Sirensong

Chapter Seventeen

I felt like crying, but that was a cop-out. I’d chosen to keep my secrets, even from the people who were supposed to be my best friends; it was time to face the consequences of my decisions.

Thanks to my mom, her drinking, and our constant moving from town to town, I’d learned that the only person I could ever fully trust was myself. I knew this wasn’t a good way to go about life, but time and time again, when I’d put my faith in my mom, the only constant in my life, she’d let me down. I’d let that turn me into a suspicious, secretive little bitch, and that wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to be. I should have trusted Kimber with the truth, and I didn’t know if I could ever make it up to her.

“I suck,” I said beneath my breath.

Ethan laughed, but it was a bitter, haunted laugh. “Maybe Kimber’s right and we deserve each other. Two natural-born liars.” He closed his eyes and thunked the back of his head against the wall of dirt and roots behind him.

“You were supposed to comfort me and tell me I don’t suck.” God, how pathetically needy I sounded.

Ethan opened his eyes and met my gaze. “I’m the one who told you to lie about it in the first place. And in case you didn’t get the mental telepathy message I was trying to send you, I wanted you to lie about it again just now. In other words, I suck, not you.”

I tried to run my hand through my hair in frustration, but it was a dirty, snarly mess. I had a mirror somewhere in my backpack, but I had no desire to see how hideous I looked right now.

“Maybe I should have lied again,” I said. I wouldn’t even have had to say anything. All I had to do was keep quiet and let the lie stand, and Kimber wouldn’t now be running blindly into the woods, hating my guts.

“And maybe you were right to tell the truth. It’s not like I have all the answers.”

I wrapped my arms around my legs and laid my chin on my knees, hurting, heartsick, and exhausted both mentally and physically. I had screwed up so many times, and it was mostly the people I cared about who suffered for it instead of me. That was just … wrong.

“Come here,” Ethan said, beckoning with a jerk of his chin. “I can’t give you a proper hug with my hands tied, but we can sort of pretend.”

Was he hoping to lure me into untying his hands?

I wanted to slap myself as soon as that thought crossed my nasty, suspicious mind. Two seconds ago, I was thinking about how I needed to trust people more.

Ethan nudged me with the tip of his shoe, which was all he could reach me with.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not offended that you don’t trust me right now. You know I may not be myself.”

“But you’re not feeling any insane urges to grab me and carry me off to the Erlking right now, right?”

One side of his mouth quirked up in a grin, though I didn’t think his expression would ever be quite as boyish as it had once been. “Nope. You’re mine, and I’m not sharing.”

Those words made me squirm, though they also brought a pleased blush to my cheeks. I would never really be his, not as long as my bargain with the Erlking lasted. I didn’t see any reason why the Erlking’s decision to hunt me would free me from our bargain.

I shouldn’t even have been thinking about that under the circumstances, but I couldn’t help it. Ethan was looking at me with a familiar hunger in his eyes, though I had to look about as appealing as moldy cheese and didn’t smell much better. Of course, Ethan was looking kind of rough himself, his hair all tangled, his clothes filthy, and that livid burn on his face constantly reminding me of the pain he must be in. My shoulder hurt like hell, but his mark had been bigger, so his burn was, too. I couldn’t imagine what it must feel like, and yet it didn’t stop him from looking at me like he wanted to get me into bed.

Knowing that Kimber and Keane would tell me I was being stupid if they were here, I scooted over until I was sitting right beside Ethan, then laid my head on his shoulder. The warmth of his body was comforting, but I desperately longed for the feel of his arms around me. I was severely tempted to untie his hands, but it was a temptation I managed to resist.

“Reach into my right front pocket,” he whispered.

I glanced up at his face and saw that he was serious, and that it wasn’t an attempt at flirtation. I frowned at him, having no idea why he wanted me to put my hand in his pocket. I hated having to be so suspicious of him, but it would be stupid of me not to think things through when I couldn’t be sure if the Erlking was influencing him.

