Sarai was stirring a pot of porridge over the stove when Jax came into the kitchen. She could sense his presence immediately, of course, but she didn't acknowledge him. There was no way she'd let him know just how aware she was of his every move.
She lifted the porridge and turned to pour it into the bowls she'd set out.
"Mali, Able, do you want sweetener in your cereal?" she asked brightly. Then she turned and allowed herself to see him lounging against the doorway, arms folded in front of his chest.
"Yes," Mali piped up, looking excited. Able grunted, glaring at Jax. At least one of her children hadn't gone over to the enemy, Sarai thought dryly.
"Do you have enough for me to have a bowl?" Jax asked softly. The question seemed innocent enough, but his voice was dark and silky. It caressed her ears, reminding her of how he had sounded as he came into her that night.
"No," she said tightly, walking over to the table and setting down the bowls in front of the children. "Food isn't part of the arrangement here. I've told you that before. There are any number of places in town where you can find breakfast."
Jax simply smiled at her, and then sauntered across the kitchen to the table. She glared at him forbiddingly, but he ignored her. Coming up beside Mali, he swung one leg over the bench and straddled it next to the small girl.
"Good morning, Jax," Mali said brightly, carefully balancing her spoonful of cereal and blowing on it. "Would you like some of my breakfast? Mommy always gives me too much."
"No thank you, sweetheart," Jax said, catching Sarai's eye. "I'll get something later.
You'll need all your food so you have energy to play today, and do your studies."
Mali nodded, stuffing the spoon in her mouth. Sarai pursed her lips. She'd already asked him several times not to come into the kitchen, but she didn't want to make a scene in front of the children. They'd been through enough without having to watch that. Instead, she filled her own bowl and turned to the table. Jax watched her as Mali chattered on about her plans for the day. Able glared.
"Are you done with your food?" she asked finally, and the two small blond heads nodded in unison. "Put your bowls in the sink, and go on outside."
Mali hopped up and carried her bowl to the sink. Able followed more slowly, watching them carefully.
"It's all right, son," Sarai said, giving him as open a smile as she could manage. "You go on and play with your sister. It'll be time for your lessons before long."
"All right," he muttered, and stomped out the back door behind Mali. Silence fell over the kitchen.
"Mali tells me you had to carry pails of water for the vegetables yesterday afternoon,"
Jax said in a smooth, drawling voice. "She told me the water wasn't working right. Do you know what's wrong with it?"
"No," Sarai said tightly.
"Have you called anyone to fix it yet?" Jax asked, watching her face carefully.
"No," she replied, refusing to meet his gaze. "I don't want to spend the money right now."
"I can take a look at it if you like," Jax said lightly.
"And what would a soldier know about irrigation?" Sarai said sharply.
"Well, I wasn't born a soldier," Jax replied calmly. "I was born on a farm, and I used to work on the irrigation equipment with my father. They have farms in Saurellia, you know.
Even soldiers have to eat."
Sarai was startled. She'd never thought of Saurellians as farmers. They were soldiers, conquerors. They came and took things; they fought the Empire. They didn't fix broken pipes.
"Well, I can't stop you," she said, standing abruptly. She scooped up her plate and turned away from him. "But I don't want you bothering me here. You need to leave."
"Sarai," Jax said quietly. "You can't just brush me off forever. I'm not going away.
Why won't you at least give me a chance?"
"I don't want you in my life," she said tightly. "I don't want any man in my life."
Jax came up behind her. She couldn't hear him move, but she could sense his presence with every fiber of her being. She tried to look relaxed, but she felt like screaming. She was trapped, she couldn't move.
"I'm already here," he replied, all but whispering in her ear. "I'm not leaving. We can't just leave this thing between us unfinished."
She whirled to face him, startled by how close he was. His chest was just inches from her face. His shirt was open just a bit at the neck, and a few dark hairs from his chest caught her attention. They were coarse and curly. She already knew what they felt like. They had been wiry against her hands that night.
