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‘You must go on, to the foot bridge,’ she said. ‘I’ve told you, there are no bad cats, Tallulah. You must cross the bridge and go to the elder tree, then you will know why. Go quickly now. Quickly.’

She whisked me along under the shimmering umbrella of her wings, and I felt protected. No one stopped me. No dogs barked at me. I reached the foot bridge and trotted over it, relieved to be back on my side of the river.

I looked for the elder tree, and it had gone. My fur began to prickle and I crouched down in the long grass to see what had changed. The tree, and the old wall, had been removed, and in its place was a new-looking patio with slabs of dark grey and gold, and in the middle was a bench of polished red wood. A new tree had been planted next to it and it wasn’t an elder. This one had thick clusters of pink flowers.

It felt strangely disappointing. I’d been looking forward to some magic time with TammyLee under that special elder tree. So why had my angel brought me here, hustling me along the riverbank, only to see a bench?

I watched and waited.

I could hear the river, and the traffic in the town. Then voices and footsteps. I sat up to see who was coming along the path and it was two women with pushchairs, one behind the other, talking in low voices that seemed to belong to the sleepy afternoon.

They stood looking at the bench, running their fingers over the polished wood, and touching the square of brass that reflected the sun. I could tell there were babies in the two pushchairs, even though they had their back to me, each had an angel of light like two splashes of gold in the air, not huge but intense and comforting. It made me purr as I lay hidden in the grass, watching. Since that night with Rocky, I loved babies and wanted to be close to them whenever I had the chance.

‘Wait, Tallulah,’ said my angel. ‘The right moment will come, if you listen.’

I listened, and there were grasshoppers zeet-zeeting in the hot grass, and pigeons coo-cooing, and the distant thump-thump of music from the town. My angel pointed at the two women with a finger that sliced through the air like a blade of turquoise light. So I focused on their faces and their conversation. Soon I knew their names– Maddie and Kaye – and Kaye was doing most of the talking.

‘Wasn’t it a lovely thing to do?’ she was saying. ‘To put a bench here. And such a posh one. Must have cost a fortune.’

‘Lovely,’ agreed Maddie.

‘Linda paid for it,’ said Kaye, ‘and she wouldn’t have her name on it. She’s like that.’

The name Linda tweaked my memory of the kind lady who had found Rocky and cried over him. The lady with the comfortable shoulders and the shivering dog.

Both women turned and looked at the square of brass again and were silent for a moment. I wondered what was on it. Pity I couldn’t read. I was getting twitchy, wanting to go out there with my tail up, and wanting to go home to TammyLee. Had she been here? Had she cried on this special day, and needed me to be with her, while I was messing about instead of coming here?

‘You’re getting negative again. Just listen,’ said my angel.

‘But what am I doing here?’ I asked.

‘Wait,’ she repeated patiently, ‘and soon you will know.’

One of the babies was waking up. I could see a plump little hand waving from the pushchair.

‘She’s too hot. Aren’t you, my darling?’ Maddie stood up, lifted the baby girl out and sat down again, nursing her.

Then the other baby started to scream and kick vigorously at the pushchair. Kaye was on her feet instantly.

‘What’s the matter, darling? Want to get out, do you? All right, all right. Wait a minute while Mummy undoes the straps.’

‘He’s a bruiser!’ said Maddie, laughing, and the baby cried even more furiously while Kaye struggled to lift him out. He was big and energetic, his face red with the crying, his arms and legs thrashing.

‘Here we go,’ said Kaye, heaving him onto her lap. ‘He’s in a strop.’

‘Go out there,’ said my angel, ‘and purr.’

I pulled up my tail, straightened my whiskers, and walked out into the sunshine.

‘Oh, look … a cat. A pretty pussycat,’ said Kaye.

The effect on the crying child was instant.

‘Tat!’ he shouted, and clapped his fat little hands. ‘Tat!’

I jumped up onto the warm bench between the two women and turned on the purring, rubbing my head against first one and then the other.

‘Oh, lovely … friendly cat. You stroke him, he’s soft,’ said Maddie, putting her baby girl’s tiny hand on my fur. It felt like a butterfly.

‘Tat!’ The baby boy was getting more and more excited. ‘Mine.’

‘No, he’s not your cat,’ said Kaye. ‘But you can stroke him … or her, is it?’

‘Tat … mine,’ insisted the baby boy, and he held out his arms to me. I went to him, purring, and let him put both his chubby arms around my neck.

‘Don’t strangle the poor cat,’ said Kaye, laughing.

I let the baby boy love me and listen to my purr. I kissed his red nose and he giggled, patting me a bit too hard. I sat up and looked at him. I saw turquoise eyes, full of astonishment. I saw a mole on his cheek. And I knew why my angel had brought me here.

It was Rocky.

Chapter Eight

ROCKY

I stared into Rocky’s soul and he stared back. Going deep into those turquoise eyes, I saw that Rocky was ages old and full of light. I kept staring deeper and deeper until I discovered a pocket of darkness, which I recognised instantly as the pain of abandonment. Once I’d found it, I wanted to heal it, so I purred and purred, and stretched my paws over his steady little heart.

‘You can’t,’ said my angel. ‘It is part of him, part of his journey. He will always carry that memory, as you carry yours.’

I kept purring, sending stars into Rocky’s soul with all my energy, thinking I might never see him again, but knowing I had to find a way to reunite him with his true mother. I sent him pictures from my mind, of TammyLee, and how bitterly she regretted dumping him, how much she loved him. He accepted them, but his eyes looked puzzled. He pointed at Kaye.

‘Mum … mum,’ he said, and looked back at me ‘Tat! Mine.’

I kissed Rocky on the nose and he squealed with delight.

‘You shouldn’t let cats kiss babies,’ said Maddie, disapprovingly.

Kaye smiled.‘I don’t believe that. It’s medical paranoia.’

‘But what about germs?’ Maddie was holding her own baby very tightly.

‘What about them? We can’t let germs stand in the way of LOVE,’ said Kaye passionately. ‘This cat is giving him so much love. Look at her … purring like a sewing machine.’ She put her hand on my back. ‘I can feel the vibration right through her body. And Rocky’s loving it. Aren’t you, darling?’

‘Tat!’ shouted Rocky. Then he reached out and patted the square brass in the middle of the bench. ‘Dat?’ he asked.

‘That’s a commemorative plaque, sweetheart,’ said Kaye. ‘And it says “ROCKY’S BENCH”.’

There was a silence while the words sank into our minds.

‘Are you going to tell him about it?’ asked Maddie.

‘Not yet,’ Kaye replied, kissing Rocky’s silky dark head. ‘When he’s old enough. And IF Social Services decide we can actually adopt him. We want to so much. He’s my LIFE, aren’t you, Rocky?’

I turned my attention to Kaye, and gave her an intense stare.

‘This cat’s got such amazing eyes,’ she said. ‘Golden and so knowing.’

‘Wasn’t a cat there when Rocky was found?’ asked Maddie. ‘You showed me a press cutting. It did look like this one. Didn’t the police think it might belong to the mother?’

‘They did, but it belonged to an old lady on the other side of town,’ said Kaye, but the joy in her eyes had clouded and I saw that she was afraid of losing Rocky. She looked away, and I felt our contact had been abruptly shut down.

‘We’d better get back, Maddie. I’ve got to start Greg’s tea.’

‘Dad, Dad!’ shouted Rocky.

‘Yes … Daddy’s tea. And Rocky’s tea and a birthday cake with one candle.’ She stood up and gently lifted Rocky away from me. ‘Say goodbye to the lovely puss cat.’

Rocky struggled and screamed.‘Tat … mine.’ Kaye rolled her eyes and wrestled him into the pushchair. He kicked and stomped, shaking the whole pushchair, while Maddie was putting her quiet little baby into hers.

‘Come on,’ Kaye said, over the screaming. ‘The sooner we go, the sooner he’ll calm down. Calm down, Rocky, it’s not your cat. We can see her another day.’

Maddie wagged a finger at me.‘Don’t you follow us!’

I sat down on the warm bench and watched them go, Kaye walking briskly with her thrashing cargo. His screams faded into the distance.‘Tat … mine. Tat … mine.’

I decided to stay out, and make my way home after dark, thinking that most dogs would have gone home and it would be safe for me to run through the park. Rocky’s bench was perfect for me to sleep on. But first, I checked it out for any sign that TammyLee had been there. Right in the middle, near the brass plaque, I detected a faint scent of her. Then between the slats of wood, I saw something interesting.

I jumped down to investigate, and, hidden behind one of the bench legs, was a small posy of flowers, wild flowers mostly, but in the centre was a single red rose, tied together with one of the glittery rubber bands TammyLee used in her hair. Her scent was on it, and I knew for sure that she had been there and left a posy for Rocky.

It was dark when I arrived home, and TammyLee was in the garden with a torch, looking for me. My tail was bushed out and the fur along my spine was stiff with fright after my long trip home alone in the dark.

‘Oh, there you are!’ cried TammyLee. ‘Where have you BEEN?’

I jumped straight into her arms, and she felt me all over.‘Are you OK, Tallulah? Look at your tail! It’s like a hairbrush. What scared you?’

If only I could talk her language and tell her I’d seen Rocky. All I could do was purr and reach up to her concerned face with my paws. She’d been crying. Sobs lingered, deep down in her chest, spasmodically surfacing. I sensed the pain.

‘Dad’s mad with me,’ she said as she carried me indoors. ‘For walking home along the river on my own, and being late, and being rude.’

There was a tense atmosphere in the house, as if something was going to explode. Max was hunched at the table, frowning at his laptop. He glanced up with cold eyes.

‘Thank God for that,’ he said. ‘Where was she?’

‘She just appeared,’ said TammyLee, ‘like cats do.’

‘Now perhaps we’ll get some PEACE,’ said Max wearily.

TammyLee stood there with me in her arms. I nuzzled against her and the pulse throbbing in her neck felt hot.

‘Is that all you care about, Dad?’ she asked. ‘So-called “peace”.’

Max pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes.

‘Dad?’

‘I am not going to engage with further provocation,’ said Max, and a hard grey shell closed around his aura. He turned back to his laptop and tapped at the keys like a terrier digging a hole.

‘Fine. Don’t bother,’ said TammyLee. She put me down and marched into the kitchen. I ran to see Amber, who was lying quietly on her bed, her ears drooping and only the tip of her tail moving. She whined and lifted a paw to me. I wanted to describe my adventure by the river, and tell her about Rocky’s turquoise eyes, but she wasn’t in a receptive mood.

‘There was a terrible row,’ she told me. ‘TammyLee was in a temper and she burned Max’s tea and slammed the plate down on the table. She shouted and swore at him, and every time Max tried to say something, she shouted even louder. I hated it, I hid behind the curtain, and now I’ve been on my bed for too long and I haven’t had a walk.’

Amber looked miserable and anxious. I gave her lots of love, weaving my way round her, brushing her face with my tail. She gradually relaxed, and when I ran into the kitchen for my supper, Amber crept over to Max and leaned against his leg.

‘You haven’t had a walk, have you?’ I heard him say, and he shut the laptop.

‘Where’s your lead?’

Amber instantly became her joyful self again, charged into the kitchen, nearly knocking me over as I ate my tuna chunks. She circled the lounge and jumped right over the sofa, while Max was putting his coat on.

‘I’m walking the dog,’ he said curtly to TammyLee, and clipped the lead onto Amber’s collar.

‘Fine,’ said TammyLee, and, once he’d gone out of the door, she muttered, ‘And don’t come back. I don’t care if you never come back.’

I needed a wash and a long sleep. But TammyLee needed me more. She carried me upstairs, and we checked Diana, who was asleep, her face tranquil, her skin pale in the dim blue of a night light.

‘Tallulah’s back, Mum,’ TammyLee whispered, but Diana didn’t stir. ‘She’s on heavy medication.’ TammyLee closed the door quietly and took me into her bedroom, where she kicked off her shoes and slumped onto her bed, burrowing into a mound of cushions. I stood on her chest, purring, and looked at her tormented eyes.

‘I’d DIE without you, Tallulah,’ she said, smoothing my coat with both hands. ‘You’re all I’ve got. And you know about Rocky.’

I did a purr-meow, to show her I understood.

‘I went to Rocky’s Bench after school today,’ she said. ‘It’s his birthday. My baby’s birthday. And I’m not there for him.’ She cried and cried into my fur, and I lay still and listened. ‘Why did I do it, Tallulah? Why was I such a coward? What will Rocky think when he grows up,wherever he is? What will he think about his real mum dumping him like rubbish? I wish I could tell him why. I wish I could tell him that I loved him. I can’t bear to think he might grow up and never know that.’ She sobbed into the cushions. Then she said something that worried me a lot: ‘I want to die, Tallulah. I just … want … to die.’

I felt powerless. What could one small tabby cat do, faced with a suicidal human? I patted her wet cheek with my paw, and thought maybe if I washed her face, she might feel better. So I started licking, tasting salt and make-up, licking gently round each of her eyes and calming the frown lines between them. And it worked! After a few minutes of it, she was smiling and looking at me again.

‘Magic puss cat,’ she said, and then she did something beautiful: she took my little black cat brush out of its drawer and began to groom my fur. I loved it, and it was just what I needed. I rolled onto my back and let her brush under my chin and down my belly. The brushing, and the appreciative purring, seemed to soothe TammyLee.

‘Look at this fluff, Tallulah!’ she said, showing me the wad of fur she was pulling out of the brush. She put it in a plastic bag. ‘I’m saving your fur and one day I’m going to make something with it, a heart-shaped cushion, or a cushion that looks like a cat’s face.’ She said, ‘Then I can keep you for ever, Tallulah.’

I stayed in her bedroom, thinking I’d better keep an eye on her. Instead of sleeping, I sat on the table next to her laptop, and watched her begin her homework, sighing as she ticked boxes and looked intently at the computer screen. We heard Max coming in with Amber, and he came slowly up the stairs and tapped on TammyLee’s door.

She rolled her eyes.

‘What?’ she asked, without looking up from her work.

‘Can we have a chat?’ Max looked different after his walk with Amber. His cheeks were red and his eyes brighter.

‘No, Dad. I’m really tired right now. And I’ve got homework.’

Max hovered in the doorway.

‘I hoped we could make peace, and … move on,’ he said.

‘Yeah, yeah, Dad.’

‘I do appreciate what you do for your mum,’ said Max quietly. ‘I know it’s not easy for you, but, for what it’s worth, TammyLee, I do love you. At the end of the day, I do. And I do care about your future.’

Finally, TammyLee looked at him.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ she said again. ‘I know you care and stuff, Dad. Look, I’ve got an exam tomorrow and I need to do this homework. Will you leave me alone … PLEASE?’

Max looked upset and bewildered. TammyLee sighed. She got up and gave her dad a hug.‘It’s OK, Dad. I’m sorry I sounded off at you. But please … go and watch the news or something.’

I meowed at Max and he had the sense to back off and go downstairs.

‘If it wasn’t for you, Tallulah, I’d go mad,’ said TammyLee.

‘Probably true,’ I thought, and sat patiently by her laptop, pretending to doze.

‘You’re SUCH a good cat,’ she said, and that made me feel better, especially when my angel drifted into the room and hung around by the bookshelves, shimmering with joy.

‘You’ve done a brilliant job today, Tallulah,’ she said, and I basked in the encouragement. Then she said, ‘Thank you,’ and covered me in stardust. My fur tingled with joy. It was the first time on this planet that someone had said thank you to me.

That weekend, I learned a lot more about the river.

Mid-morning, we set off in the hot sunshine, with Max pushing Diana’s wheelchair and TammyLee in front leading Amber. A bag bulging with towels and picnic stuff was stashed in the pouch at the back of the wheelchair, and TammyLee had even put in a sachet of my favourite chicken-and-rabbit cat food, and some biscuits for Amber.

‘I don’t think you should let Tallulah come,’ Max had said. ‘We should shut her in.’

But TammyLee trusted me, and she knew how much I needed time outside.

‘She’s my cat, and she’s not a prisoner,’ she said. ‘She’s coming, if she wants to.’

‘Don’t blame me if she gets lost,’ said Max.

‘Tallulah can sit on my lap if she gets tired,’ said Diana, her eyes luminous in her pale face. ‘Come on, darling.’ She patted the rug over her thin knees, and I jumped up and travelled the first bit in Diana’s arms. ‘We’ll all look after you, Tallulah – we love you to bits.’

‘It’s the other way round,’ I thought. ‘I’m looking after you.’

I was a happy cat now. I loved my family, I had my own dog, and I adored TammyLee. Life was just perfect now. I felt exuberant as I jumped down and chased after Amber, who had been let off the lead. We belted towards the river and I could hear laughter behind us.

‘I LOVE the way that dog’s tail goes round and round when she’s running,’ said Diana.

‘She uses it as a brake,’ said TammyLee. She’d got her long hair tied in a loose ponytail at the back of her neck, and she wore a black vest with a green dragon on it. Her bangles flashed in the sun, and she had long jeans with frayed edges that brushed the floor, and a slit in each knee, which I loved to play with when she was sitting still. I’d get my paw in there, pull out a thread and play with it. Instead of her clonky shoes, she had soft sandals and she’d painted her toenails a witchy green to match the dragon. For once, she looked free and happy, snatching at seed headsof grass as we walked along.

Until a shadow fell over our day.

I’d never heard Amber growl before, but she was growling now, her soft muzzle curling to reveal the gleam of her impressive set of teeth. Her hackles were up along her spine.

‘Amber!’ TammyLee grabbed the dog’s collar as three young men came slouching round the corner. Amber barked, and TammyLee’s aura turned to cracked glass. I figured Amber was barking at the tallest of the three lads, who was in the middle. His hair was standing up in a stiff ridge, and he had rings in his lips and eyebrows.

Alarmed by Amber’s behaviour, I climbed a post and sat on top. I wanted to look at the eyes of this muscular young man who Amber didn’t like. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at TammyLee, his eyes moving over her whole body, up and down. He and his two mates stood across the path in front of us.

Max stopped pushing the wheelchair and anger flooded his aura with a brick-red colour. He opened his mouth to speak, and Diana put a restraining hand on his arm.

‘Hi, Dylan,’ said TammyLee, and Amber went on growling with the sunlight glistening through her hackles.

‘What’s up with your dog?’ Dylan asked, mockingly. ‘Nasty, ain’t she?’

‘She doesn’t like you,’ said TammyLee.

‘Shame about that.’ Dylan still straddled the path, towering over Max, who was tutting and glaring at him.

‘I thought you had a Saturday job,’ said TammyLee. ‘What happened?’

Dylan shrugged.‘I quit, didn’t I! Dead boring.’ He put his face close to TammyLee. ‘So, what happened to you then? False alarm was it?’

TammyLee looked at him steadily, her mouth twitching.

‘It’s none of your business,’ she fired at him. ‘And I don’t want nothing to do with you, Dylan, so stay away from me.’

‘You heard her,’ said Max. ‘Let us pass, please. Can’t you see my wife is in a wheelchair?’

‘Calm down, Pop.’ Dylan grinned round at his two mates. ‘I’m not planning on raping your precious daughter. Not today.’ He winked at TammyLee and she glared back.

It was Diana who intervened. With a radiant smile and her eyes piercingly bright, she said,‘Good afternoon, boys, lovely to meet you. Are you enjoying this beautiful sunshine?’ She held out a thin white hand. ‘I’m Diana. And you are?’

Dylan got smaller and smaller as he looked at Diana’s radiance. None of the boys shook the hand Diana was offering. They looked embarrassed and shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the other. Sheepishly, they moved to one side.

‘Thank you. That’s so kind of you.’ Diana looked tenderly at each of them. ‘I hope you have a lovely day. Bye-bye, now.’

Max pushed the wheelchair onwards, and Dylan turned and saw me sitting on the post.‘Ello, puss,’ he said, and we had eye contact for a long moment. His eyes were turquoise and sparkly, but the sparkle was not astonishment, it was wariness, and a sense of being lost. I knew who he was instantly, by those compelling eyes. Dylan was Rocky’s father.

If only I could talk.

Chapter Nine

DROPPED

Max pushed the wheelchair, until the wide path ended at a shallow place where the river bubbled over stones. Amber charged into the water with everything flapping, and I followed TammyLee onto the bank. She picked me up.

‘You stay with mum, please,’ she said. ‘Dad and I are going swimming, just up there.’ She pointed upstream to the old stone bridge where Solomon had appeared. Below it was a shining pool. The river fascinated me. I wanted to follow it into the hills and watch the waterfalls and hear its music. There were streams cascading like threads of silver down from the iron-blue ridges of the hill. I wanted to explore them, and find a tiny pool where I could sit on a stone and catch sardines. There were sheep up there too, and baby lambs who might play with me.

I was too excited to do much cuddling and purring. TammyLee put me down on Diana’s lap.

‘Isn’t this WONDERFUL?’ Diana’s eyes shone. ‘Oh, it’s such a treat for me to seemy river. I love it so much. Thank you for bringing me.’ She reached up and pulled Max’s arm until he stooped and kissed her.

‘Will you be OK sitting here?’ he asked. ‘You can see us swimming, and when we come back and dry off, we’ll have the picnic.