“Hurry, before the others come back,” he urged.

Still, I hesitated, and even though Ethan understood my caution, there was a flash of annoyance in his eyes.

“I’m trying to give you back your brooch,” he said.

I gasped and reached for my own pocket, where I’d been keeping the Erlking’s brooch carefully hidden. The pocket was empty.

“The Erlking told me about it and made me take it from you before I tried to kidnap you,” Ethan explained. “I didn’t want to give it back to you while Kimber and Keane were around, because I knew you must be keeping it secret for a reason.”

There was no hint of accusation in his voice, and his casual acceptance of one more lie on my part almost brought me to tears. I couldn’t think of what to say—my reasons for keeping the brooch secret didn’t seem as good today as they had before—so I did as he asked and reached into his pocket. I tried not to think too much about just where I was putting my hand, but I couldn’t help but be aware of it as I felt around for the brooch, which of course was buried at the very bottom of the pocket.

Maybe if we’d been back in Avalon, alone and out of danger, I’d have found the courage to take advantage of our positions. Ethan was my boyfriend, after all, and though we could never go for the home run, we could certainly give the bases a try. It would be a dangerous game, because it was possible Ethan would let his hormones get the best of his common sense. I might not be the most experienced sixteen-year-old in the world, but I knew that boys’ brains sometimes resided in their pants. The only reason I was willing to risk even kissing him was that I trusted my own brain to stop us from going too far.

I was blushing again, but then my fingers found the brooch and I carefully pulled it out of Ethan’s pocket. I held it in the palm of my hand. It was a beautiful piece of jewelry, the metal gleaming silver that neither tarnished nor scratched, the stylized stag looking ready to leap off my hand at any moment.

“You don’t think the Erlking can track us through this, do you?” I asked. I had been so focused on the marks that I hadn’t even thought of that before, but the brooch was a rendering of the Erlking’s symbol.

“I don’t think so,” Ethan said. “Why would he need to track you through the brooch when he’d already put the mark on your shoulder?”

“Still,” I said, the words coming reluctantly, “maybe it would be best if I left it behind.”

“Don’t. If the Queen’s forces catch up with us, you need to be able to use the brooch to escape.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I am not running away and leaving you guys to face the music.” Maybe I’d been right all along about keeping the brooch secret.

“You’d damn well better!” he responded with some heat. “You’re the person they hold responsible for the bomb. You’re the one they’ll execute. The rest of us might be seen as accessories, but the Queen won’t kill us. Especially not Kimber and me, considering we’re Unseelie and killing us might cause an incident.”

I knew enough about Fae politics to be doubtful. No, Titania might not execute Ethan and Kimber, but she’d be happy to hand them over to Mab, the Unseelie Queen, who might well execute them as a gesture of goodwill or something stupid like that.

But Ethan was right about one thing: if Titantia’s forces caught me, I was dead. And if Henry had anything to do with it, I’d be dead even before I was brought back to the palace for the Queen’s pleasure. Maybe no one would believe me if I started pointing fingers, but why would he risk it? How hard would it be for Henry to bribe or bully the search party into taking me dead or alive, with the emphasis on dead? I suspected not hard at all.

With a sigh of resignation, I slipped the brooch back into my own pocket. I hoped I wouldn’t need to use it.

Kimber and Keane were gone long enough that I began to worry about them. If they’d been gone even five minutes longer, I probably would have gone out in search of them, no matter how dangerous it was for someone with my sense of direction to go wandering around in the woods alone.

I sighed with relief when I heard their voices approaching, but when they jumped down into the hollow with Ethan and me, I sensed trouble was about to start. Again.

There was a distinctive red mark on Kimber’s neck, and the tiny buttons on the bodice of her sundress were mis-buttoned. As if that weren’t bad enough, Keane was looking unbearably smug, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to guess what he and Kimber had been up to for all the time they were gone. Maybe he’d thought he was “comforting” her.

