Space Hoax

9 CRAZY FOOL

After reaching the damaged Soyuz, Peter parked cautiously next to the ship’s entrance. He had flipped open his sun visor to help communicate with the cosmonaut poking out of the spacecraft’s exit. With the cosmonaut keeping his sun visor closed, Peter was unable to determine if this man was the flight engineer who was scheduled to go first. Incapable of spotting a name on the spaceman’s suit or being able to verbally confirm who it was, he had to assume this was the right guy. Peter grabbed a handhold closer to the exit and pulled, causing the SAFER to bang against the ship, ripping some of the insulation. He wasn’t concerned about the wounded spacecraft, but had to make sure not to damage his ride. He hooked a tether line through a handhold before securing the machine tightly to the Soyuz. He grabbed another cord that needed to be attached to the Russian. As he held out the line to the cosmonaut, he saw his reflection in the visor and instantly thought of his dad. The image reminded him of his dad’s favorite picture from his Gemini spacewalk. A smile shot across his face. Thinking of you too, Dad. Help me not screw this thing up.

The cosmonaut grabbed the line’s clasp, clipping it to a metal ring on his suit, insuring he would go wherever Peter went. The plan was for the Russian to climb onto Peter and hug him from the front, wrapping his arms tightly around for the transfer. It was the cosmonaut’s responsibility to hold on while Peter flew them over to the Galileo. None of the spacemen had any training for such a dangerous maneuver. These men were the first ever to be rescued in Earth’s orbit and Peter puzzled over exactly how it would all work out.

The cosmonaut gave Peter a thumbs-up, signaling he was ready. Peter motioned for the man to exit toward him. The cosmonaut unhooked his lifeline from the spacecraft, cutting off his air supply. He was now breathing only the remaining oxygen in his suit. Peter’s heart rate jumped, knowing he had little room for error. He had to get this man over to the Galileo as soon as possible so he could hook him up to one of the Russian oxygen packs on board. Peter extended his arm to help the man egress. As the cosmonaut floated out, Peter was startled to see a gloved hand quickly jut out from the darkness of the Soyuz and aggressively grab a hold of one of the engineer’s legs. Peter figured it was the commander stopping his partner for some reason. He motioned for the cosmonaut to stop, but instead was shocked to see the engineer shake his leg violently, trying to break free of the grasp. Not able to hear any radio transmissions, Peter was confused by the action. The helmet of the culprit finally emerged with his sun visor up. Peter cringed as he looked into a pair of wide-open, dark eyes filled with terror. A bulging, red face filled the helmet as the man appeared to be screaming, sweat pooling in all areas. Peter quickly determined it was the tourist panicking. Quickly Peter tried to give him some assurance everything would be all right by putting both hands up and motioning for him to stay put. Calm down, dude, or none of us are going to make it out of here.

Another arm came out and tried to pull in the frightened man. After a few seconds of struggling, the engineer was able to break his leg free and pull himself toward Peter. Damn, what was all that about? Peter was frustrated he couldn’t verbally communicate with the men.

Peter signaled for the cosmonaut to stop while he turned on the SAFER and removed the tether line from the Soyuz. Once the line was free, he shut his sun visor and motioned for the engineer to climb on as he held the handhold with his right hand. Peter was unable to help as the cosmonaut struggled to hold onto the ship. He smiled; the man had to wiggle his body against Peter’s in order to wrap his arms and legs securely around him in a big bear hug, his visor pressed up against Peter’s. I love you too, man.

Once the engineer was in place, Peter pushed off from the ship. Then panic set in. He couldn’t see Galileo. He was faced in the direction of deep space with the Earth behind him and had no idea how his push changed their bearing. The cosmonaut’s helmet was blocking half of his vision on the left side, which was where he assumed his spaceship was. The Russian also blocked Peter from seeing the controls, preventing him from getting help from the directional indicator. He expected the SAFER to fly differently with the extra mass; he just wasn’t sure how different. Regardless, he had no choice but to fly the contraption blindly until his ship came into view. He slowly moved his gloved hand along the machine’s arm, until his fingers found and grabbed the joystick.

Instinctively, he called out in his helmet, “Hold on.”

