Skin Deep

CHAPTER 25

FROM THE CHRONIC state of disarray in Laura’s InterSec office, it was obvious no assistant cleaned up after her. The desktop and two credenzas held stacks of reports she never got around to filing. Someone scanned major reports into the computer system anyway, giving her even less incentive to tidy up. Even the guest chair that Sinclair occupied had papers on it. He didn’t bother to remove them before he sat.

Laura rubbed her finger along the edge of Blume’s business card as she waited for the number to connect. The simplicity of the card struck her again, the lack of need or desire to impress.

“Officer Crawford,” Blume answered.

Laura pursed her lips. She hadn’t given him Janice’s cell number. “Yeah, it’s me. I need some work.”

“I believe you are on sick leave,” he said.

“It’s a respiratory thing. I was wondering if you could use me for something that doesn’t involve running.” A trickle of essence came out of the phone. Blume didn’t hide his attempt to sense her location. She pushed back before his spell had time to take an imprint of her surroundings. She didn’t really care if it did, since the Guildhouse wouldn’t have surprised him, but she didn’t want to look sloppy when she was applying for a security job.

“Why the change of heart?” he asked.

She rolled her shoulders in a disinterested shrug. As Laura or Mariel, she didn’t use much body language on the phone. It felt right for Janice, though. “I don’t see any overtime in my future, and I need cash.”

“I can offer you door security,” Blume said.

Exactly what Janice had told him she didn’t want to do. If anything, Blume was a game player. “That’s fine. I’m free tonight and next Tuesday.”

Amusement colored Blume’s voice. “Oh? I may not need you then.”

Laura threw her hands up. “Whatever. You offered. I’ll look somewhere else if you don’t have anything.”

“No, it’s fine. Let’s start you tonight and see how things work out. Nine o’clock.” He disconnected.

Laura glanced at Sinclair. “He bit. I’m on the door tonight.”

Sinclair stretched out his legs and knocked over a stack of journals. They both ignored it. “I’m working security for a meeting at seven. What’s the plan?”

She walked around the desk. “Ingratiate. We get the lay of the land. I want to know if Blume is more connected to Alfrey. I’m getting coffee. Want any?”

Sinclair grabbed her arm as she passed. “What’s up? You’ve been quiet since I got here.”

She arched an eyebrow at his hand. “Let’s call it a bad day at the office.”

He smirked. “Which office?”

She shrugged out of his grasp. “Really, Jono. Not a joke.”

His amusement faded. “Sorry. Cream and light on the sugar, please.”

She returned and set a cup on the front of the desk as she circled to her chair. Sinclair picked up the cup and sipped. “Mmm. Better than the station.”

Laura held a mug with both hands. “Cress brings in her own beans.”

Sinclair propped his feet up on the corner of her desk. “You want to talk about it?”

She shook her head as she swallowed. “It won’t change anything.”

“Might change your mood,” he said.

“I don’t know if I want to change my mood.”

He nodded slowly and sipped his coffee. “I like a good wallow myself sometimes. I usually drink beer, though.”

Laura snorted. “How many cops have I heard that from?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you looking to pick a fight? ’Cause we can do that if you want. I like a good tussle, too, ya know.”

She stared into her mug. She did want to fight. Something. She wanted to exhaust the anger out of herself, hit something to make things right again. She wanted to go back in time and ask Liam where her paperweight was when she first noticed it missing. She wanted Lawrence Scales to be alive. “A man died because of me,” she said.

Sinclair nodded. “Was he on the job?”

“Sort of.”

“Then it wasn’t because of you. It was because of the job. It’s what we sign up for. All of us,” he said.

She put her mug down and crossed her arms. “Bullshit.”

He shook his head. “No bullshit, and you know it, babe. I don’t carry a gun because I think no one else does. You don’t do your mojo because you think no one else will. When we get into this, we know the bad guys shoot back. It’s why we do it and why it sucks. Unless you pointed a gun or your finger at his head and pulled the trigger for no good reason, I’m not going to listen to any blame laying.”

She ran a hand through her hair and stared at the ceiling. “I know. It doesn’t make it any easier. Don’t call me babe, by the way. I’m not your babe.”

He affected surprise. “What? You don’t like nicknames?”

“Not the sexist kind.”

He shrugged. “Oh, it wasn’t sexist. Babe is short for baby, as in too immature to deal with grown-up stuff. I was being condescending.”

She gave her eyes a derisive roll. “Do you really think you can bait me that easily?”

He grinned. “Yep.”

She shook her head. “Really, Jono, knock it off. You want to get to know me, not taking me seriously isn’t the way to go.”

He held up his hands. “Okay. I’m sorry. Really. I’m just trying to figure out why a woman who threatened to kill me is suddenly having such a hard time because someone died.”

She met his eyes. “Maybe I’m not who you think I am.”

He shook his head. “I may not know who you are, but I know what you are. You’re human.”

She chuckled derisively. “No. No, I’m not, Jono. I’m fey. I leave destruction in my wake. Isn’t that what the humans say?”

He walked around the desk and crouched in front of her. She thought for a moment he was going to touch her. Instead, he clasped his hands and smiled up at her. “Skip the labels, babe. You’re human because of what you feel right now. Being human has nothing to do with race or essence ability.”

She stared down at him. He meant what he said. “You called me babe, again.”

He poked her in the knee. “I guess I did. Now, I’m going to leave and get ready for work. You are going to finish your coffee, take a hot shower, and remember you’re one of the good guys. Got it?”

His sincerity touched her. “Got it.”

He leaned on her knee as he stood. “I’ll see you later then.”

She stared at the empty doorway long after he left. Intellectually, she knew he was right. Emotionally was harder. She spent so much time hiding her emotions from other people, it had become ingrained. Liam, whom she thought a friend, had proved it to her. Mariel was her most complete persona, and yet Liam had no idea whether to trust her. She’d thought he did. She thought she had created a personality for Mariel that no one would doubt. But somehow, she missed the wall she put up for the persona. She realized that wall was part of all her personas and had become a part of herself. It had become so natural, she didn’t even see she had walled off herself. That had to change. She couldn’t do it anymore.

She sighed and dropped her head back to stare at the ceiling. A vacation was in order, maybe even a leave of absence to sort through her feelings. The world wouldn’t end without her. And if it did, a tropical beach wouldn’t be the worst place to be.