She could smell him, too. He smelled a little like the soap she kept in each of the hostel's rooms, and a little like himself. Jax. She took a deep breath, hoping to calm herself.
Instead she inhaled more of his scent. A thrill at his presence ran through her body. She could feel herself starting to tremble. Steeling herself, she took a deep breath and stared straight into his eyes.
"You have no idea what I've been through in my life," she said. "I'm free now, and so are my children. We've lived under a man's control before. I won't go back to that. Ever."
Jax reached one hand up, lightly brushing her cheek with the backs of his fingers.
"I don't want to control you," he whispered. He leaned over and brushed a kiss against her ear. "I want to make love to you, and be with you. Nothing more than that."
She held herself still, longing to lean into him.
"Give me a chance," Jax continued. "And I'll prove it to you. I don't expect you to accept anything on faith."
Sarai closed her eyes tightly. He was too intense, too much. She wanted to touch him, feel the smooth silk of his skin under her fingertips, the wiry hair of his chest. What had he said? Give him a chance? She had to get rid of him somehow. Maybe she could use his own words against him, she thought desperately.
"You want a chance?" she said, opening her eyes. His face was only inches from hers, his gaze focused on her mouth. He licked his lips, and something inside her clenched. If she leaned forward even the slightest bit, they would be touching. "If I give you a chance, will you go away?"
A stillness came over Jax.
"Yes," he said slowly.
"I'll give you a week," Sarai said nervously. She could feel tension radiating from him.
He was like wild predator, one who wanted to devour her.
"A week isn't enough," Jax replied softly. "I want a month. And during that month you have to let me touch you."
"No," she said quickly. She already knew how dangerous his touch could be.
"Yes," he replied firmly. "You want me to promise to leave you? Well, I'll leave if after a month you still want me to. But you have to let me touch you whenever I want. And I want to sleep in your room."
"I won't have sex with you," she said in panic. "I won't ever have sex with another man unless it's my choice. I won't give you that kind of power over me."
"I didn't say you had to have sex with me," he replied smoothly. His eyes were intense, compelling. His fingers brushed her cheek again; it was impossible to think. How did he do it? How did he make her melt like this?
"If you don't want to make the deal, I can't force you," he continued. "But it's the only way you're going to get rid of me. What do you say?"
"Two weeks," she said desperately. "A month is too long."
"Three weeks," he whispered. His lips brushed against hers, his body pressed her back against the counter. She could feel the entire length of him. His frame was hard with muscles, and against her belly an unmistakable bulge jutted.
Against her will, her hands rose to grip his waist. She wanted him to pull her against him, to lift her up onto the counter and thrust into her. She took a deep breath.
"Three weeks," she whispered. Could she last that long? She would have to. She had seen his determination; this might be her best chance to get rid of him.
He groaned as she agreed, his mouth taking hers in a kiss unlike any she'd ever experienced. His lips were rough, commanding her to open to the onslaught of his tongue.
His arms came around her like bands of iron, molding her to him even as one leg thrust between hers.
He thrust into her mouth like a marauder, a warrior, and she let her head fall back under his strength. He plumbed her depths, thrusting again and again even as his lower body ground slowly against her pelvis. She could feel her nipples tightening, and moist heat built between her legs. How was she going to survive three weeks with this man? She couldn't even survive three minutes!
"What are you doing to my mother?" Able's voice cut through the kitchen, filled with disapproval and dislike. Jax stilled instantly, and Sarai all but whimpered as he pulled his lips from hers. He stood back from her, and turned to face the boy.
Sarai's son was standing there, both hands on his hips and his face twisted with dislike.
She groaned inwardly, disgusted by her own behavior. She had allowed this man to maul her in front of her child, a child who had seen first-hand the horrors his father had committed.
"I was kissing her," Jax said lightly. "Does that bother you?"
"Yes," Able said, his face grim. Sarai rubbed a hand against her forehead. How was she going to explain this to Able?
"I don't plan to hurt her, and I won't do anything she hasn't agreed to let me do," Jax said, keeping his tone friendly. "But I wasn't making her do anything she didn't want me to do."