Peter pushed the control slightly forward and to the left, causing them to turn left and hopefully put them in the direction of his ship. Once the Soyuz was out of his vision, he had no reference points to know how fast he was going or if they were flying level. All he saw was complete blackness with thousands of tiny stars that all looked the same. He had to wish for the best as he continued to fly by the seat of his pants. After a few moments, he started to get nervous, knowing his ship should have come into view if he was flying as expected. Come on, baby, where the hell are you?

Peter was moving his head all around, trying to spot the ship. The longer he flew without finding it, the more lost they would be, possibly dying in the search. He tried moving the stick in another direction thinking he must have flown either under or over the ship. He frantically turned his head in all directions. He called out, “Where the hell are you?” He wondered if the engineer had any idea where Galileo was since he could see where Peter couldn’t, not that it would help since they couldn’t communicate. The pressure was building to find the spacecraft since time was ticking on the cosmonaut’s slim air supply.

A strong nudge on his side felt as if the cosmonaut was signaling him. I hope you’re trying to tell me something. It felt like a thumb was being jammed in an upward position into his suit. Peter hoped the engineer could see the ship and was signaling its location. He pulled back on the control, hoping to stop his momentum until he could figure out where he needed to go. Knowing where the engineer was facing and pointing, he presumed he had a good idea.

Sweat began to pool on his face. Peter, you can do this; focus.

He moved the stick into the position he hoped would allow him to locate the ship. He presumed they were turning and going up, in a slow corkscrew motion. The engineer’s thumb pressure rotated slightly to his left. Hoping the man was giving him some kind of clue, Peter looked in that direction. He needed to spot the ship before they were too close to avoid hitting one of the ship’s solar arrays. Suddenly he felt all of the cosmonaut’s fingers jam into his side. He wasn’t sure what this meant until a shadow began to creep across the cosmonaut’s upper shoulder and then his helmet toward his visor, which had to be one of the two ships. Please be Galileo! He pulled back on the stick, trying not to crash into the ship, but he was too late. When it came into view, they were only a few feet away and moving. Damn it, not again!

The engineer tightened his grip, signaling he was aware they would hit. Sorry, buddy. As before, Peter turned his head prior to slamming into the underbelly of the ship. Bam!

Surprisingly, the impact wasn’t bad. Probably the worst part was the damage to his ego. I’ve got to stop crashing this thing. The good news was he crashed into Galileo. He would really feel like an idiot if they had done a big circle in space and crashed back into the Soyuz. Peter brushed off his ego.

Unfortunately, his little tour of space used up some of the engineer’s precious air supply. He probably had only a few minutes left. Peter grabbed a handhold as the cosmonaut started to scramble off. Luckily, they were within a few feet of the opened hatch. The engineer reached another handhold before unhooking the tether line. He gave Peter a hasty thumbs-up before turning and scrambling like a spider along the spacecraft to the opening. Peter saluted the man as he spoke out in his helmet. “Thanks for flying Novak Airlines.” He shook his head, dislodging pooled sweat. One down, two to go. Now for the crazy nut.

Peter turned the SAFER around to reposition himself toward the Soyuz while continuing to hold onto the ship. His jaw dropped when he saw one of the cosmonauts on the outside of the Soyuz in a crouched position holding onto an antenna while the other one was frantically trying to wave him back in. It was obvious the lunatic was Carlos. “What the hell is he doing?”

Peter’s eyes widened when he realized the tourist was positioning himself to jump toward the Galileo. He remembered how difficult it was to get an accurate push and yelled out, “Don’t do it!”

The tourist looked to aim in his direction before letting go of the antenna and extending his arms like Superman, pushing off with his legs. Peter screamed out, “Shit, no!”

The tourist’s vector was completely off, and he started floating away from the Galileo. “Damn it!”

Peter had to make a quick decision as he watched the tourist hysterically swing his arms, trying to change his course, which Peter knew wouldn’t happen. He was concerned how long it would take to retrieve the fleeing spaceman, doubting Carlos would even have enough air in his suit to survive. Chasing down the crazy man could risk killing them all, and if there was one thing he learned from the moon mission, he had too much to live for. The commander pointed toward Carlos. Peter thought for a second before making his decision. He reciprocated by also pointing toward the floating spaceman, but he brought his hand to his neck, doing a “cut throat” signal.