‘I’ll be ecstatic!’ said Diana, while I dough-punched with my paws in the soft blanket she had over her knees. ‘And I’ve got Tallulah.’

TammyLee and Max stripped off their clothes down to their swimming gear, TammyLee in a bright green bikini, and Max in black swimming trunks. I sat up to watch what would happen.

‘You don’t have to stay with me, Tallulah,’ whispered Diana. ‘You go and be free and enjoy this lovely place. But come back, won’t you, darling? We love you so much.’

I kissed Diana on the nose, grateful for her understanding. With my tail flying, I ran after them, along the river, keeping out of Amber’s way as she was already dripping wet from nose to tail. The stone bridge was warm from the sun and I quickly found a perch out of reach of the splashes. Amber was swimming silently round and round the pool, with only her nose and eyes above the water and her tail streaming behind. Max was swimming like a frog, his chin out of the water. But TammyLee seemed transformed from the girl who marched around in clonky shoes. She was like a fish. Diving and twisting and rolling. She swam right under the water and the sunlight made webs of gold dance over her body, her hair swirled and, when she popped up for air, her face was dark pink and radiant. She looked more alive than she ever looked on land. Max soon tired and found a rock in the sun, where he sat, proudly watching his daughter. Amber clambered out and shook spirals of drops into the air, and, finally, TammyLee got out, andI stayed by myself, watching her walking back. Now was my chance to do some private hunting.

A flash of glass and a laugh caught my attention, and high up on the ridge of the hill, the three boys were sitting. One had binoculars and they were taking turns to watch TammyLee. Even though they were far away, my sensitive ears picked up a feeling of menace in their laughter, dark intention that rolled down the hillside like a rain cloud.

I looked back at the patch of sunlight where Diana sat in her wheelchair, her face lifted to the sky. My angel told me to go back to her, but first, I wanted to go up the river and explore.

So I pretended not to notice her. Only later did I get the message, for it was to be another terrible lesson. Never ignore your angel.

Under the dappled shade of trees, I followed the flowing water to a stream that joined the river. I trotted beside it, until I found a shallow fishing pool, where I sat, completely absorbed, waiting to see if any fish would come swimming into that clear water. I’d hook one out with my paw, and play with it as it jumped and flipped on the grass, and then I’d eat it, and catch another one.

My attention was so focused on the water that I ignored the footsteps and the loud voices coming down from the hillside.

‘Hey, guys, that’s TammyLee’s cat.’ It was the gruff voice of a young lad. ‘Puddy Puddy Puddy,’ he called, but I ignored him and wished they’d go away and leave me in peace. The tip of my tail was twitching with annoyance. If I’d been a human, I might have sworn at them.

‘I’m gonna get it,’ said one – Dylan.

‘Nah … leave it.’

‘Who are you telling what to do? It’s ’er cat, ain’t it?’

‘Whose?’

‘The girl in the pool, stupid. TammyLee. Spoiled bitch.’

The voices got louder and louder as they argued, but I continued staring into the water, waiting for a sardine to appear.

When the footsteps came right up behind me, I swung round and put my tail up, thinking Dylan was going to stroke me. Instead, he grabbed me by the scruff and held me up in the air.

‘Got ’im!’ he shouted. ‘D’you dare me to drop him in the river?’

‘Yeah. Drop ’er cat in the river. That’ll wind ’er up.’

The three of them were laughing loudly and egging each other on. They ran with me, and the boy had one hand clenching my scruff and the other gripping my back so hard his fingers were digging into my kidneys. I struggled and twisted, and flailed my claws, trying to scratch his cruel hands and make him let go of me. My nightmares came back in that moment. Joe chucking us in the hedge, Gretel throwing me out into the frosty night.‘That’s what happens to bad cats,’ she’d shrieked.

‘Drop ’im from the bridge,’ shouted one of the boys, as their shoes thudded and scuffed as they ran down to the bridge where I’d sat so happily in the sun. I was terrified. I couldn’t believe they were being so cruel to me. ‘Why? Why me?’ My only hope was that TammyLee might rescue me.

Now Dylan was holding me up in the air above the pool.

I looked at his crazy eyes and sent him a message:‘I saved your baby’s life. Don’t do this to me.’ But his aura had wine-red thorns like a rose in winter. He thought that dropping a cat in the river was going to cover his pain in glory. I glanced down, looking for TammyLee, but she’d gone and so had Max and Amber. My kidneys were hurting like fire, and all I wanted, as he held me over the water, was for him to let go of me – even if I was going to drown, I wanted the agony to stop. It hurt so much that I screamed and he let me go.

I fell down, down into the pool, hearing cheers and laughter and hands clapping. I hit the freezing water and went under, and the shock of it made my heart lurch painfully.

Icy water filled my mouth and rushed up my nose and into my ears. It was the worst experience of my life, even worse than the hot car. I forced my nose up and out of the water and kicked my paws the way I’d seen Amber doing. I didn’t know whether cats could swim, but I tried, even though my fur was full of water and my tail felt heavy as if it would drag me under.

I hated the noise those boys were making. They were laughing at me and chanting:‘The cat’s in the water! The cat’s in the water!’ And in the distance, TammyLee was screaming.

I swam in crazy circles, fighting the current, which was dragging me towards the weir. The pool looked vast; the banks with sun-warmed stones and grasses seemed far away. My paws got tired, I ached with the cold, my breathing was difficult as I coughed and spluttered.

I don’t know where Amber came from but she hurled herself into the water; the splash threw me all over the place, my neck straining to keep my head up. Then she was swimming vigorously towards me, her eyes bright with concern. She eased her warmth alongside me, and started to push me with her nose, nearer and nearer to the bank, until I crawled out and lay there, limp and shocked, my wet tail thin and shiny like a worm.

Amber crouched down beside me, licking and whining. I heard the boys escaping, the thud-thudding of their feet and the echo of their laughter.

Then, TammyLee came running. She was crying out loud and yelling swear words at the fleeing boys.

‘Poor, poor Tallulah!’ She scooped me up and held me against her warm body, against the vest with the green dragon on it, and my soaking fur was dripping down her jeans. She couldn’t stop crying, and Amber sat beside her, with water streaming from her coat, whining and offering her paw.

‘Thank you, Amber. Thank you. You are a brilliant dog,’ sobbed TammyLee, and she carried me quickly back to Max and Diana, and wrapped me in a warm towel.

‘Those bastard pig boys dropped her from the bridge,’ she wept. ‘How COULD they? How could they hurt Tallulah? She didn’t do anything wrong.’ TammyLee ranted, while I lay, shocked, wrapped in the towel on Diana’s lap. Her voice rose to a scream. ‘What is WRONG with the world? I don’t want to stay in it. Why has some pig of a boy got to ruin the nicest day we’ve had for ages? They won’t get away with it. I’ll find the evil little jerks and chuck them in the river. In fact, I’ll bloody drown them. I’ll …’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, girl!’ snapped Max. ‘And stop being a drama queen.’

TammyLee turned on him:‘Don’t you dare start on me. Don’t you criticise me for caring. You can’t tell me what to do. I’m old enough to quit school and get a job. Then who’s gonna look after Mum?

Max went white.‘I do know that,’ he said, tight-lipped. ‘This is not an appropriate time to raise major issues.’

I lay there, wishing they would be quiet. TammyLee was more upset than me. Diana put a kindly hand on her daughter’s back as she raged and sobbed.

‘Please try to calm yourself, sweetheart. Tallulah needs us to be quiet and help her recover. She needs healing, not revenge.’

TammyLee calmed down instantly, and Max walked away, tapping at his mobile phone.‘I’m ringing the police,’ he said. ‘Not that they’ll be interested,’

‘Yes, do that,’ said Diana, ‘but we must focus on this poor cat. We need to get her home, and call the vet.’

‘Tallulah’s not strong,’ said TammyLee, and her hand was still shaking as she touched me, ‘because of what she went through, and look how small she is inside all that fur. Darling cat. I love her so much, Mum, I’d die for her.’

‘I know, I know.’ Diana was smoothing me with the towel, and TammyLee knelt on the ground beside the wheelchair, drying my face and ears with a tissue. All I felt was deep gratitude for being loved like this.

‘She’s purring, Mum! Listen to her.’

At home, TammyLee sat in the garden with me on her lap, helping me recover from my ordeal. The warmth of her body, and the heat of the late-afternoon sun soaked into my bones, and my fur was soon dry and silky, though it smelled of the river. I did a lot of purring, but TammyLee couldn’t stop crying.

‘For goodness’ sake, girl,’ said Max impatiently. ‘The cat’s all right now, surely? You’ve been sitting there blubbing for two hours and there’s work to be done.’

‘I’m not moving. Tallulah needs me. And don’t call me “girl”.’

The flow of healing energy from her hands came to an abrupt end, as if Max’s voice had turned a switch. It wasn’t the first time I’d noticed the deadening effect he had on TammyLee’s spirit. She glared at Max, who stood at the kitchen door with a potato in one hand and a knife in the other.

‘Can’t you get supper for once?’ TammyLee snarled. ‘Or have you got to watch the boring old news? Again!’

‘No. As it happens, I’ve got to do boring old work to earn us boring old money to buy boring old food and pay boring old bills!’ shouted Max. He dropped the potato and it rolled, wobbling across the patio. I watched it, thinking about playing with it, and Max noticed the change in my body language.

‘There you are. Look at her. She wants to play again.’

‘No, she doesn’t.’ TammyLee scooped me into her arms and stood up. ‘I’m taking her upstairs. And you don’t need to PEEL POTATOES, Dad. Just get the chips out of the freezer, like the rest of us do.’

‘You treat that cat like a child,’ complained Max. My gaze emanated disapproval as I was carried upstairs. He couldn’t know how much that hurt TammyLee. How could he, when he didn’t know she’d lost the child she could have loved?

TammyLee put me down on her duvet and wound a fuzzy scarf round and round me like a bird’s nest. ‘You stay there, Tallulah. I’ve got to put Mum to bed.’ She sighed. ‘Meow if you want me.’

I watched her go into Diana’s room, and I wanted to follow her. But the warmth of the scarf was so sumptuous, and the rainbow colours of it seemed to be whirling round me. I was giddy, and the pain in my bruised kidneys was hard and sharp, as if Dylan’s fingers were still clenched around my spine. Without TammyLee there, I was suddenly afraid. What if he had damaged me? What if I couldn’t eat or pee? With that thought came an aftershock of pure misery. Why had that boy wanted to hurt and frighten me?

I sent out a telepathic scream to my angel, and she was there instantly, weaving her light into the rainbow scarf as she floated over the duvet.

‘There is a reason,’ she said. ‘You have been hurt to make something happen, to help you with your mission, Tallulah.’

Grumpy and tired, I didn’t respond the way you should do to an angel.

‘What mission?’ I growled, despite knowing perfectly well what it was.

‘Remember, you came here to reunite TammyLee with her child.’

‘I wish I’d never come here.’ The words heaved out of me like a cloud over the sun. It was an old familiar feeling – depression. The last time I’d had it was after Gretel left me in the car.

‘If it was an accident, I could deal with it,’ I said to my angel. ‘But I feel it’s bigger than that. I’m carrying the cruelty from across the world … all the hurt … it’s not physical. It’s coming to me from thousands of cats who’ve been tormented by humans.’

‘Purr,’ said my angel. ‘Come on, purr yourself to sleep, and I will take you on a celestial journey. You will awake with new knowledge.’

‘Knowledge!’ I moaned, and another wave of despair engulfed my spirit. ‘I never needed knowledge before. A cat knows everything it needs. But I don’t know HOW I can possibly do the mission I agreed to. How can a cat manage to reunite a mum with her baby? I can’t tell TammyLee where Rocky is.’

‘This knowledge will be given in spirit,’ said my angel. ‘Now, do as I asked. Purr.’

My first purr came out as a complaint, and it hurt right through my body.

‘Listen,’ said my angel. ‘Listen to the shining cats purring out there in another dimension.’

Relaxing a little, I listened, and, at first, heard only a murmur of voices from Diana’s room, and, from downstairs, the sound of Amber’s tail banging against the fridge and the snip-snip of scissors as Max cut off bits of bacon for her.

My angel began to hum a lullaby to me and a delicious drowsiness melted my pain into slumber. In my sleep, I heard the heavenly purring, saw the thistledown faces of spirit cats, their eyes like lamps burning around me, illuminating my dreams with an incandescence that was both healing and inviting.

‘Am I dying?’ I asked, but there was no answer except the humming, the purring and the whirling colours of the scarf. My angel kept repeating something like a mantra: ‘There is a reason, a reason …’ Her words became a cushion of stars, carrying me high above the house and the garden, above the river and the hills, then through the sky, faster and faster. So fast that the stillness of my sleep was tightly tucked around me, keeping me safe.

My spirit was intact, yet I felt like two cats who were separating. One was flying gloriously through endless sparkles, the other was lying limp and lifeless on TammyLee’s bed. From some distant place, I watched TammyLee come back into her bedroom and look closely at that tabby-and-white cat. ‘That’s me,’ I thought. ‘But I’m not supposed to die yet.’

Her long fingers slipped through my fur, the witchy-green nails shining. Her hand was suddenly still and she seemed to be listening, her face going pale like one of the cream roses in the garden.

‘Don’t die on me, Tallulah,’ she whispered. ‘Please, Tallulah.’

I saw the panic in her eyes, but I was detached, still in that distant starry place, no longer flying, but floating, closer and closer to the sequinned edges of my true home, the spirit world, where I was the Queen of Cats. Why had I ever left? I yearned to go back.

‘Why can’t I go in?’ I asked my angel.

‘It is not your time,’ she replied, and I searched her silver eyes for an explanation. ‘You are a brave cat, a bright spirit and you CAN complete your mission. Help is on the way. Feel the hand that is touching you.’

I focussed on TammyLee’s hand and it was trembling as she caressed the silky fur over my heart. She lay down and put her ear against me, the bobble of her earring pressing into me. She was listening for a heartbeat.

‘Purr,’ said my angel, but I couldn’t. I gazed at her. In her full colours, she was dazzling. ‘You are very ill, but remember, there is a healer for you. She gave you your name, Tallulah.’

A face drifted into my mind, manifesting through the web of stars, the girl with the long dark plait and the blazing light: Roxanne!

‘Send out the call,’ said my angel. ‘And she will come.’

‘I can’t,’ I said. ‘I can’t even purr.’

‘You can. You can think. And thinking has power. Think of Roxanne. Hold her face in your dreams. Tell her you need help.’

‘But it doesn’t work like that with humans,’ I argued.

‘Thinking has power. Just do it.’

I held Roxanne’s face in my mind, tightly in my dreams as the angel had said. At the same time I watched the pandemonium in the house as TammyLee flew into a panic. She carried me downstairs.

‘Dad … DO something. She’s dying.’

‘Don’t be RIDICULOUS.’

‘WHY can’t you believe me, Dad?’

Max came and looked at my limp body, and Amber came creeping along the floor, whimpering. I felt Max change from being angry to being the organiser.

‘Put her in the car. We’ll take her to the vet. Now,’ he said. ‘It might not be too late.’

I didn’t want to go in a car. I hated the vet. But I had no choice. Limp and hardly breathing, I could only lie in TammyLee’s arms as Max quickly locked the house door, got in and revved the engine, the wheels scrunching on gravel.

‘Focus on the healer,’ said my angel, and I held Roxanne in my mind.

‘Who are you phoning?’ Max asked sharply, as TammyLee tapped at her mobile in the car. ‘Damn these bloody traffic lights, they’re always bloody well red. Come on. Come on.’

Cats do believe in miracles. I’d forgotten about them. But one was happening right now in the back of Max’s speeding car.

‘Roxanne,’ said TammyLee.

She was phoning Roxanne. My angel was right! I’d sent out the call in my thoughts, and it must have arrived.

I heard Roxanne’s voice come through the phone. A mobile phone is a bit crude, but it’s the nearest thing humans have to real telepathy.

‘Penny from Cat’s Protection gave me your number,’ explained TammyLee, half talking, half crying. ‘Do you remember a tabby-and-white fluffy cat? Tallulah?

‘Of course! Beautiful Tallulah. I’m tuning into her right now.’ replied Roxanne. ‘What’s happened?’

‘These EVIL boys got hold of her and threw her … threw her …’ TammyLee couldn’t speak for the sobs of rage gusting through her as she remembered my ordeal.

‘Take a deep breath,’ said Roxanne.

‘In the river,’ TammyLee said. ‘We’re taking her to the vet right now. But it’s more than that, Roxanne … it … it’s deep emotional stuff … the hell of being bullied … and, God knows, I should understand THAT.’ She took another gulp of air.

‘Can we not have another drama when I’m driving?’ Max asked wearily.

‘She’s my best friend,’ explained TammyLee, ignoring Max. ‘She didn’t do anything. We got her out and dried her off, but I’m frightened they’ve hurt her in some other way … b … broken her back or something terrible … she hasn’t walked or put her tail up, and she’s gone limp.’

‘I’m not getting that,’ said Roxanne. ‘I’m sensing she’s bruised and shocked … see what the vet has to say and I’ll come over when you’ve got her home. Where do you live?’

‘Oh, thanks, Roxanne. River Cottage, just off the big roundabout by the park. Thanks, you’re a star!’

The next thing I knew was the smell of the vet’s place, the wailing of cats in cages in the waiting room, the cold of the table they put me on. The fear and the silence while he examined me with gentle hands, pulling each paw, checking my tail, squeezing my sore tummy. When he did that, it hurt and I heard myself let out a long mewling cry.

‘She’s bruised,’ he said. ‘Her legs are OK but she doesn’t want to stand up, does she? We’ll do a scan.’

While he was running the scanner over me, I could feel Roxanne coaxing me back from where I still hovered, gazing longingly into the spirit world.

‘I think she’s basically OK,’ the vet said, ‘but shock can affect cats very badly … worse than a human. I’ll give her a mild sedative and she’ll sleep for a few hours. Take her home and keep her warm.’

I opened my eyes then and saw TammyLee’s anxious face, and the glint of her bangles as she stroked me gently under the chin.

I remembered how much I loved her and I was so pleased to see her there, looking after me, that I managed a purr-meow.

‘Magic puss cat,’ she said, and smiled at me.

I was back.

The long sleep did me good, and, when I awoke, I found myself back on the bed with the rainbow scarf wound around me, and TammyLee was bringing Roxanne into the bedroom.

The two girls sat one each side of me and I felt as if the sun itself had come into the room. I wanted to love them both, so I stood up, stretched, and wove my way to and fro between them, rubbing my head against them, my tail brushing their bare arms.

‘She’s much better,’ said TammyLee. ‘Listen to her purring. Maybe she doesn’t need healing now.’

‘We’ll see,’ said Roxanne, and she picked me up and held me against her heart. ‘Sometimes, animals want to talk to me. I can hear their voices by telepathy.’

‘Can you? Wow! What do you want me to do?’

‘Just be here … and listen. If she wants me to, I’ll tell you what she’s saying. Please be very still and quiet.’

As before, Roxanne closed her eyes and talked to me in a language I understood: telepathy. First, we talked about the boys dropping me in the river and whether I hated them for it.

‘She’s telling me about the boys,’ said Roxanne out loud, ‘and we’re forgiving them.’

‘I shan’t,’ said TammyLee, and her eyes burned. ‘I’ll never forgive them. Never.’

‘Animals do,’ said Roxanne. ‘They forgive us and forgive us, no matter how many mistakes we make.’

‘But those evil jerks don’t deserve forgiveness.’

‘But you do. You deserve to do the forgiving. It heals you. You are letting go of a burden,’ said Roxanne.

TammyLee looked confused.‘No one’s ever said that to me before,’ she said, frowning. ‘I can’t get my head round it.’

‘It’s your heart that needs to forgive, not your head,’ said Roxanne, in a quiet, hypnotic voice. ‘Your heart is full of love and light. There’s no room in it for hatred and blame.’

‘So … how do you do it?’

‘You just let go, my darling. Like a big stone you have carried up a steep mountain … it’s been dragging you down … but now, let it go and watch it rolling away, and you feel light and free as a bird.’

She spoke passionately, and TammyLee listened intently, shaking her head a little.

‘Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to listen to Tallulah,’ said Roxanne, and both girls kept still and quiet. Overjoyed to have a listener, I told Roxanne everything. How I, the Queen of Cats, had come here to reunite a mother with her baby, how I had found Rocky and kept him warm, as a tiny baby. Then, how I’d found him again and didn’t know how I could convey information to TammyLee. I asked Roxanne to tell her.

What I didn’t expect was the shattering effect it would have on TammyLee.

Chapter Ten

NEVER, NEVER, EVER

Roxanne was hesitating to speak the words I’d given her. She was trying to change its meaning. I sighed and patted her face with my paw.

‘So, what is Tallulah telling you?’ asked TammyLee, her eyes wide open and thirsty for the information.

‘She’s … giving me a name …’ said Roxanne, carefully, and she put a hand on TammyLee’s arm.

‘A name? What name?’

‘Rocky.’

TammyLee stiffened, her aura turning to hard bright steel, like a suit of armour.

‘So … what about Rocky?’ she asked after a long pause.

