Snow Angels

26

The faces of Valtteri and Maria, their grief and horror, are frozen in my mind. I want to be alone, so I take my time driving back to the police station. I can sit in my office, write reports. The national chief of police has been like an ax hanging over my neck. Maybe letting him know the case is drawing to a close will pacify him. But first I need to read the report about Heikki’s DNA results.

At a stop sign near the station, a car pulls up beside me in the wrong lane. Seppo’s BMW. Heli waves at me from the driver’s seat. The passenger-side window rolls down, and I roll down my window to hear her. She shouts at me to follow her.

She guns the engine, wheels spin on the ice, the BMW shoots past me. I wonder who’s been killed this time, pull out fast and hurry to keep up with her. She blows through a red light, I do the same. After a few blocks, she turns a corner and parks. I stop behind her.

She gets out of the car and leans against the door. She’s tiny and shivering, bunches up her coat at the neck to keep out the cold. My hands shake from adrenaline. “What the fuck?” I ask.

She points at the neon sign of a diner flashing in the dark. “I saw you driving and thought we could have that cup of coffee we talked about.”

“I didn’t talk about it, you did. You drove like a bat out of hell and ran a red light. Are you insane?”

She laughs. “I was just having fun, teasing you a little. Gonna give me a ticket?”

She pissed me off, but I don’t want her to see it. “I need to talk to you anyway. Go inside, I’ll be there in a second.”

From the warmth of my car, I call Antti. “I’m in a hurry,” I say. “You found Heikki’s DNA in Seppo’s house. What was it from and where did you find it?”

“Pubic hair,” he says, “on the rim of the upstairs toilet and in their bed. On the mattress under the sheet.”

“No DNA on the sheet?”

“The bedclothes were fresh. There was a load of sheets and towels in the dryer. They’d been washed in a detergent with bleaching agent. No chance for DNA.”

I click off, take a tape recorder from the glove compartment and put it in my coat pocket.

She hasn’t chosen just any diner, it’s our diner. We came here together when we were kids, when we were first dating. The place hasn’t changed in thirty years. You can still get an ice cream float here. I find Heli looking at the magazine rack. We hid behind it and shared our first kiss when we were thirteen.

“Let’s get that coffee,” I say.

The same guy that waited on us almost thirty years ago is still behind the counter. It looks like he’s still wearing the same bow tie. The place smells like he hasn’t changed the French fry grease either. He’s about sixty years old and owns the place now. He’s surprised to see us together, raises his eyebrows but doesn’t comment. “What can I get you kids?” he asks.

“Two coffees,” Heli says. “Mine with milk, black for Kari.”

She pays. We sit down in a booth.

“Congratulations on your marriage,” I say.

“Thank you. It was long overdue, seemed like the right time.”

Heli no longer seems like the raging woman that spit on me, or the ice queen that sat in my office. She’s got on worn boots and jeans, an old sweater. She’s without makeup and her long blond hair is braided in pigtails. She’s smiling, and I recognize the girl I fell in love with. I suspect this is her intention.

“You have a flair for the dramatic,” I say.

“The diner seemed appropriate,” she says, “after all this time.”

“After thirteen years, I don’t see any reason to relive old memories.”

“It seems like a good place to create new memories. I apologize for the way I acted. I was a bitch. There’s no excuse for bad behavior, but you barged into our home and shocked me, and I thought you were out to get Seppo. I can see now that those things aren’t true.”

Sarcasm creeps into my voice. “You can, can you?”

“Yes, and I’m sorry. I also want to thank you for releasing Seppo so quickly when his innocence became clear.”

“You thanked me for releasing Seppo by telling a reporter I threatened him.”

“Seppo was angry at me for that. I was still mad at you then.”

“But you’re not anymore.”

She smiles, stirs her coffee, clinks the spoon against the inside of the cup. “No.”

I set the tape recorder on the table. “Then you won’t mind helping me out with the investigation and answering a few questions.”

She grimaces. “Do we need that? It makes me nervous.”

It’s my turn to smile. “My memory isn’t what it used to be. I need it.”

She looks thoughtful, sips her coffee. “How’s the investigation into the girl’s murder going?”

“It’s drawing to a conclusion. I understand you knew Heikki.”

She puts on a sad face, an appropriate tear wells up. “He was such a sweet boy, I was shocked when I heard. How are his parents?”

She reaches toward my hand, as if she’s trying to share a moment with me. I move mine away. “They’re like you’d expect. What did you hear?”

She fiddles with a salt shaker, like she didn’t mean to take my hand. “There’s talk around the church that he hung himself, and that he,” she pauses, sniffles, “might have had something to do with the girl’s murder. It’s so tragic. Is it true?”

“That’s confidential. Let’s get to what I wanted to talk to you about. How well did you know Heikki?”

“Not well, but we were sort of friends. He needed some money, he was saving for a car and college. I gave him some jobs to do around the house.”

“That’s all?”

She thinks about it for a minute. “After he shoveled the snow or whatever, we’d have hot chocolate, talk about the Bible.”

“I forgot you’re here to rediscover your religious roots. How’s that working out?”

She looks hurt, guides the subject back where she wants it. “You don’t have to be mean. People change, you know. I was on the way home from a church meeting when I saw you driving. I’m serious about my religion. I just wondered how a nice boy like Heikki could have done such a thing.”

“You seem pretty concerned.”