"Is that right, Mom?" Able asked, turning his accusing gaze to her. She sighed, knowing he would be upset if she said yes. For a moment she considered saying no, covering up her part in the kiss. But she had never lied to her children before, and now wasn't the time to start.
"Yes," she said. "I agreed to let him kiss me."
"Oh," Able said, at a loss for words. He looked confused, and suddenly very young.
"Why did you do that?"
Sarai gave a choked laugh, wondering what to tell him. Because I can't control myself?
Because I made a deal to get rid of him? Because your father only hurt me, but when this man touches me I feel like I'll break into a thousand pieces, and it feels good? None of them were answers she could give her son.
"Because sometimes men and women like to kiss," she said finally. Able's face grew dark again.
"That's a stupid reason," he said after a brief pause. Then he whirled and ran out of the room.
Sarai slumped back against the counter.
"I'm a terrible mother," she whispered, looking up at him with haunted eyes. "How could I let you do that where my children might see? This deal we've made, none of it can happen around them. They are my life, they are far more important than you. Can you understand that?"
Jax nodded, his gaze inscrutable.
"As long as you understand that at night you're mine, I'll make sure I don't touch you in front of the children."
"Thank you," she replied. "I can't have them getting hurt over this. They've already been hurt enough."
Jax reached one finger to her chin, and lifted her face so he could look at her directly.
"I understand," he whispered, dropping a quick, light kiss on her mouth. He straightened, then spoke again in a louder voice. "I'll go take care of that pipe now. Let me know if you need anything, all right?"
He turned and strode out of the room.
He could win her over, he knew it.
Sarai was inside getting the children ready for bed. He sat outside her bedroom in the garden, waiting for her. It had been dark for hours; she'd kept the children up well past their bedtime. She was avoiding him, using them as a shield. But eventually she would run out of excuses.
He saw the light come on in her room, and the outline of her body against the drapes. If she had any idea how sheer they were she would faint, he thought with amusement. Every night she gave him a show, as she got ready for bed.
She untied her apron and started removing her clothes quickly and efficiently. Turning as she pulled off her dress, she was briefly silhouetted. Long, slender legs, shapely breasts that were still fairly firm, even after two children. Her blonde hair hung down her back like a curtain. What would it look like over her naked body? he wondered. That one night they'd had together had been all too brief. He'd never gotten the chance to see her as he'd fantasized so many times. He wanted her astride him, her head thrown back in pleasure and her breasts bouncing. Her hair would be wild and free, offering him glimpses of her body even as she rode him through the night.
He hardened at the thought, blood rushing to his groin. A familiar ache spread through him, making him groan.
Her room went dark. It was time to make his move.
He rose and walked silently over to the sliding door that separated them. He tested the latch, noting with amusement that she'd kept it locked. As if a lock would be able to keep him out.
He knocked softly, but she didn't respond. Probably hoping he'd go away. She would have no such luck tonight. By promising not to touch her in front of the children he had given up valuable time with her during the day. He wouldn't allow her to waste any of their nights together. He pulled a small laser pick out of his pocket and had the door open within seconds. In addition to being raised on a farm, he'd spent some time in juvenile detention for petty theft during his unruly youth, something he hadn't felt like mentioning to her earlier.
The skills he learned there came in handy at times.
He slid the door open and stepped quietly into the room. She was lying on the bed, pretending to be asleep, but she knew he was there. He could tell by the catch in her breathing that she was as aware of him as he was of her.
"Sarai, you promised," he whispered, trying to keep the desperate need he felt out of his voice. Her presence called to him, it took every bit of strength he had not to press her back against the bed and thrust his cock into her until she screamed. She was so hot, so tight. He bit back a groan at the thought. "You didn't think I'd forget, did you?"
"I had hoped," she whispered. She sat up in bed, clutching the covers in front of her.
"I don't think so," he replied, gliding across the floor to her bed. "I've been dreaming about this moment all day. I can't wait to touch you."
"No sex," she said tersely. "You promised no sex."