Once upon a time, Keane had made it obvious—without ever saying it out loud—that he was interested in me. I had made it just as obvious that I didn’t share his interest, though I’d been flattered by it, and I’d felt little tugs of irrational jealousy when he’d started paying attention to Kimber. I wanted to be happy for Kimber, I really did. It was just that I couldn’t help suspecting Keane’s motives. Ethan had stolen his girlfriend when they were in high school, and Keane made no secret that he held a major grudge. Was it a coincidence that Keane had shown interest in me and then shifted his attention to Ethan’s sister when I didn’t respond?

If he wanted to get a rise out of Ethan, Keane succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. The moment Ethan caught sight of them and saw the hickey on Kimber’s neck, magic flooded our little hollow. I whirled on Ethan, rushing to cover his mouth before he could get a spell out.

I was too slow.

“Back!” Ethan yelled in the instant before my hand landed on his mouth.

Kimber then did something either very brave or very stupid. Maybe a little of both. She stepped between Ethan and Keane.

Ethan’s spell slammed into her, and Kimber screamed as she was lifted off her feet and propelled backward. She bounced off Keane, who tried to grab her but managed to catch an elbow in the face for his efforts, then crashed into the trunk of a large tree. Her back hit first, the impact hard enough to rattle the tree’s branches, and then the back of her head smacked the trunk and she fell limply to the ground.

I tried to keep my hand over Ethan’s mouth, afraid of what else he might do, but he broke my hold easily, despite his bonds, and surged to his feet.

“Kimber!” he cried as he stumbled and ran to her side.

Keane was there before him, his hand at Kimber’s throat, feeling for her pulse. Logically, I’m sure we all knew she wasn’t dead. The Sidhe are very hard to kill, and though the impact had been hard, it hadn’t been that hard. Ethan had meant to hurt Keane, not kill him. That didn’t make it any less terrifying to see Kimber lying there, not moving.

We all relaxed marginally when Keane said, “She’s alive.”

She proved he was right by groaning softly, although her eyes didn’t open.

“Untie my hands!” Ethan ordered. “I can heal her.”

I’d seen Ethan heal wounds before, and I knew that whatever damage he’d done to Kimber, he could most likely fix it. But either Keane didn’t know that, or he was too furious to care.

“Put a fucking gag on him!” he barked at me. “We apparently can’t move fast enough to block his magic after all.”

“Don’t be an ass,” Ethan snapped back. “Untie my hands so I can heal my sister. I’m not about to waste magic on you now.”

Despite Ethan’s considerable talent, using magic did drain him, and he had limits to what he could do. I doubted the spell he’d hit Kimber with had done much to drain his magical reserves, but he’d already had plenty of time to lob another spell at Keane if he wanted, and he hadn’t done it.

Keane, however, didn’t see it that way. “I can heal her myself,” he said, talking to me instead of Ethan. Practicality demanded that Fae fighters learn some healing magic, but my impression was that it was just rudimentary stuff. Maybe it was enough to heal Kimber, or maybe not. “For all we know, this whole thing has been a plot to get us to untie his hands. Now put a gag on him before I break his pretty face. Again.”

“Try it,” Ethan growled. “See how easy it is when I’m ready for you.”

Magic filled the air once again, coming to Ethan’s silent call at incredible speed.

I already knew I wasn’t getting a gag on Ethan, not unless he felt like letting me. He’d torn out of my grip a minute ago with ease, after all. But if he decided his anger with Keane was greater than his concern for Kimber, this could get even uglier than it already was.

I swallowed hard, knowing there was only one way I could keep Ethan from casting anything, but fearing he would never forgive me if I did it. He was ignoring me, all his attention focused on Keane. I wasn’t sure I could knock him out with one blow—my lessons with Keane had been focused on defense, not offense—but I had to try.

My moment of indecision was more than enough to let Ethan unleash whatever spell he planned, but he didn’t do it. Which made me hesitate even more.

Keane shook his head in disgust. “Go ahead. Hit me with your goddamn spell while your sister is lying here unconscious from your last one.”