ALL HELL WAS breaking loose in the FKA control room. Dmitri had just witnessed his sister being carried out on a stretcher while he was dealing with a hysterical idiot who just tried to jump from their spacecraft to the Galileo. Now the crazy fool was floating aimlessly in space.

Mission Control’s only remaining line of communication was with Sergei, who was still keeping his cool as he kept them abreast of the situation. “Am…ican signaled to cut Car…s loose. How sh…ld I respond, over?”

Dmitri slammed his fist on his desk. “No! Under no circumstance do you let him float away. Signal Peter he must go after Carlos, now!”

The commander coolly answered, “Roger.”

IT TOOK PETER longer than expected to reach the lost tourist even though he flew the jetpack at full speed. As he approached from behind, he was surprised to see Carlos still erratically flailing his arms and legs. He shook his head. Dumbass, all you’re doing is eating up your oxygen.

Peter wondered if he could successfully capture the out-of-control man. He had to be careful not to get hit or kicked, possibly damaging his spacesuit. He also had to make certain the man did not grab at any of his life support hoses. He shook his head in his helmet. This is a bad idea.

His best option was to ram into the man from behind and catch him off guard. This was the one time he wanted to crash the SAFER. Peter pulled back on the joystick, slowing the jets as he drew near. His aim looked to be dead on. His hope was Carlos would calm down once he was in his grasp. When Peter was ten feet away, he extended his arms and legs like an eagle preparing to snatch its prey. Right before impact, he lifted his left leg to miss a kicking leg as his right leg made contact. His pelvis slammed hard into Carlos’s upper back before he quickly wrapped both legs tightly around the upper body, insuring not to lose his catch. The impact put the tandem into a slow spin.

Peter immediately crossed and locked his ankles in front of Carlos’s chest while the idiot continued to swing and kick. Because Carlos was not cooperating, Peter could not move him up and attach a tether line. Dude, you’re not making this easy. Fortunately, the jetpack’s metal arms were protecting him from being hit by a swinging arm.

He now had to get out of the spin, which would be a trick. On the plus side, with the back of Carlos’s helmet in his gut and his wild arms below the machine’s control panel, Peter had no obstruction blocking either his view or the controls. Come on, Peter, you can do this.

He had to use all of his piloting skills as he delicately worked the stick, gradually gaining control with each movement until he was able to stop the spin. Feeling proud of himself, he blurted out, “How about that?”

They were now upside down in relation to Earth. Peter looked ahead and saw both ships, each with a cosmonaut hanging out looking in his direction. The Galileo appeared to be about two hundred yards away. Carlos’s body had gone limp. Don’t die on me now, dude. Peter assumed he must have passed out due to the lack of oxygen. He quickly put the machine into gear and raced back to his ship.

ANYA’S VISION WAS blurry when she first opened her eyes. She was initially confused about where she was and what had happened. Someone looking down at her spoke. She lifted her hands to her face and rubbed her eyes. When she refocused, her vision was clearer. Right away, she realized she was in Medical, and the man standing over her was a doctor. To her right, a nurse.

“What happened?”

The doctor spoke with a calming voice. “You had an anxiety attack.”

Anya looked away at a bare gray wall, trying to clear her head and piece together those last moments. She remembered sitting at a desk in mission control listening to the rescue of the cosmonauts. Her last memory was hearing Peter was outside of his spacecraft before she started to feel like she was having a heart attack. Instantly she wondered how Peter was. “Have the cosmonauts been saved?”

“The rescue is happening right now.”

Anya ripped off the thin sheet and started to rise up from the bed, destined for the control room. The doctor put his hand on her shoulder, his voice strong. “You’re not going anywhere, young lady.”

Anya ignored the doctor as she continued to sit up in the bed, fighting the dizziness. “I need to get back to mission control. Peter needs me.”

The doctor applied more force to prevent Anya from getting off the bed. “You are staying right here. We don’t want you having another attack. Besides, there’s nothing you can do for those men.”

Anya pushed the doctor’s hand off her. “Let me out of here.”

The doctor aggressively grabbed her shoulders before she felt a sharp prick in her arm. She turned to see the nurse had inserted a needle and was injecting something. “What’s that?”

The doctor’s voice answered soothingly, “Something to calm you down and help you rest.”

