe. Yep, that was sore too.
And he was hungry. Unbelievable.
You're on a refugee ship, Kip. There ain't gonna be any food.
He tried to go back to sleep. That was the best thing for it. He'd feel better when he woke up. And they might catch some fish or something by then. He rolled over, and his lower back still hurt. What the-He shifted, and realized he was lying on something.
Reaching down to his waistband, his fingers brushed something. His eyes shot open. The knife. His inheritance. If it didn't hurt so bad, he would have laughed about it. Clearly, he'd been carried in here wrapped in blankets, and left. No one had even noticed. In an armada of ships with thousands of refugees and soldiers and maybe a hundred boats, with pirates and everything else to worry about, apparently Kip hadn't been the first thing on Gavin's mind. Well, what did I expect? They couldn't strip me and get me dry clothes-there are no dry clothes.
Kip rolled off the knife and sat up. He groaned. He really was sore. And hungry. But that didn't matter now.
A figure passed the door, and Kip hid the knife by his leg hurriedly.
Gavin poked his head in. "You're awake!" he said. "How do you feel?"
"Like an elephant sat on me," Kip said.
Gavin grinned and came and sat on the edge of Kip's pallet. "I heard you were trying to be Ironfist for a while out there. He's pretty steamed. He's supposed to be the one who saves my life, you know."
"He's mad?" Kip asked, worried.
Gavin sobered. "No, Kip. No one's mad at you. He won't admit it, but he's proud of you."
"He is?"
"And I am, too."
"I thought I was too late." Gavin was proud of him? His mind couldn't really register the thought. His mother had always been ashamed of him, and the Prism himself was proud? Kip blinked quickly, looked away. "You're really fine?" Kip asked.
Gavin smiled. "Never felt better," he said. "Oh, did you… did you know that boy? The assassin?"
Kip felt a lump in his throat. "He was one of the drafters who wiped out Rekton. Zymun was his name. He tried to kill me there. Did he get eaten?" Kip remembered the boy bleeding profusely, swimming toward all those sharks.
"I don't know," Gavin said. "My rule is, if you don't see an enemy dead with your own eyes, assume they're still alive." He grinned, almost grimly, at a private thought. "But," he said, shaking himself out of it, "I guess that explains this." He pulled out the rosewood box that had held Kip's dagger.
Gavin handed it to Kip. "It's empty," he said. "But I thought it looked like that box your mother tried to give you. Either your Zymun stole it from King Garadul, or this is a common style. Looks like it held a knife, but I guess that went into the waves. I'm sorry."
Kip wanted to rush to confess, but the knife was his. Gavin might take it away from him. Kip hadn't even gotten to see it yet, not really.
"Anyway," Gavin said, "you rest up. I've got work to do. I'll have someone send in some food to you, and we'll talk later. All right?" He got up, stopped at the door. "Thank you, Kip. You saved my life, son. Well done. I'm proud of you."
Son. Son! There was pride in Gavin's voice as he said it. Kip had made the Prism proud. It was like light bursting over hills to illuminate places in his soul that had never seen it.
The lump in his throat grew huge, his eyes filled with tears. Gavin turned to go. "Wait! Father, wait!"
Kip froze, as did Gavin, outlined in the door. The last time Kip had used the word he was being a snot, and things hadn't gone well.
And then it got worse, as Kip suddenly realized Gavin had meant "son" like "young man." Kip wished he could go jump back into the water for the sharks. "I'm so sorry," he said, "I didn't-"
"No!" Gavin cut him off with a hand. "Whatever else you did, you proved yourself a Guile today, Kip."
Kip licked his lips. "Did Karris… I saw her hit you. Was that because of me?"
Gavin laughed gently. "Kip, a woman is the mystery you'll never stop investigating."
Kip paused. "Is that a yes?"
"Karris hit me because I needed hitting."
That didn't really help.
"Get some sleep… son," Gavin said. He paused, as if he was tasting the word. "We're done with that 'nephew' nonsense. The world will know you're my son. And to hell with the consequences." A little reckless grin. And then he was gone.
Kip didn't sleep. He propped his back against one blue wall and pulled out the dagger. The blade was a dazzling strange white metal with a spiraling core of black threaded from point to hilt. There was little ornamentation except for seven clear, perfect diamonds on the hilt. Well, six diamonds and maybe a sapphire. Kip didn't really know his jewels, but six stones were clear as glass but brilliantly refractive. The seventh matched the others in size and clarity, but it glowed a brilliant, magical blue. Kip sheathed the dagger.
How did my mother get such a thing? How did she not pawn it for haze?
Kip opened the rosewood box to put the dagger away, and with his bandaged left hand he fumbled it, dropping it upside down in his lap. He turned it over and saw that the silk lining was loose, not attached to the box itself but to a frame that filled the box. He pulled on the frame, lifting it out. Underneath was a thin compartment that held extra laces that matched the color of the sheath to tie it to different sizes of belt. It wasn't a secret compartment, but obviously Zymun hadn't noticed it, nor had King Garadul, because there was a note there.
With trepidation, glancing at the door to make sure no one was passing, Kip read the note, written in his mother's hard, deliberate strokes: "Kip, go to the Chromeria and kill the man who raped me and took away everything I had. Don't listen to his lies. Swear you won't fail me. If you ever loved me, if you've ever wanted to do anything good in this world, use this dagger to kill your father. Kill Gavin Guile."
Kip felt locked up, paralyzed. Someone was lying to him, betraying him. Kip felt those deep, sucking pools of rage stirring. It had to be his mother. Addict. Whore. Liar. Kip's mother would lie for haze: she would abandon Kip in a closet. Gavin had been hard on him, but he'd never lied to him. He never would. Never. He was Kip's family. The first Kip had ever had.
But his mother had kept the dagger, and even the box. She could have sold either for a mountain of haze. She would have thought of them every time the madness of craving had been on her. If this was more important to her than haze, why would she lie?
Kip shivered, feeling like he was being ripped out of his moorings. He didn't know the truth. But he would. He swore it.
He folded the note and saw a quick scribble on the back he'd missed before, written looser and faster than the rest, but undeniably in his mother's hand: "I love you, Kip. I always have." She'd never said those words. Not once. Not in his whole life.
He threw the note away like it was a serpent. Pushed his face into the blankets so no one could hear. And bawled.