"I don't need to come inside you to enjoy being with you," he said quietly. He pulled his shirt over his head impatiently, then kicked off his shoes and pants. She shrank back as he pulled the covers back and slid into bed.
"What are you going to do?" she asked nervously.
"Just hold you," he said, reaching out and pulling her into his arms. She turned away from him, so he gently nestled her back against his chest. Her tight little ass nestled against his hard length and his breathing grew ragged. The only thing separating him from her hot opening was the thin cloth of her shift, worn from many washings.
She was tense, and as his hips pressed against hers involuntarily, she stiffened further.
He sighed, and forced his body to remain still. She wasn't going to make things easy.
Her hair smelled clean and fresh, like the flowers she grew in the garden. He dropped his nose to it, inhaling deeply. Her head was resting on one of his arms, the other arm holding her loosely against him. He gave her several minutes to get used to his presence, then slid his open palm along her stomach.
She stiffened again, but this time he ignored her, allowing his hand to slide slowly up her body until he was cupping one of those beautiful breasts he'd seen outlined through the window. The fabric of her shift was so thin it was useless in providing her any protection from his touch. He grunted triumphantly as the nipple hardened against his fingers. He played his fingers back and forth, and her breath caught.
"You like that, don't you?" he whispered against her ear. It was a smooth shell beneath his lips, and he dropped little kisses on it and the back of her neck. She squirmed, murmuring something.
"No," she said, but her nipples betrayed her. Her breasts swelled under his fingers, silently begging him for more.
He let his hand drop, smoothing the fabric of her shift along her stomach. Her stomach muscles twitched as his finger trailed lower, and she shifted her legs restlessly, pressing them together. The motion forced him to stop for a moment, breathing deeply and trying to maintain control. Her ass was wiggling against him so much, he felt like a rocket about to go off. It would be so easy to slide his leg between hers, to hold her open for his thrust.
But he couldn't do that, not until she asked for it, he reminded himself. He had made a promise; he couldn't afford to blow this. Not if he wanted to keep her in his life.
He allowed his fingers to drift lower, until he could feel the thatch of her hair under the fabric. He pushed one finger experimentally toward the opening there, and moisture started soaking the fabric. She was definitely enjoying this, even though she seemed to be doing everything in her power not to show it.
He let the finger trail up, smoothing its way across the tiny nubbin of her clit. She twitched, and his hips thrust against her spasmodically. She pressed back into him, trying to escape his finger. Instead, she pushed against his cock so hard he thought he might explode.
He wiggled his finger, and was answered by a wiggling of her little butt. He sighed in pleasure, then started moving his fingers in earnest.
He pressed down against her clit, rubbing it back and forth even as he applied the pressure. The fabric was becoming soaked with her juices, and her breath was coming fast.
So was his, and against his will he started rubbing his cock against her ass. It jutted up against her, sliding back and forth in her crack, cradling his erection.
His fingers moved more quickly, and he tried pushing into her a bit with them. The fabric wouldn't let him, though. He briefly considered trying to work the fabric up, but he was afraid to stop moving for even a second. He didn't want to give her a chance to change her mind; something he knew would happen if he gave her any time to think. Instead he slid one finger on each side of her clit, tugging and pulling it back and forth, increasing the tempo of his movements as her breathing caught and become ragged.
He could feel the blood in his body pooling in his groin, and he started thrusting against her body, rubbing his engorged flesh between them. He realized that by pushing harder against her clit with his hand, he could not only bring her more pleasure, but she would jerk her hips back into him. Each jerk pushed his cock deeper between her ass cheeks. His breath started growing ragged.
She was grinding against his hand now, making ragged, whimpering noises and muttering something under her breath. He pulled her even more tightly against him, his hips writhing slowly against her from one side while his hand worked her harder and harder from the other side. She jerked against him spasmodically, grunting and moaning. He knew she was close. He straightened his index and middle fingers, pulled the fabric taut as he thrust them into the mouth of her cunt. He rubbed back and forth roughly, dragging the fabric roughly across her swollen flesh. She stiffened, spasmed against him and a keening noise came out of her mouth.