“All right, I will,” Ethan said, and suddenly the strip of T-shirt that bound his hands together behind his back disappeared.

I ordered myself to hit him before he did something disastrous, but I just couldn’t do it. This was Ethan, and for better or for worse, I had to admit to myself that I was probably in love with him. I might have been able to hit him in self-defense, but not like this, not in cold blood.

The magic in the air grew thicker, no doubt the result of Keane raising his shield spells, but Ethan didn’t attack him. In fact, he seemed almost to forget that Keane was there, instead leaning over and putting his hands on Kimber’s shoulders.

“Kimber?” he asked. “Can you hear me?”

She groaned and her eyes fluttered open. “Unfortunately,” she said, her face twisted with pain. “I think you broke my ribs.”

Ethan winced, and his cheeks reddened with shame. “I’m so sorry. I’ll fix it, but it’s going to hurt.”

Tears of pain leaked from Kimber’s eyes, but she still managed a first-class glare at her brother. “You are so off my Christmas list this year.” She reached a hand out toward Keane, who still looked like he wanted to ignore everything and beat the crap out of Ethan.

“For God’s sake, hold her hand!” Ethan snapped. “I’m not a real healer, and I can’t do anything for the pain.”

Keane grumbled something under his breath, but he moved closer to Kimber and wrapped his fingers around hers. Their eyes met and locked, and for the first time, it looked to me like he genuinely cared about her, that he wasn’t showing off for Ethan’s benefit. I wanted to hold her other hand, but I was surely still in her doghouse so I didn’t think she’d appreciate it.

Ethan’s magic swelled, and he whispered something so softly I couldn’t hear it. Kimber’s back arched, and she gasped in pain, her knuckles going white as she clasped Keane’s hand with desperate strength. And then it was over.

We all breathed a sigh of relief. Kimber was sweaty and shaking, but the expression on her face no longer screamed of pain. Keane kept hold of her hand, his thumb stroking back and forth idly.

“So you could have untied yourself anytime,” he said to Ethan, who shrugged. We had all badly underestimated his power, and we were lucky he hadn’t made us pay for it.

“Yeah. If you hadn’t damaged the mark, it would have been bad.”

“And you’re not under the Erlking’s influence right now, but you didn’t tell us that we weren’t taking enough precautions.”

Ethan reached up to rub his face, then remembered the burn and thought better of it. “I didn’t want to be gagged, which I figured was the next logical step.” His shoulders drooped. “But if the mark heals any more than it already has, I guess I’ll have to live with it.”

“More than it already has?” Keane asked, sounding horrified.

Ethan nodded grimly. “It doesn’t hurt as much as it should, and I think that means it’s healing.”

We all looked closely at the burn on his face. It definitely looked less angry than it had when it was fresh. But I had no idea how fast a burn would heal naturally on one of the Sidhe, except that it was faster than it would heal on a human or a half-blood like me. Maybe this was normal. Or maybe there was magic that would keep the mark from being permanently damaged.

My heart sank at the thought, then sank even lower when I considered all the ramifications of the mark healing. If Ethan’s mark healed, then mine probably would, too. And even if we could make it safely to Avalon, the Erlking would still be able to track me there. Titania had officially set him on me, which meant that the geis that prevented the Erlking from hunting indiscriminately in Avalon wouldn’t be in effect. Which meant my only hope of escaping him was to leave Avalon for the mortal world and never return.

I was still trying to absorb that unpalatable reality when Keane’s head suddenly popped up, his eyes going wide. I was going to ask him what was wrong, but then I heard it, too. The sound of someone moving through the underbrush, coming in our direction.

I remembered Kimber’s startled scream when Ethan’s spell had hit her, and realized we had been anything but quiet. Maybe whoever was approaching was some stray Fae, someone who wouldn’t be inclined to detain us and report us to the authorities. Or even someone we could overpower, between Keane’s fighting abilities and Ethan’s magic.

But my luck had been lousy for so long I wasn’t exactly hopeful that it was going to change now.