Squirrelflight's Hope

CHAPTER 25

Squirrelflight tore another piece of flesh from the rabbit carcass. It was so sweet that she closed her eyes for a moment to savor the taste, her fur prickling along her spine. A light breeze swirled around the sandy ravine where Firestar had brought them, an echo of the ravine where ThunderClan had made their camp in the forest before the Great Journey.

Dandelionkit and Juniperkit were playing moss-ball nearby with Larksong, Flickerkit, and Briarlight, while Leafpool and Hollyleaf lay happily beside Squirrelflight, paws outstretched, eyes closed, in a pool of sunshine. Firestar and Sandstorm were sharing a squirrel near the fern wall. The scents and sounds of the ravine were so familiar that Squirrelflight suddenly felt as though nothing had changed since she was a kit.

Dustpelt sat beside her, his tail flicking contentedly. He gazed around the ravine. “Do you remember the old camp?”

“Of course.” Squirrelflight purred.

Leafpool lifted her head. “That’s where we stood after we were given our apprentice names.” Leafpool nodded to the edge of the clearing.

Squirrelflight remembered. “We were waiting for Dustpelt and Cinderpelt to take us into the forest for the first time.”

“You were always so impatient.” Dustpelt’s gaze flashed teasingly at Squirrelflight. “But you were a quick learner.”

“I had to be!” Affection for her old mentor warmed Squirrelflight’s heart. “You had so much to teach me.”

Cinderpelt lay a tail-length away, sharing a squirrel with Longtail and Mousefur. She looked up from her meal. “Leafpool was always patient,” she mewed fondly. “Especially with the elders. She could listen to them complain for moons.”

Mousefur pricked her ears. “I hope you don’t mean me,” she mewed sharply.

Squirrelflight saw Cinderpelt and Leafpool swap a knowing glance. She blinked innocently at Mousefur. “Of course she didn’t. You never complained.” As she spoke, Squirrelflight noticed a gap in the ferns at the far end of the clearing. “Look, Leafpool.” She nodded toward it. “That’s where we used to sneak out of camp and go exploring.”

Leafpool purred. “We’d pretend we were fetching mouse bile from the medicine den and slip out when no cat was watching.”

Dustpelt’s eyes widened. “That’s why I could never find you.”

On the other side of the clearing, Ashfur got to his paws. He signaled to Dustpelt with his tail. “Do you want to come hunting?” he called. “I’m meeting Whitestorm by the river.”

“Sure.” Dustpelt acknowledged the gray warrior with a nod. “I’d better go. Whitestorm will be waiting.” Dustpelt dipped his head. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

Will you? Squirrelflight shifted uneasily. However nice it was to hang out with her old Clanmates, she wanted to be back with the living. She watched as Dustpelt met Ashfur at the entrance. “Isn’t it weird having Ashfur around?” she asked Hollyleaf.

“Not really.” Hollyleaf licked a paw absently. “After a while, what happened in the forest seems less important.”

Firestar swiped his tongue around his jaws. “It’s strange how distant the living Clans seem now. These days I recognize more pelts in StarClan than I do in ThunderClan.”

Sandstorm pulled the squirrel carcass closer and picked delicately at the bones. “No cat fights in StarClan,” she mewed between bites. “But then, we’re never hungry, or cold. I suppose there’s less to fight over.”

“Squirrelflight!” Juniperkit’s mew made her turn. He was hurtling toward her, his tail sticking straight into the air. He bundled into her, purring. “Do you want to play moss-ball with us?”

Dandelionkit hurried after him. “Briarlight says it’s more fun if we all play.”

“I said no such thing.” Briarlight bounded to the edge of the clearing and blinked at Squirrelflight. She looked lean and fit, her pelt sparkling with starlight. It was hard to believe she’d been crippled for so long. She grabbed Juniperkit and scooped him onto her back. “Do you want a badger ride?”

“Yes!” Juniperkit squeaked.