‘I … I’m not sure I should tell you … it … well … it might be painful for you, darling,’ said Roxanne kindly, and I gave her concerned face another pat – ‘but Tallulah wants me to. It’s important to her, and she’s been frustrated because she can’t tell you.’

‘Tell me what?’

I paid attention to the intense eye contact between the two women, and the way TammyLee looked like a child on the edge of a stormy sea, afraid, but wanting to go in.‘Tallulah is the Queen of Cats in the spirit world,’ said Roxanne. ‘Are you comfortable with that kind of stuff?’

‘Yeah … I mean … well, she would be, wouldn’t she?’ TammyLee smiled. ‘I always knew she was magic.’

I stepped gently on to her lap, and curled up there, doing the most calming kind of purr I could muster. She had to listen. I would keep her still and quiet.

‘Is that it then?’ asked TammyLee.

‘No … there’s more … about Rocky.’

‘Go on.’

‘Tallulah wants you to know she saved Rocky’s life when he was a tiny baby. She stayed all night with him and kept him warm.’

TammyLee gasped. I looked at her eyes and they were flooded with fear that seemed to be erupting from some deep dark well in her soul. I cuddled close.

‘There’s more,’ said Roxanne. ‘This cat is like a guardian angel.’

‘Go on.’

‘Tallulah came here to support you, TammyLee. She adores you. And … and …’

‘Oh, I know that. I adore her.’

TammyLee relaxed for a second, and took a deep breath. Roxanne was still staring at her intently, and, in the moment of silence, I could hear Amber coming upstairs. Her nails clicked along the landing and she peeped round the door.

‘Aw … look at that,’ said Roxanne. ‘Is this Amber? Isn’t she beautiful? She’s come to love you.’

Amber sidled up to TammyLee and sat down, leaning her warm bulk against her legs.

‘She knows,’ said TammyLee, stroking the dog’s silky ears.

‘Animals do. They know, and they forgive, and they don’t judge us.’

‘So … what else did Tallulah tell you?’

‘She wants you to know that she has found Rocky, and, when the time is right, she will lead you to him.’

I’d thought TammyLee would be pleased, but she wasn’t. She went white. Her eyes hardened and she stood up and put me back on Roxanne’s lap. She looked at the window, and the door and up at the ceiling. Then she stalked over to the open door, slammed it shut and turned to face us, leaning against it. Her knees were shaking and her green eyes shone like the river water.

‘Don’t tell my dad,’ she pleaded in a whisper, ‘or my mum. Or anyone. If you tell anyone about Rocky, I’ll kill myself. I mean it.’

She was shaking so hard it made the door rattle. We all looked at her … Roxanne, Amber and me … and in that moment, I saw TammyLee’s angel holding her in a cocoon of misty light, and the angel looked sad.

‘Don’t worry … I won’t.’ Roxanne didn’t look surprised at all.

‘Thanks.’ TammyLee moved away from the door and went to the mirror. She started coiling her hair into a bun and wiping the smudges off her checks with a round white pad she took from a pot. ‘I’ve been in such a state all day,’ she said, ‘and I’ve got my GCSE maths exam on Monday andmy mum to look after. I’ve gotta get my act together. I have to stay functional … I can’t fall apart.’ She leaned close to the mirror and brushed mascara onto her eyelashes, acting as if she didn’t care and didn’t want us around.

‘I’d better go.’ Roxanne gave me a kiss and put me down next to Amber.

‘Yeah … thanks, Roxanne. Appreciate it,’ said TammyLee, but she didn’t glance up from the mirror.

‘I’ll come again if you need me.’

‘Cool. Might do.’

‘Are you sure you’re OK?’

‘Yeah … I’m good.’

After Roxanne had gone, TammyLee came over to the bed and looked at it. She smoothed the quilt, and then collapsed, curled up in a ball and went to sleep almost instantly. Amber wasn’t supposed to go on the bed but she climbed up there and stretched out against TammyLee’s back, and I curled up with my head on her chest. The three of us slept and slept until it was dark, and, when Max put his head round the door, I stared at him until he went away.

We all needed to sleep, and let the day fold up into the night like a damaged flower, best forgotten.

I was better in the morning, well enough to go downstairs, eat my breakfast and sit in the window in the morning sun. It looked as if everything was back to normal, until Max had a go at TammyLee.

We were out on the patio, and TammyLee had her face in a mug of coffee, with a maths book spread out on the garden table. Amber was rolling on the lawn, and Diana sat in her wheelchair, drinking from a funny little cup with gold squiggles on it. I sat quietly on the cushion next to TammyLee, dreaming of the time when we could go to the river again and I could resume my sardine fishing.

Then Max’s aura caught my attention. He was on guard, like a dog, tense and suspicious. His coffee sat untouched on the table, his newspaper folded on his lap, and he was staring into the sky, then glancing at TammyLee with questions simmering in his eyes. He kept taking a breath, as if to speak, then changing his mind.

‘That boy …’ he said, eventually. ‘What was his name again?’

‘Dylan,’ said TammyLee, without looking up. ‘And I’m trying to revise, Dad.’

‘Do you know him?’ asked Max, his eyes bright with suspicion.

‘Yeah. He was a year ahead of me in school. He’s left now, Dad.’

‘So what’s he doing now?’

TammyLee shrugged.‘How should I know?’

‘I don’t like his attitude,’ said Max, frowning.

‘He’s just a lad,’ said Diana. ‘You were like that once.’

‘I most certainly was not. I’d never have dared speak to an adult like he did. Rude, he was, and arrogant. If there’s one thing I abhor, its insolence.’

‘Oh, don’t go on about it, Dad. I’m trying to study.’

Max stood up and banged his newspaper on the table.

‘Answer my question, girl.’

TammyLee sighed.‘I don’t know,’ she repeated edgily. ‘And you’re being rude, calling me “girl”.’

‘Well, I didn’t like the way he spoke to you, or the way he looked at you. He openly threatened you. Didn’t you hear what he said?’

‘Look, Dad, it’s pretty typical. All mouth and trousers,’ said TammyLee.

‘Well, I hope you haven’t been associating with him.’

TammyLee glared at Max.‘Who I make friends with is my business, not yours. And, in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve got an EXAM tomorrow. You just don’t listen, do you?’

‘She has,’ said Diana. ‘I think you should leave this for another time, Max. We had enough drama yesterday. Let’s have some peace.’

‘You can’t have peace when there are issues to be discussed,’ said Max. His back was rigid, his cheeks twitching as he looked at TammyLee, who was doing her best to ignore him. I just sat quietly, looking at the dark pink colour that was creeping up TammyLee’s neck and over her face. I wished Max would leave her alone. Amber was thinking the same, her brown eyes moving anxiously from one to the other.

‘Leave it for now, Max,’ Diana insisted. Her face was white, her eyes like black bubbles, and her hands looked luminous, as if she was made of glass. I sensed that she was very ill. Like me, she had been to the distant shores of the spirit world, and returned, many times.

‘All right. For now.’ Max picked up his newspaper and shook it open. He glowered at TammyLee. ‘If you didn’t speak to me so rudely, young lady, I’d be more prepared to listen.’

TammyLee rolled her eyes and Diana put a hand on her arm. A secret smile passed between them. I wondered what would happen when she died. Would TammyLee leave? Would she take me with her?

I’d met some cats who lived their whole lives in one place, with one family, and they were contented. They didn’t know how lucky they were. You’d think that I, the Queens of Cats, would be given a life of luxury and stability. But so far, my life had been full of change and anxiety. I wasn’t sure I could cope with much more of it.

Only Amber knew when I was anxious. Now, she put her paws up on the windowsill, her tail wagging, and gazed at me with shining eyes. I gave her a kiss, and jumped down to sit close to her warm comforting body. We were best mates, Amber and I, no matter what the humans were doing. My bond with her was precious.

TammyLee was trying to focus on her exam, but I sensed that Rocky was uppermost in her mind. When she came home from school, I ran to meet her, and she seemed happy.

‘That’s IT!’ she said joyfully, as she picked me up. ‘The last exam is over. I’ve made a mess of it, but I don’t really care, Tallulah. I’m going to be a hairdresser, no matter what Dad says.’

She carried me up to her bedroom and I sat, looking at her, waiting. I knew what was lurking under the joy. Sadness, guilt and a mother’s grief at losing her child.

‘It has to come out,’ my angel had said, ‘and you must be there.’

So I sat, and looked into her soul, and waited.

The exams were over. TammyLee had a space in front of her, and, like a summer sky, it darkened in seconds with the thundercloud of emotions she’d been suppressing for the last year.

‘You know … about Rocky, Tallulah,’ she whispered, and started twisting her bangles round and round her arm, pinching them together and letting them fall, clinking and twinkling down to her wrist. ‘I think about him every day,’ she said. ‘It’s like … he’ll never leave me alone, Tallulah. I … I so wish I’d cuddled him … he was gorgeous … he had such bright, knowing eyes … and cute little hands that looked like mine … How could I have … done what I did? He’ll never forgive me and I’ll never forgive myself. I’m so wicked, Tallulah …thank you for loving me … I don’t deserve you. Oh, what am I going to do?’

She cried out as the storm of remorse broke into her summer. It was loud, and unstoppable. I heard Amber whining and padding upstairs, her tail down as she came round the door and sat close, her chin on the bed. Then I heard the tap and shuffle of Diana’s Zimmer frame as she dragged herself into TammyLee’s bedroom, her eyes brimming with concern.

‘What is it, darling?’

TammyLee shook her head violently.‘I can’t tell you, Mum.’

‘You can, just take your time.’ Diana manoeuvred herself onto TammyLee’s bed, and took her daughter’s hot head into her frail arms, stroking her back and twiddling strands of her hair, which were escaping from the fiercely pinned bun.

TammyLee tore at it and shook it loose.‘I can’t STAND my hair, it’s driving me bonkers and I’m too hot,’ she moaned, and Diana picked up a magazine and began to fan her daughter’s face with it.

‘But what’s really wrong?’ she asked. ‘Something’s been bugging you for a long, long time, TammyLee … don’t think I haven’t noticed. It’s OK, love, you know you can tell me anything … I won’t tell your Dad … I promise.’

‘I can’t.’ TammyLee shook her head. She stared at Diana. ‘You shouldn’t have got out of bed, Mum. I’ll get your tea now and sort you out.’

‘No, sweetheart, I don’t need anything and I’m going to sit here until you tell me what’s wrong,’ said Diana. ‘I can’t bear to see you suffer like this. Tallulah’s all right now. Your exams are over. So what is it?’

TammyLee was silent, her fingers pulling a long gold thread out of a cushion.

‘Is it … looking after me?’ Diana asked, and TammyLee shook her head, her eyes staring out of the window.

‘As long as I’m alive, you’ll never be free,’ said Diana seriously. ‘I worry for you. It’s not the kind of life I dreamed of for my only daughter. I dreamed of you being happy. Growing up and meeting a lovely young man, and, eventually … grandchildren! I’d so love to be a granny.’

‘Oh, Mum!’ TammyLee pulled harder at the long golden thread she was extracting from a cushion. She wound it tightly round her fingers and seemed to be holding her breath. Obviously, Diana’s comment had made things worse. The silence went on so long that I felt I should meow, and, when I did, they both looked at me. I could see the desperation in TammyLee’s eyes, and I wanted to help. Moving softly, I crept onto her lap and stretched my paws over her heart. But still she was silent, and I tried so hard to communicate telepathically with Diana.

Something must have got through, for Diana was looking intently at her daughter, trying to get eye contact.

‘What is it, darling?’ she asked. Then, in the long silence, Diana reached out her hand to touch TammyLee’s shoulder. ‘You’re not … not …?’ She took a deep breath. ‘You’re not pregnant, are you love? You know I’d stand by you if you were.’

‘No, Mum. It’s OK. You don’t have to give me the birds-and-bees stuff.’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

‘Well, are you going to unpick that whole cushion?’ Diana’s eyes danced with gentle humour. ‘Or shall we start on the sofa?’

TammyLee smiled.

‘You’re amazing, Mum,’ she said, and the tension had passed … until the next time, I thought. One day, TammyLee will tell Diana about Rocky.

But later, when I was curled up on her bed, TammyLee whispered to me fiercely:‘Mum and Dad must never know about Rocky. Never, never, EVER.’

Chapter Eleven

DYLAN

It didn’t take me long to recover from being dropped in the river. I had a happy home, and lots of love and attention. TammyLee spoiled me with the best food, and a fishy tasting tablet she gave me daily. ‘For your coat,’ she said, and my tabby and white fur was thick and glossy. She brushed me a lot, so I didn’t have the hassle of sorting out matted tufts of hair. She examined my paws, and my eyes, and even my teeth, to make sure I was healthy. I couldn’t have been a more pampered cat.

I responded by showing the family how to have fun. I didn’t need TV or a computer. A cardboard box was my favourite, and TammyLee made one with little doors and holes I could pop in and out of and dark corners where I could hide toys and treasures. That summer, I developed a lot of new skills. Like opening zips on handbags. A zip made me dance with excitement if it had a toggle I could pull. The fun was in discovering the amazing stuff inside handbags … soft things and shiny things. Lipstick cases were what I liked. Those were fantastic to chase across the floor and under the sofa.

Best of all were the squeals of laughter from visitors when I cheekily opened a new handbag, put my paw inside and took things out. If there was a money purse, I pulled it out between my teeth, as if it was a piece of chicken, and that always raised the loudest laugh. Then I circled round it, working out how to get it open, and I usually succeeded. The pound coins were brilliant for batting across the polished wood floor. I meowed at TammyLee, until she picked one up and cleverly made it spin or roll for me to chase. But after one incident, I wasn’t allowed the bits of crackly paper. I’d shredded a banknote and even Amber had disapproved.

‘You’re pushing your luck,’ she said. ‘I used to chew shoes and books if I could get one, and once, Max actually growled at me, as if he wanted to be a dog, and he smacked me with his newspaper. Money, and shoes, and books are important to humans.’

Summer rolled on, and Amber and I were carefree and happy. TammyLee was on holiday, and she took us out every day to the park and along the river.

I still loved the river, despite my ordeal, but now I was very, very wary. The sound of boys’ voices made me hide, or run to TammyLee, who could carry me. Amber chased any dogs who barked at me, and I soon worked out a route high in the trees, as if I were a monkey, running and leaping through the branches. It was great.

I hoped that one day, we would meet Kaye and Rocky. I watched women with pushchairs from my perches in the trees. I planned to go racing over to them, and sit on Rocky’s lap. Then TammyLee would have to collect me, and she’d meet Rocky.

But it didn’t happen. Kay and Rocky were nowhere to be seen.

Everywhere we went on those days of golden sun, TammyLee carried in her heart the shadow of her lost baby, and the guilt of what she had done. It was hard for me to keep believing I could bring them together.

‘There is a plan,’ my angel said. ‘You don’t need to do anything, Tallulah. The love you are giving is precious and healing for TammyLee.’

I’d established a place in the garden where I talked to my angel regularly. It was under an apple tree, where I often settled down in the dappled sunlight to sleep and to listen to the buzz of wasps clustered around the fallen apples.

‘Watch the swallows,’ my angel said, ‘and when you see them gathering on the wires, they are leaving and, this autumn, everything will change, not just for you, but for the whole community. There will be a time of change, a time when you must stay indoors, away from the river.’

‘Why?’ I asked, puzzled. ‘I like the river and so does Amber.’

‘It looks tranquil now,’ said my angel, ‘but in the winter it will roar like a lion, and the water will be tawny gold and foaming, like the mane of a lion.’

‘But why?’

‘Because it will be winter.’

Winter. I remembered winter in Gretel’s garden. The soil knobbly and locked together with ice crystals so that I couldn’t scratch it up when I needed to. The lawn with blue shadows on crisp white grass. The trees coated in ice. The birds desperate and hungry, easy to catch. What did winter have to do with a lion?

‘Be happy while you can,’ said my angel. ‘Before the winter, TammyLee will have something very hard to deal with. It could go either way … like when you were ill, you were caught in the golden land between life and death, a land that sparkles and sustains, but sends you back to live your life and do the task you agreed. Believe me, TammyLee will need your love.’

‘So … lots of purring, and stay away from the river. Is that it?’ I asked.

‘That’s it, for now.’

Soon after I had watched the swallows leaving on their long journey, I noticed a change in TammyLee’s routine.

She had started college, part-time, training to be a hairdresser.

‘Wasting your life. Wasting it,’ Max ranted at her. ‘Doing people’s HAIR, for goodness’ sake. Subscribing to vanity. When you were bright enough to go to university.’

At first, TammyLee argued with him, but mostly she rolled her eyes and ignored him.

‘I can’t wait to get away from Dad,’ she told me in private, ‘get my own flat and have some peace. I only stay here because of Mum. She needs me, and I love her, Tallulah. I wish she could get better.’

One day, I had a terrible shock. I’d been off on my own all afternoon, catching mice, exploring other people’s gardens and going through their cat flaps. I could tell from the shadows that it was time for the college bus to bring TammyLee home. So I hurried back. Instead of going under the gate, I climbed the high wooden fence, intending to sit up there and watch for the bus.

I looked down into the garden, and a pair of insolent eyes were staring back at me. Sitting under the apple tree was a young man dressed in black, his bare shoulders gleaming in the sun. He was eating an apple from the tree in loud bites.

I froze. It was HIM. Sitting inour garden, in MY favourite spot. What was he doing there?

Fear and anger kinked and coiled like two snakes in my mind. While he was there, I didn’t dare to jump down from the fence and I wanted to go through the cat flap and get my tea. I couldn’t go home!

He looked up at me, and I saw guilt in his eyes.‘Glad you survived,’ he said, and when I stared stonily back, he added: ‘I’m sorry, puss … sorry I did that to you … I ain’t gonna ’urt you now. I’ve changed, see? Come on, get down.’ He clicked his fingers. ‘Puddy puddy puddy …’

I understood that cats were often addressed as‘Pussy’, which was OK … but ‘Puddy’ was so insulting to my status as Tallulah. I added contempt to my stony stare.

With a casual flick of his wrist, he chucked the apple core against the fence with a bang. The red and white pieces scattered into a clump of asters, upsetting bees and butterflies who were gathering nectar.

I wasn’t prepared to trust him, and I had a quick decision to make. Should I run down the road to meet TammyLee? Or save myself from this monster who had dropped me in the river? I knew I could move faster than he could, but I was still scared that he would cross the lawn in long strides and snatch me from the fence. I had to get out of his reach.

I crawled along the fence like a caterpillar, my tail down, my claws clinging. Instinct made me move stealthily, so that nothing would want to chase me. One paw at a time, I reached the end of the fence where it adjoined the house. I scrambled up some ivy and onto the roof. I’d never been on the roof, so I picked my way over the tiles, which were prickly with lichen. Flicking my ears back to catch any sound from Dylan, I walked to the high ridge of the roof, stretched myself over a nicely rounded, sunbaked tile, and pretended to wash. It wouldn’t do to let that boy see I was intimidated by him. Washing was the ultimate put-down, and a good way of observing him without seeming to do so.

He looked smaller, down there on the lawn, and kind of lonely. Why was he there? Was he waiting for TammyLee? And why wasn’t Amber barking? Then I remembered that, earlier in the day, Max had gone off in the car with Diana in the front seat and Amber wagging her tail in the back. So I was alone in the place.

From the roof, there was a view of the road and the river glinting between the trees. I resolved to spend more time on this lovely roof, despite being dive-bombed by two jackdaws who didn’t appreciate having me on their patch. Glancing down at Dylan sitting under the apple tree, I found myself fascinated by his aura. Unlike when I first encountered him, it was now unexpectedly bright. Mostly blue and green with an outer edge of gold. Being a healing cat, I examined it in some detail, looking first at the area where his heart would be, and it was dark with pain.

I saw that Dylan was carrying the loneliness of anger. He was so angry that the friends he needed wouldn’t go near him.

‘You are doing brilliantly, Tallulah.’ The voice startled me, and I was surprised to see my angel on the roof with me. I’d been so focused on Dylan.

‘Just don’t ask me to go down there,’ I said.

‘I never ask you to do something unless I know you can,’ said my angel. In that moment, my spiritual vision was full on, and even the trees had webs of light around them. I gazed at my angel, remembering that she was the Angel of Secrets.

‘Is something going to happen?’ I asked.

‘Wait and see. Sit up and look majestic,’ she advised. ‘And remember … Dylan has an angel too.’

I fluffed my fur and sat up, aware of the radiance around me and the sunlight shining on my white chest, my eyes golden and alert.

TammyLee paused at the garden gate, staring at Dylan sitting under the apple tree. Her face hardened with rage, and she burst through the gate in a fury.

‘What the HELL are YOU doing here?’

Dylan didn’t move. Only his foot started to tap-tap at the grass. His eyes burned blue as he looked steadily at TammyLee.

‘GET THE HELL OUT of my garden!’ she screamed, and flew at him like a fighting cat, attacking him with her bag. It glittered wildly as she swung it at his head. Dylan put his hands up to defend himself, but he didn’t fight back.

‘Calm down, will you?’ he said.

‘Don’t tell ME to calm down. What are you doing here? And where’s my cat? You’d better not have hurt her. If you touch my cat EVER AGAIN, I’ll bloody kill you. Get the FUCK out of our garden.’