She continued to resist, but she was easily losing the battle as her body began to feel weak. Her vision became foggy again as she tried to fight the drug now coursing through her bloodstream. She started to slur her words. “Peter needs me. I need to…” Her whole body went limp as she fell back on the pillow, everything going dark.

OVER THE LAST few minutes, Sergei had been making random and confusing statements, which alarmed Dmitri. After hearing the resilient cosmonaut complain of sharp pains in his shoulders, he was convinced the commander was experiencing the first stages of decompression sickness.

“I feel like a thou…nd tiny insects cra…ling all over my body.”

Skin irritation was a classic symptom of the sickness. Dmitri’s immediate concern was the cosmonaut vomiting in his spacesuit, which could be lethal. “Sergei, you are experiencing decompression sickness. Where is Peter?”

“What?”

“Has Peter reached Carlos?”

“I not h… you, repeat.”

Dmitri spoke louder and slower. “Has the American rescued Carlos?”

The only sound coming through the speakers was heavy breathing with short grunts. Dmitri was getting ready to repeat the question before he heard, “Roger. They are in transit b… to the ship.”

PETER HAD SUCCESSFULLY handed over the unconscious tourist to the engineer, who had been waiting at Galileo’s exit. It was now up to the engineer to get Carlos hooked up to his oxygen pack and attempt to revive him. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late.

Peter needed to focus on saving the commander. His heart rate doubled when he looked down at his air supply indicator and saw a red flashing light signaling he was running low on oxygen. “Damn it!”

He had no idea how long the light had been flashing, and the suit’s setup did not allow him to get an accurate reading on the remaining amount. He had roughly twelve minutes of air left in the other Skylab oxygen pack sitting inside the ship, which he needed for pressurizing the cabin if his current air supply ran out. He was forced to make a gut-wrenching decision—does he save the commander or not?

Peter looked out at the helpless cosmonaut sticking out of the abandoned spacecraft. He did not know the man, yet he was a fellow spaceman. Regardless, he had to remind himself he had a responsibility to the two men in his ship, and saving two lives was better than saving none. He also thought of Anya and his love for her.

He closed his eyes briefly and saw Viktor in his mind. The old cosmonaut was standing with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. Peter opened his eyes. Damn it. You’re right.

Peter pushed off the Galileo and hauled ass toward the damaged spacecraft. “Either we all die or we all live.”

A SURGE OF adrenaline shot through Peter as the commander dangled from his legs. Peter’s body was screaming for oxygen as he used his legs to clutch the slipping cosmonaut while they raced back to the Galileo. Sergei started off in the right hugging position when they left the Soyuz, but for some reason he had been slowly sliding down Peter’s body. Due to the rush to get them both connected to oxygen on the ship, he elected not take time to attach a tether line to the cosmonaut before departing the Soyuz, which was looking like a bad choice. If Sergei slipped off, he would undoubtedly float away from Peter into deep space. Peter would have no alternative but to cut the commander loose due to his thinning air supply.

Peter was starting to feel lightheaded due to the lack of oxygen. He tried not to panic. He struggled to zero in on the approaching Galileo. The engineer was hanging out of the entryway waiting to help. Peter’s plan was to come in high so the engineer could grab the commander. Sweat was pooling around his eyes. He quickly blinked to dislodge the droplets impacting his view. Peter was coming in hot and he had only one chance at getting this right. He could not afford to have the engineer miss grabbing the commander.

Peter’s aim looked to be slightly off. He was forced to make a course adjustment, firing the thrusters at 90 degrees to the direction of travel, preventing him from using them to slow down. He had no choice; he accepted the fact he would once again crash into the ship. He made the adjustment, lowering their trajectory. Peter’s heart was pounding out of his chest because the commander’s grip had slipped all the way down to his boots. Peter called out in his helmet, “Come on, Sergei, hold on!”

Ten feet out, Peter saw the engineer spread out his arms, giving him a large target. Once he was satisfied with their aim, Peter pulled back on the control stick. In the last few feet, he used his remaining strength to raise his legs to put the commander in the best possible position to be snatched. As he started to pass over the engineer, his direction changed due to a slight pull by Sergei before he let go of his legs, signaling he must have been snatched by the engineer. Peter’s change of direction sent him crashing into the ship.