Sweet Reckoning

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE STRATEGIZING

Pharzuph had been gone ten minutes before I saw Kaidan’s headlights pull out of the darkened driveway. I followed, keeping distance between us. I wondered about Patti and Jay—where they’d gone and how they were. The image of Patti half possessed made everything churn inside me. I had made Jay swear that if he saw something like that happening again he would call me immediately. We may have been separated by states, but I would get there.

We’d been driving for half an hour. I watched Kai’s taillights in silence, and just as I began wondering where he was taking us, he exited for Lookout Point.

Wow. I had to shake my head. He was leading me to the very place his father had ordered him to take me two years ago to begin my “training.”

Two cars were parked at the top of the peak with space between them. The interiors were dark, but I was willing to bet they were occupied. Kai and I parked next to each other and we both got out and stood without speaking. The stars shone bright above us. Crickets serenaded from all around. Kaidan walked to my car and opened the back door, signaling me to get in. I came around the car and stood as he held the door open, giving me a look.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, half teasingly.

His face was serious. “We’re going to talk strategy.”

I bit my bottom lip and tried to look equally serious. “It’s a little snug back there for strategizing,” I warned.

When he still didn’t smile or take the opportunity to make one of his infamous innuendoes, I ducked into the car and he followed. I turned to face him and we stared at each other for a long time. Our circumstances were dire, and his mood reflected it.

“So,” I said quietly. “Am I your prisoner now?”

My words did not have the desired effect. His face only tightened, so I reached up to push hair from his eyes.

“Kai . . .”

“We don’t have to do this.” He spoke with sudden urgency. “You can stay hidden, like Zania.”

My heart broke to see his fear for me and hear it in his voice. As much as I wished I could ease his mind, there was no escaping the truth of our situation.

“I can’t hide forever. And what would that mean for you? Your father will expect you to be working. Marissa will be calling you.”

He gave a light shudder. “I’ll go into hiding with you.”

“That’s no way to live.”

“Are you truly not afraid?” He searched my eyes. “At all?”

“Of course I am,” I admitted. “Mostly because I don’t know how it’ll go down. I don’t know how to face the Dukes. But the chain of events has started, and we can’t stop it.”

“We can try.” In the moonlight his eyes shone with the passion of his words.

I shook my head, feeling torn. I was scared, and I didn’t know if I was ready for this monumental, mysterious task, but I needed Kaidan’s support in order to come to a sense of peace about it.

His voice was hard. Adamant. “I finally have you, Anna.”

“And every second we’ve had together is a blessing I never thought we’d get.”

I ran my hands across his strong shoulders and dug my fingers in a little. Nothing I said was helping. I didn’t have the words to take away his anxieties. Or mine. So instead I kissed him.

My hands grasped the back of his neck, moving up through his hair as his mouth worked mine with a dizzying desperation.

He groaned a masculine sound against my mouth and said, “God, Anna.” But there was so much more than lust in those words. The despairing grip of his hands on me said it all.

I could only whimper in response, causing his arms to tighten around me.

“What will I do?” He sounded in pain. “I can’t lose you.”

“Stop thinking that way. I can’t fight them if you’re not on board, Kai.”

He looked at me, his forehead creased. I knew he was feeling selfish, wanting to keep me and keep our bubble of joy as long as we could, knowing it couldn’t last. I knew he wanted to support me, and that he would when it came down to it. But right now he couldn’t own it.

I tugged his face to mine and spoke against his lips. “You haven’t lost me, Kai. I’m right here with you. Hold me.”

He buried his face in my neck and did just as I asked, pulling me close and not letting go.

That night we cuddled in the backseat under a blanket—Kai leaning against the door and my back against his chest. His arms moved around my waist and I linked our fingers. The other cars eventually left. We stared out at the stars for a long time, both lost in thought.

I whispered, “The first time I came to Lookout Point—”

His fingers tightened around mine, almost painfully.

“Not with a guy!” I clarified, wanting to laugh as his grip loosened. “It was the day I got the postcard from you after the summit.” Again I felt his whole body tense, maybe with guilt about how things had played out back then. I kept going. “I knew I had to let you go, and I knew there was something bigger coming.” I turned, angling myself enough to look into his haunted eyes. “I never thought we’d get this time together. We’re so lucky.”

I unclasped one of our hands so I could reach up and stroke his face. He closed his eyes, the troubled tension never leaving his features.

“Kaidan, if anything happens to me—”

His eyes flew open and he yanked me closer. “Don’t. Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

I swallowed hard. We both knew that might not be the case.