She swung the bag at his head and her precious mobile flew out and landed on the lawn. She snatched it up.

‘I’m phoning my Dad, if you don’t go.’

Dylan’s eyes were so powerful that when he turned them to look at something, everyone else would look at it too. So TammyLee followed his stare, and saw me sitting majestically on the roof. I meowed at her.

‘The cat’s OK, see? I ain’t touched ’er,’ said Dylan.

TammyLee had her keys in her hand and I could see she was working out whether to run into the house and slam the door, or run away, or stay there. She stood glowering down at Dylan, her boots planted wide apart, her hair twinkling with skeins of tiny stars she had woven into it.

‘You know I do kick-boxing,’ she said, ‘and I don’t want to have to use it on you.’

‘Yeah. It don’t faze me, babe.’

‘And don’t call me “babe”.’

Dylan stretched out his hand to her.‘Will you sit down? Please, TammyLee. For five minutes? I didn’t come here to make trouble. I got something to say to you. Please?’

‘Why should I?’

‘Why shouldn’t you? Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna touch you, babe. I’m just asking you to listen. Please, TammyLee. I promise I’ll go away, if you will just hear what I have to say.’ He lowered his voice and it was barely audible.

‘Go closer,’ said my angel. ‘Be brave, Tallulah. TammyLee needs you.’

When I saw TammyLee sit down on the grass beside Dylan, I meowed, and made my way down the roof. There was a silence as both of them watched me make a scary jump onto the fence.

‘Tail up,’ said my angel, and I managed that as well. But I wasn’t going to jump down into the garden.

TammyLee got up and came to fetch me. I cuddled into her, purring and kissing her hot face, but I was tense with fear as she sat down next to Dylan.

‘Go on then … say it,’ she demanded.

‘Look … I’m sorry.’ Dylan’s eyes looked down at the ground. ‘I don’t know what got into me that day. I apologise, unreservedly, for what I did to the cat. I don’t suppose you’ll ever forgive me … but there you are, I’ve said sorry and it wasn’t easy.’

‘Hearts and flowers!’ said TammyLee, sarcastically. ‘Why don’t you say sorry to the cat? She’s called Tallulah, and she’s a rescue cat and she … she’s my best mate.’

Dylan nodded. He tried to make eye contact with me, but I refused it. He tried to touch my fur, but when I felt his finger, I tensed. My claws dug into TammyLee’s pink top. I stopped purring and growled like a dog.

‘She doesn’t trust you. Best leave her alone,’ said TammyLee, and she stroked me until I relaxed. ‘If you knew what she’s been through, you wouldn’t have been so cruel, Dylan. And look what you’ve lost … the love and friendship of a beautiful cat. That’s something precious to me.’

‘Yeah, I get it.’ Dylan tore a leaf from a nearby plant and began to shred it. ‘Pity you don’t feel the same about babies.’

TammyLee stiffened.‘What d’you mean by that? I love little children.’

Dylan raised his eyebrows. He was ominously silent for another painful minute. We all listened to my purring, and the chattering of sparrows. We watched a butterfly feeding on a rotten apple, its wings like jewels in the dappled sunlight. Under my paws, TammyLee’s heart began to thud at double its normal speed.

Then Dylan dropped his bombshell.

‘I want to know what happened, TammyLee. What happened to our baby?’

‘What baby?’ she fired, lifting her chin defiantly. I could feel the lies queuing up in her mind.

‘Don’t pretend you don’t know,’ Dylan insisted, his voice quiet.

‘Idon’t know.’

‘The baby we made together, that day we skived off the school harvest festival. Come on, TammyLee … you told me at the end of term that you were pregnant. Come on, admit it.’

TammyLee was holding me with one hand and ripping up blades of grass with the other. She pursed her lips and refused to look at Dylan.

‘Look, I know I did a stupid thing,’ he said, ‘when you said you were pregnant – I couldn’t get my head round it and I walked away. And you screamed after me. Remember? You said you never wanted to see me again.’

‘I was fourteen, and I didn’t want sex with you, Dylan.’

‘Oh, come on, yes, you did.’

‘I DID NOT. You just got me drunk with that bottle of stuff you said was only cider. Then you took advantage of me because you knew I hadn’t got a life ’cause I look after my mum. I could have reported you for rape, but I didn’t.’

‘No, you just dumped me, didn’t you?’ Dylan’s eyes darkened with pain. ‘One minute you were crazy about me, telling everyone I was hot, and the next minute you were acting like I never existed. It hurt. I know I act the hard man and stuff, but I do have feelings, and I actually did loveyou.’

‘Is that why you dropped my cat in the river?’

‘No … I s’pose I just wanted to hurt you back somehow.’

There was another painful silence. I shuffled around and put my chin on TammyLee’s heart so that she could feel my loud purring. But I didn’t want to be there, in the middle of this fierce argument. I wanted to be in the kitchen, eating my tea in peace. I wanted to curl up on Amber’s bed and wait for her to come back and lie with me, and tell me about her trip to thebeach.

‘I respected you, for the way you look after your mum,’ Dylan said, ‘but I don’t have a home life and stuff like you. I live in a no-hopers’ flat and I’ve only got my mum and she’s pissed off with me most of the time. That day, when you told me you were pregnant, I was really immature. I got to thinking about it later, and actually dreaming about being a dad.’

TammyLee was quieter now. She was listening to him, and stroking me along my back and rubbing behind my ears with her fingers.

‘I watched you,’ continued Dylan, ‘all those months, and you were getting a bump. You just wore loose clothes and told everyone you were bingeing on junk food.’

‘So?’

‘So what happened? What happened to OUR baby? TammyLee, I’m not leaving until you tell me.’

‘I miscarried.’ TammyLee spat the words out like a tablet she couldn’t swallow.

Dylan stood up, and so did she, still holding me.

‘I … don’t … believe you,’ he said, forcefully, and his eyes narrowed.

‘Suit yourself.’

He took a step forward and put his face close to us. I felt TammyLee begin to tremble.

‘Get this, you lying bitch,’ Dylan hissed. ‘I intend to find out what you really did. I know when our baby should have been born … round about the eighteenth of May, I reckon. I read the papers, see? And I watch the news. I can find it all online … and if I find out you dumped him somewhere, I’ll take a DNA test, and YOU are going to take responsibility for what you did to MY baby. No one messes with me, or my family.’

With a final glare of his blue eyes, he left the garden in three strides, vaulted the gate into the road, and we listened to the thud-thud of his footsteps going away.

TammyLee was cold and shaking all over. She cried into my fur.

‘Oh, God, Tallulah. What am I going to DO?’

Chapter Twelve

A DARK AFTERNOON

I first encountered Dylan’s mum on a dark autumn afternoon. The leaves were falling in shoals, blowing along the road and piling into corners and gateways. I was sitting in a nest I’d made in the hedge, a cosy hiding place near the gate. I’d come outside for some thinking time, leaving the family clustered round the television, watching weather reports.

‘There’s now a red alert for prolonged, heavy rain,’ Max had said. ‘I’d better go and get some sandbags. We don’t want the river in the garden again.’

I didn’t know what he meant. I asked Amber, and she didn’t know either. But I remembered what my angel had said about the river being like a lion in the winter, and it made me uneasy. My instinctive attunement to the natural world gave me a sense of something ominous, a massive storm prowling out over the sea. I could feel its shadow, and taste its salt on the wind.

TammyLee had been full of anxiety since Dylan’s visit. Yet she continued to look after Diana and clean the house with breathtaking efficiency. She seemed able to flick a switch and suddenly become calm and cheerful, and proud of her ability to be her mum’s carer. She told no one, except me, of her private torment over Rocky.

‘Every day of my life, I think about Rocky,’ she often said, ‘and every day I hate myself for what I did. I might never see him again in my whole life, and I want to, so much. Supposing I couldn’t ever have another baby? And I’m so scared, Tallulah, you’re my only friend. I’m scaredI’ll go to prison if Dylan finds out. Oh, what am I going to DO?’

I could only be with her, and kiss her face, and purr, but the autumn days raced on and nothing happened.

Until today.

The heavy footsteps woke me up and I saw a pair of swollen, purple legs coming through the gate, and another set of legs in black boots and jeans. Dylan!

His mum was a mountain of a woman, her aura fizzling with indignation as she waddled down the path with Dylan slouching behind her, his eyes downcast. She didn’t use the doorbell, but banged the door with her fist.

Amber barked and barked, but she knocked again.‘I ain’t scared of your bloody dog. Come on, answer. I ain’t going nowhere ’til you’ve ’eard what I got to say.’ She sniffed loudly.

Alarmed, I ran, low to the ground, round the side of the house to the kitchen door, through the cat flap and under the sofa where I felt safe.

Max was getting up out of his armchair.

‘Who on earth is that? Stop barking, Amber.’

Amber ran to his side, her hackles ridged along her back. Max took her by the collar, dragged her into the conservatory and shut the door.‘QUIET. On your bed, now.’

He opened the front door, and Dylan’s mum came billowing into the hall.

‘Excuse me … I don’t recall inviting you in,’ protested Max, but his voice just blew away through the open door like a discarded leaf. Ignoring him, she barged into the lounge, with Dylan following, looking lost and sullen in her intimidating presence.

There was no place to hide. Diana was lying on the sofa with a blue blanket over her, and TammyLee was sitting in the chair beside her, engrossed in playing with her mobile.

‘Is that ’er?’ Dylan’s mum asked him, jerking her thumb at TammyLee.

‘Yeah.’

‘Right, you … you got some explaining to do, my girl.’ Dylan’s mum folded her fat arms. ‘And I ain’t leaving ’til you come clean about what YOU did with MY grandchild.’

TammyLee couldn’t seem to find words to reply.

In the shocked silence that followed, the house was filled with the roar of heavy rain. Max stood up and assembled the shreds of his authority.

‘And you are?’ he asked acidly.

‘’Is mum.’ She jerked a thumb at Dylan, who was shuffling from one foot to the other. ‘Iris Fredrickson.’

‘Well now, Iris Fredrickson … what gives you the right to barge into our home, uninvited? Especially with this … this boy in tow. He’s not welcome here, and neither are you. So kindly leave.’

‘I don’t take no notice of the likes of you,’ Iris said, looking contemptuously at Max. ‘Think you’re so bloody good, don’t you? Well, your daughter is a lying whore.’

TammyLee leaped to her feet.

‘I AM NOT,’ she hissed. ‘You don’t even know me.’

‘Don’t want to, either.’

‘You’ve no idea who I am or what kind of life I have,’ TammyLee said. ‘You only know what Dylan’s told you. He feels guilty about dropping my cat in the river … animal cruelty that was … I could have reported him for it … so he’s just winding you up with stuff he’s fabricating to get attention. That’s what he is, an attention seeker. Everyone knows that.’

‘Now you listen to me, my girl.’ Iris moved closer and jabbed a fat finger at TammyLee’s face.

‘No, you listen.’ TammyLee stamped her foot, and even from under the sofa, I could feel the heat of her anger. I wished I was a tiger that could leap out and defend her. ‘I don’t have a life like most girls my age. I come home from college and care for my mum,’ she said, waving a hand at Diana, who was calmly watching.

‘That don’t make you a saint,’ said Iris.

‘WHAT is this about?’ demanded Max. ‘Will someone please tell me?’ He looked searchingly from one to the other, while torrents of rain lashed at the windows. It was nearly dark outside, but inside the fire flickered orange, and there was light that only I could see. It was the shine of angels who were mostly around Diana.

I chose that moment to emerge from under the sofa. I had to help. With my tail up and eyes bright, I was aware of the empowering light as I stood there bravely, a very small cat in the midst of angry, towering humans. Who should I go to? I wanted to be with Diana, or TammyLee– that would have been the obvious choice. But I looked at Iris, first. I’d seen her swollen legs coming through the gate and her fist thumping the door. Now I looked for her eyes, which were embedded in the folds of an unhappy face. I examined her aura and it was in tatters. Her heart was tightly wrapped in layers of misery.

She looked down at me looking up at her and melted. That’s when I knew exactly what to do. I targeted her, brushing my waving tail around those swollen legs as I glided to and fro. I stood up on my back legs, purring, and dabbed at her skirt with paws of velvet.

Everyone was watching me.

Iris couldn’t resist me. She reached down and smoothed me, and it was obvious from her touch that she loved cats. Without asking permission, she picked me up and I let her. I made a fuss of her, purring, and gazing into her eyes.

‘You don’t have to be angry,’ I was telling her, by telepathy. ‘You can talk quietly, like Diana, and then the angels will help you.’ I talked directly to her soul. It shone like a lamp in the distance, and as she responded to my love – it came closer and she began to relax.

Diana decided to help me.‘Well,’ she said. ‘Tallulah loves you, doesn’t she? Now, why don’t you sit down in that armchair, with Tallulah? And Dylan, you sit there, on the stool by the fire … you look cold, poor lad. And let’s talk this over, quietly, and calmly, shall we?’

Diana would have made a good cat, I thought approvingly. She was so lovely, and quietly spoken, no one could get mad with her. I saw Dylan glance at her with disbelief and longing in his eyes.

‘You sit here, love. I’ll move my feet,’ she said to TammyLee, who was staring at me with an incredulous expression.

Everyone sat down exactly where Diana had told them to, and I began work on Iris’s heart. Only Max was still standing, looking bewildered as he often did when faced with the radiance of Diana’s love. She looked at him. ‘Now why don’t you go and get those sandbags, Max? Listen to that rain.’ She turned to Iris and spoke to her as if she was a long-lost friend. ‘We have to be so careful living close to the river.’

‘Absolutely not,’ said Max. ‘I’m staying right here until this is sorted out.’

His voice sounded raucous in the quiet atmosphere Diana and I had created. Dylan sat mutinously on the stool, studying the flames leaping up the chimney. I noticed a handbag dangling from one of Iris’s arms. ‘Just wait until you put that down,’ I thought. ‘I’ll have that open in seconds and see what’s inside.’

But Iris opened the handbag first, and took out a folded piece of newspaper. She hung the bag back on her arm.

‘THAT’s what this is about.’ She unfolded the paper and thrust it at Max. ‘And don’t even think about tearing it up. I got copies.’

Max frowned as he read what was on the paper, and handed it to Diana.

‘Oh, yes, I remember that poor little baby,’ Diana said. ‘I hope someone nice adopted him and I hope the mum is all right. She must have been desperate to abandon her baby.’

‘I don’t call it desperate. EVIL, that’s what I call it,’ said Iris loudly. She pointed at TammyLee. ‘SHE’s the mother. Ask her, go on … ask her.’

Her accusation rang around the room. Even Diana looked shocked. TammyLee put her head in her hands.

‘There you are. Look at ’er. Guilty!’ Iris announced triumphantly.

‘That’s an appalling accusation,’ said Max. ‘Can you substantiate it?’

‘SHE can.’ Iris pointed at TammyLee.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said Max. He looked at TammyLee. ‘It’s not true, is it? Tell me it’s not true.’

Diana put both arms round TammyLee and held her tightly.‘Surely this isn’t true, darling? Darling?’ TammyLee was silent, holding the edges of her secret together with a long practised strength.

Iris was using up my love so fast I didn’t think I could give any more. I jumped down and ran to the sofa, to sit between TammyLee and Diana, and from there I could see Amber’s puzzled face watching us through the glass door, her tail down.

The talking went on, and on, with the clock ticking loudly in the silence and the rain adding a hush to the house. The flames in the fireplace lost their energy and began to glow, and sink into scarlet.

Seeming to be intimidated by his mum, Dylan took no part in the conversation, only responding with a grunt or a shrug. They argued about dates and lies, while Diana sat with the newspaper picture of Rocky in her hands, smoothing it and gazing at the baby’s bright little face.

After one of the silences, she said,‘So … you think that this little boy is my grandson?’

‘And mine,’ said Iris. She pointed at TammyLee. ‘And she’s the mother. Aren’t you? Come on, admit it.’

‘I’m not admitting anything,’ said TammyLee stonily.

Iris leaned forward in her chair.‘Then if you won’t admit it, we’ll have no choice. I’m not letting this go. We’ll go to the social workers … and my son will have a DNA test done. At least he’s coming clean about what he did … and he wants to be a father to that baby. You lot think my Dylan’s a bad boy, butI know different. If he’s got the guts to own up, why haven’t you … Tammy whatever your name is? Stubborn aren’t you? … Madam!’

‘Will you SHUT UP!’ screamed TammyLee, her hands clutching her temples. ‘Just shut the hell up and get out of our house. GO. Just GO.’

‘Please, darling … shh … it’s OK. Max and I will support you whatever happens … we’re here.’ Diana turned to Iris. ‘I think … it would be best if you go and leave us to talk to our Tam on her own. Then we’ll get back to you, I promise. Can you understand that … as a mum?’

‘She’s right,’ said Max

Iris folded her arms and sat back.‘I ain’t moving ’til she admits it,’ she said. ‘Get the police if you like … they’ll be interested in what I’ve got to say. I ain’t moving.’

Dylan rolled his eyes and tried to intervene.

‘Mum! We can’t stay here all night. I want to get home.’

She shot him down.‘Don’t you start. Don’t you dare tell me what to do!’

Max walked across to the window and looked out.‘It’s raining, pouring,’ he said, ‘and in view of our proximity to the river, which is already full to the brim, I think you should go and I’m going to drive you home. Otherwise, you’ll end up sleeping here with no electricity. And before you object to that, I would point out that it’s a generous offer … kind of me, considering the way you barged in here, uninvited.’

‘Tomorrow’s another day,’ said Diana. ‘We need time to sort this out, Iris. It’s a shock, yes, but IF it’s true, these two young people will need our support, not condemnation. I’m concerned for my daughter, and I’m sure you are for Dylan. We shouldn’t involve the police at all.It’s a family matter.’

‘Thanks.’ Dylan looked at Diana as if she was rescuing him. ‘I’m not a bad person like you think … I … I’m sorry for what I did to the cat … it was stupid … peer pressure and stuff.’

‘Yeah, and drugs,’ said TammyLee.

‘I’m off it. I’m clean now.’

‘’E is,’ said Iris, ‘without any help from the medics.’

‘Pigs might fly,’ TammyLee muttered.

‘This isn’t going anywhere,’ said Max, taking his raincoat from its peg and jingling his car keys. ‘I’m going now so make your minds up.’

Dylan stood up.‘Look, Mum,’ he said, putting his face close to hers, ‘you know you can’t walk home in this rain, and there won’t be a bus for hours. Have some sense. This isn’t the last day in the history of the universe.’

Iris sighed. She glowered at TammyLee, and handed her a slip of paper.‘That’s my mobile number and, if I haven’t got the truth from you by tomorrow, I’ll be back … with the socials.’ She unzipped her handbag, extracted a voluminous pink raincoat from a pouch and put it on with much rustling.

As soon as they had gone, TammyLee let Amber out of the conservatory, and we listened to the rain pounding the glass roof, and the splashing of Max’s car driving off into the night.

Diana and TammyLee stayed on the sofa, not speaking, but TammyLee wouldn’t look at her mum. I returned to the warm hearth rug with Amber and began to wash vigorously, feeling I needed to cleanse my coat of the last traces of the hostility Iris had generated in our home.

Diana was holding TammyLee’s hand, and gazing expectantly at her. If she’d kept quiet, it might have been OK, but, in her softest voice, she asked that same painful question: ‘Is it true?’

TammyLee looked at her, desperately and wordlessly. Then she lurched to her feet and stumbled out of the room and up the stairs. Minutes later she hurried down again, clad in high boots, a black parka and with her hair stuffed into the hood, which was falling forward over her face.

I heard Diana gasp as her daughter fled past and flung the front door open. The wind blasted hard raindrops and yellow leaves into the hall. TammyLee slammed the door behind her, and we heard her footsteps vanishing into the night.

I jumped onto the windowsill and ducked under the curtain to see which way she was going, and I saw her hooded silhouette, a bag flying from her shoulder. She headed down the road towards the busy roundabout where the headlights lit up the driving rain and the water pouring down both sides of the road.

I was used to TammyLee coming and going, so her flight from the house didn’t bother me. But it worried Diana. I’d never seen her so upset. She sat with her eyes shut and her hands clinging to a patchwork cushion that TammyLee had made, repeating over and over again, ‘Oh, God, please look after our Tam. Let her come back, please.’

Even the solid presence of Amber leaning against her legs didn’t seem to help. I went on washing and grooming my fur until it felt silky and clean. Then I looked round for something to play with. After all the rage and the rows the humans imposed on me, I needed time to be a cat.

I padded around, sniffing the places where Dylan and Iris had sat, and made an amazing discovery. Iris had left her handbag behind! Wow. I circled it a few times, eyeing the worn leather toggle on the zip, patted it, and did my pouncing routine, leaping and twizzling in the air. I crouched and sidled, never taking my eyes from the zip toggle in case it moved, loving the excitement and fun building inside me.

Little beads of joy raced through my heart. With delicate skill, I got the toggle between my teeth, held the bag down with my paws, and pulled. It slid open with a satisfying buzz. Now I could see inside. I did my pounce routine again, then reached my paw into the soft interior and extracted an open roll of peppermints. The smell of them, and the spiral of torn green wrapping, freaked me out and I chased it towards Amber. She sniffed at it and stuck her nose high in the air.‘I’m not allowed to have those,’ she said, but I left them there for her, and returned to the open bag.

