The Bitter Seed of Magic

Chapter Thirty-Three

Now? Meet his kid now? What if she didn’t like me? For all that Finn had said she was excited, she was Helen’s daughter, after all. And I had enough on my emotional plate just now. ‘I don’t know, Finn. I sort of feel like I’m standing on quicksand and with everything that’s going on, the ground keeps disappearing beneath me. I think I need a couple of days to get used to the idea.’

‘Okay, you just let me know when,’ he said, reaching out to give my arm a reassuring squeeze. Then he frowned. ‘So, want to tell me what’s been happening?’

I told him everything about Tavish, the Morrígan, my visit to Sucker Town (leaving out the gory details), the sad memories I kept picking up, Tavish having some sort of deal with Malik (mentioning Malik’s name brought a scowl to his face) and, lastly, about Jack the raven’s mysterious visit. ‘So I think it’s all to do with the curse, but I can’t work out what, and how it all fits together? Any ideas?’

He tapped the limo’s leather seat thoughtfully for a few moments, then clasped his hands together and gave me a frank look. ‘Clíona’s daughter and granddaughter, and Ana and the dreadful things that happened to them, they’re everything to do with the curse, Gen. And to be honest, yes, one of us probably should have told you before, but it’s not a story that any of us are proud of, especially after the dryads tried to do something similar to you. We need you to help us, and telling you about all the terrible things that we fae have done in the past to other sidhe isn’t the best way to make you feel sympathetic, is it?’

He’d got that spot-on.

‘As for the Morrígan and the memories she’s shown you … well, they seem to be relevant to Ana and her time with the vamps. It could be that this Maxim—or the other suckers—are a threat to Ana again, and the Morrígan is using you to make sure she is safe.’

‘Okay,’ I said, frowning, ‘but why would she do that?’

‘Guilt’s one reason. The Old Donn was the Morrígan’s son—’

‘He was her son?’ Damn, she’d lost her own son! No wonder she’d told me, ‘Losing a child is painful.’

‘Anyway,’ Finn carried on, ‘the way we heard it, Clíona imprisoned the Morrígan in retaliation for what he did to her daughter. It could be the Morrígan’s now trying to make amends by helping Ana through you, possibly because you’re the only one she can reach, or because of your connections with the suckers.’ He scowled again. ‘Or she could just have come to some arrangement with Clíona.’

‘So she’s got Tavish chained up just so she can talk to me?’ I asked, incredulous.

He laughed, but there wasn’t much mirth in the sound. ‘Don’t start feeling responsible, Gen. The Morrígan’s been after Tavish for years. If he’d so much as breathed in her direction she’d have nabbed him. It was him, with the help of the fossegrim, who killed the Old Donn and his pals.’

Tavish had killed the Morrígan’s son? Crap, he really was in trouble, and despite him being interfering and arrogant and over-protective, he was still my friend. He’d helped me when I needed it, and I wanted to do the same for him. If I could just work out how …

‘But surely if the Old Donn was in the wrong, the Morrígan can’t hold Tavish?’ I asked, hearing the worry in my voice.

‘Doesn’t stop her being upset that her son is dead or wanting revenge, does it?’ Finn said. ‘Look, Gen, Tavish is old and tricky enough to look after himself. Don’t forget he virtually killed three wylde fae on his own, the fossegrim’s not all there apparently. So Tavish will find a way out of whatever problem he’s in with the Morrígan sooner or later. I wouldn’t waste too much sleep over him, if I were you. And as for the rest, I haven’t a clue what the suckers are up to, other than it probably has to do with the usual: blood. Or who this Jack the raven is or what he’s after either.’ He reached out and took my hands, his fingers were warm and gentle. ‘I know you want to find another way to crack the curse, Gen, and that it’s a big step to take having a child, but—’ He stopped and rolled his shoulders like he was getting ready to deliver bad news. ‘I know all this info is new to you, and you want to believe that it means there is another way to crack the curse, but I don’t think anyone’s trying to tell you anything different here. I think it’s more that they’re all using you for their own ends.’

Of course, my own magical gag clause was still in effect, so I still couldn’t tell Finn about my visit to Disney Heaven. I pondered on how to convince him, and finally picked up the brown autopsy envelope and told him about all the missing faelings instead.

‘They do have something to do with the curse,’ I said firmly.

‘I believe you, but the police are dealing with it,’ he said, then frowned. ‘They’ve been questioning the herd, for some strange reason’—he shook his head in bewilderment, while The Mother’s gag clause stopped me telling him about the ‘clue’ I’d sent Hugh in my email—‘but whatever it’s about, it’s the coppers’ job to deal with it, not yours.’

Which was what Malik had said to me. But The Mother had told me to stop whoever was killing the faelings, and when it came down to it, I wasn’t going to piss off The Mother Goddess by ignoring her, and that meant no way was I going to leave the police to deal with it. I was going to do all I could to help them—or rather, Hugh, since Witch-bitch Helen wouldn’t have anything to do with me. I was still going to visit the ravens, and I’d do anything else it took. But it didn’t look like Finn was buying into that, and it was pointless arguing with him about it, not when I couldn’t use what The Mother had told me to convince him. I decided to change the subject to something I could tell him about.

