Super Sales on Super Heroes: Book 2

Chapter 8 - No Brakes -

Felix watched as the projector screen slid down from the ceiling.

One of Lily’s analysts turned off the lights as another one turned on the projector. A power-point presentation popped on an introductory slide.

“You know,” Felix said. “I’m not sure I actually meant to make a deck, but I’m impressed at the same time.”

Lily snorted and didn’t bother to look his way.

“Start when you’re ready, Jim,” she said. “Felix is just being ornery today.”

“Of course, right away,” said the man at the end of the table.

Murdering his stray thoughts, Felix took a quick look around the room. Miu, Andrea, Victoria, Kit, Lily, and two of her analysts were the audience. Though Andrea was working on her pad with a stylus, and clearly not paying attention.

Probably sorting my mail again.

Leaning over, he took a peek at what she was doing.

She was using a virtual coloring book.

I… didn’t I increase her intelligence? Repeatedly? Does she just enjoy coloring?

“—is a mock-up of the finished campus,” said the analyst.

Felix immediately pinned his attention on the screen. It wouldn’t do to miss this, especially since he was the one who’d asked for the information dump.

“Yeah, I appreciate that, but to be honest, I’d like to move on to the parts that we’re getting pushback on,” Felix said.

It wasn’t that the representation was bad, or even poorly thought out, he just didn’t care.

“That is, I… of course, sir, I’m sorry, sir,” Jim said. Holding up the control in both hands the analyst began flipping forward through the slides.

Slide after slide went by with depictions of the grounds. The areas around it. Expanding the campus into more of the surrounding territory.

Projections for land value and expected changes flashed by on graphs.

“Hm. My compliments to the reporting team. That’s quite a lot of data for only a day’s time to prepare,” Felix said, shifting in his chair.

Jim bobbed his head, though he didn’t change his attention from the slides.

Some twenty slides later he stopped.

On the screen was listed a set of bullet points with the title of “challenges.”

Ugh. Calling it challenges, opportunities, or whatever else it might be, is still calling it a problem. Just changing the damn word. Stupid fluffy corporate self-help crap.

“Ok, so these are our problems,” Felix said, emphasizing the word. “Walk me through them, and as you do, tell me what we’re currently doing to solve them.”

“Of course, sir. Ah… first is residency. The city put in a requirement that any business or corporation that wants to own land to the degree that we do, with the expressed purposes of education, must have a residency in the state,” Jim said.

“That’s odd. I mean, the simple fact that we’d be buying a building should grant residence. Did they put this in recently?” Felix asked, leaning forward.

“Yes sir, almost as soon as they realized that we were buying in. As for solving it, we simply bought existing businesses that have had a long history of ownership and residence. It’s enough of a loophole that they can’t reasonably close it without us being able to get litigious,” Jim said.

“In other words, we could hit them with a lawsuit saying they’re discriminating against us directly. Good. Next?”

“They’re having teams of surveyors and engineers going through the entire grounds and fining us for everything they can think of. We’re just paying the fine and having the work completed as quickly as possible,” Jim said.

“Well, that’s a good short-term solution, but I feel like it invites problems down the road,” Felix said. “How do we get them to stop it in the future?”

“I’m working that one, Felix,” Lily said. “I’ve demanded that they show me the protocol for this amount of scrutiny. I’ve also requested all the documentation around it to show me where it’s been utilized on other companies. It’s likely that it’ll take a week or two, but we should see it lessen.”

“Great. Next?” Felix asked.

“Uhm. Yes, next. Next we have the guild itself. They’re trying to push a law through that will grant them the ability to inspect the facilities at any time so long as they have probable cause. Unfortunately, we’re fairly certain that they’ll use it more as a way to disrupt operations,” Jim said. “We’re pushing the details of the law out to the press. Through a leak of course.”

Felix nodded his head at that.

That’ll get the entire country up and moving about in a butt-hurt sort of way.

“Alright. So far everything you’re describing doesn’t seem like issues to me. What’s preventing us from launching the campus tomorrow?” Felix asked directly.

“Ah… yes… that is…” Jim said. After his pause went on for a second longer his eyes latched onto Lily, as if seeking rescue.