Next, I took out a bunch of keys, which smelled awful. Attached to them was a tiny lion with a fuzzy mane and eyes that rolled around comically. He wasn’t brilliant to play with because I couldn’t detach him from the keys. I went on burrowing, and extracted a rattly packet of tablets in silver foil, and a biscuit wrapped in cellophane. I was just hooking out the purse, when Amber started barking and Max came back in.

‘Iris left her handbag behind,’ he said, rolling his eyes. ‘And I see you’ve been busy, Tallulah!’ Tutting, he scooped up the stuff I’d taken out and put it back, but no one laughed, and that was unusual. This time, my attempt to break up the misery with a bit of humour was not appreciated.

‘Back soon,’ said Max. ‘I’ll pick up some sandbags.’

‘No … Max … wait,’ cried Diana, her face taut with anxiety.

‘What is it, love?’ In two strides, Max was beside her, looking concerned. But Diana couldn’t seem to speak. She clutched his arm and took some deep breaths.

‘Our Tam has run away,’ she sobbed. ‘Never mind the sandbags … you’ve got to find her, Max … she’s so vulnerable just now … and she ran out the door in black clothes. She’ll get hit by a car. Oh, please, please look for her, Max … she might do something terrible, the state she’s in.’

‘Silly girl,’ said Max. ‘What about you, here on your own?’

‘I’ll be OK for a few hours,’ wept Diana. ‘Please, just go and look for her. And don’t shout at her, Max, please. She’s very, very emotionally fragile right now.’

Chapter Thirteen

THE LION IN WINTER

Hours later, Max came back, without TammyLee.

‘No sign of her,’ he said. ‘I checked all the usual places where she goes. Her mobile is turned off. If she’s not back in the morning, we’ll report her missing.’

The anxiety stretched itself into every corner of the house. Max made up the fire and brewed cocoa in silence. He washed up and fed Amber, and put some fresh cat litter in my tray.‘Don’t you go out, Tallulah,’ he said. Amber was allowed out, and came back with her legs dripping wet. Then Max lit candles and stood them in the window in jars. He persuaded Diana to go upstairs to bed. ‘While you can,’ he said. ‘If the power goes off, you won’t have the stair lift.’

‘I can’t possibly sleep,’ said Diana, ‘not while my TammyLee is out there. I don’t want my medication tonight, Max … I need to stay awake.’

Max stayed up with her and we heard their voices talking. Amber and I had had enough of the stress. We needed a long sleep, and we needed each other. I was glad to lie on the hearth rug with her, even though she was snoring and having one of her woofy dreams. The rhythm of her breath, and the purr of the fire, was comforting. The sound of the rain seemed distant, but the night was full of unfamiliar swishing and gurgling sounds.

Later, I was wide awake for a while and I trotted upstairs to TammyLee’s room, to see if she was there, and she wasn’t. I rolled about on the duvet and played with the soft edge of it. Then I jumped onto the shelf of teddy bears and walked along it with my tail up, inspecting them. They hadn’t got auras, only the twinkling eyes gave them a presence, and theirblack noses and stitched-on smiles. Next, I sat on TammyLee’s laptop, to think. I sat on her chair, and on her pillow. Where was she? I wanted her.

What if she never came back? Whose cat would I be then?

‘Worrying won’t help you,’ said my angel. The next three days are what you need to focus on, and you must look after YOURSELF, Tallulah. You are a very important cat, and you are so loved … we need you to survive.’

‘Survive what?’ I asked, but my angel disappeared in a shimmy of light, and I was left alone on TammyLee’s bed. Survive? What, again?

There was silence from Diana’s room, so I ran downstairs to Amber and snuggled up to her. She sighed and put a warm paw over me, as if she wanted to hug me. I purred a little and went to sleep between her big paws, knowing that if I heard TammyLee’s footsteps, I’d be instantly awake, and so would Amber.

The candles flickered until dawn, and the sunrise was silver grey. Drops of rain still covered the windows and there was an unfamiliar light outside, and no sounds of traffic, which was unusual. A loud metallic throbbing sound filled the air, coming and going as if some great machine was patrolling the sky.

Amber seemed tense. She wouldn’t talk to me, but stood in the doorway, listening, her tail down. I was OK, refreshed from my sleep and wanting to go out in the garden. Heading for the cat flap, I ran through the kitchen with my tail up, hoping TammyLee would be on her way back. The kitchen floor was wet, causing me to stop and shake each paw. I butted my head against the cat flap and jumped out. Too late, I saw water shining, directly outside, and there was no avoiding it. The whole garden shone like a lake. Even the path was submerged and water was lapping at the walls of the house. With my paws and tummy horribly wet and cold, I turned and went back through the cat flap. The hearth rug was still warm, and Amber came to me, whining, and tried to lick me dry. She was comforting, but I wanted TammyLee to come and fluff me up with a towel. I needed her there, to cuddle me and explain what was happening. I missed her kindness.

Amber ran to the window and put her paws up on the sill, looking out as if someone was coming. I leaped up there, and stared, transfixed by what was happening outside. Max had stacked sandbags across the gate, and a line of gleaming muddy brown water was spilling over the top of them. Out in the road, the water was flowing along like a river, and, in the distance, voices were shouting. The sky throbbed with circling helicopters.

A duck with a green head lurched over the top of the sandbags and started swimming around our garden as if it owned the place. I sat up very straight and batted the window, trying to tell that duck exactly what I would do to it if I was out there.

Amber was watching, but her tail wasn’t wagging and her eyes looked worried. Then she did something that seriously spooked me. She lifted her head, stretched her throat, and howled, on and on. It chilled me to my bones. It resounded through the house, along the floor and up the walls, into corners and cupboards, even the lampshades quivered with it.

My fur ruffed out, my eyes must have gone black with terror, and my pulse raced. But Amber didn’t stop. The howling went on and on, like a warning siren.

Too petrified to move, I watched the water in the garden. I saw Max’s sandbag wall sag and burst open, and a torrent of brown water surged towards the house with an unforgettable roar. It burst through the cat flap in a plume of froth, swept across the kitchen and into the hall.

Amber stopped howling and barked. She spun round and lolloped through the water and up the stairs, leaving me paralysed with terror on the windowsill.

I watched in horror as my food bowl, still with some bits in it, floated by, along with the leaves and litter the water was bringing in. I watched the brown tide, foaming at the edges, glide into the lounge and under the sofa, swirling around the chair legs, soaking the carpet. It picked up TammyLee’s fluffy slippers and sloshed them against the wall. Then it reached the fireplace and steam rose, hissing from the embers.

‘What the hell is the matter with that dog?’

I heard Max getting up, his feet creaking across the landing.

‘Oh, my GOD. Now we have got problems.’

He dived into the bedroom and grabbed a mobile phone, tapping it urgently and listening.

‘Damn it. The lines are jammed.’ He did a lot of cursing, and finally spoke to someone. ‘Our house is flooded. The water’s pouring in, and my wife is disabled … and my teenage daughter has gone missing.’

He didn’t say, ‘Our cat is marooned on the windowsill.’ I was, and the water was creeping up the wall, deeper and deeper. I clung there, watching Max, who was now downstairs and paddling around, grabbing armfuls of stuff and chucking it on the stairs. I was afraid that in his frenzy, he wouldn’tnotice me, so I meowed loudly; in fact, I wailed. He waded over and picked me up. Phew!

‘Poor Tallulah,’ he said as I clung to his shoulder. He carried me to the stairs and put me on them. ‘Go upstairs, go on. Shoo!’ He clapped his hands which wasn’t helpful to an already frightened cat.

Miffed, I crouched on the top step, watching Amber, who was trying to convince Max it was a game. She was charging up and down what was left of the stairs, grabbing some of the things he was chucking up there, and carrying them into Diana’s room in her mouth. She grabbed books, papers, shoes and gadgets, even a telephone with its wires trailing. She got that tangled up in the banister rail, and tugged at it until Max shouted at her. She left it swinging in mid-air and seized a coat by its hood, dragging it round the corner intoDiana’s room.

An amazing sound rippled through the house. Diana was laughing! It relaxed me straight away and I ran in to see her with my tail up. What Amber had done was awesome, in my opinion. In the midst of a crisis, she’d managed to make Diana laugh. It made me feel better.

But it had the opposite effect on Max.

‘What the hell is there to laugh at?’ He shouted. ‘I’m busting a gut trying to salvage our belongings. What’s so funny?’

His words only sent Diana into a new bout of hysterical giggling, and encouraged Amber to move even faster, her tail wagging now, knocking medicine bottles off tables as she flew past.

‘I’m sorry, love,’ said Diana as Max’s furious face appeared at the door. ‘I know I shouldn’t be laughing … but Amber is so funny … don’t be cross with her, Max. It’s better to laugh than cry.’

‘I’ll do the crying,’ said Max. ‘Our home is RUINED, Diana. Our daughter is missing. For God’s sake, woman.’

He did start to cry, sitting at the top of the stairs, but he refused to let the tears flow. Silently and painfully, he fought it, his shoulders shuddering with every breath. I ran to him and looked right into his soul with my most concerned cat stare.

‘Tallulah … you lovely, lovely cat,’ he said, and caressed my fur with an unsteady hand. ‘What are we going to do with you and Amber? And, dear God, where IS my daughter?

Max shut Amber and me in TammyLee’s bedroom, with a dish of water. Amber lay down across the door with a sigh of resignation, and I made a nest in the duvet and fell into a restorative sleep.

It must have been mid-afternoon when the house began to shake. Amber was frightened of thunderstorms, and she crawled under the table and pressed herself against the wall, whimpering. It wasn’t thunder, I knew that. Keeping myself hidden behind the curtain, I peeped out, alarmed to see a helicopter hovering just above the house. My ears hurt with the bang-banging of its relentless blades, and, up close, the helicopter was enormous, deafening and intimidating.

My instinct was to hide like Amber, but I wanted to see what was happening. It felt as if the house was going to be blown to bits. I touched the window with my nose, and the glass was vibrating.

The sky was blue now and the flood had settled into a vast sheet of water. I could see the reflection of the helicopter and the trees. Loud and scary as it was, I worked out that this iron giant was actually under control. In the midst of the thunderous noise, there were voices, and they were calm, giving clear instructions to each other. I understood that a man in goggles and a helmet was in the cockpit, and he was OK. Two more men, clad in bright orange, were in the side door, and one of them began to descend, on a string, like a spider!

Down and down he came, and stopped level with Diana’s bedroom window. Max was holding on to her tightly, and Diana was being brave, smiling and making jokes as the man fixed a harness round her. She was whisked up into the sky, with the man in orange holding her firmly. She looked down at me as I sat in the window, and then she was lifted into the helicopter. Max went next, his body rigid, his face grim as he was winched to safety.

‘What about us?’ I thought, expecting the men in orange to come back with a cat cage and lift me up there too, and Amber, and take us to a lovely place where TammyLee would be waiting. I wanted her so much in that moment. I wanted her love, and the special way she talked to me and explained things, the way she’d put her face close to mine and call me ‘magic puss cat’.

But it didn’t happen like that. A cold shadow of betrayal crept over me as they closed the door of the rescue helicopter. I meowed and scrabbled at the window. I wailed and cried, but the helicopter rose heartlessly into the sky and set off at speed, carrying Max and Diana away from us. I watched until itwas a tiny speck against the western sky.

They had left us behind.

Max’s words rang in my head. ‘Our home is RUINED.’ What did he mean? It seemed OK to me, except that there was water downstairs. I wondered where my food dish was.

Amber crawled out from under the table, still shivering. I tried to comfort her by winding myself round her legs with my tail brushing her face, but all it did was make her sneeze. My attempt to tell her about the helicopter was a waste of time. She couldn’t get her head round it. She stood at the door, pawing it and whining, her tail hanging limp like rope. Her fur had mostly dried except for her ears, and she was cold, and, like me, hungry.

Outside, the sun was setting and pink light reflected in the water. Amber wouldn’t talk to me, so I sat in the window and watched it getting dark. Boats were going up the flooded road, laden with people wrapped in blankets. One woman had a cat in a cage and I could hear it meowing. The other cat I saw was all alone and clinging to a wooden table that was being swept along fast by the surging water. I searched the sky, but the helicopter didn’t come back, and in the deepening twilight there were blue lights flashing everywhere.

It was the longest night of my life, thinking I’d been abandoned, wanting TammyLee, wanting my supper and the warm bright fire. Amber didn’t sleep either but stared at the door all night, her nose twitching, and her tail didn’t wag once.

When dawn came, I noticed her looking up at the door handle and getting more and more agitated. She seemed to be hyping herself up for something she was planning to do. Then, cleverly, she got the handle between her teeth and pushed it down. It didn’t work, but she tried again, and I ran to sit beside her and encourage her, thinking we could get down to the kitchen and find our food. Amber growled and jerked the handle harder, and at last the door swung open. Amber dashed into Diana’s room, and came out again, looking puzzled. She ran up and down the landing and in and out of the bathroom.

‘Max and Diana are gone,’ I said, ‘and TammyLee.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ said Amber. ‘They’re out there somewhere.’

She sat at the top of the stairs, sniffing the air and thinking.

‘Don’t go down there,’ I said. ‘It’s flooded.’

The water was deep. Stuff was floating around in it, and only the top of the sofa and table were visible. Sticks and straw had been washed in and was drifting around with lots of paper and plastic bottles. We could see into the kitchen, and the window was open, and once Amber saw that, something even more terrible happened.

‘Don’t go … please,’ I begged, but Amber wasn’t seeing or hearing me.

With a sense of foreboding, I watched her pad down the stairs. She entered the water quietly, not with her usual joyful splash. She swam around in a circle, and looked up at me, and clearly she was saying,‘Goodbye.’

Devastated, I meowed and meowed, but Amber swam into the kitchen, and dragged herself over the worktop and out of the open window. Frantic, I tore back into TammyLee’s room, to see what happened, and glimpsed the shine of Amber’s wet head as she swam across the flooded garden and into the swirling current that was the road. I meowed my loudest. What chance did a lone dog have in that vast and swiftly moving flood?

Now I was truly alone.

I spent most of the morning meowing, going from one window to another, hoping to see someone who would notice me. Nobody was out there now– even the boats had gone, and the helicopters were far away. I clung to a frail idea that Amber might come back, and I worried about my family. TammyLee was the one I ached to see.

Clouds gathered over the midday sun and soon it was raining again. Mist hung over the water, and the place looked desolate. The day was passing and I hadn’t been rescued. Starving hungry, I ate some bread and cheese Max had left, but it upset me and I was sick. I missed being in the garden and thought that going outside would make me feel better.

‘You must help yourself,’ said my angel, and I flicked my tail in annoyance. But last time she’d said that, it had worked. I sat in the front window, thinking, studying the flooded landscape for escape routes, wondering if it might be possible to go along the tops of fences and trees. FirstI had to find a way out of the house. Swimming was not an option. Meowing at boats hadn’t worked. I studied parts of the roof visible from the window and noticed a skylight that was open just a crack.

I found it in the bathroom. The crack was too small, but if I got my paws up there and pushed, I could squeeze out. Jumping up was a challenge, especially from the floor. I clambered onto the shiny lid of the loo, then onto the cistern, and from this narrow slippery perch, I planned my daring leap. I had to try. Focusing on the power in my back legs, and the sharpness of my claws, I sprang up there. For a frantic moment, I hung with my claws dug into the wood. With all my strength, I lifted my hind legs, butted the crack with my head, and wriggled through. I was out!

It had stopped raining, so I walked up to the ridge of the roof to survey the landscape. Somewhere an engine was running, and I soon discovered it was a fire engine, sucking water out of a nearby house. I sat on the roof and meowed, but no one even looked in my direction, and my cries for help were lost in the noise of the fire engine.

I was hungry, and thirsty, and cold.

Night came with frightening speed. Another night of being abandoned, this time on my own. Thinking the roof was not a good place to spend the night, I went back to the open skylight, intending to attempt the jump back into the bathroom. But I made a dreadful mistake by putting my weight on the raised edge of the window and making it shut. My entrance was closed, and despite my efforts to reopen it, it stayed closed.

With thick darkness and a chilly wind blowing, there was no choice but to spend the night on the roof, with no soft place to sleep, no food, no water, and no one to love me.

Chapter Fourteen

CATS IN CAGES

I pressed myself against the chimney on its warmest side. Cold and isolated up on the roof, I tried to conserve my energy by tucking my paws under my body and dozing quietly. Staying calm was vital to my survival. No more meowing.

It ought to have been peaceful, but suddenly the roof tiles were vibrating, first from a loud clanking noise, followed by a steady rhythmic pounding, like footsteps. I could feel my eyes growing big with fright. Was the roof somehow trying to shake me off into the water?

The rhythmic pounding stopped, and, in the expectant pause, I sensed a listening, and a beam of light came sweeping over the roof. Then, an unbelievable sound.

Someone was calling,‘Kitty kitty kitty.’

A gentle, male voice, up there on the roof. It wasn’t anyone I knew, but from past experience, I assumed that ‘kitty kitty kitty’, meant me.

Someone had found me!

I peeped round the chimney and the light dazzled me. Whoever was holding it turned it off, and I stared down at a fireman in a helmet, his face looking up at me. He looked solid and reassuring, obviously a cat lover.

My tail shot up, and my fur bushed out with joy. I couldn’t get to him fast enough. I slithered down the wet tiles, doing purr-meows in gratitude. A friend, a warm, human friend. It was so comforting to lean against his chest and hear the slow heartbeat. I clung to his shoulder, and cried like a little kitten.

‘You’re a beauty!’ he said, appreciatively. ‘You’re gorgeous. Now you hang on to me and I’ll take you down. Trust me. OK?’

How could I not trust this cuddly fireman? I hung on, and treated him to my loudest purr as he took me carefully down the ladder. It didn’t even bother me when he put me in a cat cage. I was being rescued!

The fireman waded a long way through the flood to a patch of higher ground. A fire engine was parked there, its blue light flickering, reflected in the water. Behind it was a van with a familiar figure waiting at the wheel.

‘Got her. She’s fine,’ the fireman shouted. ‘Can you take her?’

‘I’ve just got room, my luvvy. Thank you SO much. You’re a star.’

She took the cage from the fireman, and looked in at me.‘Tallulah! Hello, my luvvy. It’s me, Penny, the cat lady. Now don’t you worry, we’ll take care of you and find your people.’

I was a lucky cat, and if I’d been a human, I’d have given Penny a box of Cadbury’s Roses like the one Max had given TammyLee for passing her exams.

The interior of the van was full of cat cages, and there was a cacophony of meowing and yowling. Black frightened eyes looked out, and most of the cats were extremely upset. I did a lot of work in the back of that van, showing them how to be calm and telling them about the work of Cats Protection. As Penny drove up the hill away from the flood, those traumatised cats were looking at me, their eyes hungry for reassurance. The worst was a Siamese with blue tormented eyes and the loudest voice I’d ever heard from a cat. ‘You’re upsetting everyone,’ I said, ‘and it’s no good wasting your energy on meowing. It won’t make any difference. Penny is a good and clever human. She’ll find your people for you.’

But the Siamese cat ignored me.

I thought Penny would take us to the farm with the cat pens, but she didn’t. When she pulled into a car park and turned off the engine, the yowling and meowing made eerie music ring through the night.

Where were we?

She opened the back door and outside was a big building like a school, with the lights on and people milling about inside. I wished I could read the tall red words on a board outside. Penny picked up my curiosity immediately and read them for me:

‘FLOOD DISASTER CENTRE.’

I could smell soup and bacon, and hear teacups clattering. From another part of the building came the smell of wet dogs, and the sound of barking. I listened for the particular bark I longed to hear … Amber! … but no, she wasn’t there, I was certain.

‘Is Amber in the spirit world?’ I asked my angel, fearing that her answer would be ‘yes’.

‘No,’ she said, ‘not yet.’

‘Then where is she?’

‘She is lost.’

I thought of my wonderful dog being lost out there in the flooded landscape, and sent her a message:‘Stay where you are, Amber, these kind people will find you.’ Somewhere she was shivering and alone, like I had been on the roof. I hoped the power of my thoughts would help her not to give up.

A group of smiling‘cat ladies’ came to the back of the van and carried our cat cages in a meowing procession in through brightly lit glass doors, and down a corridor. I was proud that Penny, the Queen of Cat Ladies had chosen ME to carry.

The building was warm and full of noise. People talking and children screaming and running about. We passed the kitchen and I sniffed the aromatic steam rising from massive cauldrons and trays of food. Beef, chicken and herby smells. I was absolutely starving.

‘Trust you to know where the kitchen is, Tallulah,’ said Penny when I meowed. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll get one of my nice sachets of rabbit in a minute.’

They took us into a shiny room with a high ceiling. It was full of bewildered cats, all in cages around the walls. Some were sitting, hunched up and staring miserably out. Others were cowering in the back of their cage, or weaving to and fro, trying hopelessly to escape. I wished the people would open the cages and let me sit in the middle and gather them round me for a communal purring session.