“Me too!” As Dandelionkit scrambled onto Briarlight’s back, Larksong and Flickerkit crossed the clearing.

“Let’s have a race,” Larksong called.

“Can we?” Flickerkit’s eyes lit up.

“We can do anything we want.” His father ducked low enough for him to climb onto his back.

Squirrelflight purred as Briarlight and Larksong charged away, the kits squealing with delight as they clung on. Her purr suddenly died in her throat. They’d always be like this. “Are they sad that they’ll never become warriors?”

Firestar shrugged. “They learn warrior skills,” he told her. “And even though they won’t ever get warrior names, they can hunt and explore where they like. It’s safe here. And there are always plenty of other kits to play with.”

Sandstorm followed Squirrelflight’s gaze. “They spend a lot of time with Mosskit,” she told her.

Squirrelflight jerked her muzzle toward her mother. “Mosskit.” The name rang a bell. She’d heard nursery stories about her. “Wasn’t that Bluestar’s kit? The one who went missing?”

“Yes.” Cinderpelt shifted onto her belly. “She and Bluestar are inseparable now.”

Leafpool glanced around the camp. “Why aren’t they here?”

“Why should they be? There are no borders in StarClan,” Cinderpelt reminded her. “Cats roam where they please. Bluestar lives with Oakheart now. They can be the family they never were in life.”

Squirrelflight wondered what it was like to live without borders. She tipped her head to one side. “How can the Clans live in peace here but not beside the lake?”

“I told you.” Sandstorm flicked her tail. “There’s less to fight about.”

Cinderpelt got to her paws. “I promised Yellowfang I’d hunt with her this afternoon.” She blinked at Leafpool. “Do you want to come too?”

“Of course.” Leafpool blinked at Squirrelflight. “Do you want to join us?”

“No thanks.” Squirrelflight wanted to make the most of the time she had here in StarClan. She could wake up at any moment and find herself in the ThunderClan medicine den. “I’ll stay with Sandstorm and the kits.” She watched Leafpool and Cinderpelt hurry toward the gorse tunnel, their pelts fluffed with excitement. Cinderpelt seemed happier here, and Leafpool happy to be with her again.

Firestar closed his eyes, and Sandstorm began to wash his ears as though he were a kit. Mousefur rolled onto her side, clearly relishing the sunshine. How comforting it was to know that those who’d left them would never truly be gone.

Hollyleaf caught Squirrelflight’s eye. “Can I show you around?”

“What about Sandstorm and the kits?” Dandelionkit, Juniperkit, and Flickerkit chased one another’s tails on the other side of the clearing.

“They can come too,” Hollyleaf told her. “Don’t forget, kits aren’t confined to camp here. They can go wherever they like in StarClan. There’s nothing to hurt them here.”

Squirrelflight glanced at her father. He was dozing now, gently snoring. “Should we wake him?”

“He likes to have a nap in the afternoon,” Sandstorm told her. “He’ll be fast asleep until sunset.”

Squirrelflight got to her paws. “Dandelionkit! Juniperkit!” They stopped playing and looked at her eagerly. “Do you want to come look around with us?”

“Yes!” Dandelionkit raced toward her, Juniperkit on her tail.

“Can we come too?” Larksong and Flickerkit hurried after them.

“Sure!” Hollyleaf shook out her pelt. “Maybe we’ll catch some squirrels while we’re out.” She headed for the thorn tunnel. “Tree hunting is the best.”

“Tree hunting?” Squirrelflight pricked her ears nervously. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Not here.” Hollyleaf ducked through the entrance.

Juniperkit lifted his tail happily. “You can’t hurt yourself, even if you fall.”

“It’s like flying without wings.” Dandelionkit pushed past her and raced through the gorse tunnel, Juniperkit at her heels.

Squirrelflight hurried after them, her belly tightening. Even in StarClan, she didn’t like the idea of her kits falling.

“Don’t worry.” Sandstorm must have seen her pelt prickling. She ran her tail along Squirrelflight’s spine. “They’re perfectly safe.”

