Skulduggery Pleasant

Chapter Twenty-three Thoughts on Dying Horribly the Elders were not happy.

Eachan Meritorious and Sagacious Tome spoke in hushed voices at the other end of the Sanctuary meeting room. Meritorious was calm but solemn. Tome was livid and panicking.

Stephanie sat beside Skulduggery. Across the table, Tanith was cleaning her sword. She had something in her hair.

"Tanith?" Stephanie whispered. Tanith looked up. "You have something . . ." She pointed to her own head as a hint. "It's a leaf, or something."

"Oh, thanks," Tanith said, and put her hand to her hair. She felt around until she found it and pulled it out. She examined it and frowned, looking closer; then her face contorted in disgust and she dropped it onto the table. "Oh my God."

"What is it?"

"It's a piece of Hollow Man skin."

Stephanie blanched. "Oh, that's disgusting."

"It was in my hair," Tanith moaned, flicking the skin across the table.

Stephanie recoiled and flicked it back and Tanith started to laugh, but Skulduggery's hand came down, trapping it. He looked at them both.

"Four-year-olds," he said. "We're facing an unimaginable crisis and I'm dealing with four-year-olds."

"Sorry," said Stephanie.

"Sorry," said Tanith.

Morwenna Crow and China Sorrows walked in, followed seconds later by Ghastly Bespoke.

"Did they find anything?" Skulduggery asked, standing.

Morwenna answered. "The Cleavers have stormed every hideout and haunt we know of, and they haven't found one trace of Serpine."

"The news about the Scepter is spreading,"

China said. "There are rumors that he is bringing his old allies in from the cold."

Meritorious and Tome joined them.

"If even one of the exiles returns," Meritorious said, "the balance of power will have shifted too much. We'll be overrun."

"We need to get that Scepter from him," Tanith said, "see how he likes it."

"It wouldn't work," China said. "Even if we could get close to it without the crystal warning him that we're near, he owns it now, and no one else can use it while he's alive."

"Then we kill him," Tome said.

Meritorious looked to Skulduggery, who nodded and spoke up. "Unfortunately, killing Serpine is not as easy as it may appear. He should be dead right now. I don't mean wounded, I don't mean dying, I mean dead. But he healed himself."

Stephanie frowned. "He can't be killed?"

"Everyone can be killed," Skulduggery said, turning his head to her slightly. "That's the one great assurance. I haven't encountered one thing on this planet that I haven't been able to kill, and I'm not going to let him be the exception to the rule."

"We need to strike now," Morwenna said, "before he can consolidate his power."

"How can we do that if we don't even know where he is?" Sagacious Tome asked impatiently.

"But we might know where he was," Skulduggery said. "Last night I received a call from a gentleman who supplies me with information from time to time. A distinctive silver car was seen on Denholm Street, near the docks. I made a call or two, established that almost every building on that street is being leased by a reputable firm. The one exception is a warehouse that has been leased to an individual, Mr. Howard L. Craft."

Tome frowned. "So?"

"L. Craft. Lovecraft. Howard Philip Lovecraft wrote a series of stories commonly referred to as the Cthulhu Mythos, about dark gods who wanted to rule the Earth. Some historians claim that Mr. Lovecraft based his creations, in part, on legends he had heard about the Faceless Ones."

Tome grimaced. "That's your only lead? A trick name Serpine may have used? We don't have time to be wasting on such vague half clues; we've got to act on what we know!"

"Well, what exactly do we know?" Morwenna asked. "We know he has a lunatic scheme to bring back the Faceless Ones, but we don't know how he intends to do it."

"Mr. Bliss said the Scepter was nothing more than a stepping-stone," Stephanie offered.

"This is a grown-up conversation," Tome said, exasperated. "We don't need input from you, child."

Tanith and China spoke as one. "Don't call her 'child.'"

Clearly unused to admonitions from anyone who wasn't an Elder, Tome spluttered a bit, and his face grew redder. Stephanie did her best to hide her grin behind a mask of serene indifference.

Tanith caught her eye and winked.

"If the Scepter is a stepping-stone," Skulduggery said, ignoring Tome's indignation, "then he's going to use it to somehow retrieve the ritual he needs."

"Then it's our job to make sure that doesn't happen," Meritorious said. "Skulduggery, on behalf of the Council of Elders, I apologize for not involving you in this when we found Serpine's surveillance team dead. I also apologize for not listening to your warnings."

"Serpine would have had a backup plan,"

Skulduggery said. "That's what makes him so dangerous."

"Maybe. I'm afraid it's up to you and Miss Cain, and whoever else you might need, to try to find out what his next move is. I'm sorry for saddling you with that responsibility, but my fellow Elders and I are needed to prepare for all-out war."

Skulduggery bowed slightly. "In that case, we'll get right on it."

"Thank you."

Skulduggery wrapped the scarf around his face and put on his hat, then looked at the serious faces around him. "Cheer up, everyone," he said, a new brightness to his voice. "Since we're all going to die horribly anyway, what's there to be worried about?"

Stephanie very much feared she was going ever so slightly insane, because she found herself agreeing wholeheartedly with the living skeleton she was now following out of the room.

The Bentley was waiting for them when they left the Sanctuary. It gleamed like it was glad to be back to its former beauty. Stephanie got in and sank into the seat. The Bentley smelled nice. It smelled how beautiful cars ought to smell. The Canary Car hadn't smelled nice.

It had just smelled yellow.

"It's good to have it back," Stephanie said when Skulduggery got in. "They worked miracles on it, they really did. Two days, and it looks brand-new."

Skulduggery nodded. "Cost me a fortune."

"It's worth it."

"Glad you think so. Also glad that I don't have to eat anytime soon. Or at all."

She smiled and looked at him. He was looking out the windshield. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm sorry?"

"You're thinking about something."

"I'm always thinking about something. Thinking is what I do. I'm very good at it."

"But you've just figured something out."

"And how did you know that?"

"You hold your head differently when you've just figured something out. So what is it?"

"It just occurred to me," he said. "In the cave, the Scepter's crystal warned Serpine that I was close — but it didn't warn him that you were right there beside him."

She shrugged. "Maybe it didn't see me as a threat. It's not like I could have hurt him or anything."

"That's hardly the point," Skulduggery said. "We may have found a weakness in the ultimate weapon."

Stephanie frowned. "What?"

"Remember what Oisin, the nice man in the Echo Stone, said?" Skulduggery asked. "The black crystal sang to the gods whenever an enemy neared, but it was silent when the Ancients took it."

"So, what, it thinks I'm an Ancient?"

"Technically, according to your father at least, you might well be."

"Does that mean you're starting to believe that they were more than just legends and myths?"

"I'm . . . keeping an open mind about it. The thing I still don't understand, however, is why Gordon didn't tell me about your family history. We were friends for years, we had conversations about the Ancients and the Faceless Ones that went on for days, so why didn't he tell me?"

"Does it mean anything else? Being descended from the Ancients, I mean. What does it, what..."

"What does it signify?"

"Yes."

"It means you're special. It means you're meant to do this, you're meant to be involved in this world, in this life."

"I am?"

"You are."

"Then maybe that's why he didn't tell you. He wanted to write about it from the outside, not be stuck in the middle of it all."

He cocked his head. "You're wise beyond your years, Valkyrie."

"Yes," she said. "Yes I am."