The promised sachet of rabbit arrived, and Penny popped it into my cage on a plastic dish. Nothing had ever tasted so scrumptious. I ate every bit, and cleaned the dish with my tongue. I sat calmly, washing, and waiting to see what would happen. The door opened, and an elderly man came in, his eyes searching the cat cages, and the Siamese cat yelled out at him. He stumbled across the room with tears glistening on his cheeks.

‘Judy! My Judy!’

He opened the cage and the Siamese cat’s blue eyes sparkled. She could talk, almost like a human, and the love radiated from her aura as she climbed into his arms, kissing his face and hugging him with her long paws. Then she dived inside his coat and nestled in there, her eyes half closed and blissful as she looked out at the restof us.

Through the evening there were more emotional reunions as people turned up to find their lost cats. It was a happy time, but not for me. My confidence was draining away. Every time the door opened, a tiny flame of hope started in my heart, and quickly died when I saw yet another sad and frightened cat being joyfully reclaimed, and it wasn’t me. I was tired, and the unfamiliar comings and goings resounded through the building. The effort of listening for a voice I knew was intense. Even Penny disappeared and a different cat lady took her place, but she didn’t know me. I was just another cat.

My eyes began to close. It didn’t feel right to be in that harshly lit noisy place late at night when I would normally have been curled up on TammyLee’s bed. The children’s voices changed from happy playing to screaming and crying, along with the raised voices of exasperated mothers trying to get them to sleep. Plates and pans were being crashed around in the kitchen, doors were banging, and people were shouting to each other. My head ached and my ears hurt with the noise. Sleep was impossible.

I did doze a bit and dreamed I heard Amber barking, waking me up with a jump that shook my whole body. The noise went on all night, and the lights stayed painfully bright. I only knew it was morning when the windows turned silver, and a wild wind swirled leaves across the car park.

The new cat lady brought me a meal but I was now so stressed and exhausted I didn’t touch it. My joy at being rescued was fast turning into despair, and I needed a litter tray. I couldn’t stay in that cage much longer!

And then … I heard running feet. Clonk, clonk across the car park. A figure in black, with flying hair, ran past the window. I sat up, my heart beating fast, my neck getting longer as I watched the door. And hope came flooding into my tired mind like sacred sunlight. Suddenly, I was warm, and alive, and alert.

I listened.

The footsteps I knew and loved! In the building now, marching along the shiny corridor, closer, and closer. And then my heart leaped with excitement. Another set of footsteps was running alongside, the click-click of a dog’s nails on the hard floor, and when they stopped, there was the thump-thump of a tail wagging against the wall. The cat lady stood up and went to the door.

She opened it and peeked out. An argument started.

‘I am afraid you can’t bring that dog in here.’

‘But she is OK with cats.’

‘I am sure she is, dear, but I have got a room full of traumatised cats, and the last thing they need is a dog.’

‘But my cat is friends with her.’

‘Yes, but the other cats aren’t. They’ve been rescued from the floods … one was even found clinging to a bit of wood in the river. I am sorry, but you CANNOT bring a dog in. There’s a place for dogs at the other end of the building.’

I heard a sigh.

‘I’ve been through hell to get here. I waded through the floods and stuff, and I need to see if my cat is here. I’m not going away. Look, I’m dripping wet and freezing.’

‘All right, dear, don’t get upset. I’ll hold the dog, and you go in … but please, DO NOT let any of those cats out, even yours.’

‘Thanks. I won’t.’

The door opened. I fluffed my fur, and sat up, determined to look beautiful. Then I heard a whisper that filled the room, and all the cats went quiet.‘Where are you, Magic puss cat?’

I meowed my loudest and my TammyLee turned her head and saw me.‘Tallulah!’ she cried, and ran across the room to me, and undid the cage door immediately, her bangles jingling as she reached in and picked me up with ice-cold hands. My whole body turned into a purring machine as TammyLee lifted me into her arms. She smelled of the river, and her hair was wet, but I didn’t care. We loved each other. I wrapped myself round her neck, my warm fur drying her like a soft towel, the way she had so often dried me. She kissed my face and I kept butting my head into hers, giving her every last spark of my love.

‘Magic puss cat,’ she sobbed, and the tears were happy tears. ‘I thought I’d lost you for ever. Darling cat. I’m sorry I ran out on you. Please forgive me, Tallulah.’

Forgive her? Of course I did. It’s what cats do. I turned my purring up a notch, and let it tickle her ear until she giggled.

My angel was whirling round and round us, enjoying herself, whisking ribbons of stars through TammyLee’s aura.

‘I’d better pop you back in, Tallulah,’ she said after our long cuddle. ‘But I won’t leave you. I don’t know where we’ll end up going, but you are staying with me.’

I didn’t mind being back in the cage because TammyLee was carrying it, and this time it was my turn to look blissfully triumphant with the other cats watching enviously.

‘And guess who’s outside,’ TammyLee said, as we headed towards the door.

I’d already guessed. Amber!

Like TammyLee, she was soaking wet, but so pleased to see me. The cat lady let go of her lead and Amber was so excited that she tried to gallop in small circles on the slippery floor. Then she sneezed right into my cage and her tail sent the cat lady’s papers flying from the chair. But she managed to make them both laugh. I envied her that talent.

‘Behave, Amber. SIT.’ said TammyLee sternly and Amber did sit down, facing me, and I noticed she was shivering.

‘She swam all the way from the park,’ said TammyLee. ‘And I didn’t find her … she found me and she actually stopped me going into the river! She’s such a clever dog. But look at her … she’s really cold.’

‘Take her down there … to the RSPCA dog-rescue room. They’ve got hairdryers and towels and loads of food. People have been donating stuff,’ said the cat lady. ‘They’ll sort her out, poor girlie. Here, I’ll take her down. You go and find your family.’

‘Mum’s in hospital,’ said TammyLee, ‘and Dad’s with her. They’re OK, but mum’s got MS, so she needs some help.’

‘And so do you. Go on, you go to the main centre, they’re doing breakfast for about two hundred people.’

She gave TammyLee a cat harness and a lead.‘If you want to let the cat out, put this on her and keep her attached to you. She might panic in that noisy place.’

All I wanted to do was sleep. I felt safe now, with TammyLee, and Amber, and I trusted that we would eventually go home. So I switched off and slept while TammyLee sat at a table and ate breakfast. I must have slept for hours, for when I woke up, we were in a different room, and Amber was there, lying on TammyLee’s feet. She looked dry and fuzzy, and much better, and TammyLee’s hair was dry.

There were families around the room, and some of the children were still asleep. It was quieter, except for a man with a woolly microphone that looked like a cat’s tail. Followed by a cameraman, he was interviewing people very loudly.

‘This disaster has brought the whole community together,’ he was saying. ‘And families made homeless by these terrible floods are still coming in …’

His voice made me drowsy, and I drifted off to sleep again, this time in TammyLee’s arms. She was yawning and snoozing too, and Amber was stretched out on the floor, snoring. We were all exhausted.

‘Wake up, Tallulah, quickly.’ My angel whispered urgently to me. ‘This is very important.’

Instantly, I was sitting up, on full alert, my whiskers twitching. Something was going to happen.

Chapter Fifteen

FROM A DISTANCE

‘You are needed, now more than ever, Tallulah,’ said my angel, and for once, she was crystal clear in her iridescent colours. She was so radiant that I thought one of us was going to die. I looked at Amber, and she was breathing. I looked at TammyLee and there was a strange light around her. Squinting my eyes, I watched until the face of a golden angel materialised from its blaze. I’d never seen her before.

‘Who is she?’ I asked.

‘She is the mother love angel,’ said my angel, respectfully.

I studied the new angel, fascinated by the swerving colours of her robe: intense pink, aqua and silver white. Mysterious images and pictures flickered in the energy she was generating, constantly changing. For one fleeting moment, I saw a cat’s face, and it was my own mother, Jessica, and then she was gone, like something melting in the sun. She hadn’t liked me when I was a kitten, but now her brief appearance had radiated love, which made me glow with happiness. I wanted to play and jump in the air, but I was restrained by the cat harness.

‘Be calm,’ said my angel, ‘and do exactly what I tell you. Exactly. Now … watch the door.’

As she spoke, a new family was coming in through the door, a young mum with a little boy who was dressed in a tiny denim jacket and jeans. Their pushchair was laden with bags of food and toys. Like most of the new arrivals, they seemed stressed and anxious, and stood looking round the hall for somewhere to sit.

‘Meow, as loud as you can, and put your tail up,’ said my angel urgently.

My voice called out, an echoing meow, and another, and another. Amber woke up with a jump, and so did TammyLee.

‘What’s the matter, Tallulah?’

‘Keep meowing,’ said my angel. ‘You are calling that family.’

I did, and the little boy turned his head and looked at me with bright blue eyes.

‘Tat!’ he squealed, and tugged at his mother’s arm. ‘Look!’

I changed my voice to a purr-meow. The little boy was Rocky, and he was running towards me, and towards his true mother, TammyLee.

It was a mesmerising moment, and I sensed the angels forming a circle of light around us, weaving it into a celestial umbrella, sheltering us … Amber and TammyLee, me and Rocky.

With sudden clarity, I understood the nature of miracles. The flood disaster had turned out to be a blessing for TammyLee.

‘Don’t strangle the poor cat!’ Kaye came bustling after Rocky, a smile of humour in her eyes.

The reality of Rocky was exciting for me. He was bigger, and confident on his feet, square and sturdy as he stood gazing right into my soul with those unforgettable eyes. I could hear him breathing, and feel his vibrant energy.

He didn’t look at TammyLee, but sat on the floor and put his face close to mine. I responded by kissing him on the nose, and purring. He squealed and laughed and wrapped his little arms around me.

‘Tat mine,’ he said, and I struggled out of his tight grip, being careful not to scratch him. He touched my tail and felt my whiskers, he put his ear against me and listened to my purr. ‘Tat purr,’ he said in delight, and tried to imitate the sound. I rolled over on my back, and he examined the pink pads of my paws.

‘Gently … gently,’ said Kaye, breaking into our circle of light. She looked at TammyLee. ‘I am sorry,’ she said, ‘but he does love cats … and dogs,’ she added, as Amber tried to get in on the act by squirming along the floor. ‘Is your dog OK with children?’

‘She loves them,’ said TammyLee. She smiled at Rocky, but he still didn’t look at her. He was only interested in me.

‘We’ve just arrived,’ Kaye said. ‘D’you mind if we sit ourselves down next to you? Our house isn’t actually flooded, but the water’s rising and they’ve evacuated the whole street. I grabbed as much as I could. My husband’s gone to work. I’ve got some chocolate and crisps, if you want some. Is your house flooded?’

They chatted about floods while I played with Rocky, and I heard TammyLee telling Kaye how she’d waded, alone, through the icy water to get home. How Amber had found her and guided her away from the riverbank.

‘Sounds like she’s a brave dog,’ she said, fondling Amber, who was now leaning against her legs, looking up at her adoringly. ‘And you’re a bit of a heroine too. Did you say your mum is in hospital?’

‘Yes, but she’s OK,’ TammyLee said. ‘My mum is disabled, but she’s a really special person. I love her to bits. I’m her carer, you see, and have been since I was ten.’

Kaye looked at her with wide eyes.‘That’s AWESOME!’

TammyLee shrugged, but she looked pleased.‘So what about you, Kaye? What’s your little boy’s name?’

‘Rocky.’

A shock rippled through TammyLee, but she acted normal.

‘Go to her,’ said my angel, and I stepped gracefully out of Rocky’s arms and jumped on to TammyLee’s lap. Rocky stood close, looking at her now that she’d got me cuddled against her heart. It was beating very fast.

‘That’s a nice name,’ she said. ‘Did you choose it for a reason?’

Kaye hesitated.‘I didn’t choose it,’ she said, and her eyes looked candidly at TammyLee. ‘I started out as his foster mum but now we have legally adopted him, at last! His real mother …’ she lowered her voice, ‘… abandoned him under a tree by the river.’

The circle of angel light tightened around us. If I hadn’t been there, TammyLee might have panicked or run away. She kept stroking me. I was grounding her.

‘That’s awful,’ she muttered, not looking at Kaye’s bright open face. ‘So … how old is he?’

‘Eighteen months, and he’s great,’ said Kaye. ‘A bit of a handful, but a real boy, aren’t you, Rocky?’

Rocky was standing close to TammyLee, playing with her bangles, and stretching up to smooth my fur with his tiny hand.

‘Move up higher,’ said my angel, and I manoeuvred myself up to TammyLee’s shoulder, and draped myself around her neck, my tail hanging down one side and my face on the other. I had eye contact with Rocky and, after two purr-meows and a touch of sparkle, he looked solemnly at TammyLee, who couldn’t take her eyes off him.

‘Do you want to sit on my lap, Rocky?’ she asked. ‘Then you can stroke Tallulah. She loves you.’

‘Loolah,’ said Rocky, as if my name was a delicious chocolate. ‘Loolah.’

TammyLee helped him onto her lap.

‘He’ll probably go to sleep,’ said Kaye. ‘He usually does about mid-morning.’

‘I don’t mind,’ said TammyLee. She was acting cool, but hardly breathing as Rocky settled on her lap and lay back in the crook of her arm. They gazed and gazed into each other’s eyes.

‘This moment will last for ever,’ said my angel, and all the angels in the golden circle were humming a lullaby, and winding streamers of stars around the three of us. The mother love angel flickered behind TammyLee, bending over her with shining arms.

Rocky’s eyes began to close, the dark lashes falling over his rounded cheeks as he went to sleep instantly. TammyLee rocked him and rested her face against his silky head.

Kaye took out her mobile phone.‘I’ve got to have a photo of that,’ she said, ‘it’s so sweet, with the cat there.’

‘Will you do one on my mobile too?’ asked TammyLee. ‘It’s in my bag.’

‘OK.’

‘That’s very, very …’ TammyLee seemed stuck for words as Kaye showed us the photo she’d taken. ‘… Special,’ she said finally. ‘Look, Tallulah.’ Inside her mobile was a tiny image of Rocky’s sleeping face, and her face, and me like a fairy cat, and a bit of Amber’s facetoo.

Only I knew how precious that photo would be. I filled the silence with purring. A question was burning in TammyLee’s mind, and eventually, she managed to let it come out.

‘What … would happen, Kaye, if the real mother showed up?’

‘She’d have no chance,’ said Kaye. ‘Not now that he’s legally adopted. She wouldn’t be allowed any contact. BUT … she ought to own up really, for Rocky’s sake. He’ll know he’s adopted, and maybe, when he’s a man, he’ll want to trace his birth mother. So, if she is out there, and she cares, she should come clean about it, and get her details put in his birth file, so that he can find her, if he wants to. And she should write him a beautiful letter to have when he’s grown up. I hope she does, for Rocky’s sake. I mean, maybe she was just a scared teenager … they’re not going to send her to prison, are they?’

TammyLee nodded slowly, and the silence sparkled around her as she held her sleeping child.

‘She knows,’ said my angel. ‘She knows what she must do.’

I could feel the change in TammyLee. A calmness, a knowing, a sense of peace. A golden time of holding her secret child, sealed for ever by the angels.

‘It was me,’ said TammyLee, as four pairs of eyes stared intently at her.

We were protecting TammyLee, Amber leaning firmly against her legs, and me sitting on her lap, gazing into her soul. Fear danced in her green eyes, yet they shone with courage and maternal defensiveness. I was proud to be her cat.

The house was quiet now, after a long day of noise and energy from downstairs. The water had gone, leaving mud over everything, the sofa was out in the garden, and people who Max called volunteers had been sweeping and scrubbing all day. A new fire was roaring up the chimney, its blaze filling the sodden house with welcome heat.

Amber and I had a new bed each, and we were cosy in the spare room with the freedom to pad around the upstairs. I had a new cat-nip mouse and the walls reverberated with the sound of Amber gnawing a huge bone she’d been given.

The volunteers had just turned up, and the most surprising one was Dylan. He didn’t say much but shrugged and grunted as he worked fiendishly beside TammyLee, tearing up wet carpets and washing mud from the walls. Even Max managed to be civil to him. ‘It’s good to see you’re not afraid of hard work,’ he said.

‘I don’t need your approval, Pop.’ Dylan’s eyes blazed with contempt. I am doing it for Diana, ’cause she treated me like a human being.’ And he turned his back on Max and went on dragging a roll of wet carpet out of the door.

Upset by the activity, I kept going to the top of the stairs and meowing. TammyLee picked me up and cuddled me, and explained everything.‘We’re making the house good again, Tallulah. A lorry will come and take away the muddy carpets and stuff. Then another lorry will bring us a brand-new sofa and carpets, and one day soon, you can go downstairs again and it will be lovely. So don’t you worry, Tallulah.’

After that, I felt better. The sun streamed through the window onto TammyLee’s bed, and I slept for hours, only waking up when I heard Iris’s voice and sensed the weight of her struggling up the stairs.

‘It’s disgusting,’ she moaned, ‘they should’ve done that flood-prevention scheme years ago, not let it come to this. Disgusting, that’s what I call it.’

I knew why Iris had come. I’d been there with TammyLee the night before, when she’d privately told Diana about Rocky. Diana’s eyes had opened wide, and so had her arms. ‘Sweetheart,’ she’d whispered. ‘My poor girl … what were you THINKING? … You know I’d have stuck by you … Oh, darling girl.’ She’d held TammyLee in her arms, with the angels watching. The whole story had come tumbling out while Diana stroked her hair and I lay with her, purring. And afterwards, TammyLee seemed lighter and softer. The dark secret had gone. I saw the angels lifting it away, turning it into stardust.

The meeting had been arranged and Diana insisted it should be‘done nicely’, even persuading a tight-lipped Max to organise a tray with a tall pot of steaming coffee and a swirl of biscuits.

Dylan was the only one arrogantly munching biscuits through the meeting, which began with TammyLee saying those words:‘It was me.’

‘I TOLD you!’ said Iris triumphantly. ‘I told you it were ’er. Didn’t I say so? Written all over ’er face.’

‘Shut up, Mum … just hear her out,’ Dylan insisted. ‘MUM!’ he put a mud-stained hand on her shoulder and made her look at his compelling eyes. ‘Don’t make it worse.’

TammyLee glanced at him with something resembling gratitude, then back to Diana, who was looking at her with loving eyes.

‘I did have a baby,’ she began, and again the story emerged, this time clearly, without tears. Only quiet strength glowed from her aura, and everyone listened, even Amber, who’d been trying not to growl at Dylan. She told them how I’d been there, and saved Rocky’s life, and how she’d regretted what she’d done.

‘I know it was stupid,’ she concluded, ‘and wicked, what I did. And I’ve found out the baby’s been adopted, by a couple who couldn’t have kids of their own, and they love him. So … I don’t think we should interfere, and Mum agrees with me.’ She held up a letter. ‘We’re giving this to the adoption agency, for him to have when he’s older, if he wants to find me.’

Iris opened her mouth, and shut it again. That’s when I sensed that the angels were totally in charge of our meeting.

‘The best we can do,’ said Diana, ‘is to love that little boy in our hearts, always, and from a distance.’

I am only a cat, but in that moment, I felt like a human, with human emotions, as we all sat quiet, letting the words settle like leaves falling through sunlight.

I kissed TammyLee’s face, and put my velvet paws around her neck, but something didn’t feel right to me. I’d done my best, but the result was not what I’d expected. I wanted to stay with TammyLee, and be her cat, but there was a pain inside me, an old pain from when Gretel had left me in the hot car.

This time it didn’t go away.

Closing my eyes, I floated into sleep, and those words went with me.‘From a distance … from a distance.’

I sensed that my fur was shining like a halo, and somehow I had drifted far away across the universe. So far, far away, but I still heard TammyLee’s cry of panic.

‘She’s stopped breathing! Tallulah … Tallulah … don’t die on me, please … please.’

Chapter Sixteen

I HEARD THE ANGEL CALL MY NAME

The last memory of my time on earth was the feel of TammyLee’s face, heavy on my fur, her breath warm, her tears trickling around my neck. Her words wrapping me in whispers. ‘Magic puss cat … please don’t die … I love you … I love you SO much.’

I tried to respond, but the life had gone from my body and it wouldn’t move at all, not even the tip of my fluffy tail. My vibrant little heart had stopped, and my lovely body with its silky fur had died so peacefully, there on TammyLee’s lap. Her love was enfolding me in layer upon layer of colours, and inside it I felt safe enough to let go and float.

The humans gathered around me like a protective umbrella, and I heard fragments of what they were saying:‘We always knew it was going to happen … Tallulah was a rescue cat … look what she went through.’ Then I heard TammyLee’s howl of grief: ‘But why NOW? WHY?’

Surprisingly, it was tough old Iris who was hugging the crying girl as if she would never let go. And, even more amazing, Dylan was brushing the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand.

Cocooned in TammyLee’s love, I drifted through a brightening silence. I said goodbye to the silver-and-white cat who lay limply, her soft paws gently curled, her eyes closed, a smile lifting the corners of her mouth. She was dead, but I wasn’t! I was a spirit cat again now, a shining cat with a beautiful name, Tallulah.

When pets die, they cross the rainbow bridge into a special land, where they wait for their loved ones to join them. Humans think this is a legend, but actually, it’s true.

I didn’t remember the crossing, but the angels told me that TammyLee’s love had made it easy for me.