“Maybe it’s morbid curiosity, but it’s not every day that a boy you have in your home turns out to have done something like that. It’s hard to believe.”

Heli always did have an inclination toward the macabre, loved crime and horror films. I remember when she watched me stomp that little bird to death: she didn’t look upset, she looked fascinated.

“Heikki had some unusual religious ideas,” I say. “Did he ever say anything that struck you as odd?”

She shakes her head. “He seemed like a fine young man.”

I start to home in. “I’ll satisfy your morbid curiosity. We’ve placed Heikki at the crime scene. We found his tears on her face. Imagine, he butchered her like an animal, then felt such remorse that he cried on her face as soon as he’d done it and committed suicide a couple days later.”

She sheds a couple tears of her own. “Poor her. Poor him. He must have been so disturbed.”

“It’s generous of you to sympathize with the suffering of a woman that had an affair with your husband.”

She sighs. “Whatever she did, she didn’t deserve to die like that.”

I nod in agreement, try to gauge the level of her sincerity. “How many times did Heikki come over to your house?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, a few.”

“Where did you sit when you had your Bible talks?”

“At the dining room table, on the living room sofa.” She looks into my eyes, probing. “What are you getting at?”

“We found his pubic hair in your upstairs bathroom and on your bed. I was wondering how they got there.”

Her eyes go dull like a snake’s, then they start to dance and she sits back and laughs at me. “Kari, are you suggesting I had an affair with a sixteen-year-old boy?”

She keeps laughing until tears roll down her cheeks. I wait for her to stop. “I’m not suggesting anything, why would you think that?”

“It seems to be your implication.”

“I asked you a simple question. How do you think his pubic hair made its way into your bedroom and bathroom?”

She gives me the look she gave me when I interviewed her in my office. The one that says I’m stupid. “Let’s use our imaginations, shall we? He has to pee, a couple pubes come loose. One stays in the bathroom, the other sticks to my or Seppo’s feet and gets tracked into the bed.”

“You have a bathroom downstairs. Why would he go upstairs?”

“I don’t know, but which story sounds more plausible, a hair tracked into a bed, or me fucking the boy? Think about it.”

“I didn’t accuse you of fucking the boy. He used your car to commit the crime. Now it’s your turn to think about it. Tell me what conclusions you draw.”

She rests her elbows on the table, her chin on her hands. Time goes by. The idea hits her like it hit me. She sits bolt upright. “No fucking way,” she says.

“You’ve got a dirty mouth for a churchgoing girl.”

“Old habits die hard.” She starts laughing again. “You can’t seriously believe Seppo had a homosexual relationship with that boy.”

I don’t say anything, stare at her and wait.

“It’s impossible,” she says.

“Why?”

She has no answer. We stare at each other. I let her win and speak first. “Have you ever known Seppo to be involved in a gay relationship?”

She gulps down the rest of her coffee. Her lack of an answer is an answer.

“Heli, if you know something, you should tell me. You could end up being an accessory, which would mean jail time. I’m not threatening you, I’m trying to help you.”

She stands up, winds her scarf around her neck, puts on her coat. “I know you’re concerned about me, but you’re barking up the wrong tree. You’re a good guy, you always were. I’d forgotten.”

We step out into the dark together. The diner door has a bell on it that makes a friendly ring. The cold takes my breath for a second. “Thanks for the coffee,” I say, and head for my car.

She calls after me, “Kari.”

I turn toward her. She opens the door of the BMW, looks at me. “I’m sorry I hurt you when I left you. I loved you once.”

I’m not sure why, but I’m glad she said it. I nod at her but don’t know what I mean by it. Maybe it’s thanks-maybe it’s simple acknowledgment.

Heli starts the BMW. I have to test something out. I walk over, she rolls down the passenger-side window and I stick my head in while I talk to her.

“A couple days ago,” I say, “this crazy idea occurred to me that you learned about Seppo’s affair and decided to get rid of Sufia. You and Seppo were unmarried. If Seppo left you for Sufia, by Finnish law, you’d get nothing. You seduced Heikki and played on his religious beliefs, convinced him that Sufia was a nigger whore, a sinner that deserved to die, then you and he colluded in Sufia’s murder.”

I pause. Heli’s face registers nothing. I continue.

“You and Heikki used Seppo’s car and framed him, then you convinced Seppo to marry you, fed him some song and dance about how your solidarity would speak of his innocence. Marriage would assure your financial well-being. You drove Heikki to suicide by telling him the truth, that you used him and intended to discard him. Of course, I can see now that all this couldn’t be true. Seems like a stupid idea, looking back.”

Her expression doesn’t change. “You have a wild imagination.”

“Yeah, I do. A homosexual love affair between Seppo and Heikki is a far more economical solution. It’s all there. Motive. Opportunity. Still, you can see how all the pieces fit in the scenario with you and Heikki as well, it’s just more complicated that way.”

Heli smirks and starts to close her window.

Something hits me. “Hey, wait a second,” I say. “How do you spell lasi, glass, in English?”

“Why?”

“I have to send my wife a text message and can’t remember.”

“G-R-A-S-S.”

She rolls up her window and drives away. I light a cigarette. The cold makes my eyes run and blur. Her taillights streak red and fade away. Heli’s English always sucked. Could Sufia really have had a broken bottle stuffed into her vagina because Heli read a website wrong and mistook “grass” for “glass”? I stand under a streetlight, smoke and think for a while.