The soul-drinking lawyer looked at Felix.

“There really isn’t a problem. The real issue is that the company we used to leverage the purchase and the mortgage is dragging their feet. They’re waiting for the very last minute of each deadline to process it. All within legal limits but… it costs us. The delays are starting to mount and we’re probably behind schedule by a week already.”

Felix shook his head and then pointed at the two analysts. “Turn on the lights, and please exit the room. Thank you for your time. It was a good presentation, I’m afraid I’m just not the right audience for it today.”

That shook up everyone in the room.

Even Andrea put her pad away and stopped fooling around.

When the door closed, Felix folded his hands on his desk.

“Do we know who the processor is for the purchase?” Felix asked. “The actual person, not the company.”

“Yes, of course,” Lily said.

“And the mortgage, too?”

“Yes.”

“Great. Miu?”

“Yes?” asked the security guard turned assassin.

“Slip in, and have a discussion with them both. Take one of the Fixers with you. See what the hold up is. If it’s them, kill them. If it’s their bosses, kill their bosses. Accidents only. Have the Fixer pop a blood vessel in their head, get creative, don’t be repetitive. I hear accidents are going around these days,” Felix said in a deadpan voice.

Fixers were a recent creation of his and part of the HR team.

Where Telemedics were there to help people and get them away, the HR Fixer was there to fix memories. Or simply end people with a minor expulsion of telekinetic energy. Fixing a situation either way.

“Ah…” Miu said softly.

“If you do it perfectly, I’ll let you drop the control for a few hours in a public setting and I’ll even take responsibility for it,” Felix promised.

Carrot goes so much further. Even with the crazies.

Kit squirmed in her chair, and Miu sat up straighter, her eyes fixating on him.

“I’ll make sure it goes off perfectly,” she promised, a hint of zealotry in her tone.

Eva wouldn’t much care for this… and to think she won’t get it out of someone’s head is infantile.

“Kit… if Miu ends up taking care of this problem, let’s see if we can’t make sure their families are taken care of. Actually, Miu, amend that order a bit. See if they’re willing to be bought. Offer them jobs, bribes, whatever,” Felix said uncomfortably.

“I’ll make sure that a death is the last possible action,” Miu promised.

“Thanks,” Felix said, shaking his head. “Anyone else being a problem?”

“The education board doesn’t much care for our presentations. Any school we’ve visited has gotten us a twenty to fifty percent attendance to application,” Kit said. “Give it two years in our system and you’ll have triple the workforce today.”

“Goodie. A bunch of kids who grew up without knowing what the world was like before the Internet all working for me,” Felix grumped, feeling like an old man. “Whatever. Can’t fault them for being born, but can we at least do some head-scans to make sure we’re only getting people we actually want?”

Kit laughed and gave her head a shake. “I assumed you’d be that way. We’re already doing it. Of the applicants we’ve received, only about seventy percent are being admitted.”

“Though I did force them to admit a few spies. I’d like to keep track of them,” Lily said.

“Oh? Good. Get a Fixer assigned to each one as a counselor. Any shape shifters in the lot? Or more specifically, any non-minors?” Felix asked.

“One or two,” Lily admitted.

“Have the Fixers take their memories after they sign on, ship ’em to Skippercity. They can join the main workforce and vanish. That agreement was designed for minors,” Felix said dismissively. “Anything else?” he asked.

Andrea leaned over next to him, practically pressing her mouth into his ear. “You promised to upgrade Felicia and Ioana a few times already,” she whispered loudly in the way only she could.

“Felicia and Ioana… yeah, that’s a good point. I’ll set up some time with them later and take care of it. Ioana will just want something combat related I’m sure. Felicia… I have no idea. What do you give to a woman who can make whatever she wants?”

“The ability to make more things!” Andrea said, lifting her arms above her head. “And I’ll book your meetings for you. It’s my job.”

Not… a bad idea.

“If there isn’t anything else then, I’ll cut this one to a close and we can go about our business. That business being, how do we get inside of that damn guild and find out why they want Kit so bad,” Felix said.