Unable to control himself, he thrust against her back violently. In that instant she came, squealing, her ass cheeks tightening around his bulging cock. The squeeze was so strong it was almost painful. He thrust once more, then his own orgasm hit him. He gasped; clutching her pelvis to him so hard there would be bruises in the morning, and spraying his seed into the fabric of her shift. Again and again he jerked against her in ecstasy, grunting harshly into the mass of her hair.
Gradually the sensations faded, and he loosened his grip on her body. Neither of them spoke in the darkness. He had lost control; he'd had no intention of coming himself. His entire goal had been to give her pleasure, not to explode all over her like an untried youth.
He would make it up to her.
Gently moving away from her, he pulled her damp shift over her head and threw it on the floor. Then he rolled her onto her back and leaned over her, propping himself up on one arm. She stared up at him with a dazed expression. A wave of smug pleasure washed through him. She'd been as affected by his touch as he'd been by hers, regardless of his lack of control. She opened her mouth and took in a breath, preparing to speak.
Before she could say anything, he covered her mouth with his. His tongue swept in, exploring her depths. His fingers found her clit again, still dripping and hot from her orgasm. She reacted to his touch instantly, her hips rising under his touch and her arms reaching up to clench his shoulders.
He thrust his fingers into her hot opening roughly, this time without the fabric to separate them. She was slippery and wet, pulling him to her. He lifted his mouth from hers, and she stared up at him, eyes pleading for another release.
"Please," she whispered. "I need—"
He cut her off with another long, slow kiss, all the while working her clit and exploring her cunt. She squirmed against him, moaning into his mouth. Then he sat up abruptly and stepped off the bed. Wrapping one hand around each of her ankles, he pulled her body toward the edge, kneeling between her spread legs. Draping one leg over each of his shoulders, he leaned forward and touched his tongue to her clit.
Delicately, he parted the folds of her flesh, swirling his tongue around the sensitive nub. He opened his mouth wider and sucked gently. She squirmed and bucked against him, her entire body shivering.
"That feels so good," she gasped. He paused, looking up to find her leaning back on her arms and watching him. The sight of her, flushed with passion, her lips bruised by his kiss, was incredibly erotic, but it wasn't enough. He wanted her screaming, losing control and begging him to fuck her.
His head dipped again, his lips and tongue tugging harder on her flesh. Again and again he thrust his tongue into her willing flesh, until she dropped back against the bed and started bucking against him. He wrapped his arms up and around her legs, holding her steady and renewed his attack.
She was twisting and moaning so much that he could tell she was getting close to her completion. He stabbed into her with a series of tongue thrusts, then started wiggling his tongue back and forth against her stiffened clit. She shrieked, her entire body tensing, and came with a heave of her hips against his mouth.
He pulled her down into his arms, cradling her body against his and kissing her forehead and face. She was drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. With shock, Jax realized she was crying. He pressed her head to his chest as a series of sobs shook her body.
What the hell was going on? He'd been trying to please her, not make her cry.
Carefully lifting her limp body, he laid her in the bed and crawled in next to her, pulling her against him. She cried in silence for a while, then snuffled noisily, turning her head away from him.
"Let's go to sleep," she said finally, to his surprise. Didn't she want to talk? Women always wanted to talk, especially when they'd been crying. He was out of his depth.
"Sarai, I think—" he started to say, but she cut him off.
"No, I just want to go to sleep," she said. "I said you could touch me. Talking wasn't part of the deal, so shut up."
She was right. Talking hadn't been part of the deal.
Eventually her breathing evened out and he could tell she really was asleep. His own rest was harder to find, his thoughts racing as the hours passed. If he couldn't win her over with sex and she wouldn't even talk to him, what chance did he have of convincing her to stay with him?
Three weeks, he reminded himself. Three weeks, and then he was bound to leave.
There had to be a way to convince her she needed him as much as he needed her. He just had to find it.