His eyes seemed to burn in the reflected moonlight, impassioned.

“If we both, you know, end up down there . . .” I cleared my throat. “In hell. We can make it through together. We’ll keep each other strong until it’s time for our judgment.”

He said nothing, and from the corner of my eye I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

“I’ll never leave your side,” he whispered. “I swear it.”

I sighed, and snuggled down against his chest. In his arms I felt secure and stronger as the threads of our love twined together like a sturdy rope for us to hold tight to.

May we never let go.

A shift of the light woke me hours later and I opened my eyes to the rays of a pink-tinged sunrise. We were scrunched in the seat, half sitting, half lying. My heart softened at the sight of Kaidan’s sweet sleeping face with long waves of hair lying against his skin. He appeared gentle and innocent. At peace.

We must have both been exhausted last night. I couldn’t recall falling asleep, but now a spike of fear pierced me at the thought of being seen together like this. I hated to wake Kai, but when I tried to sit up he sucked in a ragged breath and jolted upward, pulling me to his chest and searching around us.

“It’s okay,” I said.

He let out the breath and leaned back.

“We shouldn’t have slept like that last night,” I said, reaching into my purse for a mint.

“Yeah.” He cracked his neck, which probably had a kink from how he’d slept. “Not our best idea.”

“They could have caught us.” What were we thinking? Whisperers were out hunting for me, and we fell asleep snuggling in public? How stupid!

Kaidan’s face hardened and he stared out of the window, giving a shrug. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I mimicked his shrug.

“You’re intent on being turned in anyhow.”

“Yes, but on our terms. And I’m the only one getting turned in, not you. They have to trust you.”

He continued to stare out at the great expanse past the cliff’s edge. I knew he didn’t like the idea of me being in danger “alone,” and he hated pretending to be against me, but he was more valuable as an ally if Pharzuph trusted him.

I reached for his knee, needing to comfort him and make him see the importance of his role, but he shifted and my hand landed inside his thigh. I pulled away, but it was too late. His red badge expanded then snapped back to its normal size and began to throb. His head lowered and his blazing blue eyes rose to mine.

“Maybe we should take a break from talking,” he said in a low voice.

The breath I’d been inhaling got stuck.

Bad, bad, dangerous boy.

“We can’t.” I tried to sound strong, but then he licked his bottom lip and flicked his hair aside, and a burst of citrusy pheromones filled the car. My eyes fluttered a little, and I cursed my weakness for him. “Kai, don’t. We seriously can’t be caught in any compromising . . . you know . . .”

“Positions?” He sported a devilish half grin.

Yeah. That.

His hot hand reached for my hip, but I pushed the car door open and jumped out. The air was warm outside and already muggy, but when I felt him come up behind me I shivered with desire. I spun to face him, stepping back.

He looked half amused and half lusty as he lifted his palms in question. “You’re running from me?”

Glad he could find humor in it.

“If you keep being all hot like that, then yes. It’s not safe.”

“To be hot?”

“To do it.” I crossed my arms.

Kaidan’s lips quirked upward. “Do what?”

“Be serious, Kai.”

He stepped toward me again and I stepped farther back, running into his rental car.

“No more sex,” I said in a rush.

A look of astonishment crossed his face.

“Just until after the summit,” I added quickly.

All amusement vanished at the mention of the summit. Kaidan’s face once again turned hard as he stared at me.

“Kaidan . . . ,” I whispered.

He continued to stare, the mask in place to hide all emotions from me. I hated that mask. I wanted to yank it off and throw it over the cliff. I went to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. He made no move to touch me back. I lowered my hands down his arms and took his hands. When I spoke, I kept my tone gentle, but firm.

“You have to pretend not to like me. It sucks, but it’s the smartest plan. If we’re both going to survive this, which I really think we can, and will, this is our best bet. You’re better at hiding your feelings than I am, but at this point it doesn’t matter if they think I have feelings for you. You can even say you made me fall for you to lure me in. Your father trusts you to find me and get me to the summit on your own. That’s huge. He has to think you’re in his pocket until the very last minute. We’ll have freedom to communicate with each other and warn the others. Do you really want to jeopardize one of the only things we have going for us?”

He closed his eyes and squeezed my hands. When he opened his eyes the mask slipped away.

“No, I don’t. I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ll do whatever I have to do. Or not do.”

I let out a relieved breath, trying to push back the waves of emotion. “Thank you. So, from here on out, no kissing, no holding hands or touching until this is all over. No doing anything that could be suspicious.”

He nodded, lips pursed, and let my hands go. I felt an immediate loss. I missed him already.