There’s a frog in the Kenwood blender.
There’s a cat in the microwave.
There’s a mouse in the waste disposal.
There’s a chef and his name is Dave.
There’s a cockroach that lives in the pâté,
And the salt is an earwig’s grave.
There are droppings all over the butter.
There’s a chef and his name is Dave.
There’s a nasty fungus under the stove,
Where the creepy crawlies wave.
And squeezing his spot in the beef hot-pot
There’s a chef and his name is Dave.
There’s a man from the Health Department
And he’s just been sick in the sink,
And the Watermans Arts Centre kitchen
Will be closed for a while, I think.