Tavish’s handprint spell on my stomach.

‘Can you show me?’ he asked, frowning in concern.

‘Yep,’ I said, and undid my jeans, leaned back along the bench seat and managed to reveal most of the black handprint without losing too much modesty.

Finn’s green eyes filled with alarm and … anger. He moved closer and gently pushed up my top to uncover the mass of purple bruising. ‘You’ve been injured, Gen?’

‘Ah.’ I pulled a face. ‘I ran into a bit of a problem last night.’

‘A bit of a problem?’

‘You should see the other guy,’ I quipped, thinking that while Mad Max hadn’t personally injured me, he was ultimately responsible. I was pretty sure that despite being a vamp he looked worse than me right now. ‘Hey, and painkillers work wonders.’

‘What other guy?’ A muscle in Finn’s jaw twitched in anger. ‘It’s that sucker, isn’t it? Did he do this?’

So much for keeping things light. ‘No.’ I pulled my top down over my unzipped jeans. ‘He helped’—mostly—‘and I’m fine.’ I caught his hand. Time for a truth he didn’t want to hear—and one I hated to admit. ‘Finn, the vamps—Malik al-Khan, at any rate—they’re probably always going to be a part of my life. Whatever happens. I can’t change that, so it’s pointless getting all worked up over it, okay?’

He gave me a long, considering look, then pulled his hand from mine. ‘I’m sorry, Gen, but I’m not sure it is okay. I need to know what “being part of your life” means. I’m not prepared to share, so you need to know that. And if that’s not what you want, then there isn’t any future for us, curse or no curse.’

My heart stalled, then thumped fast in sudden fear. I swallowed, my hands curling against my thighs. Did he mean he’d walk away? I suddenly realised how much I didn’t want to lose him, both as a friend, or maybe more. ‘I don’t know what to tell you,’ I said, the words catching in my throat.

‘Are you sleeping with him?’

‘No.’ I paused, then a niggle of magic made me add, ‘Not in the way you mean.’

‘Gen—’

‘Finn,’ I said earnestly, ‘I can’t lie, you know that. I’m not even going to try and prevaricate, but if you want straight answers, you need to ask straight questions.’ I smoothed my suddenly sweaty hands down my thighs before I remembered I was wearing my velvet jeans. ‘I’m not having sexual intercourse with him, but yes, I did sleep in the same bed as him last night.’ Then I took a deep breath and explained how I’d freely given Malik my blood, and what sort of power it gave him over me: that even without the 3V disadvantage, if he wanted something, all he needed to do was order me and I couldn’t refuse.

Finn was staring out of the limo window by the time I finished. After a long silence where I glowered at the glossy wood of the limo’s bar (a couple of whorls in particular resembled a Rorschach of a dead bat, and I didn’t need a psychiatrist to tell me what that meant), he turned back to me and said flatly, ‘What if he didn’t order you? Would you want to have sexual intercourse with him then?’

Straight questions are so overrated. I made myself meet his eyes. ‘I don’t know, Finn. I’m attracted to him physically, but …’ He confuses me, he’s arrogant, I don’t trust him, I haven’t a clue what he wants, and part of me never wants to see him again, but— ‘It wouldn’t be something I’d choose, if I were already in a relationship.’

He blinked, then a slow smile appeared on his face. ‘Good.’

‘Good?’ I questioned.

‘Yeah.’ His smile widened, a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes. ‘Now how about I check out your new spell?’

Relief bubbled up inside me, making me light-headed. I gave him a cautious smile back. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ It sounded more like playing with fire to me. ‘What if the magic decides to take a hand in things?’

‘Up to you, Gen,’ he said, momentarily serious again. ‘But I want to know what spell Tavish and the Morrígan have tagged you with, even if you don’t.’

I did. ‘Okay, then yes.’

‘Here and now’s as good a place as any.’ He waved at the limo’s plush interior. ‘The car’s private, and after your little mind trick on your solicitor, we’re not likely to be disturbed.’

I checked my watch: there was still plenty of time before I was supposed to meet the ravens, and the limo was private. I narrowed my eyes at him in mock suspicion. ‘Just what sort of checking out did you have in mind, Mr Panos?’

A wicked glint lit his eyes. ‘I think the spell needs a thorough examination, don’t you, Ms Taylor?’

Oh boy.

‘If you’d like to take your jacket off, my lady, it’ll make the … examination easier.’

Air in the car suddenly seemed in short supply. I looked down at the long leather bench seat and back up at Finn. He raised his brows expectantly. I hesitated, then … Damn, I was tired of being sensible, and this was Finn, I trusted him, so what harm could it do? I lost the jacket and my boots and swung my legs up.

Leaning back I propped myself on my elbows and batted my eyelashes at him. ‘How’s this for easier?’ I said in my best husky voice.

‘Much better, but …’ He stripped out of his own jacket, and folded it inside out behind me. Holding his hands up, he waggled his fingers and flashed me a leering grin. ‘Why don’t you lie back, and let me work my sex-god magic on you, my lady?’