On the far side of the rainbow bridge is a sumptuous land of downy turf and velvet grasses alive with sparkles. There are trees with blue leaves, and flowers with heady perfume. Happiness and sadness are intertwined, and both are beautiful, both are welcoming. Together, they form landscapes with domes and cushions of colour. You can choose to be sad and rest inside a cave of lavender blue, where it is quiet and still. In there, you can safely grieve for your lost friends, and peer out at the great arch of the rainbow bridge, waiting and hoping for one of them to come over. Or, you can choose to be happy and roll around, purring with a bunch of other cats, or chase the sparkles as they zigzag through the trees in a land that is timeless, seasonless and very beautiful.

I still looked like me, like Tallulah, but my fur shimmered with light, and I weighed nothing. I could turn somersaults in the air! So there were wild times when I chose to be happy, and quiet times when I chose to be sad. I learned that even when you are healthy, comfortable and free, there is still, deep in your soul, a hunger and a longing for close contact with your earth friends.

I could have moved on, into the enticing realms of light where angels lived, and reclaimed my status as Queen of Cats, but I wanted to keep my name. I wanted to be Tallulah and wait by the rainbow bridge for the people I loved.

The best look-out place was on top of the tallest tree. Nestled among its turquoise leaves, I spent a lot of time up there, gazing right across the rainbow bridge. How long would it be until TammyLee came over? I ached to hear her voice.

‘She won’t come,’ my angel explained gently. ‘TammyLee is human and she must stay on earth for decades, until she is an old, old lady. Sometimes you can visit her for a few precious minutes.’

‘How do I do that?’ I asked.

‘At certain times, the veil between earth and the spirit world is thin,’ she said, ‘then you can go through.’

‘How will I know when that time is?’

‘Your fur will tingle, and you will feel a longing. Watch the veils of light in the distant skies. Sometimes they shift and become transparent.’

The first time it happened, I sensed TammyLee was remembering me. The scent of her perfume made me purr, and purr until I saw the veil billowing and parting like curtains, and I did see my TammyLee. In an instant, I was close to her in my light body. She was doing a lady’s hair, brushing it and twiddling it thoughtfully, and she was talking about me!

‘I had a beautiful cat … Tallulah. She was really special. She died years ago, her heart just stopped. It was weak from all she had been through. I still miss her.’

She went quiet and I purred loudly. I knew TammyLee heard me, and she turned sharply to look for me.

‘She can’t see you,’ said my angel. ‘You are too bright for human eyes. But she can sense you, and that comforts her.’

‘I was always there for her when she cried for Rocky,’ I said sadly. Sometimes I felt my work had not been done successfully, especially when the angel said, ‘She still does cry for him.’

‘So I didn’t really complete my work, did I?’ I asked.

‘Wait,’ said my angel. Time is different here in the spirit world. Already the earth years have rolled on since you’ve been here. TammyLee has a job now, and soon she will have her own home and two little girls to love. And Rocky is a big boy now. Many more years will pass, and in the meantime, you can choose to be happy, or sad.’

I chose to be happy, most of the time, and I accepted that TammyLee was going to be on earth for a long time. Yet still I had that ache in my heart. I figured Amber might come over and imagined running to meet her with my tail up. I dreamed of the games we would play, the joy as we raced around together, the bliss as we curled up to sleep. Amber and I had been real buddies, and she’d inspired me to play the way she did, with ridiculous energy and enthusiasm.

I watched lots of dogs come over the rainbow bridge, and none of them were remotely like Amber. No other dog had such a coat of bright gold, and a tail that wagged so fast and shone so silver.

On one occasion, I did see a dog the same colour, but she was old and droopy. Her tail hung down like a rope, her eyes were dull, as if she could hardly see, and even from a distance, I sensed the tiredness, the weight of her, and the pain.

It couldn’t possibly be Amber.

Yet something compelled me to watch this pathetic old creature staring up at the rainbow bridge as if it was a mountain. She was moving, but only just, crawling, dragging herself up through the deep blue side of the rainbow.

No, it couldn’t possibly be Amber. Or could it?

I sat up. My fur was tingling, and there was a longing in my heart. And why was I purring? Such a powerful purr, like never before, a purr that sent ripples right over the rainbow bridge.

The poor old lump of a dog was moving faster. Her eyes were brighter, her legs straighter, her coat more golden. It was as if she suddenly realised she was free, she was not in that old body any more.

The transformation happened smoothly as the dog reached the highest point of the rainbow bridge. Her fur glowed, her silver tail began to wave like a plume, her soft nose lifted and her face shone with joy. It WAS Amber! As she crossed the bridge, she became young again, a magnificent silky goddess of a dog.

I ran towards her with my tail streaming and sparks flying from my fur. We collided in a whirling, squirming, tail-wagging galaxy of pure joy. It went on and on, and when at last we flopped down and curled around each other, Amber looked puzzled.

‘How did I get here?’ she asked.

‘You must have died,’ I replied.

‘I don’t remember dying,’ Amber said. ‘TammyLee and Max took me to the vet … and Diana came in her wheelchair. It was SO humiliating. I couldn’t walk, I was so old, and it hurt all along my back. I couldn’t even wag my tail, and THAT made me so sad. I was the saddest, most uselessdog. The vet said I had to be put down, whatever that means. They let me lie on my blanket. Max just stood there, with his cheek twitching, but TammyLee and Diana cuddled me, and Diana said, ‘Thank you for being our dog,’ and then I woke up next to this rainbow. I saw some other dogs going over, and I knew I had to try … and look at me.’

I listened, spellbound.

‘You’ve come home, Amber,’ I said, ‘This is the spirit world … don’t you remember?

‘But I’ll miss Diana.’

‘You can wait for her, we both will, but time is different here,’ I told her. ‘Things don’t take so long … not years and years like they do on earth. And you’ve got me.’

Our time together passed in a haze of contentment. It didn’t seem like years, but it was obvious from the glimpses I had of TammyLee that numerous earth years had passed. She had two little girls now, and her own home with a tiny square of garden. When I managed to look at her eyes, there was still that shadow in them, the shadow of Rocky. I began to wonder if I would have to go back, and start over, and be her cat again. Until, one day, my angel called my name.

The sudden blaze of her flight startled Amber and me as we lay dreaming and sleeping. I was in the middle of an impressive purring session, which stopped abruptly as I heard the angel call my name, It echoed across the universe.

‘Tallulah! Talloo … LAHHHH …’

The angel swept her cloak of stars around us like a blizzard of glitter.

‘Come quickly,’ she cried, ‘quickly, Tallulah … it’s TammyLee. Come quickly.’

She scooped me up and whisked me through the landscape, and Amber came lolloping and wagging, her ears flying, her face radiant with excitement.

‘You HAVE to see this, Tallulah!’ The angel parted the veils of light at a thin place. We all gazed through into TammyLee’s square of garden.

Her white front door was shut, and a man was walking towards it with long strides. I could see the back of his neck, and the tattered rucksack that hung from his wide shoulders.

‘Watch … just watch,’ my angel whispered, and we fixed our eyes on the young man’s straight back as he stood at the door. His hand hesitated as he lifted it to ring the doorbell, and I saw an arm covered in tattoos, and a bracelet of black and silver.

He rang the bell.

He waited, nervously, a piece of paper in his hand.

The door opened and TammyLee stood there, her eyes startled.

‘Excuse me calling on you like this,’ said the young man in a deep husky voice that sounded both confident and scared. ‘But … I … have reason to believe that you are my mother. My name is Rocky.’ He held out the piece of paper. ‘And this is the letter you wrote to me – you said you wanted me to know you – so here I am!’

TammyLee gasped and flung her hands over her mouth. She peered at Rocky and, in that moment, I watched the shadow leaving her eyes, the light flooding in until they sparkled with hope.

Rocky held out his hand to her.‘I’d so like to get to know you,’ he said quietly, ‘spend some time with you … if … if you’d like that. It would be cool.’

TammyLee could hardly speak. She gazed at her son’s face, her eyes burning with questions, with one big question, that was like a fire she had to step through.

‘It’s OK,’ Rocky said, sensing it. ‘I understand … about you abandoning me … and I’ve forgiven you, long ago.’

‘Oh, Rocky! Rocky … thank you!’ TammyLee opened her arms wide and they hugged. ‘Every day of my life I’ve thought of you,’ she said passionately. ‘I never, ever stopped loving you … I dreamed that one day you would find me.’

The hug went on for ages, and the angels wound ribbons of light round and round the two of them. At last, Rocky straightened his arms and stood with his hands on her shoulders, a wide grin on his young face. He hesitated, then added what seemed to be two magic words.

‘Hi, Mum!’

They laughed with joy, and I was so entranced that I found myself moving ever closer, until I was sitting on the garden path like an earth cat. TammyLee peeped over Rocky’s shoulder, and stared at me.

‘The CAT!’ she cried. ‘Did you bring her?’

‘What cat?’ Rocky turned to look, and for one eternal, exquisite moment, I kept perfectly still in my shining halo of light, my eyes glistening with love.

I suppose you could say that I‘vanished’ then … melted back into the light, like spirit visitors do. But not before I heard the whisper I’d so longed to hear again.

‘Tallulah … I SAW you! Magic puss cat.’

3. TIMBA COMES HOME

Chapter One

SOLOMON’S BEST KITTEN

‘I hope you’re not alone.’ The young woman spoke to me from the window of her red car. She must have seen my tiny black face peeping out of the grass at the side of the road. We stared at each other, and an overpowering feeling stirred in my sad heart. I was an abandoned kitten, and this young woman with the mane of bright hair was the person I wanted to be with. And she needed me. Her sweet, compassionate face was haunted with stress, as if she hadn’t got time to stop, even for a fluffy black kitten. ‘I’m sorry, kitty. I HAVE to get to work. You go back to your mum-cat.’

How could she know my mum-cat wasn’t there?

‘Please stop. Please pick me up. I’m in trouble.’ I sent her that thought, and my hungry meow sounded like a scream.

‘Angie will come back and check you out later, you little darling,’ she said. ‘And if you’re still here, I’ll take you home … Oh damn!’ she cried as something went wrong with the car. ‘Damn this car. Come ON. I’m late for work.’ She forgot about me as she struggled with the problem, revving the engine and filling the lane with black smoke that made my eyes sting.

Disappointed, I shrank back into the thick grass. My legs wobbled, and I lay down, too weak from hunger to move any more. I hoped Angie would come back for me. She had to. Didn’t she?

But the next minute a stone flew out of the air and landed close to me. I jumped, then trembled as running feet pounded down the lane. Breathing hard, a boy reached down and snatched the stone. He chucked it at some boys who were riding past on bikes. They were laughing at him and calling him names.

‘Leave me alone,’ he yelled back. ‘You bullies.’

‘Leroy’s a loser!’ they chanted.

I crouched there, too petrified to move as the bikes skidded to a halt, sending crumbs of mud flying over my fur. The biggest boy got off his bike and shoved Leroy into the prickly hedge, pushing him again and again into the brambles until he was crying bitterly. Laughing, they rode off and left him there, wiping the blood from his face with his sleeve, and tearing his clothes on the brambles.‘My mum’ll kill me,’ he howled, pulling a long thread from the front of his sweater. He sat there in the mud, sniffing and shaking, and kicking the ground. I offered him a tiny meow of comfort, and immediately wished I hadn’t.

‘WOW!’ he gasped. The crying stopped, and Leroy’s big eyes stared at me. His rough hand reached out and grabbed me round my skinny little tummy. He held me up close to his face and I saw the anger draining away, and a look of pure delight dawning in his eyes. ‘You’re MY kitten!’ he announced, and pulled a stretchy red-and-white sock from his bag. I screamed and struggled, but he stuffed me inside it, right down into the toe. My fur was squeezed flat, my legs twisted as my claws caught in the fabric, my tail hurting. I prayed for Angie to rescue me, but she didn’t. Trapped in the boy’s football sock, I was bundled into a bag and bumped up and down as the boy ran. Then I heard a bell ringing and the sound of children.

I listened carefully, sensing that Angie was there amongst them, and suddenly I heard her bright voice.‘Will you sit down, children, please?’

‘Miss! Leroy McArthur’s got a kitten hidden in his football sock.’

‘WHAT?’

‘He has, Miss. I heard it meowing.’

Terrified, I crouched inside Leroy McArthur’s red-and-white football sock, quiet now because I had no energy to meow. Three days without food and the shock of losing everything I loved had left me too stunned to move. A sustaining flame of pride burned in my heart. I was the best of Solomon’s three kittens, my long black fur glossy and soft, my baby eyes still bright blue.

‘Open your bag, Leroy. NOW, please, and show me this kitten.’

The young teacher’s bubbly voice stirred a memory, buried deep in my consciousness, of another lifetime. I had been Angie’s pampered cat, her healer, and her one true friend.

I felt her lifting the sock into the light.

‘It might be a dead rat, Miss.’

She eased me out and cradled me in hands that had crystal rings and fingernails painted jet black. The air shone with the rainbow auras of children crowding around me.

‘Aw!’ they chorused when they saw me peeping out, and their love made a cushion of compassion for me. I managed a plaintive little squeak.

‘How could you do this, Leroy? To a kitten!’

‘I didn’t do nothing, Miss. It were lying in the grass.’

The boy’s scratchy voice made me look up at him. I stared, transfixed, into Leroy McArthur’s eyes, and a darker memory loomed. Long ago, in that distant lifetime, he had hated cats.

‘It’s my kitten, Miss. I found it,’ he said, ‘and I were gonna take it home and feed it. Me mum won’t mind, honest, Miss.’

I didn’t want to be Leroy McArthur’s cat. Beyond the glaze of his eyes lurked bitterness that would manifest as bullying, with me as the victim. I was only six weeks old, and proud of myself so far. How had my life gone so wrong?

It all began when we three kittens lay cuddled up to our mum-cat, Jessica, in a cosy basket under Ellen’s bed. A beautiful lady came to visit our dad, Solomon. She was so full of light that all of us wanted a touch or a word from her. Quivering with excitement, I sat close to my brother and waited while she focused on my pretty tabby-and-white sister. ‘This is a special kitten,’ she said tenderly. What would she say about ME? I was the biggest and the best, my black face bright with anticipation.

But she ignored me– and my brother.

I was livid.

When she had gone I felt the sting of jealousy. I growled at my little sister and smacked her face with my paw. Jessica gave me a disapproving swipe. It wasn’t fair! Angry, I made up my mind to binge on food and grow into the strongest, most independent cat on the Planet.

Being ignored is the ultimate put-down, and seeing my brother’s disappointed face strengthened my resolve. He was smaller and sleeker than me, and he had a white dot on his nose which gave him a wistful look. He was hypersensitive and vulnerable. I felt protective towards him. In that moment of intense humiliation we bonded for life.

We rubbed cheeks and licked each other’s faces. We slept curled into each other, our limbs entwined. I could feel my brother’s rapid heartbeat, and he could feel mine. The thoughts we had flowed together as if we were one. What if nobody wanted a black cat? We had each other, and in those weeks of babyhood we grew ever closer. Tobe separated would be unthinkable. Together for ever. Two black kittens against the world.

Days later our family was cruelly torn apart. We three kittens ended up abandoned in a hedge at the side of a country lane, closely observed by a bunch of chirping sparrows, a blackbird and two hungry crows. At dusk an owl glided low over the grass. On silent wings it swept up and down, turning its predatory face to look directly at me as I peeped from our hiding place.

We survived without our mother for a few days and nights. It was me who found a nest of dry grass to keep us warm, me who encouraged my brother and sister to lap water from puddles and taste whatever we could find to eat. I was the leader, and proud of it.

Fear is powerful. It can turn moments into eternity, and strength into panic, and panic into fury.

The dog was a hefty Labrador, her coat glistening black. I hissed and spat at her, but she took no notice. I could only watch in helpless rage as she picked up my beautiful tabby-and-white sister and bounded off with her dangling from her mouth. My brother and I huddled together, trembling as the kitten’s piteous cries got fainter and fainter.

Those cries haunted me, for we’d heard our mum-cat crying when we were snatched away from her. Loud and echoing, as if Jessica wanted to fill the skies with the injustice of having her mother-love cut down so ruthlessly. The man, Joe, who bundled us into the cat cage and dumped us, had once held me in his hands and gently stroked me with a big rough finger. He wasn’t cruel, just desperate and drunk.

My dad, Solomon, had explained to me how humans live such complicated lives. They don’t forgive each other like cats do, so their mistakes grow into huge destructive energies which roll on across the years, hurting everyone, even tiny kittens who are full of love and joy.

I kissed my brother on his nose, and licked his sleek head to reassure him. Our sister had gone, but we had each other. I told him we’d find a way to survive, but he didn’t believe me. We were still tiny. Our claws were delicate, our fur so fine that it hardly kept us warm, our tails were optimistic little triangles, our legs wobbly and soft, inadequate for the hardship we now faced.

Pressed together we listened in horror to the sound of the dog returning, her rough paws scratching the tarmac. She hadn’t brought our sister back. Obviously she had killed her with one crunch of those eager teeth. Before we had a chance to escape, the dog came crashing into our hiding place.

My paws turned into steel, and my mouth into the mouth of a dragon. Spitting and screaming I launched myself at the dog’s face. With my claws embedded in her soft, bristly muzzle, I kicked furiously with my back legs. The dog just shoved me aside as if I was nothing. She picked up my beloved brother by the scruff, and the last I saw of him was his wild and desperate eyes looking into mine as he was carried off down the lane.

His cries faded away, and the silence was a new kind of silence. Prickly, like a thorn bush. Entangled in its pain, I felt the loneliness curl around me. To face so much so young seemed overpowering. Grief. Abandonment. Hunger. Danger.

Small as I was, I didn’t intend to let that dog take me. The trot-trot of her paws as she came back down the lane sent me crawling deeper into the hedge, my mind working frantically to find a solution. A hole! That’s what I needed. A hole so tight that her head wouldn’t fit in there.

Under the hedge the ground was crisp with old leaves and twigs, clumps of tangled plants and sprays of tough grass, impossible for an inexperienced kitten to negotiate. I stumbled along, banging my nose until it stung. Instinct told me hiding involved keeping quiet, but my distress was so intense that I couldn’t help meowing.

From under a fern, I listened, and the dog stopped too, listening for me, wondering where I was. I knew she would track me, and I heard the snuff-snuffle of her nose, a whine of excitement as she picked up my scent. I crawled on, in and out of knobbly roots and branches, my heart beating crazily. There was a splintering sound of twigs breaking and the dog pushed into the hedge, shaking it right to the top, sending sparrows fleeing in a burr of wings, and the blackbird shrieking his alarm call.

I felt her determination. She was going to have me.

Well, I could fight! I was the son of Solomon and Jessica, two amazing cats. Surely their legacy of wisdom and courage would help me now.

In a hollow under the hedge was a pile of rubble. Broken glass, blue plastic and jagged lumps of concrete. I clambered over it, cutting my paw on the glass. Sticking out of the rubble was a pipe. Old and dirty, but perfect! I crept inside, down, down into the dark, just in time. The dog’s hot breath gusted after me. She barked, and the sound jolted the pipe and vibrated through my fur. Trembling and weak with exhaustion, I struggled to turn round in the narrow space. It hurt, but I managed it, and crouched there, glaring out at her.

She stuck her nose into the pipe, and I saw a twitch of whiskers and a gleam of red in her brown eyes. But I was safe. She couldn’t reach me. Frustrated, she began to dig furiously, thumping with heavy paws. Idiot, I thought. Wasting energy tearing up the earth. From that moment I despised the entire dog population of the Planet. Wait until I’m big, I thought. No dog is ever going to frighten me again, and I visualised the magnificent fluffy tomcat I would become. Golden-eyed and glossy, and gorgeous.

Inspired, I dared to advance up the pipe and aimed a mini-slash at her nose where I knew it would hurt. A blood-curdling yowl emerged from my mouth and my fur sprang to attention, making me look twice as big and spiky.

The dog’s yelps of pain were music to my baby ears. She backed off and sat there staring and huffing. The stench of her breath made me even angrier. I sent her a telepathic message. ‘Leave me alone, or I’ll come and beat you up when I’m big.’

She whined, and seemed to be trying to explain something to me, but I refused to listen. Traumatised and alone, I focused on an awesome thought that shone into me like a beam of light. My life was worth fighting for, and I was here in this world for a reason.

I remained in the pipe for a long time after the dog had gone. The warm afternoon sunshine and the hum of bees in the clover flowers made me drowsy. When I awoke from a snooze, my guts ached with hunger. I longed for the sweet taste of Jessica’s milk, and wanted her to be there, washing me and purring.

I tried to meow, but no sound would come. I tried to go out and search for food, but my legs were weak. My strength had gone. I was hungry, lost and all alone.

My baby teeth weren’t strong enough to eat ladybirds and slugs. As twilight came, I watched a moth crawl out of the grass and figured it might be something soft for me to eat. It glanced at me with contemptuous orange eyes and flew away on wings that purred like a cat.

The moon was rising, changing from a rosy pink to a sharp white gold. Now very weak, I just lay there watching the night sky. My body was pretty useless, but in my mind something was happening, a light brighter than the moon was waking me up, making me remember.

