Serengeti Lightning

Chapter Eight

Mara leaned against the schoolhouse window, watching the kids tumbling over one another in the schoolyard. It was a gorgeous day. Probably one of the last perfect days of spring. The sun shone warm and pleasant, gearing up for the ungodly hot summer days to come.

Mara glanced around the schoolroom, looking for distraction. She’d already cleaned up the spilled glue, straightened the desks and put the stray articles of clothing back into the cubbies. Shifter kids went through clothing faster than their human counterparts, their outfits destroyed by the shift. She kept an extra set or two for each of her kids here at the school. Those extra outfits always managed to end up scattered around the room by the end of the day—even when none of the kids had shifted during class.

Normally, the kids would clean up after themselves, but Mara had released them early, wanting to do the task herself. Needing the busywork to occupy her hands. But now the schoolroom was spotless.

She had no more excuses.

Any other day, Mara would be outside with the cubs, watching over them or perhaps even joining in a game. Today, she pressed her forehead against the window, hiding behind that barrier of glass. She was being cowardly and she knew it, but she didn’t want to go outside.

Michael was out there.

He’d still been in her bed when she woke up that morning. Until she’d seen him there, she hadn’t realized how much she’d hoped he would make things easy on her and slink away into the night. When she’d thrown him out, he’d gone without a fight, thank God, but not before he dropped a few choice phrases into her ear.

I want a family too, Mara. One woman for the rest of my life, the kids, the house, all of it. Don’t write me off just yet.

Mara had felt unsettled all day. She couldn’t seem to get those words out of her thoughts. Had she been wrong about him? Her conviction to leave the pride was starting to feel forced and uncomfortably restrictive.

And then he’d shown up as school was letting out.

The kids had run to him, climbing all over him in an eager tumble. The pride was a tight-knit community, but this was more than just a standard reaction to any member of their pride. It was obvious the kids adored him.

He’d make a good dad. The thought crept up on her like a stealth attack. Mara shook it away, forcing herself to think rationally. “Of course the children love him,” she said aloud to herself in the empty classroom, her voice making the words seem more real. “He’s practically a child himself.”

He would play with his kids and they would adore him, but who would discipline them? Who would have to be the bad guy every time? Not Michael. Mara wanted a man who would love their kids, but he had to be a partner and a father, not another child to look after.

Michael was smart, funny and generally amiable. Hard not to like. But he was also impetuous, young, foolish and uncontrolled. Not mate material.

She would not waver just because he’d figured out the children were the way to woo her. Mara was not influenced by sweet gestures and pretty words. She made her decisions with her head. Her heart would just have to fall in line.

Mara stepped away from the front window, taking another lap around the classroom but finding everything in its place.

She needed to remind herself why she was doing this. Why it was so important she not make the wrong decision when it came to picking her mate. Mara crept out the back door of the schoolhouse, grateful the wind was in her favor and Michael wouldn’t immediately know she’d escaped.

She had to see her parents.

At the far edge of the ranch’s residential compound, distant enough to be private but close enough to be sociable, a little house looked out over the southern pasturelands. Roger and Martina Leonard’s house was different from most of the other bungalows on the ranch, in that it had its own kitchen, in addition to the separate bedrooms and sitting room. Most of the buildings in the pride took open-concept to a new level, but the cottage Mara had grown up in was unique.

The door swung open as she started up the path. A cuddly bear of a man with a bushy white beard stepped out onto the porch. “Mara!” he boomed, smiling broadly.

“Hi, Daddy.”

He swung her up in an enthusiastic hug before ushering her inside. “Your mother’s psychic,” he stage whispered as soon as her mom was in earshot. “She knew you were coming.”

Her mother flapped her hands at her father. “It’s Friday, you old goof,” she said affectionately.

Mara realized with a jolt that it was, in fact, Friday. The night of their weekly dinners together. Her father returned to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner and Mara set about helping her mother set the table, comforted by the rote ritual, the normalcy of it.

Her parents had been together for over forty years, but they had gotten a late start on their family, not having Mara until they were both in their thirties. That was part of why they’d both been so consistent in their support of her decision not to rush into marriage with the wrong man. Wait, Mara, you have plenty of time.

But somewhere between thirty and thirty-five, you have plenty of time had turned into lots of people are perfectly happy never having children. They still supported her, but now there was a tinge of pity tainting their support. They wanted so badly for her to be happy. It was hard not to feel like she’d failed them by not finding her Mr. Forever and living happily ever after. If she couldn’t do it, even with their love as her guiding light, what did that say about her? How pathetic was she?

“Chicken marsala, just the way my girls like it.” Her father shouldered open the kitchen door and strode out with a steaming platter that smelled like home.

They all took their seats around the table, the same chairs they’d sat in for every Friday dinner over the last three decades. Mara’s heart gave a pang as she realized she’d be giving up these Fridays if she went in search of her Mr. Forever. And if she found him in another pride, would he want to return to hers with her? Or would Mara only see her parents on the occasional visit, showing off their grandchildren only on scheduled trips?

She’d tried to think all this through, but the little sacrifices kept surprising her. She’d known she would be leaving her pride and all the people she’d grown up with, but the fear of isolation from her family and the keen ache she felt when she thought of leaving her students startled her.

“Delicious as ever, Rog,” her mother said.

Mara realized she’d been eating without tasting a bite. She looked up in time to see the small smile her parents shared, the same smile they’d been sharing for forty years. Her resolve firmed.

“I’m going to visit the pride in Florida next month,” she announced.

Her father stilled with his fork in midair. “Florida?” he repeated, as if she’d just announced a trip to the moon.

Her mother covered her father’s free hand where it rested on the table. “For how long, sweetheart?”

Mara squirmed in her chair, inexplicably unnerved by her mother’s calm acceptance. “For a while. Until I see if…if there might be someone there…for me.”

Her mother simply nodded, like she’d been expecting this for a while. Her father cleared his throat roughly. “Right…” he mumbled, then repeated the word with more conviction. “Right. You should go.”

It was back, the pity in their eyes. It stung to see it there, but Mara couldn’t say she was surprised. Now that she thought about it, she’d been seeing that expression on a lot of faces lately. Everyone knew how she’d failed. She was officially pathetic. The desperate spinster. A figure of ridicule.

Would people in her new pride look at her that way? Would they know she’d run away from Three Rocks as a failure?

“It’s a good idea,” her mother said with forced cheer. “A fresh start.”

Mara’s stomach churned and she set down her fork. Would it really be a fresh start or would she carry her shame with her, as obvious as a scarlet letter? Pathetic, unlovable Mara.

Her father reached across to pat her hand. “It’ll work out, Mara. Don’t you worry. Fate has wonderful things in store for you, baby.”

Tears pricked her eyes, but she forced out a smile. “Thank you, Daddy.” If only she had his faith. Fate didn’t seem to be doing her any favors lately.