‘Your lines don’t get any better, do they?’ I teased.

He gently pushed me back and gave me a quelling look. ‘I think you’ll find you’ll appreciate my mouth a lot more’—he leaned down and nipped my earlobe hard enough to make me yelp—‘once I really get down to things, my lady.’

‘Promises, promises,’ I said, more breathlessly than I’d intended, then stifled the urge to turn my face into the jacket’s silky lining as his scent of warm berries and woodsy male enveloped me.

He knelt next to the seat and stroked a finger over my hip. ‘I like the velvet, Gen,’ he murmured, then his grin was back. ‘But the jeans are tight enough, that you’ll need to lift up and wriggle a bit.’ I stuck my tongue out at him and wriggled, sliding them all the way off, and the appreciative look on Finn’s face made me thankful I’d somehow managed to go for black and sexy underwear when I’d dressed. He plucked at the hem of my lacy silk top with another suggestive look. ‘Think this might get in the way, don’t you?’ One second later and I had it off and out the way, to another even more appreciative look. I lay back again, anticipation fizzing through my veins. He skimmed a teasing finger over the lace edge of my bra, and then down until he came to the spell. He traced its outline, and I gasped as he lowered and licked a lingering line across the handprint. A quiver fluttered in my stomach as he licked another hot line, trailing wet heat up my body to place butterfly kisses between my breasts. He raised his eyes to look up at me, his breath a warm weight along my skin.

‘Tell me what you’re feeling, Gen,’ he murmured.

Feeling? I was feeling … ? I frowned. Finn was getting all sex god with me, and yeah, he was hot, and yeah, I sort of wanted him—but there was something missing. Lying here half-naked, cocooned from the rest of the world, with the soft leather seat and the low purr of the luxury car rumbling beneath me … and Finn’s mouth on my flesh … I should be a shuddering mess of lust and hormones.

I wasn’t.

‘Hmm. Maybe not quite as turned on as I could be?’ I said ruefully.

‘I thought so,’ he murmured. ‘Let’s try this.’ He clasped my face and gently pressed his mouth to mine. As he kissed me his lips were everything I wanted: firm and warm and with a hint of demand, and when I slipped my tongue into his heated mouth, he tasted like sweet, ripe berries. His fingers slid under my hair to rest at my nape as he took the kiss deeper … and we kissed, and kissed, and the feel of his lips on mine, our tongues exploring each other’s mouths was enjoyable, and satisfying, and … not at all heart-stopping, not like the quick, hard, glorious kiss he’d given me before.

He pulled away. ‘Not quite the same as it’s been in the past, is it?’ he said with a wry look.

‘No.’ I pursed my lips. ‘I feel relaxed, and satisfied with just a kiss, almost as if we’ve already had sex … and now we’re enjoying the peaceful aftermath; but not quite.’ I slipped a button on his shirt, then pressed my hand over his heart, feeling its steady, unexcited thud beneath my palm, and saw his horns were still almost hidden by his hair. Definitely a sign he wasn’t feeling the sex-god vibes. ‘That’s how you feel too, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah.’ He cast a pensive look at the spell, then met my eyes. His were now dark and serious. ‘I think it’s some sort of Chastity spell.’

‘Chastity—? Fuck, that’s …’ Speechless, I glared down at the handprint branded on my stomach. I wasn’t some sort of mediaeval chattel, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to have anyone else decide my love-life for me, whether it was the Morrígan, Tavish, the magic or whoever, no matter what their reasons were. ‘Can you get rid of it?’

‘I can try, but it might hurt. Will you trust me, Gen?’

‘Yes,’ I said, not hesitating.

‘Thank you.’ He gave me a brief smile, then emerald chips lit in his eyes. He fitted his hand over the spell and I gasped as a sharp pulse of magic hooked deep in my belly. It didn’t hurt. It felt good, and I wanted more of it. The inside of the car sparked with green fireflies of magic—but as they dissipated, so did the good feeling.

‘Okay?’ he asked, a line creasing his brows.

‘Oh yeah.’ I gave him a breathless smile. ‘You can do that again whenever you want.’

His expression turned dark and knowing. He shifted his hand and a remnant of the good feeling echoed inside me. Another sharper pulse of magic hit my core, and I moaned as desire coiled tight inside me then flashed lightning-quick through my body. Green stars bloomed inside the car, and as they faded, the feeling faded with it. I sighed, part disappointment, part need.

‘Third time’s the charm, Gen,’ he murmured.

He took a deep breath, his chest expanding, and pressed his hand hard into my stomach and the spell. He thrust a larger, hotter ball of magic into me, and I screamed at the promise of ecstasy, my spine arching, my back lifting from the seat. Liquid warmth filled my body as green light blinded my vision. I collapsed back, panting, and reached out to fist my hand in the soft cotton of his shirt, my pulse jumping in my throat, wanting him—

—scorching fire ripped through my belly—

—and as I screamed again, this time in excruciating pain, I heard a deeper, agonised yell echo mine. I convulsed into a ball, desperate to make the pain stop. Hands grabbed my shoulders, burning like silver against my skin—

And I disappeared in a blaze of white-hot flames.