Solomon had told me cats had lived on Earth for thousands of years. He had told me about an invisible power called love.

So I listened. I gazed at the moon and let it soak into my lonely soul. I saw a light, greater and brighter than the moon, and with energy fizzling around it. I sat up, my hunger forgotten, my loneliness unimportant now as I waited, spellbound, for something to happen.

But what came padding towards me out of the light was a complete surprise.

It was a lion.

A White Lion with a mane that rippled like water. The luminous fur seemed charged with electricity, and barbs of dazzling light pulsed around its edges. The moths and creatures of the night vanished into the stillness. No twigs crackled, no grass rustled, no owls hooted, no rain pattered. Even the wind in the corn was silent, becalmed by this phantom creature from the spirit world.

I thought I was going to die. Or was I dreaming?

When the Lion’s eyes found me, I was hypnotised by their power. I managed to stand up. I walked towards him with my tail up, and lay down in the cocoon of light between his mighty paws, and he was SERIOUSLY SOFT.

We purred together, a tiny kitten who might have been dying, and a White Lion who had come from the spirit world– for ME!

I didn’t know what would happen next, or what I would do when morning came. I gave the last sparks of my energy to listening. Intense listening.

The eyes of the great White Lion burned with a secret he would tell me, if only I had the patience and faith to listen. A long time passed, and at last the words came, drifting out of him like magic seeds from a dandelion clock.

Words I would remember for ever.

Chapter Two

LEROY MCARTHUR’S CAT

An abandoned kitten doesn’t have rights. Humans can make terrible decisions about where and with whom it will live.

There’d been a row between the young teacher, Angie, and Leroy’s mum, Janine.

‘Findings are not keepings, Leroy.’

Angie was small for a human, and she reminded me of a squirrel as she stood there all bushy with anger.

‘They are for the likes of us,’ Janine hissed. ‘We don’t have money in the bank. I have to watch every penny. Leroy can’t have nothing he wants … nothing.’

‘So how can you afford to feed a cat?’ demanded Angie.

‘Cats don’t need much,’ declared Janine. ‘We had cats when I was a child and they lived on scraps.’

SCRAPS! I didn’t like the sound of that. It didn’t fit with my plan to grow into the biggest, fattest, most independent cat.

‘This is a very young kitten,’ Angie said. ‘He’s lost his mother and his home, and he’s weak. He needs feeding up with proper kitty milk … you get it in a tin from the pet shop, and mix it up… it’s specially formulated for weaning kittens.’

Janine snorted.‘Well, I can’t afford fancy stuff like that … good old cow’s milk will have to do.’

‘I’ll be happy to get you a tin of kitty milk … as a gift,’ Angie said. ‘And I’ll get you some sachets of proper kitten food. You can have it on me.’

Janine puffed herself up.‘No thanks. We don’t need charity.’

‘It’s not charity. I’m just concerned for this little kitten’s well-being.’

‘And I’m not, I suppose? I don’t want no bloody handouts from the likes of you. You don’t know NOTHING about how we have to live.’ Janine edged closer, her shoulders squared for attack, her face drained and joyless. ‘I want my Leroy to have the same as his friends.’

‘I ain’t got no friends, Mum,’ Leroy piped up.

‘Be quiet.’

‘This kitten’s gonna be my friend. Aren’t you?’ Leroy said, and his small hands clutched me so fiercely against his heart that I squeaked in alarm and tried to escape by crawling up his sweater.

‘I said shut up. NOW. And don’t let him ruin your school jumper.’

‘But I love him. I do, Mum.’ Two gleaming tears ran down Leroy’s cheeks and dripped onto my fur. ‘Tell her, Miss.’

Angie sat down at the table, bringing her head level with Leroy’s defiant stare.

‘Then try not to squeeze him like that, Leroy. He’s fragile,’ she said tenderly. ‘His little bones are like matchsticks. Let me hold him for a minute, please.’

Leroy clutched me tighter then, so tight I could hardly breathe.

‘You can have him back,’ Angie said, her eyes looking directly into his. ‘I just want to give him a goodbye cuddle. He’s so sweet.’

To be picked up by Angie was heaven for me. I snuggled into her cushiony chest, and listened for the heartbeat, steady and strong under the ruffled blouse she wore. Home. This was home. I couldn’t believe she was letting me go like this … to Leroy McArthur! I gave her a meaningful stare, and began to purr for her. ‘I want to be YOUR cat,’ I was telling her. ‘I belong with you.’

‘He’s purring. Listen.’

Leroy brought his head close, and a magical smile lit up his face.

‘What about his name, Leroy?’ Angie asked. ‘Are you going to give him a name?’

Leroy’s eyes roamed around the classroom and focused on a poster behind the teacher’s desk. He pointed, so I looked, curious to see what name he was going to give me. And there, unexpectedly, was a picture of the face of a White Lion. The moment exploded into magic. My neck got longer and longer as I stared at the Lion’s serious eyes. Was it MY Lion?

Leroy turned, beaming, and shouted out,‘Timba!’ Then he reached to stroke me – this time gently – and he looked right into my eyes. ‘Hello, Timba.’

‘That’s a brilliant name, Leroy,’ said Angie.

‘Timmy will do for me,’ said Janine. ‘We don’t want nothing fancy.’

‘No, Mum. TIMBA,’ insisted Leroy, his eyes round and his voice husky with passion. ‘It’s cos of the White Lions of Timbavati. They came to save the world. Miss told us about them.’

Then Leroy added something amazing.‘And if he had a brother, Miss, I’d call him Vati.’

I thought about my brother. Vati: that’s what his name would be. Timba and Vati. Two black kittens against the world. I remembered Vati’s poetic little face, his sensitivity and the way he had always stayed so adoringly close to me. Right then I wanted him so much.

‘That’s a very clever idea, Leroy,’ Angie said. ‘I like that.’

I was falling asleep in Angie’s comforting hands. Please keep me, I dreamed. I don’t want to be Leroy McArthur’s cat and live on scraps and get squeezed and mauled around.

Those few moments with Angie were precious. I was only a kitten, but I stared into her eyes with the mind of an adult cat who had lived many lives with her. I was searching for reasons why she needed me now. What was causing the stress? Why did I feel this beautiful, loving young woman was hiding so much sadness? I saw the burden of too much caring weighing her down, stealing her happiness. Angie was trying too hard to love. She wasn’t looking after herself. She definitely needed a cat. Me!

Perhaps if I’d stayed awake, there might have been a way of escaping, but I was so tired, and the last thing I heard was Angie’s voice saying, ‘Baby kittens need to sleep a lot, Leroy. You mustn’t try to wake him up.

‘Now you must promise me you will look after Timba and be kind to him. He needs small regular meals, and a litter tray, and a quiet home where he feels safe … Are you listening, Leroy?’

‘Yes, Miss.’

‘And he’s got to go to the vet and have his injections against cat flu. I’ll give you the name of this website about caring for kittens. It’s—’

‘We don’t have a computer,’ said Janine.

‘Right. OK.’ Angie looked thoughtful. She carried me over to the book corner. ‘There should be a book here about cat care.’

‘That’s no good. He can’t read,’ said Janine, and Leroy hung his head and looked ashamed.

‘But you can,’ said Angie, pulling out a slim book with a cat on the front. ‘And Leroy can read now, with a bit of help.’

‘I don’t have time for that,’ Janine said and she pushed the book back across the table. ‘I’m not stupid, you know. I know how to look after a cat. It’s not rocket science, is it?’

In my dream Vati was calling and calling for me. He told me an incredible story. The dog, Harriet, hadn’t hurt him or my tabby-and-white sister but carried them into a cottage where a kind old lady had looked after them and given them kitty milk on a saucer. Then he and my sister had gone to sleep WITH THE DOG! Today they’d both been delivered to a cat sanctuary, and a lady with a painted face had chosen my sister and taken her away. Vati was all alone, like me, and in the dream we established a telepathic link to keep us in touch. We’d always been close and needed each other, but now we were separated our need had become an intense ache in both our souls.

When I finally woke up it was late afternoon, and I was in a cardboard box with Leroy’s woolly hat and a battered teddy bear who looked and smelled musty. I wailed in fright, and Leroy’s bright face peeped in at me. ‘Hello, Timba.’ I meowed back, and he airlifted me out of the box and put me down in front of two dishes. One had milk, and the other had something white with orangey crumbs. The milk tasted weird and sour but I lapped and lapped until my tummy felt warm and heavy. Then I tried the other stuff. ‘A bit of my fish finger,’ Leroy said. ‘I mashed it up for you. Do you like it, Timba?’

Leroy sat on the floor with me and talked non-stop while I sidled round the dish, trying to work out a way of eating this tough, unfamiliar food. It tasted OK, but the crumbs were gritty and the fish too chewy for my immature teeth. I dragged most of it off the dish and made what Janine called‘a dreadful mess’.

‘You can’t force him to eat, Leroy,’ she said, but he kept picking up flakes of fish and trying to put them in my mouth.

Next, Leroy wanted me to play, and he waved all sorts of bits and pieces right in front of my face when I was TRYING to wash. Jessica had always washed me first. I was her favourite, and her bristly tongue dealt efficiently with my long fur. Doing it myself was hard. I needed space and quiet so I crept under a table, but Leroy followed me, crawling as if he was a cat. The floor felt sticky and wisps of fluff clung to the chair legs, and there was nothing to look at. I longed to be sitting in a sunny window, or in a garden where things were happening. This was a gaunt and gloomy place.

‘Leave the poor kitten alone!’ Janine shrieked. ‘And get up off the floor. Who’s going to do your washing?’

Leroy took no notice of her. He seemed obsessed with watching what I was doing. Janine reached under the table, her eyes furious. She got hold of his arm and dragged him out, banging his head on the table edge. His roar of pain and rage frightened me, and I ran for the nearest crack, a space behind a cupboard, and squeezed in there. My washing effort was now impossible.

I peeped out, horrified at the sight of two humans fighting. Leroy was howling, his mouth open wide, his eyes and nose running, and he was kicking viciously at Janine’s shins, and clutching his head.

‘I hate you. You made me bang my head. You done it on purpose. You’re a horrible mother and I HATE YOU.’

‘Don’t you kick me! GET to your room. NOW!’

‘I hurt my head.’

‘I don’t care. You’ve been winding me up all day. Get out of my sight. Go on. Go!’ Janine pushed Leroy through a door and slammed it shut. She leaned against it, breathing hard, while Leroy kicked and thundered on the other side. ‘Bloody kid,’ she muttered, her lips white with fury. She slumped into a chair and sat with her hands over her ears.

Leroy pushed his way back through the door, picked up a chair and lifted it high above his head.

‘Don’t you DARE,’ warned Janine, but Leroy flung the chair violently across the room, knocking Janine’s coffee cup off the table, cracking it into jagged pieces. The coffee poured over her magazines and splashed onto the carpet. ‘Right … that’s it!’ she yelled. ‘Bloody well break up what’s left of this place, you evil little bastard.’ Jumping to her feet, she seized the broken chair and tore the leg off it with a cracking, splintering sound. Brandishing it, she flew at Leroy. ‘I’ll kill you!’ She lunged at him, but Leroy dodged out of the way. He grinned atthe sight of his mum losing her cool, and that made Janine worse. ‘I’ll get rid of you,’ she growled. ‘I’ll get the socials to put you in care.’

Leroy suddenly looked devastated, and frightened.‘No, Mum, please. I’ll be good. I’m sorry for winding you up … I won’t do it no more. I’ll go to bed.’ And he went upstairs.

‘Don’t give me that bullshit.’ Janine collapsed into an armchair and turned on the TV. It flickered blue, then went blank. The lights went out with a snap. ‘Oh no! The meter’s run out. And I’ve no money,’ Janine wailed. ‘I’ll have to sit here in the dark.’

She opened the curtains and the orange light from the street made a dim glow. I didn’t mind the dark; in fact I found it soothing after the noise and the fighting.

What about me? I thought. I am only a kitten.

Thinking about the loneliness and longing for my brother didn’t change anything. So I remembered something Solomon had told me. ‘Use your tail,’ he’d said. ‘Humans can’t resist tails. Your tail is like a smile when it’s up. At the worst times, when humans really get to you, don’t hide, don’t sulk … walk out there with your tail up.’

My tail wasn’t very long yet, but I decided to have a go. When Janine had quietened down, I meowed, put my tail up and walked out there.

She melted!

‘Oh Timba, you’re so cute,’ she crooned. ‘Poor little scrap … we weren’t shouting at you, sweetheart.’

She picked me up and let me nestle into her shoulder. I rubbed my soft fur against her bare neck, and we sat together in a calming silence. The ultimate surprise was that it made me feel better too.

‘It works every time,’ Solomon had said.

Encouraged by my unexpected success, I listened to this angry woman’s heartbeat. It sounded like tired footsteps.

A young kitten doesn’t usually experience sadness, but it wasn’t new to me. Already, in my short life, I’d had a bucketful. Yet it hadn’t touched my spirit. I could play and cheer myself up, any time, and I was glad to be a cat and not a human. So I decided to try and comfort Janine with my love, the way I’d comforted Vati. Janine was huge of course compared to a kitten, so I focused on her neck and shoulder, giving her little licks and purrs.

‘You’re a poppet …’ As she stroked me she began to talk, the words tumbling out of her as if they couldn’t wait to escape. ‘It’s no fun, being a single parent,’ she confided, ‘and Leroy’s a nightmare … an absolute nightmare … always has been. I am at my wits’ ends with him, and I know I shouldn’t hit him, but I can’t help it. I get so desperate.’

I listened, not understanding most of it, only sensing some bond I had with her, some undiscovered reason why I was there. Why me? And then it washed over me like the cold night air. I heard the word‘dump’, and saw the light from the window shining through the slow-moving tears on Janine’s cheeks. ‘I’m so scared,’ she said, ‘of those social workers. They’re gonna take my Leroy away … I know they are … that is, if I don’t dump him in care first.’

I got the picture. Dumping. Abandoning. How well I understood that!

‘Sometimes I just want to end it all,’ Janine continued. ‘Take a load of pills, or pack my bag and get the hell out.’

Was that why I had been sent? To be Leroy McArthur’s cat?

Leroy’s tantrums happened several times a day, and usually involved a dispute with his mother. I became an expert at finding places to hide in the cluttered house. It made the time I had spent in the hedge with Vati and my sister seem happy, a time of sunshine and discovery. Here in this house, there wasn’t a world. I had no contact with living creatures, no chance to observe their ways and learn. I was a kitten in prison.

Leroy couldn’t leave me alone. He’d pick me up and put me in some bizarre place so that he could watch the effect it had on me. Once it was high up on a top shelf where I felt unsafe so wanted to get down. He stood there laughing while my meows got more and more frantic. Another time he picked me up whenI was asleep and put me into a deep stone urn. I woke up cold, and looked at the circle of light above me. Not yet strong enough to jump out, I panicked, screaming, and scrabbling on the slippery surface.

Instead of rescuing me, Leroy looked into the urn and shouted,‘Boo.’ Then he tapped the urn with a spoon and the sharp ringing noise really upset me and hurt my sensitive ears. When Janine heard me wailing, it led to yet another row between them.

‘Either you stop tormenting Timba, or he goes back. Angie said she’d give him a home if things didn’t work out.’

‘I’m not tormenting Timba,’ Leroy argued. ‘I’m just entertaining him.’

‘No, you’re teasing him. Can’t you see the difference?’

Leroy shrugged. He picked me up before Janine did, and held me against his bony little chest.‘He’s my kitten, aren’t you, Timba?’

‘Well he won’t love you if you treat him like that.’

‘He does love me.’ Leroy clenched his hand until I squealed.

Janine shouted at him furiously.‘Stop squeezing him. He’s not a toy, Leroy. You’ll hurt him. Stop it, you stupid boy.’

‘I ain’t stupid.’ Leroy glared and pouted.

I felt the pain rush through his young body, and it was a new experience for me. Whatever Leroy did to me, his pain was worse than mine, and it was attacking his heart.

I climbed up to Leroy’s shoulder, and saw the pulse beating hard in his neck. I rubbed my head against it, and purred into his ear. He peeped round at me and smiled. For the first time I felt it was possible to love this desolate boy who seemed to be disliked by everyone, especially his mother.

Later that morning I escaped into the garden. It had long grass, piles of boxes and broken bikes. Out in the sunshine I felt alive again, smelling and listening, my whiskers twitching, my eyes following every movement. The sky felt like a blue umbrella, a friendly sheltering dome above me, and the breeze ruffled my fur. I tried to sense my brother and figure out where he was, but a different animal smell came to me from a tunnel. Intrigued, I ventured inside, following the curve of it, hoping it might be a way out of the garden, a chance for me to run away from Leroy and search for Angie.

But deep down in the grass tunnel was a creature bigger than me with a pink snout of a nose and two beetle-black eyes. A rat! I turned into a ball of wire bristles and hissed at him. He lunged at me in a blaze of whiskers and a gleam of white fangs. I fled in terror, hearing his enraged squeak as he chased me. He would kill me. Where could I go?

I shot out of the tunnel and made for the doorstep. Leroy was sitting there laughing at me.‘What’s the matter, Timba?’ I dived inside his jacket, settling under his arm, where the slow beating of his heart calmed me down, made me feel safe again. When I peeped out there was no sign of the rat, and I was glad to let Leroy carry me indoors. Humans do have their uses, I thought, despite their bizarre behaviour.

Chapter Three

SURVIVING

Leroy’s bed was a chaotic heap of clothes, pillows and smelly old teddy bears. Without undressing or washing, he kicked off his shoes and got in, keeping me there on his shoulder as he dragged a duvet over himself. To my surprise, he went to sleep instantly, and then, in the stillness and the silence, I saw his angel.

She wasn’t hovering in the air. She was all around Leroy like a shining blanket, her beautiful face close to his head. I meowed, hoping she would notice me, and she did. We gazed into each other’s eyes and for me it was like drinking when you are thirsty. The radiance of an angel’s eyes is limitless and sustaining. I was thrilled when she spoke to me.

‘It was me who told you to purr, Timba,’ she said, while I soaked up every life-giving word. ‘You are a fabulous kitten, a messenger of love and fun.’

‘So why have I ended up with Leroy? It feels wrong,’ I said.

‘It isn’t wrong, Timba. You’ve done everything right and we are proud of you. Leroy is having a difficult childhood, like you, and he needs your love. You are a tiny kitten, I know, but your love is not tiny. Your love is huge and powerful. Your love is like an angel. Always remember that.’

As if I would forget! Her words were music to me.

‘You will mature into a strong and magnificent cat, Timba. You and Leroy have a special bond. There will be happy times. You can have one right now, while Leroy is sleeping!’

She closed her beautiful eyes and her light lingered around the sleeping boy. I got up and stretched my small body. It felt flexible and re-energised. In the dim orange glow from the street lights outside the window, I surveyed Leroy’s bedroom and felt excited. So many interesting things to play with. If only Vati was there with me.

Playing on my own made me use my imagination. I patted a silver bottle top and pretended it was a mouse. Even though I had never actually seen a mouse, my instinct told me how fast a mouse moved and how it dived into holes. There were plenty of‘holes’ around. Carrier bags, shoes and piles of clothes cluttered the floor, creating pockets of darkness. I practised chasing the bottle top into one, then stalking it like a grown-up cat. I found a toggle hanging from a coat and had a go at leaping and twisting to catch it, not always landing the right way up, and frightening myself a little, especially with the noise I was generating. Loudest was a paper carrier bag. It crackled like thunder when I was jumping around inside it, and the sound excited me. My tail bushed out and everything became too vivid, as if no barriers existed between imagination and reality. Tense with excitement, I stood looking up at Leroy’s football which seemed to be shivering all by itself. I patted it, and it moved. Was it alive? I pretended it was that dog’s face, and launched myself at it, digging my claws in and kicking. It rolled over on top of me, scaring me so much that I ran faster than ever before and skidded into the slot under Leroy’s bed.

Peering out at the football, I watched to see if it would move again, if it was really alive and planning to attack me, but it just sat there. The hiding and the watching made me feel lonely. What I needed was another kitten to share the experiences, someone to practise fighting and chasing with. A football was no good. It didn’t squeal and kick me back.

I needed my brother Vati. I needed him so much that the space around me seemed to be hurting my fur. Empty space, inanimate objects, dead-eyed teddy bears who refused to move. I crept out again, looked up at Leroy’s sleeping face and wanted to be close to the warmth of another living being. In my sadness I no longer saw the angel, only the troubled boy who slept with a frown on his face.

Perhaps I would never be happy without Vati. We were meant to be together, like our names. Something was wrong with the world if two kittens couldn’t grow up together as nature intended.

Overwhelmed by my lonely playtime, I managed to climb up the duvet and nestle down close to Leroy’s face. His steady breathing calmed me. In his sleep he smiled and whispered, ‘Timba,’ and for once his hand touched me gently. We had survived our first day together, and for me it had been scary. I didn’t think I could stand another one, not without Vati by my side. Before being abandoned, we’d begun to play and wrestle together, challenging each other, but never hurting. We’d learned how to be kind to each other, washing and licking and pressing close, and the three of us had slept in a comforting mound, our limbs tangled like the roots of a tree.