Squirrelflight raced along the oak branch. A ginger tail bobbed just ahead. As the ground blurred far below, she felt no fear. She reached the end and leaped. Air streamed through her fur. The tree beyond seemed to reach toward her, and she landed among its branches, breathless at the thrill. She hesitated, scanning the tree for the squirrel. There it was, swarming up the trunk! She hauled herself upward, her claws digging easily into the soft bark, and scrambled onto a crooked branch as the squirrel doubled back.

Hollyleaf was watching from the branch above. As the squirrel neared her, she slithered down, blocking the squirrel’s path. It turned, eyes widening as it saw Squirrelflight. She leaped for it and hooked it up, then killed it with a single bite. Its blood sang on her tongue, and she sat back on her haunches, satisfaction pulsing beneath her pelt.

Hollyleaf stopped beside her. “Good, huh?”

Squirrelflight purred. “Very.” She peered down through the leaves. She could see Juniperkit and Dandelionkit running along a branch below. It was strange to see kits so young climbing trees. They weren’t fast enough to catch squirrels, but they moved with such nimbleness they looked like tiny warriors.

“Let’s take this down and rest,” Hollyleaf mewed. The sky was darkening as the sun dipped in the sky. “Firestar will be awake soon.”

She picked the squirrel up between her jaws and scrambled down the trunk.

Squirrelflight followed, the forest floor soft as she landed.

Leaves rustled above her head, and Juniperkit and Dandelionkit dropped down beside her. They sniffed the squirrel excitedly.

“Can we taste it?” Dandelionkit asked.

“Aren’t you too young to eat fresh-kill?” Squirrelflight pricked her ears with surprise.

Juniperkit rolled his eyes. “This is StarClan,” he told her. “We can eat anything we like.”

“Okay, then.” As they padded around the squirrel, searching for the best place to take a bite, Squirrelflight looked around the woods. “Where’s Sandstorm?”

“I’m here.” Her mother padded from between the trees, Larksong at her tail. Flickerkit followed them, dragging a mouse by its tail. His catch was almost half his size.

“Did you catch that yourself?” Juniperkit sounded impressed as he hurried to sniff the mouse.

Flickerkit let the mouse flop onto the ground. “Larksong flushed it out and I killed it.”

Larksong stopped beside his son and puffed out his chest. “He learns quickly.”

Squirrelflight’s belly felt suddenly hollow. How would Sparkpelt feel when she heard that Flickerkit was learning warrior skills without her? She blinked at Larksong. “Should I tell Sparkpelt that you’re happy here?”

Larksong’s gaze darkened. “I’m not happy, exactly.,” he murmured. “I still miss her.” Grief glittered in his eyes.

Flickerkit looked at him. “Will Sparkpelt be joining us soon?”

“Not yet.” Larksong touched his nose to Flickerkit’s head.

Guilt pricked Squirrelflight’s pelt. She’d forgotten about Sparkpelt and Bramblestar while she was hunting. They’d be sick with worry. She should be with them, not here. “I need to see my Clanmates. Take me to the pond.” She stared at Sandstorm. If there was a way to see her living Clanmates, perhaps she could send them a message. “I need to go back.”

Sandstorm frowned. “I don’t know if you can.”

“I have to try.” Squirrelflight padded past her mother and headed for the meadow where she’d woken. Sandstorm followed, Larksong, Hollyleaf, and the kits at her heels. Even the kits kept up as she broke from the forest and crossed the meadow to the pond. The surface shimmered in the fading light as she stopped beside it. She peered in, anxiety sparking in her belly as she saw nothing but her reflection. “How do I see them?”

“See who?” Leafpool’s mew took her by surprise. Her sister was hurrying toward her, Cinderpelt at her side.