“Can you make Miu stop killing my Others?” Andrea asked. “It’s not that big a deal since I don’t have to absorb their memories anymore, but the constant change of clothes and cleaning up the mess is getting tiring.”

Uh… what?

Felix looked to Miu who started to tremble slightly, her lips twitching in what looked like it might be a smile.

“It doesn’t harm her. I asked her many questions to make sure. So long as it isn’t Prime, it does her no harm at all. I asked,” Miu said, staring back at him. She nodded her head as she spoke, her control clearly starting to slip little by little.

Andrea nodded her head, then frowned, looking at Miu. “Why do you keep killing me by the way? I never asked.”

Miu’s grin tightened up and it was clear she was fighting herself.

“Nevermind, Andrea, I doubt you’d understand it,” Felix said shaking his head. “Even I barely do.”

Felix felt a headache growing. He felt like calling it Miu, but he wasn’t sure it was entirely her fault.

Closing his eyes, he rubbed at the bridge of his nose with a thumb and forefinger.

“Someone schedule me a meeting with the governor while we’re at it. I should probably have a chat with him,” Felix said.

“I assumed you might want something like that,” Kit said. “You already have an appointment for him later today. I’ve made Lauren and one of my people available to go with you as well.”

“Goodie,” Felix said blandly. “I do so love meetings with politicians. I wonder what I’ll have to promise or bribe him with.”

The next several hours were more of the same. Details, reports, work-ups on people or departments, and generally feeling out where everything was in Legion.

By and large, it was on track. The pawnshops were going in without a problem. Most of the competition was packing up and leaving, or selling their premises over to Legion directly.

It made the whole thing rather pleasant, since they didn’t even have to get into undercutting or aggressively buying things.

Thinking on that did remind him of those pawnshops back in Skippercity though.

Did we ever figure out who was running them? I mean, I know it led to the Hero guild but… we never found any links other than the paper trail.

Which seems just odd.

Very odd.

“—e from there. I don’t think it should be too bad,” Lauren said from the front passenger seat.

“Oh?” Felix said. He hadn’t heard a word she’d said really. He didn’t care much either.

Right now he was wedged in the backseat between Andrea, who was alternating between touching him, and playing online tic-tac-toe with some of her others, and Victoria.

Who had wedged her elbow into his side and seemed ready to hurl him out a window at any given moment.

He wasn’t really sure if she was protecting him, threatening him, or annoying him.

Maybe all three.

“—ot listening,” Victoria said.

“What? Why?” Lauren asked from the front seat.

“Don’t know. Sometimes he gets like that. See, he’s listening now,” Victoria said, grinding her elbow into his side.

“Yeah, so, I didn’t think being between two women would be so unpleasant. Mind pulling that sword you call an elbow out of my kidney? Last time I peed blood I was still in Felicia’s machine,” Felix grumbled, pushing at Victoria’s arm ineffectively.

“But, we tried it with some Others and—” Andrea started.

Felix laughed with a hint of insanity to it and pressed a hand to Andrea’s mouth.

“We talked about this, remember?” Felix asked, staring into her eyes.

Andrea nodded her head slowly, then held up her tablet for him to see.

On it, an Other was excitedly chattering on about something he couldn’t hear.

“I don’t understand?” Felix said, releasing her mouth.

“It’s my turn. You were making me waste time,” she said, wrinkling her nose at him.

“Yes… I see,” Felix said, settling back into his seat.

My life is insane.

“We’re there,” Lauren said as the car stopped.

“I’ll wait here!” shouted chauffeur Andrea from the front. “Maybe I’ll have time to get out the portable grill in the back and make pancakes. Pancakes for dinner would be great.”

“Pancakes!” shouted Andrea next to him.

“Pancakes!” silently replied the Other on the tablet, holding her arms above her head.

“We… have a grill in the tr—no, nevermind. Vicky, get the door open. I don’t want to be in here anymore,” Felix said, turning and putting his hands on her back.

“Vicky?” she asked, opening the door and stepping out.

“It’s what everyone else calls you, why do I have to stick with Victoria,” Felix said. Rather than letting her close the door on him, he put his hands on her rear end and shoved, moving her forward.

“Wait, I haven’t—”

“Don’t care, done now,” Felix said, stepping out of the car.