“I want to see Sparkpelt.” Squirrelflight touched her paw to the water. As ripples spread around it, she glimpsed the ThunderClan camp. She dropped into a crouch and peered harder into the pond. The medicine den opened before her. Alderheart hadn’t moved. He was still huddled beside her nest. Leafpool lay next to her, Jayfeather at her side. In the hazy shadows she could make out Bramblestar. His eyes were hollow with grief. Her heart twisted inside her chest. “I must get to them. I have to tell them I’m coming back.”

“You can only watch.” Sandstorm’s flank brushed hers softly.

“There must be some way to send them a message.” Squirrelflight looked again, her heart lurching as she realized that she couldn’t see her daughter. “Where’s Sparkpelt?”

“She’s probably with her kits,” Sandstorm murmured.

“Or she could be grieving,” Larksong mewed. “I can never see her when she’s really upset. It’s like she’s swallowed by shadows.”

Foreboding trickled like ice water through Squirrelflight’s pelt. “She needs me.” Her words felt thick. She sat up. “They all need me.”

Leafpool padded closer. “There’s nothing we can do,” she mewed gently.

“But you hear from StarClan all the time,” Squirrelflight insisted. “There must be a way to reach them. How do you share with StarClan when you’re at the Moonpool?”

Leafpool shrugged. “I just touch my nose to the water and I’m there with them.”

Squirrelflight jabbed her nose into the pond. Water raced up her nose and made her sneeze.

Leafpool ran her tail along Squirrelflight’s spine. “They’ll be okay,” she soothed.

“No, they won’t!” Panic fluttered at the edge of Squirrelflight’s thoughts. “I have to reach them.” She stared urgently at Leafpool. “Perhaps if you try too. We have two paws here and two paws beside the lake. If we try hard enough, we have to be able to find our way back.”

Leafpool shook her head. “I don’t want to go back yet. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Hollyleaf, Sandstorm, and Firestar. I want to stay with them while I can.”

“But Sparkpelt needs us.” Squirrelflight blinked at her.

“Sparkpelt needs you,” Leafpool murmured softly. “Not me.”

Squirrelflight saw calmness in Leafpool’s gaze. She’s happy to be here. She shook out her pelt. Well, I’m not! “I’m going to find my way back.” She turned toward her kits.

Dandelionkit was chasing Flickerkit around her brother. She stopped as she saw Squirrelflight padding toward them. “Have you seen all your Clanmates in the pond?”

“Not yet.” Squirrelflight ignored the guilt pricking beneath her pelt. “I have to go back.”

“Now?” Juniperkit’s eyes widened.

“But you only just got here,” Dandelionkit mewed.

“I’ll return,” Squirrelflight promised. “You just have to be patient a little while longer.” She glanced at Flickerkit and Sandstorm. “And you have friends here, and kin. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Don’t you want to stay?” Sadness glistened in Juniperkit’s gaze.

“I can’t stay yet,” Squirrelflight told him. “There are cats I left behind. They still need me. More than you do.”

“Okay, then.” Dandelionkit lifted her chin bravely. “I can wait,” she mewed.

Juniperkit glanced at his sister uncertainly. “So can I, I guess.”

Squirrelflight touched her muzzle to his head, then nuzzled Dandelionkit’s ears. “Be good,” she murmured softly. “Keep practicing your hunting skills.”

Juniperkit flicked his tail. “By the time you get back, we’ll be able to catch whole squirrels.”

“I’m sure you will.” Squirrelflight’s chest tightened as she turned back toward the pond.

Larksong padded closer. “If you reach Sparkpelt, tell her I love her. Tell her not to be unhappy. I’ll take care of Flickerkit until she can join us. But she has to be happy. She has to make a life without me. I don’t want her to grieve.”

Squirrelflight nodded solemnly. “I’ll tell her if I can.” She turned to Sandstorm. “Say good-bye to Firestar for me.” She ignored the grief tugging at her belly. She knew what she had to do. The pond was her link to ThunderClan. It must be the only way to reach them. Taking a gulp of air, she leaped. As she plunged into the water, her breath caught in her throat. Cold pierced her fur. Eyes stinging, she ducked beneath the surface and fought her way down into the shadowy depths.