Spurred on by his actions, eight Andreas appeared out of the other sedans in the convoy and fanned out around him.

With his patience splintering rapidly, and the headache from earlier getting worse, Felix nearly jogged to the front door of the city government building.

“Felix, stop,” Victoria demanded, shoving him out of the way. Grabbing the door handle she opened the door and entered. Two Andreas flanked him and kept him outside even as he tried to follow her in.

“Calm, calm, love,” the Andrea on his left whispered.

“Let us do what you asked us to,” the Andrea on his right said.

Felix forcibly made himself relax.

They were right.

They were all right.

He was behaving like a child because his frustration was getting the better of him.

“Yeah… yeah. Sorry. You’re right,” Felix said pressing a hand to his temple.

“Don’t worry, Lily has a plan for your date tonight with her. I’m sure she’ll make it all better,” left-Andrea said, patting his back.

“Yes!” right-Andrea said cheerfully. “She even asked us questions about how you spend your nights with us.”

Headache… getting worse.

“It’s clear, and the receptionist said he’s already ready to see you,” Victoria said, holding the door halfway open.

“Great! Good! Let’s go before I put my head through a wall just to see if it hurts less,” Felix said.

“It doesn’t,” left-Andrea said.

“We’ve had our head smashed many times,” right-Andrea said.

Is… is that it? Are her concussions cumulative? Something to check later.

Thankfully Victoria was right, and they were whisked right on through the lobby and into an office.

A short fat man with a red face sat behind a desk.

His hair, what little he had, was overly-worked with hairspray, and his eyes were a pale watery blue. He had to be in his late forties, but he didn’t look too roughly worn. At the front of the desk was a name placard that read Nicholas Callas.

Yeah, I’d call him ass. Felix immediately thought to himself. There was a definitely and clear ass like quality to the man.

“Ah, Mr. Campbell,” said Nicholas as he stood up and came around the desk. “I’m Mr. Callas, you can call me Nicholas.”

“Felix will do,” said Felix, shaking the man’s hand.

It was a weak wristed thing that felt more like a half dead fish.

Hiding his displeasure, Felix smiled instead and let the man’s weak handshake go.

“Your people set up this appointment but didn’t seem to want to discuss what it was about, other than your company’s move here,” Nicholas said, moving back around his desk to sit in his chair.

“Yeah… that’s kind of what it’s about. Vicky?” Felix asked, turning to address the swordswoman.

“Clear,” she replied.

“Andrea?” Felix asked, moving his focus.

One of the Andreas fished something out of an inner coat pocket and laid it down on the desk. A second one moved over to the computer sitting on Nicholas’s desk and pushed a thumb drive into the rear of it.

“What are you doing?” asked Nicholas.

“Just securing the room,” Felix said calmingly, taking a seat in one of the chairs facing the desk. “Can’t have people listening in now, can we?”

A third Andrea walked over to the only window, and placed a small object against it that was no bigger than the thumb drive they’d used earlier.

The first Andrea turned her head and spoke into a microphone, too softly for even Felix to hear it.

After she apparently got a response, she turned her face back to Felix.

“All secured. Neutralizer has the surrounding area locked down,” she said.

Definitely a worthwhile recruit. Memo to me, thank Lily.

Lauren and the HR rep he didn’t know the name of took the other two chairs around Felix.

“That’s better,” Felix said, looking to Nicholas. “So… you’re making problems for me. I’m tired of it. I’ll make this simple.”

Nicholas looked scared now.

Whatever he was expecting, this wasn’t it.

“Get on the train, or get the fuck out of the way. This thing has no brakes, and I’m going to run it right up your fat ass and across your back,” Felix said. He rested his ankle on his knee and leaned to one side in his chair. He propped his chin on his fist.

“So it’s your choice. You can get on board, and I’ll give you whatever it is you want from me for that cooperation, or I have your memory of this wiped clean. And have my Fixer here give you an aneurysm in a day or three. Then I ask the next governor the same question.

“You’re not the end all, be all, you know. You’re an elected official,” Felix said with a grim smile. “Eventually I’ll find one of you I can buy.”